Power Play
by SevReed
Summary: When is a submissive not a submissive? When it's Jade West, of course. A missing friend leads her into the bizarre world of Tori Vega, where the past casts deep shadows and nothing is quite what it seems. Can she find the real Tori? And what lies at the heart of the infamous Diamond Club? A mystery story, based on 'The Real Me' by Quitting Time.
1. Chapter 1 - The Weirdest Family in LA

**For anyone coming across this story for the first time, it's kind of doubly AU - it's based on the universe of 'The Real Me' by Quitting Time, and then it's an alternate version of that. It follows the events of the first story up until Chapter 20, then we diverge at a decision point - 'The Real Me' takes a different turn after that, whereas our story... well, you'll see if you read it. And don't be put off by the opening, all is not what it seems and there will be Jori eventually, although be warned - this is not a fluffy story.**

 **Standard disclaimers apply, and please feel free to review, we're still going...**

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 **A/N Update: And now we're finished! Villains have been battled, dragons have been slayed, but did our girls find peace? It's been a much longer haul than I'd expected, but I hope it's been worth it - if you make it to the end, let me know what you think.**

 **Regards**

 **Sev**

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 _._

 _._

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 _I am tired, I am weary..._

 _I could sleep for a thousand years..._

 _._

 _._

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 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 23**

I know I've let this go for a while but if anything comes from what I'm doing I'm going to need some copy. It's been nearly six months now. Six months since she came to me with that smug look on her face and told me she knew what I wanted, that she knew the real me. I tell you Sally, I could have punched the stupid bitch in the mouth right there and then, except I couldn't, because this _was_ what I wanted. What I was waiting for. I had to find out if the rumors were true, Sal. I had to know. So I did what I had to do. I went to her house, I got down on my knees and I said _Yes_.

But it's been hard, Sal, real hard. Six months of Tori fucking Vega and her house of horrors. I know you were into this stuff, but Jesus... I'm a good actress, but there aren't enough Oscars in the world for this performance. I've lost my boyfriend, my self-respect and I'll probably be blackmailed to hell and back when it's over, but I'll keep going.

I'll find the Diamond Club, Sal. I'll find out what happened to you.

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 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 24**

She's weak, Sal, that's the irony. Pathetic. I could snap her like a twig if I wanted. And you have no idea how many times I've wanted to do that, over these past few months. No idea how many times I've wanted to turn around and just... _crush_ her, leave her lying crumpled on the floor, with a note saying _so long and thanks for everything._ But of course I can't do that, can I? Can't let go until I've got what I want. And so we carry on this merry dance, she and I. This mad, scary little dance in the half-light, where the orchestra's out of tune and the dance floor hurts my feet, and nothing is how it should be. We're using each other, but only _I_ know it. Does that make me better than her? Or worse?

I'm sorry, Sal, I'm not making much sense. I've got to stop updating when I'm drunk.

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 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 25**

Shopping. We've been shopping. We went to the mall first. She likes me to wear the collar even when we're out, and she giggles and tugs it every now and again when no one's looking, like it's our little secret. I suppose I should be grateful that she still lets me choose some of my own clothes, albeit with her approval. She likes my hair too, I'm not allowed to change it on pain of... well, pain. But this is still a miserable existence, Sal. It might be different if you're in love, or you like this kind of thing, but when you don't it's just grim. In fact, in some ways it's worse than being an _actual_ slave, at least they don't have to pretend they like it. They can just get on with the business of being miserable and oppressed, without the overhead of having to smile encouraging when their dimwit owner tries on the fifteenth identical flouncy top and asks if it goes with their earrings.

Later we went to a more... specialized place. So we could choose something new to play with. Well, I say 'we'. She gets to choose it while I stand there wondering whether I'll still be able to walk this time tomorrow. I always have to take it to the counter and pay for it, though. She likes that.

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 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 26**

I still can't believe I'm doing this. When I started, I thought it would be a couple of weeks, maybe a month at the most. It would be embarrassing, sure, and maybe painful, but I'd find out what I needed to know and then laugh in her face when it was all over and I could go back to kicking her sorry ass. I was kind of looking forward to that part - she couldn't do much to me, she wouldn't want anyone at school to know about it any more than I did. I guess she'd always have the satisfaction of knowing she'd had me on my knees but at least it would be private, just between me and her. And it would be worth it for you.

But it hasn't panned out like that, Sal. I hadn't realized just how restrictive it was going to be, how suffocating - there was no discussion, no easing me into it, it was just bang, total control. And it soon became obvious that that whole side of it was her domain. We never talked about it, never set any boundaries, there was no safe word, no consent, nothing. That was the price. I was just a passenger on this journey, and I was going to spend it tied up and stuffed in the trunk. Can you see how frustrating that is, Sal? And so I kept going, further and further down the rabbit hole, each degradation leading to another until here I am, nearly six months down the line, with an ass like shoe leather and still no closer to finding the Diamond Club.

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 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 27**

Finally, a breakthough of sorts. The game is afoot! Last night was our six-month 'anniversary'. Man, I was dreading the whole thing, somehow all the whipping and humiliation didn't seem quite so bad compared to the thought of having to spend the whole evening making lovey-dovey with the miserable bitch over a restaurant table, but in the end it wasn't so bad. She's actually pretty funny when she forgets who she is. _What_ she is.

It didn't last though. After we'd come home she announced she was going to have me _tattooed_ , for God's sake. Marked as hers. I spent a mad half hour this morning ringing round to find out where we were going, finally lucked out with Kim - you remember her, Sal, she did the star on my arm - and made a deal with her to make sure it was only temporary. I'll have to have it redone every month, but I'm sure as hell not spending all eternity with 'Tori's Slut' tattooed on my ass, not even for you. Anyway, we got down there later and Kim got busy, making it all look real, and while they were talking, the Club came up - turns out Kim's into all this stuff. For a minute I thought maybe I should ditch Vega and take up with Kim instead, but Kim's too smart for that – plus she's got arms like a lumberjack, I don't think I'd last a week. Good news is, it looks like my little monster's shooting for membership, which I assume means I'll be going along too. Obviously she didn't deign to discuss it with me, I'm only the lowly sub whose sorry ass is going to get put through the wringer to get her there (or at least that's what Kim said while Vega was taking a wazz), but if you've been through it, Sal, I can do it too.

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 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 28**

Sometimes it frightens me, Sal, the intensity of it all - of her. It's like she really believes all this, like it's some kind of religion. I always assumed this was supposed to be – I don't know - _fun_ , but with her it's as if she's entitled to be served, it's her destiny. I've told you before that her whole family's into it - which is freaky enough, even thinking about my parents going at it makes me want to puke - but for these guys it's just like joining the family business. Sometimes I can overhear her getting advice from her Mom on what to do, how to keep me in line, how to _control_ me as if I were an animal too stupid to understand what's going on. Is that normal, Sal? I really wish you were here to give me some advice, but then if you were still here I wouldn't have to go through this whole stupid charade. Maybe when I'm done I'll turn it into a book - 'My Life With The Vegas, The Weirdest Family in L.A.'

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 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 29**

Still no talk of actually _going_ to the Club - it's been mentioned but I can't press it. I'm not supposed to have any opinion or control over what happens when we're 'on'. I suspect the idea is that it's going to be sprung on me as a little surprise, to test me.

Speaking of being 'on', we seem to have settled into something of a routine now – part of the time I'm 'off duty' and we just carry on as if we're girlfriends, as if we're somehow normal people. If I'm honest, this is the hardest part - when she's doing her business with me, I don't have to think - I just switch off and go to the happy place in my head. In the beginning I even used to pretend it was someone else - you maybe, or even Beck - but that turned out to be a _big_ mistake. I ended up getting carried away and screwed up big time, I though she was going to dump me over that (luckily a bit of grovelling managed to get me back in the good books, although I had to take a beating to prove it), so now I just go blank - as long as I make the right noises at the right time she's happy. But when we're just hanging out I have to concentrate, act like a girlfriend, make her believe that I _love_ her, and that's hard. I have to compartmentalize everything, because there is a side to her that I don't mind, that I could have been friends with, even, if I'd never needed to do this. So I try to forget whatever abomination went on the night before, and act like the real Jade West - or at least as much of her as I judge Vega can tolerate. And I tell you Sal, I'm pretty good - I think in her own twisted way, she really thinks we're in love.

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 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 30**

Scratch that last entry, I can't stand the stuck-up bitch. I had my hair done today - nothing radical, just a bit of styling like that chick in The Scissoring - and she went absolutely fucking ballistic. I mean, I know the stupid rules say I can't change my hair, but you'd think I'd run over her dog or something (what am I saying? I _am_ her dog). Jesus, I've never taken a beating like that - there was nothing fun or sexy about it, just straight-up fucking agony until I really thought I was going to have to grab the paddle off her and smash her head in with it. How did you stand this kind of thing, Sal? Maybe your mistress wasn't like Vega - I'm beginning to suspect she's got some kind of bipolar condition. I'm having serious doubts about putting my safety in the hands of someone so unstable.

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 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 31**

Sorry, Sal, I haven't updated in a while, I've been sick. The flu I think, anyway three days in bed feeling like crap, and I've got to say, I'm amazed. Tori's been at my bedside practically the whole time, bringing me chicken soup, feeling my forehead, running round after me like I'm an actual human being - like _she's_ an actual human being. I know she's only doing it to get me off my back and back on my knees as soon as possible, but still, it's quite a sight to see. It's times like this, Sal, that I almost feel sorry for her, almost feel guilty for using her like this - she seems so genuine, like she really _cares_ , that it's going to be hard on her when she finds out the truth. She's like a little kid playing with a puppy, and when it bites her, there are going to be tears. I know I can't think like that, Sal. I know I've got to keep going. But sometimes...

Shit. When I start thinking of her as _Tori?_

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 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 32**

Next week, Sal. We're going to the Club next week. I overheard them talking in the kitchen, turns out Tori's mom is some kind of bigwig at the Club, one of the seniors who vet the new members (not that she's allowed to vet me and Tori, that would be 'unethical' - I am seriously through the looking glass here). Well, I tell you this, Sal – Tori Vega may or may not have a day of reckoning coming, I haven't decided yet, but if she does it will be nothing - _nothing_ \- compared to the holy shitstorm I will rain down on Holly Vega if I find out she had something to do with what happened to you. In fact come to think of it, I might just do it anyway, for what she's done to Tori, what she's turned her into. Anyway, I guess you know the deal with all this, but I wish I'd got more out of Kim about these 'tasks' - she's out of town for a couple of weeks so I'm going to have to play it by ear, doesn't look like Tori's going to clue me in. Which is pretty fucking stupid if you think about it, considering the whole thing's for her benefit. You'd think we'd be working together on this.

Speaking of the Club, I've got some preparation to do. More than once I've seen Tori's mom eyeing up my bag when I've left it on the sofa, I think she's itching to go through it, get something on me to keep me in line. I've got to do something about that before Tori let's her. She'll do pretty much anything her mom tells her, sometimes I wonder who's really in control of this 'relationship', Tori or Holly.

Yeah, just kidding, Sal. It's _me_.

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 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 33**

Okay, prep done. I've got a bag stuffed with fake details, plus some crappy old horror story I wrote last year. If anybody tries anything, I'll know.

Tori's obviously pretty stoked by the idea of going to the Club, but it's making her nervous - halfway through our session last night she totally zoned out, and while that was a bit of a relief, it put me in kind of an awkward position, no pun intended - I'm not allowed to speak without permission, so eventually I had to fake a coughing fit to remind her I was still there. Anyway, normal service was resumed, and for once, just for a moment, I kind of got into it - I'll admit that I can be pretty kinky at times, you of all people should know that, Sal, and if this was all there was to it I could almost see myself having fun, even with _her_ (although I wouldn't keep all the pain to myself, I can tell you that). It's all the other stuff I can't stand, all the pointless rules and obedience and talking like you just walked out of a seventeenth century romance novel. All the _formality_. And the problem is, that's the stuff that really does it for her - it's not enough to pretend you're a slave in the bedroom, she wants to really believe it. _All the time_. She wants to believe that when she's whipped you until you cry, you're crying for _her_.

She wants to believe she owns you - mind, body and soul.

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 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 34**

Tonight's the night, Sal. She didn't say it but I could hear the anticipation in her voice when she called. I could practically smell it. Tonight we're going to the Diamond Club, and I'm going to start getting some answers. I've got to go now, God knows what she'll be like if I'm late. I'll update tomorrow, I'll probably have to stay over.

Wish me luck, Sal. Here we go.

 **End of Transcript**


	2. Chapter 2 - No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

_A thousand dreams, that would awake me..._

 _Different colors, made of tears._

 **Jades Diary – Transcript 35**

I don't know where to start with this, Sal. I've been home a while now, and I've had, like, four showers, but I'm still wondering what to say. I guess I'll just grab a coffee and start at the beginning.

First thing to say, Sal, is that I didn't find out anything useful, at least not this time. I hate to say it, but it looks like I'm in for the long haul. I'm going to have to get right in there, even if it breaks me.

I want you to know that if it does, I wouldn't blame you for that, Sal. It's my decision. I'd never hold it against you.

As for what happened... I turned up at the Vega household bang on time, and there they both were, Tori and her mom wearing matching corsets like the world's shortest, saddest chorus line. I nearly burst out laughing there and then, but you can imagine how that would gone down. So I sucked it in and stood there like a good little sub while Vega senior gave me the good news that, suprise, surprise, we were going to the Club. Then she launched into a whole piece about how important it all is, about the 'sisterhood', all these rich and powerful dommes that make the world go round - I'm guessing you've heard some version of this speech before, Sal, but it just went on and on, I bet the Illuminati didn't make this big a deal of it. Anyway, the upshot of all this is that it's vitally important that Tori becomes a member of this bunch of clowns, and that's pretty much down to me, and how my 'mistress' handles me. I need to be on-point, alert and focused.

So clearly the best way for them to help with that was to scream in my face for the next ten minutes. I'm not kidding, Sal, that's just what they did. First they bawled me out downstairs while Holly threatened to beat me if I screwed up, then I went upstairs to get changed and Tori came up to give me another earful. What is wrong with these people? The one thing they want me to do, the one thing they _need_ me to do, they go out of their way to make as difficult as fucking possible. These people are idiots. And the galling thing is that _I_ need it just as much as them.

To be fair to Tori (although I can't really see the point other than it gives me something to do), she's obvious terrified of the whole thing - this means a lot to her. So I stuck my game face on and said I wouldn't let her down. That seemed to do the trick, so we went downstairs and set off in the limo like we were on some wierd, fucked-up prom date, while Tori's mom droned on about what a great future we were going to have together and I felt like I was going to puke.

Am I padding this too much, Sal? I guess I just need to get it all out. When I write it up I'll cut the _blah_ and focus on the facts. Anyway we got into the Club and it was pretty much what I expected - a room full of hatchet-faced rich bitches swanning around dressed like morons and a bunch of pretty girls tagging along dressed in pretty much nothing. Me included. I recognized a few of them - Holly was right, there are some serious people involved in this. The place itself was fairly nondescript, there was a bar, and a dancefoor, and a stage, and a whole lot of doors leading off to God knows where. I tried not think about that. Tori was fit to burst, I've never seen her so excited - it was almost cute, if I didn't know that it was at my expense. If I'm honest I was feeling a bit edgy about those doors.

Anyway, I kept looking for a chance to get away and do some digging, but Tori kept me on a pretty tight leash, leading me round, presenting me to the other dommes like we were at Crufts or something, while they all poked and prodded at me and asked me dumb questions about whether I liked it up the ass. One particularly venomous old bag got so graphic, I thought she was going to start drooling on me. I tell you, Sal, when this is over, Holly Vega's not the only one who's going to get a faceful of Jade West. Tori lapped it up, though - I guess this is what it's all about for her, so I did my best to look like I knew my place, even though my place ought to be in the basement of this club with a box of matches and a gas can. She got extra kudos because apparently I used to be her 'bully' – I don't mind saying I was a little bit hurt by that, Sal, I never thought of us like that. I mean, I know I nearly killed her once or twice, but I liked to think we had kind of a _frenemies_ vibe going. There were a lot a questions that were obviously meant to unsettle me, or freak me out - some kind of super-domme in a corset that looked like it was under a hell of a strain just straight up rattled off my bank details and social security number like they were nothing, which would have impressed me if I didn't know that Holly Vega had been rooting through my bag, the nosy old bitch.

Anyway, I finally managed to get away to go to the bathroom, thought maybe I could strike up a conversation, pick up any rumors that were going round, when I got side-swiped by fate. I ran into Cat Valentine, of all people. Cat fucking Valentine. You remember her, Sal? The red-haired one, the only girl I ever knew who got stupider the longer she stayed in high school. She was there, all dressed up like Mistress Barbie, with that sour-faced muppet Hayley Ferguson in tow. God, I could have died. It only got worse when Tori came in looking for me – there must be a Maximum Peeing Time rule I didn't know about – and slapped my ass right in front them. There's humiliation, Sal, but this was _embarrassing._ Tori decided, in her infinite wisdom, that we should all sit down and talk about it, to clear the air, which was the last thing I wanted – I want the air to be as thick as horse shit so no one can see me in this ridiculous outfit - but we sat down in a little booth, and I said all the kind of simpering garbage that Tori likes to hear, and then Holly Vega came over and told us how proud she was that we were being so grown up about it all, and Tori totally thought she was the dog's dick for being so clever. Thankfully there wasn't much time for us to sit there basking in Holly Vega's munificent benevolence because a gong went off and hey-ho, it's Showtime!

I've got to admit, Sal, despite everything, I felt a bit of excitement coming on - I was finally going to get to do something instead of being dragged around like an idiot, and when it turned out we were in competition with Cat and some other pair of douchebags, it only fired me up. You know me, Sal, I like to win, and even if it turned out to be a competition to see who could have the most dildos rammed up their ass while whistling Dixie, then the Dixie Whistling Dildo Award was coming home with _me_.

So we all lined up in couples, domme at the front, sub at the back, and we began. And the task was... a bunch of questions. That's it. Like we're on a Goddamn game show. I half expected the curtain to go back and reveal a family car or a washing machine or something. Looks like tonight's just the meet and greet, 'getting to know you' stage. I should have been relieved, but I felt cheated somehow, now I'd wound myself up for it. Anyway the first questions go to the dommes, and they answer them with exactly the level of vibrancy and imagination I was expecting, i.e. none. I don't know why, but I found myself really willing Tori on when she came up, I know she's not the sharpest tool in the box but she's got a certain charm. Then it was our turn. The subs.

Jesus Christ, it was pathetic. Even for people whose job it was to be submissive, whose whole life revolved around appearing as abject and worthless as possible, the first two made me cringe. They shuffled around, muttering their way through the whole thing like 12-year-olds dragged in front of the class. I couldn't out-sub these two, Sal, not while still having a pulse, so I had to try a different tack - I was going to front it out. So I stood there and looked them right in the eye. I wanted them to know that, okay, I might be Tori's sub, but I certainly wasn't theirs.

It went okay, I guess, I gave as good as I got, fielded a few tricky ones, and then they said - you're a writer, tell us a story...

Forgive me, Sal, I couldn't help it – I brought you up. _A submissive goes missing from the Diamond Club_. Yeah, I went on and threw in some gore and stuff, made it sound like a story, but really I wanted to see if I got a reaction, see if anyone flinched. It was hard to say. A dumpy old broad at the back looked like she might have twitched, but that could have been wind. She didn't look like your type, Sal. I can't imagine you on your knees in front of _that._

It all went a bit quiet after that, and I started to worry that I'd pushed it too far - been too, I don't know, _uppity_. No one likes an uppity sub (although it's fun to say, try it). I couldn't turn round and look at Tori so I just waited until she came to collect me. My heart dropped. She had a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp and I knew I'd screwed it. She led me off into one of little torture chambers on the side, and when I tried to apologize, she hit me. Twice.

It's these little moments I feel, Sal, that really make a relationship. These little, precious moments. And you can bet that I'm keeping a record of them. _All_ of them.

It transpires that she's not beating me for fucking up, she's beating me for _apologizing_ , for having the temerity to assume that because she looks like she's got a nettle up her ass, she's not happy about something. Apparently she was _playing it cool_. There's no wonder I didn't recognize it.

So it's all happy days - she thinks I did okay, yadda yadda, we're good. I think she dislocated my jaw, but we're good. Which is more than could be said for the other two, I heard. And that's through a soundproof wall.

Anyway, we must have caused a bit of a stir, because suddenly Holly Vega's all over us - she even looked at me as though I might, you know, at a push, not be the shit on her shoe. It's funny the things you take pride in, Sal, when your horizons are narrowed. I might not have wanted to be in their stupid club, but if I had to be, I was going to make damned sure that I was the best thing in it.

But then it was over. No chance to look around, we're back in the limo. I guess the best I can say is, I know where it is and I know who goes there - that's got to be worth something. This isn't the end, though, Sal. This is just the opening scene. I've a feeling that things are going to get a lot more down and dirty before I get where I need to be.

Back at the Vega's, I was expecting something pretty heavy, but it seemed I was going to get to spend an entire day without being violated by anything worse than a couple of gin and tonics - Tori was pretty bushed, what with having done practically nothing and all, so we just went to bed. And it was then, Sal, that it happened. She was snuggled up close to me, long brown hair trailed across my chest, making a kind of cute little snoring noise that she does when she's asleep, and...

I kissed her, Sal. Just like that. I know it sounds like nothing, compared to the crazy stuff she's made me do these past few months, but I did it and _I didn't have to_. I kissed her on the forehead, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

I must be going soft, Sal. There is something seriously wrong with me.

Anyway, in the morning we got up, had breakfast and went to the bathroom. She likes me to wash her, Sal, and if I'm honest I don't mind that, it's actually pretty hot. I could see myself doing it, slave or no slave, although it'd be nice if she returned the favor. And then she turned to me and...

...

I'm sorry, Sal. I've _really_ gotta go take another shower.

.

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 **Author's note updated: this story was originally inspired by Quitting Time's _The Real Me._**


	3. Chapter 3 - Ducks and Other Diversions

**A note - Quitting Time is happy for me to continue this story, so if you're interested you should read _The Real Me_ for an alternate perspective on the events so far... **

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 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 36**

I'm back – I can't say it's helped, my skin's getting raw now, and I've drunk more coffee than is good for me. Where was I? Okay, anyway, in the shower she... Jesus, I'm sorry Sal, I can't even bring myself to say it. Right there, in the shower, with me on my knees. Right in my _mouth_. Sweet mother of God. I thought I was going to retch, but I knew that would earn me a whupping so I just had to take it. I don't know if you guys were into that but I tell you, I will _never_ be able to drink enough coffee to get rid of the taste. She looked so pleased with herself, too, like it was a real special moment. But the weird thing is that, afterwards, I couldn't bring myself to hate her for it. I don't know why, It was like...

When I was a kid, I had this old aunt, and one Christmas she gave me this horrible, awful sweater. It had ducks on it Sal, and you know how I feel about ducks, scary, quacky little bastards. But I was only nine years old so I said I liked it, because that was the polite thing to do and I didn't want to hurt the old girl's feelings. Yeah, suck it up, I was a cute kid. Anyway, for ever after that, until the day she died, every Christmas and birthday she'd get me some awful, duck-related present – pajamas, hats, alarm clocks, you name it. And the thing is, I couldn't say anything because I'd let her believe I liked the first one, and the next, and it would have broken her heart to find out that I'd never liked _any_ of them. So there I was, awash with ducks.

And that's what it's like with Tori. She really believes I _like_ it when she does these things to me, that she's doing me a favor, giving me something. And I haven't the heart to break it to her that I don't want it, because it's _my_ fault that she thinks that in the first place. So I just have to keep taking it, and thanking her, and it just keeps getting worse. You know, like with the ducks.

Except, of course, it's not ducks. It's being pissed on. Let's keep things in perspective, people.

I did get a bit of action after that though, so it wasn't all bad, and afterwards she gave me the day off. So I'm going shopping, Sal. There are some things I need.

* * *

 **Jades Diary – Transcript 37**

Who doesn't love a shopping trip? I feel invigorated, alive. I've unpacked my bags and laid everything out on the bed – rope, flashlight, grappling hook, glass-cutters. I've even got a balaclava, I was tempted to get one with ducks on it just for old time's sake, but I stuck with black in the end. I tried it on in the military surplus store, the guy looked at me like I was crazy, but hey, a girl wants to know she looks her best when she's breaking and entering. I got a backpack too, and a hunting knife. The scissors are okay, but you never know when you might need something with a bit more weight behind it.

I know you think I'm being ridiculous, Sal, but I'll feel a whole lot better about everything if I know I've got a Plan B.

I took a drive uptown too, had a look at the building in the daylight. It's a lot older than I thought, which is good. Old means loose windows, not all this hermetically sealed bullshit. Maybe a disused service entrance or an old back door that I can crack open.

Speaking of getting your back door cracked open, I better hide all this stuff before Tori sees it. I can't imagine how that would go down. Maybe I could pretend the balaclava's a gimp mask and all the rope and stuff's a present. I don't want to _know_ what she'd do with the grappling-hook.

I know I'm going on, Sal, but I'm just trying to keep busy, keep my mind off going back to school, because I'm going to have to see Cat. It's not that it'll be humiliating - I'm way past humiliation and accelerating off into another dimension by now - but that I'll have to lie to her. She's the only person that I've ever really been honest with, Sal, except for you. I think it's that she's so shallow that everything you say to her just bounces off, like you're skimming a stone. You never have to worry about her keeping your secrets because she's forgotten them two minutes later. Or maybe it's because _she's_ so honest, you feel bad not reciprocating. I don't know. But either way it's going to be difficult, especially now her and Tori are thick as thieves in the Club – if I upset or pick a fight with _her,_ odds are that _my_ girlfriend will beat me up. Do you see anything wrong with that sentence, Sal? Anyway, I've got some homework to do before then, so I'm just going to sign off and talk to you tomorrow.

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 _I don't know what to do, Sal. I don't know what time it is, it's dark and the numbers on the clock are blurred though the tears, but I guess it's around two. What would you say to me, Sal, if you could see me right now? Would you tell me I was being brave, or clever? That I was doing a good thing? Would you put your arms around me and comfort me like you did that summer, tell me that everything's going to be all right, that you won't let the big girls hurt me anymore? Would you protect me from her? Or would you protect her from_ me _? Would you tell her, Sal? Would you tell her_ why _I can stand the pain?_

 _More and more I'm wondering whether this is right, Sal. Whether I'm wasting my life, wasting hers. Even if I do find the truth, what then? Or maybe there is no truth to find, maybe you're sat in a nightclub in Mexico, never giving me a second thought. Help me, Sal, I have to know. What if I'm hurting her for nothing?_

 _I had the dream again, Sal. We're walking in the woods, hand in hand, kicking up the leaves and laughing, but then it goes dark and I realize it's not you that's laughing it's them and it goes on and on and suddenly I'm so cold and I turn to you but it's not you anymore and all I can see are big sad eyes and long brown hair whipped by the wind and it's her it's her it's Tori and she's looking at me and she's reaching out and she's saying..._


	4. Chapter 4 - An Abuse Of Power

_Taste the whip, in love not given lightly..._

 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 38**

I'm sorry about last night, Sal. I'll go back and delete that stuff when I get chance. It's just that today's going to be a tough one, I've got to face everyone and try to remember I'm lying on two different levels here, got to show - what was that phrase? _The mad agility of compound deceit_.

Okay, that's the last coffee I drink in peace today. Got to go.

* * *

 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 39**

Well, that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I was nervous as hell when I got to school, I felt like everyone was looking at me, and while I'd normally approve of that, this time it was as if I had that damned tattoo on my forehead instead of my butt. Mental note – it's starting to fade, better book a visit to Kim. Tori's dumb but she's not that dumb (why do I feel bad saying that?) Anyway, first things first, I accidentally beat up Robbie.

I say 'accidentally' - I don't really do things accidentally, so it was more kind of deliberate. I mean, I don't mind him as such, I've known him quite a while but ever since he got that puppet he thinks he can say any damned thing he wants to and blame it on 'Rex'. Well, not this time, kiddo. The unfortunate part of it is that as soon as I'd done it I knew it was going to mean trouble, Cat's got a soft spot for him and now it seems I'm beholden to Tori _and_ Cat, I'm probably going to catch it in some way. I don't know what the form is here.

I had a panic attack, so I ran. They found me, eventually, in the corridor, and I was so strung out I called Cat 'Mistress' – God, that was embarrassing. But she was all concern, cooing at me and stroking my arm, and even Tori looked like she gave a crap about me for a moment, although to be honest it felt more like they were trying to soothe a nervous pet before they took it on that final trip to the vet. All that sympathy would have gone down a lot better if I didn't know that they'd both happily see me in agony.

Anyway, Tori decided that me and Cat should have some 'friend' time after school, because nothing could possibly make things worse than having to talk about it for a couple of hours, so we arranged that and Cat left.

Once it was just me and Tori the panic kicked back in, but she was remarkably cool about the whole thing - she understood that I'd be nervous about getting used to my new 'status', and if I had any concerns I should go to her. I've got to say, Sal, that's the first time I've ever known her even acknowledge that this might be weird for me, I felt quite touched. She said we'd discuss it tonight when I go over.

Talking to Cat after school was... enlightening. No wait, that's not it. What's the other word? Disturbing? Horrifying? The thing about Cat is that, mentally, she's about eight years old. Can you imagine being her sub? It reminds me of that story 'It's A Good Life', where the kid has the power to do anything he wants and tortures the entire town for fun. I feel almost grateful I've got Tori, at least she takes it seriously. Whereas Cat, it turns out, is incredible devious but can't differentiate between a human being and a rag doll.

I asked her why Hayley does it. And the thing is, she had no idea. I don't mean she was being modest, or that she thought it was a mystery - I mean she didn't even understand the question. She went off again, gleefully explaining _how_ she'd done it, how she'd manipulated Hayley, separated her from her friends, lead her on and finally 'captured' her, but it honestly never occurred to her to think that Hayley might have made a choice. Or even that Hayley should have _had_ a choice.

Tori was like this at the Club, when she was talking to the other dommes. I think she really believes her own bullshit, that somehow she _enslaved_ me - roped me like a wild horse, broke me to the whip, turned me into a pet. She's pretty fucking proud of herself for it, too. I sometimes wonder if you were right, Sal...

It broke my heart when you told me you were a sub, Sal. When I saw you again the next year and you told me you were into this new thing. It hurt. After what had happened, I couldn't believe you could do that – you were so strong, so independent. I looked up to you. But you just laughed at me. You could never be a domme, you said, and you tried to make me understand...

 _All dominants are the same_ , you said. _But every submissive is different_.

The doms are all about technique. They train, they learn how to use the whip, how to tie the knots, how to restrain without injuring. They learn a bit of basic psychology, and they think they're masters of the universe. They get their kicks from control, but then so does every fifth grade bully. Essentially, they're technicians, handlers, there to provide the pleasure and pain. You said you used to treat yours as an exercise machine, Sal, getting the workout out you wanted by judging how late to turn up when she called you over. I remember laughing when you said you'd stay for another soda because you wanted to set her on 'high' for the evening.

But the subs... Every sub is a sub for their own reason. Some are just about the pleasure, they want to get into the _zone_. Some are just about the pain – those are the ones with the fire in their eyes, the dangerous ones. You... you were all about the discipline, like you were training yourself, making yourself hard - I always wondered why you never joined the Army instead, Sal, you could be running the place now. And some subs - a few - are about _atonement..._

Which one would I be, do you think, Sal, if this were real?

So the doms are about power, and they vary only by degree - but some are cleverer than others, and _they_ understand the secret...

The doms _have_ no power. The power comes from the subs.

The subs are giving a gift, and the smarter doms know it. Maybe even Holly Vega knows it. But Cat and Tori - they don't, they've got it all the wrong way round. In _their_ eyes, they get what they want, and in return they reward us, like they're training a dog. But that's not how it is. It's the subs who are getting what _they_ want, and in return they give the _doms_ a reward - the illusion of power. The chance to be King for a day. To pretend they have control. A control they could never hope to achieve in the real world. They don't train us. We train _them_. That's why you couldn't be one of them, Sal. Because you wanted control.

What really worries me, Sal, is that the Club is there for the ones like Tori – there to reinforce their delusions, make them think it's real, make the _subs_ think it's real. That's why Holly told me the Club could be good for my career – she couldn't give a fuck about my career, but she wants me to feel involved. _Invested_. Because that way it's harder to leave. It makes it less appealing to pull on the leash when the whole weight of the Club is pinning down the other end.

Do you see why I worry about you, Sal? Do you see why I wonder what happened to you there?

Anyway, I've digressed now, and I can't remember where I was... Oh crap, I know where I should be, I should be at Tori's in ten minutes. Got to dash, Sal. I'm almost looking forward to it.

* * *

 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 40**

Do you remember what I said earlier, about how reasonable she was being? Yeah, not so much. I'm having to walk around while I do this, Sal, I can't sit down. She crossed a line tonight, the line between the real world and the shadow world – we've moved from _You're my sub, and I can punish you if you break my rules_ , to _You're my sub, and I can punish you for any damned thing I like_. I gave her my 'gift', and that's what she did with it. She's crossed that line, Sal, and God knows where it goes from here.

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But the funny thing is, I think I've crossed a line too.

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 **Any love for this? Should I carry on? Let me know. Things will happen soon, I promise - there'll be mystery, catharsis, redemption, you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll wonder if there's anything good on Netflix...**

 **Oh, and of course there will be Jori**.


	5. Chapter 5 - Forcing Her Hand

_._

 _._

 _._

 _She crossed a line, and so did I. I could have stopped her, I_ should _have stopped her - for the first time I had a legitimate right to object. I've known Robbie longer than she has, he was my friend before hers, what happened was between me and him. Outside of all this. She had no right to punish me. But I let her do it anyway._

 _She let the real world into the shadow world, and I let the shadow world into mine._

 _Because I needed it. And when she touched me afterwards, I was on fire. I think I know what this is all about, Sal, and it terrifies me. I don't want that. I want this to be about you, and me, and doing something good for once - something right. I don't want it to be about what happened out there. Please, God, don't let it be about that._

 _Don't let it be about Echo Lake._

 _._

 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 41**

School today - I apologized to Robbie, not that he deserves it, and everything seems a lot calmer now. I'm not going to see much of Tori this week, it seems, she's all antsy about some interview for the Club. Got to prepare. Honestly, Sal, if she put half the effort that she puts into this into, well, anything else, she could actually _be_ someone by now - she not a bad singer, she writes some good songs, she's pretty, she can dance - well, kind of. Anyway I can hardly complain, I've got some preparation to do myself - I've got a big audition on Sunday, a call-back for a horror movie, probably the biggest break I'm ever going to get. Plus I'll get to catch up on some school work, relax and maybe hang out with... okay, I haven't got anyone to hang out with anymore, so it's just me and you, Sal. But you know, could be worse. It's not going to last, though, we're having a 'sleep-over' on Saturday, and you can bet it's not the kind where you watch a movie and eat pizza in your pajamas. I'm not totally dreading it, weirdly.

* * *

 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 42**

You saved a life today, Sal. Even if no one else ever remembers you, never knows what you did for me, I want you to know that. You saved a life. Because if it wasn't for you, if it wasn't for what I'm doing, Tori Vega would be dead by now.

I'm not kidding, Sal, that's not hyperbole. Tori Vega would be dead by now and I'd be sitting in a cell. Hell, I'd even have let her stupid dad take me in, if he wasn't too busy being tied up with his own handcuffs. Do you know what she did, Sal? Do you know what she did?

She ball-gagged me and tied me to the bed. And then she left me there.

For _four fucking hours._

For _four hours_ , Sal, while she went out to lunch with Cat.

And then she forgot about me.

I have never been so mad, Sal. Never. I can't believe I was so stupid as to let her do it in the first place, so stupid as to trust her to care what happened to me - the woman's insane, she's not fit to look after a stuffed parrot, never mind another human being. Anyway, I'd almost choked to death on my own saliva before she came crashing in, all flapping and hysterical, to untie me. Turns out she'd been shopping for shoes.

Is that what my life's worth, Sal? A pair of shoes? I'd missed my audition, too, so you can chalk my career up on the list of things I'm going to lose before I'm done. I swear to God, Sal, if I hadn't had to keep this going, there would have been blood.

But I do have to keep it going, don't I? Can you imagine how much it burned, Sal, how bitter the word _'_ _Mistress'_ tasted when I told her she had the right to do that? She kept trying to apologize, and I just couldn't let her. I couldn't bear to see her stand there, all whiney and pathetic, couldn't face the sight of exactly what it was that I was supposed to be submissive to. Eventually I told her that to apologize would diminish her authority as a domme.

That shut her up. If there's one thing she cares about more than anything else, it's being respected as a domme. Never mind that it was probably the single most ridiculous thing I've ever said - I'm pretty sure she'd already 'diminished her authority as a domme' by being such a dangerous lunatic in the first place - she swallowed it and shut up. She asked me if I'd stay, and I told her I'd stay if she commanded it, but by then she wasn't really in a position to command _anything,_ so I left.

I caused a lot of damage on the way home, Sal. A _lot_. I'll be surprised if there aren't reports of a tornado on the news tomorrow.

* * *

 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 43**

She tried to apologize again today. All day she was moping around, looking at me with those big, sad eyes, looking like a lost little girl. I couldn't stand it, Sal. I couldn't stand it because... all I wanted to do was touch her, hold her, tell her it was all going to be all right. I wanted to _comfort_ her. And I can't do that, Sal. If I start down that road, I'm lost.

Eventually she collared me in the janitor's closet – I don't mean literally, Sal – and started saying she was sorry. It went on and on, I thought I was going to crack - it was the nearest she's ever come to breaking me, strangely enough. In the end I had to _goad_ her into getting angry with me, pushing her twisted logic back in her face, until finally she came to her senses and slapped me.

We didn't speak for the rest of the day, and I felt _horrible_. I mean, I _am_ horrible, apparently, just ask anyone, but this was different – I felt like I'd let her down, like I was missing something, some key part of what's going on. She looked genuinely heartbroken, and I don't understand why – I'm still doing what she wants, I've let her get away with it, why is she even _trying_ to apologize? All I could hear was this little voice at the back of my mind, saying, _she's probably crying now, and it's all your fault_. And I guess it is, in a way – I'm the one who started this, I'm the one leading her on, giving her enough rope, but I don't _want_ that, Sal. I don't want to make her cry.

I don't know where to go from here, Sal. Maybe she'll break it off, maybe I'm too much trouble. In a way that would be a relief - I've tried my best, I should just let it go. Would you want me to do that, Sal? Would you let me stop this, now? Would you ever let _me_ go? Maybe I could find another way, I've still got the grappling-hook and the balaclava, I could go down there tonight and-

Oh, God, she's here, Sal. My mom just shouted up. _Your girlfriend's here._ Got to go.

She's here.

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She's gone.

And...

I'm shattered, Sal. I don't know what to say. She wants to call it off – not the whole thing, just 'that side' of it, while we work on our relationship. Our _relationship_ , Sal? What relationship? But that's what she said. She's willing to drop the whole thing - the discipline, the 'lifestyle', the Club membership, everything.

For me.

It's me she wants, Sal. _Me_. After all this, it turns out she wants me. She wants us to start again. She even wants to take me out on a date, for Christ's sake. And the thing is, Sal, I don't know what to do. Because somewhere inside me, right around about the place where my heart used to be, I _want_ this. I _want_ to go on a date with her. I want to go to the movies, and laugh and throw popcorn at each other. I want to hug her and give her my coat while we walk home in the dark.

I want _her_.

But I can't have her, can I, Sal? Because of what we have to do. Because of the road we've chosen. But...

Please, Sal, I'm tired. I'm _so_ tired. Does it _have_ to be this way?

You saved her life yesterday, Sal. Today, you could save mine.

 _Let me go._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 **Many thanks to those who have reviewed so far - we're rapidly approaching the point where we're going to veer of into uncharted territory and find out about Sal, so stay tuned...**


	6. Chapter 6 - The Date

**Many thanks to those of you who reviewed and said you wanted to see some more of this - we're still tracking 'The Real Me' at this point, we're on our first 'date'...**

.

 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 42**

I'm going to do it, Sal. I'm going to let her take me on a date. Come on, Sal, I mean, why not? She wants to make it up to me, she wants to earn back my trust, and we can't do this without trust. You never know, I might be able to learn something useful from this Tori, the nice one – the one who thinks of me as an actual person. She might open up to me.

And why _shouldn't_ I go on a date, Sal? Why shouldn't I go out and enjoy myself for once? Don't I deserve that? To at least _pretend_ that someone loves me, even if it's her? And I'm not going to make it easy for her, I promise. Come on, Sal. _Please?_

* * *

"So, _Tori_ ," Jade said, widening her eyes for emphasis as she leaned forward and rested her chin on her interlocked fingers. "Tell me about yourself."

They were sat either side of a table, in a restaurant which was a couple of breadsticks short of the nice restaurant that Tori had _wanted_ to go to, but which Jade's Circle Jerks T-shirt had precluded.

Tori looked slightly confused. "What do you mean?"

"This is our first date," said Jade. "Traditionally, this is the bit where we lie like crazy until we think we might get another."

Tori rolled her eyes. "It's hardly our first time, is it?"

"No, but then our _first_ time just consisted of you hitting me and sticking things in me. It wasn't really what I'd call a date, as such."

"Well, no but-"

"I mean, maybe that's the way it works for _you_ ," Jade went on. "Maybe that constitutes a romantic evening for two as far as you're concerned."

"Jade!"

"Hey, you're the one making it up to me. I told you, you're not my favorite person right now."

"Okay. I'm sorry."

"So?"

"So what?"

"So, tell me about yourself."

Tori sighed. "Um, okay. My name is Tori Vega, I'm a student at Hollywood Arts. I live at home with my mom and dad and my sister, and I love singing and acting, and I hope to be a famous pop star someday."

"Interesting." Jade waited until their waiter moved into earshot. "And of course you're heavily into bondage, so there's that." She heard the waiter's tray hit the floor. "Are you okay, Vega?" she said, after a moment. "You've gone a funny color."

Tori glared at her over the top of a napkin, as she wiped away the water that had exploded out of her nose. "Don't _do_ that!"

"Sorry." Jade said, radiating unconcern. She waited to see whether there was a smile hidden behind the napkin. There wasn't. "Are you mad with me?"

"I... No." Jade could tell that this was taking an enormous effort on the other girl's part, this kind of behaviour would have earned her a spanking by now. "Ok, your turn."

"My turn?"

"To tell me about yourself."

"Okay, ah..." Jade thought for a moment. "Well, my name's Jade West, I also go to Hollywood Arts, I live at home with my mom and dad, and," she smiled, sadly, "I used to have a promising acting career."

"Jade!"

"What?"

"I..." Tori's shoulders sagged and Jade knew she'd won the point. "Okay, I guess I deserved that."

"Yes you did."

"Look, Jade," Tori said. "I'm _trying_. This is hard for me to get used to, you know, just sitting here, letting you talk to me like... But I'm going to do it. I'm going to earn your trust back, I really am. I love you. I know I made a mistake and I want to show you I can recognise that, and then, maybe, you know, when you trust me and you're ready-"

"You know what the worst part was?"

" -we can... Oh." Tori bit her lip. "While you were...?"

"Mm-hm."

"Well, I-"

"It wasn't just the laying there, watching my career slip away. It was knowing that you'd _forgotten_ about me. That my life, my total devotion to you, my sacrificing _everything_ to serve you was so... unimportant, so _trivial_ to you that you literally forgot I existed."

"Jade..."

"Actually, no, the worst part was when I nearly choked to death. But the forgetting thing came a close second."

"I'm _sorry_ ," Tori said, in despair. "I'm so sorry. I _said_ I made a mistake."

Jade gazed at her for a moment. "Yeah. Well, that's the thing about our 'relationship', isn't it, Tori?" she said, coldly. "It doesn't matter _who_ screws up, it's always _me_ that gets hurt."

"It'll never happen again."

"No, it won't."

They ate in silence for a moment. Eventually, Tori pointed to Jade's wrist. "I... like your bracelet," she said. "I've never seen it before." Jade looked down.

"It was a present," she said, quietly. "From a friend."

"A friend," said Tori, "or, you know, a... 'friend' friend?"

"Both."

"Oh."

"Long time ago."

"I see." Tori looked like she wanted to press it, but said nothing. Jade laid her fork carefully on the table. "Tori," she said, "can I ask you something?"

Tori blinked in surprise as though this was the last thing she'd expected. "Um, sure."

"If I told you I didn't want to do this anymore," Jade said, carefully. "What would you say?"

* * *

 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 43**

It was fun, Sal, it was nice. Not just the fact that I got to take a couple of pot-shots at her when she couldn't fight back, but it was just...

Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to two different people. There's the whip-fixated, ridiculous, overblown Mistress Tori, with her stern looks and her stilted diction, the one who feels like she's reading from a textbook on bondage 101. And then there's the one I saw tonight, the one I always thought of as the real Tori – the slightly dorky, self-conscious, funny little Tori, the one who squirts her drink out of her nose when she laughs, the one with the bright eyes and the sad smile. The beautiful one.

The problem is, Sal, that we _need_ the first, but I want the second.

When I asked her what she'd say if I told her that I didn't want to go back to being a sub, she hesitated - as though there was a _right_ answer and a _true_ answer. There was the answer that said, _okay, if that's what you want, I'll give it all up for you_ , and there was... the other answer. Which of those is true and which is right, I couldn't tell you, Sal, but I can say this – I could almost sense Holly Vega over her shoulder, whispering in her ear, telling her what to do.

I feel like I'm fighting a war on two fronts, now, Sal, and we all know where that goes. I've _got_ to get into the Club, which means eventually I'll have to give in and go back to her on my knees. But at the same time I feel like I'm fighting _for_ her – as if I'm locked in a battle with Holly, fighting to get Tori out from under her influence, bring her back into the light where I can see the real her and she can see the real me.

I'm fighting a battle for the soul of Tori Vega. And I don't know if I can win.

Because we created her, Holly and I. Holly started her down this road, but I'm the real culprit – I'm an _enabler_ , Sal. I feel like I'm smuggling vodka to an alcoholic. I'm just making her worse, because I _need_ her to be worse. I know that now. I've got to make it right in the end, Sal, because otherwise it will destroy us both. I've got to bring her out with me. I can't leave her in there when I'm done.

 **End of Transcript**

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 _...hold her arm..._

 _...can't do this. It's too soon, she's not ready..._

 _...dangerous. We have to..._

 _...what if... oh God..._

 _...what? What's happening..._

 _...have checked her records..._

 _...she's starting to..._

 _...what have you done..._

 _... this wasn't supposed to..._

 _...a lockdown, get the medic..._

 _... I was just trying to..._

 _...the medic, Holly, get the fucking_ medic _..._


	7. Chapter 7 - Not What They Seem

_So I'll dance..._

 _The night away..._

 _A million dreams..._

 _A million scars..._

 _._

 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 44**

I don't want to go back there, Sal. I really don't. It creeps me out. There's something not right about the whole place, it's just so... _grim_. So joyless. This isn't the way you described things to me, Sal. You made it sound exciting, dangerous, in the end you almost made me want to try it. But this, this makes me want to stick my head under the covers and weep for humanity.

Partly, it's the dommes. It's like they really believe that the subs are some kind of underclass, a different species - the Eloi to their Morlocks, beautiful but essentially cattle. The way they see it, you're either born to serve, or born to rule - then again, maybe it's just that they're all rich and powerful, and the rich and powerful think like that anyway. But the thing that bothers me most is the subs.

There's something wrong with the subs.

I couldn't put my finger on it at first, Sal, but when I got to the Club I expected there'd be some kind of, I don't know, _camaraderie_ between them. Some kind of bond. Some sense of _we're all in this together_. But there wasn't. At first I put it down to nerves, this might be the first time they've been 'exposed' in public, but us new girls were the only ones who even spoke to each other, the rest... I mean, I know it's their job to be docile, but they're supposed to be there for fun, I would have expected a little bit of banter when they're alone, a bit of a giggle about whose domme has the biggest ass, or whose mistress got their nipples caught in the hoist the other day - you know the sort of thing, Sal, the stuff you used to tell me. But there was _nothing_. They were like ghosts. Near the end of the night, I used the bathroom at the back of the Club - it's pretty much _subs-only_ by the state of it, it's filthy and I suspect that's deliberate - and there were a few girls in there. I said _Hi_ , and all I got were these blank stares, like they couldn't really focus on me - like _I_ wasn't there. Then they all filed out past me without a word, just the jingle of their leashes, and all I was left with was the trickle of a leaking tap, and somewhere, from one of the stall, the sound of crying.

That's the sound of the Diamond Club, Sal. The sound of tears.

I _really_ don't want to go back there.

* * *

 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 45**

I'm going to go back there.

We're still dating. Can you believe that, Sal? _Dating_. Like it's real. And God help me, I wish it was. I wish I could just forget about all this, just let it be me and her, and dinner, and movies, and running though the rain to the taxi cab, laughing and dancing, just being ourselves. But at the back of my mind...

The dreams are getting worse, Sal. I thought when things got easier I'd start to sleep better, but I don't. Every night it's the same - the darkness, the laughter - and she's always there, trying to tell me something that I can never hear.

In a couple of weeks she's going to have to decide whether to withdraw her application. Holly's expecting her to have me back on the leash by then and I know it's worrying her. You know those clocks where the case is made of glass so you can the workings inside? Tori's face is like that, you can practically see what she's thinking just from the way her eyebrows move.

I wonder if she really wants it. I wonder if maybe I can't see through the glass, and somewhere inside she's scheming away, working out how much of this to give me before she makes her move, or if - just maybe - she feels the way _I_ do.

The thing is, it's not just going to the Club, we have to come up with a performance, a skit. Put out of your mind, Sal, any jolly, light-hearted connotations of the word _'skit'_ you might have, because it's not going to be like that. It's a demonstration of control, of how she handles me. I can do it, no problem - I've been doing for months now. But if she's uneasy about anything, anything at all, she'll go to pieces. I don't know what to do.

* * *

 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 46**

I'm a genius, Sal. A gold-plated, certified, bona fide genius.

We're going to fake it. I don't just mean me, Sal, I mean me and Tori, we're _both_ going to fake it. What do you think of that? I told her it was the only way to keep her application on track while we worked on our relationship, which means I can string it out so she doesn't feel like we're ready to go back to the real horror show, but at the same time I get a chance to have another look around the Club. So Tori's an ex-domme pretending to be a real domme, and I'm... whatever I am, now, pretending to be an ex-sub pretending to be a real one. _Compound deceit_ , indeed. With any luck we can keep this up until we've got our membership.

 _Our_ membership?

Anyway, I'm kind of looking forward to it - it's been a while since we've done something like this together, we were in plays and shows at school before all this started - and now she knows she'll be acting, it takes the pressure off. She's left it to me to come up with something, and I've got the perfect idea. Something to sum up our relationship so far.

Nineteen Eighty-Four.

 _Imagine a boot stamping on a human face. Forever._

 _._

Yeah, Sal. Imagine that.

* * *

 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 47**

We've started rehearsals, and I've got to say, Sal, I'm loving it. It's been so long since I've had anything real to do, any control over anything, that I feel almost giddy. Plus I get to order her around because it's my show. That feels good.

We work well together, too. I'd forgotten how well our voices complement each other. And she's a better dancer than I remember, so that helps. This is going to blow them away. I can't imagine the sad, tatty affair the others are going to come up with, they'll probably end up with something like Tori originally planned, an idea which, I dutifully refrained from telling her at the time, sucked ass big time.

I wonder if we'd gone ahead with that and failed, would that have been _my_ fault, or hers? I've puzzled over this - where does obedience end and responsibility start? I mean, _theoretically_ , if I were a sub, should I look out for my domme even if it means contradicting her and being punished, or should I shut my mouth and let her screw up? Should I give her what she _wants_ , or what she _needs_? My guess is that either way I'd get it in the ass so it's more a question of degree than anything.

I've told Tori that on no account can she tell her mom what's going on. I don't want her in on this, I don't want her mom to think that I'm devious, or clever, or cunning - I want her to think I'm just a dim-witted little girl that she can manipulate how she likes. So I told her, _no Holly_. Under _any_ circumstances. That's absolute, that's a deal-breaker. If Holly gets wind of this, I'm just _not going to do it_ , and she can watch her membership burn.

* * *

 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 48**

She told her mom. Brilliant.

I'm going to go and lie down, now, Sal. I feel a headache coming on. But I tell you this, if Tori Vega ever ends up in Room 101, she'll soon find out what the worst thing in the world is.

It's _me_.

 **End of Transcript**

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 _...why can't we..._

 _...she's a minor, for Christ's sake..._

 _...any background checks..._

 _...so now what..._

 _...she knows about..._

 _...can't just do that..._

 _...this is your fault, Holly, your responsibility..._

 _...I'll deal with it..._


	8. Chapter 8 - Entertaining The Morlocks

**Well, here we are again, we're rapidly catching up to 'The Real Me' - many thanks again to Quitting Time for letting me borrow the story. If you're still interested in this, please review and let me know...**

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"Hey, Kim."

"Hey, _'Tori's Slut'_. That time again."

"Guess so."

"Jump up, I won't be a minute." Jade climbed onto the table while Kim finished washing her hands. "So, how's it going with the 'mistress'?"

Jade made herself comfortable. "It's... okay, I guess."

"Like that, huh? Listen, you want to me to put an extra _'a'_ in there, no charge?"

"What?"

"You know, 'Tori's a-"

"No! No, it's okay. It's not like that."

"You sure? I can make it look like a rosebud or something. A lot of girls do that."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Kim grinned. "They trail in here like they're fit to burst the first time they get 'marked', then a couple of months later, when their domme's pissed 'em off, they're back in here to get a little mod, you know, a little payback. The domme's never notice, 'cause they never notice any damn thing if it's not about them. If you don't want the _'a'_ , I can always turn the _'i'_ into a dick, what do you think?"

Jade laughed. "I think I'll just go with it as it is. I'm not trying to get back at her. I kind of like her."

"Really?"

"Yeah. She's nice."

"Hmm."

"Anyway, why are you so down on them? I thought you were a member?"

"I am, but it's not our scene, you know?" Kim talked as she worked. "All that wandering around like you're at a cocktail party or something, with your girl on a bit of string, talking about them as if they're a piece of crap. It's humiliating."

"I thought that was the point?"

"Maybe it is for those guys. Me and Trix, we go to a place over the other side of town now. A lot more... _down and dirty_ , if you know what I mean. More action, less talking." She chuckled. "You should take Miss Fancy-Pants over there, that'd be an eye-opener for her."

"I'll bet it would. So if you don't like the Club," Jade said, "how come you're a member?"

"Used to be different then. More like an actual club, you know? Then all these rich bitches came in and kind of took it over, made it all about the _rules_."

"You're not kidding."

"Yeah. A lot of the old crowd left," she went on, "said they couldn't stand the smell. And then there were all the rumors."

"The rumors?"

"Yeah. Nothing for sure, but... all I can say is that the Club's got a pretty bad rep with the other clubs, you know? They don't think it's safe." Kim stood back to admire her work. "Okay, you're done."

"What? Oh, thanks." Jade stood up and pulled her clothes back into place. "Kim," she said, "did you ever know a girl called Sally Easterbrook?"

Kim thought for a moment. "No, doesn't ring a bell," she said. "Friend of yours?"

"Just... just someone I'm trying to find. I think she was a member at the Club."

"Oh. Well, good luck with that. If I hear anything I'll let you know."

"Thanks, Kim."

"And Jade?"

"Mm?"

"Just... be careful in there, okay?"

"I will. See you next month."

* * *

 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 49**

We went to the carnival today. She took me to the _carnival_. We had ice-cream, and went on the rides, and I was so happy for a while, Sal, just doing normal stuff. Why can't I have these things for real, Sal? why does my life have to be a fake? All those people there, this was the highlight of their week, something to look forward to, not the prelude to some god-awful nightmare in a darkened room. I remember feeling like this the time I had my hair done - I knew I'd screwed up and all I could do was sit in the park, waiting until it was time, watching all these people rushing home from work, happy, looking forward to spending the evening with their loved ones and knowing that I was the only one, Sal. Out of all these people, I was the _only_ one. No one else was going to go home so that the woman they love, the woman who's supposed to love _them_ , could drag them by the ear to the bed and beat them until they cry for having their hair cut. Is that any kind of life, Sal?

I won her a stuffed rabbit on one of the stalls, and she was so _pleased_ , so excited, like a little girl. And I knew that she was going take it home, and think of a name for it, and give it pride of place on her bedside table, and it almost broke my heart, Sal. Because I knew that the next time _I_ saw this rabbit, I'd be looking up at it in absolute fucking agony, and it would stare down at me with a silent shame, and we'd both know that it meant more to her than I did, that she'd take better care with this damned rabbit than she ever would with me.

What is it about me, Sal, that makes people want to hurt me? Why do people see me and think they can do any damned thing they like with me, as if somehow I deserve it because I try to stand up for myself? I know that's half the thrill for her, turning the tables on me like I was some kind of holy terror, like I made her life a misery, but I _didn't_ \- all I ever wanted was a little respect. Is that so much to ask?

And now look at me.

Sorry, Sal, I'm just feeling sorry for myself. My dad's _got_ to start locking the liquor cabinet.

* * *

 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 50**

It's the performance tonight, Sal, and I've got a weird feeling in the bottom of my stomach - I'm not sure whether I'm excited or nervous, or whether it's just the thought of going back to that awful place. I've only been once, and yet it feels like I've been there forever. I'm looking at myself in the mirror, wearing my outfit. I look kind of hot, I guess, kind of okay, _sexy_ even...

Who am I kidding, Sal? I look like a hooker. Okay, time to head on over to the Vega's, see if Tori's having a panic attack. Catch you later.

* * *

 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 51**

Well I'm back. That was one weird evening.

I got over there and Tori's all flap and panic, while Holly's just staring at me like I've wazzed in her handbag - I think she thought that I was going to blow the whole thing and make them look like idiots in front of their 'peers'. I would have dearly loved to do that, Sal, you have no idea how much. Well, to Holly, I guess, I wouldn't want Tori to look stupid, not when... Anyway, I sucked up to Holly a bit, gave her some claptrap about wanting to do it for Tori, wanting to mend the bridges between us, how I couldn't bear it if she failed, and eventually she went _hmm_ and lifted up my chin with her finger like she was inspecting me for boogers or something. Never have I wanted to bite back as much as I did then.

We headed off to the Club. There was a big crowd tonight, more than last time, so I thought maybe word got around about our amazing performance, but really they were just keen to see some fresh flesh getting worked over. So it's _head down, nod, smile, nod, smile, look like a half-wit, nod, smile_. Thankfully it didn't take long before the show started.

We started with Kyla and Amy, and they were... average. I kind of knew they would be, they're practically the definition of average. It was just the sort of thing Tori had in mind, basic obedience training - it shocks me Sal, that I've reached the point where I can say that in relation to a human being and not gag - and while it was competent, _do this, do that, roll over, good girl_ , it wasn't going to set the world alight. A light smatter of applause, I think the phrase is.

Next up was Cat and Hayley.

Words fail me, Sal. I can't even begin to describe it to you. I mean, I know you've got a hell of an imagination, but you just couldn't... it wouldn't fit in your brain, Sal. I may never be able to forget it. I'm certainly going to try. There was Cat as the ringmaster, and fluffy toys, and whips, and Hayley dressed up like... and she was juggling these... and then she stuck one up her... If you want to get a feeling for what a travesty it was, what an affront to human dignity, I'll tell you this - I felt sorry for Hayley. _I_ felt sorry for _Hayley Ferguson_. No one, no one, ever, should have to go through their life knowing they once did that. Although she's not a bad juggler, I'll give her that.

Then it's us. We get ready, and a few minutes later the curtain swings back on a cold opening - the interrogation scene from _Nineteen Eighty-Four_. Tori's playing Winston Smith, prone on the table, and I'm O'Brian stood over her.

I must admit I was a little bit nervous about this - O'Brian's probably some kind of folk-hero to these guys, but it was too late now. We're away. We'd rehearsed this little opening - I rough Tori up a bit, get things going.

I slapped her. For real.

Not too hard - I didn't really want to _hurt_ her, but hard enough so that she knew I'd done it on purpose. You should have seen the look on her face. Everything up to now was almost worth it to see that. Not to mention the kick I got out of doing in front of a whole club full of dommes, that was electric.

We didn't give them too much time to react in case they set the dogs on me for this heinous act of rebellion, so I started into the speech, you know the one, Sal, just ripped straight out of the book - _imagine a boot_ , and all that. We're dressed in kind of party overalls at this point. Then Tori comes back at me.

I'd given this speech a lot of thought, Sal. I wanted to say something, even if it was only to myself.

She tells me that although I think I crave power, what I really crave is _submission_ \- that I need the discipline of the Party because I'm weak. That's why I worship Big Brother - and why, when she stands up to me in the end, I'll crumble and fall at her feet. I need to submit to something more powerful than myself.

Anyway, I try to resist, there's some to-ing and fro-ing while we sing the song, then we whip off our overalls and finally I fall to the ground, overwhelmed by her dominance, and she places her foot on my face. Silence for a beat, then...

Cheers. _Applause_. We've nailed it. We've totally nailed it. Even this bunch of ganks can appreciate a good show. I tell you Sal, it would have brought a tear to my eye, if it hadn't had Tori Vega's stiletto heel in it.

We went backstage and she gave me some stick for the slap, but, hey, she couldn't do anything about it, and she was too pleased to be really mad. I hugged her, feeling her skin against mine, and for a moment we were both on the same page, lost in the moment and it was all I could do not to kiss her, not to push her up against the costume wardrobe and...

Sorry, Sal. Anyway, the collar came back on and we went for a wander to meet our adoring public. Three of them came over, I can't remember what they were all called, but one of them was the sort of Deborah who makes a big point of not being called 'Debbie'. They started talking - not to me, obviously - and guess what? Tori gave me _credit_. She told them it was all my idea. I could have kissed her. Again.

They came down on her like a ton of bricks - the very idea that she'd let me have an opinion or make a decision was obviously an outrageous show of weakness on her part, and they were all ready to tear her to pieces. Genuinely, Sal, this is how they behave. But Tori stuck to her guns, bless her, and told them that it would be crazy of her not to take advantage of my talents, although of course she'd had to approve everything. _Debbie_ was smarter than the rest, and she seemed to get it, although I could see her casting her eye over my other 'talents' while she was talking. They asked how we came up with the idea, and Tori told them what _I'd_ told her - that it was the story of how she captured me, how I thought I was the dominant one but all the time I was begging to submit, craving her discipline, and they lapped it up.

And it took everything I had not to laugh, Sal. Because what I said in the speech was true - O'Brian _does_ think he's in control, but in reality he's already a slave to the Party, to Big Brother. But the thing is...

I'm not O'Brian. I'm _Winston_.

 _Tori_ is O'Brian. And the Club is Big Brother.

And of course, in the end O'Brian's wrong. You can't stop the world turning, with you at the top. You can't break the cycle. _The Party always falls..._

This is the thing, Sal. With people like this, you can rub the irony right in their faces and they'll never see it, because they're blinded by their own superiority.

So all in all a triumphant start to the evening - we've blown away the judges, chastened the bullies and Tori's acting all jealous because ol' Debbie's giving me the glad-eye. Everything's hunky-dory.

And then it all went to shit.

They decided to have a contest. You can guess the kind of thing, Sal. The new dommes sat on chairs at one end of the room, we stood at the other end, and when the whistle blew, we had to get over there, kneel down between their legs and... well, you know what I'm saying. Anyway, it's a race. Now, weird as it sounds, this didn't really bother me. You know me, Sal, I like a challenge, and I'm practically an unpaid whore as it is, plus Tori's made me do it in front of her mom so the crowd didn't really bother me. But Tori...

 _Mistress_ Tori wouldn't have any problem with this, you know, but Mistress Tori's not here. This is just _Tori_ , little, fluffy bunny-loving Tori, and we haven't done anything like this since we split - the thought of getting it on for the first time in public had her crapping herself. But I thought, hell, I've done this a thousand times, and I'm pretty good. I'll just have to make it work.

Then it turned out we were going to have to do it blindfolded. They'd call for us and we'd have to find our way over there, pick the right domme, and get busy. Blindfolded. Still no problem, I can do this.

 _I can do this._

And then they put the blindfold on.

I couldn't help it, Sal. I tried. I tried not to think about it, tried _so_ hard not to think about it as they held me steady and put the blindfold on, and the crowd started baying and chanting and jeering and I couldn't see anything and...

And then it happened, Sal. I'm so sorry.

I was back _there_.

Back at Echo Lake.

I was back at the Lake, and they put the bag over my head and I couldn't _breathe_ and I couldn't _see_ and they were laughing and I didn't understand and all I could think of was _why won't it stop why won't it stop why won't it stop..._

 _._

 _._

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Jesus, I'm sorry, Sal. I don't know if I can go on.

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 **End of Transcript**


	9. Chapter 9 - So Close And Yet So Far

**Well, we've finally caught up with the decision point – does Jade submit to Tori, or not? Do we continue to follow 'The Real Me' wherever that may take us, or do we go off-road and find out about Sal and Echo Lake?**

 **Maybe I'll leave it up to you – please review and let me know. Both paths will, of course, bring us back to the infamous Diamond Club...**

 **Many thanks to Quitting Time for suggesting one of the plot points revealed here, and of course, for the story itself.**

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 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 52**

 _And I hide under blankets..._

 _But did I run away?_

 _I really can't remember..._

 _Last time I saw the light of day..._

 _But I remember Sal, 'cause she was like me..._

I know that's not how it goes, Sal, but that's the way it sounds in my head. I'm sorry about last night, things have been... difficult for me. I haven't been able to face updating this for a couple of days but I owe it to you to let you know where we are.

I got things under control eventually, and we finished the 'contest' - we came in last, Tori kept twitching and squirming, and I didn't exactly cover myself in glory, although that was probably the only thing I wasn't covered in by the time we finished. The ride home was pretty subdued, it's hard to say whether she blames me or herself. I'm fairly sure I know where Holly's money is, though.

I can't even begin to tell you how depressed I am at the thought of what's coming up next time. I'm going to be used like a piece of meat from what I've heard, and I just don't know if I've got the _strength_. Surely there's got to be a better way, Sal? Plan B is sounding more and more appealing, even if I do end up in jail.

Tori's making a real effort to fix things between us, and it just makes things worse. She's even asked Cat to stop calling me _'Jadey'_. I wonder if she ever wonders _why_ I don't like that, why it hurts so much? Probably not. Anyway, she's arranged something for us this weekend - she won't tell me what, but I think we're going away. She sound pretty excited - it had better not be some god-awful bondage convention, because if it is, Sal, your life-saving award is going to get revoked.

* * *

 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 53**

I don't know where to start with this, Sal. I'm parked at a gas-station off the interstate, and I don't know what to do, what to say. Where I _am_. She's going to be so hurt, Sal, so...

She took me to a little hotel for the weekend, real nice, executive suite, jacuzzi, the works. It was beautiful. Just me and her, spending time together, like... well, like lovers, I guess. We fooled around in the hot tub. We talked over dinner like adults. She bought me flowers. I know, Sal, you don't have to keep reminding me - I know this is all a scheme to get me back where I belong. But it felt so real. And later she washed me in the shower, like she used to make me do for her, and I felt like a fucking _princess_ , like I was special, and it's been so long since anyone made me feel that, Sal. So long.

Anyway, then she said she'd got me a present. A gift. So we sat on the bed and she pulled out this little box, and inside this box were seven poker chips and a piece of card.

The chips, she tells me, would represent days off. Any time I wanted a day to myself, any time I wanted to be free from her, I could cash in a chip. And when I'm on my 'day off', she'd have no control. I could do whatever I liked, I could tell her to go to hell, I could have _'Tori's a Bitch'_ tattooed on my forehead if I wanted, and she wouldn't do a thing about it then - _or afterwards_. That made me feel kind of lightheaded. Then I looked at the card.

 _Two plus two equals five._

I don't know if you recognize that, Sal, it's from the skit - O'Brian says that if the Party says two plus two equals five, then it must be true. But of course, it can't be true, because otherwise the world would fall apart. So the Party is so convinced of its own authority that it thinks it can change reality. It's a reminder of the madness caused by unchecked power.

She tells me this is my safe word.

That's clever, Sal. That's really clever. And I'm sure it was her own idea too, I can't see Holly ever thinking like that. And she went further - it wouldn't just be for when we're in the middle of a session, it'd be for _anytime_. Any time I think she's gone too far, any time she forgets the reality of who I am, any time she forgets that she can only do what she does because I _let her_.

That's... that's a powerful gift, Sal. Coming from her, that's the biggest sacrifice she could ever make. Freedom. Armed with those two things, I could make it practically impossible for her to do anything to me, and she must _know_ that, but that's what she gave me. That's what she trusts me with.

I could have said yes, right there and then, Sal. I nearly did. I mean, it wouldn't be such a bad life, would it? A little humiliation in exchange for having her? Maybe it could work. And maybe she could make the dreams go away, in time. Maybe it's what I _need_.

But then...

She offered me the whip.

She stripped, lay on the bed, and offered me the whip.

I couldn't have done it if I'd tried, Sal, but that wasn't what stopped me. It was... The thing is, I hardly ever see her in that position because of our, you know, _situation_ , and as I looked at her there...

She's _cheating_ on me, Sal. Cheating on me in the worst way _possible_.

I felt sick. Physically sick. How could she do that to me? And who with? It couldn't be someone from the Club - they'd never let her in if they knew. But who else was there?

I couldn't believe it. Everything I knew about her said it _couldn't_ be true, Sal. But there it was. Across her back.

Three red stripes.

From a whip.

I can't... I just...

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I don't know if you can hear me over the engine, Sal, but I'm driving now, driving like a fucking lunatic, I've got to get back there, back to the hotel before it's too late. I was wrong. This isn't about being a sub, or about being a sub's sub, this isn't about the _game_ \- this is about _her_. God, I've been so stupid, if she goes back there _without me_...

I've got to stop her. I've got to say _yes_.

I've got to get to her before Holly does.

Christ, the _rain_... I can't see anything, and even if the wipers worked they wouldn't shift the tears. I knew it couldn't be true, Sal, I knew, and now... Oh fuck, I'm going too fast, I've missed the turning... no wait, there it is, _shit_ , I've got to cut in before _ohgod no no nononononono..._

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 **End of Transcript**

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	10. Chapter 10 - Crash And Burn

**Many thanks to those who are sticking with it, I appreciate your reviews. So here we go - it's been all doom and gloom about Jade so far, so let's take a look at the object of her ire – let's have a little look at Tori. And Trina's here, yay!**

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 _I'm very disappointed in you._

 _I'm sorry, it wasn't my fault..._

 _You know what this means._

 _But I tried, I really tried-_

 _In the basement, now._

 _No, please don't, please..._

 _Now._

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Tori sat alone and disconsolate on the sofa, her back upright to ease the pressure. She wiped her eyes again. It just wasn't fair. _None_ of it was fair. Why couldn't they just... She was saved from her misery by the entry of Trina, although 'saved' wasn't the way she would have put it.

"Hey, Sis." Trina looked around. "No Mom?"

"She's out."

"And by the looks of it, no Jade either."

"No."

Trina pulled a sympathetic face. "Didn't go well at the hotel, then?"

Tori stared at her shoes. "I _tried_ ," she said, wretchedly. "I offered her days off, and a safeword, and-"

Her sister looked stunned. "You guys didn't even have a safeword?"

"Mom said we didn't need one."

"Damn it, Tori," she said, "how many times have I got to tell you? Don't _listen_ to her. If you want advice on this stuff, you come to me."

"But you're a-"

"Say it and I'll break your arm. I'm not 'a' anything. Me and Danny, we do what we do, when we want, and that's it."

"So you guys have a safeword?"

Trina rolled her eyes. "Of course we do. It's one of the first things we ever talked about. It's 'shoes'."

"Shoes?"

Yeah. As in, if I ever have to say it, he has to buy me a pair."

Tori smiled, despite herself. "And what did Mom say?"

"Who gives a crap what Mom says? It's not Mom's ass in the firing line, is it? Jade should have insisted, but obviously she didn't."

"I never gave her the chance."

Trina stared at her for a moment. "You're my little sister, Tori," she said, "and I love you dearly. But sometimes you're a total dumbass."

"What do you mean?"

"Look, if Jade had wanted a safeword, you'd have had one by now."

"Why?"

"Because she's way smarter than you are. If she'd wanted a safeword, she'd have found a way to make you give her one."

Tori looked confused. "So why didn't she?"

Trina shrugged. "I dunno," she said. "Maybe she thinks she's so hard-assed she doesn't need one. Maybe she thinks it's a sign of weakness. Maybe her butt's made out of titanium. Who knows why Jade West does anything? I mean, just the fact you guys were together doesn't make any sense."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tori said. "I think we make a great couple." She sniffed again. " _Made_ a great couple."

Trina scoffed, unsympathetically. "Yeah, right. So, what, it never seemed strange to you?" she said. "You click your fingers and two hours later she's round here on her knees? That never struck you as, I don't know, pretty fucking unlikely?"

" _Trina!_ I don't know, I thought it was because..."

"You thought it was because what? You enslaved her with your dominating personality? That's Mom talking. I hate to break it to you, Sis, but that's not how it works. And even if it was, you're about as 'dominant' as a piece of wet string. No," she carried on, over Tori's protests, "if Jade's doing this, you can bet it's because she wants something."

"Like what?"

"I don't _know_ ," Trina said, exasperated. "But if you want her back, you'd better find out what it is. Where is she?"

"I don't know. She just freaked out and left me at the hotel. She's not answering her phone."

"And that's your best shot, is it? You gave her a call?"

"What else am I supposed to do? She _left_ me."

Trina sighed. "Do you actually love her?" she said.

"Of course I do!"

"I mean, do you actually love _her_? Not just the _idea_ of her, not just having her run around after your scrawny ass. _Her_."

"I..." Tori had a vision of Jade on her knees, looking up at her with the sadness in her eyes that always showed when she knew what was coming, and felt slightly sick. "Yes," she whispered.

"Then get round to her place. I'm sure she's just..." A breeze blew through the room. "Oh, hey, Dad."

David Vega stood in the doorway, looking uncomfortable, and Tori felt her face go cold.

"Dad?" she said, "Is everything okay?"

"I'm sorry, Tori, it's..."

"Dad?"

.

" _Dad?"_

"There's been an accident."

.

.

.

.

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 _Jadey?_

 _Sal? Is that you?_

 _I'm here, Jadey. I'm close._

 _I missed you, Sal. I needed you. Where did you go?_

 _I had to go away._

 _Are you coming back?_

 _...Yes._

 _When?_

 _Soon, baby, I'll be with you very soon._

 _._

 _I'm coming home._

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Jade drifted in and out of consciousness until finally she washed up in the shallows. Instinctively, she kept her eyes shut while she listened to the sounds around her, trying to place herself. A regular beep and the far off rattle of stainless steel told her she was back in the hospital. Great. Over to one side she could hear talking, her mother's petulant questioning and her father's stony answers. She took a long slow breath and shut her eyes tighter. _If I just pretend to be dead_ , she thought, _maybe they'll all go away_. She didn't remember coming here, not this time - one moment she'd been with Tori - oh God, _Tori_ \- the next she'd been on the Interstate in the rain, and then... the sound of voices moved away and grew fainter, and she drifted away again, troubled by something she couldn't quite recall.

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Tori arrived at the hospital to find Jade's parents arguing outside her room, and she felt a sudden sense of shame as she wondered if they knew where Jade had been before the accident, wondered if they were looking at _her_ , knowing what sort of life she'd been trying to persuade their daughter to go back to, what she did to their little girl in the darkness. They showed no sign of animosity towards her, though, and seemed grateful that she was there, if only to give them chance to take a break from having to be in the same room as each other.

"I'm sure she'd love to see you when she wakes up," her mother said. "If you need me, this is my number."

"You're leaving?"

"Just a break. We've been here since last night."

"But-"

"Just go on in, dear. We'll be back later."

Tori wandered into the room to find Jade laying on the bed, asleep, her face blank and untroubled as she breathed steadily. Occasionally, a slight frown passed across it, as though she were dreaming. She moved closer. Jade looked so small in here, so fragile. So innocent. Where had she been going? Her dad had said she was heading east, back towards the hotel. Had she been coming back to apologize? Why had she run in first place? She remembered Trina - w _ho knows why Jade West does anything?_ She glanced across to the bedside chair, where the clothes she'd been wearing when she came in were folded neatly. On top of them was a small silver device on a lanyard.

It looked like an MP3 player, and Tori was curious. Her parents couldn't have brought in, so it must have come in with her, probably around her neck. She wondered what Jade had been listening to, and felt a pang of guilt that she didn't know – ever since they'd started this, they'd listened to what Tori wanted, because she was in charge and it pleased her to make the point. She assumed it would be some terrible Gothic drone.

She picked it up carefully, feeling like an intruder, like she was spying on some private moment. Jade had been listening to this when she was - what? leaving her? Coming back to her? She had to know. There were no headphones, but she had her own, so she unwound them and plugged them in. Peering at the tiny buttons on the side, she pressed one marked 'Replay', and started to listen.

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 _... it's her it's her it's Tori and she's looking at me and she's reaching out and she's saying..._

Jade awoke again, with a start. A figure was sitting on the edge of her bed in the fading light, long brown hair shadowing its face, and for a moment she thought...

"Jade."

She struggled to sit up. "Tori," she croaked. Her mouth tasted like ash and metal.

"You're awake." Tori's voice was distant.

"Yeah, I... there was a crash, and, I mean, I'm okay, I think, but..." Something about Tori's silence told her that the last thing she was going to get was sympathy. "I'm so sorry," she managed, finally.

"Sorry?"

"About the hotel," she said. "I don't know what happened, I just... flipped out. I don't know why, I didn't mean to leave you like that, you know, when you asked me, I wanted to say-"

"It doesn't matter now."

She still couldn't see Tori's face, but the slight shrug of the shoulder led her attention downwards to what was in her hand, and Jade felt her world turn to ice. In Tori's hand was the small, silver voice recorder. She looked up, and now she could see Tori's eyes, blazing from behind the curtain of her hair.

"Do you have any idea," Tori said, bitterly, "how much I hate you right now?"

Jade tried to speak, but nothing came out. She lay there, mutely, bathed in the cold fire of Tori's anger. Eventually, Tori dropped the recorder back onto the bed and walked towards the door, looking back only as she reached it, as if in answer to an unasked question. "I just came to see if you were all right," she said, quietly. "Goodbye, Jade."

Jade sank back onto the pillow as she watched the door close, and stared at the ceiling until finally, at long last, the tears came.

And when they did, in loud, ugly sobs, then so did the nurses, and the doctors, and finally her Mom and Dad, and everybody but Jade West rejoiced that she was still alive.

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	11. Chapter 11 - Confrontation

**Hello, and welcome back to the story that critics have dubbed 'an abomination'. Shall we carry on? Of course we shall. Please feel free to review, it's the oil that keeps the wheels turning...**

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 _Now._

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 _She kneels before the long mirror, as she's been told._

 _Candle to the left, sad Cybele to the right._

 _._

 _Oh, Cybele... The mirror is old, and the wounds run deep._

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 **Jade's Diary - Transcript 54**

Hi, Sal. I know it's been a couple of days but I'm home now. What to say? I've been in the hospital. I wrapped the car, hit a barrier on the Interstate - I guess I'm lucky to be alive, but it doesn't feel that way. I feel weird even talking to you like this, it feels wrong because...

She came to see me while I was knocked out. She was _worried_ about me. Can you believe that? Even after I left her, after I ran out on her. She was worried about me. And you know what her reward was, Sal, for that little act of kindness?

 _This_. She found this. I don't even know how much she listened to, and I can't bring myself to play it back, to hear what _she_ must have heard. She was so _angry_ , Sal, so... I know I've been a bit of a shit in my time, Sal, and I understand why people don't like me, but I've never hurt someone so badly, so _deeply_ , as this.

So it's over, Sal. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad with me. Maybe when I get my strength back I'll dig out the balaclava and grappling-hook, but for now...

Hold on, Sal, my mom's shouting up. Someone's here. They've probably got me a shrink, or something - they've been kind of weird around me since I came home, I think they're wondering whether I... well, you know. Again. I'd better sign off, I don't want them to think I'm crazy, that I'm talking to my-

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Tori stood in the doorway. She glared at Jade for a moment, then walked past her to where the voice recorder sat by the bed. She picked it up and turned, fixing her with big, dark eyes.

"Why?" she said, in a voice like a razorblade.

Jade swallowed. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't really cut it, Jade. Sorry isn't _good enough_."

"Look, I know you're disappointed about the Club, but-"

"I don't give a rat's _ass_ about the Club, Jade. This is about _you_. You deliberately led me on, ruined my life, and now you're going to tell me why. Tell me the truth. Who the hell is Sally?"

"I can't tell you."

"I'm not leaving this room until you do."

Jade stared at her feet and said nothing.

"Do you have any idea," Tori said, furiously, "what it was like to hear this? Any idea what it was like to hear you say these things about me and my family? Do you? To hear you talk about me as if I'm some kind of _monster_?"

"It wasn't like that!"

"Of course it was like that! I've listened to your own voice telling me exactly how 'like that' it was!" She pressed a button at random, and Jade stood helpless, listening to her own words - _She's weak, Sal, that's the irony of it. Pathetic..._

"If I recall," said Tori, bitterly, "that's just before the bit where you fantasize about leaving me beaten on the floor."

"That was just... I was drunk, and-"

"It goes on like that for hours!" Tori shouted. "You used me, Jade. How could you do that? What had I ever done to you?"

" _What?_ " Jade was stung. "Are you serious? You started this!"

"I did not!"

"Yes you did! You slapped my ass and told me I was begging for 'discipline'!"

"Because my... I thought that was what you _wanted_."

"It had nothing to do with what _I_ wanted. You never gave a crap about what I wanted. It was all about you, and what _you_ wanted. You and your _mom_."

"Don't you bring my mom into this!"

"Me? I'm not the one bringing her into this. What kind of a girl let's her mom dictate her sex life anyway? You even let her stand there while we were doing it!"

"That was a mistake! I didn't know she was there!"

"Didn't bother you, though, did it? I'm surprised you didn't get me to do her as well."

"Jade!"

"Well honestly, Tori, you don't think there's something wrong with that? If my mom came home and told me she was into necrophilia, I wouldn't be straight down the graveyard digging up a corpse."

"I bet you would."

"Well maybe, but not for that reason."

"And it's hardly the same thing."

"I know, but I was struggling to think of something so bad even _you_ wouldn't do it. The point is, it shouldn't be anything to _do_ with her. I wouldn't care if her advice made any sense, but it took six months before you even gave me a safeword after your little stunt, and I'll bet that wasn't even her idea."

"She was the one that bawled me out for leaving you on the bed in the first place!"

"Well whoop-de-fucking-doo. 'Don't kill your girlfriend, darling, it's not nice'. She shouldn't have to tell you that stuff, Tori, it's common sense."

"Well if you're so smart, why didn't you say anything? It's easy to be clever after the fact."

"I had a ball-gag in!"

"Bullshit."

" _Vega!_ "

"I'll tell you why. It's because you _wanted_ me to do it, so you could store it up in your little box of bile and use it to beat me up over later. I'm not a mind-reader, you know. I can only judge what I'm doing by your reactions to it, and if you lie there like a prize chump and _let_ me do it, how am I supposed to know it's wrong?"

"I wasn't aware you were canvassing my opinion! I didn't know what the rules were, you weren't playing the game the way I'd heard about it. I thought we'd talk about stuff, you know, _beforehand_ , I thought I'd get asked for consent. But it was all or nothing with you guys, wasn't it? I mean you didn't even ask me if I wanted to go to the Club, which was pretty rough considering I was going to have to see Cat and Hayley, for God's sake."

"I didn't know they'd be there!"

"But your _mom_ did, didn't she? she knew perfectly well that they were going to be there, that I was going to be paraded half-naked on a leash in front of people I knew. And she didn't care. She wanted me to be humiliated, because that suited you two. She didn't tell you to ask me for my 'consent', because she knew damned well I wouldn't give it. So she just threatened me instead. And you let her."

"That was just-"

"She _threatened_ me, Tori. She threatened to hurt me right in front of you, and you did _nothing_. You sat back and let her do it. The one thing I should have expected of you, the _only_ responsibility you had, was to protect me. And you couldn't even do that. You let her treat me like I belonged to her. So 'safe, sane and consensual' my ass. _You're_ not safe, _she's_ not sane, and _none_ of it was consensual."

"But it was though, wasn't it?" Tori said, hotly. "You didn't have to do this, did you? You didn't have to do any of it. You could have just walked away, but you didn't. Because Trina was right."

"What the fuck has it got to do with Trina?"

"Trina said you were doing this for a reason, and now I know it's true."

"What do you mean?"

"I've listened to every word of this," Tori said, grimly, and shook the recorder in Jade's face. "Every damned _word_. And this isn't just about me and you, is it? Beside all the bitterness and hate and anger, this is about something else. _Someone_ else. And if you ever, _ever_ , want to see me or speak to me again, you're going to tell me what it is." She sat down heavily on the bed, exhausted by her own anger.

"Tell me about Sal, Jade," she said, quietly. "Tell me about Echo Lake."

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 _She kneels before the mirror, as she's been taught._

 _Candle to the left, sad Cybele to the right._

 _._

 _Oh, sweet Cybele..._

 _._

 _The mirror holds its secrets, but the tears run free._


	12. Chapter 12 - The Truth

**Well, here we are, we're going to find out something about Echo Lake.**

 **Just as a note, Jade's motivation here is not unknown.**

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 _I'm standing on the shore, and I can see them, hair floating like tendrils in the current, faces turned up towards the sky..._

 _I can see them, open-mouthed but silent._

 _How could you..._

 _I can see them. I can see them in the water._

 _._

 _Dear God, Sal, what have you done?_

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"No."

"I see." Tori walked to the door and silently slid the bolt across.

Jade watched her. "You do realize," she said, "that bolting it on the inside isn't going to make any difference?"

"It's symbolic."

"Oh."

"We can't leave it like this, Jade."

"Maybe this is the best place to leave it."

"No it isn't," Tori insisted. "Why won't you tell me? I already know what you've done. Don't you think you at least owe it to me to tell me _why_?"

"I-"

"You made me think you _loved_ me. And now I find out it's all a lie, that you don't love me, that you were just using me, like everyone else."

"Tori-"

"Tell me it wasn't for nothing, Jade. Tell me why."

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"It was a couple of years back," Jade said. "I'd had a... Something bad happened that summer. Things were difficult for me, and I didn't really have anyone to talk to. And then I met Sally. I don't know where she came from, she was just hanging out in the tattoo place, but we got talking, and... I don't know, we just clicked. And so we spent the rest of the summer together, just doing stuff, fooling around. We were totally inseparable. She turned the worst summer into the happiest time of my life."

"Were you lovers?" Tori asked, quietly.

"It wasn't really like that," Jade said, with a sad little smile. "We were just so... _close_. Closer than you can imagine. Closer than any two people could be. We always knew what the other was thinking, we laughed at all the same stuff, we were inside each other's heads. And she was so pretty, and smart, and funny, and... All I wanted, every minute of every day, was to be with her."

Tori bit her lip, and tried not to feel jealous. "So what happened?"

"She had to go away. At the end of the summer." Tears were slowly filling Jade's eyes and her voice started to tighten. "I don't know why. But I cried, Tori. I cried so much because I didn't feel _whole_ without her." She sighed and picked at a thread on her skirt. "But I couldn't tell her. She was so strong, I didn't want her to see me like that. So I just said goodbye, and she went."

"I'm sorry. And then?"

"I don't know how much of the recording you listened to..."

"All of it," Tori said. "Right to very end. That's why I'm still here."

"Then you'll know what happened next. I saw her again the next year, and it was like we'd never been apart. She told me was into this new thing - you know, _your_ thing - and she made it sound like it was great, you know? Even after... We talked and laughed about it, and then one weekend she was all excited because she going to this new place called the Diamond Club, very elite, very classy. _Jesus_. Anyway, I said goodbye and off she went that Saturday night."

"And what happened?"

"She never came _back_ , Tori. I never saw her again. It was like she'd just... vanished. I asked around, and no one had ever heard of her, and I realized I knew practically nothing about her - I think her parents were in New York, but she'd never mentioned them, and I didn't know where she'd been staying. She was just gone. And there was nothing I could do."

"Do you think something happened to her in there?"

"I don't know!" Jade cried in frustration. "Maybe _nothing_ happened. Maybe she just hated it and went back East. Maybe she never went at all and ran away. I just don't know. But I had to find out, Tori, for my own sanity. I _owed_ it to her."

"So you used me to try to find her."

"Yes. I'm sorry."

"How did you even know I'd go there?"

"I went through your bag."

"You did _what_?"

"I used to do it all the time, your locker doesn't close properly. Anyway, there was this card in there with the logo on it, and I remembered the Diamond Club."

"So you thought you'd hook up with me, and pretend to be my sub for six months hoping that I could get you in there? That was the idea?"

"That's about it, yeah."

"I see," Tori said, nodding quietly. "You know what would have been a better idea?"

"What?"

"Absolutely fucking _anything!_ " she exploded. "That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard!"

"But-"

"Why would you go through all that?" she said. "What if we'd never gone? What if it wasn't even the right club? What if the 'Diamond Club' was my mom's knitting circle? How long were you going to keep it up?"

Jade shrugged miserably, and looked away.

"Why, in God's name, didn't you just _ask_ me, if you thought I knew about it?"

"Yeah, right," Jade scoffed. "And you'd have told me, would you? _'Why, yes, Jade, I am a budding dominatrix, why do you ask?'_ I don't think so."

"I don't talk like that!" Tori said, crossly. "Anyway, I prefer 'domme'."

"Whatever. But you're hardly likely to share your deepest, dirtiest little secret with someone you hate, are you?"

Tori looked shocked. "I don't hate you."

"You did in the hospital."

"That's different. I was - _am_ \- mad with you for lying to me, but I never hated you. Why would I have wanted to be with you if I hated you?"

"I don't know. Sex? Revenge? Enslaving your 'bully'?"

"Jeez, Jade, I didn't really mean that stuff, you know. That's just the kind of thing my mom likes me to say."

"So you don't think of me as your bully?"

"No! I always thought we were... friends. Kind of."

"Really?" Jade's voice was so small and uncertain that Tori unconsciously slipped her hand over the other girl's.

" _Yes_. And the thing is, if you'd come to me before all this and asked me for help, then I would have done everything I could. You know, for a friend."

Jade was silent. And eventually Tori understood.

"It isn't just about that, though, is it?" she said, softly. It's not just about what happened to Sally. It's about what happened _before_."

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Tori Vega stood alone in the kitchen, staring at a vase of flowers on the table. This vase had existed, these flowers had been _alive_ , in a world where everything made sense, where she'd had a loving girlfriend, and a sure and promising future at the Diamond Club. A world she knew. And these flowers were still here, untouched, but in a world that had changed, where everything she thought she knew was wrong. These flowers had crossed that divide, that tumultuous, shattering upheaval, without a blemish. Without a dropped petal, without a single ripple in the water. She wondered if they would even smell the same, and hoped for a moment that they wouldn't, that somewhere in their bouquet she'd be able to detect a change, some physical record of the last few hours in which Jade West had turned her life inside out.

 _I was fifteen,_ Jade had said. _There was a summer camp._

She closed her eyes and reopened them. The flowers were still there. But they had no right to be. No right to stand there uncorrupted, not after this. She snatched them from the vase and threw them in the garbage.

 _Not even a summer camp, really, just a camping trip. Six girls and a teacher. I was the youngest. I didn't really want to go, but my dad thought it would be good for me. Character-building._

 _He'll never know how right he was._

She opened a cupboard and took down a bottle of wine. She looked at it for a moment and then replaced it. Something stronger, perhaps.

 _He bought me a new rucksack and boots. He knew I was worried, so he hugged me - he hardly ever does that - and gave me a little brass compass that had belonged to my grandfather. Told me to keep it safe and sound, because then I'd always be able to find my way home._

 _So off we went, the seven of us, to Echo Lake._

She pulled out her father's quart bottle of bourbon, and unscrewed the cap.

 _We pitched a tent near the woods, the teacher had a cabin further down the lake. She was drunk most of the time, so we never really saw her. It was just me and them. They were all older than me, and they knew each other. I didn't want them to pick on me, so I thought the best thing to do was to stick up for myself, show them a bit of spirit - maybe they'd respect me, you know, maybe even_ like _me. Maybe I could be one of the gang._

Her hand was unsteady as she reached for the glass, and she brought it down hard on the counter, almost hoping it might shatter.

 _They tortured me._

Her eyes closed, and she felt the bile rising. She poured a measure and drank it quickly. The sour liquid burned her throat.

 _I don't mean they pulled my hair, or wazzed in my purse, or called me names, although they did all those things. I mean they tortured me. They took me out into the woods, they stripped me bare and tied me to a tree, and they tortured me. Like an animal. With sticks, and rocks, and broken bottles, and..._

 _It went on for hours._

 _I thought I was going to die. I_ wanted _to die. I've never felt so much pain in my life. Do you know how I lost my virginity, Tori? Do you want to know what I lost it to? They put a bag over my head so they wouldn't mark my face, so no one would be able to tell, and I screamed and screamed and screamed, but all I could hear, the only echo, was... laughter._

 _They laughed at me, Tori. They laughed at my agony, like it meant nothing, like_ I _meant nothing, just an object, a thing for them to play with._

 _At least you never laughed at me._

She glanced up at the clock, the time not really registering.

 _Then later, when they'd had their fun, they took me back to the tent, and they made me... thank them. Do you understand? I guess you do. And afterwards, when they'd all finished with me, they pushed me out of the tent, into the night._

She reached up and brought down a second glass.

 _I couldn't go anywhere, Tori, I couldn't run away - I was terrified of the dark. All I could do was just curl up there, crying on the ground, until morning._

 _And the next day, they did it again. And the next._

 _Every day for two weeks, Tori. Every single_ day _._

 _I couldn't go anywhere, I couldn't do anything. They took my boots, my phone. They even broke my dad's little compass. And I couldn't go to the teacher, because somehow I knew it could always get worse. You'd be surprised, Tori, how creative teenage girls can be when it comes to pain._

 _Well, maybe_ you _wouldn't._

Tori felt the churning in the pit of her stomach, and wondered if she was going to throw up again.

 _On the last night, when I thought it was nearly over, they didn't bring me back to the tent. They left me there. In the woods, tied to the tree. Alone. Helpless. And it started to get darker and darker, and... I was so scared, Tori, so_ frightened _. I could hear animal noises in the trees, and it felt like the woods were coming alive, coming for me. And then I heard it._

 _The chanting. All around me. Coming from the trees, coming on the wind. And then the laughter._

 _They'd come back, Tori. They'd come back for one last time._

 _I blacked out. I don't remember anything after that. They must have carried me back afterwards and dressed me because when I woke up in the morning, when the guides came to pick us up, I was back in the tent._

 _When I came home, my dad was so... disappointed. All my stuff was ruined, and I had to tell him that it was_ my _fault, that I'd had an accident, that I'd been careless with the things that he gave me, because I just couldn't tell him. I just couldn't tell him what had happened, because I was so ashamed, so stupidly ashamed of what I'd let them do to me, of how I'd been so weak, how I hadn't been able to stand up to them and stop them from breaking the things that he cared about._

 _The new rucksack. The little brass compass._

 _His daughter._

She took down a second glass.

 _Two weeks later, I tried to kill myself. I won't bore you with the details, suffice to say it didn't work, but I'd have tried again, and again, until it did._

 _And then I met Sal._

 _And she fixed me, Tori. Or at least enough of me to carry on, to keep on living. To have hope. And then she was gone._

 _I had to find her, Tori. She saved my life._

She refilled both glasses. It was nearly time. She'd changed the sheets, and lit fresh candles.

 _How could you bear to do it like this, Jade?_ she'd asked, the tears rolling down her face _. How could you let me do those things to you after what happened?_

 _Because I_ needed _it, Tori. I needed you to do those things. Because every time you hurt me, every time you punished me, it took away a little bit of what they did. It took away their pain, their power, their control, and gave it to you. Until eventually it was_ all _yours, eventually all my pain belonged to you. That's what I wanted._

 _But why?_

There was a knock at the door. She moved slowly to answer it.

 _Because I could_ stop _you, Tori. I could stop you in a way that I couldn't stop them. Do you understand? I needed this, I needed to go back there, back to the woods, back to the agony, but this time it would be different, this time_ I'd _be the one in control. I needed you to hurt me, Tori, I needed you to drive me so hard, make it so unbearable, that in the end I could just turn round and say '_ No' _._

Jade stood in the doorway, her face drawn and pale. Tori handed her the glass.

 _But you never did._

 _No._

 _You never pushed me that far._

In return Jade handed her the whip, and followed her silently up the stairs.

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	13. Chapter 13 - Catharsis

**Well, here we are again. We've found out part of the secret of Echo Lake, but I'm afraid you're going to have to wait a while before we get to Sal, that's endgame. I hope you're not finding this too heavy going, we're going to lighten up a bit now - please review and let me know what you think...**

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 _...and it's her it's her it's Tori and she's looking at me and she's reaching out and she's saying..._

 _...I can save you._

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Afterwards, when it was done, they sat silently on the bed, side by side in the fading light. It was Tori who broke first, her body starting to shake as the adrenaline ebbed away, her sobs muffled as she pressed her face hard into her knees. Jade slipped her arm across her back, fingers running through her hair, not knowing what to say, and then she was gone too.

And they stayed there, unmoving, for what seemed like eternity, until slowly Tori lifted her head as Jade lowered hers, and their faces brushed, tears intermingling, lips finding lips in soft, damp kisses. Gently, Jade laid the other girl out across the bed, and took her to another place, away from the chains and restraints, away from the slavery of dominance, away from what she _demanded_ towards what she _needed_. And finally they came together, for the first time - bodies held tight, cheek pressed to cheek, passing slowly through ecstasy into oblivion.

.

 _I think I've broken her, Sal. I needed her to break me, and I broke her instead._

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Tori awoke, basking in the confusion of sleep for a few moments before she became aware of the body beside her, and then she felt her stomach contract at the memory of the night before. Jade was asleep on her front, her back still tacked to the covers with the traces of last night's assault, and Tori felt a wave of guilt. How could she have done that? How could she have gone that far? But then Jade had asked her to do it, begged her. It had taken almost an hour, almost an hour until Tori's eyes were so washed with tears that she could barely see what she was doing and Jade's back was just a blur of black and red, and then, finally...

She touched the side of her face. She knew Jade hadn't meant to do it, the look in her eyes when she flew off the bed towards her told her that the real Jade had been somewhere else entirely, that Tori hadn't existed for her at that moment. But in a way she'd almost welcomed it, almost wanted Jade to destroy her, to just allow herself to be subsumed into their mutual pain, to share in Jade's catharsis, knowing that her own might never come. And yet, in a way, it had. Afterwards. She slipped out of the bed and pulled on her dressing gown.

Downstairs she was surprised to see her mom, not because her mom's appearance in the kitchen was unusual, but because she was surprised to see anyone, surprised that anyone existed outside the universe she'd found herself in over the last twenty-four hours.

"Hi, Honey," Holly said, smiling broadly. "So... good news?"

Tori stared blankly at her.

"You and Jade? Back on track by the, um... _sounds_ of it?" He mom wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. Tori blinked twice, slowly, as she realized that as far as her mom was concerned, this was exactly what she was supposed to be doing, that last night's trauma was just business as usual for her. "We're... working things through," she muttered, pushing past her to the fridge and retrieving a couple of bottles of soda. She had no idea whether Jade would want one, but the thought of waiting in the kitchen for coffee with a woman who, in all likelihood, had listened to what happened upstairs with a cup of cocoa and a sense of smug satisfaction, was too much for her. She retreated up the stairs.

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 _I went to her, I went to her and I let her do what she does best, but this time I let her go too far. I_ made _her go too far, so that I could go there with her. Riding the wave, past all the limits, all the boundaries, all the thresholds, past everything I've ever known, until the pain exploded with the light of a million suns and every nerve was ablaze and I was flying, flying across the tops of the trees, flying until I could see the little girl down there in the woods, the stupid, scared little girl with the sack over her head, wondering why the pain never stops..._

 _And I came to her, came down like an angel, falling, faster and faster, howling through the trees until I was there with her, inside her, holding her so tightly that we could never be apart again. And together we rose up and we sent them away, together we took back control, together we broke the ropes and we ripped off the filthy sack and we looked them in the face and we made them see us as we really are..._

 _._

 _._

 _._

Jade awoke, in a bubble of light-headed clarity. She tried to move and the covers slipped off with a sticky, tearing sound. She winced and pushed her head back into the pillow. She heard the door open and caught a whiff of fresh coffee. She turned onto her side. "Hey, lover," she said. "Is that coffee I can smell? Man, what I wouldn't give for a nice hot-"

"Here." Tori pushed the bottle at her.

"-bottle of freezing cold orange soda. Um, thanks."

Tori sat heavily on the bed. Jade bit her lip, uncertainly. "Are you okay?" she asked. "If this is about..."

"No," Tori said, with a sigh. "Well, it kind of is."

"I know it wasn't what we were expecting, but-"

"It's not that," Tori said. "It's my mom."

"What about her?"

"She's downstairs."

"And that's bad because..."

"She thinks we're back together."

"Oh." Jade picked at the bedsheet. "And are we?" she said, quietly.

"What?"

"I mean, you know, after last night, I thought maybe..."

"Oh, _Jade_..."

"But I guess not."

"Look," said Tori. "I don't know how I feel about last night, about you and me. I still can't quite believe any of that happened. I always thought I loved you," she said. "Until now."

Jade stared at her bottle, crestfallen. "I see," she said. She made to get up. "Look, maybe I'd better go-"

"No, wait," Tori said, turning to her. "I'm sorry. I don't mean it like that. I mean... Trina was right. She said that I only loved the _idea_ of you, of having you as my slave, and I thought she was wrong, you know, I thought it was real. But now..." She sighed. "Now I know it wasn't. Because last night, when you told me about what happened, and we did what we did, I... I saw the _real_ you, and I know that what I felt before was _nothing_ compared to this. And now I'm terrified, because I don't know whether I can cope with it. I don't know what's going to happen with us."

"Then _find out_ , Tori," Jade said. She touched the other girl's arm, gently. "Find out with me."

"I don't know, I want to, but... would they even _let_ us?"

"Who?"

"My mom. The family. The Club. When my mom wants to know if we're back together, it's sure as hell not because she's concerned about my happiness. It's because she wants to know if we're 'together', as in, _going to the Club_ , together."

"Oh." Jade thought for a moment, and then said, carefully, "We could be. If you wanted to."

Tori looked horrified. "Do you really think I'd want to go back to that, after last night?"

"Maybe not," said Jade. "But don't you want to be part of the Club? It could still be good for your career, and it's obviously what your mom wants."

"I don't know. But even if it was the greatest club in the world," Tori said, "I don't want to go back to that life."

"We don't have to."

"What do you mean?"

"Well... how about this?" Jade took a deep breath. "We _fake_ it."

"Jade..."

"Hear me out," she said. "We faked it once, for the skit, remember? What's to say we can't do it again?"

Tori hesitated, as she rolled the idea around in her mind. "And lie to my mom?"

"A sad necessity," Jade said, with a glint of mischief in her eye.

"But... even if we did," Tori said, "how could _you_ stand to do it?"

"Tori," Jade said, "I love you. I'd do anything to _be_ with you, and if the price I have to pay is a little humiliation once a week until you get into the Club and I get some answers, then I can handle it."

"And what if it takes more than that?"

"Then I'll do _whatever_ it takes," she said, calmly. "Come on," she nudged Tori, "what do you say? You and me, together. The ultimate acting challenge."

"Well..."

"We'll take them by storm, and afterward we can be whatever you want."

"I..." Tori looked into Jade's clear emerald eyes, and saw no guile, no deception, nothing but hope and deliverance. She made her decision. "Okay, let's do it."

"Good girl." Jade slipped her hand into Tori's. "Come on, time to break the news."

"The news?"

"To your mom," Jade said, with a grin. "Let's go put on a show."

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 _Did I do wrong?_

 _...Yes._

 _But it felt right._ _Am I to be punished?_

 _Yes._

 _Sweet, savage Cybele. Why do you have to be so cruel?_

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	14. Chapter 14 - In Which Trina is No Help

**Hi, thanks for all the reviews - short chapter today, we're going to have a couple of long scenes coming up but we need to set thing up (and make things slightly more complicated).** **As always, feel free to review, we will have answers eventually...**

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 _Whiplash girl-child, in the dark..._

 _._

As soon as Jade was gone, Tori started to worry. She was a natural worrier, and if she was honest with herself, one of the things that had attracted her to the lifestyle in the first place was the idea that she didn't have to worry quite so _much_ \- she was in charge, and so everything she did was, _ipso facto_ , the right thing to do. The fallacy of that logic had, of course, become devastating clear to her around the time she'd left Jade tied to the bed.

But it wasn't so much that she was worried about whether she'd done the _right_ thing, this time - she knew deep down that this was clearly the _wrong_ thing, and eventually she'd be punished for their deception - but more that she wasn't entirely sure what it was that she'd actually _done_ \- she'd agreed to fake it, that much was clear, but what exactly was it that they were faking? Were they really together, and faking it for the Club, or was their entire relationship an act? Or just some of it? Jade had said she loved her, and she'd... _almost_ said the same. But did either of them really know the other? She wished they'd discussed it a bit more, but Jade had been so taken with the idea that she'd whisked her down for breakfast so they could announce it to her mom, and then she'd been out of the door to catch up on her homework with just a nod and a wink, leaving Tori to stew in her confusion while her mom made plans for the following Friday's festivities.

That thought depressed her even more. It would be time for the next round of tests to prove their eligibility for the Club, and while Jade had professed to be willing to do _anything_ to get them there, Tori couldn't quite believe that it would be that simple. In fact, Jade's entire demeanor struck her that way - something about her bright-eyed cheeriness seemed strange, out-of-kilter, like there was something missing, somewhere. Was that really all it took? One night of agony and ecstasy and Jade was cured of an obsession that must have haunted her for years? The girl had seemed almost euphoric. _Maybe I should become a professional therapist_ , she thought, glumly _. Come to Tori Vega and have your troubles beaten out of you_. She resolved to make - damn it, _persuade_ \- Jade to talk to someone.

Tomorrow. She'd do it tomorrow.

Her attempt to settle down to her own homework was hampered by the fact she couldn't find any of it, and then scuppered completely by the arrival of Trina.

"Hey, Sis."

"Hey."

"So, the Wicked Witch of the West has returned, huh?"

"Trina!" She threw a pillow at her sister. "Don't talk about her like that."

Trina caught the pillow easily, and batted Tori on the back of the head with it. "So, did you find out?" she said.

"Find out what?"

"What she wanted."

"I..." Tori hesitated. Jade's secrets weren't hers to give away, but at the same time Tori was having a hard time carrying them on her own. Could she trust her? She knew that Trina had no love for her mom's 'hobby', and she secretly suspected that she claimed to be a submissive just to spite her. "Kind of," she said, eventually.

"And... are you going to tell me?"

"I don't know if I should."

Trina waited patiently for what she knew would come.

"Trina, can I-"

" _Can I trust you?"_ Trina finished in a sing-song voice.

"Don't mock me!"

"I'm sorry," Trina said, unapologetically. "But by the time you've said that, you're already screwed."

"What do you mean?"

"Because I'm going to say 'Yes' whether you can trust me or not, aren't I?" She rolled her eyes. "So spill it."

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* * *

 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 55**

I don't believe it, Sal. I just... I told her everything. Well, pretty much everything. I thought it would be the end, but I owed her - she _had_ to know the truth. _I_ had to know the truth. And when I told her, Sal, her face... I think the worst thing, the worst memory I'll have of this whole affair, will be the look on her face when I told her about the Lake. She was devastated, it was like I'd taken everything she ever cared about, her whole life, and set fire to it right in front of her. I should have lied, Sal. I should have let her think I was just a devious little bitch, that I was using her. Even that would have been better than stripping away the warm, fuzzy blanket she's been coddled in all her life and letting the cold air of reality right in there where it hurts.

But she took it, Sal. All of it. I exposed her to the worst of humanity, and she took it, because somewhere in there, somewhere underlying all the different shades of Tori Vega - the soppy little rabbit girl, the wannabe singer, the strident dominatrix in the corset that doesn't quite fit - is something else. Something stronger than I am. I thought she'd refuse, but when I went to her, when I asked her to do what _needed_ to be done, she...

Um...

Actually, Sal, maybe it's best if I don't talk about it. It's kind of private, you know? Between me and her. You understand, don't you, Sal? Sal?

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 _Sal?_

* * *

Tori was a little burning ball of guilt. She could practically feel her make-up melting. She'd taken Jade's darkest secret and told it to... well, not her _worst_ enemy, because she suspected that Trina had an awful lot of competition, but at the very least someone pretty high up in the ranking. She took a moment to curse everyone that had led her to exactly this point. Her mom, Trina, the girls at the Lake... Herself. She cursed them all again, in Spanish, and felt slightly better. She realized she'd left Trina off the list, and started again.

Trina's reaction had disturbed her. By the time Tori had finished the story, curled up on the bed in molten tears, she realized that Trina hadn't said anything. And then...

"When was this?"

"I don't know..." Tori had sniffed. "A couple of years back? She said she was fifteen. Why?"

"Echo Lake?"

"Yes."

And Trina had gone - no comfort, no promise to keep it to herself, for what _that_ was worth, just.. gone. Leaving Tori alone to wallow in her own self-reproach.

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Of course, not everyone who deserved to be on the list was there. But Tori wouldn't dare...

 _She kneels before the long mirror..._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _._

* * *

 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 56**

You wouldn't hate me if I _loved_ her, would you, Sal? Please say you wouldn't. Don't make me choose. It wouldn't be fair. Don't I deserve _something?_

You _left_ me, damn it - you walked away at the end of the summer as if I'd never existed, not a word, not a text, not a postcard, _nothing_. And then you came back with _her_. How dare you, Sal? How _dare_ you judge me. Don't make me fight for her, Sal. I'm not that sad little pushover I was when I was fifteen. I'll fight for her, Sal. I really will. I'll fight them _all_.

And I'll win.

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* * *

"Hello?"

"It's me."

"Oh, hey, how's it going?"

"Don't give me that, you little shit. I know what you did that summer."

"What? I-"

"At the Lake."

"Oh _God_. Listen-

"No, you listen to _me_. Do have any _idea_ what she's gone through because of what you did?"

"It wasn't just me!"

"No it wasn't, but it hardly fucking matters to the others _now_ , does it? Stay away from the Club."

"But I'm a-"

"Stay _away_. Do you hear me? There's a storm coming, Deborah, and you're going to be right in the eye of it."

"Why?"

"Because she's coming back."

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 _I'm standing on the shore, and I can see them, hair floating like tendrils in the current, faces turned up towards the sky..._

 _I can see them, open-mouthed but silent._

 _._

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	15. Chapter 15 - Where We Stand

**My apologies, when I first started this it was only going to be a couple of chapters – are we still interested? Let me know. Anyway, a little bit of normality here and no cliffhanger, but next chapter we'll have some action – we're going to make our first solo flight to the Diamond Club...**

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Tori stood at the school gates, fretting. She knew she had to talk to Jade, but she wasn't sure what sort of Jade she'd be talking _to_. It had been part of their deal, their subterfuge, for Jade to affect her usual irritable self when they were in school, so that no one would suspect the real nature of their relationship. But Jade's behavior had been tempered by the fact that she always knew she couldn't go too far without the risk of being punished. Now that everything had changed, would Jade feel free to treat her worse? She was still supposed to be her girlfriend, act or no act, but she didn't want the Beck treatment. She hoisted her bag onto her shoulder and crossed the yard.

The answer to her question came almost immediately. Jade was stood by Tori's locker, which she couldn't help but notice was open.

"Hey," Jade said, beaming, and thrust out an arm, on the end of which was a large coffee. "Coffee."

"Um, thanks." Jade had made this offer once before. Tori took the cup and sniffed it suspiciously. "This isn't out of the trash, is it?"

"No." Jade looked hurt.

"Oh, well, okay. Thanks."

"My pleasure." Jade's smile reappeared. "Oh, and here," she said, holding up some books. "I did your homework for you. I was going to put it in your locker." She nodded towards the open door.

"What? How?" Tori said.

"You just slide the scissors down the-"

"No, I mean, how did you do my homework? You don't even take these subjects."

"Yeah, if only there were some kind of vast computer network that you could use to find this stuff out," Jade said. "But as it was, I just made it all up. You'll probably get an F."

"I-"

"Oops, there goes the bell," she grinned, and pulled Tori into a kiss. "Catch you at break." And then she was gone. Tori stood, stunned for a moment, until she realized people were staring and giggling. She put her head down to hide her blushing and stomped off to class.

It went on all morning. In the classes they shared Jade would move their chairs together and shoo away unwanted interlopers, at break she bought the drinks and saved Tori a seat next to her at the table, gazing at her with an attentive and adoring look that Tori found slightly disconcerting. It was as if she was making up for Tori's loss of control by volunteering a subservience all of her own, and Tori found herself wondering if this could possibly by real, or was Jade mocking her, somehow, forcing her to go along with an act that made them both look ridiculous. It wasn't long before people began to notice. By the time lunch rolled around, and Jade appeared with a tray of food which she placed lovingly before Tori with the same thousand-watt smile she'd worn all day, it was almost inevitable.

"Man, you're right," Andre said. "She really _is_ on the leash."

Jade froze. Her smile slowly drained away as she looked around the table in horror. The situation might have passed even then, had Cat not chosen that moment to giggle.

That was enough. Jade slammed the tray down on the table, and fled.

Tori finally caught up with her in the girl's bathroom. Jade was pacing up and down, wringing her hands. As Tori entered, she whirled to face her.

"How could you?" she said, accusingly.

"What?"

"You told them!"

"Told them?"

"About _us_!" Jade cried, resuming her pacing. "I can't believe you'd do that. Do you have any idea how _humiliating_ this is for me?"

"What?" said Tori. "I didn't tell them anything!"

"You _must_ have done!"

"Do you seriously think, for one moment, that that's the sort of thing I'd spread around?"

"Then what was all that about the leash?"

"Oh for God's sake, Jade," she said , exasperated. "That was just a joke."

"Didn't sound like one to me."

"Well it was. And it's your own damned fault, anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"All this," said Tori. "Today. Running round after me, doing my homework, fetching me lunch. There's no wonder they think there's something weird going on."

"Well, _I'm_ sorry," Jade said, affronted. "I'm just trying to be a good girlfriend."

Tori stared at her for a minute, open-mouthed. "What?"

"I've never _done_ this before, Tori," Jade said. "I've only ever been out with Beck, and he's a guy. I don't know what girls _like_ , I'm just trying to make you happy."

"Jade..."

"Look, I've taken away the one thing that you really wanted from me, and I don't know what else to do. You had every right to push me away after what I told you, and you didn't. So I'm trying to be the sort of girlfriend you might want. You might be proud of."

"So that's what you think we are? Girlfriends?"

"Well, yes," said Jade. "Aren't we? I thought we'd agreed."

"I don't _know_ ," Tori said, in frustration. "I don't know _what_ we agreed. I don't know what's going on, what's real and what isn't. I think I want this, I want to believe that you didn't do any of this just to hurt me, that maybe something good will come out of it all, but maybe I'm wrong, maybe this is just... "

"More lies?"

"...Yes."

They stood facing each other for a moment.

"Do you know why I was so upset that day?" Jade said, eventually.

"Which day?"

"The first day back at school after the club. When I freaked out and hit Robbie. You remember? You and Cat were all sympathetic and you said we'd talk about it later. And then... we didn't."

Tori did remember, and felt her stomach tighten. She'd told Jade to come round after school to discuss it, and then she'd taken great delight in punishing her instead. She could still recall the look on Jade's face when she realized what was going to happen. _She crossed a line..._ "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, I _let_ you do it," Jade said. "I could have stopped you and I didn't. But didn't you ever wonder?"

"I just thought-"

"I was _upset_ ," Jade continued, "because for the first time I realized that all this was _real_ , that it wasn't just some private affair between me and you. That it could have consequences. _Cat_ knew, for God's sake. That on its own was frightening. But you... you had _everything_. All the advantage, all the power. I don't mean the power I gave you, but real, _actual_ power. You had _evidence_. you had the photographs, you had all the videos you made of me. You could finish me, ruin any career I might have, any time you wanted."

Tori recoiled. She hadn't thought of it that way. She'd recorded every move, each fresh degradation, with a sense of gleefulness at her own success, she'd never considered how it would affect Jade. "I... I'll get rid of them," she said.

Jade shook her head. "This isn't the old days, Tori," she said. "This isn't some film noir, handing over a brown envelope full of negatives by the light of the moon. You can't get rid of them. You don't even know where they _are_. Every time you back up your laptop they go somewhere. Does your mom have access to any of this? For all you know the Club could have copies by now. They're probably on a constant loop in the back office."

"That wouldn't happen!"

"Wouldn't it? Your mom gave them my bank details, my social security number. I was supposed to feel _safe_ , Tori, that's how it works. But instead, at every turn, you guys tried to keep me off balance, make my life a constant freefall - make me feel like I had no control over _anything_." Jade sighed. "I'm not trying to make you feel bad, Tori. I know I brought all this on myself. But the point I'm trying to make is, _you_ can decide whether to trust me or not. I want you to, but I can't force you. But I have no choice - I _have_ to trust you. Whether we do this or not, you'll always have the upper hand. You probably have enough just on the phone in your pocket to blackmail me for life, if you wanted." She shrugged. "So the question isn't really whether you _can_ trust me," she said. "I've put myself completely in your hands - If I hurt you, you can totally destroy me." She held Tori's gaze for a moment. "The question is, do you _want_ to trust me?"

There was silence. "Okay," Jade said, quietly, when Tori failed to make any sort of coherent response. "Look, maybe I should leave it with you, give you time to think." She slipped past her and made for the exit. She paused with her hand on the door, but didn't turn round. "I _do_ want you, Tori," she said. "But I can't make you want _me_." And with that, she was gone.

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Jade avoided her for the rest of the afternoon. By the time the final bell went, Tori despaired of seeing her at all, so she sent a text.

 _Can we talk?_

She regretted it as soon as it had gone, realizing it was practically code for ' _we're finished'_ , and so she spent the next ten minutes sending increasingly confusing and explanatory texts which did nothing to help.

Finally she received a reply.

 _I'll come over at 8._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 **Jade's Diary – Transcript 57**

I think I'm losing this battle, Sal. After the weekend I thought we were over the worst of it, that maybe we really could make it work, but now she's not sure. Is it ever possible to completely win back someone's trust? She tried, she tried so _hard_ over the whole bed thing, she was willing to do whatever it took, and now I want to do the same, but this isn't just about making a mistake, is it, Sal? This isn't an error of judgement. I lied to her. I made her think I loved her, and now that I actually do, she won't trust me again. I'm the girl who cried 'Wolf'.

I'm going over in a minute, to learn my fate. I don't want to, Sal. I want to sit here under the covers, in the dark, and make like that Schrodinger guy – if I don't go and find out, maybe it can't happen. Maybe there'll still be a chance, somewhere at a quantum level, that we'll make it – a tiny Tori and Jade, dancing like angels on the head of a pin.

Wait a minute, Sal, there's someone here.

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	16. Chapter 16 - Levelling The Playing Field

**Ok, I lied – we didn't get to the Diamond Club this time round. It turns out Tori has something she wants to do first. But next time, I promise.**

 **As usual, feel free to read and review, tell your friends, invite the** **neighbors** **over etc etc**

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Tori sat in her room, getting more and more agitated, and no closer to a decision. This wasn't supposed to happen. Her mom had _promised_ her this wouldn't happen, that in this kind of relationship there'd be no room for doubt, everything would go according to the rules.

She tried to refocus her anger on Jade, but it kept slipping away. Jade had lied to her, used her for her own purposes, but not for her own _pleasure_ \- she'd got nothing out of it personally, one listen to the recording had told her that. It had been all kinds of hell for her. And Tori found it hard to argue. She'd treated her appallingly, even by the standards of what she was beginning to feel uncomfortable calling 'the lifestyle' - it wasn't the pain and humiliation she'd caused, that was all supposed to be part of the game, it was the fact that deep down Tori knew that she'd done it all for her _own_ benefit, she'd never given a thought to how Jade felt, never considered when or where it might be appropriate. She'd punished her when she should have comforted her, she'd been cruel to her when she should have been grateful. She'd taken a sadistic delight in being unpredictable, in being a _bitch_ , just because she could. Even her _mom_ had pulled her up on it, for God's sake. But the worst of it was, she'd let Jade believe that that was the way it _had_ to be - all or nothing, total submission or no relationship at all.

 _We're using each other, but only I know it_ , Jade had said. _Does that make me better than her? Or worse?_

One single act of kindness, one act of consideration, might have saved her, might have snagged Jade's conscience enough to make her think twice about what she was doing, but instead Tori had just laid it on thicker and thicker, enchanted by her own sense of entitlement - and every time she did, Jade had just dug in deeper, retrenched, became more determined to see it through. She wondered what it must be like to have a friend like that, who'd go so _far_ for you, and felt a twinge of jealousy - if something happened to _her_ , would anybody be willing to sacrifice everything to find her? Because Jade was right - Tori could ruin her if she wanted, and Jade must always have known that, right from the night when she came to the house, when she'd knelt there, make-up smeared, face dripping, and let Tori take the first picture. Her opening salvo in the war had been to give away everything.

But now Jade had called a truce, sued for peace, bargained from a position of weakness. And Tori had no idea what to do. Should she say _yes_? What would happen if she said _no_? Would Jade carry on, try to find another way in? Maybe she should talk to her mom.

That thought pulled her up short. If her mom thought Jade was trying to damage the Diamond Club, what would _she_ do? She knew about the photographs whether she'd seen them or not - and even if she hadn't, Tori didn't know if she'd be strong enough to stand up to her if she demanded Tori hand them over.

All her life Tori had craved control, and she'd never had it. Even being a domme, having the illusion of control, had been given to her by her mom - she'd arranged everything, coached her, procured the girls for her to practice on. She'd even been the one to point Jade out as a submissive.

But her mom had been wrong, hadn't she? She'd said Jade was ripe for the picking, the perfect slave, begging to be dominated. How could she have misjudged Jade so badly? She couldn't talk to her mom. She'd never admit she'd screwed up, she'd blame it on Tori, and then it would be time for...

She was on her own. And she didn't know what to do.

 _What do you want to do?_ said a small voice somewhere in her head.

Mm?

 _Come on, Tori. It's time to cut the Gordian Knot._

The what?

 _Trust me, you listen more in class than you think you do. What do you really want?_

I don't _know_.

 _Ok, let's go a different way. A year from now, where do you want to be? Do you want to be stood here with yet another girl tied to the bed, one of your mom's little 'arrangements', going through the same dreary pantomime over and over again?_

...No.

 _Do you want to walk past her in the street like a stranger, feeling your face burn with shame because you both know what happened?_

No!

 _So what do you want?_

I want... Jade.

 _Do you? You don't sound very sure._

I _am_. It's just... can I _trust_ her?

 _Well you're never going to find that out sat here on your fat ass, are you?_

Hey!

 _It's my ass too. Look at them, Tori. Look at the Club. Is that really how you want to spend your life? You'll be one of them soon, Tori. Before you know it. You'll be your mom. Your whole life will revolve around other people's humiliation and degradation, until there's no pleasure in it, no fun, and you're just a hard-faced old bitch with a puppy girl on a string. And you still won't find what you're looking for._

And what's that?

 _Respect._

I have respect!

 _No you don't. Your mom thinks you're an idiot, Trina thinks you're a gullible sap, and the other dommes can't wait to see you fail._

You know, you're pretty mean for a conscience.

 _I haven't seen much action lately, have I? And even if they all thought you were the best thing since the inflatable butt-plug, it's not their respect you want, is it? It's hers. That's what this is all about, that's what it's always been about. You wanted her respect, and you thought 'dominating' her would give you that. But it didn't. All it gave you was obedience, and even that was a sham. You want her respect, Tori, you've got to earn it._

How?

 _I refer you to the 'fat ass' comment I made earlier._

Well that's no help, is it?

 _Surprise her, Tori. Do something she wouldn't expect._

Tori looked around her for inspiration, and saw her laptop on the table. A slow smile spread across her face. She took a small brass key from her pocket and a holdall from her wardrobe, and went to work.

.

Ten minutes later, she left the house, this time without even a glance at the basement door.

.

.

.

 _"Hello?" The woman's voice on the other end of the phone was warm, comforting._

 _"I saw your advert," the girl said._

 _"Ah, I see. And are you... interested?"_

 _"Yes, I am."_

 _"You do understand what it involves?"_

 _"Yes."_

 _"Then perhaps we should meet. Do you want to come here, or would you prefer somewhere more neutral?"_

 _"I can come over."_

 _"If you're sure." The woman gave her the address. "How about eight o'clock?"_

 _"That's fine."_

 _"Good. And what's your name?"_

 _For a moment, the girl hesitated. "...Sally."_

 _"Very well, then, Sally," the woman said. "I'll see you at eight."_

 _._

 _._

 _._

"...someone here." Jade pressed the stop button and put the recorder back on the bedside table. She hoped whoever it was didn't hang around, she didn't want to be late for her date with destiny. Or disaster.

There was a knock at her bedroom door. She crossed the room and yanked it open, to find herself confronted by an entirely unexpected Tori, carrying a large holdall.

"Hey, Tori." Her voice was raspy. She cleared her throat. "Hi."

Tori slid into the room, and quietly closed the door behind her. Jade waited for a moment, feet together, hands clasped in front of her, as if sheer neatness would count in her favor.

"I thought I was supposed to be coming over to-"

"You know," said Tori, suddenly. "I had this big, long speech all ready in my head on the way over. It was all about trust, and respect, and a whole bunch of other stuff. It was really good, you'd have liked it. It was just your kind of thing."

There was a long pause.

"O _kay_ ," Jade said, carefully. "And... am I going to get to hear it?"

"No."

"Oh. Why?"

"Because the bottom line is," Tori threw the bag towards the foot of the bed. "I screwed up. I was wrong."

.

.

.

 _"Would you like something to drink? A soda maybe?"_

 _"Do you have anything stronger?"_

 _"Are you nervous?"_

 _"A little."_

 _"I'm afraid I don't keep liquor in the house these days. And in any case, it might be best if you had a clear head while we talked."_

 _"Okay." The girl laughed, awkwardly. "I guess you're the boss."_

 _The woman smiled. "Not yet, Sally," she said, softly. "We have much to discuss first."_

.

.

.

"Wrong about what?"

"About _you_ ," Tori said. "About what I wanted. The thing that I loved about you was exactly the thing I took away from you when we started, the thing I... _tricked_ you into giving up. I don't want to do that anymore. I thought I wanted control, but I don't - control's _boring_. What's the point of a girlfriend you can't argue with, that has to do everything you say, that can't put you right when you're wrong? I want to have _fun_ , Jade, I want to be surprised. I want... unpredictable. I want the _real_ you, not what I had before. I want..." She walked to the bedside table and picked up the silver voice recorder. "I want the Jade that went through hell to do _this_ ," she said. She gazed at it for a moment. "I want to be the girl that you would have done this _for_."

"I'm sorry."

"No! No more _'sorry'_ ," Tori said. "That's all done now. Over. We're even. I treated you like shit, you lied to me. I thought I was being smart, you were smarter. You won this time, maybe I'll win next time. That's the way we are, Jade, that's the way we've always been. So let's start over. Do you love me?"

"Yes."

"Then prove it. You want me to trust you, then this is your chance."

"What do you mean?"

"Take me with you, Jade. Take me with you wherever you're going. Show me something wild. You want to break into the Diamond Club, I'll do it with you. You want to find your friend, I'll help you. Anything you want to do, I'll do it. I'm sick of thinking about rules, Jade. Let's go on an adventure together. You and me."

.

.

.

 _"This is our contract. You should read it carefully. Anything you're not happy with, we can discuss."_

 _"Do I have to sign this?"_

 _The woman laughed. "It's not legally binding, don't worry," she said. "Think of it more as... the rules of the game."_

 _"Rules?"_

 _"It sets out the boundaries of our relationship, when and where I have control - the limits of my power, if you like. You're free to change it at any time."_

 _"And you?"_

 _"No. I can't change it. Only you. I'll have my own rules for you within these boundaries, but I can't override this."_

 _The woman sipped her tea, sedately. "It's all about control, Sally," she said. "And this is yours."_

.

.

.

"And what about your mom?"

"Screw my mom. I'm sick of that too."

"But if she finds out-"

" _Shh_." Tori pressed a finger up against Jade's lips. "Don't say it. Don't say she could ruin you, or blackmail you, or whatever. That's all going to change."

"Wmf?"

"Because you and _I_ ," Tori said, leaning close and using the finger to smush Jade's lips around in a circle, "have something we need to do."

She picked up the bag, and dropped it onto the bed. "You're right," she said. "I'll be honest with you. I've deleted all the photos, all the videos, everything, but I can't guarantee that my mom hasn't seen them, didn't copy them off somewhere without telling me. So this is the next best thing." She began to unbutton her blouse.

Jade's eyes widened. "What are you doing?"

"Do you remember," said Tori, slipping the blouse off her shoulders, "in History class last year, we studied the Cold War? Mutually Assured Destruction?"

"Um... yeah?"

"Well that's what I'm offering," she said, as if it was obvious. "Mutually..."

She popped the button on her pants.

"...assured..."

 _zzziiip._

"...destruction." A final kick sent the pants across the room. She reached into the bag, pulling out Jade's silver slave collar, and fastened it around her own neck.

"I don't get it."

"No?" Tori took a black camcorder out of the bag. "You and me," she said, tossing it to Jade, "are going to make another video. Only _this_ time," she slipped her feet back into her heels and unclipped her bra, " _I'm_ going to be the star."

Jade stared entranced at the sight in front of her for a moment before coming to her senses. "I... What? No!"

"Why not?" Tori delved into the bag and brought out a necklace with her name made out in silver letters. "I can't disarm the bomb _I've_ created," she said, fastening it below the collar where it would be clearly visible, "but I can give you one to match it. _Share the risk, raise the stakes_. If you go down, I go down."

"But I wouldn't _do_ that to you."

"I know you wouldn't. But the point is, my _mom_ needs to know you can. Look," Tori said. "We can do this the hard way or the easy way, okay? I could make this on my own and send it to you, if you want. I just thought it might be more fun to do it, you know... together."

The little pout on Tori's face was too much for Jade. "Well, I guess..." she said, helplessly. "If that's what you want."

"It is." Tori grinned. She picked up the bag and shook the remaining contents out over the bed with a clatter. "So," she said, as Jade looked in disbelief at the mountain of hardware before her. "Choose your weapon."

"I..." Jade's brain was struggling to find the right gear. "I don't know where to start."

"No?" Tori picked a pair of silver handcuffs from the top of the pile. She pressed her finger against Jade's chest and pushed her into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. "Well, how about this." She pushed Jade's legs apart and knelt down between them. "Why don't we _start_ ," she said, fastening the cuffs behind her own back with a satisfying _click_ , "where we usually start."

.

.

.

" _I'll give you a safeword. Do you understand what that is?"_

 _"Yes," the girl said. "Can I... can I choose my own?"_

 _"Of course. What would you prefer?"_

 _The girl told her._

 _"Interesting. A favorite color? Or someone's name? A friend, perhaps?"_

 _"A... friend."_

 _"Okay, then, Sally. 'Jade' it is."_

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	17. Chapter 17 - Laying Down The Law

**Sorry it's been a while, I had other, non-Jori related things to do, but we're back. This follows on from the previous chapter, so you'll just have to use your imagination to fill in the intervening couple of hours. I'm sure you can do that...**

.

.

.

 _Two hours later..._

 _._

Jade lay with her head resting on Tori's chest, listening to the other girl's heartbeat slowly returning to normal.

"That was amazing." she said quietly, her hand tracing lazy circles across the Latina's stomach.

There was no answer.

"I'm sorry if I was, um... a bit rough."

Tori remained silent.

"I guess I'm just not used to being on top, you know? Are you mad with me?"

Tori's silence, if anything, grew more profound. Although there was a faint wheezing sound.

"I'll make it up to you. I promise. Do you... want a soda, or something?" Tori's lack of response began to worry her. "Are you listening to me? Tori?"

She glanced upwards. "Oh God, sorry!" She reached up and unbuckled the ball-gag, pulling it out with a pop. "Are you okay?"

"Sweet Jesus," Tori gasped, as she reinflated her lungs. "I think you forgot on purpose," she said, accusingly.

"I honestly didn't." Jade did her best to look contrite. "So do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Want a soda?"

"No, thanks. I'm good for soda." Tori rattled her wrists. "You could untie me though."

"Yeah, I could do that," Jade said, resting her head back down. Her fingers traced lower. "That is very much a thing I could do."

"Jade..."

"I'd say," she went lower, "it's very definitely..."

"Jade... no..."

"...in the realms..." Lower.

"Not again, please..."

"...of possibility."

" _Ohhhhhhhh..."_

Jade smiled. Sometimes, she had to admit, control could be fun.

.

.

.

 _Another hour later..._

 _._

" _Now_ will you untie me?"

"Absolutely. As soon as you say the safeword."

"Which is?"

"Antidisestablishmentarianism."

"What? You have _got_ to be ki..."

.

.

.

 _Another hour later..._

 _._

"Well, I don't know, you didn't really pronounce it right. There's more of an emphasis on-"

"One more time, West, and that thing is going so far up your ass you'll be able to brush your teeth with it."

Jade sighed and reached up to unfasten the shackles. "Sorry," she said, her expression of sincere penitence spoiled only by her inability to stop grinning.

"You will be." Tori rubbed at her wrists, trying to maintain her fury in the face of Jade's attempt to keep a straight face. Eventually she gave in.

"You _will_ pay for that, you know," she said ruefully, and curled up into Jade's side. Jade stretched her arm around her and pulled her close.

"You didn't like it?"

"Yes I did. It's just that if I take much more of it you're going to have to take me home in a wheelbarrow." Tori snuggled closer. "But it _was_ incredible."

"I have a confession to make," Jade said, stroking her hair.

"Mm?"

"When you turned up, I had a feeling I knew what was in the bag."

"Really?" Tori was disappointed. "I really thought I was going to surprise you."

"Oh, you _did_ ," said Jade. "Because for a minute I thought..."

Tori lifted her head to look at her. "You thought I'd come here to try and make you my sub again?"

Jade shrugged. "I thought maybe that was your price, you know? For taking me back."

"Is that what you really think of me? That I'd want that?" Tori was mortified. "I'm not a monster, Jade. Do you really think I could carry on knowing you didn't like it?"

"I don't-"

"I mean, I get that I was a terrible domme and everything, and I'm sorry about that, but you can't really blame me for thinking you were into it. I wasn't to know you hated every minute of it."

"I didn't."

"I mean, just because... What?"

"That's my confession, really," Jade said, quietly. "I let you think it was _all_ terrible, and I hated everything, but I didn't, you know? Some of it was fun. And the sex could be pretty hot, you've got to admit that. "

"Well, yeah."

"It was the other stuff, I guess. The humiliation. The disrespect."

"Jade, you know I-"

"I know, I know. That's just how it _felt_. But the thing is, if you _had_ wanted that, if that had been the price, I... would have paid it."

"Don't say that, please. I don't want to think about you 'paying a price' to be with me. I want you to love me."

"I do, it's just I feel... Why don't you hate me more, Tori? I took something you were into, something you loved, and I ruined it for you."

"I didn't _love_ it, Jade. It was just... something I did. Something my mom got me into. And you were right - what kind of teenage girl is into the same thing as their mom? And it's not just my mom, either. It's a pretty long tradition, if you know what I mean."

"I'm trying not to."

"But you really want to know why I'm not mad?"

Jade nodded.

"Well, I guess... partly it's the relief, really."

"The relief?"

"I know I treated you badly, Jade. Even as a girlfriend. And in some way, knowing you were up to no good makes me feel a whole lot less guilty about it. I don't feel as much of a failure knowing I was doomed from the start. Does that make sense?"

"Not as such, no. "

"The stuff my mom wanted me to do, the way she wanted me to live my life, it was like I was constantly on trial. Be a good domme. Control your sub. Practise your technique. Impress the judges at the Club. And when I thought I'd screwed up, I felt I was letting everyone down. But now I know that I was _never_ in control, it seems less like my fault, and more like, I don't know... fate."

"Well, that's a creative way of dodging your responsibilities."

Tori jabbed hard Jade in the ribs. "I _can_ be mad, if you want me to," she said, sharply. "I've got a whole heap of stuff here we haven't even used, if you really _want_ me to be mad."

"Um... no, I'm good, thanks."

"Anyway, I'm not 'dodging my responsibilities'," she said. "It just feels like this is where fate wants me to be, rather than where I was before."

"Well, I'll second that," said Jade. "It's about time the little gank put something my way."

"And the other thing is..." Tori paused. "Have you ever listened back to the stuff you said? On the recording?"

"No, I couldn't. Not after I knew that you'd heard it. Why?"

"Because on there, towards the end, it sounded like you... like you really cared about me. You talked about saving me, bringing me out with you, as if somehow we were already in it together. And I know you must have meant that, because I was never supposed to hear it. It sounded like you were..." she hesitated, "...falling in love with me." She blushed. "A bit. Maybe."

"Tori-"

"All right, I know that sounds a bit presumptive-"

"Presumptuous."

Tori rolled her eyes. "Presumptuous. But the thing is, I know you didn't do it out of spite, and I know it must have been hard. And for you to come out of that feeling anything for me at _all_ , well that makes me feel... I don't know. Special."

"Special?"

"Um... yeah."

Jade laughed, and planted a gentle kiss on her forehead. "You know something, Vega?" she said softly.

Tori looked up. "What?"

"You are _so_ fucked up."

Tori choked. " _Me?_ " she said, rolling over to straddle Jade, who she found was laughing fit to burst. " _Why you little..."_

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.

.

Holly Vega stood quietly in the cool morning air and traced a finger slowly across the photograph in her hand. "I'm sorry," she whispered. The breeze drove a tear across her cheek. She reached up to brush it away.

 _Totus_ had been a mistake. She knew that, now. It had gotten out of hand. The others had twisted it, abused it, made it all about them. Even then, she'd thought she could bring it back under control, make it work. But now Jade was here, and the storm clouds were gathering.

"I'm sorry," she repeated, softly. "I couldn't have known it would happen. You have to believe me. I was only trying to make things better, to make it..."

The words died in her throat. There was no point in explaining, no point in looking for exoneration now. "I never meant for anyone to get hurt."

There was no answer but the rustle of the wind through the trees. There would never be any answer. She bent and laid the flowers silently on the grave.

On her way out of the cemetery, she passed another, older grave, but she didn't stop.

There'd be no flowers for her. Not today. Not ever.

 _Totus Tuus..._

 _._

 _._

 _._

Tori snuggled deeper under the covers and tried to ignore the phone. Eventually it stopped, followed a couple of minutes later by the beep of a text arriving which she knew would be from her mom. It even _sounded_ impatient. She reached out and looked at it.

"Do you want the good news or the bad news?" she said to the top of Jade's head.

"If thf a diffriff?" came the muffled reply.

"Well there is, but... stop that!" Jade surfaced, dishevelled. "My mom says that the trials on Friday are cancelled. Cat's sick."

"You can say that again. That whole thing with the-"

"No, she means _sick_ , sick. The flu or something. Apparently it wouldn't be fair on her to miss out."

"Yeah, poor old Cat. I bet Hayley was really looking forward to it, too."

"Don't be sarcastic," Tori scolded. "Hayley's into it. It's not everyone who gets stuck with a devious little gank like you."

"Hey! Watch it Vega, or you'll feel my wrath again."

"Promises, promises. You haven't even had coffee yet."

"Okay," Jade conceded. "First coffee, then wrath." There was a long pause. "I don't smell coffee."

"I'm not _making_ you coffee," Tori said, yanking the covers off the other girl. "This is _your_ house. I'm a guest."

"You're not a guest. You're my sometime girlfriend."

"Sometime? Right, that's it." She drew up both knees and used them to slowly lever a groaning Jade out of bed and onto the floor with a thump. "You get up and make your _all-the-time_ girlfriend some breakfast, or she'll be dishing out some wrath of her own."

"Okay, fine," Jade slunk across the floor and pulled on a dressing gown. "You're a harsh mistress."

"And you're an uppity sub. Hey, you're right. That _is_ fun to say."

"Say it again, and it'll get a whole lot less fun."

"Don't be such a grouch."

"Hey, you wanted the real me, you've got her."

.

.

.

" _Do you feel comfortable?"_

" _Yes."_

" _Yes...?"_

" _Yes, Mistress."_

" _That's better. Do you feel safe?"_

" _Yes, Mistress."_

" _Good. Then we'll begin."_

 _._

 _._

 _._

Jade stirred her coffee, and watched as Tori demolished her pancakes. "So," she said. "What was the bad news?"

"Hm?" said Tori, through a mouthful of food. "Oh, that. The Club's still on, this Friday."

"I thought we were cancelled?"

"Yeah, but they'll still have the night. It'll just be a normal one, nothing special."

"Normal? What's normal?"

"I don't really know," Tori confessed. "You've been as often as I have."

"Yes, but I'm not privy to your mom's little plans, am I? I thought maybe there was a secret domme itinerary."

"If there is, she didn't tell me."

Jade swirled her cup, restlessly. "Are you sure you want to do this?" she said.

Tori looked up, taken aback. "Don't you?" she said. "I mean, I know it's only been a day, but after last night..."

"Not me and you, you dunce," Jade said. "The Club."

Tori gave a little shrug. "You want to find your friend," she said. "And I want to help you."

"I know, but... It's your mom, you know? This is her _thing_. I don't want you to go behind her back and cause trouble. I know you said you don't care, but I don't want you to resent me if you fall out with her."

"Look," said Tori. "I know you think the Club's a bad place, okay? I don't know if it is or it isn't, but if it is, well, maybe I need to find that out. I don't want her to be involved in something horrible."

Jade kept the observation that Holly might _already_ be involved to herself. "Okay," she said, "so how do you want to play it?"

"Play it?"

"With your mom. We're going to have to pretend it's all still on in front of her."

"Yeah. But at least we're actually together, now. You don't have to pretend you love me." There was a look of expectation on Tori's face, which Jade ignored until Tori's eyebrows were cranked up so high they were practically in outer space.

"What?" she said, innocently.

"I _said_ ," said Tori, "at least you don't have to _pretend_ you love me."

"Mmm-hmm." Jade said, noncommittally into her coffee. She looked up to find Tori's eyebrows had come back to earth in a ferocious glare. "I mean, _yes_ ," she gave in. "I totally don't have to pretend that."

"Jade! Sometimes I swear to God you-"

"Okay, I'm sorry."

"Good. Look, it might be an idea if I spend as much time at your place as I can, that way we don't have to do much pretending until we have to. I'm still not sure I can trust you in front of my mom. I know you don't like her."

"It's not that I don't like her as a _person_ , Tori," Jade said, not entirely truthfully. "It's just I'm kind of uncomfortable around her because I know how she thinks about me. What she thinks I am."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Not your fault. Anyway, I can't really call myself an actress until I've faced a tough crowd. I've fooled her before, and I can do it again. Although it kind of sticks in my throat calling her 'Mistress' all the time. Okay, we better get some practice in."

"Practice?"

"For Friday night. I don't want us to look like a couple of amateurs in front of everyone. I want us to look _hot_."

Tori grinned. "Okay," she said. "I'm all yours."

"And I'm yours."

"And _only_ mine. Listen, about my mom..."

.

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.

"Where the hell is she?" Holly fumed as the minutes ticked by on the Friday evening. "I though you told her to be here at seven. She need a refresher course in discipline if this is how she acts."

Tori tugged at the edge of the corset which she still failed to fill satisfactorily and felt increasingly embarrassed wearing. "The thing is, Mom, me and Jade, we've..."

"Jade West, you little slut, what time do you call this?" Holly exploded, as Jade entered. "I've a good mind to take you down into my dungeon and-"

"Fuck off, Holly," said Jade, cheerfully.

"...come to kind of an arrangement," Tori finished weakly. "Jade, please don't speak to my mother like that."

"Yes Mistress. Sorry Mistress," Jade said, without a trace of contrition, as Holly stood dumbstruck. She eyed Tori critically. "Is that what you're wearing?"

"Well, yes," said Tori. "It's what I usually wear. Isn't it?"

"Not tonight," Jade said, firmly. "Go put on something slinky. And heels. As high as you've got them. I don't want to make you look like a short-ass."

Tori disappeared upstairs wordlessly to do as she was bidden. Jade turned to face Holly, who's face had passed through a deep purple and was now a bony white. "Arrangement?" she said, acidly. "What sort of arrangement?"

"Okay, I apologize," Jade said. "Maybe that was uncalled for. But we've decided that if we're going to carry on, we need rules. And the first one is that I'm _Tori's_ sub. No one else's. So the next time you threaten to drag me off somewhere for a beating, it's going to end badly."

Holly's eyes widened at the implied threat. "If Tori's going to be a member of this club, then you're going to have to respect other-"

"Take it or leave it, _Holly_ ," Jade said. "If you want me back, then I've got terms. And that's one of them. I'll call you 'Mistress' and grovel to you in front of your friends in the Club, if that's what it takes, but outside of that, you're just Tori's mom. You treat me with respect, and you'll get some back. You try and push me around because I'm your daughter's sub, then you don't. Okay?"

Holly pursed her lips, and said nothing.

"Look," said Jade. "I don't want to screw this up for you or Tori, I know this means a lot. So I'll do what needs to be done. But I won't go back to the way it was - like I was public property, the family pet. It's just not going to happen. And if I walk out again, I won't be coming back."

The silence lasted half a minute. Eventually Holly nodded. "Thank you," Jade said, quietly, and climbed the stairs.

In a reversal of fortune which she would have taken great delight in only a few months ago, It was now Tori who sat on the bed, not yet dressed, and visibly panicking. "I can't do this," she said, her voice trembling.

"Hey, look, it's going to be fine," Jade said, sitting down beside her and rubbing her back. "We've got this. We're actresses, remember? It'll be just like the skit."

"But I thought it was _real_ , then," Tori said. "Or at least, it _had_ been real. Now I know it wasn't, I don't know if I can keep it up." She turned to Jade. "I don't know if I can treat you that way in front of other people. Pretend to be a domme."

"Then don't think of it that way," Jade said. "Think of it as an act. Don't think of us as mistress and slave, think of us as... a Lady and her butler in a play, or something."

"It's still the same."

"Okay, how about this," Jade said. "We're going into battle. You and me, we're an army of two. You're my commanding officer. You lead me right, show me some respect, and I'll follow you anywhere. Into any danger. I'll take a bullet for you."

"An army of two?" Tori seemed to calm down a little.

"An army of two," Jade said. "You and me. Whatever happens in there, I won't let you down. I'll do anything you need me to do. Don't be embarrassed, or coy about it, just go with what you think looks good. I won't hold anything against you. You'll have total control from the minute we walk through the door."

"Really?"

"I promise. I'll love you just as much when we leave as I do now."

"Aaw, that's... wait, you _do_ love me now, right?"

" _Yes_." Tori smiled, as Jade squeezed her knee. "Okay," she said. "We'd better get ready."

Ten minutes later they reappeared at the top of the stairs, Tori resplendent in a tight electric-blue dress and stilettos, hair back-combed into a furious mane, and Jade...

From the thigh-high leather boots with an impossible heel, to the hair pulled savagely up into a bun with two nine-inch iron nails pinning it through, Jade was terrifying. Her outfit was made entirely of straps and studs, her thick, black make-up applied like war-paint. The only thing that identified her as a sub was the silver collar she wore, its leash draped across Tori's shoulder. She grinned at Holly's open-mouthed horror.

"Okay, _mamita_ ," she said, in a voice slick with subversion. "We're ready to go."

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	18. Chapter 18 - An Army of Two

**Hi, how's it going? Everybody okay? Happy so far? Thanks for sticking with it, I like to feel we're all in this together, somehow - we few, we happy few, hoping to make it through to the final curtain, bloody but unbowed...**

 **Or maybe that's just me. Anyway, I know some of this might seem slightly far-fetched, but I have it on good authority that this is almost the exact plot of the missing series finale, 'Tori and Jade Infiltrate a Bondage Club', w** **hich was pulled at the last minute, for fairly obvious reasons.**

 **So, on with the show...**

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Holly Vega sat in the limousine, considering her options. She was angry with the way Jade had spoken to her, but she wasn't stupid. Clearly things were different, and it was more than just Jade insisting on a few ground rules. She watched them in the reflection of the window, huddled together, whispering. There had been a fundamental change in the relationship, not just between the girls, but between the three of them. Holly had watched as Tori's loyalty had shifted irrevocably from herself to Jade, and while that in itself was no bad thing - she couldn't keep Tori from growing up - the question was, what did it mean? Tori, despite what she'd been led to believe, was not a natural domme. She could learn the technique, the rules, the behavior, but she had no innate aptitude for it, no belief in her own authority. Trina would have been perfect, but Trina didn't want to do it. So she was stuck with Tori. Even that might have worked, if she'd been paired up with one of the other girls, but Holly had insisted on Jade, and now Jade was turning out to be something she couldn't control.

Would it be so bad, she asked herself, sadly, to just let it go? Just let them go their own way, leave them alone, tell the Club it didn't work out? Whatever Jade was up to, she seemed genuinely affectionate towards Tori, and she'd never seen her daughter happier than when she'd come back from Jade's last week and announced they were back on. Maybe they _could_ work. She looked again at them, deep in conversation, knees touching, eyes locked on one another, and felt the memories welling up, a sense of envy along with a bitter resentment, not towards them, but towards _her_.

She ran a finger over her own tattoo, whose matching twin had long since become dust.

 _Totus Tuus_.

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They arrived at the Club and left the limousine, Jade flashing the driver a flirtatious smile as they went. They reached the doors out of earshot of Holly and, with some ceremony, Jade handed the end of her leash to Tori.

"Okay," Jade said. "Here we go. Remember what we said. You've got total control. Don't fuck it up."

"Ahem?"

"Sorry," Jade rolled her eyes. "Don't fuck it up, _Mistress_."

"That's better." Tori grinned. "Let's do it."

They made quite an entrance as they strode into the Club, utterly composed, perfectly in step, sweeping through the doors as though the party was waiting for _them_. Holly, of course, was unaware of how many times they'd drilled this, how sick Jade had been of repeating 'one foot to the left, one step behind, don't watch me, I'll watch you', but it worked. Eyes were on them, and some of those eyes belonged to people it wouldn't hurt to impress.

If truth be told Jade had been a little apprehensive about this, she wasn't sure that she could go through it again even in pretence, but once inside she found herself enjoying it immensely - there was a certain piquancy to fooling the arrogant, in using their own lack of self-awareness against them - it was, after all, how she'd ensnared Tori in the first place. She stalked through the Club behind her mistress, as domme after domme approached them with snide intentions only to find themselves frozen in the twin headlights of Tori's dazzling smile and Jade's nuclear glare. There was never anything specific they could point to afterwards, Jade was careful of that, but still, each fell back with a sense of relief, as if they'd narrowly avoided being mauled by a large dog whose malevolence its owner cheerfully denied.

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Holly watched them thoughtfully, and again felt the twinge of envy she experienced in the car. It was as if they were the only dabs of color in a black and white scene, as if the rest of the room was just a shadow cast by the light of their fire. She could see Marla watching them too.

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"This is so cool," Tori said. "I feel like a spy."

"I'm glad you like it, Mistress," Jade murmured, absentmindedly.

Tori giggled. "You know," she said, "It's still kind of hot when you call me that."

"Don't get used to it."

"Maybe later we could borrow one of the rooms, what do you think?"

"I think you need to concentrate."

"We could get a key to the Red Room and..."

Jade stopped. "What?" she said.

Tori realized her mistake too late, and her stomach twisted at the memory of how she'd treated Jade the _last_ time they'd been in the Red Room. "I'm sorry," she said. "I wasn't thinking."

"Tori, I love you dearly, but if you think I'm _ever_ setting foot in that room again, you've got another thing coming," Jade said. "Anyway," she nodded her head in the direction of the bar, "we've got more important things to worry about right now."

Marla was approaching. "Battle stations," muttered Tori. Marla was different – she ran the Club, and it wouldn't be wise to push her.

"Tori, how nice to see you." Marla moved sideways to intercept the pair. "How are you this evening?" She ignored Jade.

"Hi, Marla," Tori said. "I'm fine, thanks." She wondered briefly if her mom had told her anything about the last few weeks.

"Good, good." Marla smiled, benevolently. "I'm glad. Ah, Jade..." she said, as if seeing her for the first time. "My, don't you look fierce."

Tori tensed. She quite liked Marla, but she doubted that Jade felt the same.

"Yes, Mistress Marla." Jade's voice was flat, expressionless.

"Very impressive. You'll have to be careful, people will start thinking you're a domme," Marla said. The smile stayed on her lips, but left her eyes completely . "And we wouldn't want _that_ , now, would we?"

"No, Mistress Marla."

"No. So... are you well?"

"Yes, Mistress Marla."

"Still happy in your role?"

"Yes, Mistress Marla."

Tori relaxed a little and risked a look at Jade. She was staring straight ahead blankly, at something apparently just to the left of Marla's ear, and Tori recognized the tone of voice now. The bored subordinate, enduring a visit from a clueless superior. Marla appeared to be struggling slightly in the face of Jade's implacable indifference.

"I very much enjoyed your skit last time," Marla tried. "I understand from some of the other girls that you were allowed to help out with that?"

"Yes, Mistress Marla."

"It was very clever. Very... inventive."

"Thank you, Mistress Marla."

Marla gave up, and refocused her attention on Tori. "I'm sorry we're not doing the trials tonight. I'm sure your mother told you, one of the other candidates is sick."

 _Don't say it don't say it don't say it_. Jade remained silent, much to Tori's relief. "Yes, she has."

"That said, a lot of the judges are here anyway, so there's still room to make a good impression." She leaned closer, confidentially. "Unofficially, as it were."

"I understand. We'll do our best."

"Good." She leaned back, and glanced at Jade. "Well, enjoy the evening. I'm sure we'll talk later."

"Okay, Marla, thanks."

Marla sailed away, regally. Tori breathed a sigh of relief. "Well done," she said, when Marla was out of earshot. "I think we pulled it off."

" _'We wouldn't want anyone thinking you're a domme'_ ," Jade mimicked, sourly. " _'That would never do'_. Anyway, what do you mean, _we_?"

"Hush," said Tori. "You're supposed to be undercover. Come on, let's get a drink."

"Yeah, let's." Jade kept her eye on Marla, and watched as she reached a door at the back of the room with a security pad, keying in a code and disappearing through it. She nudged Tori. "Where does that go?" she asked.

Tori looked around. "I've no idea," she said. "Must be a back office or something."

"Hmm."

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They reached the bar, which was quite busy, a continuous stream of subs fetching drinks for their mistresses. "Wait here," Jade said, moving forward, prepared to employ a judicious jab here, a heel on a toe there, but the subs parted like mist, without complaint, and she was struck again by how little interaction there was. "Hey," she recognised the girl behind the bar. "Let's have a couple of whiskey sours when you've got a minute." There was a faint ripple of disapproval at this cavalier approach, but drinks were brought forth and Jade turned to see that Tori was deep in conversation with a very small, rotund domme who's name she couldn't remember. She went over and handed Tori the drink, which Tori took smoothly without looking at her, as rehearsed, and stood patiently until the other domme, whose name she now recalled was Alison, turned to find her eyes on a level with Jade's magnificently armored cleavage. "Oh, my," said Alison, her eyes moving upwards to catch the full force of Jade's intense gaze. "It's er..."

"Jade, Mistress Alison. My name is Jade."

"Yes, of course it is. Ahem." Alison rallied. "I was just congratulating your Mistress on her performance last time you were here. You must be very proud."

"It's an honor to serve her, Mistress Alison."

"I'll bet. Of course musicals aren't really my thing, but it was very entertaining." She nudged Tori, playfully. "Sex time, eh?"

Tori choked on her drink. "What?"

"The song. ' _Sex time, sex time_...'" Alison did a little dance. "It was very good."

"It was _Sexcrime_ ," Jade said, trying to keep a straight face as Tori struggled for breath. "It's from-"

"Don't you correct me," Alison said sharply. "I know what I heard. And what would you know about it, anyway?"

"Well, I kind of..." Alison's eyes narrowed suspiciously, and Jade realized her mask was slipping. "Curse my foolish arrogance, Mistress," she said, with a bow. "I forget my place. Of course you're right. 'Sex time'. Absolutely."

Tori went a different shade of purple, but the other domme seemed to take this at face value.

"Good," she said. "Well, if you'll excuse me, _Tori_ , I have to go find my sub. I shouldn't have let her off the leash, I think she's got lost." She turned like a small tug boat and waddled away.

Tori finally regained her composure. "'Curse my foolish arrogance'?" She said, in disbelief.

"What?" Jade said, defensively. "I though you liked it when I talked like that."

"Yes, but it was different when I thought you _meant_ it."

"Yeah, right. So you actually _meant_ it all those times you called me a worthless little slut, did you?"

"Well, no, but I thought _you_ liked it," Tori said. "I didn't really _mean_ that you were... well, you know."

"I know you didn't, Tori. Because I know what it feels like when someone does. But that's my point. Even if I _had_ been a sub, I still wouldn't have _meant_ all that stuff. It's just make-believe. That's the problem with this place. They want it to be real." She glanced up over Tori's shoulder. "Speaking of deluded individuals-"

"Hey!"

"-Alison's coming back, and she's got company. I gotta go take a wazz."

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"I don't like it ," Marla said without preamble, as she sat down next to Holly. "It's not right."

Holly rubbed her eyes, wearily. "She's here, isn't she?" she said. "And she came of her own accord. Isn't that better?"

"I don't want her doing things _'of her own accord'_ ," Marla said. "Because what if she decides, 'of her own accord', to do something different? What's going to happen then? I can't see your drip of a daughter doing much about it, can you?"

"Marla!"

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said, sweetly. "Did I touch a nerve?"

"Don't you-"

"Don't I _what_?" Marla snapped. "I let you put her up for membership, when you know as well as I do that she's not up to it, and on top of that, you pair her up with Jade, of all people. What the _hell_ were you thinking? I should have given Jade to Deborah, and you could have left Tori at home with her dolls."

"They're in _love_ , for God's sake. Come on, Marla, have a heart. And it wouldn't be fair to set Deborah on her."

" _They're in love? It's not fair?_ Jesus Christ, what the hell is wrong with you?" Marla looked at her, coldly. "This isn't about love, Holly," she said. "This is about _control_."

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Jade finished washing her hands. The bathroom was almost empty, but a stall door opened and she was joined at the sink by a younger girl in underwear and collar. Feeling it was a lost cause, she tried anyway. "Hi," she said.

She hadn't been expecting much of a response, but she was surprised and a little gratified by the one she got.

"Good evening, Mistress."

She looked at the girl in the mirror, who was trying not to catch her eye, and grinned. "Don't 'Mistress' _me_ , babygirl, " she said. "I'm one of you guys."

The girl looked up, to see Jade jangling her collar, and laughed in relief. "Sorry," she said. "It's just that you look kind of..." The girl waved her hand up and down Jade's outfit.

"Yeah, well, I'm trying out something different. Do you like it?"

" _God_ , yes. I mean, yes, it's, um, very nice."

"Thank you. You're new here?"

"First time." The girl stuck out her hand. "I'm Stephanie."

"Jade. So, how are you finding it?"

"To be honest..." She hesitantly, as if Jade might be offended. "It's a little bit overwhelming. I thought it would be, you know, less formal. I feel like everyone's looking at me. And the other mistresses are kind of intimidating."

"Yeah, they like to do that. Try picturing them naked." A vision of Alison swam through her head. She shuddered. "No, on second thoughts, don't do that."

"Which one's yours?"

"Tori. Blue dress, big hair. Kind of pretty. Well, very pretty," she conceded.

"Ooh, I've seen her," Stephanie said. "She seems lovely."

"She is," said Jade. "So keep your hands off. She's mine."

"You guys are in a relationship?"

"She's my girlfriend, yeah."

"Oh." Stephanie sounded disappointed. "How did you get together?"

Jade laughed. "It's a _very_ long story," she said. "Maybe I'll tell you one day."

"Okay. I'd like that." Stephanie smiled. "I'd better go. She'll be-"

"Stephanie!" came a shrill voice from somewhere outside the door. The girl grimaced. "Too late."

"What _is_ it with these people and going to the bathroom? Listen, Stephanie," Jade said, " before you go, just... be careful in here, okay? Remember you can always walk away."

"I will, thanks." She leaned over and gave Jade a quick hug. "It was nice to meet you."

"You too." The girl trotted away, and Jade could hear raised voices fading off into the distance. _You can always walk away_ , she thought.

But can you?

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Tori was deep in discussion when she returned. A couple of the other dommes spotted her, but clearly felt there was safety in numbers, and Tori didn't acknowledge her at all, so she took up her position and waited patiently. If Tori really _had_ turned her back on the 'lifestyle', she noted, she was doing a bang-up job of pretending otherwise. She wondered briefly whether the scenario Tori was describing with such enthusiastic gesticulation was a real one, and if she'd been on the receiving end of it. She decided she didn't really want to know and tuned out, keeping her eye instead on Marla, as she zig-zagged the room, talking to other dommes here and there, going about her business, all bustle and efficiency. She watched as she returned to the locked door at the back and opened it - only to be called away by one of the bar staff, leaving it fractionally but invitingly ajar.

"Mistress," she hissed, her eyes locked on the door.

"You should have seen the size of it, I didn't think she'd-"

"Mistress!"

Tori turned, and it was clear that she hadn't realized Jade was back. "Oh, there you are," she said, coloring slightly. "I was just, um..."

"Yes, Mistress. I could tell. I need to use the bathroom."

"I... What, again?"

"Yes, Mistress. _Again_." There was an urgency to Jade's voice that was clearly not bladder-related. The other dommes looked on expectantly, and Tori floundered for a moment, her eyebrows knitting in deliberation as she tried to read the clue in Jade's expression.

"I need to fix my make-up?" Jade suggested. "I probably look a mess?"

"Yes...? Yes!" Tori sagged in relief. "Yes you do. You look awful." She waved a hand, imperiously. "Go away, and don't come back until you look... less awful." Jade kept her immaculately painted face immobile as she nodded obediently.

"Yes, Mistress."

She strode away in the direction of the bathroom, changing direction only when she was sure she was out of sight to bring herself back to the open door. She glanced around to check whether Marla was anywhere to be seen, and slipped inside.

She found herself in a long corridor, doors leading off left and right. She tried a few - a couple were locked, but most opened onto empty rooms, dusty and unused. No one was going to be living out their fantasy in here, unless they had a thing for janitors.

At the end of the corridor was a staircase. She hesitated, wondering how long she had before Tori got worried. The deeper into the building she went, the greater the risk if she were discovered. She could always claim to be lost, she decided – it was a small but ironic consolation that she was in one of the few places on earth where a half-naked girl wearing a dog collar wouldn't attract attention. She went up the stairs.

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Left to her own devices, Tori drifted through the Club, charming here and dazzling there, revelling in the attention she found. Jade's new appearance and demeanor had turned out to have a knock-on effect on her _own_ reputation - if Tori Vega can dominate _that_ , the implication was, then she must be someone to be reckoned with, and it lent her an edgy and mysterious air that she'd always felt, somehow, she lacked. She pressed on, determined to make the most of it.

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Jade reached the top of the stairs, and pushed gently on a large wooden door, which yielded with a creak. She had no idea what she was looking for, really - an office, maybe, an unlocked computer screen, a client list on a desk. What she wasn't expecting was this. The whole room was filled with row after row of old wooden drawers with little brass handles, some of them tarnished with age, others rubbed bright with use. She went to the nearest one and opened it. Inside were stacks of faded index cards in a handwritten scrawl - names, dates, cross-references in a code that she couldn't understand. Against each name was a capital _'D'_ or a small _'s'_. She looked at the dates. How old was the Club? Some of these went back years. It seemed strangely appropriate to her that a Club whose apparent intention was to roll back the progress of humanity to the Dark Ages should keep its records in such a deliberately archaic way, but also kind of smart - you could never hack into _this_ , you'd have to get through the doors, get past a hundred reinforced corsets, put yourself on the line _in_ _person_ to be here.

She opened drawer after drawer, trying to work out how they were organised, and began to despair as it seemed they were almost random - they seemed to be alphabetical, then there'd be a jump, and she'd open another one to find the same letter would start again. It slowly dawned on her that they were ordered by letter _and_ date, each rack abandoned when it was full and another one started. She found one whose dates tallied with the summer Sally had disappeared and began to work through it until she got to the 'E's...

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"It's Tori, isn't it?" The older woman's smile was predatory, but Tori was having enough trouble trying to keep her in focus to see the warning signs. She hiccupped, and pressed a hand to her mouth, blushing. She shouldn't have had that last drink, she decided. Or the one before that. She didn't want to make a fool of herself.

The woman only laughed. "Don't worry about it," she said. "You're only young once. Enjoy yourself." She pointed towards a booth. "Why don't you come and sit down?"

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There it was. A small, yellow square of card with the words she never thought she'd see again.

 _Sally Easterbrook._

No details, just a small _'s'_ and a date. There was a cross-reference, but Jade wouldn't know where to start, and she was far more disturbed to see that the name had been struck though with a line. That didn't necessarily mean anything, she told herself, firmly. Maybe she just left the Club and they crossed her off their records. She looked closer at the card, and saw that next to the name, underneath the line, there were other letters.

 _T.T._

... and a question mark. She stared at it for a moment, wondering what it meant, until footsteps outside the door reminded her that she was on borrowed time. She stuffed the index card down her pants, thankful that she was wearing slightly more than last time, and crouched down behind the rack, holding her breath until the footsteps passed and disappeared into another room. When she was satisfied she was alone again, she crept through the door and back down the stairs.

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 _...she's going to kill me she's going to kill me she's going to kill me I am so dead..._

 _._

 _._

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Outside the door she scanned the room until she saw Tori, who appeared to be in some distress, hopping from one foot to the other as if she needed to pee. Jade went over to her. "Hey," she said. "Listen. I've found something and-"

Tori turned to her, and the expression on her face hit Jade like a punch in the gut. "Tori, what is it? What's wrong?"

"I..."

"Tori?"

"It was just..."

" _Tori!"_

"I'm so sorry," the girl in the blue dress said, her voice a plaintive whisper. "I've done something stupid."

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	19. Chapter 19 - Snowball

**Just a short one today, we're leading up to the main event. Many thanks to those still reading, all reviews are welcome. Opening lyrics are from 'No Rest' by New Model Army.**

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 _There is no rest for the wicked ones..._

 _Dear God what is this evil that we've done?_

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"What have you _done_ , Tori?"

"Well..." Tori's eyes flickered nervously around the room. "I was just talking to this other woman," she said, "one of the dommes, and I thought she was really nice, and she gave me a drink, and-"

"Stop babbling and get to the point."

"Okay, well, she was going on and on about her sub, Trixie, and how tough she was, how she'd do anything..."

"Yes?"

"So I started saying, well, _you_ were pretty tough, too, right? Because obviously I didn't want her to think you weren't up to it, what with us being undercover and everything... I was really bigging you up, you know, trying to make you sound amazing."

"Yeah. Because if there's one thing in my life that I'm really proud of, my crowning achievement, it's how many times you can hit me before I start to cry."

" _Jade_. So, anyway, then she said she bet Trixie could take double what you could..."

Jade had a horrible feeling she knew where this was going. "And you said...?"

"Well, I was a little bit drunk and everything, and I didn't really know what she meant, and my mom was kicking me under the table, and I..."

Jade closed her eyes for a moment. "You took the bet," she said, quietly.

Tori bit her lip. "Yeah. Kind of..."

"'Kind of'? What do you mean, 'kind of'? Did you or didn't you?"

"Well, yes, but..."

"But what, Tori?" Jade said, dangerously. "What aren't you telling me?"

"I thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad, you know, we'd just do our thing..."

"Our thing? Jesus, Tori, you make it sound like we're a song and dance act. So?" she said. "What's the rest of it?"

"But then she said it wouldn't be fair for us to, you know, _work_ on our own subs, 'cause we could cheat and everything..."

"Oh, God. Tell me you didn't."

"I..." Tori face was a picture of guilt. "Yes," she said, in a tiny voice. "I didn't want to look stupid."

Jade stared at her. "You didn't want to look stupid," she echoed.

"Well... no."

"I see." Jade said. "Well, I can see how that makes sense. We wouldn't want you to look stupid, now, would we?"

"Really?" Tori was relieved. "Man, I thought you'd be..."

"You. Total. Fucking. _Idiot!_ "

Tori cringed.

"Let me get this straight," Jade snarled. "You literally, _literally_ , bet my ass to impress some stupid woman you don't even know? You offered to let someone else _hurt_ me, just to save face in front of this bunch of assholes? Holy fuck, Vega, what is wrong with you?"

"I know, I'm sorry! But listen, it's okay," Tori said. "It'll all be okay, because my mom says you don't have to do it."

"Your _mom_? What's it got to do with her?"

"She says it needs _'extraordinary consent'_ , that's what she was trying to tell me. It's not covered by the rules of the Club. You have to agree. So you can say no." Tori didn't dare look at her. "You know. If you want to."

"If I _want_ to?" Jade scoffed. "Yeah, well, Tori, here's the thing-"

"Ah, there you are," said a voice like honey on a razor blade. "So, are we all set?"

This, Jade guessed, was the offending domme, and she felt a deep and instant loathing for the woman. Somewhere inside her, a small voice said, _don't_ , but it went unheard.

"Well, the thing is..." Tori started.

"Or perhaps your little friend doesn't want to do it," the woman went on smugly. "We can't all command the respect we deserve. Trixie, of course, said yes right away, but then she is _very_ good."

Jade's loathing stepped up several notches.

"I'll just let her know that you can't-"

"How much is the bet?" Jade demanded, suddenly.

Tori blinked. "Um, I think it was a couple of.."

"Five hundred dollars," the woman said smoothly, never taking her eyes off Jade. She smiled. "I know it's only a trifle but-"

"A thousand."

There was a small strangled noise from Tori, and the other domme seemed momentarily taken aback. "Of my own money," Jade added, turning to Tori. "If it please you. _Mistress_." The last word dripped with venom.

"Well," the woman said, recovering her composure. "That's all settled then." She beamed. "I'll make the arrangements." She turned on her heel and strode away.

"A thousand bucks?" Tori was apoplectic. "Are you mad?"

"You started it!"

"I know, but you didn't have to double it! Where am I going to find a thousand bucks?"

"So, what, you're saying I'm going to lose?"

"Why didn't you just say no?"

"Why didn't _you_?"

"Because I'm an idiot! _You're_ supposed to be the smart one."

"And you're supposed to be the one running for membership!" Jade hissed. "We're going to look pretty fucking lame if we turn it down, aren't we? For all you know she's one of the judges. In fact the whole thing's probably a trap."

Tori looked horrified. "You think so?"

"I don't know! But if it is, you just fell right the _fuck_ into it. Sweet Jesus, Tori," she said. "Sometimes I swear you should be on this end of the leash."

Oh, God," Tori wrung her hands. "What are we going to do?"

Jade took a deep breath. "It's going to be fine," she said. "We've got this."

"It's not going to be _fine_ , Jade!" Tori wailed. "It's going to be awful! I can't do this! Not when I know that you..."

"That I what?" Jade said. "That I don't want to do it?"

"Yes!"

A snowflake of anger landed on a hillside already laden with the snows of resentment, and started to roll. _She forgot..._

A passing domme raised an eyebrow at their discussion, and Jade realized this was hardly appropriate behavior in the Club. "This way, Mistress," she muttered, taking Tori respectfully but firmly by the arm and leading her into the corridor out of sight, where she slammed her up against the wall until her teeth rattled.

" _Ow!_ "

"You listen to me, Tori Vega," she said, grinding her teeth. "You made this bet, and now you're going to front up. We are going in there, and you are going to do your _thing_ , and you are going to win me my thousand dollars. Because if you _don't_ , that woman is going to hand me my ass on a china plate and I'm going to have to pay her for the privilege. And if that happens to me, then bad things will happen to you. _Do you understand?_ "

Tori nodded. "Yes," she mumbled.

"Right. Good." Jade relaxed her grip slightly. "Don't worry about me," she said. "I'll do my bit. The old bag doesn't look like she got much strength in her."

"It's not about strength," Tori couldn't help herself. "It's about-"

"You finish that sentence and I will demonstrate the fallacy of it in a thousand slow and painful ways," Jade said, glaring at her. "We are going to do this and we are going to _win_. Anyway," she said, "how tough can a girl called _Trixie_ be? She'll probably some sad-sack little kid who'll run off shrieking at the first-"

"Ladies!" She was interrupted by a tinny voice coming from a speaker in the main hall. "There is to be a contest!" There were whoops and cheers in the background.

"Oh, God," said Jade. "You didn't tell me it was going to be _public_."

"I didn't know!" Tori protested. "She never said anything about that."

"So for the participants and those of you who wish to watch the _proceedings_ ," the voice went on, and a familiar sinking sensation came over Jade. "Please make your way..."

 _Oh, no. Please don't tell me it's going to be in..._

"...to the Red Room."

 _...well, of course it fucking is._ "The Red Room," Jade said, icily. "How nice. It'll be just like old times."

"You can't blame me for them choosing the room!"

"I can blame you for a lot of things, Vega," she said. "I'm only just getting started. Right, I suppose we'd better go."

They were interrupted by the arrival of Holly, with a face like thunder. "I told you not to do this!" she snapped at Tori.

"I'm sorry!"

Holly looked from one girl to the other. "Well?" she said.

Tori just nodded and looked away in embarrassment. Holly's anger subsided a little. "We'll talk about this later." She turned to Jade, and pursed her lips. "Are you going to be okay?"

Jade looked up in surprise. This was the first time Tori's mom had ever shown any concern for her as a human being. "I guess," she said.

"Tori told you that you have to give consent?"

"Yes."

Holly hesitated for a moment, then pulled out a pad and pen. "You need to sign this," she said.

Jade signed the pad and handed it back. "Now what?"

"Go through the corridor next to the Red Room. It'll take you to the changing rooms. There's a connecting door."

"Right." Holly started to leave. "Aren't you going to wish me luck?" Jade said. She'd meant it sarcastically, but to her annoyance it came out rather pitiful.

Holly turned. She glanced at Tori, who's attention during all this had been entirely focused for on a small patch of carpet by her right foot, and then at Jade. "Good luck," she said, quietly, and left the two girls standing alone.

"Well," Jade said, "I suppose we'd better... Tori? Hey, Tori." She nudged her errant domme in the ribs. "We gotta go."

Tori didn't move. Jade sighed. This wasn't over. Not by a long way. The snowball was still rolling, and it had a long way to go. But if they were going to get through tonight, she needed Tori on her side. At least for now. "Come on, Tori," she said. "You and me. We got this. We get in there, we get out, we win a thousand bucks. I might even let you have your half," she offered, generously. "What do you say? Are you ready?"

Tori finally looked up.

... _and all I can see are big sad eyes and long brown hair whipped by the wind..._

"I'm ready," she said.

.

.

.

.

.

 _... see that? She broke her..._

 _... the medic, get the medic..._

 _... damn it Marla, she's starting to..._

 _... leave her..._

 _... we can't just..._

 _... I said_ leave _her. Get the damned medic..._

 _... but..._

 _... it's not that little bitch you need to worry about, Holly, it's..._

 _... oh, God, no..._

 _._

 _._

 _._


	20. Chapter 20 - In the Red Room

**Okay, this was a tricky chapter to write. Some of you might like it, some of you might hate it, some of you might point out, quite rightly, that this is not the way these things work. But as Jade pointed out many chapters ago, we're through the looking-glass here, this is the Diamond Club...**

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They found themselves alone in the dressing room, itself plush and ornately styled. On one wall was a mirror, on another a row of pegs hung with white silk gowns. The robes of the Martyr. Jade took one down and quickly began to take off her outfit. Tori turned away in embarrassment, only to find herself watching Jade in the mirror. She turned to the other wall.

"There's no need to look away, you know. You've seen it all before."

"I know but... Oh."

Jade glanced up to see Tori's gaze directed towards the spot where her tattoo had finally faded. "It wasn't real."

"How did you...?"

"I've known Kim for quite a while. I made arrangements." Tori fell silent for a moment, and Jade knew from her expression that she was replaying the scene in her head, and wondered if it burned her to think of how pompous she'd been in the tattoo parlor, how callously she'd made free with someone else's skin, and whether the humiliation she'd intended _Jade_ to feel was now repaid in spades with the knowledge that they'd been laughing at her all along. She decided not to mention the modification Kim had offered to make to the tattoo. "How long?" she said.

"I don't know," Tori said, quietly, and it was clear that Jade had been right. "I'll go see if they're ready."

Jade watched Tori walk towards the connecting door. "Listen," she called after her. "Will you do me a favor? This Trixie kid, just... try not to go too hard on her, okay? I know you're good at this, but I'd rather lose than..."

"I think you should come see this."

Tori was peering round the door. Jade crossed the room and joined her.

The Red Room was packed. This wasn't just a couple of idle spectators, it seemed as though half the Club was here. The dominant half, Jade noticed. She wondered where the subs were - the shy, silent subs. Little Stephanie was out there, too, somewhere, and it comforted her to think that if anyone could put a bit of life into them it would be her. She harbored a small but fervent hope that when this was over she'd come out of the Red Room to find them all drunk, arms around each other, singing 'Show Me The Way To Go Home' with Stephanie in the lead.

Tori nudged her, and she turned her head to see what she was looking at. In the center of the room was a large, wooden X, shackles attached to each corner, and next to it...

"Oh, God." Trixie, it turned out, was not quite the shrinking violet Jade had envisaged. Trixie was, as Jade would later succinctly put it, 'fucking massive'. She had at least eight inches, thirty pounds, and ten years on Jade, and was practically all muscle. There was no way on earth Tori was going to put a dent in her. Jade quietly closed the door. "That thing I said before?" She muttered. "Scratch that."

Tori watched as Jade walked over to the mirror and looked blankly into it. She looked so small now, shorn of the boots and the outfit, so fragile, that Tori was suddenly struck by the reality of what was about to happen to her. "Let's just _forget_ it, Jade," she blurted out. "Let's just not do it. Let's just walk out of here and go home, get a pizza, watch a movie. We don't need to be here, I don't care if-"

"Tell me I can do this."

"-we don't... What?"

"Tell me... you think... I can _do_ this." Jade was staring at her intently from within the mirror, and Tori realized what was being asked of her. She let her face relax.

"I _know_ you can do it."

Jade took a deep breath and turned, eyes blazing. "Then let's go."

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.

.

 _I'm a lunatic._ Jade thought. _I'm a lunatic surrounded by lunatics. I'm standing here half-naked so that a room full of people can watch me being flogged. This is now, officially, the -_ she did some mental arithmetic _\- fifteenth worst day of my life._

In the Red Room, the crowd were baying for blood. Trixie was already getting into position - it appeared they'd be face to face on either side of the cross - while the other domme, whose name was Danielle, was walking impatiently up and down swishing her arm, as though she were a highly trained athlete warming up, rather than a sad old spinster with a thing for Russian weight-lifters. Despite everything, Jade couldn't help feeling the need to offer up _some_ kind of show, so she came out like a prize-fighter, doing a couple of turns before shrugging the robe off her shoulders, raising an appreciating murmur from the audience at the scars which still showed from her night with Tori.

Tori herself, on the other hand, stood quietly behind Trixie, feeling utterly mortified. _I'm about to hit someone I don't know,_ she thought, miserably _,_ _someone who, in all likelihood, could kill me with her little finger_ , _while the girl who I hope is still my girlfriend is about to get thrashed by a stranger. Well done, Tori, you ass_.

Jade allowed them to lock her into position, wrists and ankles mirroring Trixie's, feet on the blocks they'd put down to match the heights of the two women. Now that she was here, she felt a lot more vulnerable than she'd expected. This was streets away from being tied to a bed in private. She focused instead on her opponent. "Hi," she said, brightly. "How's it going?"

Trixie said nothing. It seemed she was the strong, silent type. Jade sighed, and steeled herself for the torture to come.

But first, there was a different torture. There were The Rules.

"Welcome to the Red Room!" said the reedy, nasal voice of someone who loved to read out small print. "We have a contest tonight between Mistress Tori and Mistress Danielle." _Nice_ , thought Jade. _We don't even get a mention_. "Ladies, these are the rules under which you will compete..."

It turned out there were a _lot_ of rules. "... you may choose any implement from this rack only. You may not strike above the neck, you may not strike below the knee. You may not touch the sub with your hands or interfere with them in any way. This is a contest of endurance only. You will not strike to cause damage..."

And on it went. "... the safeword for tonight is 'Red'. For the purposes of the contest there is no 'Amber' safeword. The contest will begin when I blow this whistle, and end when either sub calls out the safeword or the referee judges it's unsafe to continue. There will be a break every fifteen minutes..."

She found herself almost wishing that they'd forgo all the safety considerations just to escape the incredible tedium of this woman's voice, but at the same time she was surprised that the Club went to all this trouble. But then, rules were what they lived for. She looked at Tori to see that she'd chosen a standard crop, her favorite, the kind that Jade knew well. She couldn't see behind her to see what Danielle had chosen. Probably some kind of chainsaw.

"...on my whistle. Are you ready?"

It appeared they were. And so it began.

.

.

.

 _Crack._

Tori had been right. It wasn't about strength, it was about technique. And Danielle was very, very good. Jade did her thing, and went to the happy place, but it was hard to stay there as the end of the whip sought out her weak points. She focused hard - Venice Beach, with Sal, running in the sunshine, flicking blobs of ice-cream at each other and giggling, a scene that had helped her through many an episode with Tori, but it wasn't holding up as well as she'd hoped under Danielle's onslaught.

 _Crack._

But Tori was good, too - she wasn't as theatrical about it as Danielle was, but each blow caused the other sub to give out a grunt of pain. Maybe they were more evenly matched than she'd thought. Maybe.

 _Crack._

A particularly sharp stroke caught Jade across a shoulder blade that she'd mistakenly left exposed, and she almost cried out. She quickly straightening her back to offer as flat a surface as possible, to try and put as much flesh between the whip and her bones as possible, and twisted a shackle tightly around her little finger to offer a compensating pain she could control.

 _Crack._

Blow for blow. Lash for lash. The minutes ticked by. The pain was starting to come in waves now, each one crashing across Jade's back a little further, like the tide coming in, and the sandbank of happy memories was slowly washing away. It soon became apparent that Trixie's cries were just a coping mechanism - Jade was taking each lash in silence, absorbing all the pain, while the other sub was lessening the impact, exhaling the effort like a tennis player. Tori wasn't hurting her at all, she could keep this up all day.

 _Crack._

Jade found herself having to seriously consider, for the first time, the possibility that she might _lose_. Her back was ablaze with pain, and only the distraction of trying to think her way out of it was keeping her in the game. She couldn't lose. Not to this woman. She'd succumbed once, and _only_ once, since Echo Lake, and that had been to Tori. To use the safeword here would put Danielle on a par with her, and that was never going to happen. She gritted her teeth as another blow landed, and studied her opponent.

 _Crack._

Trixie's face never moved. Even her grunts came out through her nose. Her eyes were locked open, gazing into the distance, and Jade wondered if Trixie had a happy place. But the creasing of her brow said something else. She was concentrating. Hard.

 _Crack._

 _Crack._

 _Crack._

Jade thought she was going to melt by the time the interval call came, but, just before it did, Tori swung upwards, and for the first time Trixie flinched.

And Jade saw it.

.

.

.

Tori was frantic by the time they got into the dressing room. "Oh _God_ , I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"

"I'm just peachy," Jade groaned. It wouldn't do to put Tori off her stride now. "You're doing great."

"You really think so?" Tori seemed doubtful.

"Yeah, just..." Jade took a few deep breaths. "Work on her lower left side. That last shot really got to her."

"I can't believe I'm doing this."

"Neither can I. Oh, for... Don't start crying, Tori, that's the last thing we need."

"I'm sorry, I can't help it."

"This is _your_ thing, Tori. You should be in your element here. You've practiced on other girls before me."

"It's not me I'm bothered about! It's having to watch _you_ and that awful woman."

"I'll be fine. Please. You just concentrate on... Damn. That's the call. We're back on."

.

.

.

They retook their positions. Jade was dreading the first stroke when it came, the first touch on her raw, burning back. But at least now she had something else to think about. It was time to go on the offensive. She leaned her head closer to Trixie's. "Hey," she said, conversationally. "Are we having fun yet?"

 _Crack._

"You know, there's no reason you and I can't be friends. We're both in the same game, after all, right? Even if we're on different teams." Trixie ignored her, although Jade thought she detected a slight twitch in her right eye.

 _Crack._

"This must be quite a change for you," Jade went on, ignoring the searing pain in her back. "I mean, your old girl's good and everything, but she doesn't really have the heft anymore. But Tori there, well, she's quite something when she gets going. She's just getting warmed up now."

 _Crack._

Still nothing, but the set of Trixie's mouth seemed grimmer, more strained. "You know, you should relax into it a bit more, drop your shoulders. You're not really feeling the benefit."

 _Crack._

"How about a little side bet, hmm? You and me. Fifty bucks. Or maybe you don't have your own money. How about loser washes the winner's butt-plug for a week?"

 _Crack._

 _Crack._

 _Crack._

 _Fuck, that was a bad one_. She began to wonder whether Trixie spoke any English, most people by now would have given up and got off the bus to avoid her. If she was going to break the other sub's concentration, she was going to have to work harder.

 _Crack._

Tori caught another upstroke, and Trixie's teeth began to grind. But Jade was feeling it too now, and there was no ignoring the pain this time. The strokes were becoming wilder as both Danielle and Tori began to tire - Jade knew that she had to do _something_ , and she only had one thing left. She didn't want to do it. She didn't want to go back there. But she had nothing left.

 _Crack._

She rammed her mouth close to Trixie's ear, and took a deep breath. "Have you ever been," she said, "to a place called Echo Lake?"

 _Crack._

 _Crack._

 _Crack._

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Holly Vega looked on in disbelief. She'd seen these contests before, of course, but always between established members, never between a senior member and a novice, someone who hadn't even been accepted yet. It was just too dangerous, too easy for an inexperienced domme to get carried away, too easy for people to start flinging lawsuits around before the Club had them under proper control. Danielle's conduct had been disgraceful, goading Tori into something like this, and Tori had been reckless to accept. She was staggered that it had gone on this long. Tori was good - after all, she'd trained her herself - but Danielle and Trixie were both seasoned veterans of the Club, and they'd done this before. Trixie was one of the few subs that even Marla left alone. Trixie was made of steel.

But Trixie seemed to be suffering now. She flinched as Tori struck her, but then she flinched away from Jade, too. There was clearly something else in play. Jade's head was bowed low across the X, close to Trixie's, and from this angle it looked as though she was... _talking?_

.

.

.

 _Crack._

Trixie _was_ suffering, that much was true, but it had very little to do with Tori. Because Trixie was trapped in _Jade's_ world, now, and Jade's world was not a pleasant place to be. Jade's world was a place of endless torment and existential despair, and Trixie couldn't escape it, no matter how hard she tried.

( _...as they dragged me into the woods...)_

 _Crack._

Nothing else seemed to exist for her - not the Club, not the Red Room, not Tori and Danielle, just the dull agony in her back and the pair of jet-black lips whispering in her ear, filling her mind with darkness, dragging her further and further towards the edge of the abyss. Taking her away, taking her deeper, deeper into the woods.

 _(...no mercy, screaming, broken...)_

 _Crack._

Taking her to Echo Lake.

( _...wanted to die, ripped open...)_

 _Crack._

And not the sanitized version that Jade had given to Tori, either, but the real one, in every grim and graphic detail, every rose thorn hammered under the fingernails, every suffocating moment face down in the swamp, every twist of the broken bottle and blood running down the inside leg. Jade's morbid, filthy tale of the depths of human cruelty slowly turned her inside out _._

 _(...in pain and it never stopped...)_

 _Crack_.

 _Crack._

 _Crack._

 _"...can you imagine that, Trixie?"_ the voice in her ear continued, low and grating. _"Can you? Over and over again. Day after day. You know nothing about pain, Trixie. Nothing. We can stand here like this for a thousand years, you and I, but you will never, ever-"_

" _Gah!"_ The roar was deep and guttural, almost deafening. "Red!" Trixie snarled. " _Red_ , for fuck's sake! Get her _away_ from me!"

The whistle blew. "Safeword!"

Jade could sense movement and shouting behind her as she slumped forward, drained, thankful it was all over.

But it wasn't. Not quite. As she turned her head in triumph, looking for Tori to release her, Danielle brought down one final, frustrated blow, hard across her face.

The was a sickening crunch. "Danielle!" Holly barked. The older domme dropped the whip, backing away in disgust at the frozen faces of the crowd, and fled.

"Oh my God! _Jade!_ " Tori rushed to her side, decorum abandoned as she clawed at the shackles for all she was worth. "Are you all right?"

"No I'm not fucking all right!" Jade spat through a mouthful of blood. "I think she broke my _jaw_."

"Come on, let's get you out of here." Tori threw the robe over her, and bundled her away into the dressing room, kicking the door shut behind her. She led her over to the sink, where Jade hawked and coughed until she thought she might puke. There was a rattle as a tooth disappeared down the plug hole. "Great."

Tori turned on both taps, and Jade splashed water across her face, wincing where it hit the broken skin, swilling her mouth out. She didn't dare look in the mirror, but turned instead to Tori for assessment.

Tori's eyes went wide and she silently put a hand over her mouth. Jade turned back to the mirror.

Apart from the missing tooth, there was a long red welt leading from the corner of her mouth where her lip was split open, and leading up to her ear. Blood still seeped from the wound and trickled down her check, where it now mingled with the tears she found were flowing freely down her face.

"Look at me," she whispered.

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" _I would never hurt you," the woman said. "You do understand that, don't you, Sally?"_

" _Yes, Mistress."_

" _It's just that I want you to be careful. There are people out there in the shadow world who would. People who take it too far. People who stop seeing the person inside."_

" _I understand, Mistress."_

" _... People who forget who you are."_

 _._

 _._

 _._


	21. Chapter 21 - And Justice For All

**Hey, we're back. We've had a power cut for a few days so I've had to write this with a quill pen by the light of a candle.**

 **As always, please feel free to review…**

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" _Look_ at me, Tori! Oh, God, what am I going to tell my mom and dad?" Jade stared at herself in the dressing room mirror.

"It's not as bad as it looks!"

"Really? And you're a fucking expert are you? Jesus Christ, that's my whole _career_ down the pan. I look like the fucking Joker."

"Jade! It's not-"

They were interrupted by the appearance of an older woman in a white coat. She nodded to Tori, and turned to Jade. "Sit down."

Jade did so, reluctantly. The woman held her by the chin and pulled down her lip to expose the gap in her teeth, then poked at the mark on her face. "I've seen worse," she said to Tori. "She won't need stitches." She began to clean and dress the wound.

The woman's total indifference to her left Jade feeling like a dog at the vets. "Will there be a scar?" Tori said.

The woman tilted Jade's head from side to side and frowned. "Shouldn't think so," she said. "But you'll have to keep it clean. It's going to leave a mark for a while."

Her words were brusque and uncaring, but Jade found them oddly reassuring. This woman must see more of these injuries than most doctors, and she had no reason to lie. Assuming she actually _was_ the medic, and not just some passing weirdo with a medical fetish.

She finished dressing Jade's face. "Hold out your right arm."

"What?"

"Your arm."

"There's nothing wrong with my arm. It's fine."

"Just do it."

Jade reluctantly stuck out her right arm. The woman fumbled in her pocket and drew out a syringe and a small plastic bottle. Jade couldn't read the label, catching sight only of a capital _'T'_.

"Whoa, wait a minute," she said. "What's that?"

"Pain relief." The woman tore open the syringe.

"I don't need any-"

"Hold still."

"No!"

The woman stopped and looked at Tori. "Tell her."

Jade's expression said _don't_. "She doesn't want it," she said.

"She _has_ to have it. Club rules."

But Tori had had enough of Club rules. "She doesn't _have_ to do anything," she snapped. "And if you go anywhere near her with that needle I'll ram it in your eye."

The look on the woman's face was so perfect that Jade almost forgave Tori there and then. For a moment it looked as though she might make a grab for Jade's arm, but they were interrupted by the entrance of Holly.

"Is everything..." She tailed off as she caught sight of the medic. "What the hell are you doing?" she demanded.

"Marla's orders. She has to have-"

These words had an electrifying effect on Holly. " _Marla?_ " she snarled. "She told you to do this?"

"Yes, I thought-"

"Get out!"

"But Marla said-"

"Get _out!_ I'll deal with Marla." The woman fled, and the girls watched as Holly exhaled, slowly, bringing her anger back under control. She turned to Jade.

"Are you all right?" she said.

"Why, yes, Holly," Jade said, flatly. "I'm absolutely fine. I've had a lovely evening. We must do it again sometime."

Holly ignored the dripping sarcasm. "I'm sorry," she said. "That shouldn't have happened. Danielle was out of order."

"Really? Well I'm sure she'll be suitably punished. What will she have to do? Bake the cakes for the society picnic?"

"She'll go before the committee. Her privileges will be reduced."

"I'll bet. She'll still have the privilege of having all her own teeth, though, won't she? Unless I meet her in a back alley one night."

"Jade-"

"Where is she, anyway? I need to collect."

"We don't know," Holly admitted. "Nobody's seen her."

"Well that's just great," Jade said, bitterly. "So now my face is fucked up and I don't even get my money."

"The Club will cover your bet, Jade," Holly said. "Until we can recover it from Danielle. We'll also cover any... medical costs."

Jade knew what that meant. Surgery. There was no guarantee the medic had been right.

"And of course, I might be able to arrange some kind of compensation..."

"I don't want _your_ money, Holly, I just want what's owed."

"Look, Jade, I know you think that this is normal for us," Holly said, sharply, "but it isn't. Everybody tonight behaved appallingly." She glared at Tori. "Me included. I should have stopped it."

"So why didn't you?"

"Would you have wanted me to?"

The question was unexpected. Would she have? Despite everything, she'd accepted the bet on her own terms. Would she have wanted someone else - even worse, someone else's _mom_ \- to step in and save her?

 _...won't let the big girls hurt me anymore..._

Holly rose, fractionally, in Jade's estimation, but she wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of knowing that. "How's Trixie?" she said, instead.

"She's... She'll be fine."

"Good."

"What did you do to-?"

Jade ignored the question. "Tori?"

Tori, wrapped in her own misery, suddenly started into life. "Hmm? What?"

"Take me home."

"Oh, yeah. Right." She turned to her mom. "Can we take the car, or are you coming with us?" There was a note of pleading in her voice.

I'll have Simon bring it around to the side. You can slip out quietly through the-"

"What? No!" Jade said.

"But I thought you wanted to leave?"

"I do, but I'm sure as hell not leaving without my fifteen minutes of fame."

"You can't be serious."

"We won, Tori," Jade said. "We _won_. We're not skulking away so nobody has to see us." She got to her feet and started, slowly, to get dressed. "We're going out there and we're going to face everybody and we're going to _look_ like we won." She pulled the straps over her shoulders and winced, grateful that she hadn't made her outfit any more elaborate. "Pass me those nails."

"Ow. These are sharp. Where did you get these?"

"They were holding up your garden fence." Jade twisted her hair up and slid them, crosswise, into the bun.

"So what's holding it up now?"

"Um…"

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.

.

Five minutes later, hair and make-up fixed, they stood by the door.

"How do I look?" Jade said.

"Terrifying."

"Good."

"So... How do I look?"

"Like an inconsiderate asshole."

"Jade!"

"Just saying."

"That's mean."

" _'Sometime I can be a bitch, and sometimes I very much like to be'_ ," Jade mocked her in her sing-song 'Tori' voice. "Well, guess what, Tori, sometimes _I_ can be a bitch, and sometimes _I_ very much like to be," she said. "And this is one of those times."

Tori folded her arms, sulkily.

"What? Jesus, for somebody whose hobby it is to treat people like shit, you're a little oversensitive. Right. Fine," she sighed. "You look great. Amazing. Super hot."

"Really?"

"Don't push it, Tori, I'm in a lot of pain here."

"Sorry."

"Okay. Game face on. We just won a thousand bucks, and right now we're the hottest thing in here, so let's make the most of it before the adrenaline wears off and I realize how much this _really_ hurts. We're going to go out there, knock 'em dead, grab the money and run, got it?"

"Got it."

"Good. Let's go."

.

.

.

They strode out into the Club in perfect formation, Tori upright and composed, Jade to the left and one step back, head held high, the picture of dignified obedience. There was a hush at their entrance. Word had passed to those who hadn't been in the Red Room, and they glided past expressions of grudging admiration and open envy, past the pale and silent faces of the member subs, past the couple of new girls still stifling shocked giggles and nudging each other. Jade gave Stephanie a sly wink of reassurance, and without thinking the younger girl grinned and started to clap. It earned her a rebuke from her mistress, but it started a small fire of applause, which slowly spread until Jade felt as though she were about to receive an Oscar. They reached the bar, where Holly, with some ceremony, handed Tori an envelope with their money in it. A low growl in her ear was enough, and without taking her eyes off her mom, Tori passed the envelope over her shoulder to Jade, who plucked it from her fingers and slid it inside her top. "Thank you, Mistress," she purred.

"Well," Tori said brightly, to the room in general, "I think that's enough for tonight. Is the car ready?"

Holly nodded, and the two girls turned and sailed gracefully away towards the door.

Or they would have done. Not everyone was so willing to let them go.

"You little bitch!"

Danielle was drunk, very drunk, and angry with it. "What did you _do?_ "

Tori stood, speechless. "I-"

"You cheated! You and your little tramp. You're not even a _member_. What have you got her on?"

"What do you mean?"

"Danielle!" Holly's voice was heavy with threat. But it was too late. Danielle's arm drew back, and time stood still for Tori.

 _She's going to hit me,_ she thought. _She's going to hit me in front of all these people. And I don't know what to do._

What had Jade said? _You lead me right and I'll take a bullet for you._ But she hadn't led her right, had she? She hadn't led her right at all. And now she was going to pay the price. She closed her eyes, and let it come.

.

.

.

She opened them a second later to see the older domme's hand an inch from her face, halted, curiously immobile. Jade's arm had snapped out like a whip to meet it, catching it easily by the wrist. Danielle's outrage was instantaneous.

"How dare you!"

There was gasp from the crowd, now eager to see how this new entertainment would pan out. Apart from her arm, Jade had remained motionless, rigidly at attention, her other hand still clenched behind her back, and the three of them stood frozen in an angry tableau.

And then Jade started to squeeze.

"What are you…" Danielle squealed, in shock.

Jade still didn't move, but her jaw locked as every muscle in her body, every tendon and sinew, strained to put as much pressure into the grip as possible.

"Let go of me!"

Tighter.

"Stop that, you little…"

 _Tighter._

" _No!_ "

Slowly Danielle began to crumble, bending lower and lower, her cries of outrage turning into moans of pain as the bones in her arm began to grind together. No one seemed able or willing to intervene, and belatedly she put up a fight, clawing at Jade's fingers, drawing blood with her nails. But Jade only increased the pressure, fired by her own implacable fury, and soon Danielle began to fold up, Jade's grasp following her further and further down as she collapsed to the floor, until at last there was nothing but a whimper, nothing but a sobbing heap at Tori's feet.

"… _please..."_

Tori knew she had to do something. She'd called this play by not defending herself, and now she had to finish it. "Enough," she said quietly.

Jade kept her grip, but didn't tighten it any further. Tori bent at the waist to bring her face close to Danielle's, as if addressing a small child. She paused until she had the other woman's full attention.

"If you ever try that again," she said, icily, "I'll let her break your arm."

She straightened, nodded to herself as though in approval, and before anyone else could say anything, turned on her heel. "Jade," she snapped. "Come."

Jade remained barely a moment longer, just long enough to let Danielle catch her eye for the first time, just long enough to let the woman see the small, almost imperceptible smirk of distain on her face. The she released her, letting her fall heavily to the floor, and turned smartly to follow her mistress out of the door.

.

.

.

No one rushed to help Danielle. A kind of force field of collective shame existed around her; no one knew whether to be embarrassed _for_ her or _by_ her. It was left to the only person who really cared, the only one who'd forgive. Trixie - strong, silent Trixie - bent and lifted her weeping lover off the floor, carrying her easily in her arms as though she weighed nothing at all.

"Take her home," Holly said, quietly. "I'll send your car round to the back."

Trixie nodded, and made her way through the room, the crowd falling back to let her pass.

Holly watched them go, and heard a voice behind her.

"This isn't good, Holly," Marla said.

Holly didn't turn, didn't trust herself to keep her temper. "How _could_ you, Marla?" she hissed.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"The medic!"

"I thought she might need help."

"Don't give me that!" Holly finally turned on her. "Good God, Marla, what is _wrong_ with you? Right in front of my own _daughter_ , for Christ's sake. Do you have any idea what that would have done to her?"

"I forgot, that's all," Marla said indifferently. "Anyway, no harm done."

"No harm done? You nearly-"

"It was a _mistake_." She looked at Holly, coldly. "And we all make mistakes, don't we?"

.

.

.

… _it's not her, Holly, it's the other one…_

… _it's Caroline…_

… _oh God…_

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _There's something wrong with the subs._


	22. Chapter 22 - After The Ball Was Over

**So, here we go, a little further into the story. Hope you're all still with it, thanks to those that have reviewed, I appreciate it.**

 **UPDATE: Enough people have tried to guess what's going on that I'm afraid there'll be an angry mob when the truth comes out (albeit a very small angry mob)...**

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _"I'm so sorry, Mistress. It was an accident, I didn't mean to."_

 _"Hush, Sally. It's all right."_

 _"Was it valuable?"_

 _The woman looked at the shattered glass. "This?" she said. "No."_

 _She dismantled the frame and gently removed the photograph, tracing a finger across it._

 _"Is that you?" the girl asked. The woman nodded. "You were pretty. I mean, not that you're not..." She blushed, awkwardly._

 _The woman smiled at her discomfort. "You don't need to flatter me, Sally. I know I'm not seventeen anymore."_

 _"I know, but..." The girl looked closer at the picture. "Who is she? The other girl?"_

 _The woman's smile faded. "She was a friend," she said, quietly. "A very dear friend."_

.

.

.

The cool night air hit Tori like a bludgeon, knocking the wind out of her as it stripped away the unreality of the past few hours. Outside the club it was different, outside there was no comforting aura of dominance and approval to counteract the feeling of guilt. Outside, there was just her. And Jade.

The other girl had walked away from her a few paces, and stood with her back to her, unmoving, apart from the rise and fall of her shoulders as she breathed deeply in - what? Anger? Relief? Tori felt herself shaking, the composure she'd shown in the face of Danielle's assault collapsing at the memory of what had nearly happened, what _would_ have happened if Jade hadn't stepped in to save her.

"Jade?" There was no answer. _She didn't do it to save you,_ her conscience said. _She did it to hurt Danielle. If it had been anyone else, she would have let you fall_. "Jade?" Her voice was almost a croak. "Talk to me?"

Jade spoke. "I gave you total control," she said, distantly.

"I'm _so_ sorry, I just-"

"That was the deal. You had total control from the minute we crossed the threshold."

The implication of that was obvious. Now they were outside, that control had ended. She wondered for a moment if Jade would actually take it out on her there and then, beat her to a pulp in the parking lot. "I know."

"And what did I tell you before we did this?"

"Don't fuck it up," Tori said miserably.

"Before that."

"We're.. an army of two?"

"Before that. In your bedroom. Do you remember?"

Tori struggled to recall the conversation. "I don't really..."

"I _told_ you," Jade said, "to go with what looks _good_."

"Well, yes, but-"

"Did you see their _faces_?" Jade turned, and a horrible grin split her face, made uglier by the welt across her cheek. "Did you _see_ them?"

"What?"

She stared at Tori, her eyes glittering with an unhealthy fire. "We blew away a whole club full of people in there!" she said, with a terrifying glee. "All of them! Your mom, Marla, _everybody!_ That bitch Danielle, man, she's gonna think twice about fucking with us again." She began to pace up and down, fists clenched. "Let's see them turn us down _now,"_ she laughed, bitterly. "Let's hear them say we're not tough enough to be in their stupid little gang."

"Jade..."

"Let's hear those rancid bitches say we didn't pass the fucking test _this_ time," she went on, oblivious to Tori's interjection. "Never mind _interviews_ , and _questions_ , and prancing about like a fucking clown on the end of a string. _This_ is where it's at, Tori," she said, spinning back to face her, eyes wide and burning. "Right here! We showed _them_ who's in control, we showed them who knows about _pain_. We stood right up there and-"

" _Jade!_ "

Jade seemed to register her for the first time. "What?"

Tori was almost afraid to ask. "Are you mad with me?"

She had Jade's full attention now, and she began to wish she'd kept her mouth shut. "Am I mad with you?" Jade said, quietly, advancing on her. "Am I _mad_ with you?"

"Yes...?"

"Do you _think_ I should be mad with you?" Jade's voice was deathly calm. The distance between them was only a few feet.

"I don't know!"

The distance closed suddenly, as Jade's hands clamped either side of Tori's head, her eyes flickering across her face. And then Tori found herself crashing back against the wall for the second time that night, but this time Jade's lips were pressed painfully against hers, the other girl's knee wedged hard up between her thighs. Her brief yelp of surprise was muffled by Jade's low growl as their lips parted for a second.

"Just you wait till I get you home, _Vega_." She dug her teeth into Tori's neck.

With an effort Tori wrenched her head to one side. "Stop!" she said. " _Please_."

Jade pulled back, stung by the urgency in her voice. "What?"

"I can't."

Jade stared at her for a moment, and touched a finger to her wound. "Is it this?" she said, in disbelief. "What? Am I repulsive now?"

"No!"

"Then what?"

"It's just..." Tori bit her lip. "You're frightening me."

Jade stepped back, stunned, her hands falling back to her sides. "I _frighten_ you?"

"Well, it's just… you're all riled up, and I don't know if you're mad at me, and I don't want to get hurt…"

"I'm sorry," Jade said. "Oh _God_ , I'm sorry, I didn't mean... I never..." She started to sway gently. "I don't want you to-"

Her legs gave way, as the long night caught up with her at last, and she collapsed, ungracefully, even as the other girl stepped forward to catch her in her arms.

.

.

.

Holly left the Diamond Club in a state of cold fury. Marla was going to pay for this somehow. After tonight's events, everyone was going to pay for something. She was even more determined now to fulfil her obligation, to see it through, and if that involved taking down Marla, then so much the better. Everything was wrong now, everything. She touched the tattoo on her arm. _What would you think of me, Caroline? I thought I was doing the right thing. And I've only made it worse._

Maybe she should just send them away, leave them be. Maybe that would be for the best.

But then, would it ever end? She thought of Jade and Tori in the Club. In the Club where they _had_ to be.

Maybe there was another way.

.

.

.

 _"What happened?"_

 _The woman sighed. "We had a disagreement," she said. "Things were complicated. Her mother was very strict."_

 _"Didn't she approve?" the girl asked. "You know, of your... lifestyle?"_

 _The woman laughed, a tinkling, crystalline sound that the girl thought was the most beautiful thing she'd ever heard. "You could say that, Sally," she said. "You could say that. She certainly disapproved of us."_

 _There was silence for a moment._

 _"Do you still see her?"_

 _"I haven't seen her in a long, long time."_

 _"Oh." The girl shuffled her feet, steeling herself to ask the next question._

 _"Mistress?"_

 _"Yes?"_

 _"Am I... to be punished?"_

 _"For this?"_

 _The girl nodded._

 _"No," the woman shook her head. "I'd never punish you in the shadow world for something that happened in the real world, Sally." She looked again, sadly, at the photograph. "That way lies a pain you can't control."_

.

.

.

Holly opened the door to find a distraught Tori trying to hold up a slowly disintegrating Jade. "Mom!" Tori said. "Help me."

She grabbed Jade's other arm and put it around her shoulder, and between them they made it across to the car, as Simon hastily crushed out a cigarette and opened the door for them. They bundled Jade inside and climbed in afterwards. "Home."

The car set off, it's lights springing into life. The two sat side by side, Jade stretched across the other seat. Tori looked nervously at Jade. "Do you think she's going to be all right?"

"She's probably just exhausted," Holly said. A faint snore interrupted them. "She's sleeping, not unconscious."

"Are you sure?"

"I think so," Holly said. "But we need to get her to bed." She peeled off her gloves. "That was stupid."

"I know, Mom."

"What the hell were you playing at? You've only just got the girl back, you can't afford to take risks with her."

"I said I _know!_ Don't you think I've been hearing it for the last two hours?"

"Who from?"

"Who do you think?"

"She said that? While you were in there?"

"Yes."

"But she still went ahead with it."

"I _told_ her she could say no."

" _You_ should have said no!" Holly snapped. "She's supposed to be your sub, and sometimes I think even _I_ know her better than you do. Telling her she doesn't have to do something because it might be too _hard_ is like a red rag to a bull. She's never said no to _anything._ Even when you screwed up and left her tied to the bed, she was the one who wanted to carry on."

Tori, of course, knew why, but that didn't make it any better. "I _know._ I messed up, Mom," she whined. "What should I do?"

"We'll discuss it later."

"But-"

"I _said_ , we'll discuss it later."

.

.

.

They reached the house, and with the assistance of a stoic Simon, carried a semi-conscious Jade into the house. "Take her to bed," Holly ordered. "I'll ring her dad in the morning, explain that she had an accident at our house, try and play it down. It might not look so bad tomorrow. Come on, I'll give you a hand."

"No," Tori said. "I should... I have to do this myself."

"Don't be stupid, Tori. You can't carry her up the stairs."

"I have to."

She put one arm behind Jade's back, and reached down to scoop up her legs with the other. Jade was remarkably light, lighter than she'd expected, but it was still a struggle. She reached the foot of the stairs, and began to climb them, one at a time, knowing that she was being ridiculous but feeling some small sense of atonement from the ache in her arms, the effort of each step. As she reached the top, Jade's eyes flickered open briefly, catching hers. Tori couldn't say what she saw there, but it was enough for her to make it to the bedroom, kicking open the door, and while Jade's arrival on the bed was less than dignified, it was, at least, honestly achieved.

She began to undress the sleeping girl, taking care to avoid snagging the buckles of her outfit on her sore back, and slowly slipped off what there was of it. She caught a glimpse of a fashion store label, from a place that certainly didn't sell this kind of thing. _She made this herself. She designed it to look exactly the way she wanted_. She wondered where the nails had really come from - their fence still seemed to be standing. She folded the outfit onto a chair, noticing it seemed bulkier than it looked. The money of course.

She reached down and pulled out the envelope, and with it came a small cardboard rectangle. She turned it over.

 _Sally Easterbrook - T.T?_

Crossed out. This was what Jade must have found in the Club. Tori hadn't even given her the chance to show it to her, she'd been too busy fucking everything up. She flipped it over again, and tried to read what was on the other side, but Jade began to stir, so she stuffed it back into the hidden pocket, put the money in a drawer, and tucked Jade into bed, sliding in beside her so as not to wake her. It would do in the morning.

.

.

.

 _Jade West dreamed. She was flying, weightless, skimming over the tops of the trees, the sun still warm on her face, a faint moon heralding the evening. And then the light began to fade and the warmth disappeared, and it grew darker and darker, until she looked up, and where the sun and the moon should have been there was just a pair of dark, brown eyes._

 _And down below her, in the woods, she could see it happening, but this time it was different. This time there were two girls tied to the tree. And one of them... one of them was laughing._

.

.

.

Tori Vega didn't dream. Tori Vega didn't sleep. She lay there, silently, listening to the sound of Jade's rhythmic breathing, her stomach knotted and aching. _I let her down_ , she thought _. I've let them all down_. She glanced at the clock. One in the morning. It was time. She slipped out of bed and padded carefully down the stairs.

She didn't bother to dress.

.

.

.

 _She kneels before the long mirror, candle to the left, sad Cybele to the right, her threefold braids a curse, her kiss like a scorpion's touch._

And this is how it begins. As it always begins.

You've been a bad girl. I'm very disappointed in you.

 _Please, no…_

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _One._

 _._

 _Two._

 _._

 _Three…_

 _._

 _._

 _._


	23. Chapter 23 - Out Of Her System

**Okay, so let's see whether Tori's going to get off lightly, or whether she's going to rue the day she ever set foot in the Diamond Club…**

 **Many thanks to Max Tomos for the scene of Tori tending to Jade.**

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.

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Holly Vega sank back on the bed. Her husband was still working the night shift, or at least she assumed he was. She suspected he was having an affair, but it didn't really bother her, much - he'd never really taken to her lifestyle, the brief experimentation phase had closed shortly after she fell pregnant with Trina and actually running The Club took up so much of her time that she'd long since given up indulging in the pleasures of someone else's flesh. She'd given up indulging in anything much. Except this.

She bared her arm, and looked at the pale skin. Against it, the tattoo stood out sharply, in simple black Latin. It seemed to itch more, these days, as if it was trying to tell her something, as if _she_ was trying to tell her something. She tapped the syringe a couple of times. _Talk to me, Caroline. I'm here._

 _Totus Tuus._

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.

.

Tori lay awake, uncomfortable in every sense. Her back ached painfully, but her brain was more concerned with what kind of world she'd created for herself. Or rather, what kind of world she'd find herself in when Jade woke up.

She'd always been a little bit afraid of Jade. Not _terrified_ , no matter what people thought, but nervously fascinated by the intensity of her, the unpredictability - her ability to change persona instantly, to flip from friendship to fury without warning, to demand things of her and yet make her grateful for anything in return. She'd fantasized sometimes about what it would be like to actually _be_ with her, to be more than just the object of her anger, to find out whether the rewards would be worth the danger.

And then her mom had told her that Jade was secretly _submissive_ , that she'd fall as soon as she was pushed, and for one glorious moment it seemed as though all her dreams had come true - that _she_ could be in control, _she_ could decide, she could have all the benefits without any of the risks. She could eradicate the side of Jade she didn't like and keep the rest to herself.

But of course, it didn't work like that, did it? Her attempts to break Jade's personality apart had only resulted in the unfortunate Nietzschean nightmare she was faced with now, a Jade that was somehow _stronger_ than before, a Jade that she'd inadvertently forged into the very opposite of what she'd wanted - the original Jade but turned up to eleven, raw, angry, and potentially intensely pissed at her. The Jade that she'd seen outside the Club. The _real_ Jade.

By seeking control she's somehow found herself almost entirely in the hands of the other girl, and now she had to decide whether that was what she wanted. What she could _deal_ with. If Jade opened her eyes in anger, what then? Run away? Call it off? Or grit her teeth and take what was coming? _Sometimes I think you're on the wrong end of the leash_ , Jade had said, and Tori wasn't entirely convinced she'd meant it as a joke.

And so she lay there, second after second, minute after minute, staring at the ceiling - until, just as she thought she was going to be deafened by the sound of her own heartbeat, the answer to what kind of world this was came in a single, soft word.

"Hi."

.

.

.

"I'm sorry." Tori dabbed at Jade's cheek with the antiseptic.

Jade winced. "That's the fifth time you've said that this morning. It's getting annoying. How many more times are you going to say it?"

"Until you believe me."

"I _do_ believe you."

"You don't _look_ like you believe me. You look kind of mad."

"I look like this because that stuff stings like crazy. I'm not mad. Well, not in that sense, anyway."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! Look, I'm not angry with you. Well, I am, but... No. I'm angry at _myself_. I'm angry at Danielle. I'm angry at the whole damned Club, I'm angry because any of this is even happening."

"You know, we can always quit. If you wanted to end it right now, I'd quit the club. Just walk away."

"I know you would. That's why I'm not mad."

"Do you want to?"

"The truth?" Jade said. "Yes, I want to. But I can't. I've got to know. If you want to walk away, if you can't do this, I won't hold it against you."

"Shh. Don't move." Tori pressed the cotton wool to Jade's face.

"Tori?"

"Mmm hmm?"

"What you're doing now, cleaning my wounds... I like it. I like it when you take care of me."

"I'm glad."

"Don't get used to it, though. I don't intend to make it a habit."

Tori rolled her eyes. "Why do you always have to be like this?"

"Like what?"

"All this bravado, like everything's a challenge. Like you'd hate for anyone to think you needed anything. You're not that tough."

"I think you'll find I am."

"No, you're not." She deliberately poked at Jade's face and made her flinch. "See? Anyway, I like to take care of you. I like it when you need me."

"You mean you like it when I'm helpless," Jade muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Sorry."

"You _are_ mad at me aren't you? I knew it."

"Tori..."

"Come on, _tell_ me. Let's just get it out of the way."

"Fine." Jade sighed. "I'll only say this once, and then it's done, okay. I'm not mad at you, I'm just a little disappointed, that's all."

"I _know_. I let you down and I'm sorry. I had a couple of drinks, it'll never happen again."

"It's not that, it's just..." Jade looked at her. "When you first came to school, I always thought there a bit more to you than met the eye, you know? That behind all that pretty little dork act there was something else, something interesting. And it… hurts me a little bit to know that you didn't think the same. That you just looked at me and saw one big stereotype. The bad girl that needs to be tamed. The bully who's really a coward. All that crap we sold them in the skit. Sometimes it hurts to remember that you actually _thought_ that."

"Jade..."

"And I know it's my own fault, okay? I know I tricked you, and I know I encouraged it once I found out you were into this. But I wish I hadn't. I wish I'd just shut up, or asked you for help. Because then maybe..." She looked down at her hands. "Maybe I'd never have had to find that out that you didn't want _me_ at all."

"I _did!_ I always wanted to-"

"Then why try to change me?" The question hung heavy in the air, caught between Jade mild gaze of inquiry and Tori's incipient guilty denial. Eventually Tori hung her head.

"I don't know."

"You know, the irony is, I would have changed _for_ you, if you'd wanted. If you'd come to me and asked me to be your girlfriend, instead of slapping my ass and telling me I was going to be some kind of pet, I could have done that, you know? You're into this stuff, maybe I could have got into it too. Let you do your thing every now and again. And maybe I could've done mine - the other night when you came to my house, that was pretty hot, right?"

"Yes."

"So why? When you found out I'd lied to you, you asked me why I didn't just ask for your help. And the answer, it turns out, is that I was kind of an idiot. So now I'm asking you the same question. Why?"

Tori's face creased up with the embarrassment of what she was about to say. "It was my mom."

"Your _mom?_ "

Tori nodded, miserably. "She said that you were... you know. She said she could tell when she met you."

"I see." Jade shook her head in resignation. "Your mom." She got to her feet. "I'll tell you something, Tori," she said. "One day, me and your mom are going to have a long, long talk. Stand up."

"What? Why?"

"Just do it. Okay, now turn around."

Tori did so, nervously. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to do something I should have done months ago," Jade said, with an evil grin. "Drop 'em."

"You can't just-"

" _Now_."

.

.

.

Tori's squeals reverberated through the house. Downstairs, Holly, froze. She turned questioningly to Trina, but Trina just smirked and raised an eyebrow in an _I-told-you-so_ fashion, and went back to her pearpad, leaving Holly in the grip of a jackhammer headache and the sinking realization that everything was moving too fast for her. If she was going to outmanoeuvre Marla she was going to need to get on top of things. She tried to suppress the nausea that had haunted her all morning and went to make plans. Like Jade, Holly had her own Plan B, and now it seemed it would be time to see if it survived contact with the enemy.

.

.

.

"Man, I feel a whole lot better." Jade lay back on the bed with a huge beam on her face. "I am now, officially, not mad with you."

"Gee, thanks," Tori muttered. "Can I pull these up now?"

"You may dress," Jade said, waving a hand, regally.

Tori pulled up her jeans. "That really hurt, you know," she said, accusingly.

"Don't be so wet," Jade said. "You loved it, really."

"What makes you think that?"

"My _mom_ told me," she said, smugly. "Or maybe it was my Aunt Janice. Or some other random relative who wouldn't have the faintest idea what they're talking about."

"Very funny."

"I think I might do that on a weekly basis, what do you think?"

"I _think_ ," Tori said, hotly, "that you've got a big mouth for someone who's still got to go to the Club with me. Maybe next time I'll place a bigger bet."

"Touché. All right, come here."

Tori climbed onto the bed and Jade wrapped her arms around her. "I'm sorry, babygirl."

"It's fine." Tori snuggled deeper.

"I can kind of see why you like it, though."

A little thrill of disquiet passed through Tori. "Jade..."

"I won't do it again, don't worry. I just needed to get it out of my system. Anyway," Jade rolled on her side. "You haven't had your reward yet." She began to tug at Tori's shirt.

"No!" Tori said suddenly, scooting off the bed. Jade looked at her, puzzled. "I mean, not right now. Tonight."

"Oh." Jade sounded disappointed. "Okay."

"If you want to reward me now, you can... buy me lunch."

Jade pouted. "I'd rather do _this_ ," she said. "Anyway, I'm broke."

Tori scoffed, and pulled open the bedside drawer. "Nice try, tightwad." She threw the envelope full of money onto Jade's lap.

"Oh, _this_." Jade pulled a face. "I dunno. I was saving this for-"

"...Buying the beautiful girlfriend whose ass you just spanked some lunch," Tori finished for her, brightly. "Yes, please."

"Ugh. Fine." She rolled of the bed. "McDonalds?" she said, hopefully.

Tori snatched the envelope off her and batted her on the nose with it. "A thousand bucks, _Jade_ ," she said. "A. Thousand. Bucks."

"Okay… Fatburger?"

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.

.

Marla was going to be pissed. Marla was going to be _really_ pissed. But Holly was a senior member, and she had rights.

And not everyone was on Marla's side. She still had friends.

.

.

.

"This is nice."

"So it should be at these prices."

"Are you saying I'm not worth it?"

"I guess we'll find out tonight."

"Jade!"

"Anyway, I'm going to need some of this money to fix my tooth. My dad doesn't have a dental plan."

"My mom said the Club would cover it."

"And how do I put that to my dad? _'Don't worry about the bill, Pops, just send it along to this shadowy bondage club, it'll be fine'_. He's not going to buy it."

"I see your point. I'll talk to her."

"Thanks."

"Which means you can probably spring for a dessert."

"Damn it."

.

.

.

… _and why the hell should she keep me out of the club anyway the little bitch she's no better than a whore and what does Vega know anyway we should have left her there and what did she do to them where are they all where are you all you all you all they're all gone all gone what did she do to them…_

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.

 _I can see them, hair floating like tendrils…_

 _I can see them._

 _Open-mouthed but silent._


	24. Chapter 24 - No Direction Home

**Hi, Merry Christmas to you all, a quick update before the break. I may get another chapter out before the new year but things are going to be pretty hectic. So eat, drink, read, review, and be merry.**

.

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 _"Oh, hello. It's Holly Vega, from the Club. Could you fetch your mistress? Thank you... Hi, yes, it's me. Look I have something I want to ask you. I know it seems a little unorthodox, but..."_

.

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.

"You found something."

Jade was busy shovelling dessert into her face. "Mmmf?"

"In the Club. I saw it when I was... getting you into bed."

"Oh. Yeah."

"So...?"

"So what?"

"Come on, Jade, I'm supposed to be helping you. What do you think it means?"

"I have no idea," Jade said, honestly. "It proves she was there, that's all."

"And the 'T.T'?"

"Your guess is as good as mine. Not a Club thing, then?"

"Not that I know of. I could ask my mom?"

"No!" Jade coughed. "I mean, not yet. If it's something important, we don't want to show our hand too soon."

"You don't think my _mom's_ involved?"

Jade decided on a tactful lie. "Of course not," she said. "But if she mentions we were asking about it to someone _else_..."

"Oh. Good point." Tori played with her spoon, uneasily. "Jade," she said, "can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What's going to happen?"

"What do you mean?"

"If we find Sally."

Jade hadn't really given much thought to the ends, she'd been too preoccupied with the means. "I don't really know," she said. "I guess if we find something incriminating, we go to the police."

"Yes, but I mean, what happens if we find _her?_ You know, Sally. Alive and well and living in… I don't know, Sacramento, say."

"Well... that'll be great, won't it?"

"Will it?"

It slowly dawned on Jade what she was asking. "Tori..."

"You can't blame me for wondering," Tori said, earnestly. "I've put a lot on the line for this, we both have, and if you turn round and tell me it's over once you've got her back..."

"Listen," Jade said reaching across the table and taking her hand. "First of all, me and Sal weren't like that, okay? We were just friends. And secondly, I _love_ you, Tori. And she knows that. The only people that are coming out of this together are you and me. I promise. Okay?"

"I guess, but the thing is, I don't know where we stand now, Jade. I don't know who owes who. I don't know whether you still think I'm a bad person, or whether I've made up for it. And if Sally's-"

"I don't think you're a bad person, Tori. _I'm_ a bad person. It's practically my job. I lied to you at the start of this."

"And I abused your trust," Tori said. " _All_ the way through it. I messed with your career and your friendships, took over your life and… ruined it for my own benefit."

"And I screwed with your family and your emotions, not to mention blowing your chances of ever getting 'Domme of the Year', all for _my_ own benefit. I'd say we're even."

"I got your face messed up."

"I spanked your ass."

"Yeah, but-"

"I can do it again if it helps."

"No!"

"Your call."

Tori stared into her dessert, dejectedly, and Jade reached a decision. "Look," she said. "I don't blame you for not trusting me on this. I've done nothing to deserve it, and I know that. So I'm going to give you something." She reached into her bag. "Maybe this won't change anything, but..."

She put her hand, closed, on the table. "Do you remember," she said, "that night in the hotel? Just before I ran out on you."

It seemed like a thousand years ago. "Yes."

"And you gave me some poker chips. You said I could cash them in whenever I wanted a day off, whenever I wanted a break from running around after you."

"Well I didn't put it quite like that..."

"And I don't know if I ever told you how much I appreciated it. That was a big deal for you, considering what kind of... life we'd led up until then."

Tori shrugged, sadly. Somehow, the idea of Jade viewing a day off from their lifestyle as a 'gift' brought home the lunacy of it all. "You're welcome, I guess."

"Well, this is kind of the opposite of that." She opened her hand and placed an object on the table.

It was a small brass compass, the size of a quarter. The case was dented and the glass was shattered, the needle jammed in place. It would never show you the way home, and Tori felt a twist in her stomach at the reality of its existence, the physical evidence of a nightmare come true.

"You know what this is."

"Yes."

Jade took a long breath. "This means a lot to me," she said. "I don't mean I'm sentimental about it, or it's a memento, or a souvenir, or any of that crap. It hurts me to even look at it. But I can't let it go."

"Jade..."

"I can _never_ let it go," she went on, quietly. "Because in some ways, it _is_ me."

"I don't understand."

"I brought this home," Jade said. "Through everything. Through all the misery, through all the pain. I brought this home with me. From the Lake. It was the best I could do, the only thing I could salvage. _They_ broke it, but _I_ brought it home."

She paused for moment, and tapped the little brass object gently. "Me and this little compass," she said, "we came home broken, but we came home _together._ And one day, _one_ day, I'm going to fix it. And when I do, then maybe..." She sighed. "Maybe I can be fixed, too."

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 _"It's me, Holly... Yes, I know she did, but that was your own fault. I'll bet it hurts. What?... I'm not surprised Theresa's mad at you, I'm mad at you... Honestly Dee, it was all I could do to stop you getting thrown out right there and... Yes, you do owe me, and not just for this. Listen, I need you to back me up on something..."_

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"I can't keep this. Not if it's so important to you."

"But you're _more_ important," Jade said. "And anyway, you're not going to keep it. You're just looking after it for a while. That's the deal."

"What deal?"

"One day, you're going to give it back to me. And when you do," she said, "when you want to, you can ask one thing of me. One thing that I can't refuse."

"Jade..."

"I'd go a long way for you, Tori, I really would, because I love you and I think we can make it. But _this_ ," she pointed to the compass, "is inviolable. It doesn't matter what the circumstances are, when or where, whether we're together or not. You can use it tomorrow, or you can keep it forever. It's up to you. But when the time comes, I won't discuss it, or argue about it, or try to back out. I'll just do it."

"But I don't-"

"It can be anything," Jade said. "Anything at all. If you want me to jump off the East bridge, or give you the clothes off my back, that's fine. If you want to hand it over right now, and ask me to give all this up and forget about Sal, I will. I'll do that."

Tori was stunned. "I... I don't know what to say."

"Think of it as payback," Jade said. "Giving you back a little bit of the control you were willing to give up for me. It may only be once, but it's absolute. Absolute control. And I swear on everything I hold dear, I'll stick to it. For the rest of my life, if I have to."

"But why this?" Tori held out the compass. "You don't have to give me this. Why not a poker chip or something?"

"It has to be that."

"Why?"

"Because that compass," Jade said, "represents _my_ failure, the one time in my life that I let myself down, when I didn't stand up for myself."

"Jade!" Tori was horrified. "You can't blame yourself for what happened!"

"Yes I can."

"No!"

"I wasn't _strong_ enough, Tori. I let them break me, and I swore I'd never do that again. And if I don't follow through on this, if I don't keep my promise to you, then... then I've failed a _second_ time. I've failed, and I'll never get this back." She looked at the compass in Tori's hands. "And I'll never have the chance to fix it."

"I can't..."

"Please, Tori." Jade's voice was brittle, like thin ice over a river of tears. "I need you to accept it."

Tori looked again at the little brass compass. Underneath the fractured glass, the face was faded and water-stained, its directions illegible, except for where the needle had been jammed, pointing South-East. She could just make out the letters. S.E.

She closed her hand over it. "Okay."

"Thank you."

They sat quietly, nursing their coffee, until Tori's brain nudged her. "What do you mean, 'she knows that'?" she said.

"What?"

"You said she 'knows' that you love me."

J looked guilty. "Oh, that."

"Yeah, _that_."

"I...I still talk to her sometimes."

Tori raised an eyebrow, and Jade realized that probably sounded less than sane. "On the recorder," she explained.

Tori pursed her lips. "You still use it?"

The discovery of the silver voice recorder had probably marked the lowest point of their relationship. "I'm sorry, okay?" Jade said. "It just helps to collect my thoughts, that's all. You can listen to it if you want, there's nothing bad on there, not since..."

"No, it's fine," Tori said, quickly. She changed the subject. "Are you coming back to the house? We could watch a movie."

"No, I better go home and face my dad. Tell him I walked into a door, or something."

"You can't say that!"

"Why not?"

"Because that's the sort of thing people say when they've been... you know. I don't want him to think-"

"Tori, babe," Jade said, kindly. "My dad's met you, okay? There's no way he would think that. In fact, if you want a little irony, he's spent the whole time since we started 'going out' warning me not to hurt you." She laughed. "Can you imagine that? Sitting there all evening with my ass stinging like crazy while my dad tells me to go easy on you."

"That's not funny."

"Well, maybe you had to be there."

There was a pause.

"Jade?"

"Yeah?"

"About the compass..."

"What about it?"

Tori toyed with it in her fingers. "I'd never use it to hurt you."

"Okay."

"You _do_ believe me, don't you?"

"Yes I do," Jade said. "But it doesn't matter what you use it for. Things could change, it could be something good, something bad. It could be something trivial. You could even," she wiggled an eyebrow suggestively, "use it to make me do that thing."

"What thing?"

"The thing you always wanted to make me do, but you were too embarrassed to say."

"I don't know what you mean!"

"Yeah, you do," Jade said, slyly. "I caught you looking it up on the internet that time."

Tori's face burned. "I was not!" she said, indignantly. "I was looking for something else and it just came up."

"Uh huh."

"I wouldn't... I'd never..." She ran out of words. "It was gross," she said finally, trying not to catch Jade's eye.

"Right," Jade said. "Well, that's a relief. We wouldn't want to do anything gross, would we?"

"Shut up."

"It's not like we-"

"I said, shut up."

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Hey, Sal, it's me. You wouldn't believe the night I've had. My face is all busted up but I snuck past my dad and put a few coats of slap on it, and it doesn't look too bad. I still don't know what I'm going to do about the tooth, though, I've got to go see a dentist. Maybe the Club has one on its books, I bet this is just the kind of shit dentists are into, you know? They like to see you suffer.

Anyway, it was kind of a success, me and the T-Bird cruised on in there and strutted our stuff, and everybody thought we were all that. Then I managed to get away and found this big records room, all these cabinets full of membership detail, and guess what? Well, I suppose you already know, but I found your card. I know you were there, Sal. Do you know what that means, what that does to me? Because I'd always hoped that I'd been wrong, that you'd just disappeared because you didn't like me, or got bored with me, but now... Now I'm kind of scared.

It all went a little bit crazy after that, Tori made some kind of bet with this old bitch about whether I was tougher than _her_ sub, and it all spiralled from there. We ended up going face to face across this big X thing, taking a whipping. You wouldn't believe how much it hurt, and I really thought this big Trixie chick was going to outlast me, so...

I let her into _our_ little club, Sal. I told her about the Lake.

She just cracked after that, 'cause Tori was on top form. A thousand bucks, Sal. We won a grand. I'm going to buy her something nice.

Don't be like that, it wasn't her fault. She just forgot, that's all. She just forgot who I _am_.

.

Seriously, Sal, don't _fuck_ with me. I just made her the mother of all promises, and I'm going to keep it. I'm telling you... What the Hell? Why do people always turn up when I'm in the middle of this? Hold on, Sal. I'll be right back.

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Tori let herself back into the house in a far better frame of mind than she'd left it. Her chat with Jade had settled her, somewhat, at least so far as Sally was concerned. She knew that love was a fickle thing, that it could ride rough-shod over logic and promises, but she also knew this. Nothing, _nothing,_ could override the sheer bloody-minded determination of Jade West. If Jade had staked so much on the compass, then her own pride would never let her break the deal.

She drifted through to the kitchen, and noticed that her mom had left her paperwork on the table. She glanced at it and noticed it was Club business. She was surprised – this kind of thing was always locked away when she was out of the house, one nosy neighbour could ruin everything for them. She looked closer and saw it was the vetting procedure for a new applicant, and felt a sneaking curiosity. She shouldn't know this, it was confidential. She turned the paper towards her.

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"Okay, okay, I'm coming. Just hold on. Jeez. Right, what… You?"

"Hello, Jade."

"What are you doing here?"

"I've come to talk."

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 _"You let her do what?"_

 _"It was just a bit of fun, Mom, there's no harm in it."_

 _"How many times do I have to tell you? First you get control. Then, you can have your fun."_

 _"But she's not like that!"_

 _"They're all like that."_

 _"But-"_

 _"I am very disappointed in you."_

" _Mom…"_

" _Very disappointed."_

 _"No, Mom, please..."_

 _"You've let me down, Holly. And you know what that means."_


	25. Chapter 25 - Rise and Fall

**Happy new year to you all, I trust you had a good holiday. Now it's time to forget all about having fun and get back to reading this thing.**

 **Thanks again for the reviews, I hope you're still hanging in there…**

 **Also, thanks to Quitting Time and Max Tomos for suggestions.**

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Holly Vega stepped into the room, peeling off her leather gloves, as Jade watched her warily. "If this is about the other night at the Club, Holly," she said, "it was my fault, okay? Tori was just-"

"I won't waste time, Jade," Holly said, briskly. "I'm not here to blame you, or Tori. She made a mistake and you did what you could to cover it. But it can't happen again."

"I understand that, Holly."

"I don't think you do."

"I don't?"

"Look, Jade," Holly said. "I don't know what you've been up to with Tori these last six months - maybe you were having fun, maybe you were just trying it out to see if you liked it, but it's become pretty clear to me that that you're not a sub. Or at least, you're not the kind that Tori needs."

"What? Why?"

"You're not suited. She's too weak, and you're too strong. It won't last. Sooner or later, you'll roll her over. If you haven't already."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," Holly said, "I heard what happened this morning."

"This..?" Jade's face reddened. "I didn't hurt her."

"I'm sure you didn't." Holly folded her gloves. "But that's not the point. She lost control."

"Oh, for... It was just a bit of _fun,_ Holly. There's nothing wrong with that, is there?"

"No," Holly said, quietly, "there isn't."

"Then what's the problem?"

"The problem is you."

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Tori hesitated. Even in her mother's absence she felt guilty. She held the form at arm's length, as though that would lessen the transgression, before she realized she couldn't read it from there. She squinted at the words, unaware of movement behind her.

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"What's wrong with me? I've always tried to be a good sub."

"The key word there, Jade, is ' _tried_ '. Being a sub isn't a job, it's not something you're obliged to do. It's supposed to be something you _want_ , something you crave. You've been willing to do it, maybe for Tori's sake, maybe for kicks, but it isn't you. And there's only so long you can keep it up before your real personality shows through. Like it did in the Club. Like it did this morning. And then you're in trouble."

"In trouble?"

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"Yoink!" Trina snatched the paper from her hands. "Whatcha got there?"

"Nothing!"

Trina looked at the form. "Tori Vega!" she gasped in mock outrage. "This is mom's super-secret stuff! You're not allowed to see this. You'll get thrown out of the Doofus Club and have Mr Whippy confiscated."

"Shut up! It was just on the table, and I was-"

"What is this anyway? _Ooh_ , an application form." She brought it closer. "What little inadequate wants to join up now?"

"Trina!"

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"The club is a very particular kind of place, Jade, intended for a very particular kind of membership. It's not really about sex, or bondage, or letting your hair down on a Friday night. You can go to a hundred other clubs and get all that. The club is about the Sisterhood. It's about power. It's about people who have control, and who like to exercise that control absolutely, and their partners have to be committed to it, willing to take the ride, hand over the reins of their life to take whatever comes. That's where _their_ thrill comes from. The total abandonment of self, the complete abdication of responsibility."

"A lot of them don't _seem_ too thrilled about it."

A trace of pain crossed Holly's face. "No," she said. "But I'm going to change that. That's partly why I'm here."

"I thought you were here to tell me I'm a terrible sub."

"No. I'm here to make you an offer."

What kind of offer?"

"I want to sponsor your membership at the Club."

Jade stared at her in confusion. "You're already sponsoring us, aren't you?"

"I'm not talking about you and Tori. I mean _you."_

"Me?" Jade laughed. "What as? Some kind of freelance sub? Please don't tell me you think I'm going to be _your_ sub."

Holly shook her head. "No."

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"Whoa!" A glow spread across Trina's face. "Oh boy, this is good."

"What? Who is it?" Tori said, anxiously.

"I can't say I'm surprised," Trina went on. "It was only a matter of time."

"Tell me!"

"I hope you've cleared an appointment at Dimmesdale's to have your collar fitted."

 _"What?"_

Trina turned the form round, grinning like a Cheshire cat. Tori stared in disbelief at the name on it. "No!"

"You must have really opened her eyes this morning, Sis, because it looks like she's got a taste for it."

"But..." Tori stammered. "This takes months! She _can't_ have only just done it!"

Trina shrugged. "What did I tell you when you started this? You need to find out what she wants. Well, now you know."

"But-"

"She wants _you_. On your knees." She laughed, and pushed the form into Tori's hands. "Welcome to the _real_ Diamond Club, Sis," she said. "Welcome to the sharp end."

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"That's crazy," Jade said. "I'm not a domme."

"But you could be. With the right training. I could get you girls..."

"I don't want you to _'get me girls'_ , Holly! I don't want some poor sap dragging in here so I can give them a beating!"

"Grow up, Jade," Holly said, impatiently. "This isn't the slave trade. These girls _want_ to do it, it's what does it for them. I can think of at least a dozen girls who'd jump at the chance to have you as their mistress. Maybe a couple of dommes as well, after your performance at the Club."

"And what about Tori?"

Holly paused. "You want _Tori_ as your sub?"

"What? No! I mean, what's Tori going to think about you offering to set me up with other girls? She's my girlfriend, for God's sake."

"Discipline doesn't have to be about sex, Jade. Tori practiced on plenty of girls before she met you and it was purely an arrangement, she didn't touch them otherwise. It was no more intimate than giving them a leg wax or a massage."

"Yeah, right. Remind me never to go to your beauty salon. And anyway, what happened to all that stuff about the mystical bond between domme and sub? How we're incomplete without each other, all that?"

"That's all very well, but sometimes you have to be practical. There's no reason you and Tori can't still be a couple."

"Wow, thanks."

"I'm serious. It happens all the time. You each have a sub, you have an agreement, you treat your sessions as... therapy. No reason for it to affect your relationship. Unless you want it to."

"But... why? Why would you want me to do that? You've spent months trying to get me in line, now you're telling me you want me to change. What's in it for you?"

Holly sighed. "I won't lie to you Jade," she said. "Some of us don't like the way the Club's going. We don't like the way Marla's turning it into her own personal fiefdom. She's spoiling the way it was meant to be, what we were trying to do. You said yourself the subs are unhappy. We need to change that. And the more of us there are who don't agree with Marla, the less power she'll have."

"But you've already got Tori."

"She can't handle it. Not on her own. Marla could break her in a minute. I need you there as well."

"I've told you, Holly, I'm not into that. I don't like hurting people."

"It's not about _hurting_ people, Jade. This isn't cage-fighting. It's about domination."

"But I don't know how to do it!"

"Yes you do. I saw what you did to Trixie, and Trixie's as hard as they come."

"I never touched her!"

"Exactly. You didn't need to. You had a grown woman in tears just by talking to her."

"That's not supposed to be a _good_ thing, Holly," Jade said, exasperated. "Who'd want that?"

"You'd be surprised. There are a lot of ways people like their discipline, Jade, and it doesn't always involve physical punishment. I know people who'd pay good money just to be in the same room as you, just to have you glare at them, or insult them. They just want to feel subservient, childlike, controlled. And you like _control_ , don't you?" Holly said, slyly. "That's what you're all about. That's what drives you. That's why you upped the bet, that's why I knew you wouldn't have wanted me to stop the contest. You wanted to have control of it all."

"I got my face smashed in!"

"Yes. But how good did it feel afterwards, to have Danielle on her knees?"

Jade couldn't answer.

"Imagine it, Jade," Holly purred, sensing opportunity. "The next time you go there. It's all about _you. You're_ the one holding the leash this time, _you're_ the one they're all looking at, clicking your fingers, calling the shots. Imagine," Holly played her trump card, "Marla's _face_."

Jade could feel herself start to weaken. "But," she said, "she'd never allow it, would she? Not if I've been there as a-"

"Already taken care of," Holly said smugly. "I've got enough support to override Marla on this. The paperwork's already done."

"But who'd support me?"

"The smart ones," Holly said. "They know that subs make the best dommes. They've been there, they know what works and what doesn't, they have their own self-discipline. You'd be perfect. You wouldn't make stupid bets like Tori, or lose your temper like Danielle. You'd be in total control of your sub _and_ yourself."

"Tori still wouldn't like it."

"You leave Tori to me. She'll understand. I need you to do this, Jade. For her and for me. I need you to help me turn the Club around. I can guarantee you any girl at the club, just name her."

"But I-"

"Stephanie seems nice. Maybe I'll have a word."

Jade stared at her hands, lost in wonder.

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Tori's world kept on turning, and it seemed that every time it did, she fell from the top to the bottom, like a wet rag in a tumble dryer. She stared again at the name on the application form in front of her.

Jade West.

This couldn't be right. After everything they'd been through, after everything they'd agreed, Jade wouldn't do this, surely? It _had_ to be a joke. It couldn't be real.

But it was. Her name was right there on the page. And worse, her sponsor's name, too.

 _Holly Vega._

She lay on the bed and felt like she was sinking.

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Sweet mother of God, Sal, you won't believe who was just here. Tori's mom. _Holly_. Not to round me out for laying it on Tori this morning - it's a long story, Sal, but everything I've been through was almost worth it for the chance to see Tori just bend over and take it like that, I mean I love her and everything, but it was a sweet, sweet moment - but to offer me a promotion, of all things. She wants me to be a domme. Can you believe that? The arch-dominatrix Holly Vega has looked deep into my black-hearted soul and decided, in her ineffable wisdom, that I'm more suited to be on top.

I don't know why, Sal. I don't know what she's up to. She sold me some crap about wanting me on her side against Marla, and while the thought of sticking it to that old bitch gets my jugs jiggling, I don't think that's it. And more worrying is that I know for a fact she's going behind Tori's back. She seems to think it'll all be dandy, you know, me and the T fronting up in the Club as a couple of dommes, swinging the leash with a couple of puppies behind us, as if that's the most normal thing in the world - she even suggested we share a sub at one point, can you imagine that? Not for us, I mean, I'll try a lot of things, and so will Tori, but for whatever poor kid gets stuck with us. Tori's bad enough, but me...

I told Holly that I couldn't be a domme because I didn't like hurting people. But that's not true, is it, Sal? You know me. You know why I could never crack the whip.

I could never be a domme because I _do_ like hurting people. I like dominating them. Sometimes I wonder if I hated the girls from the Lake more because I could have _been_ one of them, that that could have been me. I like to think I'm better than that, you know, that they were monsters, but what would I have been like, Sal, given no restraints, no rules, just endless freedom to punish? Could I have held back? Really? Thanks, Sal, that's pretty sweet. I guess you're right. It wouldn't be a challenge, and I _do_ like a challenge. I suppose that's why I did this. Holly thinks I'm a bad sub, that sooner or later I'll revert to type, like the real me will come roaring to the surface and ruin everything for Tori, but she's wrong.

Because that would be a mistake, and the _real_ me doesn't make mistakes.

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The bottle was nearly empty by the time Tori rolled over and felt a sharp dig in her hip. She felt in her pocket and brought out the little brass compass. She stared, glassy-eyed, at it. It seemed so long since Jade had offered her this, so long since she'd made her stupid, empty promise, so long since she'd finally accepted that Jade meant her no harm. And now...

She could hardly breath as the fury built inside her, and she dug her fingers blindly into the case, prising out the last shard of glass.

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I can't deny I'm tempted, Sal, for all the reasons she gave and more. I'd like to dump on Marla, I'd like people to show me a little respect, I'd like to be the one who gets to wear the pretty dress and have someone run around after me and fetch me drinks. I'd like to talk without having to wait for permission, and laugh, and tell Alison her corset's four sizes too small, and sit around like Lady Muck while some other poor sad-sack gets their ass whupped. I'd like all that. But it's not going to happen. Do you know why, Sal?

Because I saw the look in her eye. When she thought I wanted Tori as my sub, I saw the look in her eye. She was _thinking_ about it. I swear to God. That's how she is, Sal. She was ready to sell Tori out to me, like it was up to her. And I bet she could too. I bet if she'd gone home right then and told Tori that's what she had to do, she'd have done it. And that...

Tori can't be a sub, Sal, because in many ways, she already is one. That perky, eager to please, puppy-dog persona she shows at school, that's not an act. That _is_ her. It's _this_ , this is the act, this itchy little strait-jacket of a lifestyle that her mom's fitted her with for her own devices. There's no wonder she was such a bitch when we were doing this for real, no wonder everything had to be so fucking miserable and joyless. Everything had to be about _this_. We were never allowed to just let our hair down and have fun because she was terrified, _terrified_ of letting it slip. Letting her mom catch her out. She's tried so hard to play the role she's been given in the same way I've had to play mine, only hers is harder, much harder, because she knows what's waiting for her if she fails. In their weird, fucked-up little world, you're either one thing or the other.

Tori can't be a sub, because it'll break her. And I won't let that happen. I love her, Sal, no matter what you say.

So if that's the way things have to be, if one of us has to take the pain, I guess it's gonna be me.

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The remains of the compass hit the wall, hard, as she bent over in agony, face buried in the pillow to muffle her screams. And freed from its prison, the last piece of its cage, the needle turned for the first time in years.

And now, it pointed _West_.


	26. Chapter 26 - Waiting For The Hammer

**Well, here we are again, taking the willing suspension of disbelief to brave new heights. Feel free to review, good or bad. If it's bad, maybe I can fix it next time round. If it's good, then you have my heartfelt thanks, and the check's in the mail.**

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I don't mind telling you, Sal, I'm on top of the world. Like I said, it's funny the things you take pride in when your horizons are narrowed. I know I shouldn't care about Holly Vega's opinion, and I know it doesn't matter whether you're a sub or a domme, they're just two roles in the game, but I can't help feeling a little bucked up by her offer, because I'm pretty sure in her mind there's a world of difference between the two. That's what the Club's all about. I mean, I'm not going to take it up, obviously, but it's nice to see your talents recognized, even if she thinks it counts as cruel and unusual punishment just to be in the same room as me.

Am I that awful, Sal? I like to think that deep down I'm just a regular, fun-loving gal, but perception's a funny thing.

Anyway that's not all. Schadenfreude's a bad habit, and it pains me to revel in the misery of friends but - what's the phrase? _It's not enough to succeed, others must fail_. Cat just called. Hayley's left her.

I know I shouldn't, Sal, I know she's supposed to be my friend, but I can't help but feel a little touch of... Aw, who am I kidding, I've been laughing for ten minutes straight. It was all I could do not to giggle into the phone. It turns out they should have been at the Club the other night, but Hayley put her foot down and said she didn't want to go anymore. Said the whole thing was ridiculous. Where she gets _that_ idea from, I can't imagine. But apparently being forced to perform naked circus tricks in front of a crowd of leering strangers strikes her as a little _infra dig_ , if you know what I mean, so she wants to go somewhere a little more sensible. Unfortunately 'sensible' isn't really Cat's thing, so she started waving her little whip around and threatening all kinds of dire retribution, but Hayley just took it off her, snapped it in half and walked out, told her she was a joke. Man, I'd love to have been there. I've got a certain grudging respect for Hayley now.

I wish _I'd_ got to do that. I know I had to stick with it for you, Sal, but once, just once, I'd have liked to say no to something. Just to see her face.

Anyway, why Cat's calling _me_ I don't know, I'm hardly likely to be sympathetic. Maybe she wanted some insight into the 'sub' mentality. No, wait - Cat doesn't do insight, thats why she's in this mess in the first place. I'm beginning to wonder whether, for all her talk of 'enslaving' Hayley, it wasn't Hayley who inveigled _Cat_ into this. The world would make a whole lot more sense if that were true.

Actually it turns out she's calling me because Tori's not answering her phone, for some reason. So I'm not special, after all. Poor me, Sal, always second-best.

I wonder if I should tell Tori about Holly's offer. I'm going over later, I owe her a little bit of fun after this morning - she was pretty tolerant, letting me do that. Or maybe she was overwhelmed by my new, Holly-approved, dominating personality. I don't know why she was so keen to get to lunch, you'd think she was embarrassed to let me see her naked, which is crazy, because naked Tori Vega is pretty much my favorite sight in the world.

Maybe I shouldn't tell her. I'll just turn Holly down politely and no one's any the wiser. I don't want her to think I'm trying to… out-domme her. And I certainly don't want her to think the other thing. Although it was kinda fun, for a while.

I should go earlier. Make a night of it. I've got a treat for her. I'm going to let her… well, you know, Sal.

What can I say? Sometimes I liked it. So sue me. See you later.

.

.

.

The front door was unlocked. Jade pushed it open, and peered around, coughing to make her presence known, but there was no one downstairs. Someone must be in, and it must be Tori, because no one else was feckless enough to leave the front door open, not even Trina. Jade closed it quietly behind her, pleased with the element of surprise. She clutched her bag tightly to stifle it's jangle, and made her way up the stairs.

Tori's room was in darkness, but she thought she could just make out a shape in the bed. She entered, silently, and felt a crunch underfoot. She bent down to see what it was, and picked up the remains of the tiny, brass compass.

Her stomach started to churn, her anger at the damage overridden by a dread at what had caused it.

"Tori?" she whispered.

The shape on the bed seemed to shift slightly.

"You're here." The voice was muffled, indistinct. There was something about it that left Jade reluctant to go further into the room.

"Tori? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm just fine," the voice came back. Jade could tell now that it was slightly slurred. Tori had been drinking. "But thank you for asking." There was a beat. " _Mistress_."

Jade went cold. "What?"

"I know what's going on, Jade. I've seen it in black and white," the voice continued, distantly. "I know what you and my mom have been up to. This is the endgame, isn't it? This is what it's all about."

"I don't understand…"

"Jade West." There was an ugly giggle. "The Big. Bad. Domme."

Oh, God. She knows. _Damn it, Holly_. "It's not _like_ that, Tori."

"Oh, yes it is," Tori chided. "Jade West, the biggest, baddest domme of them all. It's what you always wanted, isn't it? What you were _born_ for."

"No, Tori, it's _not_. Look, this is just a misunderstanding..."

"I should have known, you know? I should have seen it coming. Trina saw it coming. But not me. Not Tori. Poor little Tori was too stupid to see what was right under her nose. So now poor little Tori's going to get what she deserves, isn't she?"

"No!"

"She's going to get right down on her knees. That's what you want, isn't it? Right on her knees. Just like this morning. Time for a little payback for mean ol' Tori."

"For Christ's sake, Tori, you're drunk. Why don't you just-"

"Shh!" Tori cut her off. "Shh. Shush. _Hush_. It's okay, you see? It's all okay," she whispered, conspiratorially. "'Cos you know what? I'm just fine with that. I'm absolutely fine. You want li'l Tori on the leash, you can have her."

"No!"

"Oh, but _yes_ , Jade. I've even saved you the trouble."

Jade hesitated, and a sense of foreboding swept over her. "The trouble of what?"

Tori's answer, when it came, made her heart freeze.

"Of having me _marked."_

.

.

.

Marla stared at the email on the screen. She wouldn't dare. Bring her to the Club as a _domme_ , for Christ's sake? What was she thinking? Damn Holly Vega. She couldn't do this.

Except of course she could, that much was obvious. She wouldn't have even tried if she didn't have support. So now what? She reached for the phone and dialled.

"Deborah?" she said. "I need you to do something for me."

.

.

.

"You've done _what_?"

"I've had myself marked," Tori went on, dreamily. "I'm sorry it's not as nice as yours. But at least mine's _real_." There was a note of reproach in her voice.

Panic started to claw at Jade as she approached the bed. She could just make out the shape of the other girl, but there was something strange about the angle she was laying. She leaned down to touch her. "Tori?"

Something was wrong. Her hand was wet. She recoiled, and stumbled back, fumbling for the light switch. She hit it and turned back to Tori.

Blood. There was blood everywhere.

"Oh Jesus, Tori, what have you _done_?"

"I tried my best," said Tori. "I hope it meets with your approval, Mistress."

Jade flung back the covers to see Tori's thigh, a patchwork of black and red, the words 'JADES BITCH' visible beneath the blood in jagged, angular letters. Tori's hand lay open, a tiny shard of glass resting in the palm. "Oh, God."

"You know what the irony is," Tori murmured, sadly. "I couldn't even finish it. I had to fill it in with a sharpie." Jade stared in disbelief, to see that the last two letters were a vibrant green underneath. "So I'll have to keep doing it again, and again," she hiccupped, and laughed, quietly, "and again." She pointed an unsteady finger at Jade. "Just. Like. You."

"You… you…" Jade clamped her hands over her mouth as she looked from Tori's face, heavy-lidded, smiling, to the raw, mutilated flesh of her thigh. "You stupid little girl!" she said. "How could you…"

She tailed off in horror as Tori's eyes finally closed and she slumped heavily to one side. Oh fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. That can't be good. She pulled out her phone, smearing red across it, trying to dial 911. No, that could take way too long, and somehow the idea of the ambulance seemed impersonal - disrespectful, almost - considering this was her fault. She ripped a corner of the bedsheet instead and tied it around Tori's thigh. Better. The blood was starting to congeal, which meant she'd stopped bleeding. Probably. Unless she'd just run out of blood. Shit. She pulled the unconscious girl from the bed and hoisted her across her shoulder with a grunt, setting off down the stairs in a reversal of the journey they'd made together the previous night.

.

.

.

" _Yeah, I can do that. I'd love to do that. It's going to cost, though. Five thousand? Take it out of my allowance, it'll be worth it. That's fine. No, she doesn't remember. Okay, Mom. Later."_

.

.

.

 _She was going to be all right_. Jade leaned her head back against the cool wall of the corridor. She was going to be all right. They didn't really want to tell her anything, and when they found out her name was scrawled on Tori's thigh they pretty much clammed up altogether, but at least she knew there was no danger. Footsteps approached, the click of high-heels mixed with the thud of regulation police boots. The family were here.

No. She couldn't do this. She couldn't face them. More than anything, she didn't trust herself to see Holly.

She turned away, leaving shrill voices in her wake.

.

.

.

What am I doing to her, Sal? I left her at the hospital last night. The family turned up, and I couldn't stand to be there, so I came away. She's going to be okay. Physically at least. They think she passed out from the alcohol, not blood loss. But I don't know how I'm going to face her now, what she's going to think about me. It all just feels so _unfair_ , you know? This wasn't my fault, this was Holly's. And now she's never going to trust me. I guess if you sow the wind, you've no right to complain when the whirlwind comes. I'm going to go and see her this morning. Face the music. More and more I feel like I'm trapped in some god-awful fantasy novel, forced to pursue an oath that makes no sense, knowing it'll end in destruction. Do I really have to do this, Sal? Wherever you are, this isn't going to change anything. Do I _really_ owe you my life?

I guess I do. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you.

But do I owe you _hers_?

.

.

.

Jade stepped hesitantly into the room, not knowing quite what to expect. Mercifully, the other Vegas had gone, and there was only Tori, laid frail and uncomfortable, sad brown eyes staring at the ceiling. At the sound of the door closing, her gaze moved to Jade, and stayed there, until Jade had to say something.

"Can I come in?" she said, softly.

Tori nodded.

Jade moved over to the bed, and decided she might as well get it out of the way. "Look, Tori, I'm really sorry," she said, the words tumbling out too fast. "It wasn't my idea, I swear. It only happened that afternoon, and I didn't have chance to talk to you, and then Cat rang, and I didn't want to be too early, and..."

"I know." Tori's gaze dropped to her hands. "My mom told me."

"... Oh." Jade said. "Right."

There was silence for a moment. "I was going to say no, you know," she said. "I was going to turn her down. I don't want you to think for a minute that-"

"I feel like such an idiot," Tori said, bitterly. "All this time. All this time I've spent, worrying. Wondering whether I can trust you."

Jade stared at the ground, defeated. "I'm sorry."

"And now it turns out you're the only person I _can_ trust."

"I... What?"

"I am such a fucking _idiot_ ," Tori said. "Why? Why didn't I just ask you about it? I could have done that, couldn't I? Relationships 101, don't jump to conclusions. But Trina just showed me the form and... Urrgh." She thumped the bed in frustration.

The form. That explained it. _The paperwork's already done_. Jade hadn't realized she'd meant it literally. She made a mental note to murder both Trina and Holly, silently, in their sleep.

"I can see how it looks bad," she said, diplomatically. "I mean, I'd have thought the same."

"Pfft! It didn't even have my _name_ on it, for God's sake," Tori snapped, not to be sympathised with. "I just assumed the worst. After everything you said this morning, I thought the worst of you. I just saw the form and took it for granted that you were out to screw me over. And all the time it was my _mom._ Jeez. Idiot."

"I wouldn't say _idiot_ , as such..."

And now I'm in here," she went on, angrily, "with a stupid scar on my leg, and there'll be psych tests, and therapists, and all that crap. I'm sorry, Jade." She looked up at her. "I really am. That must have been horrible for you, finding me like that. God knows what you must have thought."

"Yes, well," Jade shuffled uncomfortably. "I kind of thought you were going to die."

"What?"

"When I saw the blood, I thought you'd... You know."

"Oh, God."

"But it's okay," Jade said, quickly. "You're here now, and not dead and everything, so it's all good."

"It's all _good_?"

"Well, not 'good' as such, but..."

"And I broke the compass, too." Tori sniffed. "I'm so sorry, I know what it means to you. I threw it against the wall and…"

"I found it."

"Is it… okay?"

"Well, it's no more broken than it was before," Jade said, tactfully. "In fact, I think it works better now. The needle moves." She brightened. "Maybe that's a good sign."

They lapsed into silence. Jade watched as Tori itched her leg. "Can I see it?" she said.

"What?"

"Your leg."

"Why?"

"I just want to. You know what I'm like."

Tori rolled her eyes, and pulled back the sheets, to reveal a gauze bandage on her inner thigh. She carefully peeled it away.

The letters were fainter, less angry than the previous night. "It wasn't as bad as it looked," Tori said. "There was only one deep cut at the end. I think that's why I couldn't finish it." She looked down at the words on her thigh, scrubbed clean of blood and ink. 'JADES BIT'.

"I guess it could still be true," she said sadly. "I could be your 'bit', I suppose."

Jade looked at her for a moment, then reached into her bag and pulled out a pen. She leaned over Tori's leg and very gently drew back in the 'CH'. She straightened. Tori looked at it. " _Jade!_ "

Jade grinned, and leaned over again, mindful of Kim's suggestion, and carefully added an 'A' before 'BITCH'. She stood back. " _Now_ it's true," she said, pocketing the pen. Tori looked again, and started to giggle despite the pain. "You are not," she said.

"Am so."

"Are not."

"Am so. Ask anyone."

"Okay," Tori conceded. "You are. Come and sit down."

Jade sat on the edge of the bed, hand resting gently on Tori's thigh above the scar.

"Listen," said Tori. "About the Club thing."

"I've told you, I was going to say no."

"I know. And I believe you."

"Good."

"But the thing is," Tori took a deep breath. "I think you should do it."

"I... What?"

"I think you should do it. Tell my mom you want to go."

"Why?"

"Because," said Tori, "you're going to find out what you need to know a lot quicker if you're on the winning team."

"Let me just get this straight. You want me, your girlfriend, who I'm kind of hoping you love dearly, to go to a bondage club as a dominatrix?"

"It doesn't have to be _real_ , Jade," Tori said, as if it was obvious. "Just pretend. Find someone to go with. I'd do it myself, but I'm not going to look good in underwear for quite a while."

"You'd always look good to me, Vega."

"What, all sliced up?"

"Especially all sliced up. You'd look good to me even if you got stuck in a blender and turned into human soup."

"Don't be gross."

"I'm not being gross. There's nothing you could do to yourself," Jade slid her hand along Tori's thigh and smiled, seductively, "that would make me keep my hands off you."

"Yeah, but I... Hey! Stop that!"

Jade's hand rose higher. "Stop what?"

"That! This is supposed to be a hospital!"

"And Doctor West is here to help."

"That's not helping!"

"Does the patient need to be restrained?"

"You know there's probably a law against this. I'm a sick girl."

"Yes. Yes you are, baby."

" _Ohhhhh..._ "

.

.

.

Jade West left the hospital in a mood considerably more buoyant than the one she'd arrived in. She licked her fingers, thoughtfully, and smiled. _She still loves me_. Although if I really _were_ a doctor, I'd have been struck off by now. She walked towards her car, noticing, without too much interest, a figure across the street - average height, athletic build, hooded top. Could be anyone.

The identity of the figure became a more pressing concern when it started to move, on a course clearly designed to intercept her. She should stop. She should run. She should get back to the safety of the hospital. But her body did none of these things, and not for the first time she cursed her own bloody-mindedness. She slipped a hand into her coat to see if her scissors were there. Damn.

The figure drew closer, and for the first time Jade saw strands of blond hair escaping from the hood. A woman. She relaxed. Tall for a woman, but Jade was in pretty good shape, she could surely ...

The figure stopped, and pulled back the hood, and suddenly any thought of 'surely' doing anything left her.

Jade was under no illusions. She might have won a contest in the Club, where there were rules, and constraints, and everyone pretended it was all jolly good fun; but out here in the real world, she had no doubt whatsoever that the person in front of her could snap her in half like a twig. She'd humiliated both her and Danielle, and now it was time to pay.

Trixie.

They stood for a moment, face to face, as Jade waited for the hammer to fall.

.

.

.

 **Thanks to Quitting Time for suggestions on this chapter, and for another perspective on our dynamic duo's trials and tribulations in the world of the Diamond Club, check out Max Tomos' 'Love Cuffs'.**

 **BTW, the lyrics at the start of Chapter 9 are from Jade's own personal version of David Bowie's 'Scream Like a Baby'. I know it's a little late, but I feel like I ought to give him credit now. RIP Dave, the world's a duller place without you.**


	27. Chapter 27 - The Indecision of Agony

**Here we go, I didn't intend for there to be quite so much talking in this chapter, but once they got started I just couldn't shut them up. I promise there'll be more action next time, and we'll get to meet the mysterious Cybele…**

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _You sow the wind..._

Jade swallowed, dryly. Everything she'd done, all the lies, all the pain, had led her here. This was where it was going to end, beaten to a pulp in a back street, ten feet from her car.

"Are you going to hurt me?" She tried to keep her voice steady, but she could hear it falter in the breeze. Her legs felt like they belonged to someone else. The woman regarded her steadily, contemplatively, as though sizing her up for what was to come. Finally she spoke.

"Was it true?" The accent was heavy, Slavic.

"Was what true?"

"What you told me in the Club. Was it true?"

Jade dropped her head. "Yes," she said, quietly.

A light gust blew a strand of hair across the woman's face. She brushed it away. "I'm sorry," she said. "That shouldn't have happened to you."

Jade realized she'd been holding her breath for what seemed like a thousand years, and exhaled slowly, with a sense of danger if not averted, then at least postponed.

"I didn't mean to cause any trouble for you," she said, honestly. "You know. With Danielle."

"Trouble?" said the woman. " _Ha!_ Yes, there was trouble."

"I'm sorry."

"She'll be sleeping on the sofa for _weeks_."

"She… What?"

"She was stupid," the woman spat. "Reckless. She should _never_ have dragged your girl into that."

Jade was surprised by the vehemence in her voice. "Then why did you agree to it?"

The woman shrugged. "Because those are the rules of the game. In the Club, she has control." There was a pause. "Why did _you_ agree to it?"

"Because… those were the rules of the game, I suppose."

The woman nodded, as though satisfied with the answer. "I think we're very much alike, you and I," she said. "The easy life is not for us. We bore too quickly, we seek challenge."

"Maybe."

"And we are not like _them_ , either."

"What do you mean?"

"The Club was not always like this. Dee and I, we were here before _they_ came."

"They?"

"The new ones. The 'Sisterhood'. The rules. Sometimes I think they've changed her, that they've taken her away from me. You should look after your girl, don't let them do the same. Tell me, what did you do to her?"

"Tori?"

"Yes. After the contest."

Jade blushed. "I spanked her."

The other woman laughed. "That's good. Very good. There is hope for you yet."

"Thanks." Jade hesitated, wondering how much she could trust this woman. "Trixie," she said. "Do you-"

"Theresa."

"Sorry?"

"My name is Theresa."

"Then why 'Trixie'?"

She shrugged. "Danielle likes it. Me?" She pulled a face. "Not so much."

"Theresa, do you remember a girl at the Club called Sally Easterbrook?"

"Sub or domme?"

"Sub."

Theresa thought. "No," she said.

"Oh."

"You're looking for her?"

"Kind of. It would 've been a while back. I think something might have happened to her."

"No, I don't remember the name. But I do know there was trouble a couple of years ago."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Something happened in the Club. I wasn't there, but _something_ happened. A trick went wrong, or there was a fight, I don't know. But bad _beda_. Someone died."

Jade went white. "Oh God. You don't think…?"

"Not one of the subs," Theresa said.

"Then who?"

"One of the _dommes_."

.

.

.

 _I'm so close, Jadey, so close._

 _I can almost feel you._

 _._

 _._

 _I'll be home, soon._

.

.

.

Jade stood alone in her room, naked in front of the mirror, studying every inch of herself, every pore. _Look at me. What am I? A toy. Just something to play with._ That's what Tori had thought of her. That's what they'd _all_ thought of her, stood there in her underwear and leash, listening to them discuss her as though she had no mind of her own. And now Holly's offer seemed like a ray of light, a hint of salvation, a chance to fly the cage.

I could do this. Holly wants me to do it. _Tori_ wants me to do it. Why can't I? Why can't I be Queen for a day? Don't I deserve that? Just once?

 _No._

Why not?

 _Because that's not the way it goes for you. Even Trixie knows that._

Trixie knows nothing!

 _She knows you better than you think. You know why you can't do it._

Why?

 _Because you need what comes next._

Jade knew. The next trial. The first two had been simplistic, fun even, if you counted the skit. But the next one was rumored to be something else entirely. The 'Olympics'. A chance for the entire Club to watch and laugh as she was put through her paces, abused and humiliated for their entertainment.

I don't want that. Please don't make me do that.

 _Why?_

Because I'm frightened. I don't know what they're going to do to me.

 _It can't be any worse than last time. The contest._

But last time was different. Last time I had no choice.

 _Didn't you?_

No!

 _You don't have any choice this time, either. Because you know what you have to do._

Please, Sal. I can't do it. There must be another way. Take this cup away from me.

 _You need to know, Jadey._

Need to know what?

And she realized with startling clarity the question that she should have asked that night. _Why had Holly been so angry?_

 _That's right, Jadey._

 _You need to know what's in the bottle._

 _._

 _._

 _._

It was a few days later that Tori left the hospital, the fear of blood poisoning unfounded, the threat of interference from the psychiatric department still looming. By mutual agreement Jade hadn't visited the hospital again, not wanting to put a face to the name carved on her leg. Instead she'd pleaded an overnight school assignment and maxed out her credit card in a private dental clinic. It almost galled her that her parents had been too preoccupied with avoiding each other to notice the missing tooth.

"Hi." Tori sat down in the Asphalt Café. She was wearing a pair of baggy pants so as not to irritate her scar, a look that Jade planned to mock but secretly found enticingly accessible whenever they slipped down her hips.

"Hey. How's the leg?"

"Itchy. How's the tooth?"

Jade poked it with her tongue. "Expensive."

"I'll get my mom to cut you a check."

"She'd better. So what did she say?"

"What could she say?" Tori grumbled. "It was all her fault. She could hardly be angry with me."

"I mean, what did she say about the application? Did she tell you why she'd done it?"

"She just said she thought it was the right thing to do," Tori said. "That she didn't think our relationship was going to work the way we were, and maybe things would be better if we were equals."

"We were _always_ equals."

"Not how she sees it. Not how _I_ saw it either, when we started." Tori stared at her lunch, morosely.

"Don't be like that. I never thought you saw me as inferior."

"Yes you did, Jade. That's exactly what you thought."

"I really-"

"And you were right."

"Oh."

"And _I_ was wrong. I'm _sorry_. It's just…" She flapped her hands, helplessly. "You don't know what it was _like_ , suddenly being given everything you wanted, all that power, someone who'd do literally anything for you. I'm a teenage girl, for God's sake. You don't know how easy it was to get carried away."

 _What would I have been like, given the endless freedom to punish?_

"It was my fault."

"Your fault?"

"Of course it was. _I_ gave you all that. I let you do it, Tori. I knew how these things should be done, or at least some of it, and I didn't say anything. I was like someone who gives their kid a gun, and then wonders why they get shot in the face."

"Yes, but-"

"What would you have done?" Jade said. "What would you have done if I'd said 'no' to something? Would you have tried to punish me? To _make_ me do it?"

Tori sighed. "What _could_ I have done?" she said. "Look at me. I'm hardly going to overpower you and give you a thrashing, am I? You'd probably break my spine. I can only punish you if you let me."

"Bing! That's the right answer," Jade said. "You can only do it if I _let_ you. I had the power, not you. So stop beating yourself up about it and let's have lunch."

.

.

.

 _"You lied to me, Sally."_

 _"Mistress?"_

 _The woman held up the envelope. "It fell out of your bag."_

 _The girl took it, crestfallen. "I'm sorry, Mistress."_

 _"Do you want to tell me about it?"_

 _"Do I have to?"_

 _"No."_

 _"Are you going to send me away?"_

 _"... No."_

 _"Thank you, Mistress."_

 _"We all have our secrets, Sally. One day I'll tell you mine."_

 _._

 _._

 _._

"Tori, why do you want me to accept the offer?"

"I just thought... maybe it was your turn, you know? Your chance to get a little self-respect back."

"I don't have a problem with my self-respect."

"Okay, other people's respect. And don't try to tell me you don't care about that, because I know you do."

"I don't care about _their_ respect, Tori. Look, you and I both know by now that the Club's a festering pile of crap run by people who actually _want_ to believe that whether you like it top or bottom in the bedroom somehow says something about you, that it defines who you are. Well I _know_ who I am, and I don't need their approval to be one or the other. Hell, if had my own way, I'd just be plain old Jade West." She considered this for a moment. "Actually, no, if I _really_ had my own way I'd be Captain Jade West, Scourge of the Seven Seas. Avast behind!"

"Hey!"

"Sorry. Maybe it's just the pants. The point is, it's all meaningless. I don't care what they think of me, because practically everything they think is wrong anyway. That's why a lot of the old members who just went for fun bailed out."

"How do you know?"

"I spoke to Kim. She says it went downhill once your 'Sisterhood' took it over, and started all the trials and stuff." She didn't dare mention Trixie's tale in case she frightened her off altogether. "So now it's all _elite_ and _exclusive_ and great for your career and everything, but it's not really fun. At least not for the subs."

"Which is another reason why I'd want you to accept."

"I don't want fun at someone else's expense."

"Who are you, and what have you done with the real Jade West?"

"I'm going to turn her down, Tori."

Tori stared. "What?"

"I'm going to turn it down. I think we should just carry on with our application the way we were."

"But why?"

"Because... if I accept, we'll both have to start again. I think we should just go for it, do the next trial and-"

"No."

"What?"

"No, Jade, I'm putting my foot down."

"Why? I can handle it."

"But I _can't_. This isn't just about you, Jade, and what _you_ want. I have to go, too. And I don't know that I can face it anymore, watching you go through that."

"You were fine the other night."

"I wasn't 'fine' the other night! Do you have any idea how shitty I felt after that, how much I hated myself? And that only happened by accident. This time I know what's coming, this time I have to stand there and look like I'm happy about watching my girlfriend ritually humiliated in front of a bunch of strangers."

"It's just one trial! It might not be so bad."

"It doesn't matter how 'bad' it is! I'm not stupid, I know there's not much that the Club can throw at you that could be worse than what you've done already, and I know that some of the subs get off on it, otherwise no one would go. But you _don't_ , and I'm not going to stand there like a fucking idiot while you do something you hate, just because _you_ want to prove you're tough enough."

"It's not about that!"

"Then what?"

Jade couldn't tell her, because there was even less chance she'd want to go if she knew why. She gave it one last shot. "But where would we find someone to go with?"

"I can always take Alyssa. She's desperate to go on whatever terms. She loves the idea of an 'exclusive' club, she was gutted when I took up with you."

"Really?" The idea of usurping Alyssa Vaughn gave Jade a little surge of pride, even if was as Tori's sub.

"Really. Despite what you think, it's still a pretty hot place to be a member of. It can open a lot of doors."

"I've been through some of them," Jade said, darkly.

"Shut up. Look, I'll get my mom to arrange something."

"I don't want your mom _'arranging'_ things for me. She's done enough damage already."

"I don't understand why you don't want to do it. I thought you'd jump at the chance."

"All right, if you must know, I'm just not that... _comfortable_ with being a domme. It feels wrong."

"Because of what happened at the Lake?"

Jade shrugged. "Maybe."

"Is that why you're so down on all this? Because you think they're making a game out of the same thing that happened to you?"

Jade laughed, sourly. "There were people in that room the other night, Tori, domme and sub, whose ancestors had to do this for real, not that many generations ago. They really _could_ be beaten, and spit on, and abused at someone else's whim, only they didn't get to wear fancy leather gear and drink cocktails afterwards. The world runs on kink, Tori. I daresay there are people somewhere using gas chambers and waterboarding as foreplay, so I don't think my little adventure really counts for much."

"Jade!"

"I'm sorry. But no, it's not because they _do_ it. That's fine. It can be cathartic, you know that. It's because of the _way_ they do it. When I look at the Diamond Club, all I can see is a whole club made up of the girls from the Lake. I don't know that I want to _be_ one of them."

The subject of the Lake didn't come up very often, and Tori deliberated for a moment.

"Jade?" she said.

"Mm?"

"What happened to them?"

"Who?"

"The girls from the Lake."

Jade swirled the remains of her coffee in its cup. "They died," she said, after a while.

"They…?

"There was a boating accident at the end of that summer. Up at the Lake. They drowned."

"All of them?"

"I guess."

"Oh." Tori fiddled with her napkin, unsure of what to say. "Right."

"They were having a reunion." A small muscle twitched in Jade's jaw. "You know? The happy campers."

 _A reunion to celebrate…_ "Oh, God."

"Yeah. Must have been peachy," she said, quietly. "Funnily enough, I wasn't invited." She stared into her cup. "Which seemed a little ungrateful, considering."

They lapsed into silence, the seconds stretching out into minutes, until there was a blur of furious red.

"Cat!" said Tori, thankful for the distraction. "What's up?"

Cat sat down in obvious distress. Jade remembered she hadn't mentioned Cat's situation, and cheered up slightly.

"It's Hayley," Cat said. "She's run away."

"She hasn't 'run away', Cat," Jade said, patiently. "She's not a stray dog. She's just taken her butt-plug and gone home in a sulk because you wouldn't play nice with her."

Cat gave her an angry look and turned to Tori. "Do you think I should call 911?"

"Er..." Tori looked to Jade for help.

"Yes, Cat, I think you should absolutely do that," Jade said. "Make sure you give them a full description. Five foot five, dark hair, face like a slapped ass. Suffering from a sudden attack of common sense."

"Jade, don't."

" _Ass_ like a slapped ass, too. Make sure they bring her home the right way up."

"Jade!"

"Shut up, _Jadey_ ," Cat snarled.

The atmosphere cooled by several degrees. "I told you not to call me that," Jade growled.

"I'll call you whatever I want, now, _Jadey_ ," Cat mocked her, ignoring Tori's desperate _'don't do it'_ gestures. "And don't you dare be mean to me, or I'll get Tori to give you a spanking like she did when you hurt Robbie."

The temperature crashed, and a new ice-age was underway. Tori was engulfed by a glacial stare. "You _told_ her?"

"I didn't mean to!"

"I see. " She turned back to Cat. "Well," she said. "Why don't you tell her the _good_ news, Tori."

"I-"

" _Tell_ her!"

"Okay, okay! The thing is, Cat," Tori said, wretchedly, "we're not really… doing that, anymore."

"No," Jade said, satisfied. "We're not." She smiled, and waited for the implication of this to dawn on Cat. It took a while, Cat's simple face contorting in confusion as she looked from Tori's apologetic expression to Jade's spreading grin of intent, but eventually it hit her with a horrified ' _Eep'_ , and for a moment they were frozen, a carved tableau of hunter and prey, until Cat bolted, racing for the school door, Jade barely a second behind, boots pounding in pursuit.

Tori rested her head gently in her hands, and wondered if she should just re-admit herself to hospital _now_ , to save time when Jade got finished with Cat. The bell went, and she limped to her feet to make her way back inside, trying not to hear the shrieks of Cat learning a valuable lesson in humility.

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 _I'm standing on the shore, and I can see them, hair floating like tendrils, faces turned up towards the sky..._

 _I can see them, open-mouthed but silent._

 _Dear God, Sal, what have you done?_

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 **No cliff-hanger today, folks, sorry.**

 **Unless you're terribly worried about Cat's fate. If you are, just pretend she went away to live on a farm somewhere, and lived happily ever after.**


	28. Chapter 28 - Half Sick of Shadows

**Morning, everyone. How are we today? For all those who are worried about Cat, nothing terrible's happened to her, although she may need to wear a hat for a while. In the meantime, on with the show.**

 **Title and some of the lines are from 'The Lady of Shalott' (1842 version).**

 **And of course I appreciate any reviews!**

 **Note - for anyone keen to see how Captain Jade West would fare on the high seas, I refer you to Max Tomos' 'Father and Daughter'.**

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 _And moving thro' a mirror clear…_

 _That hangs before her all the year…_

 _Shadows of the world appear._

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Tori sat in her room, agitated. Jade was mad. Again. It seemed like every time she took two steps forward, she took three steps back, tripped over her shoe-laces, and fell flat on her ass in a puddle. She'd told Cat. At the time it had seemed like a normal thing to do, discussing your hobby with a fellow enthusiast, swapping tips and tricks. But when your hobby was someone else, someone they _knew_...

She wondered how it must feel for Jade, to have her humiliation broadcast to people who'd once respected her. Did Cat see Jade differently after the Club, after she'd so casually betrayed her with a slap on the ass? Jade certainly saw Cat differently, and even the hell she'd dealt out to her at lunchtime wasn't going to erase the burning memory of that.

She was coming over. That had to be a good sign. For a moment, at the school gate, she'd thought she was going to say _no_ , going to tell her it was all over, but she just nodded and jumped in her car. And now it was nearly seven. Fret, fret, fret.

She heard voices downstairs. Her mom's. Jade's. She wondered if they were discussing Jade's application, if Jade was telling her she didn't want it. Or maybe she _did_ want it, now. Maybe she was going to go for real, to rub Tori's face in it. Maybe after today she was going to make Cat go as her sub, as a penance. For a moment she brightened, revelling in the guilty thought - that would make up for it, wouldn't it? That would be the ultimate in memory erasure, in balancing the books. She'd never have to feel bad in front of Cat again. It would be the perfect cure for the lingering bitterness that dogged her.

 _Except it wouldn't, would it, Tori? Not quite._

She steeled herself as she heard boots on the stairs.

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"Hey, babe, I got held up by-"

"I'm sorry!"

Jade stood, blinking in the face of Tori's bellowed apology, delivered as though she was a human booby-trap primed to go off the second the door was opened.

"Er... Right." She shook her hair carefully, in case it was full of shrapnel.

"I'm _really_ sorry," Tori went on. "I mean, _really_ sorry. I shouldn't have told her, and I know it was wrong, and I know it hurt your friendship, and I know you want to kill me, and..."

"When?"

"... I know it was stupid, and I know it was thoughtless, and I just want to say I'm really, really... really… What?"

"When?" Jade repeated. "When did you tell her?"

Tori looked confused. "I don't know," she said. "The day after. Why? What difference does it make?"

"Then it's fine," Jade said, flatly, walking in and dropping her bag on the dresser.

"What do you mean _'it's fine'_? How can it be fine? You were mad as hell before."

"Yeah, well, now I've had time to think about it. And the thing is, what happened that day, that was... _old_ Tori."

"Old Tori?"

"You know, from before. Before we got to know each other. I guess I can't keep holding this stuff against you, otherwise we'll never get straight. We've got to draw a line somewhere." She threw herself onto the bed irritably, legs crossed, hands behind her head, and stared at the ceiling.

"Really?"

"Really. We both did some stupid stuff. We should forget it. Move on."

The look on Jade's face said she was a long way from forgetting it or moving on, but she sounded grudgingly genuine.

"Okay."

There was a pause. "Would you have told Alyssa?"

Tori groaned.

"I'm just curious, that's all. You said you'd take her to the Club. Would you have told her I was going to be there? Or was it just going to be a nice surprise for her?"

"Damn it, Jade, I've _said_ I'm sorry. What else can I do? And what happened to drawing a line under it?"

Jade relented. "You're right, I'm sorry." She sighed. "I'm just a bit on edge, that's all."

"Look, I wish there was something I could do to make it up to you, okay? To make you feel better."

Jade toyed thoughtfully with the corner of Tori's blanket. "Well there is _one_ thing," she said, with a little pout.

"What?"

Jade rolled over on to her side to face Tori, raised an eyebrow, and grinned.

It took Tori a moment to realize what she was suggesting, and the look on her face was priceless when she did. Jade laughed and lay back.

And then she heard it. A soft little sigh and the jangle of metal. She looked at Tori to see her fiddling with her belt. Tori saw her and turned her back as though embarrassed, pulling the belt out through its loops.

Jade had been joking, but the sight of it sent her reeling. _She's doing it._ I haven't even asked, and she's going to let me...

She felt dizzy. And then she understood. It wasn't about _control_ , or getting people to do what you want. She was an expert at that, she'd been doing it all her life. It was this. Getting them to _want_ to. Watching them capitulate of their own free will. This must be how Tori felt that first night, when Jade came to the house. Maybe this was the thrill, not of gaining control, but of having that control _ceded_ to you. Of watching their surrender. She felt light-headed, euphoric. _She's actually doing it_. She stood up.

Tori was standing with her back to her, pants clutched loosely at the waist, ready to drop. "Is this going to happen every time you're mad at me?" she said, quietly. The voice held a tremor of defiance, but it was hopelessly belied by her position of acceptance.

Jade smiled mischievously to herself, moving up behind the other girl until they were touching, until she could feel the slim body tremble through the thin shirt. She ducked her head and pressed her lips close to her ear.

"What would you do," she breathed, feeling Tori's shiver of anticipation, "if I said _'Yes'_?"

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.

Jade didn't know what she was expecting, but Tori simply loosened her grip on the pants, her hands dropping to her sides, as Jade slipped the shirt from her shoulders, admiring the curve of her shoulders, the tone of her perfect skin.

Not perfect.

 _The hotel._

Her vision began to swim as it came back to her, and she felt a sickening lurch as though she were back in the car crash. She _was_ back in the car crash, back there, racing towards Tori, mind fogged and distracted by the same sight she saw now. How could she let this happen? How could she have forgotten this?

Tori felt Jade move away, the sudden cold on her back. She turned. "What is it? What's wrong?" The look of disgust on Jade's face made her feel sick. "Jade?"

But Jade didn't speak. She backed away, nostrils flaring, and then she was gone, the door slamming behind her. Tori stood speechless, lost. What was going on? She turned to look back at the bed and caught sight of herself in the mirror, and a terrible sense of foreboding gripped her.

 _Oh no._

Shaking, she picked up the small vanity mirror, and used it to look over her shoulder. There they were. Faint but visible. The marks. Her failure writ large.

 _Tori, you idiot. You fucking idiot._

"Jade!" she yelled, grabbing frantically at her clothes. "Wait! It's not what you think!"

She didn't bother to button her shirt as she crashed down the stairs, hoping Jade might still be in the house.

But Jade wasn't going anywhere. Jade was still here. "Where is she?" she snarled.

"Who? Look, Jade, I know it-"

"Your _mom_."

"My mom? Why?"

"Don't fuck with me Tori. I know what this is. I know what she does to you."

It took Tori a moment to realize what Jade was saying. "No!" she said.

"I'm going to kill her. I'm going to fucking _kill_ her."

"Jade.."

"And not just for this," Jade spat. "For everything. Tell me where she is, Tori, or I'll-"

"It wasn't her!"

Tori's words brought Jade up short, blinking, speechless. But it was short-lived.

"Then _who_ , Tori?" Jade said, slowly advancing on her, with a dangerous look in her eye. "Who does it?"

"Please, Jade, don't."

" _Tell_ me, Tori."

"I can't!"

"Are you cheating on me? Is that it?" she said. "After everything we've done? Getting a little fun on the side?"

"No!"

"Then tell me!"

"It was..."

" _Who?_ "

"It was... my grandma."

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 _"I'm very disappointed with you, Tori."_

 _"Please, no..."_

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"Your grandma," Jade said, quietly. "I see."

" _Yes_. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I didn't want you to see-"

"Don't _bullshit_ me, Tori!" Jade yelled, turning on her. "Your grandma's been dead as long as I've known you! So unless she pops back from the grave every now and then to give you a beating, you're going to have to do better than-"

"It's not like that!"

"Then what?"

"She used to make me do it to _myself_!"

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" _You know what you have to do."_

" _Grandma, don't…"_

" _Count."_

" _No…"_

" _Yes!"_

 _One…_

 _Two…_

 _Three…_

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"Whenever my mom was away, or we went to stay with her," Tori said, her voice just a whisper. "She used to... She always said my mom was too soft with me, that I'd never be a good domme unless I learnt discipline."

Jade stared at her in disbelieve. "Your _grandma_ started this?"

Tori nodded, sadly. "And I don't think she was the first."

"Oh Jesus, Tori. Does your mom know?"

"No."

Jade hesitated. "Did your mom ever..."

"No!" Tori said. "My mom wasn't like that. She was all about the rules, and being in charge, and bossing people about. That's why she likes the Club. I don't think she was ever really into the rest of it. But my grandma, she was... _terrifying_. She really believed. She used to tell me that the only way to learn was to be your _own_ mistress, to punish yourself before you could punish them, because that way you'd never feel guilty about what you did. You had to be hard on yourself, otherwise you got lazy, and lost control. The only person you should ever submit to was _yourself_."

She glanced up at Jade. "I was only fourteen," she said, miserably. "I didn't even understand most of it. I just knew that if I disappointed her I'd be in trouble. But the thing is, after she died..." She stared at the floor. "I just couldn't stop."

"Oh, _Tori_..."

"Every time I screwed up," she went on, tears starting to creep in, "every time I let my mom down, or made a mess of things, I could feel her there, watching. Every time I made a mistake..."

"A mistake?"

Tori said nothing, and Jade understood. A mistake with _you_.

 _This is my fault. I let her do it. I let her make mistakes because I needed her to go too far..._

 _It ends here._

"Show me."

"What?"

"Show me where you go."

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Jade looked around the basement in dismay. This was where Holly had threatened to take her. The dungeon. She shuddered, and turned back to Tori, who was fiddling with a small silver key at the lock of a small door to one side. "My mom never goes in here," Tori said. "I've got the only key. She thinks I keep it private for..."

"For?"

"Our stuff."

"What stuff?"

"If we'd carried on. I was going to... It doesn't matter now."

Jade understood. _Our own private dungeon._ She tried not to think about it, as the door opened.

The revulsion at the thought of being tortured in their own cosy off-shoot of the family vault was nothing compared to the sight that met her. The room was small, but practically bare, only four objects visible in the gloom. A long mirror, dusty and tarnished, leaned against the wall, and in front of it lay a filthy mat, a fat, guttered candle, and...

 _She kneels before the long mirror._

"Jesus," she breathed.

The scourge was ancient, it's three twisted braids knotted along their length so long ago that they would never be undone, the handle stout, blackened wood, worn smooth with use. This wasn't something you could buy at Dimmesdale's, this belonged to a time when the very sight of it would have broken men.

"Cybele," Tori whispered. "She was my grandma's."

A rage began to rise in Jade.

 _She made three paces thro' the room..._

Her boot hit the mirror square in the middle, the fragile glass shattering all around her.

 _The mirror crack'd from side to side..._

"Jade!" Tori shouted in horror, at the sacrilege of her own torment. _The curse had come upon me..._

" _No_ , Tori! No more!" Jade snatched up the scourge and pulled out her scissors, hacking at the strands with furious abandon. The braids were old, and tough with age, and the scissors bucked and twisted painfully in her hands, but her anger was absolute and unrelenting. Tori watched in a daze as each fell in turn to the floor, their twists unravelled and their power broken, until eventually Jade turned to her, the shorn stump of the handle in her hand.

"This," she growled, holding it up to Tori's face, "never happens again. _Never_! Do you understand me?"

Tori could only nod mutely, incapable of objection.

"I _mean_ it, Tori! _Never._ Because if you do, I'll… I'll…"

Words failed her, and they both realized that there was nothing Jade could threaten Tori with that was worse than what she was doing. She stood there, helplessly.

Until Tori stepped forward, and released her from her obligation.

"I _promise_ ," she said, slipping her arms around her and pulling her tight, waiting for the tears.

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"What's going on?"

Holly was in the kitchen as they left the basement, hand in hand. "Tori? Are you all right?" she said, as she saw the tears drying on her daughter's face. She glared at Jade. "What did you-"

Jade held up the stump, wordlessly, and to her surprise Holly's eyes widened in horrified recognition. _"Cybele,"_ she whispered hoarsely, looking at Tori. "Where did you get this?"

"I think," Jade said, carefully, laying the neutered scourge on the table. "I should go." Tori turned to her as though to protest, but Jade squeezed her hand. "You two," she said, looking from mother to daughter, "need to talk."

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I did a good thing today, Sal. Maybe the first thing I've ever done right. I stopped something, put right what once was wrong, as they say. I hope she's going to be okay, I really do. I wonder if she'll want to stop all this, now the truth's out. If she does, then what can I do?

Maybe it's for the best. Maybe the curse is broken.

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… _hold her arm. Her arm!_

… _no! Please, I don't want that!_

… _God's sake, what are you doing to her?_

… _get out, Caroline! Where's the fucking medic? Get..._

 _._

 _._

 _._

… _Caroline?_


	29. Chapter 29 - It's a Family Affair

**So what's up with dear old Granny, God rest her soul? Let's find out. Please feel free to review, I appreciate it, and don't worry, this won't go on forever…**

 **Small note: I'm in no way condoning Holly's attitude to the use of safewords here, we're just looking for explanations of things past.**

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Tori lay awake, mind turning.

It was twelve-thirty. Half an hour. In half an hour she'd know.

Snatches of the conversation with her mom drifted back to her. Her mom had cried, briefly, as she apologized, and that on its own was enough to take away much of the sting. Her mom _never_ cried.

She felt detached, lucid. It was as though a curtain had been pulled back to reveal the mechanism of the universe, the cogs and levers that made her life work. She understood, if not everything, at least enough to make sense of a corner of it.

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 _I tried to protect you..._

 _Did it never strike you as odd, Tori, that we should do this? Not the thing itself, but the fact that I should be involved? That I should train my own daughter to do something like this, that I should encourage you, find girls for you, watch you do it? Doesn't any of that seem strange to you? Maybe not. I bet it does to Jade. But I guess we all inherit our version of normality._

… _You don't have to make excuses for her, I know it sickens her. I can see it in her eyes._

 _I was a teenager when I found out your grandmother had another life. I was shocked at first, repulsed, but she took me to one side, and sat me down, and tried to explain. I didn't do anything about it then, I was still disturbed by the thought of her and my father doing something like that, but after a while I became intrigued, fascinated by the idea. I thought maybe I'd try it myself. I didn't really know which team I wanted to be on, but I wanted to play the game. So I made my own foray into the world._

 _And it was good, it was fun, for a while. Your grandmother and I never discussed it beyond a tacit understanding that we shared an interest, but it helped my confidence to know that there was someone that I could turn to if I needed advice._

 _But then your grandfather left, and everything changed._

… _I know I told you he died, and he did, but not then. Not until a few years later. He walked out on her. Walked out on us. Said the 'lifestyle' wasn't for him anymore, that it was taking over everything, that it had to stop for the sake of their marriage. But she wouldn't listen, wouldn't back down, and the frustration drove her mad because no matter how much she raged, how much she frothed, and threatened, and demanded, there was nothing she could do about it. In the end he just packed his bags and left. And it broke something inside her._

 _She lost all sense of restraint, of compassion. She became convinced that he'd left her not because she wouldn't listen, but because she didn't exert enough control, that if somehow she'd been strong enough, tough enough, she could have stopped him leaving by sheer force of will. That he'd got away because she'd been lazy._

 _She became obsessed with the idea that she could fix what had happened, that our family would never go through that again, that in some way she could pass down her own dominance through us, from me, to you, and so on, so that one of us was always in control, always ready to train the next, and we'd never lose our way again._

 _I should have stopped her then, Tori. But she was my mother._

 _I never had a moment's peace after that. She always wanted to know what I was doing, was I doing it right, was I getting lazy. She went on and on, pushing me to go further and further, become more and more extreme._

 _Until eventually she pushed me too hard, and I hurt someone._

… _No, not your father. This was before we met, when I was still in my teens. It wasn't so much the physical damage I caused, we were young enough and fit enough to brush it off, but the emotional fallout was devastating. They never trusted me again._

 _Because they knew that in that moment I'd forgotten. I'd forgotten who they were._

 _I'll never forgive her for that, either._

… _A safeword? Yes we did. But we were impatient, and foolish, and the problem with safewords is that you become reliant on them, like better brakes on your car. You drive faster, become more reckless, because you think you'll always be able to stop when the time comes. You become complacent. Both of you. You put so much faith in them that you forget to take care, to look for the signs that things aren't right, to read the situation. You get carried away._

 _When the time came I... just couldn't stop._

 _That was the second time I met Cybele. Your grandmother cursed me out for having a safeword at all. She said that a good domme should know her sub better than they know themselves, that you should always be able to tell before they could, and that this proved it. I lacked 'self-discipline'. And in a way she was right._

… _I never said you shouldn't have one, Tori. I just didn't think you needed one just yet. I didn't want to encourage you to go too far, too fast. And then I realized too late that Jade likes to drive everywhere at a hundred miles an hour, with no brakes at all._

 _Anyway, when I met your father, things got better, because he just went along with it, first because it was fun, and I was hot - don't look at me like that - then because it kept everyone off his back. He spent a lot of time at work. But when you two were born, she got the fire in her eyes again. She was determined that one of you would take this road._

 _I tried to protect you, to let you make the choice, but she was already pushing you that way behind my back. And once you took to it, all I could do was to try and guide you the right way, to try and make you a better domme than I was, than she became, to make you more considerate, more understanding. Because I was always aware that she'd got to you before I did. I just didn't realize how much. The day you left Jade on the bed broke my heart, Tori, because I knew it was my fault. I'd let you forget. I'd let your grandmother win._

… _No, don't be sorry. Not to me. Because some of her is in me too. The funny thing is, Tori, that for all we value our dominance, we're all beholden to someone else. You to me, me to your grandmother, your grandmother to her obsession._

 _And of course, all of us to the Club._

 _It was supposed to give us freedom, Tori. That's why it has rules._

 _We think we own the Club, but in a sense the Club owns us._

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She didn't know how she was supposed to feel. Any normal family would be looking at _years_ of therapy over this. And yet somehow she felt free, freer than she'd ever been. She wasn't a victim of her own incompetence any longer, she hadn't let them all down - she'd been a pawn in a longer game, a game that had started before she was born. And the game was still going on, only now she knew the rules, now she was a _player_. She knew, without looking, that it was one o'clock. It was time. She waited, and to her relief found that she felt no compulsion to get up, no desire to do anything rash. It was over. She lay there with the cosy glow of someone who knows they should be somewhere, but who has a cast-iron excuse not to go. _Jade told me not to_. Jade said I didn't have to do it anymore.

 _What would you have done if I'd say 'No'?_ Jade had asked. And her answer had been true. What could she have done?

But Jade couldn't say 'No', could she? Because she _had_ to do it for Sally. She wondered what that must be like, not to have that freedom. To be compelled by other forces to do something you didn't want. Of course, in a way she knew. She knew what that was like, but only now did she realize it, now she'd been released.

Jade had set her free. Would Jade ever be free?

 _What would you do, Tori, if I said 'Yes'?_

She knew what she had to do. She smiles slightly to herself and rolled over, snuggling deep into her new-found contentment.

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"No, Tori."

"Why not?"

"Just no."

"But why?"

They sat in the Asphalt Café, bickering furiously over congealing burritos.

"I'm just not going to do it. Haven't you had _enough_ of that?"

"This is different."

"How?"

"Because it's _you_."

"It's precisely because it's _me_ that I don't want to do it."

"What do you mean?"

"Because I... I promised myself I never would."

Tori raised an eyebrow. "You promised yourself?" she said. "Don't I get a say?"

"Not in my promises, no."

"Why not?"

"We're just going round in circles, Tori."

"Then tell me why you'd promise yourself something like that."

"Because it feels too much like revenge, Tori, that's why."

"Revenge? How can it be revenge if I'm asking you to do it?"

"But _why_ are you asking me to do it? Why on _earth_ would you want to be my sub?"

Tori poked at her fries. "Because I need to _know_ , Jade," she said. "I need to know what it was _like_ for you, how it felt to be with me."

"This won't tell you."

"Why?"

"Because it's not the same. If we do this, all that'll happen is that you'll resent me."

"Do you resent _me_?"

"No!"

"Or is this some moral high ground, thing? If I do it, then you don't get to feel special anymore?"

"Jesus, Tori, are you _trying_ to wind me up?"

"I just want to know what it's like!"

"But I can't show you!" Jade snapped. "You want to _play_ at being me, but you'll never know what it's really like, because you'll never have the bottom kicked out of your world like I did. You'll never have to be dragged off to a Club you've never heard of, wondering if you're about to be blackmailed or have your bank account emptied while strangers poke at you in your underwear and ask you if you like it up the ass. You'll never have _my_ mom drag you around by your ears and call you a cheap little slut, you'll never end up calling your friend 'Mistress' by mistake and wondering what'll happen to you if you upset anyone. It's the _little_ things, Tori. That's where the experience is. I can't put you through what I went through because I just don't have the... _resources_ to do it."

" _What?_ " Tori laughed in disbelief. "You're seriously telling me you couldn't think of a way to make my life a misery if you put your mind to it? Before we started this, you once ruined my entire week with just a drinking straw and piece of chewing gum."

"I don't _want_ to make your life a misery!" Jade said. "Although that _was_ a good trick."

"I'm not saying you have to torture me to death," Tori said. "I'm saying you can do whatever you want. That's what I'm offering. It doesn't matter whether you string me up on a meat-hook, or make me eat bush peas for a week. If you want to parade me in front of the whole school on a leash, you can do that, if you want to. The point is, I'm giving you the chance."

"But I don't _want_ the chance!"

They both sat, quietly simmering. Finally, Jade reached for her food.

"You think I can't do it, don't you?"

Jade slammed the food down again. "It's not about whether you can _do_ it or not," she said. "it's about me."

"Okay," Tori said, quietly.

"Good."

"Maybe you think _you_ can't do it."

There was a horrible silence. Never had a button been pushed so blatantly.

"That was a low blow, Tori."

"Right. Fine," Tori said. "I'll make you a deal. You want to go to the Club on Friday to do the trial as a sub, for some weird and twisted reason that you don't care to share with me. Well, I don't want that. And you can't go without me. So here's the thing. You do this for _me_ , just for the week, and at the end of it, however it goes, I'll take you. Heck, I'll even cheer you on, and buy popcorn, if that's what you want."

"You're _threatening_ me?"

"No! _Damn_ it, Jade, this shouldn't have to be so difficult. You know, most people would be falling over themselves to accept an offer like this, and here I am having to practically _beg_ you to do it."

"Good point." Jade said. "Whatever happened to _enslaving_ your sub, bending them to your will through your sheer dominance? I'm not sure I want a sub that's throwing herself at me, it smacks of desperation."

"I'll smack _you_ with desperation in a minute."

"That doesn't even make sense."

"Look," Tori said, seriously. "If you want me to take you to the Club, if you want me to stand by while all that stuff happens to you, then I need to do this. I need to know that when we're in there, you can look me in the eye and know that I understand at least a little bit of what you're going through."

Jade was silent.

" _Please?_ "

The bell rang. The look on Tori's face was too much for even Jade to resist, and she relented. "I'll _think_ about it," she said with a sigh, and kissed her briefly. "I'll come over tonight."

.

.

.

 _Now_ what am I going to do, Sal? She _asked_ me to do it. She pleaded with me. I know what she wants, really. She's looking for atonement - if I do it to _her,_ she'll feel better about doing it to _me._ But it won't work that way. I don't want to treat her badly. I don't know if I can, now. And if I agree, and go easy on her, she'll go away thinking, _it's no big deal, it's not so bad_.

Maybe she's right, and I'm protecting my victimhood. Maybe I don't _want_ us to be equal. But then again, maybe I _need_ to be this way - if I lose my grudge, I lose my edge. And I need to keep my edge until we've seen this through.

.

.

I'm pathetic, Sal. I tell myself this kind of crap all the time, but the truth is I'm frightened of failing. Frightened of falling flat on my face, of her laughing at me, telling me I was terrible. _She_ isn't frightened, she's just put it all right out there, she's willing to take the chance, but me...

I know I said I'd never do this because I thought it would break her, but I'd never really considered the idea of her _wanting_ to do it. Hell, insisting on it. And now she has, I don't know what to do. This is her thing, you know? It's like cooking lunch for a chef. I feel like I'll be judged and found wanting, that she'll discuss it all afterwards with her mom and they'll laugh about me. I don't want to look ridiculous.

Yeah, thanks, Sal, I'm well aware of how I've lived my life recently. I mean I don't want to look ridiculous to _her_.

You know, Sal, there are times when I lay awake at night, wondering if there aren't a million other versions of me somewhere, each with their own universe, doing their own thing, and sometimes I picture them all getting together up there, and watching my life. What would they think, Sal? What would they think of me, and what I do? Would they laugh at me? Would they be _ashamed_ of me? Would they all agree that I was the very _worst_ of them?

Or would they take pity on me? Would they _help_ me? That's a nice thought, isn't it Sal? That if I cried out to them in my hour of need, they'd come, in their infinite multitude, to protect one of their own. An army of Jade Wests descending from the heavens, black hearts beating in righteous anger, to tear the Diamond Club apart.

.

.

.

 **Just a little tip of the hat to 'Revenge Of The Wolf', by Quitting Time.**


	30. Chapter 30 - Le Déjeuner sur l'Herbe

**Hi, sorry I'm late, I've been at bit busy. Spot of light relief today - for those of you not interested in Tori's week, if you wait until I've updated a couple more times, you can skip ahead a few chapter to where we go back to the Club, which is a good bit and has Marvin in it.**

 **Sorry, did I say 'Marvin'? I meant 'excruciating agony'. My apologies, Douglas.**

.

.

.

 _ **Tori's Diary – Day 1**_

 _Dear Diary - do people still say that? I've never been good with diaries, I only ever make it to the second of January. But I thought that for this, seeing as it's only a week, I'd make the effort - try and get something down, maybe make sense of what I'm doing. I've no one to talk to, I can't tell my mom I'm doing this. I don't really_ know _why I'm doing this. So I guess this is the next best thing. Jade had her little recorder doohickey, and I've got you._

 _She said yes._

 _._

"Is this _really_ what you want, Tori?"

.

 _For a moment I wasn't sure. Not because I didn't want it, but because... she sounded so sombre, so resigned, like this was going to be some awful ordeal for her. I don't want that. I want her to enjoy it. It's not every day you get an offer like this, is it? Hot slave girl for a week? Maybe I'm not that hot. Maybe she thinks I'm just a drag. But anyway, I'd thought I'd give it the good old college try._

 _._

"Yes, it is."

"And if I agree, we go to the Club?"

"Yes. Promise."

"Then I'll do it."

"Yay! I mean, um, good. So... are we 'on' now?"

"Not yet, Tori," Jade said. "Not yet. We have much to discuss first."

.

 _It turned out there were going to be rules. And not just any rules._

 _My rules._

 _._

"I hope you remember them all, because _I_ do." She paused. "I remember them _very_ well."

.

 _I admit I got goose bumps when she said that. She was so serious, and I felt a bit guilty because I'm not sure I_ can _remember what the rules were. Let's see, there was no touching, no cutting your hair, no... Maybe I wrote them down somewhere. They seemed pretty reasonable at the time, I was quite proud of them._

 _I'm back. I found them. Nice one, Tori, you dunce. Of course they seemed pretty reasonable to you, you weren't the one who had to follow them. Damn it._

 _._

"So," Jade went on, "your rules. But on _my_ terms. And here they are. You're 'on' round the clock. Twenty-four seven. You want the full, _immersive_ experience, then that's how it's gonna be. When I call, you come running. When I say do it, you do it. When I say 'jump', you say...?"

"How high?"

"No! You just jump as fast and as high as you can, and hope I'm happy with you. Because woe betide you if I'm not. If I want us to take a break, I'll tell you you're off the clock. When that happens, you can say what you want, do what you want, we're outside of all of this. That's at my discretion. You can ask, maybe you'll get it, maybe you won't. But I won't put you back 'on' if we're in the middle of something, or having an argument. I'll give you fair warning.

"I won't ask you to do anything that I think will upset you, or mess with your head, or have any kind of 'real world' consequences. I'm not going to have you tattooed, I'm not going to take you to the Club, I'm not going to embarrass you in front of your friends. I'm not going to try to _trick_ you, or set you up to fail. If you think I'm about to do any of these things... then for God's sake, _say_ something, Tori. This is still a game, and I don't want to hurt you. You want this, so try your best, but don't let it get too much. We've both got to live with this when we're done."

Tori nodded.

"And at the end of the week, we're going to find out just what kind of a sub you were."

"What do you mean?"

"This," Jade held up a small, black object, "is your nemesis."

"What is it?"

"It's a tally counter." She clicked it once, and the numbers on the face changed from _'000'_ to _'001'_.

"We're going to keep count," she said. "Every time you disobey me, every time you disappoint me, or question me, or fail me in any way, you get a click."

 _Click._

"Every hesitation, every _'if'_ , every _'but'_ , every roll of the eyes or mopey look, earns you a click."

 _Click_.

Every time I have to tell you something twice, 'cause you're too busy fiddling with your hair, that's a click."

 _Click._

"Every time you break one of your rules... Guess what? Clickety-click."

 _Click. Click._

"And at the end of the week," she said, "we get to find out your final score." She reset the counter to zero. "And that's when it gets _really_ interesting."

"Does it?" said Tori, warily, still looking at the counter.

"Yes it does. Because I'm not going to punish you just yet."

"You're... not?"

"No."

"I don't get it."

"No, but you will. You'll _definitely_ get it. Because we both know that half the pleasure," she said, walking around Tori until she stood behind her, "half the _fear_ of being punished, lies in the antici..." She leaned close until she was breathing in the other girl's ear. "...pation." She laughed as Tori flinched, and went over to the bedside table, pulling out the long, wooden paddle. "So at the end of the week," she said, waving it for emphasis, "I'm going to tie you over this bed so you can't move a muscle, and I'm going to take _this_ little guy, and I'm going to give you the number of strokes on the counter. No more, no less. Might be three, might be three hundred, depends on how good you've been. But that's it. No mercy, no malice. Do you understand? I've never used this thing before, so you'll just have to take it as it comes. But, hey, I'm a quick learner, I'm sure I'll figure it out as I go along. In fact, the more strokes you earn, the better I'll be." She gave it an experimental thwack against the bed, hard enough to make Tori jump.

"I..."

"What? You don't think that's fair?" Jade said, surprised. "I used to get a dozen every time, you're only getting one for each time you mess up. So you'll only have to spend _one_ day nursing your ass, instead of walking round half the time looking like you've crapped your pants."

"Well, I guess," Tori said, hesitantly, "but..."

"Okay, fine. If you don't want to. We'll forget it. This was your idea, Tori," Jade said. "But if you've changed your mind, then I'll just carry on with my application, and go as a domme later on." She sat down on the bed and inspected her fingernails. "I might take Stephanie," she said, casually. "She seems nice."

Tori's eyes narrowed. She'd heard about Stephanie, and how nice she was. "Do I... get a safeword?"

"A safeword?" Jade raised her eyebrows. "Don't you _trust_ me?"

"Of course I do, it's just-"

"Don't you have absolute faith in me to decide what's best for you?"

"Well yes, but-"

"I'm pretty sure it says somewhere in volume twelve of _Tori's Big Book of Rules_ that-"

"All right! All right. I get it. No safeword."

"Tori Vega," Jade pouted, "I _love_ it when you're reckless. Of course you should have a safeword."

"Thank you."

"It's... _'Forgotten'_."

"Oh."

" _'Oh'_ indeed," Jade said, with a grin. "So, those are my terms. " She looked at the clock. "It's nearly seven. If you want to do this, we'll start at seven. You've got two minutes to decide."

Tori bit her lip. "What if I say no?"

Jade shrugged. "You can _always_ say no," she said. "You don't have to do any of it. You can stop it any time. But if you agree _tonight_ , you take me to Club next week, whether you bail later or not. That's the deal."

Tori looked at the time. 6:59.

"If you don't decide before seven," Jade said. "The deal's off."

Tori's eyes flickered from the paddle, to the counter, to the clock, and back to Jade. She licked dry lips. "I'll do it," she said.

"On my terms?"

"However you like."

"Well _okay."_ The clock ticked over. "So," Jade said. "It's seven o'clock."

"Yes."

"And yet, here you are." She sighed theatrically and shook her head. "Still dressed."

Panic set in as Tori grabbed frantically at her buttons. But it was too late.

 _Click._

 _._

 _God damn it. I forgot that one._

 _._

"Well that's better. A definite improvement," Jade said, as Tori stood there naked. "In fact there's only one thing missing."

.

 _She gave me a dog collar. Not one of the fancy ones from Dimmesdale's, either, but an honest-to-goodness dog collar, like from a pet store or something. It even had one of those brass name-tags on it._

 _It said, 'Tori'._

 _._

"You know, that really suits you. Matches your eyes."

"Hmm."

"I don't hear a 'Thank you'."

"Thank you."

"Thank you...?"

"Thank you, _Mistress_."

"That's better. Right," Jade said, rubbing her hands, "that's the formalities out of the way, let's have some fun. Mistress says..."

.

 _Anyway, we got into it after that, and she made me do some goofy stuff, you know, just messing around with me like I did the first time. Stand on one leg, do a little dance, she made me do a handstand and I fell over and she laughed, and I laughed too, and I thought that was going to mean trouble but she didn't seem to care. She made me kiss her feet, then she made me kiss... other bits of her, and then she opened up my wardrobe and her eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store, and we broke everything out and she put me through my paces like a pro. She even stuck the video we made over at her place on the TV, and we watched it while we were doing it - that was surreal, seeing us like that. But I looked pretty hot, even if I do say so myself._

 _But the weird thing was, I didn't feel embarrassed. I mean I_ did, _I could only imagine what my mom would say if she saw me, but I didn't feel embarrassed in front of_ her. _It was like..._

 _When she laughed, she wasn't laughing at me. It felt like we were in this together. Okay, sometimes she_ was _laughing at me, but it was worth it. Because in the entire time we were 'together', she never laughed once._

 _And neither did I._

 _She was right, though. This is never going to be the same for me as it was for her. It's never going to be a shock. I've seen all this stuff before, been around this block, and so has she, now. She'll never be able to bring herself to do the things that I did because she understands what it's like. I'm probably safer with her than I am with anyone. I guess I'll just ride it out and see where we go._

 _She gave the bed a hell of a whack with the paddle, though. I wonder if I should offer to train her before I let her loose with it. Or would that be weird?_

 _Yeah, that would be weird. Maybe I should ask my mom to give her a few tips._

 _God, no. That would be even weirder. Crap. Sometimes I think I've been doing this for so long I've lost all track of what 'weird' is._

 _Anyway, we snuggled up after we were done and I hoped she might stay over, but she said she had to do some stuff. She said she'd be back in the morning and we'd go out for the day. I remembered something my mom had mentioned once, and I asked her if I was allowed to sleep in the bed. She looked at me like I was a lunatic._

 _._

"Of course you can sleep in bed, Tori. It's your _bed_. That's what it's for."

"Well, yeah. It's just that, I mean, I know you're not going to be _here_ or anything, but if we're on full-time, my mom says that sometimes-"

"Tori," Jade cut her off. "Babe. You know I love you dearly, but this is rule number one. Numero uno." She reached for the collar and pulled Tori up until their faces were almost touching. "If you ever, _ever_ , say the words 'my mom says' while we're doing this," she said. "I will click this damn thing until my thumb drops off, and you'll be sleeping on the floor for a month, sub or no sub. Understand?"

"Yip."

Jade released the collar. "Good girl," she said. "Now you get a good night's sleep, and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Should I bring anything?"

"Just your sunglasses." And with that she was gone.

.

 _So, I'm one click down, but mostly still alive. I don't care what she says about only spending one day sat on a pillow, if she keeps this up I'm going to be walking with my legs so far apart I'll have to start auditioning for westerns._

 _Looking forward to tomorrow, though. I wonder where we're going?_

.

.

.

 _ **Tori's Diary – Day 2**_

 _Shadow Creek Park. We drove through Shadow Creek Park._

 _It's actually kind of beautiful up there, when you're not in fear of being buried alive by a shovel-wielding maniac. But that seems a long time ago now, before I fell in love with her. The roof was down, so I put my sunglasses on and leaned back, basking in the sunshine._

"Why don't you lean the seat back a little?"

Jade's suggestions weren't really 'suggestions', so Tori did as she was told.

"That better? More comfortable?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Feeling pretty relaxed?"

"Yes, thanks."

"Good. I'm glad. Now strip."

"I... What? Here?"

 _Click._

.

 _She clicked me. Again. Man, I have_ got _to get on top of this._

.

"But-"

"You want another one?"

"No! But I mean, everything?"

"Of course not."

"Thank God."

"That's why you brought your sunglasses."

.

 _I can't believe I did it. It was strange, feeling the air across my body, knowing there was nothing between me and the sky. I closed my eyes. I thought if I kept my eyes shut, nobody could see me._

 _Yes, I know that's stupid, Mr Smarty-pants Diary, but I wasn't thinking straight._

 _So we drove for a few miles, and it wasn't too bad. I got kind of used to it, and there was no traffic, so I thought, I can cope with this._

 _And then I felt her hand on my thigh._

.

"Quit squirming and relax, Tori. Just move your... That's better. You like that? Yeah, I _bet_ you do."

Jade started to hum happily to herself. " _Let it go, let it go..."_

" _Ohhh..._ "

"Don't you dare 'let it go', Vega, you horny little minx," she snapped. "Otherwise you're walking home. Like _that_."

"Eek."

"That's better. We've got a long way to go, and you're not gonna get there before I do. _Let it go, let it go..._ "

.

 _We drove like that for what felt like hours. I thought I was going to explode. I didn't dare open my eyes in case the sight of what she was doing sent me over the edge. After a while I heard the roof close, and I figured there must have been traffic or something. But I didn't really care by then. There was just me, and the purr of the engine, and Jade's hand._

 _And just when I thought it couldn't get worse..._

.

"Hey, Tori. You hungry?"

 _"...ohgodohgodohgoddontstopdontstopdont..._ wha'?"

"I _said_ , are you hungry?" Jade put both hands back on the wheel. There was a groan of disappointment as a dishevelled Tori raised her head and sat up.

"I don't know. I guess?"

"Good. Let's eat."

"Okay, that sounds-"

"There's a drive-through just off here."

.

 _I nearly wet my pants right there and then. Well I would have done, if I'd been wearing any. I couldn't see her eyes through her sunglasses, but she had this massive grin on her face, looking at me, like she was daring me to say something. So I just sat there, with my hands covering my... you know, praying that she didn't drop the roof again._

 _She let me sit there like that for a good ten minutes before she gave in._

.

"Relax, Tori. I'm not going to let some grubby little burger-boy get his eyes on my girl."

"...Thank you."

"I packed us a picnic."

.

 _We pulled of the main highway, and down some winding roads into the valley. It was cooler down there, and the further we went the greener it got, until we wound up in this little clearing, with trees, and grass, and flowers, and a trickle of a stream. She stopped the car, but she didn't say anything about getting dressed, so I didn't, I just got out and stood there, feeling the dappled sun on my skin and the grass tickle under my feet, while she popped the trunk and pulled out this big old blanket, spreading it on the ground carefully, straightening all the edges, moving any little stones or twigs that might stick up, then she grabbed a wicker hamper, and told me to sit down._

 _So I did. I sat right down there, with my bare ass on the wool, and she kicked off her boots, and we had a picnic._

 _Or at least we started a picnic. It was the strangest feeling, sitting there without a stitch on, watching her fuss over the food, smiling shyly like she really wanted me to be pleased, and all I could think was - this is for me. All of this, this little glade, the sun, the flowers, the picnic, it's all mine. Everything else felt so distant, the Club, the deal, my mom. It all felt so unreal, compared to this. It was like..._

 _I remember this old painting I saw once, where these two guys and this woman are having lunch by a river, and it's all perfectly normal - except the woman's naked, just sat there in the buff, and nobody seems to care, they're just hanging out like it's the most natural thing in the world. And that's how it felt. Like it was the most natural thing in the world._

 _Anyway, then she asked me to get her the mustard, so I started rooting around in the hamper, but I couldn't find it anywhere, and I started to panic, like it was my fault I couldn't find it, and she was going to be mad, so I kept looking, and I was looking and looking for ages..._

 _But now I come to think about it, I don't think there ever_ was _any mustard, because when I looked up, I noticed she was grinning, then I noticed she was naked, then she was on top of me, plates going everywhere, and we rolled, laughing, through the long grass, bodies pressed together, legs intertwined, over and over and..._

 _...and then I have to admit, I let it go._

 _I_ really _let it go._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 **The title of the painting Tori's thinking of is 'Le Déjeuner sur l'Herbe' by Manet. Just in case you wanted to know.**

 **And thanks again to Max Tomos for his ideas.**


	31. Chapter 31 - And So It Begins

**Hi, just a short one today – this is kind of a two-parter, the second half will come out in a day or two. We're just having a little fun for a while.**

 **Thank you for your reviews, all comments welcome.**

.

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 _ **Tori's Diary – Day 3**_

 _I belong to her. I belong to Jade. I mean, I know it's only a week, and I know it's not real, but it still feels strange. Comforting. Liberating, almost. I don't know how to explain it. I don't really feel owned, I feel... protected._

 _Even after that thing last night. Man, I really thought she was going to..._

 _Never mind. Anyway, I was pretty nervous about school this morning. I didn't really know what she'd expect of me. She didn't say anything about the collar, so I wore it anyway with a scarf over it so no one could see. Even that felt risky. She came to pick me up, and I wasn't ready, so clickety-click - she's pretty ruthless with that thing, but she'd told me to be ready so I guess I can't complain. Everything was pretty cool on the drive to school, she wasn't mad or anything, so it's all good..._

 _Is that strange? I see what she meant now, about keeping everything compartmentalized. We're laughing and joking as we drive along, even though five minutes earlier she made a promise that she's going to hurt me. That's what each click means. And I'm laughing right back, even though I don't want her to. How can we do that? How can we look each other in the eye? I guess people can rationalize all kinds of stuff. Anyway, then we arrived._

 _She made me put it in right there and then. I mean, I knew it was coming, but in the parking lot? I was mortified in case someone saw me, but she just sat there, watching, smiling away, and I got right on it - no click for Tori this time, yay! I think that's how it is with her, that's where she gets a kick - she doesn't so much do things_ to _me, as make_ me _do them, like we're on some big 'dare'. And the thing is, the more she 'dares' me to do things, the more she sits there looking at me all expectantly, the more I want to do it, just to prove to her that I can. And you know why? Because when I_ have _done it, she gets this big goofy grin on her face, and she hugs me, and I feel like I've really impressed her. Does that make me sound pathetic? Maybe. But it doesn't feel like it. It feels like she's pleased_ for _me. Like I've earned some respect._

 _Yeah, I know the words 'respect' and 'butt-plug' don't really go together, Mr Diary, but tough._

 _I'll walk you to class, she said, when we got in. That sounds sweet, doesn't it? Romantic. Nice. What she didn't tell me, of course, was that on the way we'd take a detour into the girls' bathroom, so she could drag me into a stall, tease me like crazy until I was ready to pop, then zip me up, pat me on the ass, and send me on my way to class - hot, horny and late._

 _Every class. Every single one. Even if she had to walk like a mile to get there. I got so used to it that by the time the lesson had finished I was already unzipping my pants, just to save time. I don't know if she's going to do this all week. Maybe she's trying to train me to start drooling at the sound of a bell, like that guy with the dogs._

 _Anyway, by the time we came home I was frustrated as hell, but she just winked at me and said she'd come over later. I bet she's at home, all smug, probably having a good old..._

 _Well the joke's on her, Mr Diary. Oh, yes it is. You know why? Because I'm breaking a 'rule' right now. yeh im breking a rul rite nw yes I am rt nw wys it so haard to wrt wih ths hnd_

 _O gd_

 _..._

 _.._

 _._

 _Crap, I should cross that out. Sorry, Mr Diary, you shouldn't have had to see that. I hope she never reads this. Anyway, I didn't go too far. I don't want to break_ that _rule. Not if she's coming over._

 _That would be no fun at all._

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.

.

I'm doin' it, Ma, I'm doin' it! Look at me, Sal, I'm a dominatrix! I bestride the world like a corseted colossus, bending the weak to my will. I impart wisdom, I bring correction. I set them free, that they may crawl back to me. I clip their wings that they may fly. I am the alpha and the omega. I understand calculus. I see dead people. I know kung fu. I am become Shiva, destroyer of butts.

Except I'm not, of course, I'd probably get debarred, or defrocked, or struck off the register of the American Dildo Association or whatever it is, because I don't really know what the fuck I'm doing. Any decent, self-respecting domme would probably ride me out of town on a rail, but hey, who cares? Tori seems to like it, and her opinion's the only one that counts. I'm giving it my best shot, for her.

Yeah, you heard me, Sal. I know this is all supposed to be about teaching her a lesson, showing her the error of her ways. But guess what? She already knows that. That's why she's doing this. So would it really be so bad to have a little fun?

And we _have_ had fun, these last couple of days. At least, I think we have. Judging by the way her toes curl whenever I finally let her go, I think I'm doing okay. The picnic was a blast, even though we didn't eat much. I think I've still got caviar up my ass-crack, we took a shower when we got back, but I'm probably still sitting on fifty dollars-worth. The shower - I couldn't help it, I'm sorry. It was kind of cruel. She finished washing me, and I turned around, and got her down on her knees, and...

She did it, Sal. I swear to God. She knew what I was going to do, and she got down there, anyway. She's a trier, I'll give her credit. Her face was a picture. I wonder if I looked like that? But then I didn't know what was going to happen. She knew perfectly well.

I made her close her eyes and then I sprayed her with the shower head instead. For a minute she must have thought I'd been saving it up for weeks. She took it in pretty good spirits, though, and we had a giggle afterwards. I bet she doesn't put it in her diary, though.

Yeah, I know she's keeping a diary. It's my job as a conscientious domme to be as nosy as possible, if Holly's anything to go by. I wouldn't read it, though. I know what that feels like.

The only problem I have, Sal, is that I wish I'd never said we'd be on the clock so much. I don't know what to _do_ with her in the down-time. That's half the reason I don't stay over, to give it a rest. And that's why I spent all day teasing her at school, because when we're not actually _doing_ something, I can't face doing _nothing_.

The thing is, that was fine for her. That was part of the attraction. She could sit for hours reading a magazine while I just knelt there, naked, looking all pathetic. But for me, I'd get pretty tired of that even if she were my worst enemy. I mean, what's the _point_? I want conflict and excitement. I don't want Tori on her knees, I want her up here in my face - arguing with me, standing up for herself, giving as good as she gets. I need the _fire_.

I sometimes think Trixie was right. This isn't for people like us. We bore too easily. And that's dangerous. Because when you get bored, you either walk away, or you go further and further, down the rabbit-hole, looking for the kick that'll make it all worthwhile again. And before you know it, you've gone too far, and you find yourself at the Diamond Club, and you don't know what's real and what isn't.

So I'm still hamstrung by the rules, Sal, even though I'm on the other side of them this time. I've given her my terms, and I can't take them back without looking...

Christ, I nearly said it, Sal. I nearly said I'd look _weak_. Maybe the Diamond Club's rubbing off on me. Ugh.

.

Wait a minute, I _know_ these rules, Sal. And I pretty sure one of these rules says I can change the rules any time I like. _Me_. I'm the fucking domme, that's what her rules say. That's what this is all about. _I'm_ the domme, and _I_ get to say what's what. And if I want to mix it up, then I will.

Yeah, I know what I sound like, Sal, but trust me. Even when you're playing the most beautiful instrument in the world, sometimes you have to play it by ear.

I'm taking her out tonight. She doesn't know it yet, but I am. I just need to go to Dimmesdale's first.

Maybe I'll make it a duet. See ya.

.

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.

"It is I," Jade announced, sweeping into Tori's room. "Your beautiful Mistress, come to... Whoa!"

Tori was laid out seductively on the bed. "Hello, Mistress," she purred. "Do you like what you see?"

"I very much like it."

"Well, it's all yours, Mistress."

"Then get it off the bed and get it dressed. We're going out."

"What? Oh." Tori sounded disappointed. "I thought that you'd want..."

 _Click._

"What was that for?"

"Thinking."

"But-"

 _Click._

"And arguing."

"I-"

"You want to go for the hat-trick?"

Tori bit back the words. "No," she muttered.

"No, what?"

"No, Mistress."

"That's better. Now," Jade said, "come and sit down." She pointed to the chair in front of Tori's dressing table.

Tori did as she was told. Jade picked up the hairbrush, and a look of alarm crossed Tori's face.

"Relax. I'm not going to spank you with it. I'm just going to fix your hair."

"Um, okay," Tori said. "But shouldn't I be-"

"Hush."

Jade hummed as she busied herself, working Tori's hair into a French plait. The gentle strokes of the brush felt almost erotic, and Tori closed her eyes, revelling in the feel of it, shivering at the occasional skin contact as Jade's hands moved around her. "There," Jade said eventually. "Done." She lowered her head to rest in on Tori's shoulder, and together they looked into the mirror.

Tori shifted her head slightly from side to side, admiring Jade's handiwork. "I like it," she said.

"Aren't you pretty?"

Tori blushed. "I'm the prettiest slave in the whole wide world," she murmured.

"You're the prettiest _girl_ in the whole wide world," Jade said, sternly. "The fact that you're a slave is temporary," she kissed Tori's neck, "and irrelevant." She kissed it again, letting her hands slide forward from the other girl's shoulders, feeling her respond with a soft moan. "Now come on. Time to get dressed."

Tori sighed, as Jade's hands left her. "What should I wear?"

"Whatever you want."

"I mean, where are we going?"

"Out for dinner."

"Okay. Should I... wear the collar?"

"No, Tori. It's not some kind of bondage restaurant, if such a thing exists. Which, God help us, it probably does. It's a nice restaurant. So pick something appropriate. If you really want a collar, wear that choker with the black stone."

"Right."

"Oh, and here. I bought you something."

Tori opened the box, to find a small, folded confection in red lace. Not exactly to her tastes, but she wasn't the one who…

Her fingers traced further, and she felt what was sewn into the lining. She looked up to see Jade smiling, a small remote control in her hand.

Uh-oh.

.

.

.

" _You're late. Again," the woman said._

" _I'm sorry, Mistress."_

" _I know what you're trying to do, Sally. I'm not stupid."_

" _I don't know what you mean, Mistress."_

" _Don't play games with me. You're trying to make me angry. To make me lose my temper so that I'll punish you harder."_

" _I'm not!"_

" _If I'm not enough for you, then maybe you should find someone else who can give you what you want. There are some things I won't do, Sally. Some lengths I won't go to. And If you keep pushing me, I'll have to send you away."_

" _No, please, I'm sorry, I didn't-"_

 _The woman sighed. "I don't know what you're looking for, Sally," she said, softly. "One day I hope you'll tell me. But you won't find it like this. The safeword isn't a goal, it's not a target to be reached. It's supposed to be there for your protection, do you understand?"_

" _Yes, Mistress."_

" _Because I know what happens when people go too far. I know all too well."_

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	32. Chapter 32 - Cainette and Abelina

**Okay, here's the second half of the evening's shenanigans. Please don't take any of this too seriously, Freud's probably spinning in his grave...**

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _Holly lay on the bed, drifting in and out of consciousness. She was glad Tori had gone out. Their conversation the other night had troubled her, not just because of what had happened, although that was bad enough. But Tori had Jade, now, wherever they went from here, and maybe Jade could give her the protection she'd so completely failed to provide. All she was left with was the memory..._

.

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.

They sat in the restaurant at a table in the corner, Jade with her elbows on the table, resting her chin on her hands, Tori with her hands folded primly on her lap. The waiter arrived, and Jade ordered a bottle of wine, responding to his skeptical enquiry about their ages by pulling out two fake IDs, and fanning them triumphantly in his face like a pair of aces.

"So," she said, when he'd gone. "You like this place?"

"Yes, Mistress."

"I've never been here before, but I hear good things about it."

Tori just nodded.

"And I thought, well, we kind of _earned_ that money, so why not live a little?"

Again, Tori's response was underwhelming.

"Are you okay?" Jade asked, concerned. "Look, if you're not comfortable, we can always-"

"No!" Tori said. "No. I'm fine. Mistress."

"Oh. Good." Jade drummed her fingers on the table, impatiently. "Do you want some wine?"

"Yes, Mistress."

"Here you go." Jade poured it, and watched as Tori shyly took a sip. This was no good. She might as well be talking to the furniture.

"Come on, Tori, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, honestly. It's just..."

"What?"

"I'm not quite sure how you want me to act, Mistress. When we're out."

"Well, how did I act?"

"You were… pretty quiet."

"Was I?"

"Yes, Mistress."

"Oh, right." Jade thought for a moment. "Well, we're not doing that," she said. "Okay, new challenge. Tonight, you're going to be...uppity."

"Uppity?"

"Uppity."

"You want me to be an uppity sub?"

"I want you to be an uppity sub."

"Okay," Tori said, brightly. "So… what does that mean, exactly?"

"It means," said Jade, "that you do what I _say_ , but you can say what you like. So if I tell you to run through the kitchens naked singing _Santa Lucia_ , you do it, but you can bitch about it afterwards."

"Oh. Okay. Thank you, Mistress."

"And don't keep saying 'Mistress' after everything. Not tonight."

"Yes, Mi..." Jade raised an eyebrow. "...Reina."

"What?"

"Tu eres mi Reina," Tori said. "It's Spanish."

"For something awful?"

"No."

"I can look it up, you know."

"No!"

"Okay, then, it sounds pretty sexy. Right, let's just relax."

They relaxed, and Tori soon found that it didn't make a whole heap of difference whether she was allowed to talk or not, because once _Jade_ started talking, it turned out to be impossible to stop her.

Tori realized she'd never actually seen this side of Jade before, the easy-going, chatty one - whenever they'd gone out while they were domme and sub, Jade had simply sat quietly, in what Tori had assumed was mute devotion, but which, she realized glumly, had either been a silent dread at what was in store for her afterwards, or fear of screwing up and blowing her cover altogether. She managed to muster up a touch of resentment at that, as she pictured herself on their 'anniversary' dinner, talking away, blithely unaware of Jade's trickery. But then Jade had paid the price later that night, deception or no deception, and her contempt for Tori had been easily matched by Tori's callousness. She felt slightly jealous of Beck. He must have seen this all the time, probably fell in love with this side of her, never had to think about any of this.

After a while, she had to pee. Jade was in the middle of a complicated explanation of the fine, but apparently important, distinction between a multiple murderer and a serial killer, a subject she seemed worryingly enthusiastic about.

"I need to use the bathroom."

"... not necessarily a 'cooling-off' period, and... Oh, okay." Tori got up to go. "You've got five minutes."

"Why five?"

Jade shrugged. "That's the thing about arbitrary rules, Tori. They're _arbitrary_. If you say I can't have my hair cut, I can't have my hair cut. If I say you've got five minutes to pee, you've got five minutes to pee. Following pointless rules is pretty much what this game's all about. Now scoot."

Four-and-a-half minutes later she returned, still drying her hands on her dress. "Well done," Jade said. "No visit from Mr Spanky for you."

Tori sat, with a sour look on her face.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"You want to give it up? It was your idea, if you want to-"

"No!" said Tori. "No. It's just... am I really allowed to say what I want?"

"On my word."

Tori sighed. "It's just when you say stuff like that, it sounds a bit childish," she said. "Like something Cat would say."

"You think I should treat it with a little more gravitas?" Jade said, surprised. "Show a bit more dignity?"

"Well, yes."

"How many moons does your planet have, Tori?"

"What?"

"Of course it sounds childish," Jade said. "It _is_ childish. That's probably the only think Cat ever got right."

"What do you mean?"

"All sex play is childish, Tori. You know why? Because _we_ _like to be children_. We're the only animal that does that, that idolizes its childhood, that has the imagination to see it as something apart from where we are now. To want to go back there. That's why we 'play' at sex at all, instead of just doing it when we need to, because somewhere inside we all want to be little kids again, indulging our infantile fascination with other people's naughty bits. All sex play is child's play, Tori." Jade took a sip of wine, thoughtfully. "And power play doubly so."

.

.

.

 _Holly stood, staring in horror at the bleeding, sobbing mess of a girl on the bed, the bed that she herself had been quite happily tied to only two nights ago. Two nights ago, before her mom had found out, before the sins of the mother had been visited on the daughter. Before…_

" _I'm so sorry, " she whispered, knowing it was too late._

.

.

.

"The sub/dom relationship replicates the dynamic between the older and the younger sibling," Jade said, warming to her theme. "The older sibling wants to dominate because they see it as their right. They take delight in tormenting and teasing the younger, enjoying the power to deny them what they want, because it's the only power they have. It's power _given_ to them, rather than earned. The younger sibling, in turn, wants to please the older - to gain their acceptance, their respect, willing to go to any lengths for their approval. That's why slavery is a bad analogy - no slave wants to be punished, otherwise they wouldn't be a slave. But the younger sibling does. They want that very much."

"Why?"

"Because it's only at the moment they're being punished that they finally get what they crave - the older sibling's undivided attention. They don't want to be hurt by just _anyone_ , what's the point of that? They want this one _particular_ person, because they know that somewhere, behind the pain and cruelty, is love. And that's what they really want, that's what it's all about. Of course, you can dress it up however you want, ritualize it, have clubs and societies, and pretend it's all a very serious, adult, sexy thing we're doing, but deep down we're just kids in the dress-up box, big sis and little sis, playing the oldest game in the world."

"So, what? I wanted to be a domme to get my own back on Trina?"

"No. This isn't about you in particular. It's about respect and security. It's a sliding scale. We all want respect from _someone_ , even if it's just the pet dog, but we also want the protection and safety of looking up to someone else. Where you fit on that scale is up to you. But what would you have given, just once, to have her on her knees when you were a kid? How would that have felt?"

"I don't know, pretty good, I guess, like..."

"...like when I came to your house that night?"

"Yes."

"Child's play, Tori. Think about it - you didn't really want a slave. What you really wanted was a little sister to bully. To admire you, and tell you how amazing you were, someone that would follow you around, that you could punish without recrimination whenever you wanted because they'd still love you."

"No!"

"You don't have to be embarrassed. It's quite cute, in a weird sort of way."

"Cute?"

"That you wanted to be my big sister. And it's _always_ cute when kids take their games seriously, when they really _think_ they're a wizard, or an astronaut, or a domme, or whatever - and that's all fine, as long as you don't go too far, and little Timmy doesn't _really_ get hurt, and you don't forget to come inside when your dinner's ready. Which, I guess, is where the Club comes in."

"What's the Club got to do with it?"

"Do you ever wonder why there _are_ rules, and clubs, and societies? Why we let other people tell us how to do this stuff instead of working it out for ourselves?"

"Well..."

"Restraint, Tori. Peer pressure. _Moderation_. Left to their own devices, the older kid doesn't know the limits - they'll just keep pushing, going further and further, and the younger one will just keep taking it, convinced that the more it hurts, the more they must be loved, because the alternative is too horrible to think about. So the rules, or the club, or the 'community', act as a brake. They play the parental role, turning a blind eye to a certain amount of cruelty - because hey, kids will be kids - but always ready to step in if things go too far, to protect the younger and chastise the older. So in a way, the Club's not so much _'Big Brother',_ as it is _'Big Momma'_ ," Jade said. "Although in your case, 'Big Momma' might be due a visit from Social Services."

Tori blinked, twice. "How do you know all this?"

Jade looked at her for a moment, then shrugged. "I don't," she said, with a grin. "I just made it up. But it makes as much sense as any of the garbage your mom keeps spouting. Don't worry, I'm sure there's a very serious explanation for it all, that makes you sound less like a bunch of five-year-olds."

"Hey!"

"Probably Stockholm Syndrome, or something," she said. "Right, here's the waiter. Poker face, Tori."

Tori looked blank. She'd practically forgotten what she was wearing, until she felt the first stirrings as Jade activated the remote. "Ooh..."

The waiter came nearer, and Tori felt the vibrations increase with every step as he approached. "Are you ready to order, ladies?"

Tori's face was rigid. As long as she didn't have to say anything...

"Why don't you order for us both, Tori?" Jade said, sweetly.

"No, it's fine," Tori mumbled into her glass. "I'll have anything." The waiter gave her an odd look, and turned to Jade.

"No, please," Jade smiled, and gave the remote a nudge. "I insist."

Tori gripped the menu and tried to focus on the words, while down below the constant purr of the device worked its terrible magic, no matter how hard she clamped her legs together. She wondered if the waiter could hear it, she felt as though the entire restaurant was shaking. Finally she gave up trying to make any kind of decision and blurted out the first thing that came into her head.

The waiter paused for a moment, and retrieved their menus with a slight shake of the head, as though questioning the whole point of even _having_ a restaurant if this was the clientele you could expect.

" _Really_ , Tori?" Jade said, when he was gone. "Spaghetti and meatballs?"

Tori exhaled in exhaustion as Jade turned the remote down to a low throb. "It was all I could think of!" she said. "It's kind of hard to read French when all you can think about is..."

"Is what?" Jade pouted. "Me?"

"No." Jade turned it up again. "Yes!" Tori yelped. "Yes! Definitely you!"

"That's better."

"You know if you keep doing that," she said, crossly. "I'm going to-"

"Not yet, you're not." Jade turned it down again. "Oh look, the waiter's back."

"Oh God."

The waiter returned, to serve them up Chef's refusal to produce spaghetti and meatballs, garnished with a hint of sarcasm, and the suggestion that they order something else. Tori braced herself, but Jade took pity, and let her choose from the menu without distraction. The relief was short-lived.

"Do you know this thing goes up to eleven?" Jade said, inspecting the remote control.

"What am I on now?"

"Four."

"Jade..."

"Relax. I'm just going to keep you on 'simmer'."

"Thank you." Tori sounded genuinely grateful.

"For the time being."

"Oh."

"But if you're a good girl, I have something for you."

Tori perked up. "A present?"

"Just wait and see. Now, where was I?" Jade stared at the remote. "Oh, yes. Five."

" _Ohhhhhh.._."

Tori stayed somewhere between _'simmer'_ and _'boil'_ until their meal arrived, the conversation now one-sided for a different reason, Tori's contributions mainly consisting of little moans and groans as Jade toyed gleefully with the remote. By the time the food was in front of them, Jade decided that they wouldn't be approached for a while, and turned it down a little.

"Here," she said. She put a closed hand on the table. "This is for you."

"What is it?"

"Well... What beats a pair?"

"What?"

"In poker. What beats a pair?"

"I don't know, um..."

"Two pair." She opened her hand, to reveal a small remote, identical to the one on the table. Tori stared at it for a moment, as it sank in.

"You bought..."

"Yes, I did."

"And you're..."

"Yes, I am."

"And you want me to..."

"I don't _want_ you to do anything, Tori."

"Oh." Tori sounded a little disappointed. "I thought-"

"You're off the clock."

Tori's eyes lit up. "I am?"

"Absolutely," said Jade. "For the rest of the night. So you can pretty much do whatever you..."

She hadn't even finished when she felt the first jolt. "...want," she finished, weakly. She hadn't realized quite how powerful these things were. The look on Tori's face was almost diabolically mischievous, her grin practically reaching her ears.

The grin disappeared when Jade gave her a retaliatory burst of 'seven', making her eyes water. And after that, it was on.

Back and forth, up and down, waxing and waning, the sensations ebbed and flowed as they chased each other to the brink, and back again. Pleasure given, pleasure withdrawn. Short breaths and deep sighs. And all the time the constant hum of the vibrators, like the music of a hidden orchestra, playing a duet of their own devising.

"Enough!" Jade panted, finally. "Enough."

Tori was about to protest, until she saw the look on Jade's face. "What?"

Jade placed her remote on the table next to her plate, finger poised on the controls. She grinned. "Are you ready to go all in?"

It took Tori a couple of seconds to understand, then she gave a coy smile. She placed her own remote on the table, mirroring Jade. "I'm ready."

"Then I'll see you on the other side."

She took Tori's hand in hers, and they turned it up to eleven.

Hand in hand, eyes locked on one another - smiling, watching, _waiting_ , alternately stemming the tide and surfing it, reading each other's thoughts, feeling each other's reactions, trying to reach the brink together. The rest of the world faded into silence, the clink of cutlery muffled by the pressure of the air around them, between them, until the only sound left was the drumming of their heartbeats racing as the minutes stretched out, and then…

It was Tori who broke first - Jade heard her little gasp and felt the other girl's grip tighten, and she closed her eyes in response, clearing her mind, letting the waves of pleasure crash over her, her free hand clasping at anything to stop herself crying out. _Now now now this is what you want all you ever wanted she wants it too now now now let it go..._

When she opened her eyes a few seconds later, Tori's head was bowed low over her plate, her shoulders rising and falling as she breathed. Jade reached out and quietly shut off both remotes. She glanced around the restaurant. "Hey," she said quietly. "Are you okay?"

Tori looked up, and blew a stray strand of hair off her face. She was bright red. "I just came in front of a restaurant full of people," she grinned. "Yeah. I'm very _much_ okay. You?"

"I'm fine."

"Just fine?"

Jade looked rather sheepish, and placed a fork between them. Tori looked down to see it was bent almost double. She looked back up at Jade, and the adorable blush on her face made her start to giggle. "I hope we don't have to pay for that."

"It'll be nothing compared to the cleaning bill for these seats."

Tori's giggle exploded into a laugh, and then Jade cracked too, and before they knew it they were both laughing fit to burst, tears streaming down their faces, hands clasped together. And then, and _only_ then, did the good burghers of L.A. turn around, tutting and murmuring, united in condemnation - totally unaware that they'd just missed the two prettiest girls in the restaurant having the time of their lives.

.

.

.

 _There was no response, only a low, wretched sobbing, as she reached out, tentatively to unfasten the cuffs. The safeword had come and gone - whispered, then spoken, then shouted, then screamed, but none of it had made any difference. Because in that moment, Holly had forgotten. Forgotten who she was. In that moment, it wasn't Caroline on the bed._

 _It was her mother._

 _._

 _._

 _._


	33. Chapter 33 - Me Love You Long Time

**Hey, how are we all? Here we are again, another day in the life of Tori Vega, uppity sub. And if you look very, very closely, you might spot a guest appearance by the actual plot…**

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 _ **Tori's Diary – Day 4**_

 _Holy cow, Mr Diary, I think last night was probably the most fun I've had so far. You can't imagine what it was like to sit there, holding hands with her, both of us... you know, right there, together, in front of all those people. In the restaurant. I don't know if she had that planned the whole time, but she totally played me like a harp. And the look on her face afterwards was beautiful. She's beautiful. I'm sure we're probably banned for life or something, but Jade left a big tip anyway, so that probably covers the dry cleaning, and we marched out into the night, damp but proud, and laughed about it all the way home. I'm glad she didn't put me back on duty - sorry, 'on the clock', she's a bit weird about 'on duty' - because when we got to my house, she kissed me, kind of shyly, as if we were on a proper date and everything, and I just forgot about the whole 'Mistress' thing and kissed her back. And then when I'd waved her off and said goodnight, I was just... you know in those 50's musicals, where the girl comes in from the date and starts singing and swinging round the furniture 'cos she's so happy? That was me. I think Trina thought I'd lost it. She's pretty confused at the moment, maybe I should talk to her. But lately she's gone a bit funny whenever I mention Jade._

 _I was going to confess to Jade about what I did before she came over, I felt so guilty after she was so nice to me, but I didn't want to spoil the mood. I don't know what she'd have done, and I didn't want to put her on the spot. She's got a big thing about being 'off the clock', I think that's why she doesn't like the 'off duty' thing, when we're off the clock, it's not just me, it's both of us._

 _Actually I'm probably just being a coward. She's coming to pick me up for school soon, maybe I'll tell her then and just take my click like a man. Woman. Girl. Sub. Whatever. I'll-_

 _Oh crap, she's early and I'm not ready. Dang it._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _Heh, heh, heh. Yeah, that's right, Mr Diary. I'm laughing. In writing._

 _I was a very bad girl today. A very naughty girl._

.

"Damn it, sorry, Mistress, I'm not ready, I wasn't-"

"Don't worry about it. I came over early to catch you before you were dressed."

"Oooh."

"Not like that, you nympho."

"Oh."

"I've got something I want you to wear today."

Jade unpacked the bag to show Tori her outfit. It didn't take long, because there wasn't much of it. Tori waited for a while, hoping more might turn up, but that seemed to be the lot. "Come on," Jade said. "Get dressed."

Tori did, and that didn't take long either.

"So," Jade said, admiringly. "What do you think?"

Tori pursed her lips. "What do I think of this beautiful outfit my mistress has so graciously bestowed upon me," she said, "or what do I _actually_ think?"

"What? You don't like it?"

"Well, it's not that I don't _like_ it, as such," Tori said. "It's um, lovely. It's just…"

"What?"

"I look like a hooker. Mistress."

"Good," Jade said, with satisfaction. "That's what I was going for."

Tori stared at her in disbelief. "And you want me to wear this at school?"

"Yes. Is that a problem?"

"I..." Tori steeled herself. "No, Mistress," she said.

"Good girl," Jade said. "Don't worry, you can put something over it for the time being. I'm not putting you on display."

Tori sagged in relief. "Thank God for that... I mean, thank you, Mistress."

"I've got something else in mind."

"What?"

"I'll tell you on the way over."

.

.

.

Tori waited nervously in the janitor's closet. Jade had been very specific about when and where, but annoyingly vague on how. But she was an actress, wasn't she? She could cope. She pulled off the long coat, and looked down at her outfit. Jesus. By the size of it, Jade had last worn this halter top when she was fourteen.

 _The next person who walks through that door..._ It would be Jade, of course. Wouldn't it? Of course it would. She'd never...

Tori was gripped by a sudden fear. What if she sent someone else? What if this were all part of some awful plan to humiliate her? Or worse. She had a sudden vision of Jade outside the door, collecting money, saying 'Go right in," and laughing, expecting her to... She shook her head. That was ridiculous. Jade was her girlfriend, for God's sake, she was hardly going to try and pimp her out in high school. That definitely came under the heading of things Jade would expect her to object to. No. If this was the way Jade wanted to play it, then this was the game they'd play. She pulled an elastic band off a stack of paper towels and dragged her hair up into a high, unruly ponytail. She wants roleplay, she's going to get it.

.

Jade waited nervously outside the janitor's closet, which she'd been closely guarding since she'd seen Tori enter five minutes earlier. Now she was here, she wasn't entirely sure that this was such a good idea. If it didn't work out it was going to be embarrassing for both of them, and she didn't want that. She took a breath, and pushed through the door.

.

"Hey," she said, as she closed the door behind her. "I'm looking..." her voice trailed off at the sight of Tori, leaning rakishly against the wall, one leg bent behind her, thumbs hooked into the low waist of her skirt, a vision of bored lasciviousness. For a moment there was silence, just the pop of her gum as she arched her eyebrows behind her sunglasses.

"Hey, Honey." Her voice was low and predatory. "What can I do for you?"

Jade tried to say something, but failed, still reeling from the sight. "Cat got your tongue?" Tori purred. She arched her back to push away from the wall, slinking towards Jade, hips swaying. "Well, let me help you out," she said. "Here's the deal. Ten bucks gets your hands on me, twenty gets mine on you. Fifty puts me on my knees, and for a hundred..." She tilted her glasses forward and winked. "You can do any damn thing you want to."

"I..." Jade found her throat was dry. "I want-"

"Whoa, wait a minute, hot-shot. Let's see the color of your money first."

Jade stood, open-mouthed, as she realized Tori actually wanted her to pay. She scrabbled for her purse, panicking in case she didn't actually have any cash. She opened it, to find two twenties. She proffered them wordlessly. There was a disapproving 'pop' from the bubblegum.

"Well, last of the big spenders. Didn't really come prepared for the big leagues, did you, sister? You're lucky it's a slow day. Tell you what, here's what I'll do. You give me the forty and we'll call it even, seeing as how you're so _pretty_ , and all."

Tori took the money and stuffed it inside her top. She closed the gap between them until they were almost touching. "You ready, Sugar?" she breathed.

Jade nodded, dumbly.

Tori pushed her gently but firmly against the wall. "Okay, then. Oh, wait..." Tori stroked a hand down Jade's face and leaned in close, as though for a kiss. Jade closed her eyes, her lips parting in response, but instead Tori took out her gum and pushed it into the other girl's mouth, leaving her finger there, savoring the moment as Jade's eyes flicked open in surprise. "You just keep that safe for me, Honey," she murmured, as she slowly withdrew the finger over Jade's lips, patted her on the cheek with a grin, and lowered herself to her knees.

Jade felt cool hands running up the back of her legs, inside her skirt, slowly making their way further and further, and then with a slight tug she felt a shock of cool air. She flinched. "Spread 'em, Sugar," Tori said, from somewhere down below, nudging at her thighs. "Let the dog see the rabbit."

Jade leaned back and moved her legs further apart, ramming her hands behind her back to stop them from shaking so much as she felt the warm caress of Tori's breath.

"That's better. Now..."

.

.

.

It barely seemed credible that the closet was big enough to contain the sensations shuddering through Jade. Tori had done this before, but never with _this_ amount of enthusiasm. 'Hooker' Tori was something else.

"Sweet Jesus." Jade was practically delirious. "Tori..."

"Don't know no 'Tori'," came a muffled response. "Who's she? Your girlfriend?"

"What...?" It took a few seconds for Jade's addled brain to remember that they were supposed to be in character. "I mean, yes. _God_ , yes."

"You love her?"

"Yes!"

"And yet, here you are cheating on her with a cheap little whore like me. Shame on you." Tori's tongue continued its relentless quest. "What kind of a candy-ass name is 'Tori', anyway? She sounds like a drag. I bet she doesn't put out much."

"You'd be surprised," Jade croaked, weakly.

"Oh yeah?" There was a note of challenge in Tori's voice. "Well I bet she never does _this_."

"Oh God!"

.

.

.

 _...and I made forty bucks. How cool is that?_

 _I didn't see her for the rest of the day, I think she was a bit embarrassed, which is kind of cute. She texted me to say she'd see me tonight, so hopefully she's got something fun in mind, maybe I'll get a little payback, if you know what I mean. I live to serve, Mr Diary, I live to serve. And if I keep on serving like this, I think I could get used to it ;-)_

.

.

.

Jade sat on the bed, staring at Sally's index card. It was difficult to concentrate with the events of lunchtime still dancing through her head, visions of a barely dressed Tori Vega swaying towards her with a hooker's strut and a look of dangerous intent. Everything after that seemed a little blurry, the next thing she remembered was a sordid giggle - _Looks like we're done here, Sugar_ \- and the snap of elastic. The sight that had greeted her as Tori rose, face smeared and grinning, one lens of her sunglasses obscenely splattered with the evidence that Jade was indeed 'done', almost kicked her off again. She was sure she'd heard Tori laugh as she bolted from the closet. _Do come again_. God, yes. Tori hadn't offered the money back, and frankly, she deserved it.

The index card. Two cross-references, jumbles of numbers and letters, one presumably Sally's, the other her partner. She still couldn't bring herself to think of Sally as having a domme, the idea of anyone 'dominating' her seemed ludicrous. But then Sally had laughed at her, told her that being a sub or a dom had nothing to do with who you were, any more than liking coffee or tea depended on the color of your hair. Maybe she was right - Tori was as big a wet hen as they came, and yet she loved being a domme. She was even _good_ at it, on a technical level, and if they gave awards for that kind of thing... She stopped herself there. They probably _did_ give awards for that kind of thing, and she really didn't want to think about the fact that, if things had carried on as they were, she would most likely have been Tori's 'Best in Show'. But the thing was, Tori liked it, even though in real life she could barely hold her own against a twelve-year-old. Whereas Jade could stop traffic just by looking at it, and yet the idea of having a 'slave' made her feel uncomfortable and, if she were honest, faintly ridiculous.

She stared again at the numbers. What if they were some sort of grid reference? The last two letters were S.E. Maybe that meant South-East. She raised her head and looked at herself in the mirror. _Sally Easterbrook_. S.E. stood for Sally Easterbrook. She cursed herself. Christ, with this level of insight it's a wonder you find your way home at night, West. Okay. She looked at the last two letters of the other reference.

 _C.M._

Her domme's initials were C.M. Even just knowing that gave her a thrill of satisfaction. Now we're getting somewhere. But she vaguely remembered that Sally had said her domme was older than her, and if the cards were ordered by date as well, there was no telling how long her domme had been a member before Sally went. So there was nothing to say she'd be in the same cabinet.

She tried to picture the records room in her head. Square cabinets set out in rows of six, starting at the back. They never reorder, they just start a new one...

The cabinets never moved. So what if it was based on position? Maybe they did it that way so that if a cabinet was stolen, or they were raided, the links would be untraceable as soon as the cards were moved. Or maybe they just took delight in using the most arcane, complicated system they could, because that appeals to a certain type of person, and the Club was full of them. Pointless rules for pointless people. That would make sense.

Or maybe she was totally wrong. She looked at the numbers again. No more than six cabinets in a row, so if the first digit was, say, the number of steps left from where the card was, then back, then the number of drawers from the end of each cabinet...

There was no way of knowing. She'd have to get in there and try it, see which combination brought her to a drawer with the 'M's in it. But that wouldn't happen until the weekend, and this time she was supposed to be doing a trial, they'd be salivating over her as soon as she walked through the door. She'd barely have chance to get away. Unless...

She couldn't, could she? If she got caught the game was up. But she'd been prepared for this.

 _Plan B._

She felt a little frisson of excitement at the thought of taking matters into her own hands for once. But she was supposed to be going over to Tori's later on. She'd have to cry off, give her an excuse.

No wait, she didn't need to give an excuse, she was in charge. If Jade said she wasn't going, that was that. Absolutely. And then she pictured Tori's sad little pout, could hear her quiet _'Yes, Mistress'_ , could see her putting the phone down in disappointment. Being the ultimate center of Tori's universe seemed to involve an awful lot of attention on her part, considering Tori was supposed to be the slave, but then it was all just a game.

But maybe she _would_ see Tori after all. Maybe this was where Tori got to put her money where mouth was - instead of putting her mouth where _Jade's_ money was, she sniggered to herself. And if she had to have someone beside her...

"Hey, subby girl, it's me. Get yourself over here."

"Yes, Mistress."

"Wear something black, and clingy."

"Oooh, yes, Mistress."

"Maybe leggings and a sweater."

"Er... Right. Okay."

"And sneakers."

"Sneakers..?"

"And do you have a balaclava?"

"What?"

"Never mind. Just get yourself over here. You've got ten minutes."

.

.

.

Eleven minutes later Tori crashed through Jade's bedroom door, hopping desperately on one leg as she tried to peel her pants off with one hand while holding onto her bag. "I'm here," she panted.

Jade stood, tally counter poised. "Traffic bad, was it?" she said.

"You know I don't have a car!" Tori protested. "I had to run all the way here."

"Hmm. Okay. Have you brought an outfit?"

"Yes, Mistress. I didn't have time to change, I just had to-"

"That's fine. Okay relax, you don't have to undress. You just have to get changed."

"Yes, Mistress. Am I allowed to ask what we're doing?"

"We're going to the Club."

Tori didn't say anything, but the look on her face was enough.

"What?"

"It's nothing."

"Don't start that again. What is it?"

"It's just..." Tori said, "you said you wouldn't take me to the Club."

"I'm not taking you like _that._ There's no Club night on tonight."

"Oh. Then why are we going?" She noticed Jade's all-black ensemble for the first time. "And why do we have to dress like this? Are they running some sort of exercise class? Ninja aerobics, or something?"

"No."

"Oh. Then why-"

"Do you love me, Tori?"

"Well... of course I do, Mistress."

"And you'd do anything to please me?"

"Definitely, Mistress."

"Good," Jade said, satisfied. "Because tonight, Tori, we're going on an adventure."

"We are? What are we doing?"

"Tonight, we're breaking into the Diamond Club."

.

.

.

 _The woman stared at the letter in her hand. She felt a familiar pain in her chest, and reached for the pill bottle on the dresser._

 _This?_

 _After so long?_

 _She resolved to throw the letter away. No good could come of it._

 _But she didn't._

.

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.


	34. Chapter 34 - Breaking the Law

**Hi, we're back. Anyone still reading? If so, then lash your disbelief to the top of the mizzen-mast, and let's set sail for the Diamond Club once again.**

 **For reference, Jade is playing fast and loose with Shakespeare's 'Henry V', and if anyone out there has never seen 'Star Trek', then I'll eat my hat.**

 **All reviews welcome, as ever.**

.

.

.

 _Holly sat alone again, but not alone enough. The memories were still there, tumbling thick and fast, taunting her with sins left unforgiven. Her mother. Caroline. Tori._

 _Jade._

 _But beyond it all, that one memory, that one face. The girl._

 _Not Caroline. She'd give anything to see that face again, to see the smile that might have meant redemption. No, not Caroline. Not her._

 _The other girl._

 _._

 _The girl in the cellar._

 _._

 _._

 _._

"No, Mistress."

"We're going to need... What?"

"No, Mistress," Tori repeated. Jade stared at her.

"What do you mean, _'No'_?" she said.

"No, Mistress. You can't make me do this."

"Well, hold on there, Nat Turner. Your rules say you can't say _no_ to anything."

"Yes, Mistress," Tori said, carefully, "but your _'terms'_ say I can. And I'm pretty sure your terms override my rules."

"I don't remember saying-"

"You told me to speak up if I ever thought you were going to make me do something with real-world consequences," Tori said. "And nothing says 'real-world consequences' like getting arrested for breaking and entering. So on this occasion, Mistress," she stood to attention, "I must respectfully decline to obey."

"You must respectfully...? You read _way_ too much Jane Austen, Tori. Anyway, it's hardly breaking and entering. I mean, you're practically a member."

"And you've got an account at Federal Credit, why don't we go break in there?"

"You know, that sounds awfully like sarcasm, Vega, and that's a clickable offence."

"I'm sorry, Mistress," Tori said, firmly. "You can click me all you want, and I'll take it. But you can't make me do this."

There was a uneasy silence, as Jade glared at Tori, and Tori fixed her eyes on the wall, arms folded behind her back, the very picture of dignified resistance.

Reality finally filtered through to Jade, and her shoulders slumped in disappointment. "You're right," she said. "You're absolutely right. I'm sorry." She sat heavily on the bed, staring dejectedly at the rucksack in her hands. "I don't know what I was thinking. I can't ask you to do this."

Tori nodded, with a faint smile of satisfaction. "Thank you."

"Perhaps you'd better-"

"So, are we ready?"

"What?"

"To go," Tori said, brightly.

"Go where?"

"To the Club."

Jade looked at her in confusion. "I thought you just said you didn't want to go?"

"No," Tori said, patiently, "I said you couldn't _make_ me go. But I know you, and you're just going to go anyway. So I'm going with you."

"You really don't have to do that, Tori."

"I very much _do_ have to do it," Tori said. "We had a deal, remember? When all this started. I said if you wanted to prove you loved me, then you had to take me with you, wherever you go. Show me the adventure. Don't leave me behind. I gave you control, so that you could show me I could trust you."

"I know, but-"

"And the point is, I have to keep my side of the bargain, too."

"What side?"

"I have to be _willing_ to go," Tori said, as if it was obvious. "There's no point in you making that promise if I'm not ready to go with you when you need me. And you need me now."

"I don't know what to say."

Tori grinned. "You say, _'Get your chiz together, subby girl, and let's hit the road'_."

"... 'subby girl'?"

"Is that too informal?"

"No, it's just... I kind of assumed you were off the clock, what with all this defiance and common sense going on."

"That's not for me to decide, Mistress. It's at your discretion. I'm quite happy to stay on."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep."

"Well... okay, I guess." Jade got to her feet with a grin, and thrust the rucksack at Tori. "Get your chiz together, subby girl," she said. "And lets hit the road."

.

.

.

" _Breaking the law, breaking the law!_ " Jade yelled happily as they roared through town, hand pounding on the steering wheel as Judas Priest blared out from the stereo. Tori gritted her teeth.

"Could we turn this down a bit?" she said.

"What? You don't like it?"

"It's not so much that, Mistress."

"Then what?"

"Well, I'm not a master criminal..."

"Oh, come on Tori," Jade smiled. "You stole my heart."

"Aww, that's-"

"And my youth. And my innocence. And my anal virginity."

"Jade!"

"Just saying."

"Yes, well, what I mean is, I'm pretty sure one of the _fundamentals_ is not drawing attention to yourself. And driving through town screaming _'breaking the law'_ out of the window, whilst actually _breaking_ the law, probably isn't the best way to do that."

"What do you mean?"

"You're speeding," she said. "If you get pulled over, we're screwed."

Jade glanced at the speedo, and eased off the gas. They drove on for a minute in silence.

"I'm sorry," Tori said, eventually. "I shouldn't be telling you what to do."

"No, you were right," Jade said, with a shrug. "You were looking out for me. I like that. Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"You remember the skit?"

"Yes?"

"And you had an idea for it?"

"Yes?"

"And your idea totally sucked balls?"

"Ye... Hey!"

"Would you have expected me to tell you?"

"What?"

"I'm just curious to know whether you'd have punished me if I'd said something."

"Oh, Jade, please let's not-"

"It's just a question, that's all. I don't understand any of this stuff, so I'm asking you."

"Honestly?"

"Honestly. As in _'off the clock'_ honestly."

"No, I wouldn't."

"Really?" Jade sounded surprised.

"Really. If you'd turned round and said, _'Tori, if we do this, we won't get into the Club'_ , I'd have listened."

"Oh."

Tori sighed. "I know you think I'm a bit of a dim bulb, sometimes, Jade, but I'm not stupid. If you'd turned around and said anything at all, at _any_ time, I'd have listened. I'd have had to. You made a big deal of how I could only do stuff because you let me. Things only got out of hand because you were such a terrible sub."

Jade swerved all over the road. "What?" she said. "I was a _great_ sub. Jesus, Tori, I couldn't have _been_ any more submissive without being dead."

"Exactly," Tori said. "You were playing a part, and you played it too well. You were practically a zombie. Trina was right, I should have seen it. If we'd been doing it for real, you would have kicked back right at the beginning, and we'd have talked about stuff, and maybe I wouldn't have been such an idiot."

"Except we'd never in a million years have been doing it 'for real', Tori, and anyway, I didn't know I _could_ kick back."

"Yes, you did. Otherwise you wouldn't have told _me_ to. You know an awful lot about how to do this, no matter how many times you claim it's all a complete mystery to you."

"I really don't."

"Yes you do. You know how I know?"

"How?"

"Because I'm happy."

Jade didn't quite know what to say to that. After a moment, Tori leaned forward to where the tally counter rested on the dashboard.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm pretty sure," Tori said, "that saying you were _bad_ at something counts as being 'uppity'."

Jade reached forward and put her hand over Tori's, moving it carefully back to her lap. "No."

"No?"

Jade shrugged. "You were off the clock," she said. "I'd never…" She paused. "I'd never punish you in the shadow world for something that happens in the real world."

"The shadow world?"

"You know. When we're on."

"Oh. I'd never heard that. Is that something Sally said?"

 _I'm coming home soon, Jadey…_

"What?"

"I said, is that something you got from Sally?"

"Yeah. I guess."

"Oh. Well, thanks."

.

.

.

 _She hadn't even been aware, hadn't known anything, until she saw her mother at the entrance to the cellar that night, whip in hand, face white with rage. But later, after her mother had finally drunk herself to sleep, she'd stolen the key, and tiptoed quietly down the stairs._

.

.

.

"How are we going to get in there?"

"Hmm?"

"When we get to the Club, Mistress."

"Oh, right." Jade nudged her rucksack towards Tori. Tori opened it.

"A grappling hook?" she said. "Why the chiz have you got a grappling hook?"

"Well," Jade said, slightly uncomfortably. "You never know when you might need one. There's rope in there too."

"Right." Tori slid a suspicious glance towards her. "You seem awfully well prepared for someone who just thought of this today."

Jade said nothing.

"You were _always_ going to do this, weren't you?"

"Not necessarily. It was just if-"

"If things didn't work out with me."

"Well, not really-"

"I get it." Tori had a depressing vision of Jade sat alone in her bedroom, driven to desperation, wondering if it would be worth risking everything to be free of her.

"I just wanted to feel like I was doing something, instead of waiting around."

"I see." Tori put the hook back. "Well, I guess it's nice to know I narrowly edged it over going to jail."

.

.

.

 _The heavy wooden table. The bucket. The rope. A girl, not much older than herself._ _The smell of neglect and the sound of despair._

 _The sins of the mother._

.

.

.

"I'm not an expert," said Tori, "but..."

"Don't say it."

They both stared at the side of the building.

"Did you keep the receipt?"

"Shut up."

The Diamond Club may have been riven by the fissures and crevices of unspeakable depravity, but the building that housed it was as smooth as a baby's butt. "Maybe if you could throw it as far as the roof...?"

"If I were _that_ strong, Tori," Jade hissed. "I'd just punch a hole in the wall and shove you through it."

"Just trying to help, Mistress."

"Well, don't," Jade said. "And knock it off with the 'Mistress' thing. It's putting me off."

Tori huffed, and folded her arms in a sulky silence which worked on Jade like a dentist's drill. "What?"

"Nothing," Tori said, rubbing her toe in the dirt.

"If you say 'nothing' one more time..."

"It's just I _like_ the 'Mistress' thing," Tori sniffed. "If we don't do the 'Mistress' thing, how will we even know I'm on the clock?"

"Because you're doing what I say."

"But I'd do that anyway!"

"What?"

"We've only got a week, Jade," Tori said. "If I don't do the 'Mistress' thing, then this is just you bossing me about, and we've got the whole of the rest of our lives for that."

Jade looked at her for a moment, and then burst out laughing. "Well, that's quite a proposal, Tori."

Tori blushed crimson. "I didn't mean-"

"I get it. You're right. Crazy as it is, if you want to keep it up while we do this, then I owe you that. Even if you _are_ breaking every rule in the book."

"Me?"

"Both of us. I'm pretty sure this is _way_ out of line. I'm supposed to keep you safe, you're supposed to keep me sane, and both of us are screwing the pooch right now, given what we're about to do. But I guess it comes down to this, Tori," Jade said. "I'll probably never be a domme again, and you'll never be a sub. So how do you want to say you spent your week? Hmm? Do you want to say you spent it crawling around on your hands and knees, licking my boots, until neither of us could stand the taste in our mouth? Fooling around in the janitor's closet and ruining cutlery? Or do you want to say you really _did_ something? That you raced with the wind, stole fire from the gods, that you and me cracked the Diamond Club like the rotten egg it is, and spilled its secrets across the Red Room floor?"

"Jade..."

"What do you want to say when they ask you what you did tonight, Tori Vega? That you had no stomach for the fight? That you departed, passport made, crowns for convoy in your purse?"

" _Jade…_ "

"Or do you want to strip your sleeve and show your scars, while subs in L.A. now a-bed, count themselves accursed that they were not here?"

"God, stop it."

"What?"

"When you talk like that, it makes me go all weird inside."

"Then my work here is done. Okay, subby girl, straighten up. You're on point, on duty and on the clock. You're going to do what I say, when I say it, and if you're a good girl, unimaginable delights await you when we get home. If we make it home, that is."

"Yay! Wait, what?"

"And if we _do_ make it home," Jade went on, "you'll have the satisfaction of having served your 'mistress' in a way that I can pretty much guarantee no other sub has ever done before."

"What way?"

"You've actually done something useful," Jade said. "No matter how many dildoes Hayley can cram up her ass, she's still functionally a waste of space. Whereas you, Tori, _you_ are serving quite literally above and beyond the call of duty. I might even promote you to lieutenant."

"An uppity lieutenant?"

"My beautiful, uppity lieutenant."

"I can be that," Tori giggled, and pulled off a salute. "I can totally be that."

"Good girl. So what are we?"

"We're an army of two!"

"And what's our motto?"

"I'm guessing it's not 'Safe, Sane and Consensual'."

"Damn right. It's _'Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Know'_." Jade grinned. "Come on, let's take a look at the back entrance."

" _Mistress_."

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Vega."

.

.

.

 _Nails snapping, fingers bleeding, knots tight and swollen with blood and sweat. Ushering her out of the house with tears of desperation and recrimination, offering her food, money - anything - to keep quiet. To stop them from coming to take her mother away._

 _Not that her mother had been grateful. When the doctor asked, Holly had had to tell him she'd been knocked off her bike by a truck._

.

.

.

They reached the back of the building, and Jade felt a strange sense of unease as she looked around the empty parking lot, litter swirling gently in the evening breeze. It was almost brutally unremarkable, impersonal. Not all that long ago she'd have been bundled out here with her face in agony, a casualty of her own stupidity, if she hadn't insisted on fronting it out by the main entrance. She wondered how many others had passed this way, stumbling to the car, watching their own blood dripping on to the concrete among the cigarette ends and bird shit. Tori seemed less conscious of it, crossing the lot in a few strides to the metal door set into the wall. "This must be it."

Jade's heart sank. There was no way this would open. She'd hoped for something wooden, or a ledge somewhere, or...

"There's a window, too."

She looked over to where Tori was pointing. A small window at head height, with a wooden frame, slightly open. Old and rotten. Perfect. Or it would have been, if it wasn't for the fact that some inconsiderate bastard had put a thick metal grill over it. She went over anyway.

"It's screwed in pretty tight," Tori said. "But it doesn't fit flat to the wall."

Jade inspected the screws. Newish, not yet rusted or painted over. There might be a chance if she could just find something to unscrew them with.

"We could-"

"Hold on." She pulled out her scissors and started trying to fit them to the slots.

"Why don't we-"

"Mistress says 'hush', Tori, I'm concentrating."

Tori sighed. "Yes, Mistress." She watched for a while, as five minutes and the near loss of a fingertip gained Jade a quarter turn.

"Damn it," Jade said. "This is going to take all night."

"Oh, calamity," Tori said, flatly. "If only we'd thought to bring along some kind of heavy, metal, pointy implement that we could use to lever it off with."

"What?"

She hefted the rucksack with a clank. "Hmm?"

Jade gasped in glee as though being offered a chance to torment small children. "I could kiss you, Tori Vega," she said, taking the bag. "You're a genius."

"Aww."

"I don't care what anyone says."

"I withdraw my 'Aww'."

"Right, give me a hand with this." Jade wedged one arm of the grappling hook under the biggest gap behind the grill. "Are you ready?" They gripped the handle. "One, two, three..."

The grill shot across the parking lot with a deafening metallic clang. They both crouched instinctively, waiting for the wail of an alarm, or the rumble of boots, but there was just the eerie silence of the night, thrown into sharp relief by the dying echoes of metal on concrete.

"We're in."

Jade looked at Tori, dark eyes hidden in shadow, and hesitated. "Look," she said, "are you sure you want to do this?"

"Got to earn my stripes somehow, Mistress."

"I'm serious, Tori. Never mind all that stuff I said before. This is just you and me. I don't want to make you go in there, if you don't want to."

"I do."

"Are you sure?"

"Topi wanna go."

"What?"

"Nothing. You had to be there. Come on, Jade, I'm not a child. I know that none of _that_ has anything to do with this. I'm doing it because I want to. Because I love you. It doesn't matter what the rules are."

"Well, there is _one_ rule that matters. And this isn't a domme thing, this is a real rule. Non-negotiable, okay?"

"What is it?"

"If anything goes down when we get in there, you _run_. You run, you get out, you hide - you do whatever it takes, but you don't get caught. If anything happens to you, anything at all, I'll never forgive myself, and I feel guilty enough as it is. Please promise me you'll run."

Tori bit her lip and said nothing.

"Promise me, Tori. If you don't, we're going home."

"Okay, fine. I promise."

"Good girl. Right." She looked at the window. "You give me a leg up, then I'll pull you up after me, okay?"

"Yes, Mistress. Your wish is my command."

Jade sighed. "It's the lifestyle, Jim, but not as we know it."

"What?"

"Nothing. Okay, balaclava on."

"Right."

.

.

.

"Why's mine got ducks on it?"

"It's a long story."

.

.

.

 _But surely, after all this time, that debt had been paid. Surely the slate was clean. Silence had bought silence._

 _But in a way, it didn't matter. They were all in too deep._

 _._

 _You don't own the Club. The Club owns you._

 _._

 _._

 _._


	35. Chapter 35 - In the Belly of the Beast

**Hey, look everybody! Plot! Here we go into the heart of darkness...**

 **And Tori finally gets her wish, although I've probably caused a reality breach in the 'Meta 1' universe.**

 **Feel free to review, and many thanks to those who have.**

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _The woman stared at the envelope again. No matter how often she moved it, how many times she put it nearly - but not quite in - the trash, it always seemed to find its way back here, behind the clock on the mantle._

 _Why shouldn't she go? Why shouldn't she have the chance to show off a little?_

 _It might be good for Sally, a chance to broaden her horizons. And it might take her mind off things._

 _Lately she'd been too demanding, too close to pushing her further than she was willing to go. She didn't seem interested in the extraneous details any more, the niceties of the lifestyle, the rewards, the submission. Just the pain. Maybe a new direction might provide a distraction._

 _She'd let Sally decide. That was the best thing._

.

.

.

"Are you okay? Can you get through?"

" _Umph_. Yeah, it's just... this window wasn't designed for someone of my… build."

"What do you mean?"

"I've got my tits stuck."

"Ouch."

"It's okay. I'll just get 'em in one at a time. Give me a minute." There was a lot of grunting. "Right, we're through." Jade's legs disappeared suddenly from view.

The top half of her reappeared and stretched out an arm for Tori, who skittered her feet against the wall as Jade pulled her up and through the window. Her ass offered some resistance, but a determined tug from Jade saw them both end up in a heap on the inside.

They stood up and looked around at what was apparently an abandoned bathroom. They made their way to the door, until Tori pulled Jade back to stand beside her in front of a tarnished full-length mirror.

"Look at us!" Tori breathed. They stared at themselves, almost identical in skin-tight black, the only difference the tiny ducks picked out in yellow on Tori's balaclava. "You know what we look like?"

"Idiots?"

"Ninjas!"

Jade closed her eyes. Maybe bringing Tori hadn't been such a great idea after all.

"Come on, Jade," Tori said. "This is exciting!"

"This is _dangerous_."

"Yes! And who laughs in the face of danger? _Hmm_?"

"Don't tell me."

"It begins with 'N'."

Jade sighed. "Right. Fine. We can be ninjas."

"Yes!"

"Now grab the rucksack, Donatello, and let's go."

Once out of the bathroom, the unease that had come over her in the parking lot became a queasy feeling of dread. There was blood on the carpet. This was the _other_ way out, the way you left when you weren't going home, and her vision blurred as she imagined Sally being dragged down this corridor, shoeless, clothes torn and bloody. Unconscious? Dead? She found her breath coming short and she shivered.

"Are you okay?"

She swallowed. "I'm fine."

To the left they could see the entrance they'd seen from the parking lot. There was no way they'd have broken _that_ open. The corridor stretched out in the other direction, with a panelled door at the end and an opening halfway along. They reached it to find a stairwell, leading up into darkness.

"This goes up to the next floor."

"How do you know?"

"Because they're stairs, Tori. That's what they do. Flashlight."

Tori rooted around in the rucksack, pulling out two flashlights. She handed one to Jade.

"Right. The records room was on the second floor. Up we go."

The stairs creaked in protest under the repeated tread of Jade's boots and Tori's sneakers, as the two girls ascended into the unknown.

At the first landing, a plain wooden door led off to one side. "Is this it?"

"I don't know."

"Should we try it?"

"I guess we should." Jade played the light up and down the door. "Handle's missing."

"Let me see." Tori looked, and saw the hole where the handle should be.

"I guess we'll have to-"

"Give me your scissors."

"What?"

" _Scissors_. That is to say, please may I borrow your scissors, Mistress."

Jade slid them out of her boot and handed them to Tori, who bent down and pushed them into the hole. "If you break them..."

"Don't worry. Could you just shine the... What are you doing?"

Jade was playing the beam of the flashlight along the stairwell. "Looking for security cameras."

"There aren't any."

"What? How do you know?"

"It's a bondage club. A lot of rich and powerful people come here who'd rather keep that a secret. I remember my mom complaining about it once," Tori said, still busy with the scissors. "There was a bit of a power struggle between the members and the stewards over who got the final say."

"Right," said Jade. "And I'll bet it makes it easier to hush up any little 'incidents', too."

"Yeah."

"I guess we don't really need the masks, then."

"I don't know," Tori said. "I kind of like mine. Got it." The end of the scissors slipped into the latch, and Tori gave them a twist. There was a _click_ , and the door opened slightly. "Voila!"

"Wow." Jade was reluctantly impressed. "How did you know that?"

"Trina took the handle off my bedroom door once," Tori said, proudly. "I was in there for three hours before I figured that out."

"Right. So what did you do? Take her down in the dungeon for a little one-on-one?"

"What?"

"I thought you said your sister was a sub?"

"Yes, but not _my_ sub. We're not _that_ weird."

Jade said nothing, but started to whistle a little tune.

"And we are _not_ The Addams Family."

.

.

.

 _"I have something to ask you, Sally."_

 _"Yes, Mistress?"_

 _"We've been invited somewhere."_

.

.

.

The door opened onto a long balcony, overlooking the main hall. Jade peered over the rail, carefully. The hall itself was lit by a subdued glow from the security lighting, lending it an almost cathedral-like quality, silent and dignified, entirely at odds with the artless buffoonery of its current congregation. It was hard to picture herself down there, being poked and laughed at like a dancing dog, and for a moment she felt a strange affinity with the building itself, a sense of common shame.

She'd still burn it to the ground if she had a chance, though.

"Which way now?"

Jade reoriented herself from the layout of the hall. The door she'd gone through last time led off to a staircase which must come out ahead and to the right of them. They crawled the length of the balcony, feeling uncomfortably exposed to the floor below, and found the door at the other end unlocked.

There were more rooms and more corridors leading off into the building, but Jade had her bearings now, and a few more twists and turns found them pushing through a door onto the main landing.

"There," Jade said, pointing across the head of the staircase. "It's in there."

The records room was in darkness. The rustle of Jade unfolding her map echoed in the silence. "Okay," she said. "This is what we need to do. If I'm right, the combinations of these numbers can lead to sixteen different cabinets."

"And if you're wrong?"

"Two hundred and fifty six."

"There aren't that many cabinets in here!"

" _Ergo_ , I must be right."

"I'm not sure logic works like that."

"Well that's what we're going with, subby girl, and no back chat. So you start over there, and I'll start over here, and we'll work our way round. Got it?"

"Yes, Mistress."

They worked in silence for a while, the beams of their flashlights occasionally, flitting across the room as the pulled open drawers, working their way through the contents.

"Anything?"

"Nope. You?"

"Nope."

The quiet began to seem oppressive, the call and response not enough to lift it.

Eventually Jade had had enough. "You do _know_ that Trina's not a sub, don't you?"

Tori looked up startled by the change in direction. "What?

"Trina's not a sub," Jade said. "At least not in the way you guys mean. If she does it, it's strictly bedroom, and probably because... What's his name?"

"Danny?"

"...Danny wants it. And maybe to flip one to your mom."

"How do you know?"

"She's your _sister_ , Tori. You know her. Does she strike you as submissive?"

"Well, no, but you said that had nothing to do with it."

"It doesn't," Jade said. "But if you're a dominant personality, it takes a certain amount of mental agility to be a sub. You have to balance who you _are_ against what you _want,_ your natural instincts against your sexual instincts. The superego against the id. And part of the thrill is in the battle itself, in the contrast between the two, in the self-discipline it takes to walk that line. Keep too much control and you destroy the illusion, feel ridiculous. Lose too much, and there can be trouble."

"Trouble?"

"Subs can get carried away too," Jade said. "Get lost in the moment, ask for things they can't handle. Particularly ones that are used to getting what they want in real life. A smart dom or a pro might pull them up on it, but a rookie can get swept along, not realize until it's too late. And that can leave them both pretty fucked up."

"Did that happen to Sally?"

"No," Jade said. "Her domme was one of the smart ones, I guess."

"Oh."

"But she'd heard stories."

Tori was silent, thinking of her mom, young and inexperienced. _I went too far. I hurt someone_. Maybe she hadn't been entirely to blame.

"Anyway, what I'm saying is, Trina's not interested in any of that, so she's not going to get a kick out of it. If she does it at all, you can bet she's not revelling in the paradox of psychosexual dominance. She's just laying there like a trussed hog, thinking about shoes."

"Don't," Tori said, in disgust. "That's gross. Anyway, she's not that dumb. She knew _you_ were after something."

"Exactly," Jade said. "Because she couldn't imagine anyone putting up with all that crap for any other reason."

They moved clockwise in unison.

" _Was_ there another reason?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's just, you know, the way you talk about it, like you..."

"You mean, did I _like_ it?" Jade said. "Did I secretly enjoy it?"

Tori blushed in the darkness. Jade stopped what she was doing, and leaned heavily on the cabinet. "You know, what, Tori?" she said, with a sigh. "I'll be honest with you. Now it's over, I can look back on it and say, in some ways, I did."

"What? Really?"

"It was a _challenge_ , Tori. An adventure. I guess it's like those guys who sail single-handedly around the world. You don't necessarily enjoy it while you're doing it, when the sharks are circling and you're drowning in the swell, but on a fair day, with the wind in your hair and the sun on your face, you feel alive. And when you get home safe and sound you can look back on it and think, yeah, I did that. I took it on and I did it."

Tori pouted. "You do know that comparing your girlfriend to a shark-infested ocean isn't going to win you any favors once I'm off the clock."

"Well you know what they say. The sea is a harsh mistress."

"Very funny."

"But you have to respect her afterwards."

"Hmm."

"Anyway, if it's any consolation, when I did get home safely, the prize was totally worth it."

"What prize?"

"You, you dunce. The ultimate prize. The only prize worth having."

"Dang it, now I can't be mad at you."

"You can't be mad at me anyway, subby girl," Jade said with a grin. "I own your ass. At least for now. So get to work."

.

.

.

 _"Do you want to go?"_

 _"Is it up to me, Mistress?"_

 _"It's very much up to you, Sally. This would be the first time our 'arrangement' has gone beyond these four walls. I don't know who'll be there. I can't guarantee that you won't meet someone you know. You have to be prepared for that."_

.

.

.

"Jade?"

"Mmm hmm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"The girls at the Lake."

There was the sound of a drawer being slammed shut. "What about them?"

"Do you ever think about them?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, when they died, did it make you feel any better? Give you any kind of... closure?"

"Please don't get all psychological on me."

"Hey! You're the one who keeps bringing Freud up. I just want to know."

"Why?"

"Because I'm your _girlfriend,_ Jade. I know we're hardly the most normal couple in the world, but I love you. I need to know you're okay."

"I'm fine."

"That's not an answer."

"Are you seriously asking me whether I'm such a monster that it makes me feel better to know that five people died because of me?"

"No of course I'm not! I'm just worried about you. And what do you mean, 'because of you'? They didn't die because of you, Jade. It was an accident."

There was silence. "Jade?" She flicked the beam of the flashlight towards the other girl, to see her stood, motionless, gazing into space. "Jade? Are you all right?"

There was a long silence. Jade's voice, when it came back, was soft, distant. "Two days before it happened," she said, quietly, "Sally said she had to go away for a while."

"Sally? What's it got to do with Sally?"

"When I found out what had happened," Jade said, "I was devastated. Not because I gave a shit about them - you're right, in a way, I really am that kind of monster - but because I felt _cheated._ They'd never have a chance to be sorry, never have a chance to pay for what they'd done. But when Sally came back the day after and I told her, she just... smiled. She didn't try to comfort me, or talk about it, or buck me up. She just smiled. Like it was no surprise. Like it didn't matter."

Tori felt a little trickle of unease. "Jade..."

"Like she already knew."

Tori's stomach lurched. "Maybe she did," she said, cautiously. "Maybe it was on the news."

"It wasn't," Jade said. "I only knew because they called my dad. They thought I might have been on the boat."

"But you can't think that she-"

"I don't _know,_ Tori. I don't know what she did. And not long after that she went away for good. And even when I saw her again, what could I say? How do you ask your friend if they've killed someone? How do you ask them if they've killed someone for _you?"_

"Oh my God."

"You wonder why I'm doing this?" Jade said, turning to her. "Why I kept on going all this time? It's not just because I owe her, Tori. She wouldn't care about that. It's because I have to _know_. I have to know if she did it. Even if I'm just standing over an unmarked grave, I have to ask the question I didn't ask then. Do you understand?"

"But... how?" Tori said. "How would she cause an accident in the middle of a lake?"

"I don't know."

"She'd have to be a hell of a swimmer to get out there, overturn a boat..."

"Please, stop."

"I mean, could she even swim?"

"Of _course_ she could swim, Tori," Jade said, crossly. "What kind of idiot can't swim?"

"I'm only asking."

"Well don't. I don't want to think about it. She could do anything, Tori, if she put her mind to it," Jade said. "Anything." She paused. "She used to make me feel a little bit inadequate sometimes, like I was this dumb little kid. Like I'd never be as cool as she was."

There was an awkward silence, as Tori saw the first cracks in the portrait of Sally Easterbrook, cracks that she knew Jade had tried for a long time not to see. She felt suddenly and strangely protective. "We _will_ find her, Jade," she said. "Wherever she is. We'll find out."

"Maybe."

"And when we do," she said, firmly, "we can show her that you're every bit as cool as she is."

There was a little sound in the darkness, somewhere between a laugh and a sob. Satisfied, Tori opened the next drawer.

.

.

.

 _"Do you want to go, Mistress?"_

 _"I... don't know." Try as she might she couldn't stop herself from glancing at the photograph, mounted in the new frame that the girl had insisted, despite her protestations, on buying with her own money. It wasn't quite her own taste, but the girl seemed obsessed with the things._

 _The girl's gaze followed hers. "Will she be there?" she said, quietly._

 _The woman sighed, and itched at a small tattoo on her arm. "Yes, she will."_

 _"Do you still love her?"_

 _The question was so unexpected that the woman was speechless for a moment. She looked at the girl, searching for a trace of jealousy, but saw only concern. The pain in her chest started to rise._

 _"Let me know what you decide," she said quickly, and left the room._

.

.

.

"This is hopeless. We're never going to-"

"Shush! I think I'm onto something."

"What? What have you found?"

"I've found a whole stack of 'M's. Looks like the right date. Hold on."

"Is there a 'CM'?"

"I'm looking." Tori flicked through the index cards. "Charles?" she said.

"It was a woman."

"Damn it. Right." She continued through the drawer. "Okay, she said, finally, "I've got three. Catherine Masterson, Celia Maunders, and... this one's hard to read. Wait a minute."

.

.

.

 _"I'm sorry, Sally. That was rude of me."_

 _"You don't have to apologize to me, Mistress."_

 _"Yes, I do, Sally. Why shouldn't I?"_

 _"Doesn't it... diminish your authority, or something?"_

 _The woman laughed. "The day when apologizing lessens you in any capacity, Sally, is one I don't care to live long enough to see. There are times when apologizing is not enough, but there's never a time when it's not necessary."_

 _"I see," said the girl, with a smile. "In that case, I accept your apology, Mistress."_

 _"You're an angel, Sally. And you don't need to keep calling me 'Mistress', not when we're just talking."_

 _"Are you sure?"_

 _"I'm sure. Call me..."_

.

.

.

"Caroline Mulhearn."

.

.

.

 _"...Caroline."_

 _._

 _._

 _._

Jade felt the blood drain from her face. "It's her," she said.

"You sure?"

"I remember the name. _Caroline_. It's got to be her."

"Did you ever meet her?"

A memory, a tinkling laugh, a voice like silk… "I don't know," she said. "Maybe."

Tori hesitated. "There's something else you should know."

"What?" Jade crossed the room to join her. She shone her torch on the card.

Three lines, scored deep into the surface.

"It's crossed out," Tori whispered. "Just like Sally's."

.

.

.

" _Then we'll go."_

" _Are you sure?"_

" _It's not for me to stand in the way of true love, Mistress."_

 _The woman blushed like a teenager. "Sally!" she said. "It won't be like that."_

" _Well you never know, Mistress," the girl said, with a laugh. "You never know what's around the corner."_

.

.

.

"What does it mean?"

"I don't know. Maybe-"

"Wait, what's that?"

"What?"

" _That_!"

Then she heard it. The unmistakeable sound of footsteps on the stairs.

Not the tip-tap of heels, but the heavy creak of boots.

.

The beast had awoken.

.

.

.

 _The Girl in the Cellar woke, as though from a dream, to find that the world was in black and white. And she looked at herself, and she said…_

 _Never again._


	36. Chapter 36 - The Voice of an Angel

**Well, here we are, deep in the bowels of the Diamond Club. Are we still enjoying it, or are we all just hanging in there grimly, hoping the whole thing might make sense eventually? Either way, I appreciate you sticking with it.**

.

.

.

 _"I just want you to know that if anything did happen between you..."_

 _"It won't, Sally. It's been a long time."_

 _"But if it did," the girl said, "I wouldn't want you to think... I wouldn't want to interfere, you know? Get in the way."_

 _"What do you mean?"_

 _"I wouldn't want you to think you owed me anything. That you'd have to keep to the arrangement."_

 _"Sally..."_

 _"What I'm trying to say is that if you wanted her back as your sub I wouldn't stand in the way. I know that this is just-"_

 _"What makes you think she was my sub?"_

 _"I thought you said you were both... you know?"_

 _The woman smiled. "We were," she said. "But she wasn't my sub."_

 _The girl seemed a little shocked. "But surely you weren't..."_

 _"A sub? In a way."_

 _"I don't understand."_

 _"We used to switch," the woman said. "We'd take it in turns."_

 _"I... Can you do that?"_

 _"Of course you can do it, Sally. You can do anything you want to. There are no rules about who does what, no matter what some people would have you believe."_

 _"Some people?"_

 _"Her mother," the woman said. "She was a holy terror. She really believed that being a domme was some kind of calling, that you were 'naturally' dominant, that it was who you were. She was horrified when she found out."_

 _"I'm sorry."_

 _"Water under the bridge, now, Sally. She died, a few years ago. Maybe I should have got in contact then, but I could never quite bring myself to." She held up the invitation. "I was never expecting this."_

.

.

.

"It must be security," Tori whispered.

"What?" Jade hissed. "I thought you said there _was_ no security!"

"I said there were no _cameras_. I didn't say there was no security. I'm pretty sure my mom said one of the members owns a company, kind of specialized."

"Specialized?"

"You, know. Discreet."

"Well, way to go, Tori! You didn't think to mention this before?"

"You didn't ask!"

"I shouldn't _have_ to ask! What kind of discreet? _'A quiet word and send you on your way'_ discreet, or _'dump the body in the river, no questions asked'_ discreet?"

"I don't know!"

"Shit."

They crouched down, listening as the boots crossed the corridor outside. "There's only one of them, by the sound of it," Jade whispered.

"Do you think we can take him?"

"Do I..." Jade stared at her in disbelief. "We're not _real_ fucking ninjas, Tori! Of course we can't 'take him'."

"I just thought-"

"We have to get out of here." She played the beam of the flashlight around the walls in the hope of a previously unnoticed door, but there was nothing. The only way out led through the main door.

They crept towards it, and Tori opened it a crack, as quietly as she could. "I can't see him. Do you think we should make a run for it?"

"Wait." Jade peered out too. The landing was clear, and straight across the head of the stairs she could see the door they'd come through. "Okay."

They opened the door further, and Tori eased herself through it. "You ready?" Jade said.

"Ready."

" _Go_."

Tori set off at a sprint across the landing, her sneakers squeaking on the wooden floor. Jade made ready to follow her, when she remembered the map was still on the cabinet. _Crap_. That would really give the game away. She slipped back through the door and retrieved it, slipping it into her pants, and left the room again.

She could see Tori waiting anxiously behind the other door, holding it open, big brown eyes wide with worry at her sudden disappearance. She was about to cross, when her view of Tori was completely obscured by six feet of ugliness in a security uniform, emerging from a door between them. There was a split second of silence, and then, " _Hey, you!"_

Fuck.

She just had chance to mouth _'Go!_ ' to Tori, before she turned and bolted in the other direction, praying that the guard's attention had been focussed on her. The meaty pound of footsteps behind her told her it had, but that only raised a whole new set of problems.

She crashed through the nearest door into another corridor, counting the seconds until she heard the guard come through to gauge her advantage. Four seconds. Not much. Hang a left. Another door.

Five seconds. She might do this yet.

She had a moment to consider that the uniform had been filled out in odd, unexpected ways. Of course. That's what they meant by _specialized_. They'd never let a bunch of dicks look after a place like this, it'd be way too volatile.

The knowledge that her pursuer was a woman lessened her panic not one jot. In fact it made it worse. She might, _might_ have been able to talk her way round a guy, but she had no chance at all with the slab of muscle chasing her. It was a sad reflection on the state of universal sisterhood, she decided, as she tried to ignore the burning in her chest, that practically every woman she met seemed to want to injure her in some way. Even the girl she loved had an unhealthy fixation with beating her on the ass. Another door. Hang a right.

Seven seconds.

Maybe it was _her_. Maybe she just had that kind of face. A _'beat me on the ass'_ kind of face. _A 'beat me on the ass, drag me around by my ears, tie me to a tree and stick broken bottles in me'_ kind of face. It seemed a trifle unfair, genetically speaking. She was pretty sure her mom never had to put up with any of this. Another door.

Eight seconds.

All she wanted was a little respect. And yet the world seemed intent on making her ridiculous. Take this, for instance. Take the current example. You try to do _one_ little thing, _one_ nice thing for a friend, and before you know it you're running for your life through a fetish club being chased by a lesbian death squad.

Sally never had this problem. _Sally_ could do whatever she wanted. Sally could be a sub, and still come out with her dignity intact. Sally was always on top, even when she was on the bottom.

Damn Sally.

Ten seconds. She was winning. All she had to do was...

She clattered through the door at the end of the corridor, only to find herself slithering desperately to a halt on a shiny, tiled floor. She looked around. Shit.

 _Nine seconds._

How many washrooms does one club need? She turned, but she knew there was no way to get back to the other end before she was caught. As if to reinforce this message, the tread of boots began to grow louder.

 _Eight seconds._

There was no other way out. No useful air-conditioning vents, small windows, false ceilings. Nothing.

 _Seven seconds._

She went into a stall, and pushed the door half-closed, hopping up onto the seat so her legs couldn't be seen. She'd seen it in the movies...

 _Six seconds._

... and it never worked. Fuck.

 _Five seconds._

She hoped Tori had got out okay. She should never have brought her into this. She should never have _done_ this. Any of it. Life would have been a whole lot simpler if she'd just done the right thing that day, the day Tori came to her with all the bondage bullshit and ass-slappery. The noble thing. If she'd just calmly punched her in the face and dropped her in the dumpster like she _should_ have, all this nonsense could have been avoided.

 _Four seconds._

This was it. Even if she didn't get her head bashed in, the Club would definitely press charges, and maybe worse. She wasn't sure what the Diamond Club was capable of, because so far she'd been insignificant enough to avoid its full attention. But she'd recognized enough faces to know that its membership could and would destroy her and her career to protect itself. She slid the scissors from her boot and clutched them tightly in both hands, listening for the sound of the washroom door. If she had to go down, she was going to go down fighting.

 _Three seconds._

The boots were outside the door.

 _Two seconds._

The boots were inside the door.

 _One second._

And then she heard it, somewhere in the distance. A mournful, almost tremulous sound, echoing down the hallways, like the plaintive call of a wounded deer. A sound that she'd heard before.

The voice of an angel, running like the Devil.

 _"Here I am, once again, feeling lost but now and then..."_

Oh no. She wouldn't. No, no, _no_.

Tori, you _idiot_...

She heard the boots slow, twist with a creak, and start to accelerate away in the other direction. They were already out of the washroom and halfway down the corridor before she had the presence of mind to follow, crashing out of the stall and through the door. Jesus, Tori, how _could_ you? The _one_ time she needed her to be an inconsiderate brat, the one time she actually _needed_ the Tori that wouldn't think twice about letting her choke to death for the sake of a pair of shoes, she'd gone all self-sacrificial on her. She headed out of the washroom to see the door at the end closing. She sped up. The last thing she could afford to do was...

Lose her. Damn it.

She skidded to a halt on the other side of the door, and listened carefully. The strains of Tori's singing could still be heard, faintly, which meant that she hadn't been caught. Jade picked a door that seemed to lead in its direction, and set off.

.

.

.

Tori was lost. She hadn't really though much beyond this point, concerned only with attracting attention. Now she was having to _hold_ that attention while running through a building she didn't know at all, but which the guard would know like the back of his hand. Her hand. She tried not to think about the fact that a chase like this could only end one way, and kept on going. She needed to find Jade. She needed that very, very badly.

.

.

.

Jade was lost. She'd long since abandoned any kind of plan, following Tori's siren song instinctively, twisting and turning to its spell. She began to wonder if this was all some kind of fever dream, endlessly chasing something that couldn't be found.

 _The girl was never there._

 _It's always the same._

 _I'm running towards nothing._

 _Again and again and again and again…_

No. Tori was real. She was the only thing that was. She redoubled her efforts.

.

Tori knew exactly where she was, now. She was in a dead-end. That was very clear. The distant drumming of boots was getting closer. Her singing started to falter. _What it would come to, if only somebody could hear..._

.

Jade opened the next door in time to hear the singing fade. _You're running out of time._ She began to accelerate towards the last few notes.

.

Tori turned, to find her way blocked by six feet of black Kevlar, armed with two feet of heavy hardwood. They stood facing each other for a moment.

.

 _Faster, West._

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"It's not what you think," Tori managed, her voice a low croak.

.

 _Faster._

.

The guard closed the distance between them in a single stride, and Tori watched in horror as the nightstick raised. _What kind of discreet?_ She closed her eyes. _Jade..._

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.

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" _What kind of place is it?"_

" _I gather it's very... exclusive. And also rather formal, sadly. I'm not sure we'll fit in. But that was always her way."_

 _"It's her club?"_

 _"I suspect she has a hand in it. She was always very organized. She liked to be in control. She was always in charge, even when I held the whip." She smiled. "She was a little like you, in that respect. Or like you will be."_

 _"What do you mean, Mistress?"_

 _"I sometime wish I could have met you in real life, Sally," the woman said. "Outside of all this. I imagine you're quite someone to be reckoned with, even at your age. It would have been nice to see the real you."_

" _But-"_

 _"I'm not a fool, Sally. I've met a great many... practitioners in my time, subs and doms, and I've learnt a little along the way. And this isn't you. You came here for the experience, to find something out about yourself, but this isn't what you crave, this isn't the life you want to lead. You chafe at the bit, you're restless. And sooner or later you'll move on."_

 _"Caroline..."_

 _"I'm not saying this to be cruel, Sally, I'm happy to keep to our arrangement as long as you like, and I hope you'll stay with me for a while yet. But this isn't your future. One day you may come back to it, just for fun. Or one day you may decide to be a domme yourself, who knows?"_

 _She reached down, and gently stroked the girl's hair. "You'd be a good one, I think," she said, smiling. "I daresay you'd make some lucky girl very happy."_

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _Jade…_

 _._

 _The momentum of a moving body is equal to its mass multiplied by its velocity._ Jade West wasn't a big girl. But she was going at a hell of a speed.

She cannoned into the guard, shoulder first, striking her square in the small of the back. There was a horrible crunching noise as the woman hit the opposing wall face-first, but Jade didn't stop long enough to think about it.

"Come on!" She grabbed Tori by the wrist and dragged her out of the room, door banging behind them, and they raced down the corridor hand in hand.

"I told you to run!"

"I did run!"

" _Away_ , Tori! The key word was _away_!"

"But-"

"I am _so_ going to click your ass when we get home."

Tori sighed, no mean feat under the circumstances. "Yes, Mistress," she said. "Sorry Mistress."

.

.

.

 _The girl said nothing, and the woman decided that the conversation had stalled. Distraction might be the best way forward. "I think that's enough talking for now," she said, peremptorily. She got to her feet. "Stand."_

 _The girl stood automatically. "Mistress."_

 _"Come." She headed out of the room._

 _"Yes, Mistress."_

 _The girl followed without hesitation, the very model of submission, and only the picture in the frame bore witness to the fire in her eyes._

 _._

 _The Diamond Club. We're going to the Diamond Club._

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"We have to find a way out of here."

.

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	37. Chapter 37 - And the Luck of the Devil

**Hi, it's been a while, hasn't it? Sorry about that. I'm hoping to update more often in the future, but things have been a bit tricky recently. Anyway, on we go.**

 **Small note - I don't know if anyone's reading this who hasn't read the original story, but we occasionally make references to events that happened in that one that we didn't necessarily recap here, so you may find the odd thing… confusing.**

 **Feel free to review, I always appreciate your comments.**

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _Dear Diary_

 _Last night we broke into the Diamond Club…_

.

.

.

"How do we get back to the records room?"

"I don't know! I was just running away."

"Crap. We're not going to have much time. If she wakes up, we're screwed."

"Do you think she's all right?"

"I don't know, Tori! Do you want to go back and find out?"

"No!"

"Then let's go."

They retraced as much of Jade's route as she could remember, turning this way and that, but the labyrinthine layout of the upper floor seemed designed to thwart them.

"We've been here."

"Damn it! Are you sure?"

"That's where you punched the wall last time."

"Fuck."

"This way."

.

.

.

"Do you think she was the only guard?"

"How should I know? Maybe they come in six-packs."

"There's no need to be snappy."

"Well _I_ think there is."

"Sorry, Mistress."

"Okay, look, you're off the clock now. Seriously. Knock it off. We could be in trouble here."

"Are you sure?"

"Sure I'm sure. And don't look at me like that. It's just...if anything happens to me, I don't want to go to meet my maker knowing the last thing you called me was 'Mistress'."

"But I... That's kind of sweet, really."

"Yeah, I'm all heart. Now come on."

.

.

.

"If we find the balcony maybe we can rappel down to the hall."

"Not real ninjas, Tori."

.

.

.

"How big is this place?"

"I don't know, you've been here more than... ooh, stairs!"

"What? Where?"

"There!"

"Flashlight."

 _This_ staircase made the one they'd come up look like the Spanish Steps, and gave the impression that they hadn't so much found a way to the ground floor, as stumbled upon a disused service entrance to Hell. They slunk down it, feeling the groan of the rotten wood beneath their feet.

"Where do you think it comes out?" Tori whispered.

"We'll be lucky if it comes out anywhere," Jade muttered. "Mind that step, it's cracked."

Although in their imagination the staircase got narrower and narrower as it went down, it finally ended in a normal-sized door. Jade tried the handle, and found to her relief that it was unlocked.

"Look, Tori," she said. "I don't know what's on the other side of this. It could be the corridor, it could be the parking lot, it could be anything. So just... be prepared."

"Yes, Sensei."

"Tori!"

"Sorry. Have you got your scissors?"

"Why?"

"In case there's anyone out there."

"I'm touched by your faith in my ability to take down a platoon of bondage storm-troopers using only a pair of scissors, Tori, but it's not going to happen."

"Well at least you've got something! I'm not even armed."

"Armed? Jesus, Tori. This isn't Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. We're not going out there guns blazing. If we see anyone, we run back up these stairs. Get it?"

"Got it."

"Good." She took a deep breath and cautiously opened the door to find...

Curtains. There was a large pair of curtains in front of them.

"What the..."

"We're in the main hall!" Tori said, gleefully. "This is the stage."

The stage. Of course. Jade had never seen the stage used - their skit had been performed in the center of the hall - but even standing on it gave her a unpleasant sense of foreboding as she tried to imagine what kind of spectacle it might host. The gaudiness of the drapery suggested club singers and third-rate comedians, the heavy steel rings bolted to the floor suggested something else entirely.

Tori peered through the curtains. "It's empty."

"Thank God for that." Jade joined her.

"Now what?"

"We'll try the main door."

They crept across the floor of the hall. There was no one to be seen, but Jade thought she could detect a faint susurration from somewhere across the hall. It faded as they raced jubilantly across the lobby to the front door, until it was gone, replaced by the stillness of disappointment.

"It's locked."

They stared at the door. They'd passed through this door in misery, they'd passed through it in triumph. But they weren't passing through it tonight.

"Have I ever told you, Tori," Jade began, quietly, "how much I hate this place?"

"Well, I guess I can understand-"

"No, you can't, Tori. You can't understand at _all,"_ she said. "I hate this place. I hate this place with a passion you can only dream of. I hate this place more than I've ever hated anything in my life. In fact, I hate this place more than _anyone_ has ever hated _anything, e_ ver. I hate every brick of it. Every inch. Every piece of gin-soaked carpet. Every splinter of wood."

"Jade..."

"Every grubby, foul little corner of it. Every greasy leatherette seat. Every tacky 'erotic' picture. Every tasteless ornament, every crappy pot plant, every frippery and fuckery. Every 'special' room with its stupid fucking contraptions and secret doors, every filthy washroom. Every rivet, every stud. Every buckle and strap. Every molecule of rubber and plastic. It stinks, Tori. All of it. It stinks of sweat, and lubricant, and despair. But most of all," she said, kicking angrily at the woodwork, "I hate this door."

Tori stayed silent, head down, until something occurred to her. "What do you mean, 'secret doors'?" she said.

"What?" Jade was busy jabbing her scissors into the wall.

"You said, 'every special room with its secret doors'. What do you mean?"

"I..." Jade's voice tailed off, as she mentally shifted gears into reverse, replaying the last time they'd been there. "Tori, you're a genius!"

"I am?"

"Yes, you are!"

"Well, great, but-"

"The Red Room! There's a back way out from the Red Room!"

Tori's brain tried to process this. "How do you know that?"

"I don't know, I..." Jade floundered for a moment. "Your mom!" she said, suddenly. "Your mom said we could leave from there without going through the hall. It must connect with the corridor."

"But-"

"Come on!" She grabbed Tori's hand, and they made their way out of the lobby and across the hall. There was still no sign of the security guard, and the hall's emptiness seemed oppressive, threatening. They reached the door to the Red Room, and the sound that Jade had heard earlier grew louder. She couldn't quite make it out, but it reminded her of a badly-tuned radio, or a TV left on in another room.

The door was locked. "Did I ever tell you-" she started.

"Yes, you did. Now what?"

Jade thought for a moment. "The dressing room!" she said. "There's a connecting door."

They slipped down the side corridor and into the dressing room. Memories flared up, and Jade wondered if her missing tooth was still in here somewhere, caught in the pipes, destined to forever be a part of the building. The noise was much louder in here, coalescing into something more recognizable - voices, laughter, but underneath it all, a long continuous groan, punctuated only by a sharp crack.

She crept towards the connecting door and very, very carefully opened it.

The sudden increase in volume startled her. Of course. These rooms were sound-proofed, that's why they couldn't hear it from the hall. She put her eye to the slim gap.

"Sweet Jesus."

"What?" said Tori. "What is it?"

Jade let the door fall shut, leaning her back against the wall and sliding down to the floor. "There are people in there," she said, quietly. "Lots of people."

"Dang it!" said Tori. "My mom said sometimes the seniors get to use the place for private functions." She went to the door and prised it open slightly. "Maybe if we wait long enough they'll...Oh."

"Yeah," Jade snorted. " _'Oh'_."

"Oh, my God."

"Is that what you had planned for _me_ , Tori," she said, coldly. "Once you had me properly broken in? A little 'private function'?"

"What? No!"

"Maybe that could have been my _next_ anniversary treat. Invite the whole gang round, Cat, Kyra. Your mom. Everyone gets a turn."

"Jade!"

"Or maybe you could rent me out for private parties. That's how it works, isn't it? Swap 'em, sell 'em, trade 'em on when you're done? We're only cattle, after all."

"For God's sake, Jade, don't be ridiculous."

"That's what your _mom_ said."

"What? When?"

"Before we came here the first time! She made a whole show of it in her little fucking speech. Do you have any idea what it was like, Tori, to have to stand there and listen to that? To hear my prospective mother-in-law tell me that my new status in life was basically _livestock_?"

"It wasn't like that!"

"It was _exactly_ like that! And you just stood there with a rod up your ass and said nothing!"

"And you just stood there, laughing your ass off at us!" Tori said, hotly. "I've heard the tape, Jade. What was the phrase? 'The world's shortest, saddest chorus line'? I didn't say anything because I didn't think she was talking about us!"

"Then who _did_ you think she was talking about?"

"I don't know, I'd never been there before! For all I know some of them are... into that kind of thing!"

"And you're okay with that, are you?"

"It's not real, Jade! I know I'm not the sharpest tool in the box, but even I know you can't 'sell' someone. I mean, how? How would that even work? You might as well talk about 'selling' a love affair, or a friendship. They're not actual slaves, I'm pretty sure your 'loyalty' to your mistress is going to evaporate pretty damn quickly the second you find out they want to trade you in for a better model. What would you have done if I'd told you I was going to 'sell' you to Marla?"

"I'd have broken your legs."

"Exactly! I might have been deluded about some things, Jade, but I never for a minute thought you wouldn't have something to say if I pushed it too far."

"So why would your mom say it at _all_?"

"I don't know!" Tori said, exasperated. "Maybe it was all supposed to be part of the illusion, part of the game. I don't know why my mom does _anything_ , anymore. I don't know why she spends all her time running round after Marla when she hates the woman. I don't know why she thought you were into this in the first place. I don't know why she dragged _me_ into it. But please, Jade, my whole life's already been one long farce, you're the only sensible thing in it. Don't let's get into this again. You said yourself I could only do the things you let me do, and the same must go for those girls in there."

"But does it? The problem with your mom and these guys is that they're not proper 'dommes' at all, they're just bullies. God knows what Caroline must have made of it all."

The sudden swerve took Tori by surprise. "Caroline?"

"Sally's domme. The woman we just found on the card. Come on, Tori, keep up."

"I know that! But what makes you think she was any better?"

"Because Sal used to talk about her a lot. She always pretended she didn't give a crap about anyone, because that's how she was, but underneath you could tell there was a lot of _respect_ between them, that they cared about each other." Jade nodded towards the Red Room door. "It was a million miles away from what's happening in there," she said, bitterly.

"Don't start that again! Just because they do it differently-"

"It's not about doing it differently, Tori. It's about doing it _right."_

"And who are you to say what's right? I know it looks bad in there, Jade, and believe me, I wouldn't want it for either of us," Tori said, "but they must have given consent-"

"Consent?" Jade looked up. "Consent?" she said. "Did you see their _faces,_ Tori? Did you see their _eyes_? They didn't even know what _day_ it was! They were in no fit state to give consent to _anything_!"

"But-"

"No. This won't do at all. There's something wrong here, Tori. Can't you see that? Something very wrong. And we're going to stop it."

Tori's eyes widened in terror. "Whoa! We can't go in there! We'll get caught! We're supposed to be getting out of here."

"And so we will."

"So what... Why are you sniffing those coats?"

Jade was, indeed, sniffing the coats and bags hung in the dressing room. "One of these has got to be a smoker."

"You're having a _cigarette_?" Tori said, confused.

"Aha!" Jade withdrew her hand from a bag, with a silver lighter clutched in it. "Right." She stood on one of the benches, and pulled out the crumpled map from her pants.

"What are you doing?"

"Killing two birds with one stone." She held the lighter and map aloft. "We're getting out of here, _and_ we're going to screw up their little party."

"But how?"

"I am about to violate the principle of free speech, Tori," she announced dramatically, sparking the lighter into life and touching it to the map.

"What?"

She grinned. "I'm going to shout 'Fire!' in a crowded theater."

.

.

.

The sprinkler burst into life before the map was burnt through, Jade jumping from the bench just too late to avoid its spray, and for a moment it seemed that she'd achieved nothing except a soaking. And then they heard it, sweeping through the building from room to room - the fire alarm.

" _Yes_!"

"Is that... good?"

"I hope so. Right, get your clothes off."

Tori re-ran this instruction through her brain to see if made any more sense the second time. "What?"

"Clothes!"

"I..." Her instinct to obey kicked in and she began pulling off her sweater and mask. "Why are we doing this, exactly?"

"Because we're dressed like cat burglars, Tori!"

"Ninjas."

"Whatever! But we're going to stick out like a couple of butt-plugs in a nun's handbag dressed like this. Come on. Just down to your underwear."

There was the sound of panicked movement from the room next door, voices raised, the clank of someone struggling with restraints.

"What if they come out this way?"

Jade thought. "Put your balaclava back on."

"What? Why?"

"Just do it."

They both put the masks back on. Jade pulled Tori close to her, face to face. "Hands behind your back."

Tori did as she was told, and Jade rested her head on the other girl's shoulder, pulling Tori's head down to rest on hers. She put her own hands behind her back.

"What are we doing?"

"Looking like naughty subs."

The door opened almost immediately. "What the hell are you two doing in here?" a shrill voice said irritably, as though the sight of two semi-naked subs in gimp masks leaned up against each other was a minor inconvenience. "Can't you hear the alarm?"

"Sorry, Miss," they mumbled together, like a couple of naughty schoolgirls. The woman tutted. "Where's your mistress?"

"Told us to wait here, miss."

"Well you'll have to get out. Follow the others."

"Yes, Miss."

"Yes, Miss."

The woman gave them one last look, and disappeared. "That's our cue," Jade said. They pulled off the balaclavas and slipped through the doors, heads down, hair over their faces, mingling with the bodies pressing through the door at the back of the room, which they recognized as the one they'd seen at the end of the corridor where they'd come in. The back exit was wide open now, people piling through it into the parking lot. Had anyone thought to look, they might have noticed that two of the subs were wearing sneakers and combat boots, and trailing a large rucksack behind them, but no one did. They reached the fresh air, part of a milling crowd of confused and half-dressed patrons, the dommes impatient and angry, the subs blinking and staring as though unsure of where they were. "Easy does it," Jade murmured. "We just slip away quietly." They sidled along the wall towards the corner of the building. "Just keep walking, just keep walking..."

Behind them they heard the same petulant voice they'd heard in the dressing room. "Hey, what happened to those two-"

"Now run!"

They rounded the corner at a sprint, heading along the flank of the Club back towards the car, crashing into the side of it laughing and panting. "We did it!" Tori said, breathlessly. "We broke into the Diamond Club!"

" _And_ broke out again," Jade said. "I really thought we were in trouble there, for a while." She paused. "We still _could_ be, if they work out who it was."

"Pfft!" Tori scoffed. "What are they going to do? Nobody messes with us. We're ninjas!"

"For the last time, Tori..." Jade finally gave up. "Okay, we're ninjas. We're _totally_ ninjas."

"Yay!"

"Now get your naked ninja ass into the car and get dressed before someone sees us."

They climbed into the car, struggling to dress in the confined space, giggling and slapping each other until finally they were in some semblance of decency. Jade sat behind the wheel and reached for the key. "Tori?"

"Mmm hmm?"

"Why did you come back for me?"

Tori turned to her, incredulous. "Did you seriously think that I _wouldn't_?"

"I told you not to!"

"I know you did. But I had to make a choice. This is what you were getting at when we talked about the skit, remember? Should you do the _right_ thing, or what you were told? Well, now you know what my answer would have been. I love you, Jade, and I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you no matter how many 'clicks' it gets me." She paused, and bit her lip. _"Are_ you going to click me?"

Jade hesitated. "Under the circumstances," she said, carefully, "I think... not."

"Good." Tori settled back, satisfied. "Anyway," she said, "I couldn't have left you in there even if I'd wanted to."

"Why not?"

"We're an army of _two_ , Jade," she said, as if it was obvious. "We don't leave our commanding officer behind enemy lines." She held a lock of hair across her lip as a moustache, and adopted a clipped, military tone. "It's _terribly_ bad for morale."

Jade snorted with laughter, and started the car. "You are one crazy loon, Tori," she said, "but I love you. Are you ready?"

"I'm ready."

"Then let's go home." She revved the engine. "Punch it, Vega."

Tori grinned and hit the stereo just as Jade hit the gas, and they screeched out of the parking lot, music blaring through the open windows into the night.

 _"Breaking the law, breaking the law!"_

And this time Tori joined in, at the top of her voice.


	38. Chapter 38 - Coffee and Cyanide

**Hi, here we are again. We've escaped from the Diamond Club, leaving a trail of angry dommes and somnolent subs in our wake, so let's go home, and find out a little bit more about Sally on the way.**

 **Thank you for your reviews, and for staying with it as long as you have.**

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Tori sat quietly in the car. The song had ended, and by unspoken agreement they'd turned the music down to a low murmur. Eventually she spoke.

"Prospective _mother_ -in-law?" she said.

"What?"

"In there. You called my mom your 'prospective mother-in-law'."

Jade glanced at her. "Don't panic, Vega," she said with a laugh. "That wasn't a proposal."

"Oh."

"Man, if we ever went on one of those game shows where you had to say where you got engaged, I'm pretty sure we'd win hands-down with _that_ little story."

"I guess."

"Maybe it would have been worth it, just for that." It dawned on Jade that perhaps that wasn't what Tori wanted to hear. "I mean, not _just_ for that, obviously, I..."

"It's fine," Tori said, in the tone of voice that said it wasn't.

Jade sighed. "Look, I love you, okay?" she said. "And I'll happily spend the rest of my life with you. But if and when I _do_ propose, it's not going to be in the middle of some god-awful bondage club. It's going to be done... right."

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"'If and when'?"

"Okay, 'if'."

"I prefer 'when'."

.

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.

"So what now?"

Jade shrugged. "I guess we go home. Tomorrow I'll dig around, see if I can turn up anything on Caroline." Jade was surprised by how easily the name came to her now.

"I'll help."

"Thanks." Jade bit her lip. "I'm sorry about some of the stuff I said in there. I didn't mean to-"

"No," Tori cut her off. "Don't be. You were right, I should have said something, stuck up for you."

"Yeah, but you were up against your mom. That's a tough call to make."

"It shouldn't have been."

"And technically, I was lying to you."

"But that's the point, isn't it? I'd have done the same if it had been real."

"And if it _had_ been real, _I'd_ have said something."

"Would you?"

"Of _course_ I would," Jade said. "You don't really think I'd have let you get away with that kind of thing if I'd actually _wanted_ to do this, do you?"

"But-"

"I'm a devious little gank, Tori. You said so yourself. I let you be that way because I _needed_ you to be that way. I needed you to be a 'true believer' because that was the only way we'd get into the Club. If we'd been doing it for real, there would have been rules. And if you didn't play by them, I'd have walked." She paused. "Or stuffed you down the garbage disposal. One or the other."

"You know, I like to think that when you keep talking about doing me _actual_ bodily harm, you're joking."

"Yeah," she leaned over and squeezed Tori's leg kindly. "You keep on thinking that."

"Hmm. Anyway, we _had_ rules."

"Not _your_ rules, you dunce. _My_ rules. Rules about _us_ , our relationship, what you were allowed to do. Your kind of 'rules' are just flim-flam, they're only there to give you an excuse to get your freak on. They don't mean anything. They're pointless. They _have_ to be."

"Why?"

"Because there's nothing kinky about following rules that _do_ mean something, is there? No one gets a kick out of driving carefully, or filling out their tax returns on time. The fun for the dom is in setting and enforcing arbitrary rules, and the kick for the sub is in either following those rules, knowing they're ridiculous, or breaking them to earn their 'punishment'. It's the perfect exercise in futility, if you ask me, but then I can't see the point of 'Monopoly' either. Probably explains why I was so bad at it."

"Monopoly?"

"Being a sub."

"You _weren't_ bad at it," Tori said. "I thought you were a great sub. Apart from all the lying, and everything."

"You said I was terrible!"

"I meant you were bad at it because you let me get carried away. As far as 'pleasing' me goes, you were textbook."

"Gee, thanks," said Jade. "I'll get it on my résumé. Anyway, it's easy to keep up the big act. It's the details, really. The little things."

"Example?"

"All right. Well, for instance, I'm pretty sure a _real_ sub," she said, "wouldn't have done what _I_ did to your lipstick after the whole Robbie thing."

"After the… wait, what? What did you do?"

Jade said nothing.

"Jade?"

A slow grin started to spread across the other girl's face.

The penny dropped. "You didn't!"

"Yeah, I kinda did."

"Oh, God. Please tell me you kept the lid on."

Jade's smirk said no.

" _Jade!_ "

"I was mad at you, okay? You were _way_ out of line. Besides," Jade said, "you were the one who kept wanting to ram stuff up there."

"But-" A horrible thought struck Tori. "Which lipstick?"

"Um…"

"Which _one_?"

"…All of them."

" _Ack!_ " Tori spluttered and wiped her mouth on her sleeve. She glared at Jade. "I kissed my _mom_ with that lipstick," she said accusingly.

The laughter that Jade had been struggling to contain finally broke out. "Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'Kiss my ass', doesn't it?"

"You… you…"

"I'm sorry," Jade said, sounding anything but. "I won't do it again. I promise."

"You know, I don't think I _want_ to marry you now."

"I haven't asked you yet."

"Well if and _when_ you do," Tori said. "The answer's no." She folded her arms, defiantly. "I think I liked you better as a sub, even a fake one. You were a lot easier to handle."

"Yeah." Jade accelerated towards a red light at the intersection, causing Tori to shriek in terror until it turned green at the last moment.

"But I'm a lot more fun _now_ , right?"

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.

.

"You said in the Club that 'Caroline' wouldn't have liked it," Tori said.

"Yeah."

"So why would she go at _all_?"

"I don't know. Maybe she didn't know what it was like. Maybe she was invited. Maybe Sally made her go."

" _Made_ her go?" Tori said. "You know, the more I hear about Sally, the less she sounds like any kind of 'submissive'."

"She wasn't. Not in the way _you_ mean."

"Then why..?"

"Sally liked _pain_ , Tori," Jade said. "That's what she craved. That's what drove her. The submission was just something she offered in return, as a gift. As payment, if you like."

"To Caroline?"

"Yeah. Sally got what she wanted - a chance to push her limits, prove herself, test her mettle against an experienced domme - and in return Caroline got what _she_ wanted. A pretty slave girl to boss around three times a week."

"They didn't live together?"

"No. It was purely an arrangement. They weren't in a relationship, there was no sex involved." Jade chuckled. "There didn't need to be. Sally used to go home and frig herself stupid for _hours_ afterwards."

"Jade! There's such a thing as oversharing, you know."

"Sorry."

"And what about Caroline?"

"I'm pretty sure she didn't do _that_."

"No, I mean, didn't she want... you-know-what?"

"I don't think so. I think Caroline just wanted to do it for its own sake, to practice her 'craft'. And maybe to make Sally happy. She was pretty devoted to her. I think in some ways she was a bit lonely. Sally was the closest thing she had to a daughter."

Tori snorted. "That's the weirdest mother-daughter relationship _I've_ ever heard of."

" _Is_ it?" Jade turned to her with a look of amusement. "Is it _really_?"

Tori reddened. "Maybe not," she muttered.

"And maybe she had something to prove, the way Sally had."

"What?"

"I don't know. But I got the feeling from what Sally said that something bad had happened to Caroline, something she was trying to get over. Maybe she was trying to be as good a domme as she could, just to _show_ that she could."

"You never mentioned any of this before."

"I didn't really remember. It was the name that brought it back. Sally used to talk about this stuff a lot, but I never really listened because I was too busy being horrified at the thought of the girl that I looked up to, more than _anyone_ in the world, letting someone else spank her ass. But _some_ of it must have sunk in. I remember Sally saying sometimes she used to break the rules deliberately, just to get some action."

"And did she?"

"No." Jade smiled to herself. "Caroline always knew."

"Was she mad?"

"A little bit. She didn't like to be played, or lied to, so Sally would lose her session. But the next time... The next time she'd change it up, do something different, make an effort."

"Why?"

"Because she knew it was a sign that Sally was bored, that she wasn't getting what she wanted."

"Couldn't Sally just tell her?"

"No."

"Why not? You just said that's what _you'd_ do."

"Well I'm not _Sally_ , am I?" Jade said, more harshly than she'd intended. " _She_ wouldn't say anything, because she'd see it as a sign of weakness. She'd never _ask_ for something. She'd rather get what she wanted by her own devices, even if it meant manipulating people she cared about."

"She sounds like a bit of a bitch." Tori said without thinking. "Sorry," she said, realizing. "I didn't mean-"

Jade laughed. "Don't be," she said. "She was. She was a cast-iron, stone cold bitch sometimes. Especially to me."

"Then why would you be friends at all?"

"Because she was there for me," she said, "when no one else was. And I owe her for that."

Tori stayed silent for a moment, a vision of an upturned boat drifting through her mind.

"Anyway," Jade went on, "what I'm saying is, maybe they got to the point where Caroline couldn't keep up with her. From what Sally said, she wasn't a well woman. Or maybe Sally insisted. So they went to the Club to give her a chance to experience something else, not knowing what kind of place it was."

"And then what?"

"I don't know," Jade said. "That's what we've got to find out."

"Right," said Tori. "So we start by finding Caroline."

"We what?"

"We start by finding Caroline," Tori repeated. "If anyone knows what happened to Sally, it's got to be her, surely?"

"I guess, but-"

"But what?"

"I..." It had honestly never occurred to Jade that Caroline might be a real, actual living person that _could_ be found. She'd just assumed she belonged to the past, that she'd ceased to exist the moment Sally disappeared. The thought of meeting her seemed disconcerting. "Nothing."

"Okay," Tori said, firmly. "Tomorrow I'll get my dad to look her up. He's got all kinds of police data doohickeys that he's always on about, I'll ask him to... Oh." She noticed they were turning into the end of her street.

"What? What's up?"

"It's just... it's getting kind of late, and everything..."

"And?"

"...And I kind of told my mom I'd be staying at your place," Tori said. "Sorry. I didn't realize we'd be going on a crime spree, I thought we'd be, well... you know. Doing stuff."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Is it a problem? I mean I can wake them up if it is-"

"No, no problem."

"...it's just that they deadlock the door after midnight, and-"

"It's _fine,_ Tori."

"...Really?"

"Why wouldn't I want you to stay over?"

"I don't know, it's just... you haven't suggested it much," Tori said. "And you drove me _here,_ of course," she added, "which kind of-"

"Well I do."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Positive?"

"Yes."

"You're not just saying that?"

"Well, I'm starting to rethink it _now,_ Tori, because frankly you're-"

"Too late! You've said it."

"Ugh. Right. Let's go."

.

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.

Truthfully, all Jade _really_ wanted to do was climb into her bed with her laptop and research the living daylights out of Caroline Mulhearn, but it was clear that Tori was expecting something.

No. Scratch that. Tori had gone through hell tonight just to help her, risked life and limb, hung in there when she should have walked away. She'd served above and beyond the call of duty. Tori _deserved_ something. Something special. Something... formal. Jade was well aware that her efforts at being a domme had been ad hoc at best, illegal at worst, and while they'd both had a blast, it probably wasn't what Tori had been expecting. So tonight would be different. Tonight, Tori was going to get what she wanted.

Tonight Jade was going to get her _domme_ on.

She wished she'd had time to prepare. As it was, she was going to have to make do, improvise. But that, of course, was the challenge.

Of course they'd done this _before_ , the night Tori had come to the house to make the video. But that had just been for fun - there had been a lot of giggling on both sides, and Jade had made no pretence of being in charge, letting Tori direct the proceedings even though she'd been on the receiving end. But tonight had to be different.

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There was no one in. Her dad was away at a sales conference, and her mom was staying with her long-suffering Aunt Janice, no doubt holding a conference of her own about mid-life disappointment and the ingratitude of teenage daughters. They went up to Jade's room.

"Go take a shower."

"Am I on the clock again?" said Tori. "Or are you just being bossy?"

"Clock."

"Right."

Jade waited.

"I mean, yes, Mistress. Right away. " She hesitated. "Are you joining me?"

"No."

"Oh." Tori stripped off her black sweater and leggings and headed for Jade's shower. Jade waited until she heard the door lock, and raced down to the family bathroom. Tori's showers were usually epic affairs, lasting anything up to an hour, but there was no telling how long she'd take tonight. Jade showered herself quickly, and came back into the bedroom. _Now_...

She rooted through her wardrobe. _This, this... not that. This? Yes, definitely this._ It was a little cruel to flaunt it, but then cruelty was part of the game.

She bundled the clothes into a bag and put them by the shower door. What else? She got down on her hands and knees and looked under the bed. _Bingo_. She knew some stuff had fallen under there when Tori had emptied her bag. She held the picture in her head for a moment, the incongruent eroticism of a happy, smiling, teenage girl proudly producing an arsenal of sado-masochistic weaponry from her bag and inviting her to use it. She fished out the couple of remaining items - not much to go on, but what had Holly said? Something about how people would pay good money just to sit in the same room as her? Well, time to put that to the test. She wondered what her _own_ mom would have thought if she'd found these. Not that her mom was allowed in here, she willingly paid the price of doing her own cleaning for _that_ privilege. She put one of her finds in the bedside drawer and considered the other, before pulling open a drawer and pulling out a pair of long, velvet gloves. She got to work.

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Tori hummed in the shower. She'd have preferred Jade to be here, but there was no denying the luxury of having it to yourself. She shouldn't take too long, though, Jade had seemed a little snappy. She wondered if she was mad at her for wanting to stay the night.

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Dress now? No. _Make an entrance_.

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Tori emerged from the shower eventually, wrapped in one towel, drying her hair with another. "I'm..." she tailed off in confusion as she saw Jade in a towel, clearly fresh from a _different_ shower, a shower that she hadn't been invited to, or required in. She checked her natural inclination to mope, knowing how Jade felt about that, but her confusion didn't lift as Jade beckoned her over to stand by the side of the bed.

"Stand," Jade said. "Here."

Tori stood, as realization dawned.

"Strip."

Her towel hit the floor almost before the final plosive.

"Kneel."

Her knees followed.

"Wait."

Jade turned without another word and headed into the bathroom.

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She began to apply her make-up quickly, before realizing she didn't need to hurry. It was warm in her room, Tori would be fine, and a little anticipation would do her good. She relaxed, and reached for her mascara.

Finally she stepped back from the mirror, and stared at herself critically. Hair swept back tight into a neat bun, eyes alluring but not terrifying, and lips... She ran her tongue lightly over them. Not the jet black of the subversive submissive, but the full red of the confident domme - cool, detached, elegant, untouchable. She reached for her clothes, pulling them on, relishing the feel against her skin, and stood back, admiring herself.

"Jade West," she murmured, "you have _definitely_ missed your calling."

Satisfied, she took a deep breath and opened the door.

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Tori kneeled patiently in the middle of the floor, hands palm-down on her thighs, back straight, head up. She was concentrating on holding this pose so hard that for a moment she didn't hear the bathroom door open, didn't realize Jade was in the room, until she heard the voice, rich and deadly, iced coffee and cyanide, dripping down her spine.

"Hello, baby girl."

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 **Well, shall we just draw a veil over proceedings there, and move on to the next day? Or does anyone actually want to see Jade getting her domme on?**


	39. Chapter 39 - Hand in Glove

**Well, vox populi, vox Dei, so here we go. You don't really** _ **need**_ **to read this, so feel free to do something else** **while you wait for the next chapter to turn up, which I promise will have some plot in it.**

 **Anyway, let me know what you think - I don't usually write this kind of thing, so I'm throwing myself on your mercy...**

 **Many thanks for your reviews so far.**

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Holly Vega tossed and turned in her bed, restless and alone. Jade wasn't going to do it. She would have said something by now, made her decision whether Tori liked it or not. That was how she was.

And if she didn't, what then? She needed her there, not just against Marla, but for her _own_ sake. It was so hard to protect someone when you couldn't tell them _why_.

She rolled over again. Tori was at Jade's house, and it comforted her a little to know that they were together, at least, and happy. For now.

.

 _Tori and Jade._

 _Jade and Tori._

 _Two halves of the perfect domme._

 _Effortless domination, and exquisite technique._

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Tori turned toward the sound, the word _'wow'_ dying on her lips, a hike of an eyebrow enough to tell her that talking was very much _not_ allowed. She contented herself with watching as Jade swayed towards her, poised on heels that she hardly ever wore, black against ivory skin, legs bare until they reached the red leather skirt and the corset that Tori had left behind, and which she noticed Jade filled to much better effect - _more_ than filled, the curve of the flesh above promising treats beyond reckoning for anyone lucky enough to loose the bindings. She felt herself tingling as Jade reached her, standing close enough that she could smell the freshness of the shower, hear the creak of the leather, feel the other girl's gaze on her. She tore her attention from Jade's body to her face, and found, instead of the affected superiority she'd expected, an expression of infinite despair.

"Tori, Tori, Tori," Jade said, shaking her head sadly. "What _am_ I going to do with you?"

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Jade tilted her head to one side in consideration, then lifted one patent-leather toe to gently push Tori's hand from where it rested on her thigh. Tori instinctively moved both hands behind her back, into the submissive's crossfold, fingertips to elbows, and Jade nodded in approval. She walked around the other girl, until she stood behind her.

"You've been such a good girl, tonight," she said. She reached out and began to stroke Tori's hair, running her hands through it, as Tori leaned into the touch, eyes closed, like a cat. "Such a _very_ good girl," she went on. "And yet," her hand fastened suddenly in Tori's hair, pulling her head back with a little gasp, "you disobeyed me."

She hoped to God that Tori didn't _really_ believe this, that she didn't think her bravery had incurred Jade's wrath. The last thing she wanted was for Tori to see this as one of her own 'punishment' sessions. But she could sense Tori's heartrate quicken through her fingers. "So what to do with you?" she said. "What. To. _Do_."

"Are you... going to click me?" Tori said, and the grip tightened slightly to reinforce the fact that the question had been rhetorical.

"Oh, no, Tori," Jade said, quietly. "I'm not going to click you. There'll be no _'clicking'_ tonight." She leaned down close to her ear. "Tonight," she said, "is going to be very much... _hands on_."

She felt Tori shudder. She straightened, and released her grasp with a little push, sending the other girl's head forward, her hair tumbling over her face. Tori stayed, head bowed, as Jade slowly walked back around her, and sat down on the bed.

"Let me look at you."

Tori flicked her hair back off her face and looked up, and her expression was so open, so vulnerable, that it was all Jade could do not to pick her up, hug her, take her to bed and abandon the whole thing. Instead she crossed her legs, bringing her foot up close to Tori's face. There was a moment's hesitation, before Tori leaned forward, glancing at her for approval, and brought her lips to the foot.

Tori had done this before, but it had been spontaneous, a game - Jade's first experiment with control, laughing and teasing, Tori thrilled by the fact she was doing it at all. But this time she went to it with an intensity and dedication that disconcerted Jade, butterfly kisses and slow languorous licks, a lover's touch, worshipping the flesh in a way that made her shiver to think what that touch would do to the rest of her body. She slowly lowered her foot, Tori's head moving with it, until it was flat on the floor, Tori doubled over, still devoted to her work.

"Enough." Jade said finally. Tori looked up. "On your feet."

Tori stood gracelessly upright, trying to keep her hands behind her back. Jade stood too, stretching out a finger to lift Tori's chin, and studied her critically.

"Reward or punishment, Tori," she murmured. "Pleasure or pain. Ecstasy or agony." She leaned close. "Which do you _deserve_ , do you think?"

It seemed this was a genuine question, and Tori struggled for the answer that she thought Jade wanted to hear. "Both?" she managed, her throat dry.

" _Both_?" Jade said, in mock surprise. She shook her head. "My, my. You _are_ a greedy little girl, aren't you? You're one greedy little sub. Well, we'll see about that." She walked over to the bedside table, and took out the first of the items she'd found under the bed.

She was glad, in a way, that it had been the lash. The whip was too severe, a single point of impact, difficult to control without real pain, and she didn't want that, not tonight. The lash was softer, more suffuse, it could caress as well as punish. Tori didn't like pain, Jade knew, not for its own sake - she'd take it as part of what she _really_ wanted. But even as she drew it out, she hesitated. The lash was a plaything, one of Dimmesdale's specials, its braids soft and unknotted, but there was always the possibility that it might remind Tori of its grown-up ancestor, that its existence was too close to that of Cybele. That would ruin everything. She'd have to know how Tori felt before she used it.

She turned slowly, letting Tori take it in, watching her face carefully, but she saw nothing there save the look of wary anticipation that Tori had been wearing since she emerged from the bathroom. So how to tell?

The voice. Tori was a hopeless liar. Her voice would give it away. But she couldn't just ask her, that would spoil the effect. So what to do?

 _Formality_. That was the key. You could get away with anything if you made it part of the ritual.

She held the lash out, horizontal, resting in the palms of her hands, watching as Tori's eyes followed it.

"Your mistress offers you correction," she said, solemnly. "Do you accept?"

To her relief, the slight hesitation bore no fear, only the time it took to draw breath. "I accept."

"Then it begins."

She walked slowly towards Tori, hips swaying, the braids of the lash trailing on the floor. She stopped in front of her. "Hands on your head. Feet apart."

Tori did as she was told too promptly for Jade's liking, so she let the tension rise, standing to one side, her gaze boring into the other girl until she saw Tori's eyes flicker nervously towards her, goosebumps forming on her arms and... elsewhere. _Better_. A little nervousness was what she wanted.

She moved behind her and raised the lash, letting the braids play across her shoulders, getting her used to the unfamiliar touch, then down, down, caressing her back until the braids hung free. Then she started to swing it, just letting the tips contact the backs of Tori's thighs. She waited until Tori relaxed, then drew it back and flicked it hard against her ass.

Tori flinched from the shock rather than the pain, and Jade grinned. Perfect. She went back to swinging it, before bringing it down again. This time Tori was less shocked, just a muffled squeak, and so Jade began in earnest.

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Tori was on fire. Not pain, just sensation, her entire body alight, bathed in the heat of an unknown sun. She stood, rigidly in position, feeling the stroke of the lash over her, not enough to hurt, just enough to bring her blood boiling to the surface, counteracting her body's instinct to dull the nerve endings. Jade was slowly moving around her, clockwise, working the lash to bring it down exactly where she didn't expect it, playing endless, never repeating patterns across her skin, the only constant the knowledge that _that_ stroke would come, as Jade passed in front of her - the one between the legs, the gentlest, most tormenting one of all, as Jade flicked the lash and drew it upwards against her, relishing Tori's frustrated gasp before moving on. She was good at this. _God_ , she was good at this.

But worst of all was the voice.

 _Who are you, Tori Vega? What are you?_

Jade's voice had always done strange things to Tori. The long, lascivious drawl, with the threat of violence and promise of delight simmering just below the surface had sent her racing to her room many a night after school, aching for privacy. And now Jade had turned it to full effect, a low constant murmur that seemed to come from all around her.

 _Who are you, Tori? What are you?_

Each question punctuated by the fall of the lash.

 _Who are you? What are you?_

Tori closed her eyes, as it went on, a hot needle of inquiry right into her brain.

.

.

.

 _Who are you? What are you?_ She struggled to stand as her flesh sang it's song of submission. She felt as though she were being _dissected_ , taken apart, bit by bit, molecule by molecule, until there was nothing left but the voice in her head and the fall of the lash.

… _who are you?_

 _... what are you?_

 _...mistress or slave..._

 _...saint or slut..._

 _...little lost girl in your mommy's shoes..._

She wondered, in a brief moment of clarity, if this was how Jade had broken Trixie - the soft whispering in the ear, the never-ending stream of words, cajoling and controlling, inviting you to fall into the place where _she_ wanted you to be.

 _...used to dream about you Tori, such dreams as you can only imagine..._

 _...are you above me or below me..._

 _...inside me or out..._

… _who are you?_

She wanted it to stop. She _didn't_ want it to stop. She wanted to live forever. She wanted to _die_.

 _...am I breaking a butterfly on a wheel, Tori? Or feeding the animal that lies inside?_

Free me. _Cage_ me.

 _...who are you? What are you? Where will you stand when the hammer falls?_

She was burning.

 _...who are you? What are you? Where will you stand when the hammer falls?_

She was frozen.

The voice began to rise, and with it the intensity of the lash, faster and faster, louder and louder, hypnotic and disorientating. _Who are you? What are you?_ _Where will you stand when the hammer falls?_ She arched her back, knowing that she couldn't take much more, that in a few seconds she really _would_ fall apart, that she'd cry out and the spell would be broken. _Who are you? What are you? Where will you stand when the hammer falls?_

Until suddenly it was over, and Jade was stood right in front of her, terrifyingly close. "Who are you, Tori?" she whispered, her eyes looking deep into Tori's own. "What are you?"

And then it came to her. Her senses aflame, her body aching, she knew the answer more clearly than she'd ever known anything before.

"I'm _yours_ ," she breathed.

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Jade remained where she was, holding Tori's gaze, savoring the moment. She leaned forward slightly, until Tori craned her neck for the kiss, then drew back. "Good," she said, curtly, and turned on her heel, suddenly brisk and business-like. She walked to the dresser drawer and pulled out a handful of silk scarves, holding them at arm's length with her back still to Tori.

"Your mistress offers you _restraint_ ," she snapped. "Do you accept?"

"I accept."

"Get on the bed."

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Tori lay spread-eagled on the bed, the four scarves stretched to their limit. She twisted her head to look at her bonds, noticing that at least one of them was _hers_ , and decided that tomorrow she'd wear it to school, a silent reminder of the moment - a visible sign of an intimate sin. Jade stood admiring her handiwork.

"Beautiful," she murmured, and Tori felt a thrill of excitement at being so blatantly displayed like this, at the fact that she couldn't _hide_ that excitement. She felt Jade lay a cool hand on her ankle and slowly let it trail across her body as she walked the length of the bed, taking a pillow and pushing it under her head.

"I wouldn't want you to miss anything," Jade said, as she toyed with a lock of Tori's hair for a moment, before she turned back to the drawer.

"Your mistress offers you _reward_ ," she said. "Do you accept?"

"I accept!"

"I'll bet you do." Jade said. "I'll _bet_ you do." She crossed to the drawers and took out the long, velvet gloves. "But there's a price." She pulled them on, slowly. "Pleasure and pain, Tori," she said. "Pain and pleasure. Two sides of the same coin. You can't have one without the other. They fit together," she turned, and wiggled her fingers, "like hand in glove."

Tori looked on in confusion, as Jade loosened her leather skirt, and let it fall, kicking it off onto the bed. "One hand brings pleasure, Tori, one hand brings pain," she said. "Which one do you want?"

Tori hesitated, and was lost. "Too late!" Jade said, gleefully, and jumped up onto the bed, settling across her, straddling her hips. " _I_ get to decide." She help up her left hand. "I think... _this_ one."

She placed the fingertips of the left glove on Tori's stomach, and slowly began to run her hand up her body. Tori watched until Jade's palm flattened down, and suddenly there were a thousand tiny points of fire across her skin. " _Aah!_ "

As quickly as it came, the pain faded, as Jade ran her other hand across the same flesh, the soft brush of the velvet soothing it away. She sat back, her weight on the other girl's hips, shuffling to make herself comfortable, and shook her head, sadly. "Tori, Tori, _Tori,"_ she said again. "I'm _very_ disappointed in you. You remember the rules. What do we know about a good sub?" She raised her eyebrow in invitation to answer. "A good sub is a..?"

The feeling of Jade wriggling on her groin made it hard to concentrate, but something about the sly smile told her it was a trap, so she clamped her lips together and said nothing.

"No?"

Tori gave a very slight shake of the head, and Jade laughed. "That's _right_ ," she said. "A good sub is a _quiet_ sub. Now, I understand that this might... sting a little, so I'm going to help you out."

She reached down, and hooked up Tori's discarded panties, holding them out in front of her. She saw Tori's look of realization, and smiled. "Open wide."

Tori gave a little groan that might have been surrender or resistance, but Jade felt the hips beneath her twitch, and knew she was right. She gently pushed the material into Tori's open mouth, carefully poking it in with a finger. "There," she said. "That's better. All nice and quiet." She tugged at a corner still hanging out. "Nice," she said. "Did you wear them for me?"

Tori nodded, face hot with embarrassment, but Jade seemed genuinely pleased. "They're pretty," she said. "They suit you. Now, where were we?"

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Jade worked her hands across Tori's body, the pain of one hand lasting only a fraction of a second before the other hand smoothed it away. First one, then the other, leaving a trail of sensation as fleeting as the afterburn of a firefly. It was only now that Tori realized what Jade had done, that there was a tiny pinwheel poking through a cut in the glove, tracing its miniature steps across every inch of flesh - softer here, harder here, knowing where to tease and where to bite. She began to feel a certain trepidation as the hands started to move lower, towards the place where she'd feel its sting more than ever. She braced herself. She wouldn't, would she? Not there. Oh please, God, not there...

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Jade stopped, suddenly.

"I think it's too bright in here," she said. "You know what we need?" Tori didn't answer, for obvious reasons, but Jade didn't really expect her to. "We need a little... ambience."

She crawled off Tori, leaving her to groan in both frustration and relief. "I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere."

She left the room, closing the door behind her, and then raced down the stairs as quickly and as quietly as she could. It wouldn't do to leave Tori alone for long, but she didn't want to sound rushed, that wouldn't be… dignified. She caught sight of herself in the mirror, half-naked and bulging over the top of her corset. Maybe _dignified_ wasn't quite the word. She gathered what she needed from the kitchen, kicked the refrigerator door shut with a clank, and headed back up the stairs.

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Tori lay quietly, willing her heart to slow down, and for a moment worried that Jade might not come back, that this was all a trick to leave her bound and panting on the bed for hours. Maybe Jade was already calling a taxi, and heading downtown. The small part of her brain that was still capable of rationality said _, it's one o'clock in the morning, and she's only been gone thirty seconds. Don't you trust her_? She wrestled with the question for a minute, and realized the answer was _yes_. She laid there, gagged with her own underwear, tied with her own scarf, and felt her world changing.

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"I'm back," Jade announced. "Did you miss me? _Yeah_ , you did." She went to the dresser and placed down two glasses and a candle. Tori could hear the clink of ice against glass. Jade lit the candle, and turned down the lights. "That's better, isn't it?" she said. "More... _romantic_. Drink?" She proffered one glass to Tori, as though she was in any position to take it. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said. "I forgot you were a little tied up." She walked to the bed, pulled the panties from Tori's mouth, and sat down next to her, cradling her head, lifting it slightly as she put the glass to her lips. She saw the look of surprise as the girl tried to identify the taste.

"Rum," she said. "I thought it was appropriate." Tori's eyebrows knotted in confusion. "What? You've never heard the expression, 'rum, sodomy and the lash'?" She waited for this to sink in, and saw a trace of panic cross the other girl's face. Another judgment call. "But I think two out of three's enough for tonight, don't you?" she said, as though it were entirely at her whim, and saw the relief in Tori's eyes. "Besides, we have other fish to fry."

She went back to the dresser and drained the small amount of rum, rattling the remaining ice with satisfaction. She turned, with a smile.

And then she picked up the candle.

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Hot wax and cold ice. Sharp nails and soft lips. Tori reeled from the contrasting sensations, her mind overloaded with pleasure. She forced her head back into the pillow with a moan, not being able to bring herself to watch what Jade was doing between her legs, not wanting to witness the tiny smile of concentration on her face, knowing that if she saw either of these things, it would all be over in an instant. A beautiful, _incredible_ instant, but that wasn't the way it was supposed to go. Her job was _not_ to give in. That was very much _her_ part of the bargain. She knew Jade wouldn't 'punish' her if she did, because that wasn't the way she did things, but she'd be... disappointed. And that, somehow, was worse. She forced herself to think of other things. Old nuns and dead kittens, lost socks and broken promises. All the times Jade had been cruel to her and really _meant_ it. But that just brought her mind back to Jade, and that didn't help at _all_. Jade between her legs, Jade touching her, Jade slowly running her tongue across her... Oh God. She could feel her body tensing. _No no no no..._

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Jade could feel it too. She blew out the candle quickly and pushed it to one side, pulling out the one toy that she actually owned. She was glad that Tori's eyes were shut as she strapped it on, she didn't want to spoil the surprise.

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Tori felt Jade stop what she was doing, and the sudden weight on the bed above her. Her eyes flickered open to see her tormentor's face inches away, eyes dark with intent. "You've been a good girl, Tori," she whispered, huskily. "A _very_ good girl. And now, your mistress offers you... release. Do you accept?"

"I accept!"

"Then tell me what you want, Tori."

"I..."

"Tell me!"

"I want you to… fuck me," she whispered, the words feeling strange in her mouth.

"I can't hear you!"

" _Fuck_ me!"

"Fuck me _what_?"

"Fuck me, _Mistress_!"

"Louder!"

" _Fuck me, Mistress!_ "

"Louder!"

" _FUCK ME MIS...OHHHHHHH_!"

And Jade did, as hard and fast as she could, not caring whether Tori tried to hold back, not even giving her the chance, driving her further and further into the darkness, until her eyes rolled back, her toes curled in ecstasy, and oblivion finally came.

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They lay in bed together, off the clock, the candles extinguished, the rum drunk. There had been shrieks and giggles as Jade had 'helped' remove the wax, and now there was just a pleasant hush as Tori curled up into Jade's side, her head resting on the other girl's chest. She felt soft fingers brushing through her hair, and a kiss placed lightly on the top of her head.

"Was that okay?" Jade said, after a while.

Tori gave a little snort of laughter, and wriggled closer. "Do you really have to ask?"

There was a pause. "Yeah," Jade said, quietly. "I kind of do."

Tori looked up, to see that Jade was serious, and felt a sudden pang of regret for the questions _she'd_ never asked. _Was that okay? Did you enjoy it?_

 _Are you happy?_

"Yes," she said, resting her head back down, and running a finger across the other girl's stomach. "It was amazing. Thank you."

She could almost feel Jade's satisfied smile, and she smiled to herself in response. Of course Jade would want to know if she was _good_ at something, if she'd risen to the challenge. That was who she _was_. A thought occurred to her.

"Did _you_ like it?" she said.

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure."

"I mean did you... you know?"

"Um... I'm good, thanks."

Tori sat up. "You didn't, did you?" She ran her hands down Jade's body. "You've still got your pants on!" she said, accusingly.

"Well, it wasn't really about-"

"Right, that's _it_." She hooked her fingers into the offending garment.

"Whoa! What are you doing?"

"I'm back on the clock."

"I thought that was up to me?"

"Okay, well, your slave humbly _requests_ that she goes back on the clock, and _then,"_ she gave a sharp tug, "she humbly requests that you get your damned pants off, so she can get busy."

"It's three in the morning, Tori!"

"Then we'll be finished in time for breakfast. Now," she said, with a wanton grin, "how do you want me?"

And Jade's world changed too.

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 _Tori and Jade._

 _Jade and Tori._

 _Two halves of the perfect sub._

 _One likes pain, the other likes…_

 _._

 _._

 _._


	40. Chapter 40 - Back to Reality

**Hi there. Many thanks to those of you who reviewed the last chapter, I really appreciate it. Anyway, on we go, and there _will_ be plot in the next two chapters, honestly…**

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 _... control._

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Holy cow, Sal. I don't even know where to start. She's in the shower right now, and... I _daren't_ go in there, in case she starts all over again. I don't think I can even make it out of bed, not after last night. I think I've had some kind of seizure. I mean, I put on a bit of a show for her, if you know what I mean, and it was fun, but the afterparty... You think you know someone, Sal, and I thought I had a pretty good handle on her before all this started, but I'm beginning to wonder just how many sides there are to sweet little Tori Vega. I mean, 'domme' Tori is kind of uptight and irritable, 'submissive' Tori is... well, just Tori, really. She's right in a way, this sub and domme thing we're doing isn't that much different from our real relationship, except she calls me 'Mistress' the whole time, and she gets to say no to stuff. But last night... last night she was someone else. I feel like I've woken something that I don't know how to handle. The things she made me do to her, the things she wanted me to _make_ her do... I mean some of them weren't even practical, I'd need a hoist and four strong men to man the bellows, but everything else… She likes me to play with her, like a doll, twisting her this way and that - not to break her, just to see how far she'll bend. It's like she's found a need to test herself, to see how far and how deep she can go. And I have to keep going down with her. Sometimes it seems like the more control she _gives_ me, the less I actually _have_ \- if I'm not careful I'll end up a slave to my own sub.

I wonder what kind of relationship we'll have when all this is over, what kind of relationship _she_ wants. I suspect I know, but when it comes to it, where _will_ she stand, when the hammer falls?

And it _will_ fall, Sal. You know that. I just hope that I'm still around afterwards.

Got to go, it sounds like she's finishing up. _God_ , that girl likes to shower. We already had one before we went to bed, and then we had to have another one after that, because... Well, let's just say the first one didn't go quite as expected. Quite as _I_ expected, anyway. And she was _smiling_ , for Christ's sake, this wicked little grin on her face the whole time. I think I was more embarrassed than she was.

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"About time. I thought you'd never... Hey!"

Tori walked out of the bathroom wearing just a grin and started to burrow straight up under the sheets at the foot of the bed.

"Whoa! Stop that!" Jade squealed, as Tori's intention became clear. "For Christ's sake, Tori!" Jade grabbed at a magazine on the night-stand and thwacked at the sub-shaped lump under the sheets. "Down, girl! Down! Jesus, you're insatiable."

Tori pushed back the covers and looked up with a pout. "I thought you liked that," she said.

"I do, but..." Jade looked slightly embarrassed. "I need a bit of a rest. _Little_ Jade's kind of worn out."

Tori stared for a moment. " _'Little Jade'_?" she said, trying to suppress a smirk.

"What's wrong with that?"

"Um, nothing."

"If you laugh, I'm going to click you."

"I'm not laughing! I just think it's cute that you call her-"

"I don't usually _call_ her anything," Jade snapped. "But then I'm not usually being assaulted by a nymphomaniac sub."

"Sorry, Mistress," Tori said. She smiled and ran a finger between Jade's legs, making her shudder, and giggled. "I guess I'm just a slave to 'little Jade'."

"Right. That's it." Jade took hold of Tori by the ear and dragged her up the bed until they were face to face. "You're not a slave to _little_ Jade," she said, sternly, "you're a slave to _big_ Jade, and big Jade commands you to get out of bed and get dressed, otherwise 'little Tori' is going to feel my wrath."

" _Oooh_ , really?"

"Off!"

"Yes, Mistress." Tori sighed, and rolled reluctantly off the bed.

"That's better. Do you need to go home for anything before school?"

"I should go get some different clothes, I guess."

"I don't know. 'Sexy ninja' kind of suits you."

"Yeah, but sweaty ninja's not so cool."

"You want to borrow something of mine?"

"Um…"

"Okay, I get it."

"I could always go like this." Tori, still naked, hoisted her bag over her shoulder, and struck a pose. "What do you think?"

Jade felt slightly dizzy at the thought of leading Tori through school dressed only in a rucksack and sneakers. "Would you do it?"

"If you told me to."

Jade stared at her for a moment, trying to detect a hint of untruth. "You _would_ , wouldn't you?"

"Yep."

She shook her head. "Tori Vega," she said. "You have _really_ come out of your shell." Tori grinned. "But we're not going to do that. We'd both get thrown out of school. And anyway, I don't want anyone else getting their hands on you. You're mine."

"Yes I am."

"Then get dressed, and let's go."

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Where _is_ that girl? How long does it take to get changed?

You know, I think all these sides to her make some kind of sense. It's not about the pain, or the humiliation. It's not about degradation or hot sex. She just likes to be _controlled_ , to be at the whim of something other than herself. Because the thing is, Sal, Tori's pretty scrappy. She's a fighter. She's always happiest at school when she's in the middle of a crisis, blowing on the winds of fate, caught up in some calamity and struggling to get out of it, trying to keep everybody happy. That's who she is. And when she became a domme, all of that was taken away from her, because the biggest obstacle she always had to face was _me_ , and without that, she was lost. She wept like Alexander when he had no more worlds to conquer, because everything was so _easy_ for her, everything was suddenly handed to her on a plate, and the taste of it sickened her because she hadn't earned it. She _needs_ to strive. She needs the defeats so the little victories mean something. That's why people love her, that's why all our lives seem to revolve around her - she's the plucky little underdog that everyone can root for. Even me.

What would they say if they knew, Sal?

Yeah, I know. The irony's not lost on me. If they could see us six months ago, they'd have been cheering her on. If they could see us now, they'd say I was a bitch. Oh, what it is, Sal, to be the eternal antagonist. I can't say I blame them. I guess they'd all like to see me taken down a peg or two.

But _she_ wouldn't. I think she was secretly pleased when she found out that she hadn't won, because it meant that the game was back on. That her victory was only temporary, and she could still feel the pressure. Only now she knows for certain what she didn't before - that when she's at my mercy, that mercy is _real_ , that I really _do_ care about her. That when she tries to please me, I love her for it.

Do you know she once put on a play for me? Got the funding, the venue, everything. Not because I asked her to do it, but because I _challenged_ her to do it. I _demanded_ she do it. And she got a real kick out of pulling it off, out of pleasing me, and the only price she charged was a hug.

Do you know what an _honor_ that is, Sal? To be worthy of that? To have someone battle against adversity for the sake of a smile? I sometimes wonder if this week is all about recreating that moment. Only, you know, with more sex.

And it _was_ a great moment, Sal. I think that's when I really _saw_ her for the first time. I think that's when I fell in love.

Where the heck _is_ that girl?

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 _Dear Diary_

 _I'm writing this quickly. She's downstairs and I'm supposed to be getting changed._

 _I'm a naughty girl. I'm a very naughty girl. I am the naughtiest Vega you ever did see. And yes, I know that's saying something. Last night was... I don't even know where to start. First I went over, and she told me we were breaking into the Diamond Club. Yep. Breaking right in there. I thought maybe it was a test to see if I'd listened, so I put my foot down and said, no, she couldn't make me do that. But she looked all sad then, so maybe it wasn't a test. Anyway, after that, I said I would, because, you know, I love her and everything, so we got our ninja outfits on and off we went. Mine had ducks on it._

 _I've just remembered what the ducks meant. Dang it._

 _Well, we got in, and… You know what, I'll fill you in later. But I can tell you it was pretty cool - I totally saved our asses, and we found out some stuff about a woman called Caroline, so Jade was really stoked. And afterwards we came home, well, back to her house, and she... I don't really know how to put it. I thought we were just going to bed, but then she came out of bathroom and it was the most beautiful sight I've ever seen. Full on. Wearing my corset, too. Man, I wish I could fill it like that. And then she put me on my knees, and..._

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Coffee. I'll make her some coffee, Sal. That's the least she deserves. I had to do it often enough when I was the house slave, it'll be quite a novelty doing it of my own free will. I still don't know what she's doing. I didn't know she even _had_ that many clothes.

No, wait. I _do_ know what she's doing. I bet she's doing it right now, the little minx.

What? No, not _that_ , Sal. Jesus, you've got a dirty mind. I mean the _other_ thing. And no, I'm not going to click her. It's _her_ business.

I'm determined not to read it.

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… _round and round in my head. I hardly even felt the lash. That's what she's good at. That's her thing. My mom's got a dungeon full of stuff that wouldn't come close to doing what she can do with her voice. I thought my legs were going to give way. I sometimes wonder what would happen if she really put her mind to it._

 _This works. This works so much it hurts. I think partly it's because she's not afraid of me. I was afraid of her, that's why I came down on her so hard, kept ramming it down her throat the whole time, because I was terrified that if I let her think she had a choice, sooner or later I'd lose control. But she's not afraid of me. She's not afraid to give me space, to let me fly and just be there to catch me if I fall. She's not afraid she'll lose control because she doesn't really want it. And that… makes me a little sad, I guess. She's only doing it for me. I mean, I like to think she's having fun with it, and I really made the effort last night to give as good as I got, but I bet if I went downstairs right now and told her I didn't want to do the rest of it, she'd be relieved._

 _What a pair we make, Mr Diary. The willing sub and the reluctant domme. Maybe that's the way it's supposed to go. I wonder what kind of relationship we'll have when all this is over._

 _Got to get through Friday first, though, that'll be the real test. Now it's closer it seems more real - I wonder if she'll be hard on me? Crap, I got carried away. I'd better go down or it'll be one more to the tally._

 _Oops, nearly forgot my you-know-what. Later, Mr Diary._

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Jade was sat impatiently at the kitchen table, two cups of coffee in front of her. "Here," she said. "It's going cold."

"Thanks." Tori took a sip that almost scalded her. She'd always been amazed by Jade's ability to drink liquid that was practically boiling. "Sorry I took so long."

"It's fine."

"Are you going to click-"

They were interrupted by the appearance of Holly, flustered and irritable.

"What's up, mom?"

Holly paused, as though deliberating whether to say anything. "Someone broke into the Club last night," she said, finally.

The two girls froze. "Did they... take anything?" Jade said.

Holly seemed slightly uncomfortable at being addressed by Jade, so she directed her answer at Tori. "No," she said. "I don't think so."

"Oh," Tori said. "Well that's okay then, isn't it?"

"No it's not okay!" Holly snapped, oblivious now to Jade. "Marla's spitting blood. I told them we should have had a proper security system, but they were all so concerned about their precious privacy. Well they can kiss goodbye to that now."

"Was anyone hurt?"

"One of the security guards. Why?"

"Nothing. I'm just concerned, that's all."

"Well she's got mild concussion, but she'll be okay." Holly grimaced. "Seems a little delirious, apparently. Keeps talking about ducks. Anyway, whoever it was managed to get away."

"Right," Tori said. "Probably got out when the fire-"

Jade's boot collided sharply with her ankle, and she looked up to see the look of horrified warning on her face. "I mean..."

Holly stopped what she was doing, still with her back to them. "Shouldn't you be getting your school things together?" she said, quietly.

"Er... yeah," Tori mumbled. "I'll just go and..." She shot Jade a pleading look and made for the stairs. Jade watched her leave, unable to protest, waiting for what would come next.

Holly stayed motionless for what seemed like an eternity, and Jade was just on the verge of breaking the silence to get it over with when the other woman suddenly burst into activity, clearing pots and collecting coffee cups. "You should go, too," she said, briskly. "You don't want to be late for school."

Jade gawped at her for a moment, but it seemed a genuine opportunity to escape, so she quickly slid from her chair and went upstairs.

Tori was in a state of panic. "I'm sorry!" she burst out. "I wasn't thinking!"

"It's okay."

"What did she say?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" Tori blinked. "Do you think she didn't hear me?"

"Oh, she heard you, all right," Jade said. "She just didn't say anything."

"But why-"

"I don't _know_ , Tori," Jade said. "I really don't. Maybe she's _relieved_ it was us, and not a real intruder. Maybe she'll just put it down to teenage shenanigans and think we were just sneaking in for the hell of it. Or maybe it was a trap, and the bondage police are on their way right now. But it's probably because she knows we were _both_ there."

"I don't get it."

"She's your _mom_ , Tori," Jade said. "Think about it. She's not likely to turn you in to the cops, or get you blackballed from the Club. If it was just me, it'd be different, but we're in this together, and she won't risk _you_."

"You think so?"

"I _hope_ so. And who knows, maybe she's got a soft spot for me, too, and when all this is over we'll sit down and laugh about it." She considered this. "Although I doubt it," she said. "But it complicates things. It complicates things a _lot._ Because now she knows that we're not as innocent as we look. So we don't have much time." She looked at the clock. "Come on, we'd better get to school."

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Holly Vega sat alone in the kitchen, staring into space.

 _Jade and Tori._

 _Tori and Jade._

 _Holly and Caroline._

 _Caroline and Holly._

She'd wanted her close to the Club, and now she was _too_ close.

The leash that bound them all was tightening. She made her decision.

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"You know you don't _have_ to wear that thing, you know."

"I know."

"So why..?"

"I like it."

"Good grief."


	41. Chapter 41 - The Picture

**Hi, we're back. Let's find out a little more about Jade's state of mind, and maybe Tori's too.**

 **As always, I appreciate your comments. Don't worry, this won't last forever...**

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _Hello, Holly._

 _You?_

 _That's right. It's been a long time._

 _What do you want?_

 _You owe me, Holly Vega. You all owe me._

 _If it's money…_

 _I don't want your money, Holly._

 _Then what?_

 _I want your help._

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"Oh, I nearly forgot." They sat in the Asphalt Café during morning break. "I brought these." Jade reached into her pocket and produced a handful of lipsticks in various shades. "I'll get you some new ones when I get chance."

"You really don't need to-"

"Hey, Sis. Hey, weirdo. What's this?" Trina's voice arrived, followed by her bosom, followed by Trina herself. "Ooh, lipstick."

"Mine." Tori clamped a hand over them, but years of practice had given Trina the edge. "Nice color," she said, opening one up.

"Hey!"

"Oh, come on," Trina said, unconcerned. "We're sisters. We share everything."

"No we don't!"

"Well we would if you weren't so mean."

" _Me_?" Tori said. I'm not… you never…" She tailed off, with a look on her face that Jade had come to think of as 'sly' Tori. "You know what," she said, "You're right. You're absolutely right."

"Of course I am."

"So if you give me that back…" she snatched the lipstick from Trina, "when we get home you can have _all_ my other lipsticks. All of them. Every one."

"What?" Trina said in surprise. "Are you sure? Some of those are expensive."

"I don't care," Tori said, with a grin. "You're _totally_ worth it. Sis."

"Aww. _Thank_ you." Trina beamed and nudged Tori, almost knocking her of the seat, before swaying happily away.

"Tori Vega," Jade murmured as she watched her go. "If I didn't already know what a terrible person you are, I'd be shocked."

"Come on. Don't tell me you don't like the idea of Trina kissing your-"

"Metaphorically, maybe," Jade said. "Although knowing what I know about her and your mom, I'm beginning to see her in a different light."

"Maybe you two could get together and be friends, have a good old girlie chat."

"That would be lovely. I'll get to it, right after I finish pushing these pins into my eyeballs."

"There." Tori finished with the lipstick and pouted. "How do I look?"

"Beautiful," Jade said, honestly. "It matches your…" Her eyes narrowed. "Are you wearing your collar under that scarf?"

Tori blushed guiltily. "You don't want me to?"

"It's not _that_ , it's just that it's going to raise some pretty awkward questions if anyone sees it."

Tori scoffed. "We'll just tell them it's for a play," she said. "You can get away with anything if you say that. I'm pretty sure if we turned up with a gimp mask and a strap-on and went at it on the roof of the food truck, nobody would bat an eyelid if you told them it was for a play."

"I'm pretty sure they would."

"Do you want to find out?"

"No!"

"Spoilsport."

"You know, any more of this and I'm going to have you spayed. Do you want to…"

Tori shifted, uncomfortably. Jade shook her head. "I told you, you don't have to wear that thing."

"It's fine, it's just…" she readjusted herself. "There, that's better."

"I don't even know if it's _healthy_ to keep it in that long. Listen, what do you say we skip school this afternoon?"

Tori struggled with this for a moment. "Is that an order?"

"What?"

"Is this one of those 'real-world' things where I'm supposed to say no?"

"Oh. No. This is just you and me. You can be off the clock if you want."

Tori considered this. Despite her best efforts, the whole 'on the clock' thing had become more of an afterthought, the line blurred between doing what Jade wanted because they were playing the game, and doing what Jade wanted because... well, because she was Jade. "Okay," she said. "What are we going to do?"

"We're going to see if we can find Caroline."

"How?"

"I don't know. But there can't be that many Caroline Mulhearns in L.A. We'll just look a few of them up."

"Right." Tori remembered something. "Do you want me to ask my dad, see if he can find anything?"

Jade hesitated. "Do you trust him?"

"What?" Tori looked puzzled. "Of course I trust him. He's my _dad_."

"It's just that... is he involved?"

"What do you mean?"

"With the Club. If your mom's a domme, then I'm guessing..."

"That my dad's a sub?"

"Well, yes. I mean, there's nothing wrong with that," she said, hastily, "it's just that if he's loyal to your mom-"

The sharp bark of Tori's laughter brought her up short. "What?"

"You really want to know?"

Jade had a sudden feeling that she didn't, but nodded.

"My dad's been having an affair for the last eighteen months."

She said it so matter-of-factly that it took Jade a few seconds to react. "Oh, God, Tori, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine." Tori gave a bitter little smile. "Another thing that's my fault."

" _Your_ fault?"

"In a way," she said. "My mom got so obsessed with all this stuff - running the Club, getting me into it - that she never really had much time for him. And he wasn't really into it all in the first place, so they just... drifted apart."

"Oh."

"That's why he does so much 'overtime'. Partly to get away from my mom, and partly because he's playing hide the night-stick with Carol from the D.A.'s office."

Jade shot soda through her nose. " _What_?"

Tori shrugged. "I can't blame him, really. Can you imagine being my mom's sub?"

Jade shuddered, but said nothing.

"In a weird way, it's kind of a vicious circle for her. The more she tries to keep control of everyone, the more they try to get away. A lesson _I_ should have learned, really. Kind of runs in the family."

"Listen, you are _not_ your mom, okay?" Jade said. "And you're certainly not your grandma. All that, it's over. There's just you and me, now." She paused. "How did you find out about your dad?"

"Trina told me."

" _Trina_?"

Tori nodded. "She's always known. I know they fight all the time, but her and my dad are actually pretty close. I think they both feel like they got the short end of the stick as far as my mom's affections go. Like I said, kind of my fault."

"Because you're the golden girl?"

"Yeah. I was the one who was supposed to shine. Follow in her footsteps." She laughed. "But it turns out I'm just a... what was it? A little lost girl in her mommy's shoes."

Jade groaned. "I didn't _mean_ any of that stuff, you know," she said. "It was just for effect, I wasn't trying to hurt you."

"I know." Tori toyed with her plastic cup for a moment. "What's the 'hammer'?"

"What?"

"The hammer. _'When the hammer falls'_. What is it?"

"I don't know," Jade said. "It was just a... spur of the moment thing. I guess it means… at the end. When everything's over."

"I like it," Tori said. "It's a good question."

"Um, thanks."

"Do you want to know the answer?"

"I..."

"I think you do." Tori reached across, took Jade's cup from her hand, ignoring her protest, and placed it in the middle of the table. Then she took her own, held it up until it had Jade's attention, and placed it carefully beside the other, adjusting it minutely until they were perfectly aligned. "There," she said, finally. "That's where I'll stand. Next to you."

Jade felt her face grow warm. "Tori..."

"Not _below_ you," Tori went on, "or above you. Just _beside_ you. Me and you. As equals. Because I know that's what you _want_. I mean," she said, "I know there's going to be a lot of this..." she picked up Jade's cup, and rattled it on the table, making _'grrrr'_ noises, "and I know there's going to be a lot of this..." She tipped her own cup over, with a small _'eek'_. "And hopefully a whole lot of this..." She mashed the cups together, making enthusiastic smooching noises. "But at the end of the day," she said, "it going to be like this." She put the cups back side by side, now a little mangled, and leaned back, satisfied with her performance. Jade burst out laughing.

"I love you, Vega," she said, "and if you play your cards right tonight, maybe there's going to be some of this." She took the cups, tipped them over and started thrusting one inside the other, accompanied by her best Barry White impression. " _Ooh, yeah, baby_ ," she said, as Tori started to giggle. " _You know you want some_ -"

"Hey." Andre appeared from nowhere. "What's up?"

Jade put the cups back upright, with a grin. "Nothing," she said. "I was just saying Tori gonna get it up the ass."

"What?"

"I _said_ , I was just telling Tori we gotta get to class," she said. "Come on Vega, this is no time for dramatics."

Tori appeared to be having trouble breathing. "Are you okay?" said Andre, as she slowly turned a deep maroon.

" _Mmmhmm_ ," Tori managed, without opening her lips.

"I think something just went down the wrong hole," Jade said, with a smirk that did nothing to reduce Tori's distress, "that can happen." She wiggled her eyebrows. "A lot."

" _Nng_."

"...Right." Andre took one last glance at Tori's purple face. "Well, I'll catch you girls later."

"Later!" Jade called after him. Tori finally exhaled.

"Don't do that!" she panted. "I thought I was going to rupture something."

"Nah," said Jade. "That comes later."

"Jade! Don't be gross."

"What happened to 'Mistress'?"

"Mistress! Don't be gross."

"That's better. Come on. We really do need to get to ass. Sorry, class."

.

.

.

"Dad?"

" _Hello? Who is this?"_

Tori rolled her eyes. "It's me, Tori."

" _Oh, hey, honey."_

"Look, I need you to do something for me."

There was a pause.

" _You do know I'm at work, right?"_

"Yeah. That's why I'm calling. I really need you to do me a favor. I need you to look someone up for me."

She gave the details, patiently, as her dad recited the many and varied reasons why respectable police officers couldn't just go rooting through confidential databases on the say-so of their teenage daughters.

"Please, Dad, it's important."

" _I really can't."_

"Please?"

" _I'd love to help, sweetheart, but…"_

She sighed. It was time to deploy her secret weapon.

"Oh, and please don't tell mom, okay?" she said. "This is between you and me. I don't want her to know."

There was silence on the other end of the line for a moment.

" _Let me see what I can do. I'll call you back."_

She killed the call. "He's going to have a look," she said, as they drove towards Jade's house.

"That was devious."

"I don't know what you mean," Tori said, knowing full well what she meant. "He just likes to help."

"Especially if it involves putting one over on your mom."

"All dads like to do that. It's part of the precious father-daughter bonding thing."

"I'll take your word for it. Okay, here we go."

They went into the house. "Look, I'm just going to get something from upstairs," Jade said. "You wait here a minute." She disappeared before Tori could protest, leaving her to wander aimlessly around the room. She was just in the process of inspecting a picture for dust when she heard a voice.

"Ah. Oh. Um... Tori."

Jade's dad always addressed her like this. She wasn't sure if he genuinely struggled to remember who she was, or if he actually thought 'Um... Tori' was her name. "Hi," she said. "I'm just waiting for Jade."

"Oh. Right. Good."

This seemed to lead them to an impasse. "Nice picture," she said, for want of anything better to say.

"Yes, it's very good, isn't it?" Mr West said. "She has quite an eye for it."

"She..?"

"Jade."

She looked back at the picture. " _Jade_ drew this?"

"Yes."

"I didn't know she could draw."

"She took classes."

"Really? When?"

Jade's dad looked rather uncomfortable. "A few years ago," he said. "She had an... accident."

An accident? Tori frowned. Jade never said anything about...

A few years ago. After the Lake. Not an accident. The _opposite_ of an accident. She saw the look of private pain that crossed the old man's face and wondered what it must be like to know your daughter had been driven to something like that, but never to know _why_.

"Anyway, she was a little shaken afterwards," he went on, in what Tori now realized was a epic understatement. "And the doctors thought it might be good for her to take up a hobby. So she went to art classes. Three times a week. That was the first thing she did." He looked at the picture, wistfully. "A shame, really, I'd have liked to see how she progressed, but she said they had to keep the rest of her work to study as part of her therapy."

Three times a week. She wondered if they'd been the same three nights that Sally had visited Caroline, if they'd _arranged_ it like that, and imagined the two girls laughing over coffee, hugging, parting with a wink and going their separate ways, Jade to sit quietly in a classroom with her pencils, Sally to do... whatever it was that Sally got up to. She didn't really want to think about Sally.

"It's very good," she murmured, studying the picture more closely. It was a woodland scene, pencil and charcoal, skilful but unimaginative was how she'd describe it to anyone other than its creator's dad. She chided herself that this was Jade's first attempt, that it wasn't her place to criticize. Her own artistic ability was virtually non-existent. But if she was honest, there was something not quite right about the middle. Something a little off. She peered closer.

"Yes, we thought she was doing very well," Jade's dad went on, "although a year later she had something of a relapse. Of course, she's…"

Tori wasn't listening, engrossed in her investigation, trying to pinpoint what it was that unsettled her so much about the center of the picture. The perspective was skewed, maybe, and there was something wrong with the trees. It was darker than the rest, as if she'd had to rework it over and over again, almost as if...

And then she saw it, and felt her blood run cold.

They weren't trees.

Oh God _._

"…probably told you all about it, I gather you two are… Are you all right?"

Tori felt the blood drain from her face and her vision blur. She couldn't hear the words, didn't feel the reassuring hand on her shoulder. All she could think was, _Jade drew this_.

She tried to visualize it, tried to imagine a fifteen-year-old Jade in a dusty room, pencil in hand, concentrating on _this_ , bringing it home to anxious parents, hanging it on the wall for everyone to see.

Only no one ever had. No one had ever thought to look. A silent cry for help, unheeded.

Or maybe she hadn't _wanted_ them to see. Maybe she'd taken a perverse satisfaction in telling them exactly what they wanted to know, knowing that they'd never understand. That this… _thing_ would hang on the wall for years to come, dusted until the glass wore thin, an invisible testament to the horror of Echo Lake.

She began to worry afresh about Jade's state of mind. She pictured the sudden transformation after the night of her catharsis, the bright, brittle smile, the eagerness to throw herself into their relationship. Was _any_ of it real? Or just another layer of deception, just another way of compensating for the trauma that lay beneath. Jade needed something, Jade was _missing_ something, and she didn't know what it was. It occurred to her, not for the first time, that she was the very _worst_ person Jade should have got involved with, her own delusions leading them into a world where seemingly the only cure for pain was _more_ pain, more intensity, piling on the sensations, burning through the candle to bring on the darkness. And she had a feeling she'd never be able to look at Jade again without seeing her shadow, the shadow of a fifteen-year-old girl, lost in a forest, eyes alight with silent recrimination.

And this was the girl that, in two days' time, she was going to let tie her to the bed. After everything she'd been through, after everything that had happened _between_ them over the last six months, she was going to let Jade tie her to the bed and...

"…glass of water, or something?"

She blinked, as the room came back into view, and turned to see Mr West's concerned face. "Oh, no. I'm fine," she croaked. "I just get these-"

She experienced a sudden, musical ringing sensation that she couldn't identify. She turned to Jade's dad, her mind blank.

"I think your phone's ringing," he said, helpfully.

"My phone..?" The concept seemed alien for a moment. "But…"

Her _dad_. Her dad said he'd call. She scrabbled in her pocket, the picture forgotten, and pulled out the phone, stabbing at the screen.

"Dad? Dad? Yeah, it's… you have? That's great, just wait a minute, I'll get a pen." She rooted in her bag. "Okay, go on… yeah… no, I don't really… no I'm not interested in traffic violations, Dad, I just need the address. Right… right… okay, got it. Thanks, Dad. Yeah, love you too. Bye."

"Tori?" The voice was quiet, barely a whisper. She turned, the note in her hand, to find Jade, dressed in a simple black dress, piercings removed, hair falling softly across her shoulders. _She's nervous_ , a part of her said. _She wants to impress_. "Did you…"

Tori held up the note, and took a deep breath. "That was my dad," she said.

"And?"

"I think we've found her."


	42. Chapter 42 - The House on the Hill

**I could have sworn I'd only updated a few days ago, but it turns out to be weeks. Where does the time go? Anyway, let's press on. Thank you, as always, for staying with it. There will be answers, dammit, but you're going to have to bear with me for another few chapters yet.**

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _You have two young daughters now._

 _Are you threatening me?_

 _No, Holly. I'm not here to threaten you, or blackmail you, although I'm sure they'd be fascinated to know what dear old grandmamma used to get up to. I'm here to ask for your help. And to make you an offer._

 _An offer?_

 _I want to build something. Something new. Something special. But I can't do it alone._

.

.

.

They drove away from the house. "Are you okay?" Jade said, finally, when Tori had been quiet for a few minutes.

"Mmm? Oh, yes. Thanks."

"My dad didn't upset you, did he?"

"No."

"It's just sometimes he can be a bit-"

"He was fine, honestly. I think he's nice."

"I thought you said he was 'cold and judgmental'?"

"But that was before... Wait, you didn't _tell_ him that, did you?"

"No, of course I didn't. I want him to like you."

"Thank God for that."

"I don't want him to know what a heartless monster you are."

"Hey! Anyway, you said the same."

"He's _my_ dad."

"Yes, but-"

"Mistress says hush now, Tori."

Tori gave a low 'humph' of frustration, but it was mitigated by the fact that, judging from her readiness to tease, Jade was in a better mood, and that suited her. She waited a few seconds to signify that the next thing she said was, _technically_ , the start of a new conversation.

"He really cares about you, you know."

"What?"

"Your dad. He cares."

There was a moment's silence, and then Jade turned to her, her expression unreadable. "I know," she said, quietly.

"Did you ever talk to him?"

"About what?"

"About what happened."

"No."

"I just wondered, you know, maybe it would help if-"

"Please don't, Tori."

"But maybe he'd-"

"I thought Mistress said _shut up_."

There was a horrible silence. "Yes, Mistress," Tori said, coldly, folding her arms. They drove on for nearly five seconds, until Jade, her face hot with the knowledge that she was in the wrong, swerved the car over to the side of the road.

She turned to Tori, who looked slightly alarmed. "Slap me."

"What?"

"Slap me."

"No!"

"Come on Tori, I deserve it."

"Why?"

"Because that was unforgivable. Jesus. I can't believe I just did that."

"It's fine," Tori said, quietly. "If you don't want to talk about it."

"No, It's _not_ fine, Tori. It's not fine at all." Jade said. "You're my girlfriend, for God's sake, and you're trying to help. I shouldn't be using this bullshit to slap you down when you want to talk to me. I'm sorry."

It's all right," Tori said, relenting. "But you do need to let me in, sometimes."

"I know," Jade said. "It's just that I'm a little touchy about my dad."

"All I was saying was that maybe you should confide in him."

"I can't. What good would it do?"

"It might help you."

"But it's not about me, is it? It's about _him_."

"What do you mean?"

"How do you think he'll feel, Tori, if I tell him about the Lake? What do you think it would _do_ to him? To know that that had happened to me?"

"I don't know, he loves you, he-"

"He _sent_ me there," Jade said. "It was _his_ idea."

"But it wasn't his fault!"

"I know it wasn't!" Jade said, exasperated. "And that makes it worse! Can you imagine what it would be like to live with something like that? To know that you'd made that decision, thinking you were doing the right thing? Thinking you were doing something good for someone, and instead… It would _destroy_ him, Tori. It would ruin his life. I can't do that to him."

"You can't shoulder it all yourself, Jade. You need someone."

"I've _got_ someone," Jade said, turning to her. "Haven't I?"

The sudden look of vulnerability on her face was too much for Tori. "Yes," she said. "Of course you have."

"Look, maybe I _will_ tell him something when all this is over," Jade said. "Not all of it, not the worst part, just… that I was unhappy. Maybe we'll find a middle ground."

Tori nodded, not wanting to push it any further.

"And I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"Don't worry about it. I'm kind of glad, really."

"What? Why?"

"Because at least you made a mistake. I was beginning to think you wouldn't."

"You _want_ me to make a mistake?"

"Honestly? As in 'off the clock' honestly?"

"Honestly as in 'I love you' honestly."

Tori sighed. "A little bit."

"Why?"

"Because you're a lot better at this than I thought you'd be."

"Well, to be honest, Tori, a lot of it's just common sense."

"Then why wasn't _I_ any good at it?"

Jade maintained a tactful silence, and Tori rolled her eyes. "Okay, I get it."

"Anyway, I already made a mistake over the whole Club thing last night."

"That was different, though. That wasn't about this. You didn't forget who I was, you just forgot we were doing it at _all_."

"I didn't!"

"Come on. Look me in the eye and tell me that if I'd just been your girlfriend, or even just a friend, you wouldn't have called me up anyway and said, _'Get your ass over here, we're breaking into someplace_ ', and expected me to do it."

"Well, maybe," Jade conceded. "But..."

"Yeah, you would. And I'd have done it." Tori shrugged. "I can't _force_ you to make mistakes," she said, "and you won't do it on purpose. So I just have to take what I can get."

"But I still don't see why you want me to screw up."

"So you know what it's _like_. See that it's not as easy as it looks, having control over someone who'll just roll over and take it every time. You can get carried away," she said. "Forget."

There was a note of wistful reproach in her voice that could easily apply to both of them. "And not just you," she went on, before Jade could say anything. " _I_ need to know what it feels like to be treated like that, to have the shadow world used against you in the real world. And now I do, even if _you_ didn't do it deliberately." She turned away towards the window. "Although you did kind of ruin it by apologizing."

"I… What?"

"Apologizing. Big no-no."

"But…" It occurred to Jade that Tori was messing with her now. "I see," she said, gravely. "Have I… diminished my authority?"

"I'm afraid so."

"Have you lost all respect for me as your mistress?"

"Yep."

"Have I betrayed the sacred trust of the Sisterhood? Will I have to hand in my badge and hang up my nipple clamps?"

Tori sniggered. "Absolutely."

"I'm a disgrace, Tori." She shook her head, sadly. "I withdraw my apology. Can you find it in your heart to _not_ forgive me?"

Tori turned to her with a grin. "A first offence," she said. "Maybe I could _not_ let you off with a caution."

"It won't happen again, Officer," Jade said. She frowned. "Or maybe it will. I'm kind of confused now. How about I take you to dinner tonight?"

"Is that an order?"

"Yes, it is."

"Then I am your humble slave, Mistress, a mere plaything, helpless to resist. Can I pick the restaurant?"

"But I... Okay, fine."

.

.

.

Had Tori been slightly more observant, she might have noticed that the closer they drew to their destination, the slower Jade seemed to be driving, as though intent on proving some kind of Zeno's Paradox of her own.

"This is a nice part of town," Tori murmured. "Ooh, hang a left, here. I think it's up there."

Jade swung left, silently. They crested the hill to see a row of houses.

"Just on the right. Stop here." Tori peered out of the window, lifting her sunglasses. "This is the address."

There was no answer from the driver's side. She turned to see Jade, face white, staring straight ahead.

"Jade?"

There was no answer.

"Look, this is only the first address we've found, okay?" Tori tried to comfort her. "Don't be disappointed if this isn't it. We've still got plenty to-"

"This is it."

"... What?"

"This is it."

"Are you sure?"

"It's just like she described it," Jade said, in a tight voice, her hands gripping the wheel. "White Doric columns to the front, Japanese maples to the side. Ornamental fountains. There's an open fire in the living room and a citrus tree in the garden. Jesus Christ, Tori, I can't _do_ this."

"Come on, it'll be-"

"I can't!" Jade finally turned to look at her, face ashen, eyes wet. "I just... can't. I can't go in there. I can't see her. I'm sorry, Tori, I know I dragged you out here, but I just... we've got to go." She reached for the ignition.

"Wait!" Tori said. "Wait."

Jade paused.

"Look," Tori said, carefully. "You don't have to do this, okay? _You_ don't have to. I'll do it."

"You?"

"We came here for a reason, Jade, and that's not going to go away. Sooner or later it has to be done, or we'll never find out. So you wait here, and I'll go."

"But-"

"I'll just go up there, knock on the door, and make enquiries. Find out if she's there. I won't tell anyone who I am, or why we're here, or anything like that, I'll just pretend I'm... collecting for charity, or something."

Jade hesitated, undecided. "But what if she... they... won't tell you?"

"Pffft." Tori pulled a clipboard out of her schoolbag, along with her glasses and a scrunchie. She buttoned her shirt up to the top, pulled her hair into a ponytail, and balanced her glasses on her nose. "See?"

"See what?"

"I'm cute. People will tell me anything." Jade looked unconvinced. "Okay, well, maybe _you_ don't think I'm cute," Tori said, "but that's because you're a miserable old bag."

"Hey! I'm not a... You realize you're still on the clock, here, right?"

"So click me. Right, here I go." She got out of the car, clutching her clipboard to her chest. "Wish me luck."

"Tori..."

"And please don't drive off without me, okay?" Tori didn't wait long enough to find out whether Jade agreed, but turned and headed up to the house.

.

.

.

The door was answered by a well-dressed woman in her thirties. "Hello?"

Tori put on what she hoped was a winning smile. "Hi!" she said brightly. "I'm looking for Miss Mulhearn."

"Who?"

"Miss Mulhearn."

"I think you must have the wrong place."

"Really?" Tori peered at her clipboard. "No, I'm sure this is it."

"Well there's no 'Mulhearn' here."

"Oh." Tori thought for a moment. "Maybe she lived here before?" she suggested. "Left a forwarding address?"

"No."

"Oh."

"I'm afraid I can't help you."

"But-"

"I'm sorry."

The woman moved to close the door, but Tori wasn't done yet. She let her shoulders sag, and put on an expression of almost comedic despair. "The kids will be _so_ disappointed," she sighed, pitifully.

For a moment she wondered if she'd overdone it, but the woman paused.

"The kids?"

"At school."

"What school?"

"I'm sorry, didn't I say?" Tori said. "I'm from Hollywood Arts." She waved her clipboard. "Miss Mulhearn was a patron of the school. She did so much for us, and she was _so_ popular with the children. And when we raised the money for the new library, some of us thought it would be nice if she came back and opened it for us." She let her face fall again. "But I guess that won't happen now," she said, dejectedly.

"I..."

"I suppose it can't be helped," Tori went on, milking it for all it was worth. "I guess she just forget to let us know she'd moved." She hugged her clipboard to her chest and sniffed. "I'm sorry to have bothered you."

She turned to leave. "Wait." The woman's voice called her back. "Are you sure this was the right address?"

"Oh, yes, I pulled it from the school records."

"It's just that..." The woman seemed to be wrestling with her conscience. "We bought the house vacant," she said, eventually. "About a year ago."

"Really?" Tori perked up. "I don't suppose you've got the name of the agent, I could-"

"It had been on the market for a while," the woman said. "I gather it was being sold off as..." she hesitated, "part of the estate."

"Part of the..." It slowly dawned on Tori what she was saying, and why she was so reticent about it, and she felt her heart sink. "Oh."

"I'm sorry," the woman said, her tone softening. "Maybe I shouldn't have said anything."

"I..."

"I just didn't know whether the agent would tell you, and I didn't think it was fair for you not to-"

"No, it's fine," Tori said, quickly. "Honestly. Thank you."

"Are you all right?"

"Yes, it's just... a bit of a shock, that's all." She waved her arms, helplessly. "She was so well-loved, the kids will be... I mean…"

She didn't want to turn around. She _really_ didn't want to. She wanted to stand here forever, rooted to the spot by the sympathy of a stranger. She wanted to do anything but turn around and see Jade's face, see the expectation written there, see it fade before she'd even had chance to say anything.

She swallowed. "Thank you," she said. "You've been very kind." The woman tilted her head in a little gesture of commiseration, and she turned to begin the long, lonely walk back towards the car.

.

.

.

"She's dead, isn't she." It wasn't a question. The look on Tori's face had given it away before she'd even reached the car.

"Jade…"

"Tell me."

Tori didn't really know what to say. She nodded, silently. Jade stared out of the windshield at nothing, finger flexing on the steering wheel.

"What did they say?" she said, distantly.

"They... bought the house empty."

"So they never knew her."

"No."

It seemed to Tori that Jade was fighting something, but whether it was anger, sadness or frustration she couldn't tell. "Look," she said, "we don't know for sure that this is her. There could be any number of Carolines in L.A. and a whole lot of houses that look like this, I mean..."

But Jade wasn't listening. She was listening to another conversation, a conversation that had buried itself away in the back of her mind.

"Trixie," she said, quietly.

"... and even if it... Trixie?" Tori said. "What about her?"

"I spoke to her."

"When?"

"After I came to see you in the hospital."

"You never said."

"I had other things on my _mind_ , Tori. You'd just ripped a hole in yourself. And at the time, I thought she was going to kill me over the whole 'contest' thing."

"Oh. So what did she say?"

"She said... She told me someone died."

"What? Where?"

"At the Club." Jade hesitated. "One of the dommes."

Tori felt a cold tingle in her spine. "Did she say it was Caroline?"

"No."

"Then why-"

"Who else, Tori?" Jade turned to her, angrily. "Who else could it possibly be? A couple of years ago. The same time something happened to Sally."

"You don't know that!"

"Well it's a bit of a fucking coincidence, don't you think?" she snapped.

"No I don't!" Tori said, her own voice rising. "For God's sake, Jade, we don't even know this is her! And even if it is, there's nothing to say it's the same woman that died at the Club. Or that that happened at the same time as Sally was there." Jade's anger seemed to abate slightly. "Did Trixie say anything else?"

"No," she muttered. "It was just something she'd heard."

"Well, there you go then. Look," Tori said, "I know that you're upset..."

"I'm _not_ upset."

"Yes you are." Tori reached up and brushed a tear off the other girl's face, offering it up in evidence. Jade looked at it, then at Tori, and her shoulders slumped in defeat. "I'm sorry," she said. "It's just that I... I don't know. It's stupid. I didn't even know the woman."

"But Sally did," Tori stroked her thigh, comfortingly. "And she was your friend. Maybe you... feel a bit of her pain."

Jade gave a half laugh. "Pain," she said, bitterly. "It's always about the pain."

Something occurred to Tori. "Listen," she said. "Maybe this isn't such a bad thing. I don't mean it's not a _bad_ thing," she added hastily, at Jade's look of dismay, "but if it's true what Trixie said, and that it was Caroline who died at the Club, then..."

"Then what?"

"Think about it," Tori said. "A domme dies at the Club. That's a big deal. Big enough for Trixie to hear about it and remember it two years later. Well, don't you think if something had happened to Sally at the same time, she'd know about that _too_? If something happened to both of them, on the same night, it's kind of weird that only Caroline would get a mention."

"Maybe they didn't think Sally was that important."

"Come on, Jade. We're not talking about some stupid Club bulletin. Rumors get around. You can be as strict as you like, but the subs are still going to talk."

"That's the thing, though, Tori," Jade said. "They don't."

"What do you mean?"

"The subs don't talk."

"Trixie obviously does. And Stephanie."

"Trixie's different. She's been there a long time. And Stephanie's new, like me and Amy. The rest of them, it's like talking to fog."

"Well anyway, _someone_ would have heard," Tori insisted. "So maybe nothing happened to Sally at all."

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe she was just so upset when Caroline died that she went away, just left town. You said yourself they were close, it would have been pretty devastating for her. Perhaps she just packed her bags and went home."

"But… why wouldn't she say anything to me?"

"Grief's a funny thing, Jade. She must have known how you felt about all this, and when it went wrong for her, it could be that she was just too ashamed to come to you. Or maybe she blamed you in some way for not warning her off. And once you've made the break with someone, it can be hard to come back. Maybe she just thought it was for the best."

Jade stared at her. "Do you think so?" she said, uncertainly.

Tori sighed. "Honestly?" she said. "I don't know. But it makes as much sense as anything else, doesn't it? Maybe there is a way through all this. Maybe the Club _is_ just what it seems." She shrugged. "A bunch of sad, middle-aged women with an anal fixation and no dress sense."

Jade snorted. "Tori Vega!" she said, laughing despite herself. "That's no way to talk about your mom."

Tori smiled, glad to have distracted her for a moment. "I'm just saying it's something to think about. We've been so focussed on this thing that maybe we're missing the obvious."

"Maybe." Jade thought for a minute. "Listen," she said. "About tonight. Do you mind if we don't do dinner? I don't know if I'm really in the mood for it, and I'm not going to be much company. Another night, maybe. I'll owe you one."

Tori squeezed her thigh. "Of course."

"Thanks. I'll drop you off back at-"

"No."

"What?"

"I'm not leaving you on your own tonight."

"Why?"

"Because all you'll do is sit in the house all night getting drunk and thinking about this, and that won't help. I'll come over."

"But-"

"No buts."

"You do know how this 'mistress' thing's supposed to work, don't you?"

"Yes, but I also know what's good for you," Tori said. "And festering in your room all night with a bottle of your dad's Scotch isn't. So I'm coming over."

Jade gave up. "Okay," she said. "Thank you."

"All part of the service." Tori winked. "Speaking of which, tonight's our last night, really."

Jade groaned. "I'm really not sure I'm up to that, Tori," she said. "I'm pretty-"

"Shh," said Tori, putting her finger to Jade's lips. "Hush. I don't mean like that." She waited until she was sure that Jade was quiet. "I just want to look after you. And maybe show you something else. Another side."

"Another side to what?"

"To me."

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 _Where?_

 _These are the details._

 _I've heard of it. It's been around a long time._

 _And now it's going to change. We're going to change it._

 _But I can't afford this._

 _I have money too. And soon there'll be others. Rich, powerful women, looking for something different._

 _Different?_

 _I have plans._

 _What sort of plans?_

 _I had to leave college because of what happened, Holly. But it doesn't mean I didn't learn a thing or two._

 _But..._

 _Just think about it, Holly. You'll be a part of something. A kind of… sisterhood, if you will. And when your little girls are old enough-_

 _No!_

 _It runs in the family, Holly. You have no choice._

 _I am not my mother._

 _Then prove it. Help me._

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	43. Chapter 43 - The Curious Incident

... of the Domme in the Night Time.

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 **Hi. Here we are again. Only one more chapter after this to round off Tori's week, and then it's on to the Diamond Club for the final trial. Are we excited? Anyone?**

 **Never mind. Thanks for the reviews, I appreciate them. And thanks to Max Tomos for his suggestions.**

 **Cricket bats are made of willow. Just so you know.**

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 _And what if I say no?_

 _I don't want to threaten you, Holly. I want us to be friends. But your mother looks a little frail these days. If she went to jail..._

 _It wouldn't come to that._

 _Wouldn't it?_

 _It'd be your word against hers._

 _And what about you, Holly? What would you say when you took the stand? You found me. Would you lie to protect her, after what she did?_

 _She's my mother for God's sake! What would you do?_

 _My mother's dead, Holly. Where do you think my half of the money's coming from? I let her die without ever telling her. I gave her that._

 _I'm sorry._

 _It doesn't matter anyway. There'd be others willing to come forward._

 _Others?_

 _I wasn't the first, Holly._

 _._

 _._

 _._

I don't know how to tell you, Sal. I mean, Tori says we can't be sure it's her, but...

She's dead, Sal. Caroline's dead. I don't know why it hurts so much to know that. Maybe Tori's right, maybe I do feel your pain somehow. Sometimes I feel you so close to me, Sal, that it's hard to believe you're not here.

Maybe you already know about Caroline, and that's why you left. But you wouldn't have done that, would you? please say you wouldn't have blamed me, or been embarrassed, that our friendship wasn't strong enough to get past that.

Or maybe you already know about Caroline because you're with her now. You know, _'up there'_. Except you wouldn't be up there, would you, Sal? You'd get bored too easily. You'd rather be down there, kicking Old Nick's butt, tormenting _his_ demons with _yours_ , causing chaos. You'd probably be running the place now.

Somewhere there's a universe where this isn't happening. Somewhere out there, me and Tori are just normal teenage girls, and the most outrageous thing we do is kiss in the park when no one's looking, or hold hands under the lunch table. And you're the crazy friend I confide in, and you laugh at me and mock me for not having gotten to second base yet, and I blush, and maybe I lie and say we've gone all the way when we haven't, and then Tori finds out and we have our first row, but it's kind of cute and I apologize and I get her flowers and...

That's what I've missed out on, Sal. The romance. I love her so much, and yet I'll never get to have that with her, never get to experience those first tentative steps, the nervousness, the innocence, the discovery. The first kiss. What I wouldn't give, Sal, to know what our first kiss would have been like, instead of being shoved on my knees with my head between her legs the very first day I got there. And now it's gone forever.

What kind of start is that to a love affair, Sal? What kind of memory is that to treasure, to tell the grandkids? Although I guess if it was up to Holly we'd probably have that damned photo framed and mounted over the fireplace. I swear to God, Sal, if Holly thinks our kids are following in the family tradition she's got another thing coming. In fact, a pair of things. A pair of pointy, stabby things. Even the thought of it makes me want to cry.

Damn it, I _am_ crying now, and I shouldn't. I don't deserve the romance, I don't deserve that first kiss, I don't deserve _anything_. It's my own stupid fault, all of this. I could have done it all differently, I could have stopped this before it even started. And Tori, she's been an angel tonight. I mean it. She's looked after me like a princess. Of course, she wanted to do it all on the clock, but I can't really complain.

In fact, I can't complain at _all_. Jesus, West, what are you thinking?

And maybe I'm being too hard on Holly after what happened tonight...

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Jade lay face down on the bed, head resting on her arms, eyes closed, practically melting with pleasure. Baths had been had, nails had been painted, pampering had occurred on a scale that rivalled the last days of the Roman empire. Games had been played, just silly things - Jade had finally, if belatedly, solved the problem of what to do with Tori in the 'downtime' - and it occurred to her now that it was Tori's utter lack of self-consciousness that made her so good at this. She never stopped to wonder whether she'd look foolish doing something, or worried that Jade would ridicule her - she simply trusted her _not_ to, and Jade in turn felt compelled to uphold that trust. When Tori had somehow managed to catch one of the chocolate drops on her nose instead of in her mouth - a feat which seemed almost impossible - it had been Jade who'd squealed with delight.

" _Now_ what are you going to do, subby girl?" she'd asked excitedly, genuinely fascinated to see how Tori would get out of the predicament. The rules, and the handcuffs, precluded the obvious answer.

Tori squinted, cross-eyed in bemusement at the end of her nose for a moment, then grinned. She flipped her head back, sending the drop up into the air, and caught it on her tongue, rolling it back into her mouth in triumph. "Taa-daa!"

And Jade had laughed and clapped as though it was the greatest thing she'd ever seen, before dropping to her knees to try and retrieve it from Tori's tongue with her own, the battle leaving them both breathless, the chocolate just a memory on their lips.

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 _Your tattoo._

 _What about it?_

 _I like it. It's a nice sentiment, although a little ironic in your case._

 _What do you know about it?_

 _I know all about you, Holly._

 _I don't want to talk about her._

 _I'm sorry. But I do like it. Totus Tuus. Maybe we could use something like that at the club._

 _I haven't agreed to anything yet._

 _But you will._

 _How do you know?_

 _The tell-tale slip of the anticipatory adverb, Holly._

 _What?_

 _'Yet'._

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Tori sat straddling Jade's hips, wearing nothing but the collar and the red lace underwear that she was determined Jade would get to see _in situ_ at least once, her hands moved firmly but smoothly through the massage oil, sending little shivers down Jade's spine.

"Does that please you, Mistress?" Tori murmured, close to her ear.

"Mmmmm."

Jade reached behind her, hand questing, but Tori caught it gently. "I thought you said no sex tonight?" If truth be told, this was a little test of her own, to see whether Jade felt genuinely free to indulge herself, or whether she'd feel she was imposing on Tori without permission, even though she must know that Tori was hot as hell for it.

Jade hesitated. "You don't want to?" she said.

Tori sighed to herself. What did you have to do to get taken _advantage_ of by this girl? "It's not up to me," she chided, and put her lips to Jade's ear. "If you want me," she said, " _take_ me."

Jade gave a low groan of lust, and rolled over underneath Tori, reaching for her, tangling her fingers in her hair and pulling her down into the kiss. Tori couldn't stop herself grinning in triumph, and Jade felt it. She pulled Tori away.

Tori started, guiltily. "What?"

"You're smiling."

"I'm not!"

"Yes you are. You're up to something."

"I'm just enjoying myself."

"Oh, a _re_ you, now?" Jade arched an eyebrow, playfully. "Well, we'll see about that."

Tori felt Jade's grip on her head tighten, the slight downward pressure, and smiled to herself. She slowly shuffled down the bed with a faint murmur of protest, her lips leaving a hot trail across the body underneath her, pressing back but always relenting, putting up just enough resistance for them both to get a kick out of it. She made herself comfortable between Jade's legs, hands behind her back, and paused, knowing exactly what effect this had on Jade, wondering how long she could fight the temptation. Jade had always been strangely shy about actually _forcing_ her to take this last inch of the journey, and getting the other girl to the point where she couldn't help herself, to give her control _and_ make her lose it, had become Tori's burning ambition. She exhaled, letting her warm breath fall where Jade would feel it most, and waited.

The answer to her question was - not long. She heard Jade moan, and felt the hand on her head push more insistently. She held it off for a few more seconds, and then finally succumbed with a whisper. _No…_

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Holly stood in the street, uncharacteristically nervous. How could she have let it go so far? This was never how it was supposed to be. And what she was going to do now was just a drop in the ocean, an attempt to roll back the tide when it had already turned. But it was _something_ , something to assuage the guilt that stemmed from a greater guilt. To take control of her self-respect by sacrificing it.

She'd always been weak. She knew that. She'd bolstered herself with a feeling of power that had never been hers to take, exercised over people who'd given it not for respect, but for love. David. Trina. Tori.

Caroline.

Even Jade, in a way. She'd exploited Jade's love for Tori to control everything, and now it was falling apart.

But it could be fixed. There wasn't much time, but if she was careful, things could still turn out for the best. She cast her mind back to the letter locked in the safe. In a few months she'd be risking her career to keep it hidden, but if she could make it right before then...

She was just going to have to trust them. Trust Jade.

 _Take control by losing control._

There was a lot of the _other_ girl in Jade, she decided, the same look in her eye, the same feeling of something best left undisturbed. A fire smouldering, waiting to burst into life. But that girl had come through a torment that she could barely imagine, and she'd come out stronger. So why...

It had never really occurred to her before.

 _Where did Jade's fire come from?_

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Jade's head lolled back into the pillow, her other hand grasping at the sheets as Tori's tongue found its mark. Jesus, she was good at this. _And_ she knew it. She could almost picture the look of satisfaction on the other girl's face, and that just added to her ecstasy, the knowledge that right now she was a slave to what that tongue could do. She lifted her legs and crossed them over Tori's back, hand still on her head, pulling her deeper and deeper until it felt like…

"Jade?"

Her mom's voice. She froze.

"Jade!" The voice said again, more shrilly. "Are you up there? Tori's mom's here."

"Shit!" Jade's legs clamped together in fear so hard it made Tori's ears pop. "Your mom!" She rolled off the bed and grabbed at a gown. "Get dressed."

Tori seemed oddly reluctant to move, slowly getting to her feet as though she had all the time in the world. "But we're not done yet, Mistress," she said.

"Never mind that! Get dressed."

"Is that an order?"

"Come on, Tori, you're not on the clock now."

"Really?" Tori said. "Then… I choose to stay like this."

"You… what?"

Tori jingled her collar. "I'm not ashamed of it."

"But this is your _mom_ , Tori!"

"Even more reason to show her," she said. "Anyway, it's nothing she hasn't seen us do the other way round before."

"But…" There were footsteps on the stair. Jade stared in bafflement at Tori, who just shrugged and smiled. "Jesus." She gave in. "Okay, fine. Just… do something subbish."

Tori looked around the room. "Here," she said, grabbing Jade and pushing her into an armchair in the corner. "Sit."

"What are you-"

Tori snatched an apple from the fruit bowl, and got down on her hands and knees in front of the chair. "Feet!" she hissed, and pushed the apple into her mouth.

It took Jade a moment to understand what was going on, until Tori's frantic and now mute gesturing got through to her. She lifted her legs and placed them across the small of Tori's back, feet crossed. She just had time to grab for a magazine and open it on her lap before she heard a sharp knock at the door.

"Come in." She turned her attention to this issue's 'Scissors of the Month'.

The door swung open, and Holly was already talking. "I'm glad I've caught you both," she said, pulling at her gloves. "I just wanted to… Tori!"

Her eyes widened in horror. She spun around to face the door, face burning. "Tori!" she snapped. "For God's sake, _get_ up!"

Almost. Jade _almost_ let it go. But the little nudge from the girl beneath her told that something else was happening here.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Holly!" she said, shocked. "What do you think you're doing?" She shook her head in disapproval. "You can't just come in here and start ordering my sub around. That's a breach of all _kinds_ of etiquette."

Holly spun to face her. "But she's my daughter!"

The mock affront on Jade's face gave way to genuine anger. "We're all _someone's_ daughter, Holly," she said, coldly. "It's never bothered you before. And right now she's _my_ sub, and she's busy. If you've got something to say, I'm sure she can hear you."

"But-"

"Don't you worry about her. She's quite comfortable." She considered this for a moment. "Well, not comfortable as such. Maybe a bit bony. I could use a cushion or something." From underneath her, she felt Tori shake with laughter. She rolled up the magazine and swatted her on the backside. "Quiet, you."

Holly's face went purple. "Jade!"

"Did you _want_ something, Holly?"

The other woman fumed in futility, but there was nothing she could do in the face of their obvious complicity. She got control of herself and cleared her throat. "Well, what I actually came to say, although it seems rather _redundant_ , now," she glanced down at Tori with distaste, "is that I've been wrong."

"Wrong?"

"I was wrong about you, Jade, and probably about Tori, too," she said. "I tried to force you down a path that wasn't necessarily right for either of you. So from now on, whatever you choose to do, whatever relationship you decide to have, it's entirely up to you. You can stay at the Club, or you can leave it, I'll support you either way. However you want to live your lives, you… have my blessing." She sniffed. "Not that you need it, apparently."

Jade stared at her, open-mouthed.

"And for heaven's sake, Tori," she muttered, heading for the door. "Keep your back straight. Your posture's terrible."

"Well, I wasn't expecting that," Jade murmured, as she watched her go. Under her legs, Tori was still twitching. "Okay, you're off the clock. You can let it out now." She moved a foot and pushed the other girl over onto her side, where she lay giggling on the rug. She spat out the apple and slapped at Jade's leg.

"You nearly made me pee myself," she said, accusingly. "And I am _not_ bony."

"Bony is in the lower calf of the beholder."

"Then there's something wrong with your legs. I like to think of myself as... willowy."

"Like a cricket bat. Maybe I should think about getting you reupholstered."

"As long as it's in black leather."

"Steady, tiger." Jade laughed. "So, what was that all about?"

"Honestly?" Tori said. "I've no idea. I think it's a trap."

"Not your mom. _You_. Why did you want her to see you?"

"I told you, I'm not ashamed of this, and she needs to know."

"Come on, Tori. If you'd wanted her to know that you could have just told her. Or shown her the video. I take it she doesn't know about it yet?"

"No."

"So why this little charade?"

Tori hesitated. "You really want to know?"

"Yes."

Tori wrapped herself in a gown, and sighed. "You don't really resent me, do you, Jade?" she said. "If you did, you'd have been way meaner to me this week than you have. You could have done anything, made my life hell, really laid it on. You could have humiliated me in front of my friends, beaten me for being late, or dropping your burrito, or talking to Beck, you could have made up any rule you like without even telling me, and then punished me for it. And I mean _really_ punished me, not this 'one click' business. You could have tied me up in the closet and left me there all _week_. I'd have taken it. You could have taken everything _I_ did and cranked it up to eleven, but you didn't. The worst thing you did to me this week was tell me to shut up. And even that was in private."

"Because those were the terms."

" _Your_ terms, Jade. _You_ made them up. You didn't have to, you could have just gone with my rules, or done it any damned way you wanted, because that's what I was offering. And even if you did want to have your own terms, you didn't have to tell me, you could have just kept them to yourself and let me be scared of how far you'd go. But you couldn't do that, could you? You had to spell it out. You know why?"

"Why?"

"Because you didn't _want_ to hurt me. You wanted to guarantee you couldn't go too far, and you wanted me to know that. You wanted me to feel safe. Because I don't think this is really about you and me at all, is it?" she said. "This is about you and _her_."

"Who?"

"My mom."

"You think I want to do this with your _mom_?"

"I don't mean that. What I'm saying is that you were prepared for this. You came into it with your eyes open. You practically _planned_ it. You knew what was involved, you knew that I might be cruel to you, you probably _expected_ me to be a bitch after the things that happened between us at school, but you went ahead anyway. And even when you found out how crazy the rules were, even when you found out that this wasn't going to be anything like Sally's arrangement, you stuck with it. You were prepared to give me total control, so that you could find out what you wanted. But what you _weren't_ prepared for," Tori said, "was for me to hand that control over to _her_. For me to let _her_ have the final say in how I treated you. You thought this was going to be a private party, and suddenly it turned out everyone was invited. A woman you barely knew had complete control of your life, because I was stupid enough to let her. And there was nothing you could do about it."

"I could have said something."

"No you couldn't. Because I told you it was all or nothing. You submit or you walk away, so you just had to stand there and take it."

"I still don't see what that's got to do with this."

"You once said to Sally that you felt like you were fighting over me, fighting a battle with my mom. And maybe you were. Well," Tori said, spreading her hands, "now you've won."

"What?"

Tori rolled her eyes. "You've just made her stand there and watch you treat her daughter like a sub, Jade," she said. "She's just seen her pride and joy, her budding Domme of the Year, the girl she's trained to be _just like her_ , bent over and used as a footstool. Beaten on the ass with a magazine while you looked her in the eye and told her you had more control over me than she did. And this time, _she_ had to stand there and _she_ had to take it. She'll _never_ look at you in the same way again. And if that doesn't count as a trump card, Jade, I don't know what else I can do."

"Jesus, Tori, you didn't _need_ to do anything. I wasn't asking-"

"Tell me you don't feel better."

"Well-"

"Go on."

A small smile appeared. "Well maybe a little bit."

"You see?"

Jade couldn't argue. "I don't know what to say, Tori," she said. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it. Although I'll be picking a pretty expensive restaurant."

"But I still think it was kind of cruel. Especially when it turned out she was here to apologize."

"She wouldn't be apologizing if she didn't know she'd lost."

"Tori!"

"What?"

"I don't know, it's just... She's your _mom_."

Tori sighed. "I know," she said. "And I do love her. But I'm just so sick of her treating everyone like puppets, like we've all got to dance to her tune. Even when she's apologizing she makes it sound like she's doing us a favor. I shouldn't be letting her run my life, making me hang around with her and her boring friends. I should be... rebelling. Kicking against it. It's all right for you," she said. "You've done it twice."

"What do you mean?"

"You got involved in something your parents wouldn't approve of, and now you've managed to subvert that as well."

"And so have you, if you think about it. You've been a sub when your mom wants you to be a domme, and then you've turned out to be an uppity little madam who's more trouble than she's worth."

"Hey!" Tori punched her on the knee. "I'll have you know I'm worth every bit of trouble."

"Still uppity, though."

"You like it when I'm uppity."

"That is _so_ true."

Tori bit her lip and hesitated. "Jade?"

"What?"

"Take me to the Club."

"The Club?"

"On Saturday night."

Jade looked confused. "We're already going," she said. "Aren't we?"

"I mean _you_ take _me_. As a sub."

"What? No!"

"Why not?"

"Well for a start, that's not how it works, is it? You can't just rock up there and say we've changed places, we'll never get in. I'm not even on the books."

"But that's the point," Tori said. "The paperwork's already done. It only needs your signature."

"And what about your mom?"

"She _wants_ you to go."

"Not with you as my sub!"

"Well she can hardly object _now,_ can she? Not after coming over tonight. I'll have a word with her, get her to sort everything out."

"...No."

"Why not?"

"Because we had a deal, Tori! I do _this_ , you take me on Saturday."

"But I don't see why you want to go."

"Because there are things I need to find _out_ , Tori," Jade said. "Things that I can only find out as a sub. Plus there's the whole 'trial' thing."

"But that's even better," Tori said. "If _I_ go they won't make me do it because I'm new, and I can still find out what you need to know."

"No, you can't."

"Why?"

"Because… I don't _know_ what I need to know," Jade said, evasively. "It's just something I have to get a feeling for, maybe chat with the other subs. They won't talk to you."

"From what you were saying, they won't talk to _anyone_."

"But I've never really tried to pin them down before. I'm sure if I get one of them on their own I can find something out."

"But-"

"Please, Tori. Just give me this. Once we've been, we'll do whatever you want. If you want to go as a sub, we'll do that. Anything."

Tori gave in. "Okay," she said.

"Thank you."

There was a short pause. "Although to be honest, I'm not really stoked at the idea," Jade said.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't really _want_ to parade my girlfriend half-naked on a string for a bunch of leering weirdos to look at."

"And _I'm_ not really stoked at the idea of my girlfriend taking part in some 'sexy olympics', or whatever it is, either. But you still want me to do it."

"It never bothered you before."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just saying. You wouldn't have thought twice about taking me if I'd been a real sub."

"Because I'd have thought you were enjoying it!"

"Well, maybe I'll enjoy it _this_ time."

"You'd better not."

"Right. So I can either do it voluntarily and not enjoy it, or do it against my will and enjoy it, but I can't do both?"

"That's not what I'm saying!"

"Man, you sure are uppity."

"You're going to find out _how_ uppity I can be in a... wait, are you going to put me on the clock?"

"Not in the middle of an argument."

"This isn't an argument."

"Yes it is."

"No it isn't!"

"So I _can_ put you on the clock?"

"Not in the middle of an argument."

"I thought you said it wasn't an argument?"

"Well it is _now_."

And so they bickered happily into the night, two empty cups rattling on a table, until finally one reached for the other, and shut them up with a kiss.

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 _And who knows, Holly, maybe one day you can invite her along, and show her what you've built. What you've achieved. Make her proud of you._

 _Wouldn't you like that?_

 _._

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	44. Chapter 44 - Balance

**Hi, we're back. T** **his seems like it took an age to write. Anyway, s** **ub week's almost over, and we'll definitely get to the Club next chapter. In the meantime, maybe we've been a little harsh on Cat, so let's kiss and make up. Also, Trina's here, yay! Man, I love Trina.**

 **Thanks for your reviews, I hope I'm not boring you too much...**

 _._

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 _Sal? Are you there, Sal?_

 _I'm here, Jadey._

 _When are you coming home?_

 _Soon._

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 _Dear Diary_

 _Well, today's the last day. Things are going okay, I think, she's in a pretty good mood, considering. I could tell she'd been crying when I got over there last night, I think the 'Caroline' thing affected her more that she let on. But we did some fun stuff, and we talked, and I told her a few things._

 _Damage limitation, that's what this is. And I don't just mean limiting the damage to my butt, although you can't really blame me. I mean limiting the damage to her._

 _I've seen the picture on the wall, Mr Diary, and I'll never unsee it. I know sometimes I'll wake in the night with it in my head, heart pounding at the injustice of it. Before I saw that, I could convince myself that the Lake was just words, a memory that I didn't share, something from before we met. In some ways I wish it still was._

 _But it puts everything in perspective. I thought all of this was about us. But it isn't. I still feel guilty over the way I treated her, but holy cow, Mr Diary - I'm not the thing she needs to get over. She doesn't see me as the villain in all this. My little reign of terror was just a sideshow, an ordeal she had to go through to find closure for something much bigger, like wearing a cast after you've broken your arm - it's annoying, it itches, and you hate it, but it has to be done. So my job isn't to atone, because she doesn't need that from me. She's never asked that from me. What little payback she thought I was due was lipstick and… whatever else she used to do. I'm not sure I want to think too hard about it, if I'm honest, because I'm pretty sure that wasn't the worst thing I did, so it probably wasn't the worst thing she did, either. But the point is, we're good now. My job is to make things easier for her, smooth off the edges. Try to give her back control of her life. Restore the balance._

 _Because it's all about balance. I remember we did this thing in history class about soft power and hard power, and I realize now that that's the way we work, me and her. That's our balance. She has the hard power, whether she wants to admit it or not - no matter how many times she says she prefers it if I argue with her, or get up in her face, the truth is that she'll almost always win. But that doesn't mean she'll get her own way. Not at all. Because I have power, too. It's different, more subtle, but no less complete. Shall I tell you a secret, Mr Diary?_

 _Jade will do anything for you, anything at all - as long as she thinks she's in control._

 _That's the heart of it, that's what I didn't understand before. Jade would die for me as long as she could claim it was her idea. That's why she could put up with my bullshit - sorry, Mr Diary - for six months without a murmur, because she always felt she was running the show. She said we were using each other but only she knew it, and knowledge is just another kind of power. My mom was the only flaw in her plan, the one thing she couldn't control. My mom and the Club._

 _I'm glad my mom came over. I feel a bit bad about it, but my mom's never worried much about Jade's feelings, or mine for that matter, so I guess it was worth it for Jade's sake. She never has to feel that hanging over her now. I know my mom actually came over to make peace, but it's not the same. I think Jade's a lot like Sally was - she'd rather take it than have it given, so I let her do that. The Club - there's not much I can do about the Club right now, that's kind of an 'ongoing situation', I tried to persuade her to swap tomorrow night, but she wouldn't have it. I've got an awful feeling she's planning something, but to be honest if she turns up with a bucket of gasoline and a box of matches I'll go with it._

 _Cat. That was the other thing. That's what I'm going to do today. Exercise a little soft power. I know Jade thinks she's had her revenge, but revenge isn't what she needs, or what Cat deserves. They were friends once, and I screwed that up. Another thing out of balance. So I'm going to fix it._

 _I like fixing things. Well, not waffle-makers or cars or anything, but putting things right. It would be nice to know whether I'm doing that, sometimes. I guess I'll find out tonight._

 _I'd better go, just got to get my things. You know, I'm going to kind of miss them when they're gone. But at least I'll be able to ride my bike again._

.

.

.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"You know, next time we do this, I'm going to make it rule number one that you never say _'nothing'_ when I ask you a question."

"Next time?"

"Don't try to distract me. What is it?"

"It's just... I want to apologize for something."

Jade turned. "Why? What have you done?"

"Cat."

"You've lost me."

"What happened between you two. It was my fault, and I just want to say I'm sorry, that's all."

"What do you mean? How is it your fault? She deliberately wound me up."

"But only because of me. I started all this, and now you've lost a friend."

"She's not my friend."

"But she _was_ ," Tori said. "And now I've ruined things for you. I'm so sorry." She sighed, dramatically. "I feel kind of terrible."

Jade drove on, face set hard, fingers drumming on the wheel while Tori stared out of her window, apparently lost in remorse. Eventually she cracked.

"Would it help if I apologized?"

"Hmm?"

"To Cat," Jade said, impatiently. "Would you feel _less_ terrible if I apologized to her?"

"Well, I can't really ask you to-"

"Right. Fine. I'll apologize."

"You don't-"

"I _said_ , I'll apologize," she snapped. "But only for you. And you owe me, baby girl."

"Yes, Mistress." Tori turned to look back out of the window, so that Jade couldn't see the little smile of satisfaction on her face. It was almost too easy. _Soft power._

.

.

.

"Cat?"

"Leave me alone."

Cat closed her locker. She looked pale and drawn, as though the last few weeks had been a terrible strain on her, and it dawned on Tori that, of the four of them that had found themselves face to face in the bathroom that first night at the Club, it was _Cat_ that had suffered most from her decision to slap first and ask questions later. It had been her mom's fault for not warning her they'd be there, but Tori had been the one on point, the only one in a position to do anything about it - Cat was no use, she was like a kid in a candy store, and Jade was already under dire threat of a beating from her mom if she stepped out of line. She should have pulled them all out of there the second she clapped eyes on Cat and Hayley - gone home, gone bowling, _anything_ but carry on - but she was still too flushed with her own success to resist showing off, and she'd screwed up. Sub or no sub, it was lunacy to imagine that Jade _wouldn't_ resent being humiliated like that, and Hayley had clearly been none too thrilled at _her_ treatment either, so by the time they belatedly sat down to 'talk', it was already too late – the seeds of discord had been sown, and the whole festering mess had landed, however unfairly, at Cat's door. She'd upset the balance, and now Cat had lost both Hayley _and_ Jade.

Cat was already walking away, Jade unable to make the move, and Tori felt the opportunity slipping away. "Go on," she urged.

Jade sighed. "Cat! Hey, come on. Wait up." They jogged to catch up with her.

"What do you _want_ , Jade?"

"Look, I'm trying to apologize," Jade said. "About what happened the other day. I'm sorry. I should never have done that."

"Apologize?"

"Yeah. You know, I just wanted to-"

"I thought we were _friends,_ Jade," Cat cut her off, bitterly. "I thought you _cared_ about me. Even though you were mean to me, sometimes, even though I know you think I'm stupid, you always looked out for me."

"Oh, come _on,_ Cat," Jade said. "I mean, I know I went too far, and I didn't really-"

"What did I _do_ to you?" Cat's voice was starting to rise. "What did I do that was _so_ bad? A name. Not even an insult, just a name. Because I was upset, and Hayley had left me, and _you_ _thought it was_ _funny_."

"It wasn't about-"

"You thought I deserved it, didn't you? You thought it served me right, just because of what happened at the stupid club." Cat was on the verge of tears. "Well that wasn't _my_ fault, was it?" she said. " _I_ didn't make you go. That was _her_." she pointed at Tori, angrily. "She started it. Why don't you take it out on _Tori_?"

Tori groaned. This wasn't the way it was supposed to go. "Cat…"

"Tori, could you give us a minute?" Jade interrupted.

"But-"

"Please? Could you just… go put my bag in my locker, or something."

Tori hesitated, looking from Cat to Jade, trying to decide if it was safe to leave them alone together, but Jade's voice held no trace of anger, only sorrow, so she nodded mutely and withdrew, heading back to the hall. She wandered over to Jade's locker. She knew full well that she'd be only be sent to retrieve the bag again in a few minutes, but she always felt a little surge of affection that Jade trusted her with access to it, so she opened it up and pushed the bag inside. She was about to close it again when something caught her eye.

The little voice recorder.

She picked it up, and bit her lip. Should she? Technically, Jade had given her permission, in the restaurant that day. _You can listen to it if you want, there's nothing bad on there, not since..._ But whether that permission was an open-ended offer, she wasn't quite sure. She glanced around, but the hall was empty, so she pulled out her earphones.

 _I don't know where to start with this, Sal..._

She heard it again, the terrible sound of Jade in panic on her way back to the hotel, shouting over the roar of the engine; only now she understood what that panic _was_ , that Jade had thought her mom was going to hurt her, that she was willing to come back and submit to _anything_ to stop that happening. She cut it off. She couldn't bear to hear the actual moment of impact - the scream, the sound of Jade's body being flung across the car – so she flicked it on a couple of seconds to the next entry. And there was…

Nothing. No static, no background noise. Just empty silence. There _were_ no other entries.

She unplugged the earphones and carefully replaced the recorder, puzzled. Maybe it had been broken in the crash, and wouldn't record anymore. But Jade had said she was still…

 _She must have another one_. That was it. She'd gotten herself another one. She probably kept it hidden somewhere, away from the prying eyes – well, ears – of nosy girlfriends, she thought ruefully. Satisfied with her explanation, she closed the locker.

She wandered aimlessly around the corridors for a while, trying not to look like she was waiting for anything. Her neck was itching like crazy, and she stuck a finger inside her scarf to ease the collar.

"Hey, Sis," a voice came from behind her. She spun to see Trina, sporting a broad grin.

"Trina. Hey."

"I see she finally got you, then."

"What?"

Trina nodded towards the sliver of leather visible beneath the fabric. "Pretty brave wearing it at school."

Tori's face began to burn. "It's not what you think," she said quickly, adjusting the scarf. "I'm just-"

"Don't even bother with the _'it's for a play'_ crap," Trina said. "It might work on the numbskulls _you_ hang out with, but I'm your sister. I know what goes on behind closed doors."

"Trina!"

"Well, don't I?"

Tori's shoulders sagged. "Yeah."

"So," said Trina. "How long has this been going on?"

"It's only for a week," Tori sighed. "We're just trying it out. Today's my last day."

"That's what _you_ think."

"Hey!"

"Just saying."

"If you must know, it was my idea. She didn't really want to do it."

"Really? Wow." Trina seemed genuinely surprised. "So how's it going?"

"Well-"

"Not in detail, Tori. I've just eaten."

"It's been a lot of fun."

"No... problems?"

"Problems?"

"You know what I mean." She tapped a finger on the side of her head.

The Lake. Tori had forgotten she'd broken Jade's confidence. "No," she said, guiltily. "No problems."

"Well, I take my hat off to you, Tori, you're a braver girl than I thought. She any good?"

"Good? Er, yeah. She's great. _Really_ great, I mean she-"

"Took a while with Danny. _He_ didn't really get it until I tied him to the bed and showed him how it was done."

"You-"

"And then a couple of months later it turned out he kind of _liked_ that, so..." Trina shrugged. "Now he has his own safeword. 'Six-pack'. Hah! He wishes."

Tori struggled for a moment to take this in. "So, what... you're a domme, now?"

Trina laughed. "Oh, man," she said, "you guys are so cute. You do realize that that isn't an actual _thing_ in the real world, right? No matter what mom says. It's not a title, people aren't going to salute you in the street. Nobody else gives a fuck. You go round telling people you're 'a domme', all you're going to get are funny looks and a seat to yourself on the bus. Me and Danny, I like to think of us more as… adventurers."

"Yes, but-"

"And even if I _was_ your kind of domme, even if I were St Domina of Sybius, Our Lady of the Anal Apocalypse, and we were both sat in the middle of your dumbass club _right_ _now_ , it wouldn't make any difference, you know why? Because you, happily for both of us, are not my sub. And I'm not yours either, no thanks to mom," she added, pulling a face.

"What?"

"You don't want to know."

"She... Ewww!"

"Never eavesdrop on mom when she's been drinking, Tori, trust me. It warps you for life. Anyway, the point is, whatever you and the Black Death get up to in your spare time, it's nothing to do with me, and vice versa. Where is she, anyway?"

"Mmm?" Tori was still thanking whatever gods were available that her mom had sobered up in time. "Oh. Talking to Cat."

"Talking?"

"Apologizing."

"Wow, you really _have_ got her under the thumb. So," Trina said. "Are we going to do the begging bit now, or what?"

"The..?"

This is the bit where you beg me not to tell mom, isn't it? Where you offer me all your worldly goods not to shatter her world by telling her how badly you've let her down, how you've ruined her dreams of you being the new Mistress Fairytits of the Spanky Club by joining the dark side."

"Trina!"

"I'm kidding."

"Good."

"Cash is fine."

I'm not giving you money!" Tori said. "Anyway, she already knows."

Trina's eyes widened. "She knows?"

Tori sighed, and began to relate the events of the previous night, while Trina's expression changed to from one of bemusement to outright astonishment. "...and then she told me to straighten my back, and left," Tori said.

"Oh. My. God." Trina clapped her hands over her mouth in delight.

"Yeah. And the weird thing was, she'd actually come over to-"

"Sis!" Trina reached out and pulled Tori into a suffocating and entirely unexpected hug. "I have never, _ever_ been more proud of you than I am right now."

"Um, thanks," Tori mumbled from somewhere near the older girl's cleavage. "Is that saying much?"

"Not really," Trina admitted, "but you've got to start somewhere."

"Right." Tori finally extricated herself from the hug, now slightly dishevelled, only to find her face squashed tight between Trina's hands. "Tori?"

"Yush?" she managed.

"You know I love you, right? You're my little sister, and I love you."

"Em shenshing a bush?"

"What? No, there's no 'but'. I love you, and I want you to be happy. And I know I teased you about the whole Jade thing, but if she makes you happy then you go for it. If anyone can fix the little weirdo, you can." Trina released her grip, and Tori's feature slowly returned to normal. "Right, gotta go. Someone somewhere is missing out on my fabulousness." She punched Tori on the arm. "See you later."

"Later," Tori murmured as she watched her go. She remembered something. "Trina?" she called after her.

"Yeah?"

"Those lipsticks."

"What about 'em?"

"I know I said you could have them, but they're all pretty... worn out. How about I get you some new ones? Next week, maybe."

"Aww, Sis! You don't have to do that."

"Well, what are sisters for. I'll see you at home."

Trina disappeared out of the door with a shimmy and a wave, and Tori leaned back against the locker. Talking to Trina was like a box of chocolates, or a gangbang in an STD clinic. You never knew what you were going to get. She felt strangely elated by the thought of Trina at large in the shadow world, stomping through it in her ten-inch heels, recklessly taking whatever she wanted from either side of the fence without a second thought. She was the antithesis of Jade, in a way. Jade had played both sides of the game with a kind of grim resolution, like a method actress determined to shine in a play that she knows is dreadful - she knew way too much about how it worked to really take any pleasure in it, to lose herself in the fantasy, so her only pleasure was in subverting the rules, in improvising the soliloquy that lifts it from the mundane to the memorable. Trina, on the other hand, didn't care about any of that – to her the entire lifestyle, the thing that Tori and her mom had spent half their lives fretting about and obsessing over, was just a toy in a box, something to be picked up and played with when you wanted it, kicked under the sofa when you were done and it was time to go out for dinner like adults. God knows what they'd have made of 'Mistress' Trina at the Club. It'd be time to loosen the corsets and break out the smelling salts.

 _And what are you, Tori? Where do you fit in? Where will you stand when the hammer falls?_

She didn't know. And that in itself felt good.

Outlaws. She smiled. We're outlaws. The ones that don't quite fit. She should go find Jade.

.

.

.

There was silence. She peered around the corner to see a sight that brought a slight lump in her throat. Cat stood, arms wrapped tightly around Jade, eyes closed, smiling, as though she was never going to let go again. And there was Jade, hugging her awkwardly, chin resting on the top of her head. She caught sight of Tori, and rolled her eyes, as if to say, _now look what you've done_. Tori breathed a sigh of relief, and leaned against the door frame, overcome by a sense of things being put right, of order restored. The world had turned the right way up again. At least for now.

.

.

.

"So is everything okay, now?"

"Hmmm?" They sat in the car, heading over to Tori's house.

"You and Cat."

"Oh. Yeah. We're good. We talked about stuff. I told her why I don't like being called 'Jadey', for one thing."

"Right." Tori fidgeted for a moment. "And… are you going to tell me?"

Jade paused. "You don't know?"

"Well, no, not really. I mean, if it's a secret…"

"No, it's not a secret. It's just…" She paused. "It's what Sally used to call me, that's all. It was kind of her pet name for me."

"And you didn't like it?"

"I liked it a lot. It's just that it was a private thing. She used to use it when I was… upset. To comfort me."

 _After the Lake._ "I'm sorry," Tori said. "I didn't realize. I'd have stopped her if I'd known."

"Not her fault, or yours," Jade said. "I shouldn't make such a big deal out of it. I'm not a kid anymore. I just… miss it, sometimes, and it makes me kind of edgy to hear it from someone else."

"Did you _tell_ her about Sally?"

"You mean, did I tell her about the Lake?"

"About any of it. The Lake, the Club, us doing this."

"God, no," Jade said. "I just said she was a friend from way back that I'd lost touch with. I don't need a traumatized Cat, she's got enough to deal with as it is."

"What do you mean?"

"Hayley."

"What about her?"

"All this. It was all Hayley's idea. She wanted to try this stuff out, and for some reason she chose Cat. God knows why. Maybe she didn't want her other friends to know. Maybe she thought Cat would be easy to manipulate, or that she wouldn't tell anyone, I don't know. But anyway, that's what she did. Kept her away from us, put her in a pretty dress, and sold her a line of bullshit about how she was secretly 'dominant', it was just no one else could see it. Which was hardly surprising."

"So what happened?"

"It never occurred to her that Cat would actually _believe_ it. She doesn't know her like we do, I mean, Cat has trouble differentiating between fantasy and reality at the best of times. It was only after the whole Club thing came up, and Cat started demanding this and that, getting weirder and weirder, that Hayley got cold feet. She'd only wanted a little bit of fun, but she'd done such a good job of convincing Cat she was super-domme that she couldn't get through to her when she wanted to stop. There's no wonder she bailed."

"Poor Cat."

"I mean, how can anyone be so devious?"

They exchanged looks. Jade flushed slightly. "Sorry," she said.

"Hmm." Tori thought for a minute. "Wait a minute," she said, "I thought Cat's _mom_ got her into this? I remember her talking about it the first night."

There was no answer. "Jade?"

"Maybe she did," Jade said, quietly, "and maybe she didn't."

"What do you mean?"

"Have you ever actually _met_ Cat's mom?"

"Well, no, she wasn't at the Club."

"And didn't you wonder why?"

"Not really," Tori said. "I thought maybe she was busy."

"Too busy to go to her own daughter's 'debut'? To watch her take her first, tentative steps into this brave new world?"

"Well..."

Jade sighed. "I don't know whether I should tell you this, Tori, but... the condition that Cat's brother suffers from is genetic."

"Genetic?"

"Hereditary. On her mother's side."

Tori paused, while this sank in. "You mean..."

"Haven't you noticed Cat seems to get more and more 'spacey' as time goes on?" Jade said. "Cat doesn't even _live_ with her mom, Tori. She lives with Nona, and _she's_ none too sharp, either. Her parents moved away, supposedly to get 'special' treatment for her brother, but I suspect he wasn't the only one who needed it."

"Oh, God."

"Yeah. Now I'm not saying that Cat's mom _isn't_ a member of a shadowy secret society hell-bent on world domination through excessive corsetry and terrible diction," Jade said, "I'm just saying it's pretty unlikely."

"You think she was lying?"

"I don't know. I really don't. The Club runs on delusions, Tori, individual and mutual. It fosters them. What's real and what isn't is open to debate. All I'm saying is that once Cat gets an idea into her head, it's kind of hard to shift. And if Cat's convinced herself her mom's a domme because _she_ wants to be one, then..."

"But _my_ mom said it was true! She was the one who _told_ me she was a member."

"Yeah. Well, that's pretty convenient, isn't it?"

"Convenient?"

"Your mom _wanted_ you to believe it."

"Why?"

"Why?" Jade laughed. "So that you wouldn't find it weird that you were stood in the middle of a bondage club with your own _mother,_ Tori, that's why _._ It suited her for you to think that you weren't the only one, that all over L.A. respectable women were procuring young girls for their daughters, taking them to clubs, arranging it all between them like so many middle-aged pimps. That it was perfectly normal behavior for her to be involved. I bet she leaned on good old Mr. Dimmesdale, and as soon as she found out a little red-haired girl was buying fetish gear like it was going out of fashion, she was straight over to Nona's, mixing it up, messing with her head. 'Your mom would be so proud of you, Cat. Why don't you join our little club?'"

"No!"

"Who actually sponsored Cat's membership?"

"I don't know."

"I'll bet it was your mom."

"But she.. she wouldn't do that, would she?"

"Why not? She wasn't above stealing my bank details and social security number for her pals at the Club."

"But..."

"Look, I could be wrong. Maybe it _is_ all true. Maybe Cat's well-known inability to keep a secret for more than three seconds is all just a sham. I'm just saying, don't take everything your mom says as gospel. Plus, even if she did drag Cat into it, it was for only your benefit."

"What, so I wouldn't feel weird? Well _that's_ gone out the window."

"So you'd have a _friend,"_ Jade said. "It's almost sweet, really. She fixed it for Cat to go so you'd have someone to talk to, someone your own age."

"But I'd have you."

"Yes, but I'm not _allowed_ to be your friend in there, am I? I've just got to stand around, bored out of my skull, going 'Yes, Mistress, no Mistress' the whole time and waiting for you to hit me."

"That was one time!"

"Ahem."

"Well, all right, three times, but-"

"The point is, she wanted you to feel comfortable, to be happy. And that's quite thoughtful. If you don't count the collateral damage to everyone else involved. So I'd let this particular dog lie. Cat's out of the game, and that's for the best."

Tori sighed. "You know, next time I'm tempted to ask _'is everything okay'_ , I'm just going to shut up."

"There's something else."

"Oh, God. What now?"

Jade seemed to wrestle with her conscience. "I gave her Hayley's new number," she said, finally.

"You... how did you get that?"

"I had to rattle a few cages this morning, but somebody was bound to have it."

"But why?"

"It's just... I got the feeling that there genuinely _was_ something between them, you know? I don't think Hayley would have spent so much time with her, gone quite so far as she did, if she'd really just been using her. The way Cat talked about it, once we'd actually _reached_ planet Earth, she made it sound like Hayley would have stayed if she'd seen sense." She turned to Tori, uncertainty etched on her face for the first time. "Did I do wrong?"

"Well, " Tori said, carefully, "I mean it's a nice sentiment and everything, but what's going to happen if Hayley just hangs up on her, or tells her to go to hell? How's she going to feel then?"

"Yeah, that's not going to happen."

"How do you know?"

"Because," Jade said, "as soon as I got the number, I left Hayley a voicemail telling her that if Cat called and she didn't at least _listen_ to what she had to say, I was going to come round and stab her in the face."

"Jade!"

"Or words to that effect," she went on, unconcerned. "But the point is, at least they'll talk. And hopefully it'll give them a chance to come to some kind of understanding, even if it's just closure on what happened."

"But you can't just..." Tori stared at her for a moment, and laughed. "Unbelievable."

"What?"

"Couple's counselling, Jade West style."

"What can I say?" Jade grinned. "I'm just an incurable romantic."

"Aren't you just."

"And thank you."

"Me? For what?"

"Making me apologize."

"I didn't _make_ you apologize."

"Yeah, you did. And you were right. You're a smart cookie, Vega."

"Really? Thanks."

"So as a reward, I'm not going to click you for meddling."

"Meddling's not a-"

"Come on, let's go home."

.

.

.

The minutes ticked silently by, Tori sneaking surreptitious glances at the clock. Nearly seven. At seven o'clock it was over, but first there was the matter of her punishment...

Jade was less concerned with _tonight_ , and more concerned with _tomorrow_ night, when they passed through the oak door into the bowels of the Diamond Club, for what she sincerely hoped was the last time, her offer to Tori notwithstanding. She heard the other girl clear her throat to attract her attention, and looked up at the clock. It was time. _Just get through this…_

"On your feet."

Tori sprang to attention.

"Okay." Jade moved over to her. "Let's see how you did, subby girl." She took out the tally counter and looked at it in surprise, as though she didn't already know what it read. "Well," she said, shielding it from Tori's inquisitive gaze. "Well, well, well." She whistled. "Wow."

She heard Tori give a little groan, and decided to put her out of her misery. "Twenty six," she said, showing her the counter. She watched as Tori tried to mentally match that with her own memory. "You got most of those in the first couple of days."

Clearly Tori thought she'd done better than that, but she nodded, and then, to Jade's surprise, reached out and pressed the button on the tally counter herself.

"What was that for?"

"I did something," Tori said. "When you weren't here. Last week. I broke a rule."

"Tori..."

"It wasn't an accident. I knew I was doing it."

Jade sighed. "Okay, if that's the way you want it. Go get the paddle."

"Yes, mistress." Tori crossed to the drawer and retrieved the paddle, which seemed twice as big and three times as heavy as it did a week ago. She turned, and offered it to Jade, flat on the palms of her hands.

"Your slave begs your correction, Mistress," she said quietly, dropping her gaze to the floor. "She needs to be disciplined."

Jade tried not to let the distaste show on her face. This was exactly the thing she hated most about it, this kind of talk, and she'd hoped to keep it less formal, but something about Tori's tone suggested she _wanted_ it that way to cover her nervousness. Was she frightened? She toyed briefly with the idea of pulling out another paddle, and challenging Tori to a sword fight instead, but for better or for worse they were down this path now. Besides, there was still a way out. She took the paddle, turning it over a few times in her hand, inspecting it. Then she placed the tip gently under Tori's chin, lifted her face to meet her own, and looked her in the eye.

"Do you like to _gamble_ , Tori?"

.

.

.


	45. Chapter 45 - Letter 1

_._

 _._

 _._

 _Dear Holly_

 _By the time you read this we will already have met, for the first time in over twenty years. I don't know what that meeting will hold for us, but there are things that I want to say with a clear head, things that need to be said in less hectic circumstances._

 _There isn't a day goes by, Holly, that I don't regret what happened that night. You hurt me, but it was always in my power to forgive that hurt, to reach out and heal the rift between us. We were both to blame in a way - we were wild, and young, and we spurred each other on, and something was bound to give eventually. Another night and it could just as easily have been me that went too far._

 _But I didn't reach out. I let anger overcome me, and then as time went on it became easier to convince myself that you forgot who I was that night, and if I tried hard enough, I could forget you, too. It took many years for me to realize what a futile task I'd set myself. I could never do that._

 _Recently I've taken up the 'art' again, as you used to put it, and I've acquired a sub. Or should I say she's acquired me. I've never met anyone like her, Holly, she has a fire in her that comes from somewhere else. It frightens me, sometimes. She's not 'submissive' in any way the 'By-the-book Brigade' would approve of - you remember we used to call them that, Holly? All those uptight, funny little women that your mom used to know, that used to sit in your house and talk - such endless talk - about the rules, and the discipline, and the 'what's to be done with an uppity sub?' - and we'd sit up in your bedroom and mock them, and we swore an oath that we'd never turn out like that, that we'd never lose sight of the adventure._

 _Sally has something of that about her. Of course she tries, she plays her part, but I know it's only for me. And every now and then, out of the corner of my eye, I see the mask slip, catch the wicked gleam in her eye. She has secrets, I know. I sometimes wish she'd open up to me. There's nothing between us, Holly, not like that, but I do care for her. For all her bravado, I feel she's a little lost._

 _Actually, by the time you read this, you'll have met her too - I plan to bring her to the club when we visit. The Club! How exciting! I'd heard of it, of course, but I never dreamed that you'd actually be running it. I'm so proud of you. I can't wait to see what kind of place it is, I'm sure in your hands it'll be something special._

 _How I wish that could have been us, Holly, that I could have been there with you. We'd have worked so well together, you and I, but sadly it wasn't to be. Still, maybe you could find a place for me in your new enterprise. My exotic dancing days are past, I'm afraid, but I could run to a little light waitressing, or demonstrations - you always admired my rope work, I remember. I can still picture you in my best Kinbaku._

 _There is something else, Holly, and I come to it with a heavy heart. Enclosed with this letter is another, to be opened later. How much later I can't say. I can only ask you to forgive me for putting this burden on you, handing you this responsibility after so long, but you're the only one I can trust. That's why I'm writing this now, before we meet, because I might not be able to bring myself to tell you face to face._

 _Because I know deep down that what I'm doing is wrong, Holly, and it can't go on much longer. What I found out a few weeks ago changes everything. I hope that what's in the other letter may help to make amends, someday, and I beg you to do the right thing. She deserves that._

 _So farewell, Holly, until we meet - in a strange way this is a message from the past to the future. I hope you're reading this and thinking back fondly to our reunion. I like to think it went well. Maybe I'm there with you now and we're reading this together, tucked up in bed like the old days, and I'm blushing with embarrassment as you read it out loud, like you once did with my awful love letters. Who knows. But wherever you are, wherever I am, I wish you well, and I remain, as always -_

 _Totus Tuus_

 _Caroline_

 _x_


	46. Chapter 46 - The Ace of Spades

**Hi. Well, what do you know, it's my birthday today. And instead of kicking back on my private yacht and taking it easy, I'm slaving away (no pun intended) to bring you more of this thing. I know, I'm a saint. Anyway, feel free to fav, follow or review, or if you're feeling particularly generous, all three ;)**

 **Okay, shameless emotional blackmail over.** **Title and opening lyrics are from 'Ace of Spades', by Motorhead. RIP, Lemmy.** **Note: I've now updated chapter 43 to fix a continuity error, I was just trying to make sure you were all paying attention. Some of this will be on the test.**

 _._

 _You know I'm born to lose, and gambling's for fools…_

 _But that's the way I like it, baby, I don't want to live forever…_

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _"Mom?"_

 _"I'm busy."_

 _The woman pushed the text books aside, and rubbed her eyes, wearily. That would do for now. She hadn't been able to face going back to college all those years ago, not after her ordeal, but she'd learned enough, and a little research brought it back. She reached for the phone._

 _"Hello?"_

 _"It's me. Have you decided?"_

 _"I don't know. It's a lot of money."_

 _"Think about it, Holly. This is who you are. It's in your blood. What better way to express it? We'll own the building, and everything that comes with it. We'll be in control. Don't you want that?"_

 _"I'm risking everything."_

 _"And you'll be rewarded. They will come. Isn't that worth the risk?"_

 _"But I have responsibilities. A family."_

 _"I have a daughter, too. I'm doing this for her."_

 _"But-"_

 _"Life's a gamble, Holly. Otherwise what's the point?"_

 _She put the phone down without waiting for a response, and hesitated. She ought to feel grateful to Holly, in a way - she'd saved her life, after all, and if things had been different they might even have been friends. But it was too late for friends. Friends were unreliable, unpredictable. She didn't need friends. What she needed was control._

 _She looked down at the pad by the telephone, and smiled at the doodle that had sprung unbidden from her pen. Two ornate, interlocking 'T's. Totus Tuus._

 _Thank you, Holly. That will do nicely._

.

.

.

"Gamble?" Tori echoed. "I don't understand."

"I'm going to give you a choice," Jade said. You can either take your punishment as it is, or we can play for it. Double or quits."

"Play for it?"

Jade produced a pack of playing cards and placed them on the bed, face down. "We draw one card each," she said. "Highest card wins. If I win, you get double what it says on the counter. If you win, your slate's wiped. You don't get anything."

Tori hesitated. "And what if they're the same?"

"What?"

"What if, say, we both draw a five, or something?"

This had never occurred to Jade, for reasons that were obvious only to her. "Then we draw again. And we keep going until one of us wins. Do you accept?"

Tori stared at the cards. "If that's what you want, Mistress," she said.

"What? No, no, no," Jade said. "That's not the point. _You_ have to choose. Don't worry about what I want - if you don't want to do it, then I don't _want_ you to do it. It's a totally free choice. Think of it as thirty seconds off the clock."

"Thirty seconds?"

"That's how long you have to decide. Go."

Jade watched her carefully. She suspected Tori was uneasy about this, and this was where she'd find out. If Tori took the bet, it meant that she was willing to take the chance, however small, of getting away without being punished, which meant that she didn't really want it. If it went against her, she could always use the safeword anyway, and they'd probably never get to the doubled figure - she'd feel no shame in conceding as soon as she felt she'd taken what was owed. If she stuck with the original agreement, on the other hand, she wanted to play it straight down the line, trust Jade to do the right thing. She waited.

.

.

.

Tori's eyes flickered from the paddle, to the cards, to the clock, and back again. What did Jade want? Did Jade really _want_ to double her punishment? That was the way she'd put it. ' _If I win..._ '. She bit her lip. She should turn it down. Twenty-seven wasn't so bad. Although it was more than she'd ever given Jade. The double-edged nature of the terms suddenly became clear to her. Yes, she was only getting one stroke for each misdemeanor where Jade would had have ten or more, but she was going to get them _all at once_. All her chickens come home to roost in one great feathery cataclysm. But then, there was always the safeword. _Forgotten_. She wondered if Jade would take any satisfaction in forcing her to use it, to acknowledge the one crime that a domme should never commit. The seconds passed.

.

.

.

"I'll take it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Yes..?"

"Yes, Mistress."

"Good. I'll draw first. How long have we got?"

Tori turned to the clock. "Ten minutes." She looked back to find that Jade had already taken a card, and it occurred to her that the other girl could easily see the clock herself. A shiver ran through her. Surely Jade wasn't going to cheat? Even if she actually _wanted_ to hand out more punishment than they agreed, that was a step too far. But she couldn't call her out on it, because if she was wrong, all the trust they'd built up would come crashing down again. "What did you get?" she said, her throat dry.

Jade looked at her for a moment, and then flipped her card over. "The Queen of Hearts," she said. "Your turn."

Tori felt a heavy pall fall over her. A queen. There wasn't much chance of beating _that_ , the odds were... She did some mental arithmetic, and then gave up. She had no idea, but they weren't good. Her hand hovered over the deck, and Jade helpfully fanned the pack slightly. She took a deep breath, and drew.

"Well?"

Tori paused, then flipped it over. It took a few seconds for her brain to register what she was looking at.

 _The Ace of Spades._

She'd won.

"Wow!" Jade said, after a moment. "How about that? I guess it's your lucky day." She swept up the pack into her hand, and rose to her feet. "Well I guess that's it," she said, cheerfully. "Your slavery is over, you're free to go." She beamed. "You are... _emancipated_." She held her arms wide, expectantly.

But Tori didn't move. Jade's smile faded, and she let her arms drop to her sides. "I'm sorry, Tori," she said, quietly. "I tried to make it fun for you. Maybe that wasn't what you wanted."

"It was."

"Then why-"

"Show me the cards."

"What cards?"

"What do you mean, what cards? The _cards_."

"They're just cards, Tori, there's nothing-"

Tori made a snatch for them just as Jade tried to whip them away, and they scattered, tumbling to the floor. Tori stared at them in disbelief. Jade had cheated, all right. Just not in the way she'd thought.

 _Every_ card was the Ace of Spades.

She looked back accusingly at Jade, whose face was burning red. "I got them from a magic store," she muttered, looking at her feet. "Last week."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't want to hurt you, that's why!"

"So you thought you'd just trick me instead?"

"I thought you'd be pleased!"

"Pleased? Why would I be pleased?"

"Because you're not getting your ass whupped!" Jade said, exasperated. "That's why you chose the bet, isn't it?"

"I chose it because I thought it was what you wanted! I was still willing to take the consequences if I'd lost! I didn't realize you were going to… cheat me out of it."

" _Cheat_ you?"

"What was the point, Jade?" Tori was starting to get angry. "What was it all _for_? I tried my very best this week, and maybe I wasn't the greatest sub in the world, and maybe you thought I was useless, but I really _tried_. And all of that means nothing if you never intended to punish me at _all_."

"All of it means nothing anyway!" Jade said. "All this, it's just a joke, a game. You're talking about it as if it's real! That was always your problem," she added, sullenly.

"My problem?" Tori's eyebrows rocketed up. "Oh, I see. _That's_ what it's all about is it? Right, fine. The deal's off."

"What?"

"We're not going tomorrow night."

"You can't do that!"

"Yes I can. You didn't keep your end of the bargain."

"But I... Jesus, Tori, this is ridiculous."

"I earned that punishment, Jade!"

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"

"It's mine!"

"How is it that, when you were the domme, it was all about _you_ , and what you wanted. I never got a look in. And now I'm the domme, well, surprise, surprise - it's _still_ all about you!"

"It wasn't about me that night you came over with the whip, though, was it?" Tori fumed. "Do you think _I_ wanted that? Do you think I wanted to beat you black and blue, feel your blood on my face, see you look at me like you wanted to kill me? No! I didn't want to do that! But I did it, because _you_ said that's what you needed!"

"But you don't need _this_!"

"Well maybe I do!"

"Why?"

"Because I need to know you can do it!" Tori yelled, flinging her hands in the air in frustration.

"What?" Jade stared at her. "What the _hell_ is that supposed to mean?"

Tori should have stopped there. But she didn't. "Or maybe you _can't_ do it!" she ranted. "Maybe it's too fucking _difficult_ for you! I mean, it's only hitting someone with a stick, Jade, that's pretty much the first thing we learned when we came down from the trees. It's practically the bedrock of human civilization. But _ohhh_ no, Jade West can't do it."

"Tori..." It was a low growl.

"Or is it just because I _want_ it, hmm?" Tori went on, oblivious. "Because I'm _asking_ you to do it? Is that it? Is it that you only get off on hurting people who _don't_ want to be hurt, like Cat, and Robbie?" _Don't say it, don't say it, don't-_ "Maybe you _deserved_ to be punished for that."

There was a freezing silence, and she saw Jade's nostrils flare, her lips slowly set into a tight line, and she realized she'd gone too far. "Jade-"

"On the bed."

"I didn't-"

"On the bed. _Now_."

"But-"

"No talking!"

Tori paused. She should say no. She'd pushed it too far. And yet somewhere inside, she knew she couldn't. Not if she needed to know. With a terrible sense of foreboding, she made her way over to the bed and climbed on to it.

"Face down. Spread 'em."

She did as instructed, and Jade began to attach the cuffs to her hands and feet, yanking them unnecessarily roughly into position. "Jade, I really didn't-"

"I said, no talking!" Jade brought the paddle down hard onto the pillow next to Tori's face. "The next sound you make, Tori Vega," she snapped, "had better be either the safeword or 'Thank you, Mistress', or I swear to God I'll flip you over and we'll do this face up."

Tori blanched. She still remembered the sting of the lash between her legs when Jade had been teasing her, wanting her to enjoy it. The thought of Jade's fury unleashed down there was terrifying. She nodded.

"Good." Jade continued around the bed, making the bonds tight, and stood back. Tori could hear the sound of her heavy breathing slow down, become more measured. But still the next thing she said surprised her.

"Do you feel comfortable?" There was an oddly stilted intonation to it, as though the words came from somewhere else. She nodded.

"Do you feel safe?"

Again, the feeling that this was part of a well-worn ritual. She hesitated. Did she feel safe? Maybe that wasn't the question. Did she _want_ to feel safe? She nodded.

"Then we'll begin."

.

.

.

Jade rolled up her sleeves and gripped the paddle. _Concentrate, West. Concentrate_. She's only riling you up, she doesn't mean it. You can get through this, but you've got to make it feel _real_. She's challenged you to do it, so you've got to do it right. She licked her lips. "Bet's off," she said. "We'll stick with what's on the counter." She drew her arm back.

 _One_.

Yes. That was good. Just the right balance. _She flinched, but she didn't squeal._ Hell, she might even enjoy this.

 _Two._

Don't try and be clever. Just square on the ass.

 _Three._

A strange irony, this inversion of position. What wouldn't you have given six months ago…

 _Four._

Oh, no. Now is _not_ the time. Don't think about it.

 _Five._

Don't think about how many times you laid here, tied to this bed in tears, biting your lip to keep from crying out.

 _Six._

Don't think about the look on her face when she thought you were broken.

 _Seven._

Don't think about that evil little smile when she watched you suffer.

 _Eight._

Don't think about Cat.

 _Nine._

Don't think about Robbie.

 _Ten._

Don't think about the Club.

 _Eleven._

Don't think about Holly.

 _Twelve._

Don't think about the Lake. For _Christ's_ sake don't think about the Lake.

 _Thirteen._

There was a grunt of pain from the bed. Fuck, that was _way_ too hard. Focus, damn it. Keep it together.

 _Fourteen._

 _Fifteen._

Again, a muffled cry. The air in the room felt thick, compressed. She found herself struggling to breath.

 _Sixteen._

 _Seventeen._

Her arm no longer seemed to be part of her, but a thick, unwieldy stump. She watched in despair as it moved, back and forth, out of her control.

 _Eighteen._

Don't let her out, don't let her out. Please, God, don't let her hurt Tori.

 _Nineteen._

No. This wasn't going to happen. This couldn't happen. You need to get control back. _Now_.

 _Twenty._

Just think about her. Just think about what she's _doing,_ not what she _did_.

 _Twenty-one_.

Just think about what she's given up for you. She could have walked away, blackmailed you, made your life a misery forever, but she didn't.

 _Twenty-two._

Over and over again, she's taken everything she had and thrown it at your feet to try and make it up to you.

 _Twenty-three._

She turned against her family, broke into the Club, put herself at your mercy.

 _Twenty-four._

She did it all for you, Jade. For you. Just think about her.

 _Twenty-five._

Just her.

 _Twenty-six._

Just think about _her_ , Jade, just think about how much you _love_ her, just think about the _beach_ and the _leaves_ and the _sun_ and the _moon_ and the _long brown hair whipped by the wind and those sad brown eyes and it's_ _her it's her it's Tori and she saying and she saying and she's saying..._

 _...I can save you._

And suddenly all was silence but the ticking of the clock, as she stood, paddle held limply by her side, staring sightlessly into the distance. From the bed, she heard a single word, barely a whisper.

"Forgotten."

Forgotten. She blinked. The safeword. Fuck. "Oh, God, Tori," she flung the paddle aside and started fumbling at the restraints, fingers numb and unfamiliar. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Christ, talk to me."

"I'm fine," Tori said, easing herself onto her back, rubbing at her wrists. "Honestly. It wasn't because you hurt me, it was just you were... somewhere else."

Jade unfastened the last ankle and drew her into a tight embrace. "I'm sorry," she said. "I'm so sorry. I lost my concentration, I didn't mean to- "

"It's okay, really."

"No it isn't!" she said. "Jesus, Tori, the one thing you should expect from me when we're doing this is my actual fucking attention!"

"Yes, well," Tori said, uncomfortably. "The less said about that the better. At lest you weren't thinking about shoes." She paused. "You _weren't_ thinking about shoes, were you?"

Jade choked out a laugh of disbelief. "No, Tori. I can pretty safely say I wasn't thinking about shoes."

"Well that's okay, then."

"Are you really all right?"

"Yes. Really. A couple of them were... a little harder than I was expecting, but..."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that. It stings, but it's probably no worse than I gave you. And it's done now."

Jade pulled her close again, kissing the top of her head as she blinked away angry tears. Tori leaned in closer.

"Can I ask you something?" she said, quietly.

Jade nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

"How hard was it?"

"What do you mean?"

"To keep control? Be honest with me."

"I-"

"It was difficult wasn't it? Even though you love me, it was difficult to hold back."

"Please don't, Tori."

"I'm not upset with you, or trying to make you feel bad." She lifted a hand to stroke the other girl's cheek. "You've been through a lot, Jade. You've got a lot of anger built up in there. Maybe it's not all directed at me, but it's there all the same," she said. "And the fact that you didn't take it out on me, that you _couldn't_ even after I made you mad, makes me respect you more."

Jade paused, and gave a little, bitter laugh. "Jesus, Tori," she said, "what kind of a world have we made for ourselves?"

"What do you mean?"

"In the real world, the fact that I managed not to hurt you shouldn't make you _respect_ me," she said. "You're my girlfriend, I love you. It should be absolutely fucking unthinkable that I'd even _want_ to hurt you, not some kind of added bonus that I didn't."

"Well, maybe," Tori said. "But we're not really living in the real world, are we?"

"I guess not."

There was silence for a moment. "So what now?" Tori said, picking at the bed sheet.

"Now?" Jade said. "I don't know. Is the deal still on?" Tori nodded. "Then I guess we go to the Club tomorrow night, as equals. For the first time."

Tori burrowed deeper into Jade's embrace. "I wish we didn't have to."

"I know," Jade sighed. "And so do I. God knows I'd rather do anything but go. But we've both been through worse than anything they can throw at us. Just stay strong, and it'll be over."

Tori squeezed her leg. "Okay."

"Oh, there's something else," Jade said, suddenly. She leaned across to her bag. "I've got something for you."

Tori brightened. "What?"

"Don't get excited. It's just... I was going to give you this back when we were done this week."

She opened her hand, and in her palm was the little brass compass. "Like I said, it's nothing to get excited about. But I still want you to have it."

"Jade..."

"Please?"

Tori took it, hesitantly, afraid to ask the question, so Jade answered it for her. "It still means the same, Tori. Anything. One thing."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"I don't really deserve it."

"I think you do. I'd never give this to anyone else. Ever."

"I don't know if I could use it."

"Doesn't matter. It's enough for me to know it's there."

"For you?"

"It'll keep me grounded," Jade shrugged. "Knowing that whatever I do, I can always be called on it. By you. After all, what are we to the world, Tori, if not the sum of the promises we keep?"

Tori smiled and closed her hand on the compass, hugging it to her as she snuggled closer. And finally they drifted off to sleep, exhausted, surrounded by playing cards.

Jade and Tori. The Ace of Spades and the Queen of Hearts.

A tough hand to beat.

.

.

.

.

.

 **So sub week is finally over, Tori has the compass, and now it's time to find out what the Diamond Club has in store for them…**


	47. Chapter 47 - That Thing You Do

**Well, it's that time again, when you have to stop enjoying yourselves and read some more of this. Sorry. Anyway, one last bit of fun for the girls, and then we're off to the Club, I promise - we almost get in the car this time, so I'm pretty sure we'll get there next chapter. Unless there's an accident, or they get a flat.**

.

.

.

Jade was early. Tori was still in her robe, contemplating an hour of showering when the girl knocked at her bedroom door. That in itself was a surprise, because she never knocked. Tori opened the door.

"Hey," she said. "You're early."

"Um."

"I mean, not that I'm not pleased to see you, obviously, but..."

"Well, I just thought there was no point hanging around, you know?" Jade said. She fiddled with the strap on her bag. "So I thought, I'll just go on over there now, and see what Tori's up to."

"Actually I was just about to... are you nervous about something?"

"What, me? No."

"Jade..."

"Okay, maybe a little. I've been thinking about this all day. That's kind of why I'm early."

Tori waited.

"I thought maybe we could... take our mind of things," Jade went on. "You know. Distract ourselves." Jade looked distinctly shifty by this point.

"Distract our... _ohhhh_." Tori's eyes lit up as she grasped Jade's meaning. She began loosening her robe. "Your wish is my command, Mistress." She wiggled her eyebrows, seductively.

"Yeah. Well," Jade said, her attention now focussed entirely on her fingernails, a blush rising in her cheeks. "The thing is, I wondered if, maybe, you might want to... I mean, not for old time's sake, obviously," she said, hastily, "but just... I thought it might help you get back into character. For tonight. I mean you don't have to, it's up to you, but... You know. Er. Um."

Satisfied that this mumble of caveats and confusion was enough, Jade fell silent, now bright pink, as it finally dawned on Tori what she was trying to say.

"You want me to-"

"I'm just saying," Jade said, quickly. "If you wanted to, that's all."

Tori fell silent. She wasn't sure from Jade's expression and her inability to meet her eye whether this was an offer or a request. "Do _you_ want to?" she asked, eventually.

Jade looked at her for the first time. "Honestly?" she said, biting her lip.

"Yes."

"I... don't know."

"Oh."

"I'm not saying I _don't,_ okay? It's just, it's been a while, and the last few times haven't been great."

"The last..?"

"You know. At the Club." She put her hands up by her head and mimed being shackled.

"Then why do you want to do it at all? We don't have to."

"I need to get over it, Tori," Jade sighed. "I need to feel like it's fun again. If we're going to be equals in everything, I don't want you to think I've got some kind of hang up about it, that you've always got to be on the bottom. I know you still like this, and I want us to be able to do whatever we want, whenever we want. Like I said, I can get with this part, as long as I know we're on the same side."

Tori hesitated. "But-"

"Come on, Tori, I won't break," Jade broke into a grin, more comfortable now that she had the conversation under control. "Show me."

"Show you?"

"Show me." Jade sat down on the bed with a bounce, and started pulling her boots off. "Think of it as a challenge. I'm at your mercy. Do what you will."

Tori stood stunned, as she watched Jade undress, a sight that she would never stop thanking her lucky stars was hers to see. In a matter of moment the girl was naked except for the little scissor necklace and her jet ring. She stood, hands crossed behind her back, and flickered her hair off her shoulders with a shake of her head, a look of wanton defiance in her eyes. _"Show_ me."

Tori licked her lips, her mouth unaccountably dry. There was no point in fighting it. "On the bed," she croaked.

Jade bit her lip coyly for a moment, then turned and climbed onto the bed, face down, arms and legs outstretched. Tori let her own robe fall and felt the blood rising, in the same way it always had when she saw Jade like this - helpless, vulnerable. But at the same time she felt something else. A nervousness. She wasn't sure what to do. This was the first time she'd done this _for_ Jade, rather than _to_ her, the first time she'd had to consider her as a person, instead of a toy. What if she screwed it up? It would only take one wrong move, one hint of the way it had been before, and Jade would never want it again. _Show me_ , she'd said. But show me what?

 _Show me what you've learned_ , a voice said. _That's what she's_ _saying._ Show me you know how to do this. Read me. Watch me. Feel me. You're not driving a truck, you're playing an instrument, touch is everything.

 _Think._

She had nothing to lose by going in too gentle, she realized, and everything to lose by going in too hard. She remembered something she'd heard on the recorder. _The dommes are all about technique, and they vary only by degree_. Well not this domme. Not this time.

And so the cuffs didn't come out, or the whips, or the clamps. Just lips, and teeth, and fingers, and nails - these were all the tools she needed. She spread herself across Jade's back, skin to skin, feeling the other girl's sharp intake of anticipation, and considered - what does Jade want?

 _She likes pain, but she craves control._ _So give it to her. Let her win her reward. Let her fight for it._ That was the way to go. Fired with a new resolve, she slid her hands down and brought them up again with a rake of the nails, from the thighs to the ribs, tormenting and ticklish, drawing an exquisite shudder and a low whimper from the girl beneath her. Good. That was good. She ran her hands back down, palms flat, relishing the feel of the skin, and the contest began in earnest.

Up and down, giving and taking, demanding and delivering. Every hiss of agony earned Jade a moan of relief, every scrape of the nails earned a stroke of the finger between the delicate flesh so tantalizingly accessible below. Every bite earned a kiss. Every pleasure had a price, but she made sure that price was worth paying. Round and round she went, working her way across Jade's body, never losing contact, feeling the rise and fall, listening to the music that they were making.

But no words. She knew instinctively that if she opened her mouth it would break the spell. And besides, what could she say? Her old words made no sense in this new relationship, and she didn't have Jade's talent for improvisation. Better to keep her mouth shut and let her body do the talking.

And it did. She could almost feel the heat radiating from the skin beneath her, adding to her own, as Jade's body began to twitch and shake under her, as the nails dug deeper, and her fingers worked faster, wondering how long she could put it off. She knew she was close, and it would be a cruel mistress that forced her to hold on too long. But...

She wanted something special. A gesture. But what? Jade had had fire and ice, but she hadn't prepared anything like that, and she didn't want to let Jade cool down too much when she was right on the edge. She looked around, hands still busy, and then it came to her. Something that Jade had said about the compass.

 _You could even use it to make me..._

Yes. God, yes. She was perfectly equipped to do that, ideally endowed, and it was something that Jade wouldn't be expecting. She knew Tori hadn't had the nerve to make _her_ do it, so she'd never in a million years believe that Tori would do it herself. Especially not from on top. She wondered if Jade would appreciate the significance of that, the idea of submission and domination all rolled up into one. _Take that, West_. You're not the only one who can be smart. She felt dizzy with anticipation, as she always did at the thought of going beyond the boundary, into the unknown. She knew full well that Jade would never let her do this, never demand it, but that was the thrill, and besides, she giggled to herself, Jade was hardly in a position to stop her. She shifted further down the bed with an evil grin.

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, prevent the dog from barking. Hold the front page and alert the coastguard.

Tori Vega was about to do The Thing.

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Holly Vega was just leaving her room when she heard the yelp. She stopped, puzzled. It was unmistakeably Jade's voice, but it didn't sound like pain, or anger. More like... surprise. She listened closer, until it became clear that whatever was going on, it wasn't something that any self-respecting mother should be listening to. She slipped quietly past the bedroom door and down the stairs.

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Jade's attempt to suffer in silence crumbled, collapsed, was washed away in the torrent of pure, illicit, _shameful_ pleasure of what Tori was doing, and it didn't take long before she couldn't hold back anymore. Sensing it, Tori slid a hand into her hair, her only show of dominance, and pulled her head back an inch. "Are you ready?" she whispered.

The only answer was a low moan through clenched teeth. She grinned. "Then let it go." She plunged back to her work, harder, faster, driving into the spot she'd been avoiding all this time, giddy with the feeling of Jade's body bucking underneath her, knowing she was helpless to go anywhere but over the edge.

 _Oh..._

 _Ohhh..._

 _Ohhhhhh...fuckfuckfuckfuck..._

Jade's orgasm, when it came, was a long, guttural groan of pleasure mixed with incoherent profanities that seemed to last forever, her fists clenched tight in the bed covers, face buried in the pillow. Tori waited a moment until the shaking had subsided, then quickly reached for the bedposts, untying the scarves, loosing the bonds to let the girl curl into a ball and ride out the come-down, tucking herself in beside her, burying her face into her hair, and finally saying those three little words.

"Was that okay?"

There was no answer for a moment, then she felt the pale shoulders start to shake, and she realized Jade was laughing. The other girl twisted her head to look at her.

"Yes, Tori," she said, amusement dancing in her eyes. "That was abso-fucking- _lutely_ okay." She turned her head back and laid it on the pillow with a sated sigh. "I can't believe you _did_ that."

Tori gave a little giggle of satisfaction and hugged her close. The language of love was a curious thing, she decided. After a few moments of tranquillity, Jade rolled over astride her, pinning her to the bed. "Right," she said, with dangerous intent. "Your turn."

But Tori wasn't about to let her performance be topped just yet. "Ahem." She said, and nodded towards the clock. Jade followed her gaze.

"Damn it." Time was getting away from them. She rolled off Tori reluctantly, her eyes lingering for a moment on the sight. Tori swung her legs off the bed. "Shower?"

"Share?"

"Sure." Tori saw the look on her face. "But no funny business."

"Spoilsport."

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They showered quickly, mindful of the time, Jade's occasional overtures slapped playfully away, and Tori went back to the bedroom to dress while Jade applied her war-paint. Not quite so severe this time, but she dawdled over it anyway, trying to put off the moment when she had to put her outfit on, to reinforce her status as a plaything in the eyes of the Club. In amongst the myriad of things she resented about going there was the fact that she always had to look like a hooker while Tori got to look pretty. She sighed, took one last look at herself, and left the bathroom, only to trip over her own jaw.

"You're wearing that?" she choked.

Tori grinned. She was quite proud of her outfit. She'd made it herself, and part of the solace of not staying over at Jade's as much as she'd liked had been the chance to run it up. It was practically identical to the other girl's, the only difference being a short leather skirt in place of the hot pants, to cover the fading scar on her thigh, and a pair of black stilettos in contrast to Jade's high-heeled boots. She did a twirl. "You like it?"

Jade was lost for words.

"I'll take that as a 'yes', then."

"Well yes, but..."

"I just thought you'd feel more comfortable, that's all."

Jade shook her head in wonder. "I don't know what to say, Tori," she said, softly. "That's really sweet, thank you _."_

 _"_ No hay problema _._ Plus if you _had_ decided to take me instead, I'd have been ready to go. _"_

 _"_ But won't you get in trouble wearing that at the Club? You know what Marla was like. She's going to be pretty pissed if she thinks you're not keeping up appearances."

"Good."

"But-"

"Undermine their pompous authority, Jade," Tori intoned. "Reject their moral standards. Make anarchy and disorder your trademarks. Cause as much chaos and confusion as possible, but don't let them take you..." - she poked her girlfriend on the nose - "... alive."

Jade's mouth worked soundlessly for a moment. "What?"

"I dunno," she said, happily. "I read it on a T-shirt once."

"Er... right." Jade's eyes narrowed. "And who was wearing this T-shirt, exactly?"

"Why?"

"Because," she said, "I'm a little concerned that you were staring at some guy's chest long enough to memorize all that."

"Who said it was a guy?"

"Not helping."

Tori laughed. "It was on a hanger, okay," she said. "In the retro store downtown."

"Hmmm."

"It was!"

"Okay," Jade said. "I choose to believe you, because you look incredibly hot."

"Thank you." Tori fastened a thin black choker around her neck, and sat down to fix her hair, while Jade slipped into her own outfit, slightly chastened by the realization that while she'd looked better than Tori in the corset, Tori looked better than her in this. It was the legs, she decided. Tori had the legs for it. She'd just finished sliding the nails into her hair when Tori hustled her towards the mirror and stood beside her.

"Twins!"

Jade couldn't help smile at her enthusiasm. "So what are we this time?" she said.

"What do you mean?"

"Last time we were ninjas, so what are we now?"

Tori regarded their reflection, thoughtfully. "Princesses," she announced. "Warrior princesses."

Jade nodded, and grinned. "I can go with that. Okay, Princess," she said, bumping her hip against Tori's. "Let's go. Our carriage awaits."

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Holly heard footsteps, turning as the two girls descended the staircase again, and was struck by how the mood changed every time she saw this sight. The first time Jade had been browbeaten, threatened, dragged along - the second time had been awkward and uncomfortable, all three knowing it was a sham, and yet somehow forced to keep up their roles the night of the skit on the assumption that Jade's freedom was only temporary. The third time... Holly shuddered, the memory of Jade's ultimatum and appearance still fresh in her memory as it became clear that everything she thought she knew about her was wrong. But this time, this time was different again. All that tension had dissipated, gone, the two girls walking hand in hand down the stairs, laughing, teasing, looking for all the world as if they were just heading out to a fancy-dress party. Jade even had time to smile at her.

She closed her eyes to shut out the sight. It wasn't what Tori was wearing, she'd seen something like this coming ever since she'd gone over to Jade's - it had been Jade who'd faced her down, but she'd detected Tori's hand behind it, heard the muffled snigger, recognized the irony that for all the time she'd spent trying to make Tori strong, it was only now, in love, that she'd _found_ that strength. No, it wasn't that. It was the two of them, together, sparking a memory so strong that she felt faint. Two girls in matching outfits, skipping lightly down a staircase. Her and Caroline, on their way to the Green Door Club.

 _The Green Door. The tiny antithesis to the fake opulence of the Diamond Club. Scrupulously clean but unashamedly shabby, it was exclusive only in the sense that once you'd been there, you didn't want to share it with anyone else. They'd sat in its dimly-lit cosiness, under the posters of bands left over from its days as a biker bar, sipping illicit liquor and dancing around the tables, slipping away to one of its little private rooms - tossing a coin, or sometimes just 'freewheeling', mixing it up as they went along. A trick with a key in a block of ice - Caroline's idea - had had Lady Mary hammering at the door when the ice had taken longer to melt than Caroline had anticipated, and they'd returned, red-faced, to cheers and hoots from the crowd, and found their names scratched into the makeshift hall of fame on the bar._

 _Lady Mary._ _Fists of steel and a heart of gold._ _Vavasour of her own domain. She_ was _the Green Door Club, both its mistress and its slave. She'd laughed at their fake IDs, and welcomed them in anyway, as though the law was something that happened to other people. The club had it's own rules, passed down by word of mouth - you soon found out what Lady Mary would and wouldn't allow, and woe betide you if you crossed that line, or had the gall to think that your authority meant anything compared to hers. She'd seen dommes - grown women - clipped around the ear and sent to stand in the corner for ten minutes, much to the delight of the rest of the clientele, before returning, chastened, but still in good humor. It was all part of the game, part of the price of belonging to a family._

 _Good humor, that was the thing. When did it all stop being fun? When did the Lady Marys of the world give way to the Mistress Marlas? Of course, she knew the answer._

 _The day she opened the cellar door._

She was shaken from her reverie by the jangle of her phone. She looked at it. _Marla._ Damn it, what now? She'd had Holly running around all week over this and that, like she was some kind of hired lackey. She hadn't even had time to oversee the preparations for tonight, having to trust Marla to cover it. God only knew what she'd come up with. She'd begged her to tone it down, try and show a modicum of respect for the girls. Or at least for Jade. More and more the whole thing made her sick to the stomach. _Jesus, Caroline, I'm sorry._ _I turned into one of them._ That bunch of odious bitches. If she didn't need their money she'd swap the lot of them for a dog, and shoot the dog. She shouldn't take the call.

She took the call.

"What is it, Marla?... What? You have got to be... I'm just about to get in the car, for Christ's sake!"

The voice on the other end went on unmoved, and eventually she gave in, as she always did. "All right. Where?"

She shut off the call, missing the days when you could properly slam the phone down. "I'm sorry, girls," she said. "I have something I need to do."

"But Mom..."

"It's fine, okay?" she said, briskly. "You two take the car. I'll meet you there later."

They nodded, and she made to leave.

"Holly?"

She paused at Jade's voice, and turned. "Yes?"

"About the other night. When you came over."

Holly's eyes widened. It was unthinkable that Jade would apologize, or even try to explain. Holly had been hoist with her own petard, and she knew it. But the girl's expression didn't seem triumphant either. "What?" she said, guardedly.

"I just wanted to say thank you," Jade said, quietly. "I know that took a lot."

They stood, staring at each other for a moment, as the foundations of the world shifted again. Finally Holly nodded, curtly, and opened the door, stepping out into the cool evening air. _Perhaps it might turn out all right in the end_ , she thought. _If we can just get through tonight_.

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"So," Jade blew out a sigh. "It looks like it's just you and me, baby girl."

She turned, to find herself drawn into an embrace. "I wouldn't have it any other way," Tori murmured.

"And neither would I." She drew back and took Tori's face gently in her hands. "Will you promise me something?"

"Yes?"

She hesitated. "I don't know what's going to happen tonight," she said. "Maybe it'll be awful, maybe it'll be okay. Kyra and Amy will be there too, so I'm not going to be singled out for anything, and this is just the stuff we'd have had to do anyway to get in. At least this time I know you're there for me. And we might even get to have fun, there's a first time for everything. But…" She sighed. "If it isn't fun, if it _isn't_ okay, and you have to watch me... When you look at me Tori, when you think about it afterwards, I don't want you to remember me like that."

"I... what do you mean, 'remember' you?"

"What I mean is, don't think of me as a victim, don't feel sorry for me. We're fooling _them,_ remember? Knowledge is power. Think of me as being deep undercover, and you're my handler. We've got this. You and me. Yes?"

"…Yes."

"Good girl," she said, planting a kiss. "Now come on, race you to the car."

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 **The T-shirt is an old one of mine with a quote from Sid Vicious (the real one, not the wrestler). 'Stop all the clocks...' is from 'Funeral Blues' by WH Auden.**

 **If you want to know what the trick with the key in the ice is, you need to read Max Tomos' 'Love Cuffs', that explains it far better than I ever could.**


	48. Chapter 48 - Dungeons and Dragons

**Hi. For all those of you who ducked out at the beginning of sub week thinking it was only going to be a couple of chapters, welcome back to the plot.**

 **Thanks for your reviews. And thanks to Max Tomos for his help with this chapter.**

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Simon opened the car door for them, and they got out, Jade flashing him the kind of smile that would keep him warm in his long vigil in the parking lot. They approached the entrance, and Jade realized that for the first time Tori was wearing, technically, _less_ than she was, her legs being completely bare while Jade's were encased in her boots, and she saw the other girl shiver slightly in the breeze. She reached out and gave a hug.

"Okay," she said. "Usual deal. When we get in there, you have total control." She looked around. "Where's the leash?"

"I didn't bring it."

"What? Why?"

"Because we're supposed to be here as equals, remember? That was the whole point."

Jade sighed. " _I_ know that, Tori, but they don't. We've still got to impress the judges."

"Why?" Tori said. "Who cares what they think?"

"Well, _you_ do." She paused. "Don't you?"

The elephant in the room. The issue of Tori's membership hadn't come up for some time.

Tori stared at her. "You don't think I actually still _want_ this, do you?" she said, incredulously. "After everything we've been through? After everything we've said?"

"Well, I don't know," Jade shrugged, uncomfortably. "What about your career? And then there's your mom, and-"

"Screw all that," Tori said. "If my career depends on coming here and begging favors from this bunch of weirdos I'd rather give it up and work in a diner for the rest of my life. And as for my mom, what's she going to do? Disown me? Throw me out of the house? She wouldn't dare. Not now I've got you."

"What's it got to do with me?"

"My mom's terrified of you."

"Why?"

"I don't know. But I've only ever seen her back down to one person before, and that's Marla. You've faced her down twice."

"That last one was your idea."

"But _she_ doesn't know that. Anyway, the point is, I don't want to be a member of my mom's stuffy old club. I don't want to be a member of _any_ club, except the one we're in right now. The best, most exclusive club in the world."

"Right. And... which one's that, exactly?"

"Us, you dunce. You and me. The Jade and Tori club. That's all I want. So let's get in there, have a couple of drinks, and find out what we need to know."

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"Have you ever seen a more abject spectacle of human misery," Jade muttered.

"Hey!" Tori said. "I thought we'd spent all last week proving that there's nothing wrong with being a sub."

"I'm not _talking_ about the subs," Jade said, darkly.

"You know, it's funny," Tori said. "I always thought this would be your kind of thing."

"I know you did."

"Not like that. I just mean generally. The lifestyle. I thought you'd like all the black leather, and chains, and stuff. I thought you'd think it was all.. dark and edgy."

Jade turned, and raised an eyebrow. "Dark and edgy?"

"Yeah. You know, cool."

"I hate to burst your bubble, Tori, but this stuff isn't 'dark and edgy'."

"Why not?"

"Because 'dark and edgy' is a state of mind," Jade said. "It's about pushing boundaries, breaking rules. Can you imagine anyone in here wanting to break the rules? The rules are what it's all _about._ This stuff's got more fucking rules than _Dungeons and Dragons_. The only difference is that in here the dungeons are real. And so are the dragons," she murmured.

"Dragons?"

"Here's Marla. Stand by your beds."

Marla approached like a wary predator, her eyes flitting between the two of them as she tried to make sense of their outfits. Her gaze finally fell on Jade's silver collar. "Ah, Jade," she said, ignoring Tori completely. "You're here."

"Yes, Mistress Marla."

"And in the collar, too."

"Yes, Mistress Marla."

"It's just that a little bird told me," Marla said, "that you had aspirations in another direction." She smiled, benevolently. "But you seem to have changed your mind."

"Yes, Mistress Marla."

Marla nodded, pleased. "That's probably for the best. We all have our place, dear, and some of us are born to dominate, just as some are born to submit."

"Yes, Mistr-"

"Actually Jade's application isn't cancelled," Tori interrupted, annoyed at being sidelined. "It's just postponed."

They both turned to look at her in confusion. "Postponed?" Marla echoed.

"Absolutely," Tori said, firmly. "Jade feels that she needs to prove her worthiness as a sub before she becomes a domme. Isn't that right?"

Jade was derailed by this sudden swerve. "Er... Yes, Mistress?"

"Yep." Tori turned to Marla. "She's been working very hard at it."

"Hard?"

"Oh, yes," Tori said, airily. "If you must know, I've been on the bottom all week. And I can tell you," she nudged Marla hard enough to spill her drink, "it's been _very_ instructive. _If_ you know what I mean." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

There was a slight hiss of warning from Jade, intended only for Tori's ears, but unfortunately picked up by Marla too, who already looked like she'd swallowed raw fugu, and now seemed to have chased it down with cold vomit.

"Tori Vega," she said acidly, "for the sake of your mother, I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Might I remind you that you are here as an applicant, not a member. Your behavior is under scrutiny. The very fact that you have to be reprimanded by your own sub..." she glanced at Jade, "hardly bodes well for your success. I'll overlook your choice of attire - you're both young, and pretty, and it's the prerogative of the young to flaunt themselves. But I warn you, you are sailing very close to the wind, young lady. By choosing to blur the boundary between the two of you you're drawing attention to your most obvious weakness, and as such you need to be very, very careful."

Jade closed her eyes. She wasn't sure of the etiquette involved in one domme admonishing another in front of their sub, but she was damned sure that in Tori's current rebellious mood there was every chance that this little speech would kick her into overdrive and they'd be picking bits of Marla off the walls. It seemed ironic that the further away they travelled from Tori's original attempts at 'domination', the more dominant she was actually becoming - which would have made Jade quite proud, if this hadn't been absolutely the worst place in the world for Tori to unleash her inner tiger. She risked a look at the other girl, but all she could see was the sparkle in her eyes.

"You're absolutely right, Marla," Tori said, brightly. "I'm sorry. I don't know _what_ came over me."

Jade almost choked. This was a little joke between them, since what came over Tori was, generally, Jade. She held her breath to see if Marla suspected.

Marla didn't. "Good," she said, sharply. "Your mother is a senior member of this club, and it's your duty to uphold her reputation. Such as it is," she added.

Tori didn't rise to that either. "So what's going on tonight?" she asked. "I hear it's something special."

Marla raised an eyebrow. "Tonight?" she said. "Oh, yes. Well, we did have something rather fun planned, but unfortunately, your _mother_ ," she looked pointedly at Tori, "seemed to think it was unsuitable. Something about it being a little… undignified." She snorted in amusement, as though the very thought was ridiculous.

"So there's no trial?"

"Oh, there will be a trial," she said, smugly. "It just won't be what we had planned." She switched her attention to Jade. _"Tonight's_ trial is merely," she said, with a smile that held no humor, "a simple test of endurance."

Tori opened her mouth to say something, but Marla brushed her off. "Enjoy your evening, girls." She turned to leave. "Oh, Jade," she said. "I almost forgot. How tall are you?"

"...Tall?"

"Barefoot. How tall?"

Jade found her throat suddenly dry. "Five seven."

"Thank you." Marla smiled again, and disappeared into the crowd with a wave.

"I don't like the sound of that," Jade said, doubtfully.

"Me neither."

"And what was all that about my application being postponed? I haven't even signed anything. And you don't want to be a member anyway."

"I know," Tori said with a shrug. "I just wanted to see the look on her face."

"Well _thanks_ , Tori," Jade said, exasperated. "Because if there's one thing I really need, it's to have Marla pissed at us when I'm pretty much at her mercy for the rest of the night."

"It'll be fine."

"That's easy for you to say, you're not the one being measured for something. What if it's a casket?"

"Then at least you'll have the whole ' _vampire chic'_ thing going on."

"Not funny, Tori. What if they're going to bury us alive or something?" She went pale. "Or underwater," she shuddered. "Oh, God, please don't let it be underwater."

"Jade..."

"I don't think I could stand it if it was water."

"Jade!"

"What?"

"Stop being an idiot."

"What do you mean?"

"They can't make you do it, Jade," Tori said, patiently. "This isn't _actually_ the dark ages, no matter what they think. If it's something gross, or dangerous, we'll just turn around, flip 'em the bird, and go catch a movie or something." She grinned at the idea. "I would love that."

Jade sighed. Of course Tori believed that. But Sally had other ideas. _You need to know…_

"Yeah," she said. "I guess so." She looked down. "Although we might want to get changed first, unless they're showing _The Rocky Horror Show_ at Central."

Tori giggled. "Come on, Magenta," she said. "Let's go mingle."

"'Mingle'?"

"I mean infiltrate."

Jade's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Are you sure you're not having fun?"

"Positively. Let's go."

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People were staring. Tori's costume warranted a lot of attention in many admirable, eye-popping ways, but in here it just caused confusion. And it wasn't just the matching outfits. It was the lack of leash, the hand-holding, the laughter. Everyone sensed there was something different here, something dangerous. Not long ago they'd watched these two upstarts trounce Danielle and Trixie in the Red Room, and now here they were treating the Club like... well, like an actual club. There was an undercurrent of resentment tinged with curiosity, made worse by the fact that a rumor was circulating that one of the applicants had dropped out, and that Jade might or might not have had something to do with it. All in all, it seemed safest to give them a wide berth, and let someone else deal with it.

But Tori was having none of that. She was determined to make a point, pulling out chairs, hugging her, introducing her to other people for all the world as if they were at a wedding, making a whole big deal of their 'equality' even though the collar around her neck said anything but. It was easy to spot the few remaining old guard, the membership carried over from the Club's previous incarnation - they were unfailingly polite, interested, encouraging, even. The new members, the 'Sisterhood', looked like they were sucking piss off a nettle, their subs silent and ghostly. Jade was aware that she was every bit as 'on show' for her new status as dominant sub as she had been for her previous role as butt monkey, but at least this time she got to watch dommes crumble and avert their eyes when they realized that not only could they not cow her with their own 'dominance', but that they couldn't get to her through Tori either, who seemed intent on burning bridges as fast as she could, at one point telling Madison Kentworth to mind her own fucking business when she'd gotten a little too personal. It occurred to Jade that many of the Sisterhood seemed to equate personal power with some kind of innate superiority, as though because someone called them 'Mistress', _everyone_ should call them 'Mistress', an idea of which they were quickly and gleefully disabused. She wondered if Tori would have been quite this reckless if Holly had been here - she was making a lot of enemies, and her chances of ever coming back as a domme were sunk. But she didn't seem to care, happily bouncing around like a fox in a henhouse, making the feathers fly.

Entertaining though all this was, it had to stop. There was a fine line between making a point, and getting thrown out. Tori was even offering to go and fetch the drinks, for Heaven's sake – a domme could go to the bar for her own drink, or she could have it brought to her, but the very foundations of their world would collapse if a domme was seen to be acting as a waitress for her own sub.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you're drawing attention to us, Tori. We're supposed to be keeping a low profile. I'll go get the drinks, and ask around a little. You go and..." She spotted a couple she recognized in the corner. "Go talk to Kyra and Amy."

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The woman was dressed incongruously in high heels and overalls, a hammer slung from her belt. Behind her the curtains muffled the noise from the hall. "How tall?"

Marla considered this for a moment. "Five… _eight."_

"Okay, boss." The woman pulled out her tape measure. "Where's she going?"

"Let's see." Marla stood back, and admired her handiwork. Strictly speaking she hadn't lifted a finger, but then that was what being dominant was all about.

"In the middle, I think, don't you?" she said, with a smile of satisfaction. "The very _center_ of attention."

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There they are, Tori thought. Kyra and Amy. Kyra at the front, and Amy on the leash, the silver collar, identical to Jade's, around her neck. The sign of belonging to a potential member. When Tori first heard the word 'belonging' from her mom, right before her first session with Alyssa Vaughn, she thought it sounded strange, alien. Later, as time had passed and she'd changed subs like she changed socks, treating them with much the same consideration, she'd taken it all for granted. It seemed like the most normal thing in the world. It was only now she knew what _belonging_ really meant, that it had nothing to do with collars and leashes, or 'ownership', that you can't belong to someone until they belong to you too.

She wondered if they really believed in it, in the way she had - if Kyra really believed that she _owned_ Amy, body and mind. Or if they saw it for the game it was. She looked at them again - Amy wide-eyed and nervous, Kyra standing stiffly upright in unfamiliar heels, holding Amy's leash awkwardly with one hand while sipping a cocktail that she'd obviously chosen for its sophistication rather than its taste - and was struck by how young they looked, how out of place. _A little lost girl in her mommy's shoes_. She felt suddenly older, wiser, _nostalgic_ almost, as though she were watching children do something that she'd outgrown, their faces serious with the terrible importance of a triviality.

She noticed that people were looking at her, and she realized she was laughing. That wouldn't do. If there was anything these guys didn't like, it was being laughed at. She put on her poker face and wandered over to the two girls.

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Jade quietly separated from Tori, and began to move through the throng of bodies, taking a circuitous route towards the door to the main staircase. She'd been trying to track Marla's movements, but Marla had disappeared behind the stage curtains, and there was no telling when she might reappear. She slid her hand behind her and surreptitiously tried the handle. Locked.

She'd been half expecting that. She'd only got through the first time because of Marla's carelessness. She'd have to try a different way. There was the small service door that led onto the stage, but she couldn't risk going through the curtains if Marla was still there. She looked around, and noticed something odd. Dotted around the hall were single women, dressed as dommes, but strangely alert as though looking for something.

Security. They'd tightened security since the break-in. She cursed herself. She hadn't though that through. All she'd done was ensure that it was going to be twice as hard to find anything out before the trial.

There were other doors leading off the hall, into the private rooms. She moved counterclockwise around the crowd, stepping over subs in various states of supplication, past two dommes who were carrying on a conversation of astonishing banality while their respective subs were busy between their legs. One she half-recognized from a publicity shot for a movie that had bombed, the other was some kind of economics professor. She'd never realized education paid so well. She sincerely hoped the girl on the ground was going to get a few extra credits on her term paper, because she was sure as hell earning it. She walked past before either noticed her.

The Blue Room. Locked. Either someone was in there, or access was on request. She put her ear to the door, and thought she heard a faint scream. She winced and moved away.

The Green Room was unlocked, but not empty. She only caught a glimpse of the interior over the shoulder of the woman closest to the door before she was shooed away, but it was enough to make her wish it _had_ been locked. _I'm in a madhouse_ , she thought. How can anyone want that done to them? But the more disturbing question was, _did_ they want it? A whole club full of people like Holly and Tori - the _old_ Tori, she reproached herself - putting pressure on the people who were the most vulnerable, the people whose preference necessarily put them at the mercy of their partners, the people for whom trust was absolutely everything. A domme's loyalty should be to her sub, her only concern should be for her well-being of the girl in her care. The domme serves the sub in every real sense, because it can only work that way – anything else would eventually descend into abuse. But what happens when that loyalty is transferred elsewhere? Subs are beautiful, fragile things - they crave just a little pain in a world that would gladly heap it on them until they broke. They have to be protected, cherished. One wrong move and they can be damaged beyond repair. Hold them too tightly and the flower is crushed.

But the Club was one big, clumsy fist. By adhering to the Club's rules rather than their own, the dommes had effectively put their subs under its control, in the same way Jade had found herself beholden to Holly. And the Club owed no allegiance to them - they weren't even members, just the necessary equipment to prove yourself worthy of the Sisterhood. So where did that leave them? What happens when something else becomes more important than you? What happens when the voice of the Club is ringing in the ears of your protector, so loudly that they can't hear you anymore?

The safeword is only safe if someone's listening.

How far would a sub be willing to go for their mistress? What would they tolerate, to stay close to the one person they've come to trust, to repay their loyalty even as it slips away toward someone else? At what point do you say, _enough is enough, you're hurting me_?

Trixie had been able to see it. Trixie had seen that the Club was changing people, she'd been worried for Danielle, that Danielle was getting crueler, less considerate, as the Sisterhood moved in. But Trixie was tough enough to shake it off and keep Danielle under control. But what if you _couldn't_ say no? What if you loved someone so much that you'd do anything for them, anything to keep them happy? How does a relationship become abusive? One day at a time. Little by little. Drip, drip, drip. You take advantage, they don't complain. You go a little further, they tolerate it, because it's only slightly worse than yesterday. And so it goes on.

But they couldn't _all_ be like that, surely. Holly had told her that most of the people here weren't even couples, in that sense, just mutually beneficial 'arrangements', and it was hard to see why you'd put up with all this aggravation for the sake of an arrangement unless you genuinely _wanted_ to be treated this way, unless you were having fun. And they didn't look like they were having fun. They didn't look like they even knew what fun was.

So why would they do it? Why would they put up with it if they could just walk away? Blackmail? Money? The intangible promise of a helping hand for their career?

 _You know the answer, Jadey. You've always known._

Please, Sal, don't say it.

 _You need to find out what's in that bottle._

 _._

 _._

 _._

"Hey," Tori said brightly. Kyra turned. She'd obviously heard about Tori, and she appeared to be hovering somewhere between affected disapproval and the desperate need to talk to someone, _anyone_ , after an hour of just standing there trying to look dominant. Why on earth she couldn't just talk to Amy, Tori wasn't sure, but then she'd only allowed Jade five minutes of actual conversation the whole first night they were here, and that was only because of the whole 'Cat' fiasco. She nodded to Amy, too, and got back a shy smile.

"So, how's it going?"

Kyra cleared her throat. "Good. Thanks."

"Still, you know... doing your thing?"

"Yes."

"Great." There was an awkward silence. Kyra turned to Amy. "Could you go and see if I've left my phone in my jacket, Amy?"

There was just enough of a pause to signify that Amy knew full well that she hadn't, but she nodded with a sibilant murmur and disappeared.

"People are talking about you," Kyra said.

"I'll bet they are."

"Is it true?"

"What?"

"That you let her..."

"I didn't _let_ her do anything."

"Uh. Right. It's just that-"

"I asked her to."

Kyra gaped. "You asked her to do it?"

Tori wasn't sure whether Kyra's horror was at the fact she'd voluntarily let Jade top her, or the fact that she'd had to _ask_ her to do anything.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to know what it was like."

"Oh." There was a short silence, while Kyra sniffed and stared at her feet. It was clear that there was a question she wanted to ask, and equally clear that she was embarrassed about it. Eventually she looked around, and then hesitantly shuffled a little closer. "What was it like?"

Tori leaned back, and smiled fondly at the memory of cold ice and hot wax, at the sound of the voice and the fire of the lash, at the look of devotion on Jade's face as she brought all her concentration to bear on making Tori's body sing. She turned to Kyra, and grinned. "You've met her," she said, widening her eyes for emphasis, "what do _you_ think it was like?"

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Jade made her way towards the Red Room, nodding deferentially to a passing domme. The outer door was far too close to the looming figure of a security guard for comfort, so she slipped down the corridor towards the dressing room.

The dressing room was empty, thankfully, just a jumble of coats and bags on the rail. She crossed the room and put her hand on the handle. _Please, God, let this be it_. She entertained a brief, fleeting fantasy that she'd open this door and find a crate of the stuff on the floor, just waiting for her to pocket a bottle and head back to Tori. _Screw the trial, Princess, we're out of here_. But somehow she knew that wasn't going to happen. On the other hand, the Red Room opened on to the escape corridor, and the tiny staircase that led to the upper floor, through the door with no handle. Even _she_ hadn't been able to conceal her scissors in this outfit, but she'd break it down if she had to. She tightened her grip on the handle.

It was unlocked. All she had to do was…

Voices. Her heart sank, and she felt the unexpected threat of tears at the injustice of it all. This was her last chance to do it the easy way, her last chance not to have to go through the trial, and it was ruined thanks to someone using a whole fucking dungeon just to have a conversation. Why couldn't they do it outside if it was that damned important? She almost let the door slide back into place, but curiosity got the better of her. She couldn't make it all out, just fragments.

 _...thought she wasn't..._

 _...changed her mind, I don't..._

 _...still want me to..._

 _...yes, go ahead, but be careful..._

 _...to her, or the other one..._

 _...to her. And don't offer more than a thousand..._

 _...okay, Mom, I'll..._

 _...don't call me that. Not in here._

Something was going on. She could swear one of those voices was Marla's, she must have come in while Jade was trying the other rooms. To her alarm she heard footsteps coming towards her. They were leaving. Panicked, she dived into the thicket of coats, holding her breath. If they didn't see her, there was still a chance she could get in once they'd gone.

 _Click_. She heard the Red Room door close, and a key turn in the lock. _Damn it_. It crossed her mind that the Almighty would be quite at home in the Diamond Club, given the amount of effort he put into tormenting her. He'd certainly give Marla a run for her money.

She emerged from the coats to empty silence, and leaned back heavily on the wall. That was it. Nowhere else to go. She sighed. There was only one thing she could do now. One place she could go. The last refuge of the terminally confounded. The last resort.

Time to hit the bar.

She sidled out of the corridor, scanning the room to see if she had anyone's attention. No. She caught a glimpse of Tori still talking to Kyra, but she could wait. First there was the opportunity to indulge in the only pleasure she ever got in this place. She cracked her knuckles, tossed her hair, and began to plough through the crowd to the bar.

 _What's good for shock?_ Brandy, that was it. She ordered two large brandies, and paused. Maybe she should get something for Tori, too. But then she couldn't carry four drinks, so she'd have to drink these first. Satisfied with this logic, she reached for the first glass, and was just about to down it when she sensed someone behind her.

"Hello, Jade," said a voice, like a knife between the ribs. "Remember me?"

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	49. Chapter 49 - Swimming with Sharks

**Hi, I'm back from vacation. I've just noticed it's been almost exactly a year since I started this story – I thought it was just going to be a couple of chapters to put an alternative spin on the original, but it seems to have taken on a life of its own. Sorry about that. Thanks for sticking with it anyway, it'll all be over by Christmas.**

 **So, let's take at little look at the denizens of the Diamond Club...**

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 _"Are you sure you want to go, Sally?"_

 _"Of course. What's the worst that could happen?"_

 _"The thing you have to understand is that this lifestyle can attract... undesirable people. People who'd take advantage of a girl like you. You might think you're playing in the shallows, but before you know it you can find yourself way out in the ocean, swimming with sharks."_

 _"Don't worry about me, Caroline. I'll stay by the shore, I don't really care much for the sea. Anyway, I'm not on my own, I'm with you. You'll look after me, won't you?"_

 _"Yes, I will, Sally. I'd rather die than have anything happen to you."_

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 _Chapter 3 - The Illusion of Choice_

 _The illusion of choice is your most powerful weapon. And the greater the choice, the more illusory it becomes. Let them believe they're in control of their own destiny, that they can leave at any time, and they're more likely to stay - more likely to accept each petty new rule in the knowledge that they can always walk away if the next one proves too much. And the longer they stay, the more daunting the thought of leaving becomes, the higher the risk of taking that step into the unknown. Because it's all or nothing. Always. Submit or walk away._ _And after a while, they get used to it. Come to welcome the security, the freedom from responsibility. Better to be with you, and the comfort of the rug by your feet, than shiver on the doorstep outside._

 _M. Bowden - The Art of the Sisterhood: Level T.T. III_

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Jade turned to find herself looking into a pair of eyes so dead, so lifeless, that for a moment she thought she was looking at a waxwork.

"It is Jade, isn't it? Tori's submissive." The way the woman pronounced it made Jade's teeth grind. There was something oddly familiar about her, something about those cold eyes that made her stomach churn, something that stirred memories of darkness…

 _Of course_. This was _don't-call-me-Debbie_ , one of the awful trio that had quizzed them after the skit, when Tori had made her first tentative steps into the exciting new world of treating Jade like a human being. Her face-lift had done her no favors, and the small smile she affected was putting it under strain. Someone should have been sued.

"Hi," She was in no mood for small talk, especially with this one.

"Hi?" Deborah raised an eyebrow in disapproval. "Well I can see Tori hasn't taught you any manners," she sneered. "But then I guess she wouldn't. She seems to have let you too far off the leash."

Jade said nothing, hoping she'd go away, but Deborah moved closer. "You see, I know the _real_ you," she murmured. "And I know what you want." She glanced in Tori's direction. "Perhaps she thinks she's being kind to you, your mistress," she said. "Taking pity, letting you have a taste of freedom. But freedom's not what you want, is it, Jade? Freedom's not what you need. You act up because you really want to be put down. _Hard_. That's what you crave. All your life you've been looking for it, looking for someone to show you your place. A girl like you needs _real_ discipline. Needs to be brought to heel. Needs to be..." she traced a finger down Jade's arm, "... _broken_."

Jade sighed, and wondered if this sort of talk was supposed to reduce her to a quivering mass of submissiveness. It sounded depressingly like Tori's opening speech. "No, I'm good, thanks," she said, and reached for the drinks on the bar, only to find the hand tighten on her arm.

"You tell your mistress that I'm willing to trade."

Jade stared at her blankly. "Trade?"

"A thousand dollars," Deborah said. "For you. For the weekend."

"You're trying to _buy_ me?" Jade was taken aback. Holly had intimated that this went on, but Tori had dismissed it as her mother's exaggeration.

"Think of it more as… an exchange. Tell her I'll even throw in my own sub. She's over there."

Jade didn't bother to turn round. She knew without looking that Deborah's sub would be one of the pale ones. "Fuck off."

If Jade had expected that to provoke a response, she'd underestimated Deborah's determination. "Very spirited," she said. "I'll look forward to beating that out of you. Here." She produced a business card. "This is my number."

Jade looked at the card. _Deborah Negovanlis. CEO First Amalgamated Trust_. She was about to screw it up and throw it back in her face, when she frowned. She was used to spotting fakes, and something didn't ring true about this. It wasn't just the poor design, or the generic nature of the card - no business address, no location, just a name and number, it was the disconnect between what the card was trying to tell her, and what the hand _holding_ it revealed.

You can change your face as much as you like, but there's nothing you can do about your hands. The surgeon's gift of eternal youth stopped at the wrist. In this case, though, they told the opposite story. She'd assumed this woman was pushing forty, desperate to look younger, but her hands were like a child's, smooth and unblemished. She looked back at the face, and it dawned on her. The surgery wasn't cosmetic. It was reconstructive. Deborah had had an accident of some kind. If anything she was probably closer in age to Jade herself, which made it highly unlikely she was CEO of anything. So why the pretense? Who'd believe her? And why hadn't _Marla_ spotted her?

The voice. She'd heard the voice before. That was why. This was the other woman in the Red Room. This was Marla's _daughter_. And she didn't want anyone to know. That changed everything.

Knowledge is power, and now she knew something that Marla didn't want her to.

Marla was setting her up.

And Marla must know by now that Tori wouldn't dream of agreeing to this, that's why she was sending Deborah directly to Jade. This wasn't trading. This was _poaching_. She pushed the card into the waist of her pants. "I'll think about it," she said, in a bored tone.

Deborah smiled. "You do that."

"But on one condition."

"What?"

"If – and I mean, _if_ – I do this, it's just between me and you. Tori doesn't need to know."

"That suits me fine," Deborah said. "Tori was never going to be able to keep you, anyway. I'll be expecting you."

"I haven't said I'll come, yet."

"Oh, you'll come," Deborah purred. "You won't have any other choice. It's who you _are_. Now, run along, while I decide how I'm going to play with you."

She gave Jade a dismissive pat on the ass. It wasn't hard, but Jade felt the blood rising. She forced herself to stay calm. If she killed this woman _now_ , she told herself, all hell would break loose, and it was going to be hard to get answers from inside a jail cell. Her time would come.

She said nothing, but picked up the two drinks on the bar, and turned to go, her elbow entirely accidentally, _utterly_ coincidentally, catching the bottom of Deborah's drink, sending it down the front of her dress.

"Sorry, Mistress," she murmured as she drifted past, leaving Deborah flapping frantically at the ice in her cleavage. She grinned. It wouldn't do to make her think it was _too_ easy.

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Kyra blushed. "But aren't you afraid it'll affect your membership? You know what they're like."

 _They_. That was what struck Tori. "Are you happy here?" she said, suddenly.

Kyra looked guilty, as though she'd said something she shouldn't. "Of course," she said quickly. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Tori laughed. "Relax," she said. "I'm not a secret judge, I'm probably not even going to get my membership after tonight. You can tell me."

"Honestly?" Kyra's face screwed up in indecision. "I don't know," she said. "It all just seems a bit..."

"Boring?"

"Grim. And I'm not sure Amy really likes it."

Tori was surprised. It was the first time she'd heard anyone in the Club acknowledge that their sub might have an opinion about the place. "She didn't want to come?"

"No," Kyra said. "She said she'd do it to help me out because of my Aunt and everything, and she's been really good about it so far. But all this..." Kyra waved her hand around. "It just feels wrong, like there's something in the air."

Tori hadn't heard it put like that, but now she thought about it, there was something. Not a smell, just a feeling. _Something rotten in the state of Denmark._

"And the way some people talk to her in here," Kyra went on, "it's just _embarrassing_. She's my girlfriend, for God's sake. I mean she never complains, but how would you like it? I know it must get to her, because we always have quite a long downtime afterwards."

"Downtime?" Tori said.

"You know, when we're not..."

"Oh, right," Tori said. "We call it 'Off du-" She checked herself. "Off the clock."

"Yeah, that. She never says it's because of this, because she's too nice, but I think it takes her a while to get it out of her head. So I just have to be patient, wait until she says it's time."

"Until she says..?"

"Well, yes." Kyra stared at her, slightly confused. "That's how it works, isn't it?"

"Um," Tori said, guiltily. She began to wonder if Kyra wasn't the most sensible person in the building. "So why do you want to come here?"

Kyra sighed. "My aunt thought it was a good idea. She thought it would be good for my career to join the Club and meet all these people. But why?" She looked around. "Why? None of these people want to talk to someone like me, they just want to swan around like they own the place, making deals and treating everyone else like dirt." She sniffed. " _And_ their subs are all weird."

"Well some of them seem a little-"

"Oh, God, she's coming over."

"Who?"

"My aunt." Kyra turned to Tori, imploringly. "Please don't say anything."

"Like what?"

"Like _anything_. Please?"

"Er... I guess."

Kyra's Aunt Claudia was under steam, moving towards them in full regalia. "Kyra," she snapped. "What are you doing over here? You're not going to impress anybody standing there like a damp rag."

"Yes, Aunt Claudia."

"I hope you've been training hard."

"Training for what?" Kyra said. "We don't even know what we're supposed to be doing. Amy thinks-"

"Amy thinks?" Claudia spat. "Amy's not supposed to _think_. It's your job to make sure she can't, that she _daren't_. The reason we don't tell you what to expect at the Club is because it doesn't _matter_. It's not about what she has to do, it's the fact that she should be prepared to do it _without_ thinking. Thinking only brings doubt and uncertainty, Kyra, that's how she has to feel. That's why you push her into situations like this without warning. The whole point is to keep her off-balance, unsure of herself, so that the only time she feels safe, the _only_ time she feels secure, is when she's with you, doing precisely what _you_ want and nothing else. You're changing her reality, training her to see the cage as her only sanctuary. Slaves aren't born, Kyra, they're made. One step at a time. You start letting her think for herself, and pretty soon she's going to outsmart you. You never were the sharpest knife in the drawer. Where is the girl, anyway?"

They both looked in the direction Amy had taken, and Tori saw her returning. Her face, already wearing an expression of long-suffering misery, fell completely at the sight of Claudia, and her walk became a slow trudge. Kyra obviously saw it too.

"I don't know," she lied.

"Well for God's sake don't let her wander off. You only need to take her so far, Kyra, and the Club will do the rest. But until then, it's up to you."

"What do you mean?"

"Once you become a member, things will get easier, trust me. In the meantime, make sure you keep the leash tight. Otherwise," she nodded towards Tori, "you'll end up like this one here, rolled over like a dog."

Tori bridled, but it was too late to say anything as Claudia swept away, leaving Kyra to carry the can of Tori's ire.

"What the hell?" Tori said. "Do you have any _idea_ what that sounded like?"

Kyra nodded, miserably. "She says stuff like that all the time. It's all bullshit." She sighed. "God knows what would happen if Amy found out, though."

"She doesn't know?"

"I try not to let them meet, much." She put up a hand to give Amy the all-clear to come back. "She puts up with a lot for the sake of this, but if she ever heard all that, they'd be able to fit what's left of Aunt Claudia in a matchbox. Without taking the matches out first."

"Amy?"

"She's got a black belt in something I can't even pronounce."

"But-"

"I love Amy. She's the nicest, kindest soul I've ever met, and I don't really deserve her. But there's only so much crap she'll take."

Amy rejoined them, and Tori found it hard to reconcile the image of the girl in front of her with someone who could punch your heart out through your spine, but then appearances were deceptive.

"Your phone wasn't there, Mistress."

Kyra had the grace to look embarrassed, mumbling something about having found it, and Tori wondered how this conversation would go if she weren't there, whether Amy was trying to impress. As if to provide an example of how _not_ to impress, Jade returned.

"Here." She shoved a glass into Tori's hand. Tori sniffed it, tentatively. "We're having brandy?"

"Don't ask," Jade said. She nodded to the others. "Hey, Kyla. Amy."

"Kyra."

"Whatever."

"Jade..?"

"Okay, fine. Sorry. Hi, Kyra."

Kyra looked for a moment as though she were going to push for _'Mistress_ Kyra', but thought better of it.

"So who were you talking to?"

"Some weird bitch. I'll tell you later. So, Amy," Jade turned her attention to the other girl, who seemed taken aback. "All set for the trial?"

"Er..."

"Nervous?" Jade said. "You should be. It sounds pretty brutal, I hope they've got the medic on standby."

Amy blanched visibly. "What?"

"Jade!" Tori scolded. "I'm sorry, Amy, don't mind her, she's just trying to freak you out. She's got this whole 'psychology' thing going." She glared at Jade, who just shrugged. "Amy's feeling a little down at the moment," she said, pointedly. "Why don't you have a chat, reassure her."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. Go on."

"How am I going to reassure her?" Jade said. "For all I know, this is my last night on earth."

"Not helping."

"Right, fine." She snatched the drink out of Tori's hand and shoved it into Amy's. "Come on, you."

By the look on Amy's face, being 'reassured' by Jade was somewhere on a par with Aunt Claudia and the trial, but she followed her and the two moved out of earshot.

"Right," Jade said. "Tori wants me to give you a pep-talk, so here goes." She took a deep breath. "I don't want to be here, you don't want to be here, but for whatever reason, we _are_ here, so we're just going to give it our best shot, put our heads down, and get through it the best we can. It's probably going to be gross, _definitely_ going to be humiliating, but that's the way it goes. If we're head-to-head, I won't try to hurt you, but I will try to win. Got it?"

Amy looked at her for a moment, and blinked.

"You're terrified, aren't you?" she said.

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Kyra looked slightly worried. "Are you sure she's-"

"That's just her way," Tori said, fondly. Something occurred to her. "What did your aunt mean by 'the Club will do the rest'?" she said.

Kyra shrugged. "I don't know," she said. "At first I just thought she meant advice, or facilities, that kind of thing. But now..."

"Now?"

"It just feels wrong. Like we're all waiting for something… _bad_ to happen."

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"What?" Jade took offence. "Of course not."

"Yes you are." Amy said. "Why?"

Amy had the kind of open, sympathetic gentleness that disarmed people. Jade didn't like to be disarmed.

"I just said-"

"It's not the trial, is it?" she said. "I heard what you did in the Red Room. It's something else. What are you frightened of?"

"Nothing."

"It's this place, isn't it? Something in here."

"Well, doesn't it frighten you? The way these people act?"

"It depresses me, sure," Amy said. "This is the most depressing place I've ever been. But it doesn't _frighten_ me, because I know I can always walk away any time I want, and take Kyra with me." Her eyes narrowed. "But _you_ can't, can you?" she said. "You can't walk away. Why not? Is it Tori? Does she make you do this?"

"No!"

"Then why?"

"I… don't want to talk about it."

"Okay, okay," Amy said, soothingly. "But if you ever do, you can always talk to me, I'm a good listener." She glanced over to Kyra. "I guess we'd better go. Our 'mistresses' will be missing us."

"I guess." Jade turned to follow her, but something caught her eye over Amy's shoulder. "Listen," she said, "tell them I'll be there in a minute. There's someone I've got to see."

"Okay," Amy said. "Oh, and just for the record, you don't need to worry about hurting me." She grinned. "I'm tougher than I look." She headed back towards the others, and Jade turned toward the bathroom, where she thought she'd seen a familiar face disappearing.

"Stephanie!" Jade had a soft spot for the little blonde girl who seemed so out of place here, a little bubbly island of reality. The figure by the sink turned.

"Mistress?"

"Don't start that again," Jade laughed. "It's me, Jade. Remember?"

But it was clear that Stephanie didn't. Or at least not entirely. Her expression registered only confusion. "Jade?"

"Yeah. You know, from the other night."

"Er…"

Jade looked closer at Stephanie's face. Her eyes were glazed, as if she'd been drinking, but she didn't look drunk. "Stephanie?" she said. "Are you all right?"

"Yes. Everything's fine," Stephanie said, her voice distant and uncertain. "I…"

A cold feeling began to grow in the pit of Jade's stomach. _There's something wrong with the subs_. She moved towards the other girl, carefully. "Look," she said, "why don't we go and sit down and you can-"

"I have to go," Stephanie said, suddenly. "My mistress will be waiting." She moved to push past Jade towards the door.

"Hey, hold on!" Jade said, grabbing her. "I need to talk to you."

"Leave me alone."

"What's going on in here?" a voice barked from the doorway.

Security. _Damn it._ She couldn't get too close to any of these goons in case one of them turned out to be her victim from the break-in. "Nothing," she muttered. Stephanie slipped out of her grasp and was gone, leaving her alone under the steely gaze of the security guard. She put her head down, and pushed past, into the hall, but there was no sign of Stephanie in the crowd. If she'd been less focused on finding her, she might have noticed a change in the atmosphere, the hushed murmur of expectation. But as it was, she made her way back over to Tori.

"Listen," she said, urgently. "I've just seen Stephanie in the bathroom, and there's something wrong with her. She's all spaced out, like she's… Tori? Hey, Vega. Are you even listening to me?"

But Tori wasn't. Tori was staring over her shoulder towards the stage, where the curtains were slowly drawing back. Jade turned to follow her gaze, and felt the clammy hand of fate tighten on her throat when she saw what Marla had in store for her.

She recognized it at once. Well, of course she did.

It was the most familiar sight in the world.

 _A simple test of endurance._

"Oh. My. God."


	50. Chapter 50 - The Road to Calvary

**I'm sorry this took so long. I'm not suggesting this is** ** _actually_** **what goes on in clubs like this, obviously, but we're writing an adventure story, not a treatise on BDSM, so you'll just have to go with it for the time being. So - why does the Diamond Club exist? What is it for?**

 **And who _is_ the girl in the cellar?**

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 **And also, where's my cake? I was promised cake.**

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.

Holly stood in the street, fuming. Marla's latest lead had been a total washout. She'd done all the usual, laid the silver card on the desk, given her all the spiel about 'exclusivity', the ultimate fantasy, the whole nine yards, and the woman had laughed her out of the office. She'd never been so humiliated in her life.

How could Marla have got it so wrong? She was supposed to be able to spot these women, for Heaven's sake. That was her _job_. Too many refusals and word was going to get around, and they couldn't afford that. But then they couldn't afford not to try, either. They desperately needed another investor, otherwise they were going to have to raise the membership rates again, and even these deluded old windbags were going to start asking questions. There were already discreet enquiries about _when_ , exactly, they were going to get to meet the esteemed 'President' of the club, the fabled 'E.B.' who's hand-written epistles from Europe, signed in red ink, were read out at the private members' meetings. A laughable impossibility, Holly knew, short of sending them all to Hell.

Which she would happily have done, if her house didn't depend on them.

But then Marla seemed to have lost all sense, treating the Club like her own private circus, running T.T. on whoever she felt like, dishing it out like candy without a thought to the consequences. And in the meantime Holly was left doing all the work, running around, juggling the investors and their counterweights, trying to keep the whole rotten edifice from collapsing around their ears. Because now, Marla had a new obsession.

 _Jade_. Holly had said she'd deal with the situation, but Marla couldn't leave it alone, the sickness that Holly had thought she was helping to cure spilling out into needless cruelty. Holly began to feel desperately sorry for the poor girl - beaten, confused, dragged into a world of baffling moral inversion without a word of explanation, a victim of circumstances beyond her control. She wondered if Jade would ever know what she was, what she represented. Nemesis? Salvation, maybe. Either way, the four of them – Jade, Tori, Holly and Marla – seemed doomed to dance a fool's jig that had started the day Tori's grandfather had packed his bags and left.

She should have taken more care, done a little more research. Maybe approached Jade herself, offered her membership. But instead she'd packed Tori off to school with her lunch money and her fancy speech in her pocket, and when Jade had come trotting along obediently, she'd thought all would be well. But of course, Tori had thought all her Christmases had come at once, and Holly had discovered just how pernicious her grandmother's influence had really been. It was a miracle Jade hadn't left within the week. Or worse.

But she hadn't. At exactly the moment she should have gone, she'd stayed. And alarm bells should have started ringing all over the place. Because a girl like Jade might suffer any amount of indignity and pain for her own gratification, but she'd never stand for being treated like an idiot, not by someone like Tori. And then there was the break-in...

It was painfully obvious that Jade had her own agenda. She clearly loved Tori, a fact for which Holly was eternally grateful - it would have been way too easy, given the circumstances, for Jade to turn her over, break her, do her some _real_ psychological damage. That happened often enough in the game and Jade was more than capable of it. But instead the bond between them seemed stronger than it had ever been, a fierce loyalty that had long since superseded that between mother and daughter. So she was after something else.

The truth.

How does it feel, Holly? How does it feel to be the worst person you know? Claudia's deluded, Marla's probably insane, and the rest of them are lost in a fantasy world that _you_ created. But you, you're different. You know how it should work, you know what's wrong with all this, and yet you're _still doing it_. You're _making_ it happen. You even gave her the _name_ , for Christ's sake.

 _Totus Tuus._

You sold your soul, Holly. And for what? Trina rejected you and now you've lost Tori. Even your friends are only loyal to you because of the Club. It has to stop. If you gave it all up now, what would you lose?

Everything. The Club wasn't solvent enough to realize her investment. And she'd have to face David. Have to tell him that she'd gambled everything they'd both worked for, and lost it.

Tonight. Just get through tonight. She allowed herself a good solid minute of cursing, and stepped through the door of the Diamond Club, into madness.

.

.

.

Stark and simple, they towered above the stage, silhouetted by a soft, red glow.

Three wooden crosses.

 _Ecce Cruce Domina._

No," said Tori, in horror. "No, no, no, no. We're not doing this. No way."

"Tori..."

"I said _no_! We're going home."

"No, we're not," Jade said, quietly.

"What?"

"You said we were here as equals. It's not up to you."

"For God's sake, Jade, this isn't about control, or discipline, or any of that crap!" Tori said. "You're my _girlfriend_. I'm not going to stand here and watch you... up _there_."

In any other circumstances, Jade would have agreed. She had no desire to be 'up there', and the thought of making Tori watch was sickening. But the alternative was worse - to be led ignominiously out of the Club in defeat, knowing she'd probably never find out the truth. Tori's antics had ensured that the Club would close its doors to them forever after tonight - they were too much trouble, two grains of grit in the lube of 'domination'.

"It'll be okay."

"Okay?" Tori echoed. "How can it be _'okay'_? It's crucifixion, Jade! You do know what crucifixion's _for_ , don't you?"

"Oh come on, Tori," Jade said. " _Look_ at them. Look how they're built."

Tori stared at her in disbelief. "I don't give a shit about the quality of the _woodwork_ , Jade! I'm not going to feel any better knowing you're going to meet your maker without getting a splinter in your ass!"

"That's not what I mean," Jade hissed. "This isn't some shoddy crap they've knocked up in five minutes. These are professionally _built_."

"So?"

"So, someone must _build_ them," she said, "which means someone must _use_ them. Not even this Club's stupid enough to flat-out murder people on stage, Tori. There's padding on the shackles, for fuck's sake, and I'm pretty sure the Romans didn't go to all that trouble. Ridiculous though it sounds to you, and me, and anyone with an ounce of common sense, this is an actual thing that people _do_." She looked back at the stage, and bit her lip. "And if _they_ can do it, so can I."

"Oh, my God. I knew it."

"What?"

"You actually _want_ to do it, don't you? You want to _prove_ you can do it."

"No!"

"What is it with you?" Tori demanded. "Why has everything got to be about the 'challenge'? Why can't you ever just walk away?"

"Because there are things I need to know!"

"Like what? What are you going to find out up there? The only way you're going to find Sally by doing this is if she's already dead and you end up joining her!"

"Tori!"

"I'm sorry, Jade, but I can't let you do this."

"You promised me."

"I... What?"

"You promised me that whatever happened tonight, you'd back me up."

"I didn't mean this!"

"I know it's not exactly what I was expecting but..."

"Where's my mom?" Tori looked around, angrily. "If this was her idea-"

"Forget your mom, Tori. This isn't about her. Look, Marla's coming."

"Ah, ladies," Marla glided up to them. "I see you're admiring our little set up."

"I-" Tori started to say something, but the heel of Jade's boot came down on her toe.

"Why are there three of them?" Jade said, without preamble.

"Three..?"

"Cat and Hayley aren't here, so why three crosses?"

"Oh, that. Well," said Marla, "it occurred to me that having you compete against each other hardly proves anything, does it? All it means is that we get the best of a bad bunch. So I decided to give you something to measure up against."

"Measure up against?"

"An experienced sub. One who might... test you a little."

"You're making someone _else_ do this?" Tori said, incredulously.

"I'm not _making_ anyone do anything." Marla sounded surprised. "People just like to please me. I suppose it's just my natural charm."

Tori was about to venture an opinion on Marla's natural charm but Jade interrupted. "Who is it?"

Marla smiled. "An old friend of yours."

Jade looked over her shoulder. Across the crowd, she could see a familiar figure limbering up.

Trixie.

 _I'm sunk._

"So?" Marla was saying, "do I have your consent?" There was a mocking tone to her voice. "Or should I tell Trixie that she wins this round?"

There was a slight groan from Tori, who recognized a button being pushed when she saw it. Jade looked from Trixie, to the crosses, to the pained expression on Tori's face, and finally back to Marla.

"On one condition."

"Condition?" Marla echoed. "This is a trial of your _submission,_ Jade. You're hardly in a position to be making demands."

"I think I am, _Mistress_ ," Jade said, sourly. "Because without me, you've got no show, have you? If I don't do it, I'm guessing Amy won't do it, and all these people are going to be pretty disappointed."

Marla considered this. "What's your condition?"

Jade glanced at Tori, who looked cautiously hopeful. "We stay dressed."

"Dressed?"

"As we are. And no one touches us while we're up there. I don't want anyone gawping and groping at us. This is just about me, Amy, and the cross."

She heard Tori grind her teeth in frustration. Marla shrugged. "Very well," she said, dismissively. "You can keep your clothes on, such as they are. What you wear is up to your domme, anyway. You'll have to take the boots off though, they'll interfere with the trial."

"Fine."

Marla pushed the form in front of her. "So?"

Jade took the pen.

.

.

.

"No. That's it. We're leaving."

"Like hell we are."

"What?"

"I let you drag me into this, Kyra. I let you bring me here and trail me around like a puppy, so all your little friends can poke and laugh at me, and call me a slut, and all that other crap that gets them off. And I did it because I love you, and I want you to be happy, and because you want to impress Aunt Claudia and get your hands on her money."

"Amy!"

"What? You think I don't know? I'm not an idiot. I know why you crawl around her all the time, why you let her say crazy stuff about me when you think I can't hear."

"But I don't mean-"

"I _know_ , Kyra. I know you don't believe the stuff she says. If I thought for a minute you did, I wouldn't let you near me with a ten-foot pole. But the point is, I do it for _you_. And now I finally have a chance to do something, something that doesn't just involve staring at the floor, or answering stupid questions, or dancing like a dog, something that Aunt Claudia couldn't do if she had a crane and a team of horses to get her fat ass off the ground. So you're going to have to suck it up and watch me. That's what you can do for _me_."

"Please, Amy..."

"If Jade's doing it, _I'm_ doing it."

"Jade?"

"We had a kind of... pact. Well, not a pact, exactly. An understanding."

"And what if she doesn't do it?"

"Oh, she'll do it, all right," Amy said. "And I'm going to make sure she doesn't do it alone."

.

.

.

"Is that it?" Tori fumed.

"What?"

"Your one condition is that you get to keep your damned _pants_ on? Out of everything that's wrong with this, _that's_ what you're concerned about?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because it's the little things people do, Tori," she said, coldly, "that rob you of your dignity. Now hush. I gotta go talk to Trixie."

.

.

.

"Trixie!"

"Jade." The Russian accent was heavy but friendly. "How are you, my little tovarisch?"

"Never mind that," Jade snapped. "What the hell are you doing? You don't have to do this!"

"I know. I was asked."

"Who by? Marla?"

"Marla wouldn't _dare_ ask me. She asked Danielle, and Danielle asked me, and I said yes."

"But why?"

Trixie shrugged. "For the challenge."

"Don't let Tori hear you say that."

"Besides, I want to see if you can beat me when you _don't_ get to whisper in my ear."

Jade reddened, and Trixie laughed. "Don't worry, I don't hold it against you. Sometimes you have to do anything to win. Would you like me to give you some tips?"

Jade blinked in surprise. "You've done this before?"

"Of course. Never _up there_ ," she raised her eyes, " but then, gravity is no harsher off the ground than on it. Less so, if you think about it."

"What?"

"Do they teach you nothing in school? Ah, of course not. The performing arts."

"Hey!"

"So, the important thing is to alternate the weight between your arms and legs, rest each in turn."

"Legs?"

"There is a footpeg for you to stand on."

Of course. That would explain the measurements. Trixie seemed to sense her surprise.

"This isn't supposed to be _torture_ , Jade," she said. "It's a test of balance and stamina. It's surprisingly good for the back and shoulders. And of course," she added, solemnly, "we get to follow in the footsteps of Our Lord Jesus Christ."

"Er…"

Trixie laughed again. "I'm joking with you," she said. "I am not a – what's the word? Basket case. But it's true about the exercise. It's a very good workout. Look at me."

"What about you?"

"How old do you think I am?"

"Um..." This was one of those trick questions. "Thirty... five?" Jade ventured.

"Forty-six."

"Wow."

"Danielle keeps me young."

"And you couldn't just go to the gym?"

"And where's the fun in that?"

"You think this is _fun_?"

"Not now, maybe. But it used to be." Trixie smiled. "And it will be again. They can't keep this up for ever. One day the Sisterhood will fall, and the Club will be ours again." She tilted her head, questioningly. "Would you like me to let you win?"

 _Yes, oh, God, yes please, Trixie, let me win._

"No."

 _Damn it, West._

"Good," Trixie nodded. "That is how it should be." She reached out, and brushed the side of Jade's face. "Take care, my friend. See you on the other side."

"Okay, I…" Jade hesitated. "Trixie," she said, "will you do something for me?"

"Of course."

"If anything _does_ happen tonight-"

"It won't."

"But if it does, would you look out for a girl called Stephanie? Blonde, about so tall, dressed as a sub. I saw her earlier and I'm worried about her, I think she's… I think she needs to get out of here."

"I'll do that."

"Thanks, Trixie."

"Now go. The challenge awaits."

Jade turned and left, pausing only to cast a last glance at the woman behind her.

 _Trixie. The last of the Titans. A giant in a world grown small._

.

.

.

By the time she'd made her way through the crowd, Holly was incandescent with fury. "What in _God's_ name are you playing at, Marla?"

"What? You didn't want the Olympics, so I had to arrange something else. I don't see the problem. We've used them before."

"Not with the hoists!" Holly hissed. "What happens if something goes wrong up there?"

"Relax, Holly. I have extra staff on hand." She waved towards one of the black-clad security guards.

"These clowns?" Holly said. "They're not trained to do anything!"

"I'm pretty sure they can handle a block and tackle, Holly," Marla said, sharply. "And the medic's on standby."

"No," Holly said. "You've gone too far with this. What the hell is this supposed to achieve?"

"It's a _trial_ , Holly. It's not supposed to 'achieve' anything. It's very pointlessness is the point, you know that as well as I do."

"This is about her, isn't it?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"For Christ's sake, I said I'd deal with it."

"And you're not doing, are you?" Marla snapped. "Instead she's running around all over the place making us look like fools with that stupid daughter of yours. So now _I'm_ dealing with it. She needs discipline."

"This isn't _discipline_ , Marla, this is just victimization! And you of all people should know about that."

Marla turned on her. "Victimization?" she snarled. "Don't you dare talk to me about 'victimization', Holly. These little tramps want this! They're begging for it, it's what gives their pathetic little lives meaning. But _I_ didn't ask for it, did I, Holly? _I_ didn't get to sign a consent form, I didn't get a say. I didn't get to _choose_ what your mother did to me in that filthy little cellar. So no, Holly, this isn't 'victimization'. They're getting everything they deserve."

"Please, Marla, for the love of God, you have to let it go."

"Let it go? She took everything from me, Holly!"

"And I'm sorry! Jesus, Marla, I've spent the last twenty years trying to make it up to you. But it's not their fault!"

"Yes it is! Because if they weren't so… spineless, so fucking docile, then people like your _mother_ wouldn't exist! No, Holly. The trial is going ahead. No one else is complaining. So if you want to stay, and support your daughter - _silently_ \- then be my guest. Otherwise I'll have security escort you out of the building."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Try me."

.

.

.

There was an awed hush as the three subs and their dommes approached the stage, the crowd drawing back to leave an empty space, a pool of light surrounding the six figures. There was a uneasy atmosphere among the six of them, Tori and Jade's previous encounter with Danielle still hanging in the air, but still the feeling of being on show made them draw closer, close enough for hushed whispers to go unheard by the crowd.

.

"You okay?" Jade murmured to Amy.

"Yeah. You?"

"I've had better days."

"Who's she?" Amy's eyes flickered sideways toward the statuesque figure of Trixie. Trixie saw them looking and acknowledged them with a nod.

"Trixie," Jade said. "Or Theresa. She's all right. She's kind of a friend."

.

"I can't believe you're letting her do this."

"I didn't have much choice."

"Me neither. What in God's name are we even _doing_ here, Tori?"

.

"You know, you would feel much better if you apologized."

"She attacked me!"

"She defended her girlfriend, Dani. We've been through this. What did you expect her to do?"

"Right, fine. If it makes you feel better."

"Not now. Not here. But there is something you can do for her."

"What?"

"Tell Holly Vega to find a girl called Stephanie. Take her home. Keep her safe."

.

Silence fell completely as Marla took to the stage. She stood triumphant for a moment, Nero addressing the Coliseum. "Ladies. Dommes. Members of the Sisterhood. Welcome."

She moved, the click of her heels on the stage audible across the room. "Tonight, we have a trial. The final trial for our two new applicants, Mistress Tori and Mistress Kyra."

A light smatter of applause rippled through the room, tempered by the memory of Tori's outrageous behavior. "Some would say the _ultimate_ trial," Marla went on. "For what better way to prove your devotion, what deeper act of submission, what _finer_ path to resurrection and rebirth in the service of your mistress than this. Behold the cross!" She made a sweeping gesture across the stage. "The very _symbol_ of sacrifice, the test beyond all tests! _Igne natura renovatur integra_!" This time there was a cheer, and it occurred to Jade that you could shout practically anything in Latin and people would cheer. Marla seemed pleased with the effect, and her eyes gleamed with an unpleasant intensity. She gestured to Kyra, Tori and Danielle. "Ladies, you may take your places."

The six of them ascended the stage to a murmur of excitement from the crowd, and Jade got her first look at the base of the cross. There was a platform resting on the stage itself for her to stand on while she was restrained - behind it, driven into the wood of the upright, was a short, stubby length of wood no wider than a broom handle. This, then, was the footpeg. It didn't look comfortable, but then it wasn't supposed to be comfortable. Marla said something she didn't quite catch.

"What was that?" she hissed to Tori.

"You need to stand on the stool."

Jade did so, turning to face the crowd, and felt an unfamiliar feeling sweep over her. Stage-fright. She had stage-fright here, of all places. Her palms were sweating.

"Ladies," Marla's voice boomed. "These are the rules. Your subs do this in your name. They are your responsibility. If you agree, then you may step forward and secure them. Once they are in place, the trial begins. Your sub will remain in place until _either_ of you use the safeword." She smiled. "This is a test not just of their resolution, but of yours."

"Don't you dare," Jade muttered, as she saw the tiny glimmer of hope in Tori's eyes.

"The trial will end when only one sub remains on their cross. The others will be judged accordingly. Ladies, please prepare."

Tori moved as though her limbs were made of lead. "I can't believe I'm doing this."

"It'll be fine," Jade said. "Come on. Let's just get it over with."

"But why? Why do we have to do it at all?"

"Because... if nothing else, they can hardly throw us out after we've passed the 'ultimate test', can they? How's that going to look?"

"But we don't care about being thrown out!"

"We have to keep our foot in the door, Tori."

"But-"

"Please."

Tori sighed in resignation. "Arms," she said, dully. Jade lifted one arm into position, and Tori set to work on the buckles.

There was something about the way Tori yanked at the straps, the heavy breathing, the hard set of her face, that reminded Jade of something. It took a moment for her to realize what it was - the times when Tori had punished her in anger, with that grim determination that said she believed, in some way, that Jade _deserved_ it. It seemed so long ago, so unimaginable, that to catch a glimpse of it now shocked her.

"Other arm."

She lifted her other arm into place at the command, and felt the leather on her wrist. Spread like this, it was almost erotic, being helpless before Tori's suppressed fury, and she was forced to confront the uncomfortable truth that part of what had attracted her to her original plan in the first place was the _danger_ of it, the excitement of laying herself at the mercy of someone who had no reason to treat her kindly and every reason to hurt her, just to see what would happen. _It's exactly that kind of recklessness_ , she chided herself, _that gets you into situations like this_. But she couldn't leave it like that.

"Tori..."

"What?"

"Tori, please."

Tori stopped what she was doing. Jade hesitated, suddenly embarrassed. "I love you."

Tori's expression softened. "I know you do," she said. "And I love you too. I'm just… worried about you."

"I know. But it's all going to be okay. We beat Danielle and Trixie, remember? And that was all about pain. This? This is just hanging around for a while. Piece of cake. Walk in the park."

"But-"

"Some people do this for _fun_ , Tori. Hell, even I'd rather be doing this than, I dunno, watching drag racing."

Tori managed a half-smile. "Then I promise I'll never make you do that," she said.

"Your humble slave thanks you kindly."

That got a snort out of the other girl. "If I ever thought you were _that_ ," she said, "then I need my head examining." She reached out and tightened the last strap. "Okay, you're done." She stood back, and sighed. " _Please_ be careful, Jade. I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you."

"I will."

"And use the safeword."

"Yes, Mom."

"Jade!"

"Now wish me luck."

Tori leaned in and planted a kiss on the other girl's lips. "Break a leg," she whispered. She paused. "Only don't actually break a leg or anything, I don't want you to-"

"I get it. Now go."

Tori stepped reluctantly away from the cross, and signaled to Marla that they were ready. Jade closed her eyes for a moment, and wondered what her dad would make of it all, sat at home with his book and his pipe, his back to the picture, still trying to make sense of the world. _Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do..._

Music began. Not even Handel's 'Messiah', either, Jade noted, which might at least have added a touch of class to the proceedings, but 'O Fortuna', it's stomping familiarity entirely in keeping with the dreadful melodramatics of the scene. As the music began to swell, Marla appeared at the front of the stage, and addressed them directly for the first time, her voice raised.

"Subs, you know what is required of you!" she announced. " _Perfer et obdura! Dolor hic tibi proderit olim_!"

She turned to face the audience. "Let the trial begin!"

Off to the sides of the stage, black-clad figures began to haul in earnest, and the sound of heavy chain thrashing though the pulley had a brutality, a coldness, that set Jade's teeth on edge. She felt the cross begin to rise.

Faces. She could see faces, picked out by the lights, upturned, watching. Tori and Kyra, close together, their expressions anxious and fearful. Danielle, dignified but nervous. Holly, with a look of resigned desolation, flanked by two security staff, and Marla. Marla's expression was the worst of all. Marla was… _waiting_.

As the cross rose, she became aware of something else, too. A sound behind the music, beyond the clank of the chains, something other than the thud of her heartbeat in her ears. Something that stirred memories.

They were chanting.

And the fear began to rise.


	51. Chapter 51 - Descent

_"Well, here we are, Sally. The moment of truth. Still sure you want to go in?"_

 _"I don't know. I'm kind of nervous, now."_

 _"Relax. I'm sure Holly will look after us."_

 _"Holly?"_

 _"My... friend."_

 _The girl grinned at her reticence. "What about you?" she said, with a nudge. "Are you nervous?"_

 _Caroline blushed. "A little."_

 _"Been a long time, huh?"_

 _"A very long time."_

 _"Was she hot?"_

 _"Sally!"_

 _"Just asking."_

 _"...Yes, she was."_

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _"You know, Sally, you have the filthiest laugh I've ever heard."_

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _._

Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. Trixie had told her to rest her weight on the footpeg, but the footpeg was too far away. She could reach it, _just_ , by twisting her leg awkwardly, getting the ball of her foot to it, but she couldn't take any pressure. She twisted her head, painfully, to glance at the other two. Trixie was motionless, carved of stone, practically a statue, her muscles moving silently beneath her skin. Amy was writhing, her face set in intense concentration, as if she'd worked out a routine of her own. Neither of them seemed to be suffering the way she was. She flexed her ankle to gain some relief, and felt a bolt of pain shoot up her leg. _Fuck._

It couldn't go on. She was already beginning to feel dangerously delirious, the pounding of the music and the heat of the lights screwing with her senses. _How long have I been up here?_ She knew it could only be minutes, but pain was the ultimate time dilation device, turning minutes into hours, hours into days, two weeks into a lifetime. She wanted to go to the happy place, but the steady chanting of the crowd wouldn't let her. She couldn't risk it. If she let herself drift, the voices would take her to the _other_ place. The place in the woods. The endless rhythm of _their_ voices, unified by hate, by pleasure in her pain.

 _These people are not those people_. She told herself. _They think this is a game. They asked me if I'd do it._ But still she tried not to listen to what they were saying, because if it was what she _thought_ it was, she knew that she'd start to cry.

I can't do this.

 _Yes, you can._

Sally? Is that you?

 _I'm coming home soon, Jadey. Very soon. And then what a time we'll have, you and me. Together. Just like the old days._

I'd like that, Sal. I'd like that so much.

 _But first you have something you need to do._

I can't. I'm not strong enough.

 _Yes, you are._

But it hurts! It hurts so _much_! I can't win this!

 _But you don't need to win, do you?_

But-

 _You just need to find out the truth._

And she slipped. The full weight of her body came down on her arms, wrenching her shoulder from its socket, her feet dangling helplessly far from the peg. The scream cut through the music like a gunshot, the chant disintegrating into a babble of confusion and consternation.

"Marla!" Holly broke away from her chaperones, racing towards the stage. "Marla! Get her down, for God's sake!"

But Marla didn't move, she simply stood there, the calm at the eye of the storm. "She hasn't said the safeword," she murmured.

"The..?" Holly gaped at her. "Never mind the fucking safeword! Get her down!"

Marla turned reluctantly to give the order, but she didn't need to. A blur of long legs and leather flew past them towards the corner of the stage. "Get her _down_!" Tori screeched at the pulley operators. "Get her down _now_!" The figures glanced at Marla for guidance, but Tori had her shoe in her hand, stiletto heel at the ready, a look of fury in her eyes, and the two women turned to their task and began to lower the crosses.

The journey down was agonizingly slow, every jolt of the chains bringing a fresh wave of pain through Jade's dislocated shoulder, and with it a wince across Tori's face. Before the hoist had fully lowered, Tori was already tearing at the shackles, and for a moment it seemed as though she might do more harm than good, that Jade would fall before she had her feet on the ground. The buckle came free just as she landed, and she fell forward into the other girls arms.

"The medic," Jade croaked. "Get me to the medic."

Tori ducked under Jade's good arm, lifting it across her shoulder, and together they made their way through the madding crowd. The white-coated figure of the medic appeared and tried to help, but Tori shooed her away. She didn't want help - she'd carried Jade to bed after the Club, Jade had carried her down the same steps to the hospital. They carried each other, that was how it was. But she could feel tears coming. What had Jade said that night? _You stupid little girl. How could you?_ Jade seemed to sense the anger. "I'm sorry," she managed. "I tried to-"

"Shut up."

"But-"

"I said, shut up!" Tori hissed. "I swear to God, Jade, if you do this again, if you pull one more stupid stunt like this, I'll kill you."

"Gee, thanks."

"This isn't funny, Jade! Do you have any idea how _frightened_ I was?"

"It wasn't my fault!" Jade protested. There was a sharp intake of breath as her shoulder grated in its socket. "They fucked up."

"Of course it was your fault! I begged you not to... What do you mean, they fucked up?"

"The peg wasn't where it was supposed to be," Jade said. "I could hardly reach it. I slipped."

"They..?" Tori was horrified. "They were supposed to measure it! Right, that's it. That is _so_ it," she said, angrily. "We are going to sue this place until the roof falls in. I'll get my mom to..." The body in her arms seemed to shake. "Jade?"

"Your mom?" Jade was laughing with a rasping wheeze. "Your _mom's_ not going to do anything."

"She will!"

"She won't, Tori." She managed a glance back to where Marla and Holly were still arguing under the watchful eye of the security guards. "She's in too deep."

"Then I'll get my _dad_ to do it."

"Tori, please," Jade said. "I'm in agony here. Can we just-"

"In here." The voice of the medic cut in, brusquely, and they realized she'd been following. Somewhere behind them the other two were being released and checked over, craning their necks over the crowd to see if she was all right. The medic directed them into the dressing room.

"Sit."

Jade sat, Tori perched anxiously next to her. The medic ran a hand over Jade's shoulder, critically. "It's dislocated."

"I know that, Braniac," Jade said, gritting her teeth. "What are you going to do about... _aaaargh!"_

With one hard shove the medic popped the joint back into its socket. "Now it's not."

" _Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck_!" Jade squealed. "You _bitch!"_

"There'll be some discomfort," the medic said, without a trace of sarcasm.

"Too fucking right there'll be... Oh, Jesus, that hurts!" She looked up, eyes red and burning. "Give it to me."

"What?"

"You _know_ what. Give it to me!"

The medic hesitated. She'd had conflicting orders regarding this one. But Marla's wrath was worse than Holly's, and the girl in front of her was in genuine pain. She reached into her pocket, Jade's eyes following, and pulled out a small glass bottle and a syringe. She looked to Tori, as though it was her decision, but Tori only shrugged helplessly, unable to contradict. The medic pushed the syringe into the bottle, and drew out a clear liquid.

Jade watched. Her plan hadn't really taken her any further than this. She'd imagined that maybe she'd be able to grab the bottle and make a run for it, escape in the confusion, but that wasn't going to happen. She wouldn't make it ten feet even if she had Tori on side to help - they'd never be able to overpower this woman, not with her arm like this, and even if they did there was still a Club full of security out there.

Holly hadn't wanted her to do this. Holly had panicked at the thought. Why? _Because there's something wrong._ Something bad that could happen. What? An overdose? The medic would know what they were doing.

So something else. She closed her eyes briefly. There was only one way to find out. She offered up a small prayer, then realized it was useless. If God hadn't stepped in for the original show, he certainly wasn't going to show up for this crappy little remake.

The medic was still waiting for her arm. She held out the injured one. It hurt, but she'd rather have her good arm free. Because now she had a plan.

The seconds drew out as she watched the medic press the needle to the vein. There were no niceties, no dab of anesthetic, no soothing words, just placid concentration. It slipped beneath the skin, its pinprick of pain a drop in the ocean. And then the plunger began its slow journey downwards.

 _Just enough_. Just enough to know. Then she'd knock it away, fake a fit, faint at the sight of blood, anything. It would cause enough confusion that there was a chance, just a chance, that she could make a...

 _I'm sorry, Jadey. I'm so sorry._

Sal? What the-

 _But that's not going to happen._

And then she felt it, like the distant roar of a tidal wave, the howling wind, the pressure that heralds the storm, and she knew with a terrible certainty the she wasn't going to be faking _anything._ Not now. Something was racing toward her, something bad, something that was riding the river of poison in her veins, streaking up through her body, something that wouldn't stop until it tore her apart. _Oh God, no..._

" _Tori_..."

But Tori wasn't going to stop it. _Nothing_ was going to stop it. The darkness was coming.

How could you, Sal? How _could_ you?

 _You know. You've always known._

She reached out, clawing at her arm, the needle wrenching out from under the skin, blood spattering against the white coat of the terrified medic. Tori sprang forward, knocking the woman aside, but there was nothing she could do as Jade began to convulse violently, rolling from the bench to the ground, hands grasping feverishly across the polished wooden floor. The medic began to shout for help but Jade knew it was too late, even as her vision began to blur. There was just time for her to see Holly crash into the room, her mouth a horrified ' _O_ ', just time for her fingers to make one last frantic grasp towards what she sought, just time for her to see Tori's face, white with fear, before she felt herself slipping away, her eyes rolling back into her head, a last gasp of _sorry_ on her lips.

And she was gone.

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 _...the beating of wings..._


	52. Chapter 52 - The Sound of Her Wings

_…_ _the beating of wings…_

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _And Jade West flies._

 _High over the tops of the trees, against the warm glow of the sun and the pale disc of the moon, she flies._

 _._

 _She sees the girl in the forest, surrounded by cruelty, pushed beyond the limits of despair. She hears the sound of their voices, watches the faces cracked with grins, and she comes down, like the angel of Death on mighty wings, falling, faster and faster, howling through the trees, casting away the tormentors, and she goes to the girl and pulls the filthy sack from her head, and underneath there is..._

 _Nothing. Nothing at all._

 _And then she hears laughter. Not their laughter, but a different kind, one that rings with a terrible familiarity. Mocking her, taunting her._

 _Who are you? What are you? Where will you stand when the hammer falls?_

 _And she looks up, shielding her eyes against the sun, but it isn't the sun. It's the shattered face of a brass compass, its needle pointing South East._

 _As she watches, the needle begins to move._

 _._

 _She sees a girl laid helpless on the Red Room floor. A woman crouches over her, anxious and panicked, watching the door, waiting for help that never comes. Finally the woman draws back her hand, and strikes with a single blow._

 _._

 _She sees an upturned boat in the middle of the lake, surrounded by stars. Five stars, arms outstretched, hair floating like tendrils in the current, open-mouthed but silent. How could you, Sal? What have you done?_

 _But she looks again, and now there are only four._

 _._

 _She sees eyes, dark and soulless, eyes too old for a face so young, and she feels the fear begin to rise as the bag lifts and the darkness comes._

 _She sees the same eyes again, but this time the face is older, and there are no trees, only a forest of cold stares and elegant futility._

 _But the darkness is the same._

 _._

 _She sees a girl sat in a dusty classroom, watching the clock tick silently towards the hour. She picks up her pencils for the last time, and wipes angry tears from the paper._

 _._

 _She sees a woman in a long blue dress, standing by an open fire, a picture of faded elegance. As she watches, the woman holds out her hand, and in it is a letter._

 _._

 _She sees a hospital bed, and a couple standing by it, holding one another awkwardly as they watch over the girl who lays there. After a moment the woman lays her head on the shoulders of the man, and whispers a single word. 'Again.'_

 _._

 _She sees a girl walking along the shore. She calls to her but the girl doesn't turn, just keeps walking. She begins to run towards her, faster and faster, trying to catch up, but the girl just keeps getting further away. Finally she falls to her knees, helpless in defeat, her tears lost in the sand._

 _And then she feels a hand on her shoulder._

 _I'm here._

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"Mom!"

"What the hell are you doing?" Holly yelled at the hapless medic. "I told you not to give her that!"

"But Marla said-"

"Jesus Christ, what kind of..." She dropped to her knees next to Jade, lifting her eyelids. "Where's your bag?" she snapped.

"What?"

"Your bag!" Holly snatched it from her, and tipped its contents onto the floor, searching. "It's not here. Fuck, where is it?"

"I don't-"

"Never mind. Go to the office, top left-hand drawer of my desk. There's a box. Bring it."

The medic disappeared. Tori turned to Holly, ashen-faced. "What's going on?"

"She's having a reaction to the meds. Try to keep her warm. Try to keep her conscious."

Tori wrapped her arms around the stricken girl. "Mom!"

"What?"

"She's not breathing!"

"Fucking hell." Tori had never seen her mom panic before, and the sight of it unnerved her more than anything. The medic came crashing back into the room. "Here," she panted.

Holly snatched the box off her, opening it to pull out a long syringe and a vial.

"What's that?" Tori said in horror.

"Adrenalin shot." She fumbled with the needle, trying to stop her hands from shaking as she pushed it onto the bottle.

"You'll never get that in her arm!"

"It's not going in her arm."

"You... oh, no, you can't be-"

"Stand back."

"Mom!"

"Shut _up_!" Holly paused a moment, eyes closed, muttering to herself. "Fourth intercostal," she said, running her free hand across Jade's chest. "There."

She pushed the needle in, up through the ribs, as Tori flinched away. "No!"

For a moment all was silence, their faces frozen in dreadful anticipation, and then they heard a faint hiss coming from between the girl's lips. Holly quickly withdrew the needle, letting it clatter to the floor, and sat back, sweat dripping off her as Jade's breath began to come back in ragged bursts, the rigidity melting from her limbs. Tori moved to cradle Jade's head. "Is she going to be all right?" she said.

Holly leaned over, and lifted one of Jade's eyelids. "I think so," she said. "You." She pointed to the medic. "Get the car brought round. We need to get her home."

"Home?" Tori said. "We can't take her home! She needs to go to a hospital!"

"She's not going anywhere!" Holly snapped. "Do you have any idea how much trouble we could be in if anyone finds out about this? The whole club could go down!"

"I don't give a crap about the Club!"

"Well you should!" Holly turned on her. "Because if the Club goes down, we _all_ go down. I told you this before, Tori. We don't own the Club, the Club owns us. We'll lose the house, everything. There'll be no more vacations, no more fancy stage school. Your dad'll lose his job and I'll be lucky not to go to jail. It's one thing allowing a little underage drinking, but if it gets out that we're giving unlicensed drugs to seventeen-year-old girls, that's it. Game over."

"But-"

"Help me lift her."

Wordlessly, Tori moved to help her mom carry Jade's unconscious body. Without thinking she steered the way into the Red Room and through the door to the corridor. If her mom had had any doubt about Tori's involvement in the break-in, her familiarity with the exit removed it, but she was past caring now.

They reached the car, Simon pulling open the door as yet again Jade was bundled into the back seat. "Take her back to the house," Holly instructed.

"Where are you going?"

"To find Marla."

"Like hell you are."

"I need to-"

"No!" Tori yelled. "You caused this, you and her, and you're not going to just abandon us while you go off and start a cat fight! What if she has a fit, or stops breathing again? You won't let us go to a hospital, so what the hell am I supposed to do? Just watch her die? You know more about what's happened to her than anyone else, so if you don't get in this car right now then, screw you, I _will_ take her to a hospital, and then I'm going to the police."

"Tori!"

"Take it or leave it, Mom."

Holly hesitated. She took one last look at the Club, and climbed grudgingly into the car.

The journey home seemed to last a thousand years, Tori hugging Jade to her protectively, her expression of loathing so severe whenever she looked Holly that her mom didn't dare speak.

The mood in the house deepened further as they entered, Holly watching, helpless and unwanted, as Tori struggled to get Jade upstairs. In the end it was the long-suffering Simon who helped her up the last few steps and opened the bedroom door for her, tactfully slipping away before she finally laid Jade on the bed.

She should just cover her and let her sleep, but somehow the sight of the outfit disturbed her, the thought of Jade waking to find herself dressed as a sub, and she quickly stripped it off, trying not to flinch at the sight of the bruising around the arm and shoulder. She noticed that Jade's right hand was clenched into a fist, but she found she couldn't make it relax without hurting her, so she left it as it was and pulled the sheets over her, planting a kiss on the other girl's forehead and closing the door behind her.

Downstairs Holly was at the kitchen table, her face drained and pale. There was a glass in front of her into which she'd poured a shot of whiskey, and when she saw Tori approaching she moved a second glass and tipped a little into that, a small peace offering. Tori slumped down in the chair opposite and took it.

"What the hell is going on, Mom?" There was no anger left in her voice, just tiredness.

"I told you. She had a bad reaction to the pain meds. It's happened before. The subs are supposed to disclose their medical records before they take it. We don't have Jade's."

"Why not?"

"Because I never thought either of you were so stupid as to do something like this!" Holly said. "A lot of things go on at the Club, but I didn't think you'd get involved in that side of it. I tried to get hold of her records anyway, but the details in her bag were false. In the end I put a note on her file to say she wasn't allowed it."

"Well that obviously didn't work, did it?"

"Because Marla... It was just a mistake, that's all."

"A mistake? You can't afford to make mistakes! She nearly died!"

"I'm sorry."

"This was Marla, wasn't it?" Tori fumed. "This was Marla's 'mistake'. She's had it in for Jade since the day we arrived, I wouldn't be surprised if she did it on purpose."

Holly hesitated. "Tori..."

"She's not fit to run a club, Mom! She's not fit to run anything!"

"I know."

"Then why don't you do something about it? Why don't you talk to the Club President, tell them what's going on?"

"There is no 'President', Tori."

"No President?"

Holly sighed. "There's no President, no Vice-President, no Committee, no Chairman of the Judges," she said. "There aren't even any judges, to speak of. There's just me and Marla."

"I don't understand. "

"The Club exists for a very particular kind of person, Tori."

"Well, I know that, but-"

"Specifically, the kind that are rich and gullible. The kind that desperately want to believe that they're not just a suit behind a desk with a bondage fetish, that they're part of something, something exclusive, that there really is a secret society made up of powerful, dominant women. A Sisterhood. And nothing says exclusivity like a mysterious president you never meet and a whole raft of titles."

"So…" Tori's mind was reeling as she replayed her first night at the Club. "The whole thing is a _con_?"

"Not completely," Holly said. "The Club is real, it has to be. Our livelihoods depend on it. But the Sisterhood is nothing more than a fancy letterhead and wishful thinking."

"But what about the trials, and the interviews?"

"That isn't for your benefit, Tori, it's for the benefit of the judges. They want to feel special, and nothing makes a certain type of person feel special like being invited to sit in judgement on someone. Do you seriously think, if we genuinely vetted people on their abilities, that we'd let someone like Madison Kentworth in? She runs a refrigerator company, for God's sake. She's hardly 'secret society' material. But she invests a lot of money in the Club to feel like she is. So we let her think she's a judge, and we let her sit on the panel. It doesn't affect anything. The panel's always rigged so it can be brought to deadlock, and Marla and I get the final say."

"How?"

"Why do you think we have people like Alison there? Or you, for that matter? You can't have a whole club full of people like Madison Kentworth, they'd either fight all the time or try to buy us out. So we have the other members. They're not rich, but we let them in anyway on the condition they never discuss it. They're just grateful to be there, mixing with the rich and famous, and their loyalty lies with us for letting them. They always outnumber the executive members, so that we can swing a vote any way we want. It's all a question of balance, Tori. We need to give the sharks space to swim without eating each other, but we still have to keep them in the tank."

"So you're manipulating them all. The same way you manipulated me," Tori said. "The same way you tried to teach me to manipulate Jade. What is _with_ you, Mom?"

"I didn't _want_ to, Tori. I didn't want to lead you down that path. But at the same time I had to. I had to make you into the kind of domme that they'd accept, that would be able to stand up to them on their own terms. If I'd known that you could hold your own the way you did tonight maybe things would have been different. I underestimated you, and I'm sorry."

"But why? Why would you get involved in something like this if you know it's wrong?"

"I didn't have any choice. I did it for Marla."

"For Marla? Why would you do it for her? You hate her."

"I owe her, Tori. We all do."

"Why?"

"Because Marla was the girl in the cellar."

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Jade awoke briefly, floating up from the depths of her dream in a bubble of blissful ignorance. She could hear voices coming from somewhere. But the bed was warm, and it smelled of Tori, so she didn't break the surface of consciousness long enough to remember where she was.

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"What girl?"

Holly rested her head on her hands and closed her eyes. "When I was younger," she said, "I found out that your grandmother had been keeping a girl in the cellar. None of us knew, the cellar was locked, and we'd never seen her arrive. But one day I stole the key." She paused, and took a drink from the glass before she could carry on. "She was in a terrible state, Tori. I can't tell you how bad. Bound, gagged, beaten. God knows how long she'd been there. The stench was unbearable. Your grandmother had taken _everything_ out on her, all her frustration, all her anger at your grandfather. It was the most terrifying thing I've ever seen."

"Oh, my God."

"I let her go. I knew your grandmother would be mad, and she was. I took a whipping from Cybele that I'll never forget. But I had to let her go. I couldn't do anything else. I begged her, pleaded with her, promised her _anything_ if she didn't go to the police - despite what she'd done, I didn't want my mother to go to jail. But she just walked out, and after a while I thought we'd never see her again.

"A few years later, after you were born, she came to see me. She said she wanted my help. She said that was the price, the price for her silence. She wanted to start a club, and she wanted me to help her.

"What could I do, Tori? Your grandmother was old and sick by then, even the scandal would have finished her off. And it didn't sound like a bad thing, she wasn't trying to steal from me, she just needed help. Investment. We'd run it as a business and make money. So I remortgaged the house without your father knowing, and together Marla and I bought the Diamond Club."

"Dad doesn't know about this?"

"Your father and I were... distant by then. He didn't know about Marla. He'd already told me the lifestyle sickened him, I could hardly bring myself to tell him that it was about to get us splashed all over the nationals. He always left all the household management to me, anyway. As long as there was beer in the refrigerator he'd never notice. So I went in with Marla, and at first it worked. The Club wasn't always like this, Tori, when it started I thought Marla genuinely wanted the best for it. There was no talk of the 'Sisterhood' back then, we just wanted it to be an exclusive club that women would pay money to join. We had bankers, and lawyers, and they helped us invest money on the Club's behalf, and the whole thing seemed like a tidy little business. The rot didn't really set in until Claudia joined."

"Claudia? Kyra's aunt?"

"Yes. She was obsessed with it, and she was willing to throw any amount of money around to prove that it worked, that it was real. She and Marla began to egg each other on, Claudia pressing for more and more discipline, and Marla indulging her, taking membership away from the subs, introducing the trials, feeding off her obsession. Marla laughed at her behind her back, but she saw the future. She came up with a new idea, a level of exclusivity above and beyond the confines of the Club, a way of selling the fantasy to people like Claudia. The old membership had started to drift away by then, but it didn't matter. The Sisterhood was born.

"But a few years ago, something happened at the Club, and Marla changed. She began to get carried away, started to believe it herself. I should have known. When we started all this I thought the Club would be cathartic for her, make her see that not everyone was like my mother, but it didn't work that way. Instead she stopped seeing the subs as people at all."

"Then why would they go?"

"Who?"

"The subs. Why would they go to the Club at all?"

"Why did Jade go?" Holly countered, evasively. "People do all kinds of things, Tori, that to an outsider might seem ridiculous, self-defeating. Dangerous, even. But they all have their reasons. People like Claudia aren't a mystery, they've been around since humanity began. But most people are more complicated. The subs especially."

"Jade said something like that."

"You've talked about this?"

"She used to keep a diary. On a little voice recorder. I... listened to some of it. By accident."

"I sometimes think Jade's more complicated than the rest of us put together. But the point is, there are always factors you don't understand."

Tori slumped back in her seat. "So what now?" she said. "If you think I'm ever setting foot in that place again, you've got another thing coming."

"I need you there, Tori. There are some members who aren't happy with the way things are. People who are loyal to me. If I have enough support I might be able to take control back from Marla."

"But why me?" Tori said. "Why not recruit someone else? Someone who actually wants it? If there are people loyal to you, they must know others."

"It's not quite that simple, Tori."

There was something about the tone of her voice that unsettled Tori, the way her mom wouldn't catch her eye, the nervous flicker towards the staircase.

"It's not me at all, is it?" she said, accusingly. "It's _her_. It's _Jade_ you need at the Club, not me."

"No, that's-"

"That's why you threw me at her, isn't it? That's why you were so desperate to offer her membership when you thought it wasn't working out. It's her. You need _her_."

"Tori..."

"Why, Mom? What's so special about her? Why do you need her there?"

From upstairs, there was a cry of pain. Holly looked up. " You should go to her," she said, quietly.

"But-"

"She needs you now." Holly stood up. "There'll be time for talking later. If there is a 'later'."

"What do you mean?"

"There's a storm coming, Tori," she said. "And you might be the only one that survives. "

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 **There was a lot of talking in this chapter, my apologies, but you'll be pleased to know we're approaching the endgame. Thanks for sticking with it.**

 **All comments welcome. I know the intracardiac injection is a little dubious, but if it was good enough for Pulp Fiction it's good enough for us. And it's hardly the weirdest thing to happen in this story…**


	53. Chapter 53 - Confluence

**Hi, welcome back to the Other Story. We're approaching the last few chapters (I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear) so we're going to push on and finish this, come hell or high water. I apologize for including Cat here, I know it only highlights the unlikelihood of the whole thing, but she has a clue that might be important later. And we're finally going to find out why the subs come to the Diamond Club...**

 _._

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 _Letter 2 (Fragment)_

 _Dear Holly_

 _It is with a heavy heart that I write this letter, because I know that by the time you read it, I shall be dead. I suspect it will be my heart - it was always a fickle thing, even in the days when I gave it to you, and age has not tempered its tendency to mischief. I can't say how many years may have passed since we last met, for that meeting still lies in my future. It would be nice to believe that we've spent a long and happy life together, and that the instructions in this letter have long since ceased to matter, but I fear that is not my destiny, and so I must do what I can while I have the time._

 _I have recently come into possession of certain facts regarding the girl I have always known as Sally Easterbrook…_

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By the time Tori reached the bedroom, Jade was asleep again. She'd rolled over onto her injured shoulder, which had caused her to cry out, and the jolt of pain had caused her hand to open. Tori looked at the small object that had dropped from it.

The little glass bottle.

She didn't know whether Jade had taken it deliberately, so she moved it to the bedside table, undressed, and slipped into bed. Her discussion with her mom had left her shaken. Every time she thought she knew what was going on, it seemed there was another layer of deceit waiting for her. If what she'd said was true, then nothing was real at _all_ \- her entire upbringing, the lifestyle, everything, had been a sham, just part of her mother's double-dealing. In a way she knew she was closer to the truth than she'd ever been, a moment of clarity told her that - her mom would never admit something like that unless she had to - but it still didn't explain Jade. Why would her mom be so determined to make Jade part of something she didn't want? She'd insisted that the Club be kept a secret from her until the night they went, and then piled on the pressure the moment she'd walked through the door, berating her before she'd had a chance to say anything. It was almost as if she didn't _want_ to give Jade time to think, that she wanted her to be so overwhelmed that it would be impossible to say no even if she'd wanted to. Why? Jade had never heard of the Club, there was no reason to think she wouldn't have agreed if she'd been asked. But instead her mom had wanted Jade to be so frightened of screwing up that the idea of refusing to go at all wouldn't even cross her mind. And now it turned out that none of it mattered anyway, that the trials weren't even real. So why was her mom so determined that Jade should be there, and in a frame of mind that would prevent her from questioning anything? Damn it, she should go back downstairs and...

Jade stirred, and turned over, reaching for her, and she found it impossible to leave. Tomorrow. She'd have it out with her mom tomorrow.

It seemed a strange and bitter irony that all this time both Jade and her mom had been working to the same end, to get Jade into the Club, and for the first time in months she felt a flash of anger. They'd both used her, but that wasn't what hurt. It was what they'd turned her into. It wasn't fair. Left to her own devices, she would never have done any of this, never wanted to hurt anyone. She knew her mom thought she wasn't cut out for it, she knew Jade would rather have the Tori she thought she knew at school, but still they'd forced her down the path to damnation so they could ride on her coat-tails.

She looked at the girl beside her, snoring gently, face placid and untroubled. What she wouldn't give for it not to have been this way. For Jade to have laughed at her that day at school, said, _funny, Vega, you really had me going there_ , and punched her on the shoulder; and Tori would have laughed too, or at least pulled herself out of the trash can with a few bruises, and maybe they'd have gone out for a soda or something and bonded over it. But she hadn't. Jade had played her part to perfection, baited her trap and pounced. And now instead of lying next to the girl she loved waiting to wake her with a kiss, she was laying here terrified of the future and wondering if she could trust her at all.

 _No more_ , she decided. No more. Tomorrow she was going to put her foot down. No more Club, no more lies, no more Sally fricking Easterbrook. Jade might be willing to risk her life for the sake of someone that Tori was rapidly coming to despise, but it wasn't just Jade's life to risk, was it? She'd shared her life with Tori, and Tori was damned if she was going to play second fiddle to Jade's obsession, going to dumbly tag along while Jade made all the decisions. Relationships didn't work that way, they'd proved that. So forget control, a dose of reality was what they needed. She entertained a brief fantasy of them both packing their bags and heading off on a motorcycle into the sunset, laughing and flipping the bird to the whole sorry mess, but neither of them could ride a motorcycle. Well, Jade probably thought she could, but then Jade thought that about a lot of things.

In need of an act, however small, to signify her decision, she reached into the bottom drawer of the cabinet, and pulled out the small, stuffed rabbit that Jade had won for her at the Carnival, her first gesture of affection during their 'break'. She'd been foolishly, girlishly pleased with it, taken it as a sign she was on the right path, that Jade loved her for herself, that her mistake was a single error of judgement that would soon be forgotten. It was only later, on the recording, that she'd discovered how Jade actually _felt_ about this rabbit, that she'd seen it as the grisly harbinger of some dreadful ordeal to come. She threw it across the room into the trash, and felt a little surge of satisfaction, of having taken a step in the right direction. She lay back and closed her eyes. It was all going to be okay.

.

.

.

Thirty minutes later, Holly Vega listened outside the door, but she could hear nothing. Her conscience told her she should check that Jade was okay, but she didn't want to interrupt if they were talking. Or anything else, although if Jade could manage that in her state she'd be surprised. How much had she taken? How much would she remember? Holly had caught sight of the syringe as they'd lifted her; it was still half full, so not too much. But then the dosage wasn't the problem with Jade.

She tapped, gently, but there was no answer. She hesitated, then opened the door. The combined sound of the girls breathing filled the room, and in the shaft of light from the open door she could see them, peacefully wrapped in each other's arms. She smiled, sadly, and was about to leave, when she spotted something else in the light of the hallway. A small glass bottle on the nightstand.

Jade had, somehow, managed to bring this back. She quietly crossed the room and picked it up. If she took it away, there was always the chance that Jade wouldn't remember enough of last night to make the connection, she could just put her collapse down to delirium from the pain. If she saw this, on the other hand…

And there, in the half-light, Holly Vega crossed her Rubicon. She placed the bottle back on the cabinet, and softly closed the door.

.

.

.

The following morning Jade was still asleep. Tori ran through all the passive-aggressive means of rousing her she could think of, yawning, stretching, accidentally elbowing her in the ribs, but she couldn't bring herself to deliberately wake her despite the questions buzzing in her head, so she decided to let her lie. It was Sunday, there was nowhere she needed to be as far as Tori knew, and she probably needed the rest. It seemed unlikely that she'd surface before mid-afternoon. She dressed and went downstairs.

Her mom was nowhere to be seen, but the previous night had left her so drained she wasn't in the mood for confrontation. She'd go shopping, and then drop in to Jade's house, pick her up a few things, explain that she wasn't feeling well. _Again_. She wondered how many times she was going to have to do this, face an increasingly sad and bewildered Mr. West and tell him his daughter couldn't come home.

She reached for her bag, and checked her purse. A silver glimmer caught her eye. The Diamond Club's calling card. Well, she wouldn't be needing that anymore. She pulled it out, and looked at it, puzzled.

Jade had said she'd found this in Tori's bag. That was how she'd known that Tori was involved. And yet the card was specifically designed not to mention the Club. It had the word _Dominata_ embossed on it, and in opposing corners were a Heart, and a Spade. It was only by tilting it just the right way that you could make out the Diamond and the Club faintly engraved in the other corners, the implication being that the Diamond Club was hard to find unless you knew where to look. Jade must have been pretty smart to figure this out in the few minutes she had to root through her purse.

She shook her head. That was Jade, she supposed. Smart in all the wrong ways. Ingenious when it came to deception, dumb as a bag of rocks when it came to doing something sensible. She pushed the card back without thinking about it and left the house.

.

.

.

Holly Vega came down the stairs when she was sure Tori had gone, and began to make plans. If this was where it began, she needed to make sure the paperwork was right. She was entirely in Jade's hands now, and she need to make sure that everything was in order. She went to her desk and pulled out two envelopes.

In the first was a letter. It was the letter that troubled her most. The girl was going to hate her, not for its contents, but for the fact that Holly had withheld it. Jade was bound to question her motives, and she'd be right. As for the second, maybe that would go some way to mitigating that.

.

.

.

Tori was at the mall when she bumped into Cat. Cat and Jade had reached some kind of peace, but then they'd known each other a long time. Tori had a much shallower well to draw on, and Cat was still a little aloof with her. But Tori was nothing if not a trier.

"Hey, Cat."

Cat turned. "Oh," she said. "Hey."

There wasn't much enthusiasm in her voice. "Look," Tori said, pressing on regardless, "I'm really sorry about the whole thing with Jade, okay? It was my fault."

"...Yeah."

Tori sighed. She recognized this mood. "So are you mad with me?"

"No," Cat said, pouting. "I just wish..."

"...something bad would happen to me," Tori finished for her. "Yes, I know. Well, if it's any consolation, bad things have been happening to me quite a lot, lately."

"Really?" Cat perked up.

"Yeah, really. So... are we good?"

Cat hesitated. "I guess."

"Do you want to go for coffee, or something?"

"Um..."

Tori rolled her eyes. "And maybe ice-cream."

"Okay."

Ten minutes later they sat in silence in the coffee shop, while Cat addressed a bowl of ice-cream taller than she was.

"So," Tori started. "How's Hayley?" She knew it was a mistake as soon as she'd said it. Cat's face fell, and she stabbed at the ice-cream.

"Don't ask."

"Oh." Something occurred to her. "She did call, right?"

Cat looked up, sharply. "How do you know?"

"I.. er... Jade said she would."

Cat nodded, and looked back down at her bowl. "Or else she'd stab her in the face," she said, matter-of-factly.

"Well, yes."

"I'm not sure I want a girlfriend who has to be threatened into going out with me. Anyway, what's it got to do with you?"

Tori reached out and pulled the bowl away from her.

"Hey!"

Tori just raised an eyebrow, daring her to fight for it. "Fine," Cat huffed. "She did call, and we met up a couple of times. But it didn't work out."

"Oh." Tori pushed the bowl back. "I'm sorry to hear that."

Cat just shrugged. "Where's Jade?" she said.

"She's... not well."

"Is she sick?"

"She had kind of an accident. Nothing serious, but-"

"Did she fall off the bridge again?"

"No, she... What do you mean, 'fall off the bridge'?"

"She fell off a bridge, once. A few years ago," Cat said. "She told me."

"Where was this?"

"Melina Creek. She said she was just walking along, and tripped over a nickel, and fell off the bridge."

"Tripped over a _nickel_?"

"That's what she said. But for some reason she couldn't get out. Someone had to jump in and help her."

"What? Why? Melina Creek's not that..." She tailed off. _Unless she didn't want to get out_. Her mind drifted back to what Jade's father had said. _She had an accident..._

"Her dad was really mad," Cat went on. "I didn't see her all summer. She must have been grounded."

"Yeah," Tori said, carefully. "That was probably it." She played with her spoon for a moment. _I didn't see her all summer_. But Jade had been busy with her other 'friend', hadn't she? Would it be cruel to let Cat know that? How far would Jade want her to go? How much did _she_ want to know?

"Cat?" she said, eventually.

"Uh-huh?"

"Did you ever meet a girl called Sally Easterbrook?"

.

.

.

Holly returned from her shopping trip. She wasn't a technophobe, but gadgetry bored her, and her icy stare had shut down the assistant in the electronic store before he was even halfway through his sales pitch. She looked at the object in her hand. It didn't actually do what she wanted it to do, but it _looked_ as though it could, and that would be enough. If Marla called her bluff…

She clenched a fist in a black leather glove until the knuckles cracked. If Marla called her bluff then she'd go down fighting.

And Marla Bowden would find out _exactly_ how much of her mother's steel she'd inherited.

.

.

.

Jade West awoke, awash with confusion, a vision of dark eyes her only memory. She shook her head to clear it, and rolled over. Tori was gone, and she had no idea what time it was. A sudden jolt of pain from her shoulder made her catch her breath. How had she done that? What did they do last night? She reached for her phone. Sunday. So last night was...

They'd gone to the Club. She tried to concentrate. She remembered setting off, going in, and meeting Marla. Tori had said something, and Marla had been pretty pissed. She could see her now. Then what? Then it had all gone a little crazy, and Tori had dragged her through the Club like a prize exhibit, getting in everyone's face. She'd tried to calm her down, sent her... somewhere.

Kyra and Amy. She'd sent her to talk to them. Why? Fuck, her memory was in shreds, gaps everywhere, dropping out like the radio signal in a tunnel. She'd gone off on her own, she knew that, but when she tried to follow the thread of that it just led nowhere.

 _Faces_. Kyra. Amy. Marla. Trixie... Stephanie? She had an image of Stephanie, blank-eyed and distant, but had no context to hang it on. Who else?

Holly. But Holly hadn't been there. She'd been called away before they set off. She couldn't have made it to the Club until...

The trial. That was why her shoulder hurt. There'd been a trial. She could see Marla pushing the form under her nose, with that supercilious smile on her face, and Tori had been mad with her for saying yes, really mad, while she was tying her to the cross.

The sudden memory of the cross brought her bolt upright, her stomach churning. They'd _crucified_ them, for God's sake. They'd tied them to crosses, hoisted them up in the air, and crucified them. Jesus. All she could hear was the endless chanting, the horror of a mob mentality. And it had hurt, it had hurt so much. Then...

She'd spoken to Sally. She blinked. She knew that couldn't be true, but it was the clearest memory she had. _I'm coming home. But first there's something you need to do..._

And then blackness. She must have passed out. _Damn it_. She punched the bed in frustration and lay back down. All that for nothing, no closer to anything. She picked up her phone, and wondered whether she should call Tori, see if she could fill in the gaps, but she hesitated. How mad was Tori? The thought that Tori might be furious with her made her stomach twist with guilt. She'd ridden rough-shod over her objections last night, and only now did she appreciate how that must have felt for her. She tried to picture being forced to stand on the sidelines while Tori was... She couldn't even bring herself to think it. It had to stop. All this had to stop. She was just destroying them both, and Tori deserved better than that. Maybe they needed a fresh start. Maybe she should just get a motorcycle, throw Tori on the back of it, and head on down to Mexico, take a road trip. Of course, she'd never ridden a motorcycle before, but, hey, how hard could it be?

That was it. Forget all this. Just let it go. She felt a cool breeze through the window which seemed to confer the world's blessing on her decision. Satisfied, she turned over and put her phone on the bedside cabinet, where it clinked against something. Something made of glass.

She sat up to see what it was.

.

.

.

Tori arrived outside Jade's house almost without realizing it, her brain still mulling over her conversation with Cat. Cat hadn't heard of Sally, but then that wasn't too surprising – apparently Jade had never wanted her to meet any of her other friends. What was more surprising was that Jade had told her about the 'accident'. No one else knew. Why keep one secret and not the other?

Maybe Jade hadn't had a choice. Perhaps it had been her parents' cover story, rather than Jade's.

But why the Creek? It was barely five feet deep most places, you'd either have to have concrete in your boots or be the world's worst swimmer to be in danger, you were more likely to catch a fatal disease than drown.

What else had she said, about Jade having to be rescued?

 _Jade never liked the water,_ she'd said. _Not even when she was little._ _So maybe it didn't like her, either._

She shuddered and hitched her bag onto her shoulder, reaching for the doorbell.

.

.

.

Holly heard the door, but she didn't turn round. "Jade," she said, quietly.

"Hello, Holly." The voice was low, almost a growl.

"I've been expecting you."

"I'll bet you have."

Holly turned, finally, to see Jade clutching the small glass bottle in her hand. "You found it, then."

"I found it. And now you and I are going to have a little talk. And if you don't tell me what I want to know, bad things will happen."

"You won't hurt Tori." It was more a statement than anything.

"No."

"Then this is between us."

"Yes."

Holly nodded, as though in acknowledgment of the terms, and sat down at her desk. Jade placed the bottle in front of her, twisting it so the letters 'T.T.' were facing her.

"First of all," she said, "I want you to tell me about this."

Holly stared at it, but seemed unable to speak.

"No?" said Jade. "Well, let me tell you what I think. I don't think this is pain relief at all. I think _this_ ," she tapped the top of the glass vial, "is a lobotomy in a bottle."

"Jade…"

"I'll bet there are all kinds of nasties in here, aren't there, Holly?" she said. "Opiates, hallucinogens, psychotropics. I know it screws with your memory, I can barely remember last night. So what is it? Something you got from one of your 'members', or is this something you cooked up yourself? Is Holly Vega breaking bad?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"This is why your subs aren't like other subs, isn't it, Holly?" Jade went on, grimly. "This is why they don't talk, or laugh. This is why they just drift along, all blank-eyed, letting you treat them like cattle. Because you're feeding them _this_. And they don't know, do they? You tell them it's for the pain, but it's addictive, so they keep on coming back and they don't know why, they just know they _have_ to. And all the time you're giving them more and more, slowly breaking them down, turning their brains into mush until they can't tell fantasy from reality and they start to believe it's all _real_."

"No!"

"Is this the service you offer, Holly? Is this the Diamond Club's USP? Come to us and we'll turn your sub into a real slave, take away their humanity, fuck them up so badly they'll never leave you?"

"You don't understand!"

"Then tell me!"

"It was supposed to be an _experiment_."

"An experiment? You're _experimenting_ on people?" Jade said, shocked. "Jesus Christ, Holly."

"It's not _like_ that," Holly said, helplessly. "Totus Tuus was supposed to be something different, something _fun_. The next level in role-play. It puts the subs into a trance-like state, lets them lose their inhibitions, indulge their ultimate fantasies without fear of recrimination, or guilt. It was supposed to be carefully controlled, monitored, _voluntary_. Something for the senior couples only. It was Marla's idea, she studied pharmacology at college before... before she had to leave." She pushed the bottle away in disgust. "I didn't realize she was using it this way until it was too late."

"What do you mean, 'too late'?"

"You're right, it is addictive. And it has withdrawal symptoms. Not serious, but enough for someone to realize they'd been taking something. It'd only take one girl to go to their doctor, or the hospital, and a blood test would show it up. It wouldn't take them long to put two and two together. It wouldn't even need the police. The rumor would shut us down if the members got wind of it."

"So the members don't know? You're doping their partners, their lovers, and they don't _know_ about it?"

"Only Claudia."

"Holy shit, Holly. You are going to be in a world of trouble when they find out."

"I _know._ But it's going to stop."

"You're damned right it's going to stop! Is this what you had planned for me, Holly? Would you have let her do it to me to keep me in line?"

"Of course not! I told them you weren't allowed it!"

"It would have made things easier for you, though, wouldn't it?" Jade snarled. "Wouldn't have to keep on Tori's back all the time, wouldn't have to worry about her losing control. You and her would have had exactly what you wanted all this time, another victim of the Vega family horror show."

"No!" Holly struggled to her feet, but Jade shoved her back down.

"You know what, Holly?" she said. "I don't care."

"What?"

"I don't care what you do to them. I don't even care what you did to me. Because I've got one question for you. Just one. And if I don't get an answer," she said, "if I don't get the _truth_ , I swear to God I'm going to hurt you." She pulled out her scissors. "And I don't care if Tori's upset about that. The way she feels about you right now, she'll get over it real quick. So here's my question." She picked up the bottle and held it before Holly's eyes.

"Did you give this," she said, "to Sally Easterbrook?"

.

.

.

Tori left the house reeling, her legs barely able to support her, her world spinning. There had to be some mistake. Dear God, please let there be some mistake. But Jade's dad had no reason to lie. Had no reason to think there was anything to lie _about_. But it couldn't be true, could it? She'd been so sure, everything she'd done since the day she came to the house had been to this one end. She _must_ believe it. And yet…

Slowly but surely it all began to fall into place. The compass. The picture. The art classes. The house on the hill. The strange intonation as she'd stood above her on the bed.

 _Do you feel comfortable? Do you feel safe?_

Caroline. The shadow world.

And if it was true, then everything, _everything_ was wrong. Because it meant that Jade was more broken than she'd ever thought, more broken than she could possibly fix.

She stumbled on into the night.

.

.

.

Holly blinked in surprise. "Sally Easterbrook?"

"Don't play games with me, Holly," Jade said, waving the point of the scissors. "I had a friend called Sally Easterbrook. She came to your club one night, and I never saw her again. Now I'll ask you one more time. Did you give her this?"

But Holly seemed genuinely confused. "You're _looking_ for Sally Easterbrook?"

"Yes!"

"I'm sorry, Jade," she said. "But you won't find her. She was never there."

"Don't lie to me, Holly. I know she was."

"Your friend never came to the Club."

"You're _lying_."

"I swear to God I'm _not_ ," Holly insisted. "I've never met the girl."

"Right, that's it. One more time and I'm going to cut you."

"Please, Jade! I'm telling the truth!"

"Really?" Jade's nostrils flared in barely suppressed fury. "Really?" she said. She reached into her pocket, and pulled out a crumpled scrap of green card. "Then _why_ ," she thundered, slamming it down on to the desk triumphantly, "was her name in _your_ files?"

There was silence for a moment, broken only by the murmur of traffic and the ticking of the clock. Holly Vega seemed to fold in on herself, deflating, beaten. She leaned back and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, Jade's blood ran cold. There was no fear there. No anger. Only pity.

"Because Sally Easterbrook was the name that _you_ used, Jade," Holly said, quietly. "The _first_ time you came to the Club."

.

.

.


	54. Chapter 54 - The Woman in the Blue Dress

**Hi, here we are again, slowly unraveling our little mystery. Thank you for your patience, I hope you're not too disappointed. If you're wondering where the picture frame came in, it had a brief cameo in Chapter 35.**

 **On we go…**

.

.

.

 _...hold her arm..._

 _...can't do this. It's too soon, she's not ready..._

 _...dangerous. We have to..._

 _...what if... oh God..._

 _...what? What's happening..._

 _...have checked her records..._

 _...she's starting to..._

 _...what have you done..._

 _...this wasn't supposed to..._

 _...a lockdown, get the medic..._

 _...I was just trying to..._

 _...the medic, Holly, get the fucking medic..._

 _...see that? She broke her..._

 _...the medic, get the medic..._

 _...damn it Marla, she's starting to..._

 _...leave her..._

 _...we can't just..._

 _...I said leave her. Get the damned medic..._

 _...oh, God, no..._

 _…it's not her, Holly, it's the other one…_

 _._

 _…it's Caroline…_

 _._

 _…oh God…_

.

.

.

"You're lying."

"It's true, Jade. It was you who came to the Club that night, not Sally."

"That's pathetic," Jade scoffed. "Even for you. I've never been to your stinking little club before."

"Yes, you _have_ ," Holly insisted. "But you don't remember."

"Well, how fucking convenient."

"It's true!" Holly said. "You used Sally's name, you came with a domme called-"

"Bullshit!" Jade said. She spun Holly round on her chair. "Now you listen to me, Holly Vega. If you don't start telling me the truth things are going to get nasty."

"Look in the drawer."

"What?"

"Look in the top drawer of my desk. There's a manila folder."

Jade released her and backed away slowly towards the desk, without breaking eye contact. She pulled open the drawer, drew out the folder that lay there, and dropped it on the table.

"Open it."

Jade flipped open the cover, and finally took her eyes off Holly long enough to focus on what lay inside.

A form. A photograph.

She felt her heart lurch. The photograph was her, but not one she recognized. Younger than now, her hair a light brown, her make-up less severe. She was grinning, eyebrow arched seductively, arm around someone who was just out of shot but whose blue dress shimmered in the light. And around her neck was a thin silver collar. She looked back at Holly.

"You could have got this anywhere," she said, dismissively, trying not to concentrate on the blue dress. "You could fake it in five minutes."

"And why would I do that?" Holly said. "Why would I fake a photo I didn't even know you were going to see?"

"You knew, all right. You knew I'd find the bottle. It wouldn't have taken you long to come up with this charade."

"Oh, come on, Jade," Holly said, her own anger rising. "I'm not a fool. If I'd really done what you think I've done, this is hardly the way I'd deal with it. Look at the writing, for God's sake."

Jade ground her teeth in resentment, but looked back down, sliding the picture to one side to read the form below. And there...

The name was familiar, of course, the address obviously fake, but the handwriting was unmistakeably her own. The cold in her stomach began to spread. "More lies."

"It really isn't, Jade. Why do you think I even _have_ this?"

"Who knows why you do _anything_ , Holly," Jade spat. "As far as I'm concerned you're probably the most fucked-up individual I've ever met. You've ruined your daughter's life, your husband's, mine, Caroline's..."

There was a long pause.

"Caroline?" Holly said, quietly.

"Yes," Jade said. "She was-"

"I know who she was, Jade. But I never mentioned her."

"I… found her name in the files."

"But why would you think I'd ruined her life, Jade? Why would you think I knew her at _all_?" Holly began to rise as Jade backed away in confusion.

"I don't know, I... this is just a trick. Don't try to trick me, Holly."

Holly picked up the folder. "It's not a trick, Jade, I wish to God it was. But I've kept this folder because I knew, one way or the other, that eventually you'd remember. That eventually you'd want the truth."

"This isn't the truth!"

"It is." Holly dropped the folder back on the table. "What do you know about Caroline, Jade?"

"Nothing. I don't know anything. Just what Sally told me."

"So she told you I ruined her life?"

"No, but..."

"Well, I did, Jade," Holly said, flatly. "I really did. I hurt her, badly, and she never got over it. Did Sally tell you that?"

"She…" Jade faltered for a moment. "She must have."

"What _else_ did she tell you?" Holly's voice was coaxing. "What else do you know about Caroline?"

"Nothing!"

"Was she kind?"

"I don't know!"

"Generous?" Holly was circling now.

"I-"

"Was she a good _mistress_ , Jade? Did she treat you well?"

"I never met her!"

"I think you did," Holly said. "I _know_ you did. Is this the way you'd repay her?"

"No, I'd never-"

"She loved you, Jade. She really cared about you."

"I-"

"And you cared about her too, didn't you? You once bought her something, Jade. She told me that much. What did you buy her?"

"Nothing!" Jade was starting to panic, fear rising.

"She told me you did. She told me you wanted to make up for something. What was it?"

"I..."

"What did you _buy_ her?"

"Stop..."

"Think, Jade! What was it?"

"I can't…"

" _What was it_?"

And suddenly she was back there. The house on the hill.

 _She's been here before; she can feel the nervous excitement in her legs as she ascends the steps to the front door. White Doric columns to the front, Japanese maples to the side. Ornamental fountains. There's a citrus tree in the garden and an open fire in the living room. And standing by the fire..._

 _A woman in a blue dress. In her hand is an envelope. An invitation. The look on her face is questioning, waiting. Do you want to go? You say something, and she laughs, a beautiful sound like the jingle of silver bells. Behind her is a photograph._

 _You know that face, now. Of course you do. Younger, almost your own age, yet still recognizably Holly. But it's not the face that frightens you. It's the frame._

 _The frame that you bought, with your own money. To replace the one that you broke._

 _She didn't punish you. She'd never punish you for something that happened in the real world. But still you had to make amends._

 _You bought it at a metal-art store, and had it silver plated. It cost more than your allowance. Two pairs, opened at right-angles to form a square, framing the photograph as though ready to slice it apart._

 _Scissors._

"No..."

" _Yes_ , Jade." Holly leaned back, exhausted.

Jade stared numbly at the table, breathing heavily. Finally she looked up, her eyes dark with anger.

"Tell me."

.

.

.

Tori walked on, barely knowing where she was going. Everything looked different, a shift of reality worse than that the night she'd found out about the Lake, the night when all her illusions about dominance and control had been stripped away. And now it had all changed again, as she tumbled deeper and deeper down the rabbit-hole of Jade's psyche, wondering if she'd ever reach the bottom, ever find bedrock, ever find a place to get her footing and start the long climb back to the light.

.

.

.

"You came to the Club that night with Caroline," Holly said. "You have to understand that I didn't _know_ you then, Jade, Tori hadn't started at Hollywood Arts. As far as I was concerned you were a nineteen-year-old student called Sally Easterbrook, we had no background check on you because Caroline was a guest. Anyway, you seemed happy enough, Caroline and I talked, she told me a little about you, and everything was going smoothly until you insisted on getting involved, trying out a scenario. Caroline wasn't comfortable with it, she didn't want you to get hurt, and if I'd known what _she_ knew, I'd have objected as well. But you kept pushing her, and eventually she agreed. So we took you to the Red Room.

"It was nothing serious - you weren't members, and as such we had to tread carefully. I wanted to impress Caroline, make the Club seem like a decent place to be. You wanted a little light restraint, so that's what we did. And all went well. The cuffs weren't lockable, they were Velcro, you could get out any time you wanted. But I should have recognized the signs. You were tense, too tense. But we went ahead anyway, and everything seemed normal.

"And then we put the blindfold on.

"Sweet mother of God, Jade, I've never been so frightened in my life. You went wild. Insane. You broke the restraints and started attacking us, kicking, thrashing, biting - you were like an _animal_ , lashing out at anyone who came near you. The cross came down on Deborah, and cut her face pretty badly. It took four of us to try to hold you down, but it was no good, you didn't even know who we were - it was as though you were fighting something _else_ , something only you could see. And Caroline, poor Caroline...

"We panicked. I panicked. And I did the only thing I could think of."

Jade reached out and touched the small glass bottle. "You gave me this."

Holly nodded. "Whatever else it is, it does have a sedative effect. I thought it might calm you down, at least give us the chance to think. But it didn't. You reacted badly to it, very badly. You started having convulsions, frothing at the mouth. You stopped breathing. I didn't know what to do. I was terrified. People were running around, shouting, trying to lock down the Club so no one could see. In the end I gave you an adrenaline shot," she said. "I can't believe it worked, I'd only ever seen it in the movies."

Jade snorted in disbelief. "In the... Jesus, Holly, you could have killed me!"

"I saved your life!" Holly snapped. "Marla wanted to let you _die_. She said we didn't want a scandal, that we should just dump your body in the river and deny you were ever there."

"But what about Caroline?" Jade said. "She wouldn't have let them do that!"

Holly looked away, her face drawn. "Caroline was gone."

"What?"

"When she saw what was happening to you, when she realized what she'd done by bringing you there, she couldn't stand it. Her heart gave out and she collapsed. The medics tried to revive her but it was too late. She died."

"Oh, God."

"Caroline loved you. She told them to help you first, but Marla wouldn't hear of it. Caroline was a respectable woman. You were just a tramp."

"Holly!"

"Marla's words, not mine. I was left alone with you in the Red Room. You were still unconscious, but you were breathing again. When I was sure you were stable, I dressed you - Caroline had brought a bag with some of your clothes in it, in case you changed your mind and wanted to go somewhere else. I carried you down the corridor to the back entrance into the parking lot."

 _The corridor_. Blood stains on the floor. The awful familiarity, the feeling of trepidation as she and Tori had used it to get into the Club.

"I drove for hours with you in the back seat, wondering what to do. I couldn't take you home, I had no idea who you were. I couldn't go to the police. In the end I doused you with a bottle of whiskey I had in the glove box and I-"

"…dumped me outside the hospital," Jade murmured in realization. " _That's_ where I'd been, when my dad told me I'd had a relapse. He thought I'd got drunk and tried to kill myself again. I couldn't remember."

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know."

Jade said nothing.

"All I could hope for was that you'd disappear and get on with your life, put it down to a blackout. T.T. makes things hazy, hard to recall, and you'd never met any of us before. There was nothing about your clothes to suggest you'd been anywhere other than a bar. Simon drove Caroline to a different hospital, told them he'd been hired to take her to a business dinner and she'd had a heart attack in the back of the car. No one questioned it, she lived alone and there was no reason to suspect foul play, the cause of death was genuine.

"Later, when I found out who you really were, things got more complicated - because Marla found out, too, and she never stopped needling me to do something about you, to watch you, make sure you never said anything. That's why I wanted you at the Club, Jade. I needed you close. I saved you, and so you were _my_ responsibility - there was no telling what Marla would do if she thought you were out of control. And I thought that if you were part of the Club then if you ever _did_ remember, you'd be less likely to cause trouble or go to the police if you were invested in it, if it was important to you. There was even a chance that if it was familiar enough you might just write off the memory as a bad dream. And when Tori was invited to Hollywood Arts, it seemed perfect. She never stopped talking about you, I could see she was attracted."

"So you told her I was a sub."

"That's the only way I'd ever _seen_ you, Jade. If I'd known you better, maybe I'd have done things differently. I tried to fix it by making you a member, but it was all too late by then. You were already trying to find out things for yourself. You broke into the Club."

"You knew?"

"Of course. Tori practically gave it away."

"So why didn't you do anything?"

"Partly for Tori's sake, because I knew she wouldn't let you take responsibility alone. And partly for you."

"Me?"

"I don't mean you any _harm_ , Jade, no matter what you think. I never did. I only wanted to protect you."

" _Protect_ me?" Jade said. "You drugged me, dumped me outside a hospital, then brought me back into your filthy, fucked up little world so you could do it to me all over again! You didn't want to protect me, all you cared about was your precious _Club_. So spare me the maternal bullshit, Holly, because I'm not buying it. You and your little friends are going down."

"And Tori?"

Jade hesitated. "Tori?"

"Would you take everything away from her? Everything we own is bound up in the Club. If it fails we'll lose it all. No more Hollywood Arts, no more fancy house. No college fees. Would you do that to her?"

"She... I could look after her."

"Maybe you could. But would she want that? Would she want to be your charity case knowing you'd ruined her family?"

"That's not fair!"

"I know. And I'm sorry. But all of this was a _mistake_. My mistake. I let things snowball because I always thought I could get it all back under control, play the different angles, bring us all through it without really hurting anyone. I thought I had... what's the phrase?"

" _'The mad agility of compound deceit._ '"

"Exactly. But you weren't so easily manipulated, and in the end it's come to this. You and me. Here. Now."

"So you win."

Holly sighed. "There are no winners in this game, Jade," she said. "Me least of all. You've been hurt, but at least you have someone who loves you. I'll never have that again."

Jade slumped in her chair, staring at the picture on the table.

Holly looked at her, sympathetically. "I'm sorry, I really am," she said. "If I could change it, I would. But it's true."

"It's not that," Jade said, distantly. She waved a hand at the folder. "I get all this. Some of it even makes sense. I remember the corridor, now. I remember voices. I remember Caroline. I believe you."

"Then what?"

"I hate you, Holly." There were tears glistening in her eyes. "Not for this. This is bad enough. You messed with my life, took away my memories, put me through months of hell. Left a good woman unmourned."

"She didn't go unmourned, Jade."

"She did by me. She cared about me, and if I cared about her as much as you say, you took that away from me. You were willing to leave me rotting in a hospital never knowing what had happened to her, never knowing how she died. That it was _my_ fault."

"It wasn't your fault!"

"It was _because_ of me, Holly. If I'd never gone to her, she'd still be alive. But that's not why I hate you."

"Then why?"

"Because if what you say is true, then…" Jade's voice cracked. She looked down at the thin bracelet around her wrist.

"If what you say is true," she whispered, "then she never came back for me at all."

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Tori found herself outside her own front door. The lights were on, but that meant nothing. Somehow the thought of going into an empty house was _worse_ , sitting alone, waiting, knowing that Jade was out there somewhere, blithely unaware of the truth. Maybe she should say nothing. Maybe that would be for the best. Just let everything play out the way Jade thought it would, bury it the way it had always been buried, one single act of kindness, of indulgence. Bandage the boil instead of lancing it, and hope it would fade away. It would take longer, but it would hurt less.

But it wouldn't play out that way. It never did. The obsession would get worse. _What had Jade done? Had she looked the other way while when you went down to the cellar?_ _No. She'd broken the mirror. Cut the braids. Set you free._ And that had hurt, a lifetime of secrets lain raw. But the wound had healed all the cleaner for being so swift. Would Jade see this the same way? _Or will she hate you forever for what you're about to take away from her_?

She reached for the door handle.

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.

"Who?"

"Sally," Jade said. "If all this is true, then she never came back. She left me at the end of that summer without even saying goodbye, and she never came _back_."

"Jade..."

"Why would she _do_ that, Holly?" Jade's voice began to rise, tight with emotion. "Why would she do that to me? She was my friend. My _best_ friend. And it turns out she didn't care about me at all!"

"I'm sure she did, Jade, I don't really-"

"Then why?" Jade was almost shouting now. "Why would she leave me? How _could_ she? She was all I had! Why did she go, Holly?"

"I don't-"

"Why did she _leave_ me?"

Holly heard it first. The creak of the door. Her eyes flickered towards the visitor. Jade turned in response.

"Tori?" she said.

Tori stood, shoulders slumped, eyes red. Her voice, when it came, was hollow, drained.

"She didn't leave you, Jade," she said, quietly. "She never left you."

"What do you mean?"

And for a moment there was a terrible silence.

"I spoke to your dad today."

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	55. Chapter 55 - Sally Come Home

**Well, I honestly never thought we'd get to this point, but here we are. This is not the end - we still have to deal with Marla, and Deborah, and the fate of the girls at the Lake. But this is the end of the journey that began in the opening chapter.**

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 _The shadows keep on falling…_

 _As Sally comes marching home._

 _._

 _._

 _._

The clock ticked. Barely audible, but heavy with dread. Sparse and leaden, like the funeral drum for a dead soldier.

 _I spoke to your dad today._

 _How dare she_? was all Jade could think, even though she knew that it was stupid. She'd given her life to Tori, she didn't want to hide anything from her. And yet there was something disturbing about knowing that one part of her life had touched another without her knowledge, a sense of vertigo, of shifting sands. The breathless calm before the levee breaks.

 _He calls it the accident_ , she said. _But we know that's not true, don't we? We know it was anything but an accident._

Of course Tori knew that. She'd _told_ her that.

 _You weren't hurt badly. Not physically. There isn't a bridge over the creek higher than ten feet. But that wasn't why they were worried, was it? No one falls off a bridge, Jade. They all knew. They all knew what you'd tried to do. That's why..._

And then it began. She sat, helpless, half-listening as Tori's words echoed in the stillness, filling the room, coiling around her, suffocating the life out of her, killing her.

 _You never left the hospital that summer, Jade. They couldn't let you out. You were under observation, heavily sedated, almost until the day you went back to school. You didn't see anyone, not even Cat. No one was supposed to know, they told everyone you were staying with relatives. You never hung out at the tattoo_ _parlor_ _, you never went to the beach._

 _You never met anyone called Sally Easterbrook._

 _…_ _No, Jade, your dad's never heard of her. Cat's never heard of her. And I bet if I asked Beck, or your mom, they wouldn't have heard of her, either. There was no Sally Easterbrook. Not then. Not ever._

 _It's about the Lake, Jade, it was always about the Lake. Because that's where she came from, that's where Sally was born. I think that what they did there was so terrible, so devastating, that you broke off a little piece of you, a fragment of yourself, and buried it deep down inside you to keep it away from them, so deep that even you didn't know it was there. A little piece that they couldn't touch, that you could hold on to, even if they took everything else away. A last stand. Something so hard, so unbreakable, that it could endure a torment I can't even imagine._

 _But it couldn't be Jade West, could it? Jade West was weak, broken. Jade West was a disgrace in your eyes. Jade West had failed, she hadn't been able to protect the things that her father cared about. But Sally wasn't weak. Sally was strong. Sally was indestructible. Sally could cope with anything. And so you clung onto her, kept her there inside you through that summer, letting her protect you, rebuild your confidence, make sense of what had happened. A shoulder to cry on that would never reject you, that would always understand. A big sister. You remember what we talked about in the restaurant? Everyone needs someone to look up to. And Sally was your rock. Sometimes she was mean to you, even in your dreams, but only because you knew that that's what you needed._

 _Nobody fixed you, Jade, that summer. You fixed yourself. Or at least as much as you could, enough to carry on, to face the world again. Jade might not have been able to do it alone, but Jade and Sally could do it together._

 _…_ _Why Sally? I don't know, Jade. I really don't know where that came from. My guess it that it has something to do with the compass. You said yourself that the compass was you. And when it came back from the Lake the needle was stuck. South-East._

 _S.E._

 _Sally Easterbrook._

 _…_ _Maybe it is, but what do you really know about her, Jade? Where did she live? Where did she go? You don't really remember, do you? Because you never really needed to know. She was just there. She disappeared at the end of the summer not because she didn't care about you, but because you didn't need her anymore. You'd come to terms with what happened, you were ready to move on with your life. Or at least that's what you thought._

 _And then she came back._

The ticking of the clock seemed to slow, time dilating, stretching to fit around Tori's words.

 _And when did she come back? Around the time I started at Hollywood Arts._

 _What did she look like, Jade? What did she look like when you pictured her? I think I can guess. I've heard you talking in your sleep. Big, sad eyes, long brown hair, whipped by the wind. I thought you were talking about me, but you weren't, were you? You were talking about her._

 _She looked like me, didn't she, Jade? In your head. Not exactly, but enough. Enough to bring it all up again, enough for you to go back there, feel the anger rising up again. That's why you hated me when I started school, because I was a constant reminder of something you thought you'd put away forever. You could never quite bring yourself to destroy me, because that would be like hurting her, so you just kept circling, scratching at an itch you could never reach. You tried to find a way out, a way to vent the things you were feeling._

 _Art classes? No, not art classes._

 _Where are the pictures, Jade? Where are the pictures you drew? Three times a week, Jade, that's a lot of art. Yes, I've seen that one, and it'll haunt me for the rest of my life, believe me. But it's the only one, isn't it? There are no others, because you never went again. You brought that picture home, and you hung it up, and when they couldn't see it, when they didn't understand, you left the class and you went looking for something else. Another way out._

 _You went to Caroline._

 _...I don't know why, Jade. Maybe you were looking for the same kind of catharsis you got from me, to be pushed too far, to take back control of your pain. But Caroline never could, could she? Caroline could never bring herself to go too far. So you let her take you to the Club._

 _And that's where it all went wrong. Because whatever happened to you in there twisted everything. Before you went there, I think you knew that Sally wasn't real, it was just a name in your head that you used to fool Caroline. Maybe it felt like a little in-joke, to use the name of an imaginary friend for your alter-ego. But when you woke up you couldn't distinguish between them. You had no memory of actually going to the Club, as far as you were concerned you'd woken up in the hospital after a drinking binge, but you could still recall the house, and fragments of your time with Caroline, so all you knew for sure was that a girl called Sally had gone to the Club and disappeared, a girl with the same name you remembered from the summer before. And so you started looking for her._

 _You didn't find the card in my bag, did you? Not even you could have worked it out from that. It was my mom. You met my mom, and you recognized her, but you didn't know where from. You just knew that somehow, in some way, I'd be the key to the Diamond Club._

 _._

 _._

 _._

"You're lying." It was almost a mewl, there was no conviction in it, no force.

"I'm _sorry_ ," Tori said. "I know this hurts, and I didn't want to do it. I'd do _anything_ not to hurt you anymore. I don't want to make you feel like you're alone. But it's _true."_

"It can't be!" But something at the back of her mind clamored for attention, something terrible. A voice. _I missed you..._

"Think about her, Jade!" Tori said. "Think about Sally. She's tough, she's smart, she's funny - all the things you think about yourself. All the things _I_ think about you. You created her, back there in the hospital, you created her to keep you safe, so that you'd _always_ have someone to look up to, always have someone there for you. And she was. And she still _can_ be, Jade. She'll always be there, but you have to let her _in."_

 _...I'm coming home soon, Jadey …_

"I can't!"

"Let her in, Jade! Let her come back," Tori pleaded. "You'll never be whole without her."

 _...soon…_

"No..."

"Please, Jade, for the love of God! Let her in!"

 _...I'm coming…_

"No!"

"Jade! Please!"

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 _…_ _I'm here._

 _._

 _._

 _._

And then the levee burst, and the flood waters came down with a sickening crash as she slid to the floor, curling tighter and tighter into a ball, fists clenched, nails digging deep into her palms, eyes tight shut against the sting of the tears, an unearthly sound escaping her lips, a long, keening wail, that shook the walls and stopped the clock, and subsided only when there was no more breath left in heaven and earth to draw.

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As Sally Easterbrook finally came home.


	56. Chapter 56 - Elegy

**I'm sorry - Sal's been with us for so long that I couldn't let her go without a farewell.**

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _Dear Sal._

 _._

 _This is... pretty strange, talking to you when I know you're not there. It feels like one of those improv things that Sikowitz likes, where you have to carry on a conversation with an empty chair. But it's something I have to do, I think. I can't let it go just like that._

 _I don't know how long I've got. I'm sleeping right now. At least I think I am. I'm not conscious, anyway. I think Tori must have put me to bed. Maybe that's for the best. My brain hurts. It's been a long day._

 _Where did you come from, Sal?_

 _It's ironic that I never thought to ask you that until you couldn't answer. Tori says you're me, a part of me that I hid from the girls at the Lake. Is that right? You'd think I ought to know, but I've been wrong about so many things._

 _Or maybe you're my conscience. Maybe you were there to keep me from turning into one of them, to be my good side, my angel._

 _But you never struck me as an angel._

 _Perhaps you were an imaginary friend. Yeah, I know_ _that's just for little kids, but sometimes I think that's all I am, inside. Still that sad, weird little girl that no one wants to play with._

 _All I wanted was someone to be there, someone to comfort me in the darkness and tell me it was going to be okay. Someone to chase away the dreams, to stop the big girls from hurting me. What's wrong with that? What's so bad about that that they have to take it away?_

 _But I'm not a child. I'm not supposed to have these things anymore, I guess. I have to be brave, and stand up for myself. Be the girl I've always pretended to be. Go it alone._

 _But it's going to be hard, Sal. It's going to be real hard. Because there are going to be times when I need you, and all there'll be is silence, just the empty chair._

 _Of course, I have Tori now. And I love her. I really do. I can't explain what she's done for me, what I've put her through, and she's stood by me, through all the craziness. It's not over yet, either, who knows what else is going to happen before the end. But she's strong, she'll come through it. She's tougher than you think, she's been through her own hell before she even got to mine._

 _But it's a grown-up love, Sal. There's no innocence, we missed out on that. We have a future, but no past. There'll be happiness, I think, and good times; but there'll be tears, too, and disappointment along the way. Sometimes I'll upset her, and sometimes she'll make me angry, and we'll fight and I'll hate myself, and I'll have no one to talk to because she's the only friend I've got. Maybe that's just the way life is._

 _But I hope, I really hope, we can make it. I sometimes wish I could step outside this story, this play that we find ourselves in, and say - you know what, babe, why don't we just skip it? Forget the second half, let's just go out of the_ _theater_ _into the sunshine, and have some fun. Let the rest of the audience stay for the finale, we'll just catch them up later, ask them how it ends._

 _What is there to say, Sal? What else to say before I close the book forever? What elegy can I offer for a friend that didn't exist? I'll never forget the time we spent together, even if it was only in my head. Even if the beach and the ice-cream weren't real, and the sand between our toes only tickled in my mind. What does it say about me that the happiest time I ever had was spent half-conscious in a hospital, that my only friend was a drug-induced dream?_

 _Tori says I forgot you at the end of the summer, that I didn't need you anymore, and maybe she's right. If she is, I'm sorry - it seems cruel of me, now, when you think about how much I blamed you for leaving me. I should have known you never would. I should have known that I'd be the one to walk away._

 _She thinks you look like her, too. She's one smart cookie, Tori, sometimes. I would never have worked that out. But she's right. Maybe that's why I was attracted to her, maybe you and she are just the image I've always had of the perfect friend._

 _She's wrong about the woods, though. I know that now. You didn't come from the Lake. You'd never come from somewhere so dire, so dark. I like to think you were always there in me, somewhere, sleeping like the king in the mountain, ready to ride forth and rescue your kingdom._

 _And I'm grateful. You'll never know how glad I am that I stayed alive, that it didn't end there in that muddy ditch under the bridge. Tori probably thinks I'm stupid for expecting that to kill me, but then Tori doesn't know my secret. Only you and I know._

 _Well, only me, now, I guess._

 _I think that's what I want to say more than anything. Thank you. If it wasn't for you I would have just been a footnote in other people's lives, an ugly_ _rumor_ _at school, a photograph on the fireplace that my mom would dust every day; and sometimes she'd take it down, and cry quietly when she though no one was looking. And my dad would never know what happened, why his little girl went away to camp so full of confidence, and came home so broken that she never saw her next birthday. Maybe, in time, I'll find the courage to tell him._

 _Were you real? You know, there's an ontological argument for the existence of God. You want to hear it? It goes something like this. For God to be God, He's got to be perfect, you know? He's got to be the best there is. Stands to reason. He's God. And being real, so the theory goes, is better than not being real. Therefore if God is perfect, he must be real. What do you think about that? Does that sound like a crock to you? Because I'm not sure being real is better than not being real. I mean, I'm real, and sometimes I feel pretty shitty. I'm pretty sure I don't feel any better than, say, a unicorn. Whereas, you're not real, you're a total figment of my imagination, and you're the best goddamn friend there ever was. I mean, I know you could be pretty hard on me, sometimes, but Tori's right, sometimes I needed that, to keep me on the straight and narrow. But all in all, I'd put you up against God any day._

 _How do you like that, Sal? You and God, duking it out for me. Man, that guy had better find Himself a soft cloud to sit on, because you'd kick his ass._

 _So this is it, Sal. Goodbye. This is what they call closure, I guess. Tori says I should let you in, let you come home. But you don't really belong to me, do you, Sal? I don't like to think of you stuck in here with me, muted and silent. I like to think of you as being out there, free, watching over me._

 _You know what bugs me? I know, I just know, that I won't remember any of this when I wake up, that I'll be just as confused and angry as I always am, that this little moment of calm is going to be lost. Even now, talking to you, I can feel it, the pressure of what's to come. There's something awful on its way, something bad. Maybe Tori can save me, maybe not, but it's just me and her, now, so we're going to have to pull together._

 _I can feel myself coming up towards the surface, now, waking. I don't have much time. But..._

 _Can I ask you something, Sal? I know I shouldn't, I know Holly's probably itching to have me committed, but would you mind if sometimes, just once in a while, I talk to you? You don't have to reply, I know you can't. But it'll help to know that somewhere in my head there's a place I can go, someone to turn to when it gets too much, someone to make it better, someone to..._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _Someone to catch the tears before they fall on my new shoes._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _Oh God._

 _Oh God, Sal. I know. I know who you are._

 _I remember you._

 _I remember you, and the memory fills me like the light of the sun. You didn't come from the Lake. You came from somewhere else, somewhere before. You were real. Sweet Jesus, I can't tell you how good that feels, to know that I once saw your face. I remember you._

 _We'll never meet again, Sal. I know that. I won't come looking for you. But I'll never forget what you did. I'll never forget how kind you were that day. I'll never..._

 _I have to go now, Sal. I'm waking up. It hurts to know that this will be gone, that the light will die as soon as I open my eyes. But it's enough to know that here and now, in this moment, I remember._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _Goodbye, Sal. And thanks for everything._


	57. Chapter 57 - The Tide Begins to Turn

**My apologies, I know I said it would all be over by Christmas, but we didn't quite make it. Easter's looking good, though.**

 **Before we go any further, I just want to check that we all remember who Deborah really is (apart from being Marla's daughter). For anyone who doesn't, you might want to take a look back at Chapter 14.**

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Tori came back down the stairs, a catatonic Jade tucked up in her bed. It was starting to become a habit.

"She's sleeping."

"Is she going to be all right?" Holly asked.

"No, mom," she's not going to be all _right,"_ Tori spat, angrily. "She's going to need about twenty years of therapy after what we've just done to her. God, I wish I'd thought it through before I said anything, broken it to her more gently."

"Tori..."

"Can you imagine what it was like for her to find out like that? To have everything she believed just kicked away from under her? Her whole life's revolved around this. For the last two years, she's believed, and I mean, really _believed_ , that Sally was real. That Sally disappeared after she came to the Club, that something happened to her there."

"And she's spent all this time trying to find her?"

"Yes. That's what the whole thing's been about."

"What do you mean?"

Tori sighed. "That day at school, when I told her what I was, that I knew what _she_ was. She didn't fall for that at all _._ She was waiting for it."

"Waiting?"

"Waiting for me to show my hand, make a move. Let her into the secret. She never wanted any of this, mom. She hated it. But she put herself through the misery to get to the Diamond Club. To find out about Sally."

"And you knew?" Holly said.

"I found out. After the crash."

"But why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I was sick of it, mom. Sick of all of this."

"What, so you just went along with it?"

"Yes, I did. I helped her. You know why? Because I found the recordings she'd made. You have no idea what it was like to hear that, mom. You have no idea what it was like to hear us dissected like that, to find out what we were like. There's no wonder you never wanted me to look this stuff up on the internet. It wasn't because _they_ were wrong, was it? It's because _we_ were wrong. _We're_ the bad guys. We're the kind of people _other_ people get warned about."

"You're being over-dramatic, Tori."

"You wouldn't say that if you'd heard it. I helped her because I couldn't bear the thought that she'd spend the rest of her life thinking of me as a callous, manipulative little gank."

"Tori..."

"I loved her, mom, but I didn't realize it until then. I didn't realize it until I saw her as a person, and not a thing. And she loved me too, despite everything. So I helped her to try and find out the truth, to give her some peace." She stared at her hands. "I just never thought the truth would turn out to be this."

"I'm sorry."

"You're _sorry_? Jesus, mom, sorry is just not going to cut it right now. Because I heard what you were saying before I came in. I know what you did to her. And I tell you this. I have never, _ever_ , been more disgusted with you than I am right now."

"Honey-"

"Don't _'Honey'_ me. How could you, mom?" Tori said, bitterly. "How could you? Jesus. This is the kind of thing you see on all those documentaries about cults. Luring people in, drugging them. Brainwashing them. Because that's what it amounts to, mom, isn't it? Brainwashing. Breaking people, manipulating them, getting them under control and then using every sick little trick in the book to keep them there. The Cult of the Sisterhood. I can't believe my own mother would be involved in something like this."

"It wasn't _like_ that, Tori."

"Wasn't it? I don't know which is worse, the fact that you did this, or the fact that you were going to do it to me. To _her_. I should have known from the way you talked about her that there was something wrong. No emotions, no empathy, just _do this_ , _do that_ , keep her in line, don't let her stray. Christ, I must have been blind. Even when I screwed up, you didn't care about how she really felt, did you? All that, _'work on your relationship'_ bullshit was just about getting her back, because you needed her at the Club. It was all about the Club."

"No!"

"What would you have said, mom, what you would have said if I'd come home from that first 'date' and told you she wanted to give it up? Would you have said, _'okay, honey, if that's what you want'_? Or would you have told me to keep at it, to keep working on her, to try and get her back on the leash? Because that's what she asked me. She asked me if I'd give it up if she didn't want to do it anymore. And you know what? I didn't know the answer! Because all I had was your bullshit running through my head. You know what that's like, mom? To sit there and tell someone I love that I'm not sure whether they're more important than something as stupid, as _trivial_ , as this? I shouldn't have been sat there on a date making small talk, I should have been down on my fucking knees begging her to take me back.

"And now I find out that my whole relationship was just part of the plan. That we were only together because that's what _you_ decided. What would you have done if it had been someone else? Would you have just fired me off towards Cat, or Alyssa, or some other random girl that you needed to get your claws into because you'd already had one go at fucking up their life and you hadn't quite managed it? There's no wonder I thought she was worth less than a pair of shoes, mom, because that's exactly the attitude I got from _you_. That's how you think about me, isn't it? I'm not your daughter, I'm just another damned slave, like everyone else in your life."

"Tori!"

"Tell me, mom, tell me you ever cared about me. Tell me that somewhere, deep down, you ever gave a rat's ass about me, or our family."

I've done _everything_ for this family!"

"Everything but loved us!"

"How dare you!" Holly snapped. "All I've ever done is think about you! Do you have any idea, any idea at _all,_ of the kind of pressure I've lived with for the past twenty years? I let Marla drag me into this to save my own mother from going to jail. My own mother, the woman who beat me, who drove away my father, who tortured innocent girls in the cellar, I saved her because despite everything she was family. But it wasn't just for her. I did it for you and your sister, to save you from living with the shame, the ignominy of what she'd done. I've watched Marla twist everything I once knew, desecrate the memory of the woman I loved, and I said nothing. Do you know why? Because that threat _never went away_. Marla always made it clear that she could still ruin us. Can you imagine what it would have been like for you? It wouldn't take much, just an anonymous call, and we'd be splashed all over the papers. And that's if we were lucky. Worst-case scenario, the cops would be here faster than you could say 'House of Horrors', digging up the basement looking for the bodies of every missing kid on the files. Marla said she wasn't the first."

"Mom!"

"I don't believe her," Holly said. "I don't think even your grandmother was capable of that. But the rumor would be enough. you'd never have a career, you'd never escape it. Every interview you ever did would come back to what she did, how it affected you, what was it like to live with a monster. You'd just be a ghoulish novelty. And that's without them digging into Jade's past. Whatever happened to her, you'd better be prepared to read all about it in the next edition."

"What do you mean?"

"How long do you think it would take for that story to come up once they found out you were together? The press would have a field day. Do you think she'd want that?"

"Are you threatening me?"

"No, Tori, of course not," Holly said. "I'm just trying to show you that not everything is as simple as it seems." She sighed. "I've been a terrible mother, Tori. A terrible wife. A terrible domme. I've hurt people that didn't deserve it, and I've used people badly. But in all that, I've always tried to protect you."

"Protect me?"

"Shield you from the aftermath of a mistake that happened before you were born. Ever since I was your age, I've been trying to shore up the future against the past, and everything I've ever done has just made it worse. I started with a few pebbles, and before I knew it I'd built a dam a thousand feet high, and still the water keeps on coming. I'm not asking for your sympathy, I'm not asking for your forgiveness, I'm just trying to explain. Because the dam is going to break."

"What do you mean?"

"What's going to happen when she wakes up? She knows everything, now. She knows who she is, she knows what I've done. She knows what's going on at the Club. She's even got a bottleful of proof." She nodded towards the table.

"You're not going to hide it?"

"No," Holly said. "I'm not going to do anything. I'm not going to run, I'm not going to hide. Whatever happens now is up to her. And you."

"Me?"

"She'd never do anything to hurt you."

"Are you asking me to _protect_ you?"

Holly laughed, a harsh, mirthless sound. "No," she said. "I daresay you hate me right now, Tori. And I don't really blame you. I hated my own mother, but at least she had the decency to actually be insane. I can't even claim that. I'm just your ordinary, everyday, bad mom with a bondage fetish." She stood up, and reached for her coat.

Tori blinked in surprise. "You're going out?"

"Yes."

"Where?"

"To do the only decent thing I can do right now. The only thing that might help either of you."

"What?"

Holly clenched a fist inside a black leather glove. "I'm going," she said, grimly, "to take back my club." She strode towards the door. "Don't wait up."

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Jade awoke, and for a moment lay there, in a state of bliss. She'd had so many bad dreams lately that a good one filled her with joy to the verge of tears, and yet quite what it had been she couldn't recall, only that it had brought a kind of peace, of tranquillity. A feeling of basking in the sun. But even as she reached for it, tried to grasp it, it disappeared like mist, and the darkness that lay behind it became clear.

Sal was gone. The bliss disappeared as she was engulfed by a feeling of absolute desolation, of utter loneliness. The one constant in her life, the one true friend she'd ever had, was gone.

No, worse than that, Sally had never _been_. It was her. All her. The futility of it almost made her weep. She'd focused everything, every thought, every act, on finding her, and it had all been for nothing. And Holly had known all along. It was almost to the woman's credit that she hadn't laughed in Jade's face, knowing she was on a road to nowhere, a fool's errand, that her quest would lead her back to where she started. She had no doubt now that it was true, the memories that Holly had triggered were too real, too certain. She couldn't even go to the police - the Club would close ranks, accuse her of being delusional, suicidal, bearing a grudge. Holly had been prepared for their confrontation, she'd probably already taken steps to protect herself. She wouldn't be surprised if she tried to have her committed.

What would they call it? Multiple personality disorder? Schizophrenia? She wasn't insane, whatever they said. But that wouldn't stop them.

They'd done this to her. They'd driven her to this. The girls at the Lake. The Club.

Memories were coming thick and fast now, standing in the Red Room, the nervous expression on Caroline's face - _are you sure_? And her nodding, absolutely determined to get up there and show them she wasn't afraid, that she could take anything, bluffing it out as a stranger in a strange land. She could feel the straps on her wrists, the coolness of the leather, the scratch of the Velcro, the air of icy deliberation in the room. Eyes watching her.

A pair of eyes. Black and soulless. A pair of eyes gazing into her own as the blindfold lifted to shut out the light. A pair of eyes as cold as death.

She sat bolt upright, and felt ice run down her spine as time and space collapsed to a single point. She'd seen those eyes before, and not just at the Club. The same eyes but in a different face, a younger face, fresh and freckled, before time and circumstance had conspired to change it. She'd seen those eyes deep in the woods, all those years ago, staring intently at her, watching her with the same mocking cruelty, the same air of anticipation.

The same eyes watching as the filthy sack came down over her head.

 _Deborah_.

She scrabbled for her clothes, found the leather outfit. She rummaged around, pulling out a pair of scissors from her boot and the business card slipped into the pocket. She snatched her phone from the nightstand, and dialled. She crumpled up the card impatiently as she waited for an answer.

"It's me," she said, when it came. "Jade."

"Well, well," the voice on the other end said. "I didn't think I'd be hearing from you so soon after your little adventure."

"It's on. The deal's on."

"I knew you wouldn't be able to hold out for long. Your type never can."

"Two thousand."

"Two?"

"Yes."

"...Very well, I'll let you know when and where I want you."

"No. Tonight. It has to be tonight."

"You don't get to decide."

"It has to be tonight or the deal's off."

There was a pause on the other end of the line. Jade held her breath. Finally the voice came back with an affected nonchalance.

"I suppose I could stand to have a little fun tonight," it said. "Be here in half an hour. If you're late it will go badly for you."

Jade exhaled. "I'll be there."

"You'd better be. Here's the address."

She scribbled it down. "Got it."

"Good. And remember, Jade, two thousand dollars buys a lot of pain."

Jade shut off the call and dropped the card on the bed. She ran her fingers gently down the blade of the scissors.

"Yes it does, Deborah," she murmured. "Yes it does."

She dressed quickly, packed her bag, and slid open the bedroom window.

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 **Looks like Marla and Deborah are in for an interesting night.**


	58. Chapter 58 - A Game of Thrones Part 1

**Hi, welcome back. I was going to say something here, but I've forgotten what it was. If it comes to me, I'll update.**

 **Many thanks for your reviews. Not far to go, now. The film Deborah's thinking of is 'Jurassic Park', and we all know how _that_ little scene turned out...**

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Holly stood silently outside the Club. If Marla was anywhere, she'd be here. She wondered if Marla had any idea that she was in the wrong, if she was worried about what Holly might do. A swipe of her passcard told her she wasn't. Marla hadn't bothered to lock her out.

She walked across the empty expanse of the main hall. The Club always felt different when it was empty, bigger, and it seemed an age until she reached the door at the back, her heels clicked on the parquet dancefloor, echoing in the silence. She punched in the code, and began to climb the stairs, listening for any sign of life in the gloom. At the top she turned, and made her way down the narrow corridor to the office. The door was ajar, a light flickering. Candles. Marla liked to work by candlelight, it appealed to her faux-aristocratic tendencies. She was probably working on a new letter from the 'President'.

She reached briefly into her pocket, her fingers searching for what lay within. She wondered if Jade would appreciate the irony of it, that this had been her idea, albeit unwittingly. Maybe she'd tell her one day, if the gamble paid off. She took a breath, and pushed open the door. Marla was sat at her desk, a few papers and a large tumbler of brandy in front of her. She looked up.

"Holly," she said in surprise.

"Hello, Marla."

"What do you want?"

Holly thought very carefully. She needed this conversation to go exactly the way she wanted, otherwise she'd be sucked down the hole too. The game was on.

"I want to talk."

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Jade West drove towards the address she'd been given. She felt strangely unreal, disconnected, absolved of responsibility. With the realization that Sally hadn't existed had come the realization of something else, something worse, and now she felt the freedom of the damned, the clarity of the condemned. Tori would never want her now. Not after what she'd done.

Because if Sally hadn't been there, if Sally hadn't gone to Echo Lake the day the girls died, then someone else had. And now there were no more options, nothing else to do, but finish what she'd started.

She drove on, into the night.

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Tori walked back up the stairs with a sense of déjà vu. No, not déjà vu - she'd _definitely_ been here before. She seemed to spend half her life trudging up and down these stairs, alternating between making sure Jade was still alive after the latest calamity, and hearing her mom reveal yet another layer of horror. She wasn't sure what she'd meant by 'taking back her club', but it sounded like the kind of scheme that was only going to dig them all in deeper. It depressed her to think that this had been going on her whole life, that every happy childhood memory had taken place against a backdrop of agony and deceit, and that when she'd sat on her mom's knee, laughing and eating ice-cream, Holly Vega's attention had been elsewhere, mired in the mephitic swamp of the Diamond Club.

Trina's door was ajar, music drifting through it. She wondered if she should talk to her sister about any of this. Maybe she already knew, she seemed to know a lot of things Tori didn't. She'd never really given Trina much thought up until now, but she began to wonder if she wasn't a lot smarter than she let on, if her lackadaisical attitude towards the rest of her family wasn't just a way of distancing herself, keeping her mind free from their self-inflicted misery. Jade might have turned out differently if she'd had a big sister, instead of having to make one up - might have mellowed more, been less serious. Might have had someone she could tell, when she came back from the Lake, someone to share her terrors with without worrying that it would destroy them.

 _Jade_. She should check on her. She opened her bedroom door quietly.

An empty bed. She glanced around the room, puzzled. Maybe she'd gone to the bathroom. She walked down the corridor, but the bathroom door was open, the inside in darkness. "Jade?"

There was no answer, and for the first time she began to feel unsettled. She backed up and knocked on Trina's door, gave her a few seconds to stop whatever she was doing, and went in. "Trina?"

"You know, you're supposed to wait until I say 'Come in', Trina said, irritably.

"Sorry. Have you seen Jade?"

Trina pulled a face. "Five feet seven, brown hair, face like something's died in her mouth?"

"Trina!"

"No I haven't. Have you lost her?"

"She was in bed. Now she's gone."

"Well she's not in here. Maybe she went out."

"I've been downstairs with mom. She didn't come past us."

Trina's smirk faded. She got up, and followed Tori back into her room. "She was right here," Tori said. "Asleep."

Trina crossed the room. "The window's open."

"The window?" Tori said. "Why would she go out the window?"

"So you couldn't see her?" Trina suggested, as though it was obvious.

"But why wouldn't she want me to-"

"What's this?" Trina said, picking something up off the bed. It was a small crumpled piece of card. Tori took it and straightened it out.

She peered at the name. "Deborah Negovanlis?" She looked up to see that Trina's face had gone white. "What? What is it?"

Trina snatched it from her. "Where did she get this?"

"I don't know," Tori said. "She was talking to some woman at the Club. We'd seen her before, I think, after the skit."

"What did she look like?"

Tori shrugged. "Blond hair. Dark eyes. Had some work done. Why?"

"Oh, Christ."

"What?"

"You need to move your ass, Tori. You need to move your ass _right now_ , or there's going to be trouble."

"What? What is it?"

"I think Jade's gone to see her."

"In the middle of the _night_? You're not making any sense, Trina. Why would she do that?"

Trina took a deep breath. "Deborah is the last of the girls from Echo Lake," she said. "Why do _you_ think she's gone to see her?"

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Deborah Negovanlis, née Bowden, stood in the living room of her apartment. Jade was fractionally late, but that didn't bother her. It pleased her immensely. She wasn't deluded enough to think that Jade would genuinely want to serve her, to obey her. That wasn't what she wanted. She _wanted_ her to disobey. She wanted to inflict pain. Deborah was a sadist in the true sense of the word. She'd discovered that at the Lake, when, as plain old Debbie Bowden, the other girls had accepted her, almost _elected_ her, as their ringleader, their torturer-in-chief. She could still remember the heady feeling of absolute power, not just over the poor girl tied to the tree, but over them. She'd understood, then, what her mother had tried to tell her later - it's not enough to have power over someone who wants to submit, the important thing is to have control over them _all_ , to dominate the dominant, have them carry out your orders, watch them abandon their humanity at your command. She hadn't known the other girls before the trip, she didn't speak to them afterwards - a blessing, since the idiots had managed to get themselves killed before the summer was out - but it had been enough to show her where her talents lay. Her mother was grooming her to take over the Club when she was gone, and her heart sang at the thought of what she could do, how far she could push them all, when that day came. Her mother was still angry over her treatment at the hands of the woman who'd abused her, and it clouded her judgement, made her angry. Deborah had no such weakness, no such conscience. Marla was a sociopath. Deborah was a psychopath.

But first, this. She almost trembled with anticipation at the thought. The girl that they'd had so much fun with in the forest was here again, practically begging for punishment. And she had no idea how thorough that punishment was going to be. She touched the almost invisible scar below her jaw. It was almost ironic that, had it not been for the damage to her face, Jade might have recognized her, shied away. Jade had brought this on herself. She'd sown the wind, and now she was going to reap the whirlwind.

There was a polite tap at the door. She glanced at the clock. Five minutes overdue. Soon enough to show she was keen, late enough to rule out any discrepancies, to be deliberate. Clever girl.

 _Clever girl._ She remembered that from a movie, somewhere. What was it? Probably not important. She rearranged her face into an expression of haughty disapproval, and opened the door.

 _Beautiful_. Jade was stood, head bowed, and wearing an overcoat that, by the look of her boots, covered the skimpy sub outfit she'd worn at the Club. Perfect.

"You're late," she said, icily.

Jade said nothing, but remained where she was, hands behind her back, the picture of silent submission. Eventually Deborah lost her patience. "Well?" she snapped, gripping the whip at her side, itching to get started, "what have you got to say for yourself?"

Jade stayed silent for a few seconds more, before she raised her head, slowly, and her voice when it came, was like a razor blade.

"Hello, _Debbie_."

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"How do you know that?" Tori said, staring at her sister.

"We don't have time for this, Tori. We need to-"

"How do you _know_ that?" Tori's face was ashen. Trina looked away, uncomfortably, and Tori's eyes widened. "Oh, God."

"Tori..."

"Please tell me you weren't."

"Weren't what?"

"You were there!"

"What? No!"

"Yes you were! That's how you know about her!"

"I wasn't!"

"You're lying!"

"I wasn't _there_ ," Trina insisted. "Please, Tori. I swear to God. I don't like Jade, but do you really think I could do something like that?"

"Then how do you _know_?"

"Because…" Trina hesitated. "Because I was _supposed_ to be."

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Deborah froze in confusion. This wasn't right. "What?"

"You don't remember me?" Jade said, with a feigned tone of reproach. "I'm a little hurt by that. I mean, I didn't recognize you at first, what with your brand-new _face_ and everything..."

Deborah's instinct for self-preservation kicked in and she went for the door to slam it, but she was too slow, and Jade's boot sent it crashing open. She fell back into the room as Jade strode through the doorway, the door closing behind her. Deborah backed away. For a moment they stood, facing each other. Finally Deborah spoke.

"What do you want?" she croaked.

"Well, _that's_ not a very nice way to talk to an old friend," Jade said. "You invited me over for a little fun, and here I am." She spread her hands. "Heeeere's Jadey."

"I don't... I've changed my mind. Please leave."

Jade shook her head. "Indecision's a terrible thing in a domme," she said. "If you're not careful I might lose all respect for your authority." She grinned. "And we wouldn't want that, now, would we?"

"Get out!" Deborah scrambled for the phone on the table. "Get out! I'm calling the police."

"I don't think so," Jade said, sourly, snatching it before her. She dropped it to the floor and ground it to splinters under her heel. "I don't think you're going to do that." She kicked the remains under the table. "Now," she said. "Where shall we start?"

Deborah started to panic as Jade advanced on her. "Look," she said, "what happened at the Lake, I'm sorry, I never meant-"

"Indecision _and_ apologies. Man, you're really bad as this game. Maybe," Jade said, "you need to learn some discipline."

"You wouldn't!"

"Oh, wouldn't I? Well, that sounds like a challenge."

"Please, Jade..."

"You know, we missed you at the reunion," Jade said, ignoring her. "Kind of a shame, really. I'm sure we'd have had a blast."

Deborah blinked in shock. "You went?"

"Well," Jade said, "I wasn't _invited,_ as such, but..." She grinned horribly, savoring the moment. "It turns out I went _anyway."_

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"What?" Tori blinked.

"I was supposed to go on the trip," Trina said. "But Mom wouldn't let me go. I was grounded. Deborah was the girl who took my place. She was just someone I met in the nail bar a couple of times. She was looking for something to do that summer, so I gave her their number. I swear I didn't know anything about what happened until you told me. I'd forgotten all about it."

"But…" Tori was horrified. "Why didn't you say something?"

"Why?" Trina said. She waved the crumpled card in front of Tori's face. "Why do you think?"

"I-"

"I'm sorry, Tori, if I'd known what would happen I would never have backed out. Now, you can be as mad as you like with me when this is over, but we need to get moving. Because if we don't get there before Jade does, then someone's going to die." She grabbed her coat. "Go get in the car. I'll drive."

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"You..." It dawned on Deborah what Jade meant. "Oh, God."

"That's right," Jade said, happily. "I paid them a little visit. A surprise guest. And now they're all gone. All of them. So it's just me and you. You're the only one left." She took another step towards the other girl. "And I don't want you to feel left out."

Deborah's panic was absolute now. She tried to put as much distance between her and the other girl as possible, but Jade moved to close her down, slowly backing her into the corner of the room. "Jade, please! It was a mistake!"

"Yeah, it was."

"Look, I have money, okay?" Deborah said, desperately. "Just let me-"

"Oh, Deborah," Jade sighed. "Deborah, Deborah, Deborah," she said, shaking her head. "Money can't buy you happiness, you should know that. It can't buy memories. They're the most precious thing you have."

"But..."

"And now I'm going to share some of mine with _you_."

Deborah was backed up against the wall now, with nowhere to go. "I don't... I don't understand," she stammered.

"Oh, you will, Deborah," Jade said. "You will. Because we're going to take a little trip down memory lane, you and I. We're going to go to a _very_ special place."

"No!"

"Oh, _yes._ " She drew the scissors out of her bag, and grinned. _"_ Welcome to Hell, Deborah," she said. "Welcome to Echo Lake."

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	59. Chapter 59 - A Game of Thrones Part 2

**Well, let's keep going. There'll be three parts to 'Game of Thrones', this is the middle one. So, let's have a look at what makes Marla tick. I should point out that I'm not endorsing Jade's views here, they are (unsurprisingly) a little... jaded.**

 **All reviews gratefully received. Thanks to Max Tomos for suggestions.**

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"You're not even going to ask, are you?" Holly said.

"Ask what?"

"About Jade. You're not even going to ask how she is, if she's all right."

"Well, I assume from the fact that you're here to make idle chat that she's not dead," Marla said, sweetly, "otherwise you'd be a little busy with the funeral arrangements."

Holly struggled to keep her voice calm, to resist the urge to rip Marla's head off. "Why, Marla?" she said. "Why do you hate her so much?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"This isn't about her being a threat to you, is it?" Holly said. "This isn't about protecting the Club. This is about her."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"It is, isn't it?" Holly pressed on. "There's something about her that burns you. What? What is it?"

Marla looked at her for a moment. "You want to know?" she said. "You really want to know?"

"Yes."

"I didn't come to your house that day selling Girl Scout cookies, Holly," Marla snapped. "I came looking for something. I'd heard about your mother, I knew what she was, so I came there and I begged her for it, got down on my knees right there in the kitchen, because I stupidly thought that was what I wanted. Because I was deluded enough to think it would be _fun_." She laughed, bitterly. "Well she opened my eyes, all right," she said. "She really opened my eyes."

"What's that got to do with Jade?"

"Look at her! My daughter's an idiot, she can barely hold two thoughts in her head. But Jade, she's like me, she's got the fire, the passion, she could be somebody. But instead she lets herself be trailed in here like a fucking dog on a leash by your half-wit of a daughter. It disgusts me, Holly to watch her waste herself, to watch her fall for the same thing that I did, to let herself be dragged into the gutter by her own libido. If I punish her, if I'm _hard_ on her, it's only to make her see sense, to make her open her eyes the same way I did."

"For God's sake, Marla," Holly said. "I know you suffered, but it isn't all like that. It's supposed to be a game. I don't understand how you could even _want_ to run a club like this if you hate the subs so much."

Marla turned to her, a trace of amusement in her eyes. "You really don't understand, do you?" she said. "I don't hate the subs, Holly. I hate them _all_."

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"Can't you go any faster?"

"Well, yeah, I could Tori, and if you really want to sit at the side of the road watching a cop write us a ticket instead of saving your girlfriend, then just say the word."

"There's no need to be snappy. Anyway, it's not _her_ we're saving."

"Isn't it? Because if we don't get there in time, you won't have a girlfriend this time tomorrow."

"What do you mean?"

"This isn't a _game_ , Tori. If Jade does something stupid, it's not just going to go away. I know you're all caught up in your little fantasy world, but in the real world, things have consequences. Now, I don't like Jade. She's ganky, foul-tempered, mean, and I wish to God you'd never met her. But I know that, for some bizarre reason, you want her, so if you want things to carry on the way they were, then you'd better pray we get there before blood gets spilt. She's been through something I can't even imagine, and right now, she's out of your control. You need to get it back."

"I never _had_ control."

"What?"

"I never had control," Tori said, miserably. "It was all a lie. She tricked me into thinking she was a sub."

Trina took her eyes off the road long enough to stare at Tori in disbelief. "Not that kind of control, you moron," she said. " _Real_ control. The only control that matters. The kind you have over each other."

"I don't understand."

"Love, Tori. Jeez, you guys are fucked up. _Love._ She loves you Tori, and that's the only thing you've got right now."

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"Does that surprise you, Holly?" Marla said. "I don't see why it should. Where in this little 'game' should I fit? Why should I feel affinity with one side or the other? I don't like the subs, Holly. They make my flesh crawl, the way they shuffle around like animals, giving away the gift of humanity for the sake of a cheap thrill. But that is nothing, _nothing_ , compared to how I feel about the dommes."

"Marla..."

"Look at them, Holly. _Look_ at them. Preening and prancing around the place like they're God's gift to womankind, giving themselves airs and graces as though they're masters of the fucking universe, talking about how much respect they deserve while they're slobbering like pigs in shit watching some poor little bitch getting her ass reamed in the Red Room, and ordering the 'finest champagne' by the glass while I'm shipping it in at five bucks a bottle because they can't tell the fucking difference. What is it, Holly, what is it that makes grown women act like that? Do they never look in the mirror? It's a good thing their subs are half-asleep, otherwise they'd realize what an odious bunch of brats they really are. They're so fucking full of themselves, they think they're special, but they're not. You know why?

"Because they're all dancing to _my_ tune now, they're all doing what _I_ want. They think they've got control, but they have nothing, because I have them all in the palm of my hand. And not just them. Anyone they can influence, _I_ can influence, and I don't even need to pressure them. That's the beauty of it. I could do it, just a rumor would be enough to ruin some of them, but it doesn't matter, because the best slaves are the ones who think they're free. They're little people in many ways, Holly, for all their power and status. Bullies and inadequates. They're so fucking desperate to belong to something exclusive that they'll crawl over broken glass to be a member, lick my boots to be a judge, kiss my ass for a key to the private suite. So I take their money, and I give them my cheap champagne, and I let it be known what kind of favor I expect for a seat on the panel, and then I sit back and laugh, because they're all just toys to me. Don't you see, Holly? I've made puppets of the people like your mother, the people who thought they could hold me down. I sometimes wonder if Jade wasn't mocking you after all when she wrote the skit, because whether she knew it or not, she was Winston all along, in a Club full of O'Briens. Revelling in petty power, when they're just a cog in the machine. Ignorance is strength, freedom is slavery, isn't that how it goes? Imagine a boot stamping on a human face forever, Holly. _My_ boot. Totus Tuus gave them control they could never hope to achieve on their own, and that control is just as addictive as the drug itself." She smiled. "Totus Tuus. It's a nice sentiment, Holly. What does it mean? _Totally thine_." She shrugged. "Well, they're all totally _mine_ , now."

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"You know," Jade said, "I thought about actually going up to the Lake, take a little trip, give you the whole 'immersive' experience. But it'd take time, and it's a lot of gas, and I'd have to buy a shovel, and frankly, who needs the hassle? So I thought, _Hey, kids! Let's do the show right here!_ It's warm, and it's kinda cosy, and we've got everything we need." She smiled. "All the comforts of home." She turned to her companion. "Are you okay, there?"

There was no answer but a faint moan. It had taken almost nothing to overpower Deborah, to drag her whimpering into her own dungeon, fear sapping what little strength she'd had. But Jade had been rough with her anyway, and the bruising was beginning to show under the clamps that now held her bound to the large wooden throne, hand and foot, head held back by a leather strap around her neck. The tape over her mouth sucked in and out as she struggled to breathe.

"I hope that's not too tight," Jade said. "But then you know what they say, _if it ain't tight, it ain't right_." She frowned. "Do they say that? It sounds like the kind of thing you guys would say. Anyway, you'll get used to it. The human body's an amazing thing. Once the cramps pass, you can stay in position for days. You'll be fine. Now, where were we? Oh, yes.

"You see, the place itself isn't really important. They could pave over the whole of Echo Lake and turn it into an amusement park, and it wouldn't make any difference. Because Echo Lake isn't there anymore. It's up here." She tapped her forehead. "Echo Lake is a state of mind, Deborah. Speaking of which, what state is yours in, I wonder?"

She picked up the scissors. "We've never really spoken much, have we? I've no idea how intelligent you really are. I'm assuming you must have some grasp of the basics." She began to hack at the front of Deborah's dress, ripping through the material, drawing blood from the skin underneath. "I like to think you've got enough imagination to work out what's going to happen to you," she cut through the bra strap with a savage tug, "otherwise I'm wasting my time. Half the fun is in the anticipation. Don't worry," she added, "these aren't my best scissors. I wouldn't want to spoil them. There." With a final yank she ripped Deborah's dress aside, leaving her bare to the waist, her chest rising and falling, her heart pounding visibly. Jade prodded her painfully with the tip of the scissor. "Wow," she said. "You must have had a lot of padding in there. Maybe I've got this domination complex thing all wrong. Maybe it's not about abusing your little sister, maybe it's all about cup size. Maybe all this..." She waved the scissors around the dungeon. "Is just your way of compensating."

She leaned back in consideration. "You know, that would explain a lot about you guys. An awful lot," she said. "That's it, isn't it? That's why the sub is always the hot one, and the domme's the one with the face like a slapped ass. Subs are exhibitionists, they're happy to be dragged around half-naked and have everyone looking at them, because they've got the confidence to do it, they know they're worth looking at. Whereas you guys hide behind your corset and your bad make-up, because you know that without it, without the 'service' you offer, no one would give you a second glance in the street. I wonder if deep down you're jealous of them, and that's why you try to dominate, to prove something. Or maybe you're just insecure. Maybe that's it, maybe people choose domination because they're afraid. Afraid of being seen. You hold one end of the leash so that all the action happens at the other end, at arm's length, where you can control it. You're terrified of your own vulnerability, of opening up, of looking ridiculous, so you choose a relationship where that can't happen, where the whole point is that your partner has to at least _pretend_ to respect you, because when they're on their knees they can't see the fear in your eyes, can't see the lonely girl shunned in the playground, the weird little boy that no one wants to play with because there's something in his eyes they don't quite trust. Domination is a coping mechanism, a defence against the real world. Tori was afraid of me, that's why she wanted so many rules, because they meant safety for her. Caroline was afraid of the past, so she wanted to prove to herself that it could never happen again. Holly's afraid of chaos - her marriage is a train wreck, her family's a disaster, even the Club's fucked up. They're all scared, out of their depth, taking solace in the only control anyone is ever willing to give them." She looked around. "This."

She turned back to the girl on the throne. "And you, Deborah," she said, "what are you afraid of? I'll tell you. _Me_." She leaned close. "You've always been afraid of me, haven't you?" she murmured, her voice seeping into Deborah's ear like poisoned honey. "I'm the long shadow that follows you, the guilty whisper in the night, the thing that was done that can never be undone. I am the sin for which you must atone. I'm the gathering storm, the rumble of thunder, the sound of distant drums in the forest before daybreak. I am your Nemesis, and I came for you, as you always knew I would," she said. "You can't outrun the past, Deborah. All roads lead to Echo Lake."

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Trina leaned on the horn as hard as she could, but its noise was lost in the blare of a hundred others. Ahead of them was a long line of traffic, flashing blue lights in the distance telling them it wasn't going anywhere.

"We're screwed."

"I'm sorry, Tori," she snapped. "I can't help the traffic. If some asshole's flipped his car then there's nothing I can do."

"Isn't there another way?"

Trina thought for a moment. "Maybe, but it's tricky."

"Trickier than this?" Tori pointed towards the jam ahead.

Trina slammed the car into reverse, clipping the vehicle behind and earning herself an angry shout, before wrenching the wheel and pulling a U-turn to head back the way they came.

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Something on a table near the door caught her eye. "You're a smoker," Jade said. "Is that for real, or just for show?" She walked across and retrieved a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. "Do you use your sub as an ashtray?" she said. "I hear that's a thing. You know, sometimes I wonder about the world, Deborah. How we get to where we are. Where does it start? One day, you're drifting through life without a care, the next someone slaps you on the ass and before you know it you're kneeling in a bathtub with a mouth full of piss watching the last dregs of your self-respect trickle down the plug hole. I find it kind of depressing, myself. But each to their own." She flicked the lighter into life and held it close to Deborah's face, watching the flame reflected in the tears in her eyes. She moved it closer, and closer, until she smelt the faint aroma of burning hair, and a muffled gurgle of fear. She moved it back and used it to light the cigarette in her mouth.

"You don't mind, do you?" she said. "I wouldn't usually, I'm sure Tori would give a lecture, but I'm feeling kind of edgy and I hear it calms the nerves." She took a long appreciative drag, and blew a smoke ring towards the ceiling. "Cool." She took another and blew it into Deborah's face, and grinned as she struggled to breathe through the gag.

"Do you know why I hate you, Deborah?" she began, conversationally. "It's not because of what you did. No. That was pretty bad, but people have suffered worse. It's because of what you turned me into. Tori, she's a funny little thing. She thinks that deep down inside I'm a good person, that behind this grumpy old façade, there a heart of gold," she said. "But she's wrong. Because behind this façade there's nothing, nothing but a filthy, stinking ball of hate. You made me like this, you took away any chance of me having the things other girls have. The things _Tori_ had. I'll never be the popular one, I'll never go on first dates and blush when I kiss, I'll never be sweet sixteen again, and have a party with ponies and ribbons. I'll never have any of that, because you _ruined_ me. You took away my innocence, took away my childhood. You took away my ability to love anyone, to see the world as anything other than a cold and dismal place, full of fear and pain. And I can never forgive you for that."

She took another drag on the cigarette. "Let me tell you something about pain, Deborah," she said. "You see, I know quite a lot about it. I'm something of an expert, you might say. And here's the thing. Nobody _causes_ you pain. They can injure you, they can harm you, they can break your bones or slice your fingers off with a pair of scissors..." She gave Deborah a moment to let that sink in. "But the pain, that comes from inside. You create it. It's yours," she said. "And because it's yours, because you own it, you can do what you want with it. You can fear it, shy away from it, let it defeat you. You can try to ignore it, take yourself to the happy place, pretend it's happening to someone else. Or you can _embrace_ it, take it deep inside yourself, and use its fire to drive you to do things you never _dreamed_ you could do." She blew on the end of the cigarette until its tip glowed brightly. "That's what I did with mine, Deborah," she said. "So the question is..." She plunged the burning end deep into the flesh of Deborah's breast. "What are _you_ going to do with _yours?"_

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"You can't be serious! The car won't even fit down there!"

"It's the only way through. If you go fast enough, anything's possible."

"That's... that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"Really? And where the heck have _you_ been for the past six months?"

"That's not fair."

"I love you, Tori, you're like a sister to me."

"I _am_ your sister."

"But only you could make such an epic fuck-up of something that should be so simple."

"This isn't my fault!"

"Isn't it? If you and mom had ever had an ounce of sense between you, none of this would have happened. You know, sometimes I think I'm adopted. No, scratch that. Sometimes I _hope_ I'm adopted. Now buckle up, ducky, we're going in."

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"Oh, don't be such a pussy," Jade snapped, as Deborah bucked and thrashed in her restraints. "We're only just getting started. Two weeks. Two weeks you spent making my life hell, and I'm going to make you feel every minute of it, every splintering, agonizing second. But don't worry," she said, spreading the other woman's fingers, taping them to the arm of the chair, "you won't have to go through what I went through. You won't spend the next six months terrified to go to sleep, because you know what dreams are waiting for you. You won't have to wake up screaming, ramming your pillow in your mouth so that you don't wake your parents. You'll never try to drown yourself just to stop the nightmares. You won't have to do any of that. Do you know why?"

Deborah's eyes were wide with fear, tears and mucus streaming down her face. Finally she shook her head.

Jade leaned close, until their noses were almost touching. "Because when I've finished with you," she said, softly, "you're going to die."

There was muffled cry from behind the gag as she leaned back. "If it's any consolation," Jade said, "I'm not enjoying this as much as I thought I would. Maybe I _do_ have a heart after all." She paused, just long enough to see a glimmer of hope in Deborah's eyes. "But I'm going to do it anyway," she said. "Because it's what you deserve. And if I end up feeling bad, well, I guess that's just my cross to bear." She tilted her head. "You get it?" she said. "My cross to bear? Because of what happened at the Club? No? Ah, fuck it," she said. "Let's just get on with it." She picked up the scissors and yanked at Deborah's outstretched hand. "Okay, finger comes off in one, two..."

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	60. Chapter 60 - A Game of Thrones Part 3

**Hi, sorry this took a while. We really don't have long to go now, so hang on in there. In an act of shameless bribery, I promise you another couple of chapters of 'A Dangerous Friend' if you leave a review.**

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Jade heard the click of the door before she heard the voice.

"Jade."

She whirled. "Tori?" she snarled. "What are you doing here?"

"I can't let you do this."

"Get out!"

"No."

"Don't make me hurt you, Tori."

"If I thought you could do that, then I wouldn't care what happened to you."

"This is nothing to do with you!"

"Nothing to do with me?" Tori said, incredulously. "Of course it's to do with me! You're my girlfriend, for God's sake! I can't stand by and watch!"

"I didn't ask you to watch!"

"You know what I mean!"

"Do you have any idea," Jade said, furiously, "what she put me through? Do you?"

"Of course I do!"

"No you don't, Tori. Because I didn't tell you. I just gave you the edited highlights. I just gave you a little taster of it. Do you _really_ want me to go into detail? Do you?"

"Jade..."

"Because I can do that. I really can. That's what broke Trixie. Not you. _Me_. I fucked her up just by telling her. Do you want me to do that to you?"

"No!"

"Then leave!"

"I can't."

"Sure you can! It's easy! Just turn around and walk right out the door! I'm sure even Trina can manage that," she said, glaring at the elder Vega.

"Please, Jade, this isn't the way."

"I think it is."

"I can't let you do it."

"You can't stop me."

"Please don't make me do this."

"Do what?" Jade said. "What are you going to do? Call the cops?" Tori was silent. "No, I didn't think so. So if you don't want to see this, Tori, just get out of here and leave me to it." She turned back to the terrified girl in the chair and picked up the scissors again.

But Tori wasn't done. She reached into her pocket. "Look at me, Jade," she said.

"No!"

"Please."

"Go away!"

"Look at me!"

Jade turned in frustration, to see Tori stood with both arms held out in front of her, hands cupped together. Her face was dark, half in shadow, and it took a moment to register what she was doing, until Jade's gaze moved slowly down and came to rest on the tiny object resting in the palm of her hand.

The little brass compass. She stared at it in horror.

"You wouldn't!"

"I'm calling it in, Jade."

"No!"

"I'm sorry."

"You can't do that!"

"One thing, you said. Just one. But it can be anything."

"And you're using it for this?" Jade said, appalled. "You're using it to save _her_ life?"

"I'm not saving her life!" Tori said. "I'm saving yours! If you do this, Jade, you will _never_ recover," she said. "Ever. Even if you don't go to jail, you'll spend the rest of your life being eaten away by this because you'll always know, deep down inside, that when it came down to it, when it mattered, you were as bad as they were. You were _worse_ than they were."

"Worse? How can I be _worse?"_

"Because you _know_ , Jade!" Tori said. "You know what it's like! They were stupid kids, they didn't understand. But you do. You know what it's like to go through this, to be tortured this way, and if after all of that you can bring yourself to do it to another human being, then that makes you a _monster."_

The word hit Jade like a punch in the gut. "Tori..."

"And I don't think you _are_ a monster," Tori went on, her face wet with tears. "I don't think that's you. Please, Jade, I know that it hurts, I know that it burns to let her get away with it, but you have to stop. For your sake. For my sake."

"But-"

"What did you say, when you gave me this?" Tori said. "What did you tell me? _'What are we to the world but the sum of the promises we keep?_ ' Well, what _are_ you, Jade? What are you to the world? What are you to me? I love you Jade, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life visiting you in prison, or standing by the side of your grave because in the end you couldn't stand the guilt anymore. I can't live like your dad, endlessly watching, waiting, holding my breath every time you leave the house and waiting for the call from the hospital. I know you might hate me for this, but it's all I can do. It's all I have. So I'm calling it in. I don't care if you never speak to me again, but if I ever meant anything to you, you'll stand by this." She held up the compass, and its dented casing glinted in the light. "Go home, Jade," she said. "Please."

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"That's enough," Holly said. "It's over, Marla. You need to step down."

"Step down?" Marla laughed. "I'm only just getting started. Why would I step down?"

Holly paused for a moment, then pulled from her pocket a voice recorder, larger than Jade's, its small screen flickering into life at the movement. "Because when the membership hears this, you're finished."

Marla stared aghast at the recorder.

"What?"

"How do you think they're going to feel when they hear this little conversation?" Holly said. "Hmm? You don't think they deserve to know what you think of them?"

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Wouldn't I?"

"But it would mean the end of the Club!"

"Then so be it."

"But why?" Marla said, shocked. "Why would you do that? It would ruin us!"

"I don't care," Holly replied, bitterly. "I've had enough, Marla. Enough of treating people like this, of running them down, treating them like cattle. You're going down, and if I have to go down too then it'll be worth it."

"But..." For a moment it looked as though Marla would make a grab for the recorder, but Holly held her hand up in warning.

"Just try it, Marla," she hissed. "I've been running around after you for twenty years, and if you want to know what that does to a person, I can show you the hard way." Marla backed down, hate still burning in her eyes.

"It doesn't matter, anyway," Holly went on. "This is streaming live to my laptop at home. At eight-thirty tomorrow morning it'll land in the inbox of every member of the Club, executive and associate, if I don't stop it."

This wasn't true, mainly because Holly had absolutely no idea how to do all that, and she hadn't dared to let David in on the situation. But it was possible, and that's all Marla needed to know.

Marla glared at her sullenly. "Blackmail," she spat.

"If you like."

"So what do you want?"

"I want my club back."

"Your club?" Marla said. "This isn't your club. This is mine, and I'll do what I want with it. Go ahead, tell them all. They'll leave. So what? There'll always be others."

"You really don't understand, do you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know the kind of people we have here, Marla, you recruited them. They're gullible, but they're not stupid, they're all big fish in their own way. Some of them are influential. Some of them are powerful. Some of them are, frankly, criminal. But you know what they all have in common? Do you? They all demand respect. Hell, that's the whole point of coming here, so they can flatter their egos and flaunt their 'dominance'. Now, how do you think they're going to feel when they find out they've been played for fools, that you're laughing at them? Do you think they're just going to shrug their shoulders and leave? No. They're going to come after you, Marla, in any way they can. A few videos and photograph aren't going to save you from them, because you've hurt them where they feel it most. Their pride. They will ruin you, beggar you, see you in jail. Freeze your account, steal your money. Find you in the dark alleyway. Anything. They can protect each other, the way you used them to protect the Club. You built the shark tank, Marla, for your own amusement," she said. "Now you're going to find out when happens when you fall in."

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The seconds stretched out in the silence as the two girls faced each other, Jade's face twisted with rage, Tori's open, imploring. For a moment it seemed that the promise might be broken, until with a cry she threw the scissors to the ground, and with one last, baleful look at Deborah, fled without a word, ignoring Tori's outstretched hand, and the compass held in it.

Tori walked towards Deborah, but made no move to untie her. Instead, she sat down next to her on the stool that Jade had occupied, and picked up the discarded scissors.

"I just saved your ass, Deborah," she said. "And do you know something? I hate myself. I just took something beautiful, I just took the most precious thing anyone ever gave to me, and I used it to save your miserable skin. It makes me sick. I know what you did to her in the woods, you and the rest of them, and as far as I'm concerned, the world would be a better place if you'd never been born. But I didn't save you because you deserve it. I did it for her. Because she deserves it. She deserves not to be tainted by you."

She held the scissors close to Deborah's tear-stained face. She glanced up at Trina, and saw the warning in her expression. _Don't_.

She turned back to Deborah. "So here's the deal," she said, brusquely. "I'm going to let you go. Eventually," she added. "But..." She leaned close to Deborah, close enough to smell the fear, and yanked her head back by the hair. "If you tell anyone about this," she hissed, "if you go to the cops, or the Club, or your mom, if I ever hear from you or see you again, then I'm going to take back what I just did, and I'm going to let her come after you. And it won't be just her. It'll be me, too. Because however much she hates you, I hate you twice as much. I know you don't think much of me, Deborah, but trust me, I have a lot of tricks up my sleeve. By the time the two of us have finished with you there'll be nothing left but a hank of hair and a few teeth rattling in a pool of piss. _Do you understand me_?"

There was a tight groan form behind the gag. Deborah's eyes turned imploringly to Trina, but Trina just chewed her gum disdainfully for a moment, and shrugged. "Don't look at me, sugar-tits," she said. "I'll be their alibi."

Abandoned by her last hope of sympathy, Deborah turned back to Tori, and nodded, miserably. "Good," Tori said. She took the scissors and hacked through the robe tying one of the unfortunate woman's wrists. She dropped the scissors on the floor, just out of reach. "I'll leave you to sort yourself out." She glanced down between Deborah's legs at the fear-induced puddle there, and sniffed. "And for God's sake clean yourself up. You stink." She nodded to Trina. "Let's go."

Trina pushed herself up from the wall. "Later, Debbie," she said, as she followed Tori towards the door, leaving Deborah thrashing in her restraints and desperately calculating how much effort and pain was going to be involved in tipping the throne over to reach the scissors.

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Marla's face went white, and it was clear that she knew it was true. Holly's face softened. "I'm not a cruel woman, Marla. Although some people might disagree. I know my family hurt you, and I've tried to make amends. But you've gone too far. Running this club isn't helping you, it's just feeding your obsession, turning you into the very thing you hated. You need help, Marla, Professional help. Not this."

Marla said nothing.

"So here's the deal," Holly said. "You can take some money and leave town, no questions asked. I'll make sure it's enough to see you straight. You put money into the Club, I won't steal it from you. Or if you want you can keep your investment, but hand over the Club to me. You'll still stay on the books as a member because those are the rules, but you take no part in running the Club, and it's probably best if you don't come here. If you like, you could be our new absentee president, how about that? It's about time 'E.B' retired." She shook her head. "Honestly, Marla. Elizabeth Bathory? That was a sick joke even for you. But whatever happens, whatever you decide, I'm taking over."

"And if I refuse?"

"Then the whole club goes down, and we both lose anyway. We're on borrowed time, Marla. Jade knows about _Totus Tuus_ , it's only Tori stopping her from going to the police. If you want to walk away from this with anything at all except jail time, then you think about what I'm saying. Keep your mouth shut, back off, and maybe, maybe, I can turn this around, ditch the drugs, clean up the mess, and we might come through. But fuck with me, Marla, and it's the end. Even you must see that. Only a fool clings to their throne when the palace is on fire."

She slipped the record back into her pocket. "You have until eight tomorrow morning. Let me know what you decide."

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By the time they were back in the car, Tori was shaking. "Oh, God," she said. "I can't believe I just did that."

"What?" Trina said. "You were great. Really convincing. Jade would have been proud of you."

"That woman was terrified!"

"Good."

"It's not good, Trina! It's awful!"

"Why?"

"Because for a minute there, just for a second, I really, really wanted to hurt her. Not because she deserved it, but because I wanted to. Jesus, Trina, what am I? Maybe Jade was right, maybe I am just a sadist."

Trina was quiet for a minute. "What was all that about the compass?"

Tori told her.

"Wow," Trina said, impressed. "That's quite a promise."

"Yeah, and now I've ruined it," Tori said, miserably. "She's going to hate me forever."

Trina sighed. "Sometimes, Tori, you're an idiot."

"What do you mean?"

"Why do you think she gave you the compass?"

"I don't know. To give me back some control."

"Yes, but not for your benefit. For _hers_."

"Hers?"

"Jade would do anything for you, Tori, because she loves you. And the harder it was, the more she'd try, because that's what she's like. She's obsessive. Crazy about it. You don't need the compass to make her do something. That's not what it's for. The point of the compass is to _stop_ her doing something."

"But..."

"She knows, Tori. She's always known that one day she'll go too far, do something stupid. She gave you this for your own protection, your own peace of mind, so that you'd always be able to fight back, always be able to rein her in. She gave you a weapon she forged out of her own bloody-mindedness so she couldn't fight it, couldn't just override it and trample you into the ground. She wanted you to have that control because otherwise she doesn't trust herself not to hurt you, or anyone else. She _needed_ you to have it. She still does."

"How do you know that?"

"Because she didn't take it. You used it and she didn't take it. If she was angry with you, if she hated you, you can be damned sure she wouldn't leave you with something like that. She'd have snatched it off you and smashed it into the ground. But she didn't.

"She didn't take it from you because she still wants you to have it." Trina shrugged. "And my guess is, she always will."

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Holly clicked down the stairs, satisfied that all would be well. Marla would see sense.

If she'd known what Marla could _really_ see, she might have moved a little quicker.

Dry paper, candles, and despair.

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Jade stepped into her room barely conscious of her surroundings, the wave of adrenaline that had led her to Deborah's apartment ebbing away, the bitterness of its aftertaste filling her mouth. She took a swig from the bottle she'd found open on the counter downstairs to counteract it. Tori was right, and she was wrong. She was always wrong. Everything she did ended in disaster - even her revenge was thwarted, screwed up, twisted into _her_ mistake, _her_ sin. The world turned, and all she could hear was laughter. _You couldn't even do that right._

In the half-light, she spied a box on the bottom shelf, hidden behind a pile of magazines. She hadn't seen it for years, had barely even opened it in all this time. She knelt, and pulled it out, blowing the dust away. It was almost fitting that she should use it now.

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Twenty minutes later she lay naked on the bed, feeling strangely light-headed, almost euphoric.

She folded her arms across her chest and closed her eyes, as the red stain began to spread across the sheets.


	61. Chapter 61 - Babylon's Burning

**Hi, and welcome back to another day in the life of the weirdest family in L.A. We're getting close to the end now, so I'm just going to press on and finish it (hopefully).**

 **Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I appreciate it.**

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"Jade?" Tori pushed open the bedroom door, gently. There had been no sign of Jade's parents, but she had a spare key, a small token of trust that she felt guilty using because she wasn't sure Jade had actually told them about it. "Jade?"

The door swung open into darkness, but there was the sense of a presence, the unmistakeable feeling that someone was in the room. She took a step, and found her foot slipped. The floor was wet. She reached down to touch it, tentatively, and brought her hand up to inspect it in the faint light filtering through from the landing.

Something dark.

She felt her chest contract in panic. "Jade?"

There was something on the bed, a figure. Not curled up under the covers, but oddly stiff, like an Egyptian mummy. She grabbed for the light switch.

Red. There was red everywhere. She clasped her hands to her face as she took in the sight of Jade's body laid on the bed, deep red stains across the covers, across the floor, across her skin, and all she could think was _\- she's cut herself. She's cut herself the same way I did, the night I thought she'd betrayed me._

Except... there was something different about it. As her eyes grew accustomed to the light she began to see other things. Shapes. Patterns. The red marks on the body weren't smeared, or splashed - they were regular, coherent.

And then she realized what the nagging smell was coming from the hand over her face. Paint.

Jade had painted herself.

She looked closer in wonder, seeing intricate filigree patterns tracing the contours of her body, bolder here, more delicate there, down her arms and legs, across her stomach, her breasts, across her shoulders, up to her neck and the silver collar. And her face...

Her face bore a deep red smudge across the lips, a daub on each cheek - a child's make-up. A doll's face.

"Hello, Tori." She jumped at the sound, and realized Jade was awake. "Jade?"

"Do you like what you see?" Jade's voice was a low murmur.

"What?"

"Do you like what you _see_ , Tori?"

"Jade…"

"What am I, Tori? What am I to the world?" Jade said, distantly, and Tori realized that she was quite drunk, that some of the stain on the sheets was red wine. "Only this. A Painted Jezebel. The Whore of Babylon. I've _tried_ , Tori. I've tried so hard. But this is all I really am to the world. A toy. A plaything. I think I'm in control, but all I ever do is dance for them, twist and turn on my chains for their amusement, reaching for something that they know I can't touch, straining at my bonds while they laugh at me. I froth, and I rage, and I stamp my little feet and I toss my pretty head, but it's just a storm in a teacup, it's all for nothing, because I'll never win. And the harder I try, the more it hurts."

She slid from the bed to her feet, and began to approach Tori, naked, eyes hooded, hips swaying. Tori saw that her hair was drawn up into pigtails, giving her a childlike appearance entirely at odds with the seductive tone of her voice, and the silver slave collar around her neck.

"So I'm giving up," Jade said, with a shrug. "Take me, Tori. Make me your dog, or your pet, or whatever you want. I don't want to _think_ anymore. I don't want to be free. Just put me back on the leash and I'll give it all up, give it all to you. All I ask is that you keep me safe, protect me from them. Protect me from myself. I'm not fit to be free, Tori. I don't deserve it."

Tori jaw worked wordlessly for a moment. She should be angry. She should be furious. Instead she felt dizzy.

"No," she said, backing away.

Jade paused. "You don't want me now?" she said, in an injured tone, the pout on her lips belied by the dangerous glint in her eye.

"No," Tori repeated.

The fire in Jade's eyes faded a little, and for the first time she seemed genuinely lost. "Oh."

"Not like this," Tori said. She reached out, and with a yank that drew a surprised hiss of pain from the other girl, yanked off the collar, its sliver links scattering across the floor. "Not anymore."

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Jade stood, stunned for a moment, then with a snarl quickly closed the gap, grabbing Tori's shirt and ripping it open to the waist, moving in to push it from her shoulders before Tori could protest, her teeth sinking deep into the other girl's neck. But Tori didn't care, her hands were already scrabbling at the button of her jeans, dropping them to her ankles, kicking them off as Jade practically dragged her to the bed, pushing her face down on to it, her own body splayed out on top to pin her there. Her teeth nipped at Tori's ear, hot breath forming a question that was barely a grunt, her knees pushing Tori's apart in anticipation of the answer.

The answer, when it came, was _yes_.

Her hand thrust downwards, coming up between Tori's thighs, roughly but expertly, drawing a gasp from Tori as she began to work her fingers deep inside, spreading her legs further with her own, letting Tori move just enough to show her complicity, to let her push back against her hand. She leaned herself up, away from the bed, and drove harder, her other hand firmly on the back of Tori's neck, keeping her face down into the bed, hearing the whimpering into the pillow, seeing the hands writhing, grasping at the sheets, listening to the song that Tori's body was singing. _Faster, deeper. More._ There was no tenderness, no gentleness - it was sex, pure and raw, to burn away the memory of the night, to consign it to oblivion, to reassert their control. There'd be time enough for love later. Right now, both Jade and Tori were focused on one thing, and one thing only.

And when it happened, it could be heard three blocks away.

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Jade was worried that she'd gone too far when she'd finally rolled off Tori, sweaty and panting, that in her need to lose herself in Tori's pleasure she'd overstepped the mark. But then, after a few seconds, Tori had prized herself away from the bed with a giggle, pushing her damp hair back from her face, and rolled over, tucking herself under Jade's unresisting arm, and now they lay, half-conscious, on the verge of sleep. The events at Deborah's apartment would have to be dealt with one way or another, Jade knew, as well as the deeper secret that lay beneath, but for now they were together again. _Burning through the candle to bring on the darkness_.

Tori's phone rang. "Leave it," Jade mumbled, but Tori had a terrible inability to leave a door or a phone unanswered. She crawled off the bed to find her clothes and pulled the phone from the pocket of her jeans, while Jade rolled over, still stuck to the sheets with paint and sweat.

"Oh, God."

Jade blinked into life. "What? What is it?"

Tori was still staring at the screen. "It was Alison," she said. "The Club's on fire."

Jade struggled to come up with an adequate response to this. "Good?" she managed.

"No!" Tori said. "It's not good! My mom went to find Marla tonight, to have it out with her."

"So?"

"So what if she went to the Club to find her, and they had a fight, and... Oh, God! What if she's still in there?"

"Fuck." The panic in Tori's voice spurred Jade into action. "Get dressed," she said, rolling off the bed and grabbing at her own clothes. "I'll take you."

Tori was frozen in indecision. "Can you drive?" she said. Jade looked at her, uncertain of what she meant, until she followed her gaze to the wine bottle in the corner. She held up a hand, and it twitched unsteadily. "Crap," she said. "You'll have to do it."

"Me?" Tori said. "I don't have a licence."

"But you've had a lesson?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"There you go. It's be fine. Think of it as a crash course. Without the crash part, hopefully. Come on."

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They barrelled out of the house to the car, Tori heading for the passenger side before being swung by the arm towards the driver's door. Jade dragged on her belt, and leaned across to start the car. "Okay," she said, "that pedal means 'go', that one means 'stop', and the big round thing in front of you makes you go left or right. Got it? And please don't kill anyone."

"I'm not an idiot, Jade," Tori snapped. "I have done this before."

"Sorry."

There was a pause. "Which one was 'go', again?"

"That one."

"Right."

"But take it easy on the gas, okay? It can be pretty... Jesus Christ!" Tori put her foot to the floor and the car shot out of the driveway, narrowly avoiding a truck. "What the fuck?" she yelled. "I thought I said take it easy!"

"It's an emergency," Tori said, gripping the wheel grimly, as she swerved across two lanes of traffic to jump the lights at the intersection.

"Yeah, and not one that you can do anything about," Jade said. "Unless you've got a fire hose and fifty thousand gallons of water in the trunk. You're not going to help anyone if you get us both killed. Just calm down."

Tori grudgingly accepted the logic of this, and slowed down. Jade hunkered down in the seat with her arms folded and tried not to think about how much trouble she'd be in if they got pulled over.

It took twenty minutes to get across town. They made for the main entrance but it soon became obvious that they weren't going to get anywhere near it. A throng of fire trucks and police cars surrounded the building, jets of water aimed at the broken second floor windows, while clouds of acrid smoke billowed out in defiance.

"Here," Jade said. "Pull in here."

"I can get closer."

"Yeah. And if you really want us to just roll up in front of the donut patrol when you've got no licence and I'm drunk, then go for it. "

Tori gave a grunt of frustration, but swung the car around to where Jade had pointed, taking out a dozen trash cans in the process. "Better?"

Jade winced at the sound of a headlamp shattering. "Come on."

They ran across the street towards the Club, but were quickly intercepted. "I'm sorry, Miss," the officer said. "You can't go any closer."

"But my mom's in there!"

"Your mom?"

"Holly Vega," Tori said. "She's... she kind of runs the place."

"What place?"

"This place."

"And what exactly _is_ this place?"

Tori began to see where this was heading. "It's...er..."

"A nightclub," Jade supplied.

"Right." The officer turned his attention to her. "And who are you?"

"I'm a friend of the girl whose mother might be burning to death right now, while you're asking all these questions."

The officer's eyes narrowed. "What happened to your face?"

Jade realized she was still covered in paint. She wiped at her face. "We were decorating."

"In the middle of the night?"

"Couldn't sleep. Look, are you going to tell us what's going on, or not?"

The police officer looked at them skeptically. "Wait here," he said, and turned abruptly, weaving his way through the emergency vehicles and disappearing from sight.

"Idiot." She turned to Tori. "Listen, maybe we should-"

"This is all my fault." It was barely a whisper.

Tori..."

"It is! If it hadn't been for me, none of this would have happened," Tori said, miserably. "If I hadn't-"

"Hadn't what, Tori?" Jade said. "Hadn't been born? None of this is your fault. _None_ of it. If anyone's to blame it's..." She was about to say _me_ , but thought better of it, because the last thing she needed was to remind Tori of that fact. "Marla."

"But-"

"And anyway," she went on. "We don't even know your mom came here. For all we know she stopped off at a bar and she's at home right now, wondering where the fuck _we_ are."

"Then why isn't she answering her phone?" Tori demanded.

"I don't know, maybe it's broken."

"Right, that it," Tori said. "I'm going in there."

"Wait, what?" But before Jade knew it, the other girl had ducked under the police barrier and was heading for the building. "Shit. Tori! Hey! Wait up!" She lifted the tape herself and headed off in pursuit.

They couldn't make it, surely. Even as they passed the cars, Jade could see the fire crew milling around, someone was bound to stop them. But Tori didn't care, she just kept running. And if _she_ was going to keep running, then so was Jade.

The irony of the situation wasn't lost on her. Six months ago, she'd have given her right arm to be told Holly Vega was trapped in a burning building. And yet, here she was, about to risk everything to save her.

They were at the door. The thick, wooden door that Jade had dreaded going through, that had been a gateway to so much misery. It was almost a relief to know that on the other side there was nothing but a raging inferno.

But of course, this time there was no one there to open it for them. There was no haughty little dump-truck in a corset to obligingly let them in, now there was just an implacable slab of wood.

But Tori wasn't to be so easily confounded, and before Jade knew it she'd set off again, sprinting around the corner of the building. Jade followed in confusion, her shouts to Tori to stop abandoned in order to keep enough breath to follow her. By the time Tori stopped, they were in the rear parking lot.

"Jesus, Tori," Jade panted. "What are you doing?"

"We can get in here."

Jade stared at the steel door. "What? How?"

"There." Tori pointed. Jade looked up to see the small window they'd used to break into the Club the first time.

"You have got to be kidding."

No one had gotten around to reattaching the metal grille that they'd prized off with the grappling hook, but the rotten wooden frame had been replaced with something that looked a lot more substantial. "I don't think it's going to open, Tori," she said, doubtfully. But Tori was already picking up a length of rebar and preparing to take a swing. Jade barely had time to duck before broken glass exploded over them.

"It's open," Tori said, with satisfaction. "Help me up."

"No."

"I... what?"

"Tori, this is insane. We're about to climb over broken glass _into_ a burning building. That's all kinds of dumb."

"My mom's in there!"

"We don't know that."

"But she _might_ be!"

"Then we should wait for the fire crew."

"And what are they going to do? They can't get in!"

"They can if we show them this."

"Right. And how many firefighters do you know that would fit through that window? I barely got my ass through it last time."

"But-"

"What would you do? If it was your mom, or your dad? Or me?" Tori said. "She's my _mom_ , Jade. And I know we've argued, and I know we've fought, and I know I don't like her very much right now, but she's still my mom, and I... love her. And I'm not going to leave her in there."

"Tori..."

"Look, Jade, I can't ask you to do this. I know you don't owe her anything, she's been pretty cruel to you, and if I were you I wouldn't want to. All I'm asking is that you help me get in."

"Fine," Jade said, flatly. "If that's what you want." She cupped her hands. "Give me your foot."

"Oh." Tori gave a sigh of resignation. "Thanks." She lifted her leg, and Jade gave her a bunk up to the window. She unlatched it through the broken glass and swung it open to climb through.

"I'm in."

"Right. Give me your hand."

"What?"

"Your hand, Tori. I can't climb this damned wall on my own."

"You're coming?"

"Of course I'm coming," Jade said, irritably. "You don't seriously think I'm going to let you run around in there on your own, do you? But I tell you this, Vega. If your mom ever gives me _that_ _look_ again, I'm going to set fire to her myself. Now give me your hand."

Tori stretched down, and Jade scrambled up the wall, tumbling through the window and dragging them both into a heap on the floor. They stood up and looked around. The washroom was dark, lit only by the streetlights outside. "Come on."

They went out into the corridor. The door closed behind them, and for a moment there was no light at all.

"Jade?"

"Right here." Jade reached into her pocket. "Do you have a light on your phone?" A shaft of light hit the floor.

"I don't know. I think so." Tori fumbled with her own phone, and a small pool of light joined Jade's. They made their way down the corridor, and reached the door at the end. Tori put out her hand to feel it. "It's not hot," she whispered. "That's good, right?" Jade nodded.

They pushed open the doors into the main hall, and stepped into an eerie quiet. There was no sign of the fire, but the air was hot, and somewhere in the distance they could hear the low groan of timber shifting, succumbing to the heat. "Where is she?"

"I don't know." Tori stared at the tiny patches of light illuminated by their phones, swallowed up by the darkness of the hall. "How are we going to find her like this?"

As if on cue, Jade's phone died, and the two patches became one. She heard a small cry of frustration from the girl beside her. "Look," she said, "if they were going to meet in here, it would be at the bar, or the office, maybe we should…" She was interrupted by a whooshing sound. "What the-"

And then there was light.

Before them the main hall stretched out, lifted from the gloom by a harsh yellow glow swelling up from somewhere overhead. They felt the warmth on the backs of their necks like the heat of the rising sun, and looked up.

The balcony was on fire.

Flames were spreading from the door at one end along the cloister, running across the drapes, licking around the wooden balustrade, eating up the carpet. "Shit," Jade said. The fire was upstairs, but it wasn't going to stay there.

But Tori wasn't listening, because the fire had revealed something else. A figure, lying prone in the middle of the dance floor. "Mom!"

She ran across the hall, to where her mom lay unconscious, frantically tugging at her, turning her over, looking for signs of life. Jade followed, one eye on the balcony. Above them, smoke was beginning to fill the room, gathering across the ceiling, ominous storm clouds waiting to break.

"Mom?"

Jade arrived beside her, and assessed the situation. "You should slap her."

"Why?"

"No reason."

"Shut up, Jade. Mom? Wake up, please, it's me."

There was a low moan, and Holly's eyes opened, slowly, blinking. "Tori?"

"Yes!"

"What the... What are you doing here?"

"We thought you were in trouble."

Holly put her hand up to the back of her head. "Someone hit me. Marla I think."

"She hit you?"

"I thought she'd understood, accepted what I was saying. But she couldn't let it go without one last shot." She laughed, ruefully. "But it'll take more than that. Tomorrow she's finished."

"Yeah," Tori said, fidgeting. "That's great, mom. Only the thing is, that's not really the issue right now."

"What do you mean?"

"Well..."

"The Club's on fire," Jade said, bluntly. "And we're in it."

"The what?" Holly looked around, and took in her surroundings for the first time. "Oh, my God."

"Yeah," Jade said, through gritted teeth. "That. So if we could save the victory speeches until we get out..."

They were about to pull Holly to her feet when they heard it. It cut though the hiss of the flame, the creak of the walls, the pounding thud in their chests as the oxygen grew thin. Because it was the very last sound they expected to hear. _Laughter_.

The looked up towards the sound to see a figure on the balcony, barely visible, silhouetted against the flames.

"I'm sorry, Holly."

"Marla!"

"This wasn't the way I wanted it to go," she said, voice ringing through the hall. "This wasn't the way I thought it would end. But maybe you were right. Maybe it does have to stop," she said, voice rising against the crackle of the fire. "We're toxic, you and I. Dangerous. We bring nothing but pain, because we were born of it. Your mother made me, Holly. She made me what I am. As she made you. And now, in the end, we unmake each other."

"Please…"

"Goodbye, Holly." Her voice was hardly audible, now, as the flames rose higher. "I'm sorry Tori has to be here," she shouted. "But maybe it's for the best. You know what they say. _Culpam maiorum posteri luunt._ The sins of the mother, Holly. You should know all about that."

"No!"

There was a loud wrenching sound, and a scream, as the balcony began to collapse, taking Marla with it. They skittered back, instinctively, watching in horror as the end of the hall caved in, the blast of heat taking their breath away. There was no way they could go back the way they came.

They sat, stunned for a moment. And then, the boiling cloud above let loose a single drop of rain. It fell, and landed on Jade's arm. She flinched. "Ow!"

"What is it?" Tori said. They looked up, and another fell, landing on her boot. Jade licked dry lips.

"The ceiling's melting," she said. "It's going through. We have to get out of here."

"The front door," Holly said. Jade and Tori stared at each other. Of course. They'd been trapped in here before, but they'd never had Holly with them. This was _her_ club, it stood to reason she'd know how to get out. The three of them scrambled to their feet, wrapping their shirts across their faces to keep out the smoke that was now relentlessly lowering towards them, and ran across the hall to the lobby. Something occurred to Jade.

"What about the sprinkler system?" she said.

"What about it?"

"Why didn't it go off?"

Holly paused. "It can be disabled."

"Who by?"

"Me or Marla."

"Is that even legal?"

Holly gave a dry laugh. "You're seriously asking me that?"

"I guess not."

Inside the lobby it was cooler, the air cleaner, the fire someone else's problem. Jade squeezed Tori's hand, and they were almost laughing with relief as Holly began to punch in the code to unlock the heavy wooden door.

Nothing happened.

She tried it again. And again. Fingers fumbled. Again. And slowly it began to dawn on them that it wasn't going to work.

"She's locked us in," Holly whispered.

"What?"

"She's changed the codes. We can't get out."

"There must be another way."

"There isn't," Holly said. "The only other exits are back through the hall." She sat down heavily, back against the woodwork. Tori began to hammer frantically on the door, soon joined by Jade.

"Help! You out there! We're trapped! Let us out!"

Jade added her boot to the pounding, but the sound was only a murmur on the outside, lost in the gush of the fire hose and the wail of the sirens. After a few minutes, Tori gave up, and slumped to the ground next to her mom, face blank with disbelief at being thwarted three inches from freedom. After a few more kicks, Jade swore long and hard, and dropped down to the other side of Holly, muttering profanities. The three of them watched as the first traces of smoke began to curl underneath the door from the main hall, twisting and coiling, like snakes mesmerizing their pray. The vanguard of the fire. The heads of the Hydra that burned within.

Holly slipped one arm protectively around Tori, and the other, more hesitantly, around Jade, and the three of them huddled together, feet drawn up, waiting, as the serpent drew near.


	62. Chapter 62 - Ticket To Ride

**And on we go. I promise one day the girls will get a well-earned rest, and we'll have a whole chapter of them with their feet up, drinking cocoa and watching TV.**

 **The song is 'A Forest', by The Cure. The odds of Jade ever having heard it are pretty slim, but you never know.**

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The air was disappearing as the smoke thickened. Jade's shirt was wrapped across her mouth and nose, but she could still feel it penetrating her lungs, slowly choking her. I'm going to die. I'm going to die in the Diamond Club.

And she wondered for a moment if she'd always believed that, that from the day she'd heard the name she'd known that her life would end here, as Caroline's had done. Or if not then, at least from the moment she'd made the decision to accept Tori's demand, revelling in her own cleverness, her deception, her determination to pursue a quest that ultimately meant nothing. Chasing a ghost. _The girl was never there,_ she vaguely recalled the line of a song, _it's always the same. I'm running towards nothing. Again and again and again and again..._

 _And this is where it leaves you_ , she thought. _Sat in the place you hate the most, with the woman, who, if not top of your shit list, is pretty far up it, waiting to die_. And yet the arm around her wasn't unwelcome. Her own mother wasn't here. Her own mother would never hold her again. Her parents would finally come to the end of the long, living death that she'd put them through, finally be able to stand over the grave that in their minds had been dug two years ago. Finally say goodbye to the daughter they'd already lost. No, these weren't her mother's arms, but they were _a_ mother's arms, and that would have to do.

She pressed her face tightly into her knees to stop the tears, and tried to stop her mind from working, to let it slip into unconsciousness and accept her fate. But it wouldn't. Was suffocation worse than drowning? She'd always had a morbid fear of drowning. She wondered how the girls at the Lake had felt, thrashing around, gasping for breath, finally succumbing to the silence of the water. _I can see them, hair floating like tendrils. I can see them, open-mouthed but silent. Oh, Sally, what have you done?_

Oh, Jade. What have _you_ done?

She should tell Tori. She had to. She couldn't let Tori go to her death believing a lie, she had to make her confession _. I did it, Tori. I killed them. It was me. Me. Me._ She reached across Holly's lap to find the slim hand, felt it tremble, gripped it tightly. "Tori," she croaked, "I have to tell you-"

And suddenly there was an agonizing pain in the back of her head, as though she'd been shot. "What the fuck?"

She turned and looked at the wood behind her, to see protruding from it, about an eighth of an inch, a thing sliver of curved metal. She stared at it. That meant something, she was sure, but in her foggy state she couldn't quite work out what. Just at that moment, the sliver disappeared, and reappeared with a heavy thud, further out this time. The blade of an axe. A fire-axe.

 _Fuck_. She leapt to her feet, and started hammering on the door. "We're in here!" The thud of the axe grew more insistent, as it fell again and again, carving out a chunk around the internal bolt, splinters flying. But the lock stood fast, refusing to give way, and now the air was so thick she could barely see it. _Please don't let this be it_ , she though, eyes running, heat on the back of her neck. Not now we're so close. _Please don't let my dad see my body being pulled out of a bondage club on the news_.

Finally the lock gave way, and she heard "Stand back!" The three of them moved away from the door, blinded now by the smoke, and it fell inwards, propelled by the boot of a firefighter. They tumbled out, coughing and spitting, eyes streaming, into the cool air off the night. Behind them there was an almighty crash as the roof of the main hall came down, its old and raddled timbers crashing through the melting plastic of the false ceiling.

And now someone was shouting at them. "Was there anyone else in there?"

Jade stood dazed. "What?"

"Was there anyone else in there?" Their savior waved his axe in the direction of the door. Jade paused. She could still see Marla, surrounded by flames, her shrill voice fading as the balcony collapsed beneath her. There was no chance she could have made it, but she wasn't going to risk anyone's life to find out. "I don't think so," she said, glancing at Holly to see if she'd contradict her, but the other woman just shook her head.

"No," she said. "No one."

"Okay. Medic!"

The three of them were led away to safety, while the firefighters went back to the business of tackling the blaze from the outside, and they sat, subdued, in the back of an ambulance, while the paramedics fussed around them.

"How did you even know I was here?" Holly asked, eventually.

"You said you were going to see Marla," Tori said. "And when we heard about the fire..."

"What?" Holly turned to her. "You knew it was on fire when you went _in_?"

"Well, yes," Tori said, uncomfortably. "That's why we came."

"But you..." Holly was speechless for a moment. "That's the stupidest thing you've ever done, Tori Vega," she scolded.

"Sorry, mom."

"Honestly, I don't know what your father would say if he found out."

Jade was about to intervene with a few well-chosen words in Tori's defence, when she noticed the sheen of tears on Holly's eyes, and she began to suspect that her anger was only covering up for the emotional shock of finding out that her own daughter actually cared about her, and felt a small twinge of sympathy for the woman. Her suspicion was confirmed when she saw Holly reach out to give Tori's hand a squeeze, and Tori look up with a shy smile, as though she was the one who'd been granted a favour.

There was no time more family bonding, as a large woman appeared, took one look at Tori's wildly tousled hair, and decided she must have taken the brunt of the blast. "You first," she said, and took her away to be checked over. Holly and Jade sat in silence for a minute.

"I'm sorry about your club," Jade said, for lack of anything else to say. Holly looked at her.

"No, you're not," she said, flatly.

Jade was a little taken aback. She'd been lulled by the sight of Holly's softer side into forgetting she probably blamed her for everything. "Holly-"

"And neither am I." Holly smiled a little.

"What?"

"Marla was right," Holly said. "It _is_ toxic. Sick. It's a monument to everything that's wrong about our lifestyle. Every mistake you can make, every sin you can commit, every abuse, if it happened anywhere, it happened here. It _needs_ to burn."

"But won't you lose everything?"

Holly sighed. "I don't know. The building's insured. Maybe not against arson, but that depends what they find. We're in the lap of the gods, really. As for the rest of it, it's gone."

"You don't think they'll be able to salvage anything?" Jade said, looking over at the fire crew.

Holly shuddered. "God, I hope not," she said. "Can you image how embarrassing that would be? _'Here you go, Miss, we managed to save your dildo collection and a couple of butt-plugs. Where d'ya want 'em?_ ' Ugh."

Jade snorted despite herself. Holly shrugged. "At least the drugs are gone," she said. "They were in the office, they wouldn't have survived. There are going to be some pretty sick girls around for a few months while it wears off, but there be no way to trace it to us. Unless..."

"Unless what?"

Holly hesitated. "The only other bottle is the one that you have."

"I don't have it," Jade said, confused. "I left it on the table. I thought you'd got rid of it."

"No. I put it back in your bag."

"What?" Jade said. She pulled around the small bag strapped across her shoulder and dug around in it, pulling out the small vial. "Why?"

"Because I had no right to take it," Holly said. "I told you I'd let you decide what you wanted to do. If you want to go to the police, you still can."

Jade stared at the tiny bottle, its label beginning to fade. _T.T._

"Will they come to any harm?" she said quietly.

"The girls? No. I won't pretend it'll be easy for them, they'll be confused for a while, they'll still crave it even though they don't know what it is. But it has no lasting physical effects. You were the only one who ever reacted badly to it."

Jade thought for a minute. She prised the bottle open, emptied out the dregs, and threw it as far as she could into the bushes. "I can't do anything with it without hurting Tori," she said, simply. "And I won't do that."

Holly said nothing, but nodded.

"But if I ever hear about anything else…"

"I understand."

There was a pause. "So what are you going to do now?"

Holly shrugged. "Go home, I guess."

"I mean about the Club."

"I don't know," she said. She looked up at the building, where the fire crew seemed to have fought the fire to a standstill, and were now beginning to get the upper hand. "There are still some decent members, even in the Sisterhood, who might be willing to help us start again."

She looked up and saw the horrified expression on Jade's face. "In the _right_ way," she added, quickly. "Somewhere clean. Somewhere better. Somewhere safe, with proper rules, and equal membership. Somewhere where everyone can be free." She looked at Jade oddly, almost questioningly. "Somewhere with the _right_ people in charge."

Jade couldn't fathom what she meant, and was still pondering it when they saw Tori returning. Before she did, Holly turned to her. "Jade?" she said, softly.

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For this. For coming out here," she said. "I know you didn't do it for me, you did it for Tori, but I appreciate it."

Jade shrugged awkwardly. "You're welcome," she said. "And if it's any consolation, I'm… glad you're not dead."

Holly smiled. "Do you know," she said, "that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."

Jade was saved from having to respond by Tori's arrival, and her insistence that it was Jade's turn for medical reassurance.

"I'm fine," Jade said.

"You're _not_ fine, Jade," Tori said, folding her arms defiantly. "You just got bashed in the head with a fire axe, for one thing. And much as though you like to make out you're invincible, you need to be checked over. Now go. Scoot."

"But-"

"Go."

Jade sighed, and made her way over to the the medic. She glanced behind her, and saw Tori and Holly finally embrace, and breathed a sigh of relief. It would be nice to think that this was the end, that it was all over, and she and Tori could get on with living their lives while Holly busied herself with rebuilding whatever abomination she had in mind - despite her assurances that it would be different, Jade had no intention of ever setting foot in the place. But it was never going to be that simple.

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Tori lay awake that night, staring at the ceiling. Despite the many showers she'd had, she could still smell smoke, and if she closed her eyes all she could see were flames. She wondered how Jade was. By mutual agreement they'd gone home to their own houses tonight, Jade to convince her parents that she still actually lived there, Tori to spend a little time with her mom. In a way the fire had changed everything, cleansed them, destroyed not only the Club but three generations of family baggage. And not just her and her mom – her dad had been away when he heard the news, and had come flying through the door, sweeping his wife up into his arms with such intensity that for a moment Tori though she was going to have to leave the room, or at least cover her eyes. Even Trina had given her mom a hug, for heaven's sake, and the relationship between Holly and her eldest daughter had flatlined years ago.

But she was regretting it now, sleeping alone. The feel of Jade beside her, the girl's ability to sleep through practically anything, would have been a comfort, the soothing sound of her breathing a soporific.

It couldn't be helped. It was only one night. And tomorrow was the first day of the rest of their lives.

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But if Tori thought things were going to get better, they didn't. Over the next few weeks, Jade seemed to slip into a depressive funk, becoming less and less communicative, a girlfriend in name only. If Tori had ever truly wanted a submissive Jade, now she had one in spades - the other girl was listless, biddable, docile, responding to every suggestion or enquiry with a passive shrug of acquiescence. It was almost as if they'd reverted to the early days of their 'relationship', and Tori began to wonder if Jade's offer the night of the fire had been real, that she actually wanted to give up thinking for herself, wanted to be controlled. Tori felt as though she was being tempted by the Devil himself, offered the glittering prize of genuine dominance, a taste of how it should have been. She had no doubt that if she were to assert herself now, Jade would fall, and once she had, she might never recover. She remembered something she'd once read in her mom's paperwork _\- after a while, they get used to it. Come to welcome the security, the freedom from responsibility. Better to be with you and the comfort of the rug by your feet, than shiver on the doorstep outside._ That's what she'd hoped for, that was how her mom had seen the future.

But now that future filled her with despair, the idea of spending the rest of her life in the stifling boredom of a one-sided relationship, of never feeling the spark again, never feeling the thrill of uncertainty, the tremor of excitement at not knowing what was going to happen from one moment to the next. It wasn't as though she wanted to go back to the constant trauma of the last few months, but once you've wrestled a tiger, walking a dog was never going to give you the same kick. She began to realize exactly why Jade had been reluctant to accept her own submission, and why she'd tried so hard to subvert it.

Even at school people were beginning to notice. At first they'd welcomed the respite from her usual prickly attitude, but soon it began to pall, and the mood among them all became almost one of mourning, as though Jade were gone, and the pale shade walking among them was a ghost. The crunch came when Robbie spilt a full cup of juice across her homework in the Asphalt Cafe. The world held its breath, but she simply stared at it with an expression of almost comical sorrow, before getting up and walking away.

Tori gave Robbie a glare that should have singed his eyebrows, and set off after her.

She'd assumed the other girl would be heading to the closet to take out her frustration on the trash can, but Jade started to head towards the parking lot. Alarmed, Tori hurried to catch up.

"Jade! Hey! Wait!"

Jade turned as she reached the car, and her face was white.

"Look," Tori said, taking her hand reassuringly. "It was just an accident, okay? I'm sure he didn't mean it."

Jade shrugged, sadly. "Doesn't matter."

"Are you doing this for me?"

"Doing what?"

"Not being angry. Are you doing it because you think I'll be mad at you? Because I really won't," she said. "I swear. I'm totally fine with it. I'll even hold him down so you can beat him up, if it makes you feel better."

Jade gave a sad little laugh. "That's sweet, Tori. But not today." She went to unlock the car.

"Jade, please," Tori said. "Talk to me."

"It's fine. I'm just tired. I need to go home."

"No, Jade. You've been like this for weeks. What is it? What's bothering you? Is it the fire? The Club?"

"No."

"Is it me?" Tori's voice wavered. "Have I done something?"

"No."

"Then what? Please tell me, Jade. I love you, and if there's something wrong I need to know."

Jade swallowed and looked away. After a moment she spoke.

"I killed them, Tori."

Tori blinked in confusion. "Who?"

"The girls at the Lake."

"What?" Tori spluttered. "That's ridiculous."

"Is it?" Jade said. "I always thought Sally did it. I _knew_ Sally had done it. But I don't have Sally anymore. So it must have been me."

"But... why? Why would you think anyone had done it? Why couldn't it have been an accident?"

"I _saw_ them, Tori," Jade said. "I saw them. Floating in the water. I remember that."

"No," Tori said. "No you don't."

"I do."

"No you _don't,"_ Tori insisted. "Maybe you think you do, but..."

"But what?" Jade said. "And don't tell me you don't think I could hurt anyone, because we both know that's not true."

"It _is_ true."

"I was going to hurt Deborah."

"But you didn't, did you?"

"Only because you stopped me."

"I didn't stop you."

"Yes you did. You had the compass."

"Compass, my ass!"

"Language, Tori."

"Are you seriously telling me that you had the woman who tortured you in the palm of your hand, completely helpless, and you didn't go through with it because of some stupid promise?"

"It wasn't stupid!"

"All right," Tori said, at the flash of anger in Jade's eyes, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. But... Okay, then, how were you going to do it?"

"What?"

"Kill her. How were you going to finish her off?" Tori said. "Strangle her? Stab her? Set fire to her? Shoot her?"

"Tori!"

"Come on, you must have some idea. She wasn't just going to magically disappear. How were you going to move the body?"

"I... I don't know," Jade said. "I hadn't really thought that far."

"No, of _course_ you hadn't," Tori said, exasperated. "Because you never intended to do it. You wanted to frighten her, maybe rough her up a little, but you were never going to kill her because that's not the person you _are._ For all the stomping around, and the scissors, and the bad attitude, and the terrorizing your girlfriend when she totally doesn't deserve it, you're not a murderer. You're a normal, seventeen-year-old girl, just like me."

Jade couldn't help raising an eyebrow, and Tori sighed. "That's not an insult, Jade," she said. "That's a _good_ thing. You're no more a killer than I am. Whatever happened at the Lake, I don't believe it was anything to do with you."

Jade bit her lip, her resolve crumbling in the face of Tori's logic. "So why do I remember it?"

"Dreams, Jade." She stepped forward and put her arms around the other girl, hugging her tightly. "They're just dreams. And they'll go away, eventually."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

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Things got better for a while.

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And then they got worse.

Jade didn't turn up for school. She wasn't answering her phone, either. Tori dithered between catching a ride with Trina, and going over to Jade's house to find out where she was. In the end she got Trina to drive her over there on her way to school, much to Trina's pretended annoyance.

"I am not your taxi service, Tori."

"I love you too, Trina."

"Will you stop saying that."

"Not until you admit I'm your favorite sister."

"You are my favorite sister. Of all the sisters I have, you're the least worst." Trina pulled up outside Jade's house. She hesitated. "Do you want me to wait?"

Tori looked out. Jade's car was still on the driveway. "No," she said. "Either she'll drive me, or I'll catch a bus."

"And what if..?"

"What?"

Trina sighed. "What if something's wrong?"

"Wrong?"

"Jesus, Tor, do I have to spell it out? What if something's wrong with her. What if she's done something... stupid."

"Oh, God." Tori panicked. "You don't think-"

At that moment Mr West came out of the house. He looked drawn and tired, but no more than usual. He gave them a half-wave.

"He doesn't look too upset," Trina said. "I'm sure it'll be fine. She's probably just sick, or something."

"Yeah." Tori nodded, and got out of the car. "I'll call you."

"Okay." Trina revved the engine. "Later, sis."

Tori let herself in when it looked as though Mr West wasn't coming back any time soon, and made her way up to Jade's room with a certain nervousness. She was never quite sure of what to expect when she called without warning.

She wasn't expecting this. 'Fine' was not how she'd have put it. 'Fine' went no way to describing the scene of devastation before her. Drawers were pulled out, clothing strewn, everything in the room that could possible hold anything bigger than a matchstick was emptied and discarded, as though by the world's angriest burglar. And in the centre of it, sat on the bed, was Jade.

Her eyes flashed with paranoia as she looked up, but her expression softened when she saw it was Tori. "Hi."

Tori stood, speechless. "What," she said, when she recovered, "the heck is going on?"

Jade said nothing for a moment, but looked down at a tiny scrap of paper in her lap. "I was looking for something," she murmured.

Tori began to feel the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. "What?" she said carefully.

Jade simple picked up the scrap, and handed it to her. She stared at it.

A bus ticket. It was faded and badly creased, and she had to squint at it to make out the details. "Silver Falls?"

Jade nodded. "Look at the date."

She did so. The ticket was over two years old. She looked up, questioningly.

"Two years ago I took a bus ride to a place called Silver Falls," she said.

Tori frowned in confusion. "I get that," she said, "but I don't see..."

She trailed off at the look of desolation on the other girl's face.

"Silver Falls is the nearest town to Echo Lake," Jade said, quietly.

"No..."

"I went there, Tori. At the end of the summer. I went there. It was me."

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	63. Chapter 63 - A Drop in the Ocean

**Hello again. We're getting very close to the end, now, thank you for your patience. Quite a long chapter this, and just for a change, today we're going to have the cliffhanger in the middle. _And_ it involves an actual cliff...**

 **And if you want to see the original version of the scene at the end, go back and read chapter 6 - 'The Date'.**

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"I have to go to the police."

Tori was still looking from the bus ticket to the girl on the bed, and it took a moment to register what she was saying.

"What?" It finally sank in. "Whoa, wait a minute! Why?"

"Because I killed someone, Tori," Jade said, patiently. "I have to tell them."

"No! No, no, no. You can't do that."

"Why?"

"Because you don't even know it was you!" Tori said. "You don't remember anything."

"I remember enough."

"But..." Tori cast around desperately. "They already think it was an accident. They won't believe you."

"I still have to try. I have to make them believe me."

"Why, for God's sake?"

"Because it's the right thing to do, Tori," Jade said. "You said yourself that I'd never be able to live with hurting Deborah, what do you expect me to do when I find out something like this? Spend the rest of my life ignoring it? It was one thing believing it, but now I _know_. And if I want to be the kind of person you think I am, then I have to confess, and take what's coming. Take what I deserve."

"And what about what I deserve?" Tori said. "Jesus, Jade, haven't we been through enough already?"

"Tori..."

"I don't want you to go to jail," she said. "I don't want to spend the rest of my life talking to you on some stupid intercom and pressing my hand up against the glass. I want to live with you, grow old together."

"It might not come to that," Jade said. "I was young. I might even get away with diminished responsibility."

"But that's not what you want, is it?" Tori said, angrily. "You want to be punished for some crime that you don't even know happened."

"This is proof, Tori."

"No it isn't! This is _nothing_." She briefly contemplated screwing the ticket up and swallowing it. "So you took a bus ride. So what? Maybe you... went for a day out, or something."

Jade stared at her. "A day out?" she said. "You seriously think I decided to go all the way to the one place I hate more than anything in the world, just to have a picnic? Are you out of your mind?"

"No, but-"

"There's only one reason I would go there, Tori. One."

Tori threw up her hands in despair and felt tears prickling. It seemed so unfair, so self-defeating, after everything they'd been through, for Jade to be the one to pull the rug from under their feet. She didn't think for a minute that the cops would be ready to drag Jade downtown on the evidence of an old bus ticket - they were busy people, and it wasn't even an open case. In fact it probably wasn't a case at all. But it was the beginning of something. She knew Jade, and she had no doubt whatsoever that she was perfectly capable of devoting the rest of her life to trying to prove she'd done it, to dedicating herself to a task that might seem noble if it was someone _else_ in the firing line, some other crime gone unsolved. You heard about this kind of thing, of people spending their whole lives - ruining their whole lives, sometimes - in pursuit of justice. But Jade was doing this to herself, and all for nothing.

 _Unless she was guilty._

And suddenly the danger became more real. If Jade hadn't been involved, then they'd never find anything, and her obsession would come to nothing, the damage entirely psychological. But if she had...

 _A fingerprint on the boat, a scrap of material caught on a splinter, sitting in a dusty filing cabinet, unmatched, forgotten. Until one day a strange girl comes along and claims them, demands that they belong to her._

 _An investigation opened. News reports._

 _A trial._

What would she think if this was someone else's cause? What if it was a mother, a brother, a father of one of the girls who was trying to uncover the truth about their daughter's death? Would she applaud them? Would she admire them, but if, and _only_ if, it wasn't Jade's freedom at stake? Would she want to protect Jade for her own sake, even if she was a killer?

And finally she had to ask herself the question that she'd been avoiding for the last few weeks, ever since Jade had pointed out the logic of the situation, the one question that colored everything now.

 _Do you think she did it?_

She looked at the girl sat cross-legged on the bed, mute, obsessive, self-absorbed, and she realized that she didn't know the answer. For all the emotional turmoil of their relationship, the insanity of their first few months, the intensity of the events since the car crash, did she really know Jade at all? Every time she thought she had a handle on the situation, every time she thought she'd understood, she'd been blindsided by something else, some new aspect that had sent her scrabbling to catch up again. The Devil had tempted her a week ago with the opportunity of taking back control, of rolling Jade over, and she'd spurned him - now a sneaky little voice said, _well, welcome to the flipside_. _You could have had a life of domination, even if Jade had ditched you your mom would have found you someone else in the end. But you gave it up for her, you gave it up because you wanted to be excited, to not know what was coming next. And here it is. Enjoy._

Shut up.

But the question still remained. Did she believe her? Did she believe that the woman she loved had swum out into the middle of a lake and killed five people?

Well, four people, as if that made a difference.

And yet it _did_ make a difference, although she couldn't quite put her finger on it. But she felt as though there was something hovering just out of view, a bug in her peripheral vision, an idea nagging for her attention but unwilling to show itself.

She was missing something.

 _Time_. She needed time to figure it out. But Jade was already pulling her boots on, as though she was heading downtown right now. She was going to have to stall her, exercise a little soft power.

"Wait," she said. "Please, wait. Look, I understand, okay? If you really feel you need to do this, I understand."

"You do?" Jade looked surprised.

"Yes. I get that you feel guilty, and you want to atone for whatever you think you've done. But at least wait for a while."

"What for?"

" _Me_ , Jade. You can't just announce something like this and then walk away. Just wait a few days. There's nothing to lose by it, and you might remember something else, something that changes your mind. And if you don't, well, my dad's away until Sunday. When he gets back, if you still feel the same, we'll talk to him, ask him what to do."

"Your dad?" Jade didn't sound impressed, and Tori couldn't really blame her.

"Look, whatever else he is, he's still a cop. He'll know the best way to do this. You don't want to end up getting fined for... I don't know, wasting police time or something. Maybe there's a way these things should be done."

Jade looked skeptical, but eventually she nodded, glumly. "Okay," she said.

"Thank you."

Jade looked at her for a minute. "Do you think I did it?" she said, quietly.

Tori hesitated, unexpectedly called on her internal dilemma. "Well, that's not really fair is it?" she said, trying to evade the question. "You're asking me if I think you're a murderer or a liar. Either way, I might not make it out of the house alive."

Her attempt at lightening the mood fell flat, as Jade shrugged and looked away, and she realized that was hardly the answer she'd been looking for.

"No," she said, firmly. "I don't."

Jade looked up. "Really?"

"Really," Tori said. "And if I thought it would make any difference, I would beg you, _beg_ you not to do this, to just forget it and walk away."

"Then why don't you?"

"Because you _can't_ , can you?" Tori said, exasperated. "After all this time you can't bring yourself to stop thinking about it, to let it go. You need closure, you need release, and I don't know how to give you that. I don't want to live my life the way it's been these last few weeks, with you barely there, too busy obsessing about this to pay me any attention..."

Jade opened her mouth to speak, but Tori cut her off. "And yes, I know that sounds pretty selfish," she said, "but I can't help it. I love you, Jade. I don't want you to hate me, or resent me, and you will if you think I forced you into something against what you think is right, if you think I used your feelings for me as leverage against you, even if it was to stop you doing something stupid. I can't win, can I? So maybe this is for the best. At least you'll find out one way or another. That's my deal. You think about this for a few days until my dad's back, and if you still feel you have to do this, then we'll talk to him together."

Jade nodded. She stared at her hands. "I do love you, Tori," she said quietly.

Tori sighed. She leaned over and kissed her on the top of the head. "I know you do."

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The days passed, but Jade was still preoccupied with the bus ticket, and Tori felt her opportunity slipping away. Whatever it was that had begged for her attention at Jade's house was still elusive, still tantalizingly out of reach. She found herself on the internet, pulling up old news reports about the accident, scanning them for clues, hints as to Jade's involvement, but there was nothing beyond a few plain facts. The boat was found a mile from shore, with no signs of having been tampered with, the life jackets were eventually discovered close by. The authorities couldn't say whether they'd even been worn - the company that had hired the boat out, a twenty foot Caledonian yawl, insisted that they'd given strict safety instructions to the girls, and that they'd seemed a sensible, upright bunch, but the autopsy had revealed alcohol in their systems.

She tried to picture Jade, rising from the depths, silently breaking the surface of the water, her eyes scanning the boat, reaching for the edge, tipping it over... How much effort would it take to overturn a boat that size? Perhaps she'd got aboard, and fought with them, but there were five girls, they wouldn't have gone down easily. And there was nothing in the articles to suggest physical violence before they entered the water.

 _Five girls._ But there weren't five, were there? It was Jade who'd said five, that night in the Club. But Deborah hadn't been there. Could she have missed her in the scuffle? Would she have been in any position to count them? Did she get them in the water first and then overpower them one by one? It all seemed crazy, but then a few months ago she never thought she'd see Jade volunteer to be crucified, just to prove a point. There was no telling what she might do, fired by the kind of rage that must have been boiling in her at the end of the summer.

There was something else, something she'd heard, something someone had told her that she'd ignored at the time. What was it?

Her head was starting to hurt. She wasn't used to thinking this much, maybe she needed a break for a couple of hours. She'd ask Jade... No, it was hardly worth asking Jade anything, all she'd do was shrug, and say _sure_.

As if on cue, Jade arrived. Tori turned to her and plastered on a fake smile. "Beach!" she said, with as much enthusiasm as she could muster.

Jade shrugged. "Sure." She stood there, waiting. Tori ran up to her room and grabbed her beach things, stuffed them into a bag, and came back down to where Jade was still rooted to the same spot, staring vacantly into space.

"Come on," Tori said. "We'll swing by your house and get your swimsuit. Unless you want to borrow something of mine?"

Jade shrugged again. "No," she said. "I'm good."

"So we'll go to your house, yes?"

"I don't really feel like-"

"Yes you do. Come on."

Jade sighed, and allowed herself to be dragged to the car. They drove to her house, and Tori personally supervised the retrieval of the swimsuit, to forestall any objections later that she'd brought the wrong one, or lost it. She wasn't going to have Jade sit fully-dressed on the sand with a face like thunder, she needed some sun on her bones. And if this was the last time...

She shook her head to banish the treacherous thought. _Of course this wasn't the last time._

But something was going to change tomorrow, and now they were on borrowed time.

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Tori gave directions as Jade drove. There were plenty of beaches much nearer, but Tori had felt a strange compulsion to come _here_ , to the small, sandy cove where she'd spent so much time at as a child, in the days before their family history had caught up with her, in the days she could look at her mom and see nothing else but a happy, loving mother. A few weeks ago she couldn't have faced it, knowing its memory was tainted, but since the fire she'd begun to feel a new connection forming, not just with her mom, but with her dad, too. The sight of them embracing in the living room, shedding genuine tears, had made her feel more normal than she had in a long time. They were never going to be normal, of course - what had Jade called them? _The weirdest family in L.A._ But at least they were all on the same side for once.

"It's just down here."

Jade gave the same resigned grunt with which she'd greeted every fresh instruction that took them further away from home, but pulled the car over, and parked up on the bare patch of land overlooking the cove.

A dirt track led down the gentle grassy slope towards the little sandy beach. On either side of the cove, the land rose more steeply, forming low cliffs over deep blue water, and Tori smiled as she remembered the happy hours she'd spent throwing herself off the rocks in various poses, trying to get her dad to take the perfect photo of her in mid-air. There was no one around, which pleased her greatly. _This is still my place_. You needed to drive to get here, and most people preferred to go further down the coast, where there were parking lots for your RV, and facilities, and no danger of ever being more than thirty seconds away from a burger and a sixteen-ounce Slurpee. But here there was nowhere big enough to park your RV, just a scrub of land and the most beautiful view she'd ever seen.

"Come on."

They took their towels in an old beach bag and made their way down the hill. "What do you think?" Tori said, proprietorially, as though she'd made the entire thing herself.

Despite herself, Jade nodded, appreciatively. "Nice," she said. "How did you know about this place?"

"I used to come here when I was a kid."

She bit her lip as soon as she'd said it, unsure of whether childhood memories might be the wrong thing to bring up, but Jade said nothing. They came to the beach, and Tori wrapped her towel around herself, wriggling out of her clothes and into her swimsuit. Jade stood staring out to sea, her expression unreadable.

"Aren't you getting changed?"

"Hmm?" Jade's attention switched back to Tori. "Oh. Sure."

Tori held the large, black towel around her while she got changed. She'd seen Jade's body from every angle imaginable, but she still felt a little thrill at catching a glimpse of it like this, unexpectedly, unawares. She scolded herself and looked away. _This is hardly the time._ When Jade was done, she laid the towels out, and took Jade's hand. Together they waded out into the gentle waves lapping at the shore.

As soon as it was deep enough, Tori launched herself into the water, head down at first, a few long kicks to take her out of her depth, before she brought her head up for breath and swam more lazily away from the shore, letting the chill of the water cool her body and clear her head. She turned back towards land, bobbing for a moment, expecting to see Jade following, but the other girl was still stood where she'd left her.

"Aren't you coming in?" she called.

Jade glanced up with a start, and shook her head. "No," she said. "I'm fine."

"Come on!" Tori waggled a toe. "It'll do you good, make you feel better. There aren't any dolphins," she added.

"No, I... had a big lunch. I don't want to get cramp."

Tori scoffed. "That was hours ago," she said. "And anyway, that's just an old wives' tale."

But Jade remained where she was. "I've kind of hurt my shoulder, too."

"But..." Tori trailed off. There was something about the way Jade was standing, water barely to mid-thigh, occasionally trailing a hand experimentally across the surface, her gaze lifted warily not towards Tori, but to the open ocean beyond, that sent a shiver through her. And then it occurred to her. _Of course Jade doesn't want to swim_ , she told herself, guiltily. It reminds her of Echo Lake.

She tried to think of the last time she'd seen her in the water. They'd been to the beach with Beck and the others a few times, but Jade always stayed out of the sea, preferring to lay herself out in a sun hat and shades like a nineteen-fifties film star, a book propped in her lap, peering over the top of her dark glasses to raise an eyebrow in disapproval whenever their splashing around got too close. She'd wondered why at the time. Now it seemed obvious.

But was it?

And it was there. The edge of something. She could feel it in her mind. What had Cat said? Jade _never_ liked the water. _Not even when she was little_.

And things began to fall into place.

The bridge. Melina Creek.

 _You couldn't drown in Melina Creek, it was barely five feet deep. You'd either have to have concrete in your boots or..._

It couldn't be that, surely. She looked back at Jade in the shallows, at the lonely figure paddling up and down, and felt a terrible sense of sadness. _How deep in denial would you have to be, how unable to admit weakness, how desperate to show the world you weren't afraid, to bury something like this so deep that you were willing to be punished for a sin you didn't commit?_

Jade couldn't go on like this. It had to end. Here.

She knew what she had to do. And something that Jade had once done told her how.

She headed quickly back to shore, finding her feet, wading out of the water. "Come on," she said. "Let's go for a walk."

"Okay," Jade said, sounding relieved. "Where to?"

Tori pointed to the rocks that rose up over the deep water at the end of the cove. "Up there."

"Are we getting dressed?"

"No, we can leave our stuff here. We won't be long. I want to show you something."

"What?"

"Something important."

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They scrambled across the cliff, wet feet on hot rock, the sun drying them as they went. They reached the top, and Jade paused, face turned to the sun, to let the breeze blow through her hair. Tori looked back at her, standing alone on the hill - beautiful, tragic, distant - and for a moment felt a pang of guilt at what she was about to do. _Forgive me, Jade. I only mean it for the best._

"Down here."

Tori led the way down the cliff, Jade following, to a small rock shelf, overlooking a deep pool, where the sea had slowly carved its way down into the bedrock. The drop to the surface wasn't far, no more than ten feet, but it was dwarfed by the depth of the water below. This had been her favorite spot as a kid, and she'd spent long hours here fooling around, diving in, trying to find the bottom, but she never had.

She felt a tremor of nervousness. _Was this the right thing_? She could still stop, turn around, try and talk things through. But now she realized that something had brought her here, made her choose this place, that somewhere inside she'd known all along.

 _Jade didn't like the water. Maybe it didn't like her either._

She stood right on the edge, and beckoned Jade to stand beside her. "Come and look."

Jade approached, with a certain amount of caution, and peered over. "What?" she said. "What is it?"

"You need to lean over."

"I am leaning over."

"Further."

Jade craned her neck as far as she could, teetering on the edge. "I don't see it."

Tori sighed. She lifted a hand to Jade's face, brushing a strand of hair away. "I'm so sorry," she said, softly.

Jade looked up, her pale eyes searching Tori's in confusion. "Why?"

But Tori simply shook her head, sadly. She let her fingers trail gently through Jade's hair, across her shoulders, and slowly down to small of her back.

And pushed.

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Tori hit the water a split second after Jade, hands pointed above her head, body arched, her dive taking her in a deep arc, coming up beneath the sinking girl, grabbing her, bringing her gasping to the surface. She slipped a hand under her chin, supporting Jade's body with her own, and set off with long, powerful strokes towards the shore. By the time they reached the shallows Jade was fighting her, trying to find her feet, making it barely out of the water before she collapsed on the sand, coughing and retching.

Tori flopped down beside her, panting, as Jade regained her breath enough to be absolutely furious.

"What the hell?" she yelled, wiping her face. "What was that for? You nearly killed me!"

But Tori was unrepentant. "I knew it!" she said, gleefully. "I just knew it!"

"Knew what?"

"You can't swim, can you?"

"Of course I can swim!"

"No you can't! You were thrashing around like a one-legged donkey in there!"

"I can! You just took me by surprise, that's all!"

"No you can't." Tori rolled over to straddle Jade, who fought back.

"Get off of me!"

"No!" Tori pinned her down. "Not until you admit it."

"Leave me alone!"

"Say it!"

"No!"

" _Say_ it!"

"Fuck you!"

"Say it, or so help me I'm going to drag you back in there and make you prove it!"

A trace of fear crossed Jade's face. "You wouldn't!"

"Try me!"

"I... ugh... you... I am so gonna..." But Tori wasn't going to let go, and finally Jade capitulated. She lay still for a moment, breathing heavily, glaring at Tori. "Okay, fine!" she snapped. "I can't... I never really learnt to swim. What about it?"

"I knew it!" Tori said again.

"So you knew it. Well done you. Can you get off me now?"

"No. What happened with the dolphin, Jade?"

"What dolphin?"

"You said you swam with dolphins."

"Oh, that," Jade muttered. "It was a school trip. Everyone was really excited, and when they asked me, I didn't want to miss out. So I told them I could swim." Tori raised an eyebrow. "I didn't think it would matter!" Jade said hotly. "I thought they'd put us in life jackets, or something, or we'd just watch from the boat. Anyway, they got us in wetsuits and it looked like we were going to have to get in, and I figured it would be okay, I'd just pick it up as I went along. I mean, how hard could it be, right? But then they put me in the water, and everyone was watching, and I started sinking, and... and... I just panicked." Jade looked away, red-faced. "I told them the dolphin attacked me."

Tori blinked in disbelief. "How hard can it be?" she echoed. "For crying out loud, Jade, that is _exactly_ the attitude that gets you into all this trouble."

"I still don't see why you're making such a big deal out of it! Why didn't you just ask, instead of trying to drown me?"

"Because you wouldn't have admitted it, otherwise, would you?" Tori said. " _What kind of idiot can't swim?_ you said to me that night in the Club, when you told me about the boat. Well, what kind of idiot pretends they can, _even to themselves_? Why would you do that?"

"Because it's embarrassing!" Jade said, angrily. "And I think it's a pretty mean trick to push me in just to humiliate me, Tori. Don't you think I've had enough of that already?"

"I didn't do it to humiliate you," Tori said. "I did it to prove something."

"What, that I can't swim?" Jade said, irritably. "You don't think that's going a little over the top? So what if I can't swim? It's not a crime, is it?"

Tori laughed. "No, it's not a crime. It's not a crime at all. That's what I'm trying to show you."

"I don't get it."

"You don't do you? You really don't."

"No."

Tori leaned down and took Jade's face between her hands. "You can't _swim_ , Jade," she said, carefully. "Don't you see what that means?"

"What?"

"It means that you _couldn't have killed those girls_."

She sat back triumphantly, as Jade opened and closed her mouth a few times. "What?" she managed.

"Do you seriously expect me to believe you managed to swim out into the middle of a lake and capsize a boat full of people?" Tori said. "Even you admitted that must have been difficult, and you though Sally was practically superhuman. They were a mile out, Jade. A _mile_. You can't even go far enough in to get your ass wet."

"I-"

"Don't even try, Jade. Don't even _try_ to find a way. They were the only boat on the lake that day, the police said so. And it wasn't sabotaged, it didn't have a hole in it, it was just fine. So unless you stowed away in the beer-cooler or hired a helicopter, it's just not humanly possible. Not if that human is you, anyway."

"But... who else would have done it?"

" _Nobody_ did it!" Tori said. "That's the point. It was an _accident_ , Jade, just like everyone said it was. There was no crime. They were just four girls, drunk, in a boat they didn't know how to control. And who wears a life jacket to a party? They were messing around and they turned the boat over. End of story. A tragic accident." She thought about the camping trip for a moment. "Well, not tragic. But still an accident."

Jade lay back, stunned. "But what about the bus ticket?"

Tori shrugged. "I don't _know,_ Jade," she said. "I really don't. Maybe you did go there. Maybe you went to try and find them, and you were too late. Maybe you even saw it happen, and that's what your memories are. But it wasn't you. It _couldn't_ have been you."

Jade lay back on the sand, eyes fixed on the sky, for a full minute, while Tori held her breath. Finally the pale girl spoke.

"I didn't do it," she whispered.

Tori exhaled in relief. "No you didn't."

"I didn't do it."

"You didn't do it."

"I couldn't have done it."

"You couldn't have done it."

"Because I can't swim."

"You can't swim."

Jade sat bolt upright, sending Tori tumbling off her. "I can't swim!" she shouted, happily. "Hey, you!" she yelled at a passing crab. "I can't swim! Yeah, you heard me! You wanna make something of it, you crusty little bastard?"

The crab clearly didn't, and scuttled away in alarm, but Jade didn't care. She turned back to Tori. "How did you know?" she demanded.

Tori squirmed. She didn't really want to bring up Melina Creek. "The bodies," she said, instead. "You always said there were five bodies in the water, because you didn't know Deborah wasn't there. And I figured that would be the kind of thing you'd notice, you know, what with you being so..." She wavered somewhere between 'dangerously obsessive', and 'anally retentive'. "Good at counting?" she offered, hopefully.

"Hah!"

"And the whole cliff thing was your idea, really."

"Mine?"

"That time you pushed me off the balcony, remember? When I was too scared to do the stunt in my audition."

"You said that was dangerous and reckless."

"It was. But it worked."

"Damn it. And now I can't be mad with you." She grabbed Tori by the shoulders. "God, I love you, Tori Vega," she said, planting a salty kiss hard on her lips. "You are way, way smarter than you look."

"Er, thanks." Tori frowned. "I think. Anyway, maybe we should... Yipe!"

She found herself rolled over, Jade now on top, looking down at her intensely.

"Tori?"

"Yes?"

"Can we start again?" Jade said. "Please?"

"Start again?"

"Yes," she said. "Away from all this, without all the collars, and the corsets, and the butt-plugs and the bullshit. I'm not saying some of it hasn't been fun, I'm not saying we'd never do it again, but I want to go back to the beginning, just you and me. To start the way we should have started. I want to know what it's like to kiss you for the first time, Tori. I want to know what it's like to hold hands, I want to know what it's like to do nothing on a Saturday night but curl up with you and watch TV. I want to know what it's like to fall in love with the funny, pretty little girl from school, the one that I first met, the one with the fluffy bunnies and the Katy Perry posters, the one that sings like an angel and shoots milk through her nose when she laughs."

"Jade…"

"And maybe, maybe you could fall in love with me, too."

"I _do_ love you."

"Not this me," Jade said. "The..." She hesitated, and there was a crack in her voice. "The other one."

And Tori understood. Not this Jade - battered and bruised, broken and twisted, angry at the world. _The other one_. The one that had been silent for so long, the one that had been there before Sally, and Caroline, before Melina Creek and the Diamond Club. Before Echo Lake. The bright, happy girl that had packed her rucksack that day and headed off with a smile on her face and a compass in her pocket.

She reached up and put her arms around Jade, pulling her down into a tight embrace, so that she couldn't see the tears, and whispered in her ear.

"We can start again."

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 _"So, Tori," Jade said, widening her eyes for emphasis as she leaned forward and rested her chin on her interlocked fingers. "Tell me about yourself."_

 _They were sat either side of a table, in a restaurant which was a couple of breadsticks nicer than the restaurant where they'd spent their original first 'date'._

 _Tori looked slightly confused. "What do you mean?"_

 _"This is our first date," Jade said, patiently. "Traditionally, this is the bit where we lie like crazy until we think we might get a second one."_

 _Tori rolled her eyes. "It's hardly our first time, is it?"_

 _"No, but then our_ _first_ _time just consisted of me being mad at you. It wasn't really what I'd call a date, as such."_

 _Tori sighed. "Um, okay. My name is Tori Vega, I'm a student at Hollywood Arts. I live at home with my mom and dad and my sister, and I love singing and acting, and I hope to be a famous pop star someday."_

 _"Interesting." Jade said, with a sly grin, and waited until their waiter moved into earshot. "And of course you're heavily into-"_

 _"Nothing."_

 _"What?"_

 _"Nothing," Tori said brightly. "Nothing at all." She smiled. "I'm just your ordinary, everyday, all-American teenager."_

 _"Is that right?"_

 _"Yep," Tori said, with a smile._ _" Although..."_

 _She glanced furtively around the restaurant, picked up a napkin, and twisted it around her wrist._

 _"I am willing to experiment," she murmured, coyly, giving it a little tug. "If I found the right girl."_

 _There was a long pause, and then_ _Jade laughed. "I'll bet you are." She picked up her glass. "What shall we drink to?"_

 _Tori thought long and hard, before picking up her own glass._

 _"_ _Equality," she said._

 _._

 _._

 _._


	64. Chapter 64 - Legacy

**Hi. This was going to be the last chapter, but it was getting quite long, and I didn't want you to fall asleep in the middle. The next chapter will be the final one.**

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 _Jade lay face down, trembling, terrified of what was about to happen to her. Above her, Tori surveyed her half-naked body with disapproval._

 _"Don't move," she snapped. "I've told you before, if you move you'll be sorry."_

 _Jade managed a squeak of apology, not daring to speak._

 _"I know you don't like this," Tori said. "But it has to be done. You need to learn, Jade. You need discipline. Do you understand?"_

 _Jade nodded, just barely._

 _"Good. Now let's start again." There was a whimper from below her. "And we're going to keep starting again," she said, sharply, "until you learn your lesson. Okay?"_

 _Another nod._

 _"Right. Then we'll begin."_

She took a deep breath. "Okay," she said. "I'm going to let you go… _now_." She lowered her arms away from where they'd been supporting Jade's body in the water, and started barking instructions. "That's it, kick your legs, keep going, nice and even. Arms! Move your arms! You've got to keep… That's it! You're doing it!" She clapped her hands in delight. "You're swimming!"

Jade's progress was slow and ungainly, arms and legs moving with little grace but absolute determination. She went only a few yards before her concentration broke and she collapsed beneath the water in a flurry of limbs, but it was enough. She came spluttering to the surface, eyes bright with success.

"Well?"

"Not bad," Tori said, approvingly. "But like I said, you need discipline. Stay focused. Keep your arms and legs straighter on the long stroke and move them together."

"Jeez, you and your 'discipline'. You're loving this, aren't you?"

"Getting to boss you about and treat you like a kid? Yeah." Jade raised an eyebrow. "What?" Tori said, defensively. "It's not often I get to be better at something than you. The least you could is let me revel in it. You know," she pouted. "If you loved me."

Jade sighed. "I do love you," she said. "Revel away."

"Thank you."

"Feel free to mock me for my shortcomings, bask in my inadequacies, let my deep-seated childhood failures amuse you. Don't let my feelings hold you back. You go for it."

"Well, now you're taking all the fun out of it."

Jade laughed. "I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you."

"You'd better."

"I'm supposed to be teaching you to drive, remember?"

"Yeah. And I'm sure that there's absolutely no chance of you basking in my inadequacies _then_ , is there?"

"I wouldn't do that."

"Good."

"I'll be too busy hiding under the seat in fear."

"Shut up."

"Come on, let's get dressed."

They drove back to the house. Jade seemed a little distracted. "Are you okay?" Tori said.

"Mmm? Oh. Yeah, I guess."

"What is it?"

"I was just thinking about Deborah, that's all."

"What about her?"

"I feel kind of bad about her."

"You feel bad for Deborah?" Tori said, surprised. "Why?"

"Because you were right," Jade said. "I know what it's like to be frightened like that. I shouldn't have put someone else through it. But I did it, because I felt she deserved it. I really did. But now her mom's dead, Tori, and it kind of puts things in perspective. What happened to me at Lake was bad, but I'd go through it again in a heartbeat if it was a choice between that and losing someone I loved."

"You think she loved Marla? I can't see her Marla being the motherly type."

"Family bonds run deep, Tori."

"But-"

Jade glanced across at her. "Don't they?"

And Tori realized what she meant. She and Jade had risked everything to save her mom from the fire at the Club. Holly had endured a lifetime of misery to protect her own mother from disgrace. And Jade had suffered in silence for years to save her dad from being destroyed by the knowledge of what had happened at Echo Lake.

Would Deborah have been noble enough to do any of that? Probably not, Tori decided privately. But it wasn't often that Jade reflected kindly on the human spirit, so she let it lie.

"Do you think I should apologize?" Jade was saying.

She thought about it. "Do you want my honest opinion?"

"Of course."

"Are you sure? Because you might not like it."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you really think she'd be pleased to see you?" Tori said. "She's going to hate you, Jade. She's going to hate you forever."

"I know, but if I explain-"

"Would you be doing it for her, or for you?"

"I don't know. For me, I guess."

"Then it's not really an apology is it?"

Jade's jaw dropped at Tori's bluntness, and then she realized she was right. "Wow," she said. "I never really thought about it like that."

"Well, I've apologized a lot, I've had practice," Tori said. "And it only makes you feel better if they feel better too. And she won't."

"Maybe you're right. You see? That's something else you're better at than me."

"Apologizing?"

"Understanding people."

They drove on in silence for a minute.

"What else?" Tori said.

"What?"

"Something else is bothering you. What is it?"

"Nothing."

"Come on."

"Okay," Jade sighed. "I told my dad. About the Lake. I told him yesterday."

"What?" Tori said in surprise. "Oh, _Jade_. Why didn't you say something? I'd have come with you, given you some moral support."

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't. I couldn't let him think that you'd known all this time and he was only just finding out. It wouldn't have been fair."

"So how did it go?"

Jade hesitated. "Better than I expected," she said. "I didn't tell him everything, just that I'd been bullied at camp, and that's why I'd been depressed."

"What did he say?"

"He cried. And then he started apologizing, beating himself up over it, and then I cried, too, and..." She shook her head. "I won't lie to you, Tori, it was pretty fucking horrible. I felt like a monster, cutting him up like that. But I think in the end it helped. Because now he knows _why_. And that's a big thing, understanding. That's why he was so miserable all these years, because he never knew why. And he knows that it won't happen again, too, that I'm not damaged beyond repair, constantly on the verge of doing something stupid. He knows I'm over it. So no matter how bad it's been, the wound can start to heal over. For both of us. The thorn is gone."

Tori reached out, and squeezed Jade's leg. There was nothing else to say.

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A few months later. Jade's eighteenth birthday. She hadn't wanted a fuss, but her wishes counted for nothing, because in Tori's world, birthdays were a big deal. So when she'd arrived at Tori's house, after a subdued but pleasant family celebration that morning, she found herself festooned in balloons and streamers, while Tori bounced around her like a puppy.

"Happy birthday!"

"Hey."

"Here's a card. No, wait! Here's the present. No, wait, card first. Or do you want the present?"

"I-"

"Card."

She opened Tori's card. Nobody did 'cute' like Tori. She'd made it herself, with exactly the same amount of dexterity she brought to all her science projects, i.e. none. There was glitter everywhere.

"It's lovely."

"And now… present!"

Jade opened the present, carefully. It was a scarf. A silk scarf. It was delicately patterned, clearly expensive, and by the look on Tori's face, definitely multi-purpose. She raised an eyebrow, and Tori blushed. "It's not for that," she said.

Jade grinned. "Not yet, it's not." She wrapped it around her neck. The faint flecks of green matched her eyes. "It's beautiful," she murmured. "Thank you."

"And that's not your only present, either."

"Really?"

"But I can't show you the other one." Tori bit her lip, coquettishly. "You'll have to wait until later."

"Wow, that sounds-"

"Jade?" Holly appeared in the doorway. "Could I have a word?"

"Sure."

"In private."

Jade rolled her eyes, gave Tori's hand a squeeze, and followed Holly though to the office. She stood as Holly fumbled with a set of keys, unlocking a desk drawer, and pulled out two envelopes. She held them for a moment, without turning around.

"It's your birthday today," she said.

"Is it?" Jade said. "Why, so it is. I hadn't noticed." She was already wearing a large badge that said _18 Today!_ that Tori had bought and insisted on pinning to her jacket. She and Holly had come to an understanding since the fire, but it didn't preclude a little sarcasm. "So," she said, when Holly didn't move, "did you bring me in here just to remind me? Or have you got me a present?"

Holly turned. "In a way, yes," she said, her voice strained. Jade watched her, warily. At eighteen you became liable for all kinds of things, and she hoped Holly wasn't about to set her up for something awful. She tried to remember the last time she'd signed anything. "Really?"

Holly nodded, and handed over the first envelope. Jade took it. The envelope was already open, and she noticed it said 'Holly' on the front, in cursive handwriting. "This is to you?"

"Partly."

She pulled out the sheets. "On the night that you came to the Club," Holly said, "Caroline gave me a letter. It was a personal letter. I hadn't seen her in a long time, and I think she feared that she might not get chance to say the things in it face to face."

"What things?"

Holly paused. "We were lovers, once, Caroline and I," she said. "And there were certain matters left unresolved between us."

"Oh."

"Within that letter was another. You have it there. It was sealed, with instructions that it was only to be opened in the event of her death. It relates to you."

"To me?" Jade said. "Why would it relate to me?"

"Read it."

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 _Dear Holly_

 _It is with a heavy heart that I write this letter, because I know that by the time you read it, I shall be dead. I suspect it will be my heart - it was always a fickle thing, even in the days when I gave it to you, and age has not tempered its tendency to mischief. I can't say how many years may have passed since we last met, for that meeting still lies in my future. It would be nice to believe that we've spent a long and happy life together, and that the instructions in this letter have long since ceased to matter, but I fear that is not my destiny, and so I must do what I can while I have the time._

 _._

Jade felt her throat go dry. Even though she'd been prepared for it, the sudden intimacy was overwhelming. Even the way she wrote triggered memories, brief flashes of conversation, a voice so warm that you'd do anything to hear it. And she could hear it now. This was the closest she'd ever be to her, hearing the voice of a woman she barely remembered, who'd be dead only hours after writing this. Dead because of her.

Holly must have seen the guilt written on her face. "Caroline knew she was dying, Jade," she said. "She kept it from you, because she didn't want you to know. What happened at the Club could have happened anywhere. It wasn't your fault. I think in many ways she knew she was on borrowed time, and was determined to make the most of it, to live life, to go out with a bang rather than a whimper. You made her happy, Jade. You were her last dance. Her swan song."

 _Her swan song._ She recalled, now, a bottle of pills - the silent grimace as Caroline turned away, sent her on an errand, sent her anywhere, determined not to let her see that it was getting too much. "I don't think I can read this," she croaked.

"You have to."

Jade rubbed at her eyes, and reluctantly turned back to the letter.

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 _I have recently come into possession of certain facts regarding the girl I have always known as Sally Easterbrook._

 _Her name is not 'Sally'. She's not a nineteen-year-old college student. She isn't studying English and Drama, and working on a thesis about the role of submission in Twentieth-century literature. She isn't doing any of those things._

 _Her name is Jade West, and she is a freshman at Hollywood Arts._

 _Hollywood Arts is a high school, Holly. I trust I don't need to spell out what that means._

 _._

She looked up at Holly in confusion. "I don't..."

"You were fifteen, Jade. Abuse of a minor. She could have gone to jail."

"But I went voluntarily!"

"Not how the courts would see it. Do you have any idea of the risk she was taking? You could have made life very difficult for her, if you'd chosen to."

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 _I'm not a monster, Holly, please don't think that of me. I didn't know, and I had no reason to doubt her. And now that I've found out the truth I have to dissolve our relationship, let her down gently, try to limit the damage that I may have done. To her, especially, but also to me. I know that sounds cowardly, but I would rather we parted ways amicably, that she felt no ill will towards me. I pray that she didn't, that we may even be friends, but if you're reading this I fear not. So I ask you to do the one thing that might make it right, or at least atone for what sins I may have committed._

 _Find her for me, Holly. Find her and tell her I'm sorry. I never meant any harm, and I always tried to do my best by her, even though some would say that what we did was wrong by its very nature. I like to think she was happy during our time together, but who can say what we come to regret as we grow older? I like to think - no, I believe \- that's she'll grow up into a fine young lady, and that what happened between us won't have hurt her, that she may even look back on it fondly. But even if she doesn't, I still beg you to carry out my last wishes. If she hasn't reached eighteen yet, then I'll leave it at your discretion as to how to proceed until then. I always trusted you to do the right thing, Holly, and I always will._

 _So farewell, Holly. I wish you luck in your quest, unwelcome though it is. But you always were a determined little thing, I'm sure you'll see it through. And if you find her, tell her it was an_ _honor_ _and a privilege to have known her._

 _As it was an_ _honor_ _and a privilege to have known you, too. I shall always love you, Holly, no matter where I am. I hope you have a long and happy life, full of joy and adventure, and love and laughter, I hope you have grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. You're a better woman than your mother ever was. And at the end, at the dying of the light, when the wonder begins to fade and the world feels like a smaller place than it did when we were young, know that I will still be waiting for you._

 _Until the parting of the veil,_

 _Totus Tuus_

 _Caroline._

 _._

 _P.S. I'm sorry this seems a little morbid, these are difficult times. I'm sure we'll be laughing in the Green Door this time next week, giving Lady Mary a run for her money. I wonder if she remembers us?_

 _P.P.S. The legal stuff is on the back._

 _._

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Jade stared at it. "An 'honor and a privilege'?" she said.

"Don't mock her."

"I'm not mocking her," Jade said. "It's just I can't believe there's a world where anyone would think it was an honor and a privilege to know _either_ of us."

Holly was forced to laugh. "We do make quite a pair," she said. "But that was Caroline. She always saw the best in everyone. I always hoped Tori would be like her."

Jade raised an eyebrow at the implication. _Because you're more like me_. "I still don't see why you're showing me this," she said.

"That's not really what you need to see, I just wanted you to know how she felt about you. Turn to the second page."

Jade did. The second page was full of small, dense print, but her eyes were drawn to the heading. She looked up at Holly. "This is her will?"

"Yes. Read it."

Jade scanned down the page, trying to interpret the legalese. After a while her jaw dropped.

"You can't be serious."

"I am."

"But there must be some mistake. She couldn't have-"

"No, Jade. She was very clear about it. Apart from a few personal things for me, she left everything in a trust for you, when you turned eighteen. The proceeds from the house, her shares, her money. All of it. I didn't know it at the time, but Caroline was a very wealthy woman. And now, so are you."

"But why?"

Holly sighed. "She had no children of her own, Jade. No family, no one. You meant a very great deal to her, as you can see from the letter, and she felt guilty about having taken advantage of you so young."

"But she didn't take advantage of me," Jade protested. "If anything, I should be apologizing to her for lying to her."

"Yes, you should. But you can't."

There was silence for a moment. Holly waited for what she knew was coming next.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" Jade said.

"I am telling you."

"I mean why didn't you tell me about this before, when you met me, when you found out who I was?"

Holly said nothing, and Jade's eyes widened in realization. "You wanted _this_ , didn't you?" she said. "That's why you didn't tell me. You wanted me on the hook with Tori before I found out, so you could get your hands on it."

"Jade..."

"How was it going to go, Holly?" she demanded. "Were you just going to trick me out of it? Or were you going to have Tori order me to hand it over like a good little slave, give up all my worldly possessions to my 'mistress'?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Or was it the drugs? Were you going to get us hitched and then arrange another little accident at the Club so that Tori inherited everything?"

"Jade!" Holly was genuinely shocked. "I am a lot of things, Jade, but I'm not a murderer."

"Then _tell_ me."

They glared at each other for a moment, before Holly sighed, and sat down. "Okay," she said. "I'll admit that I was hoping that, given time, you might be persuaded to invest in the Club."

"'Persuaded'?"

"Yes, persuaded. Not forced. I don't blame you for questioning my motives, they're not spotless. But I would never have tried to take this from you by coercion."

"Why not?"

"Because Caroline wouldn't have wanted it," Holly snapped. "I loved her, Jade, and I would never sully her memory by going against her wishes. She told me to use my discretion until you were eighteen, and I did, but the money is yours and I wouldn't betray her like that."

Jade simmered down, slightly.

"And I did it for Tori, too. I'm only human, Jade. I could see that she was attracted to you, and I didn't want to jeopardize that by giving you an incentive to leave. If you'd known about this, would you have bothered staying in school? You'd have gone, and she'd have lost you, and I didn't want that. I could see a great future for you two."

Jade snorted. "As a mistress with a rich slave."

"As a _couple_. You can't blame for wanting to give my daughter a good start in life."

"Does Tori know about this?"

"No, of course not. I just wanted you to be happy together. But I had hoped that when it came to the Club, you might be… interested in becoming involved, that you might want to be a part of it. You and Tori together."

"Really? Well let me tell you something, Holly. Two things. One, no amount of money would change the way I feel about Tori, and two, if you wanted me to be 'interested' in the Club, why didn't you just tell me about and ask me if I wanted to go? Why would you think that dragging me there against my will - _threatening_ me into it - would make me do anything but hate it?"

"Because I wasn't thinking straight!" Holly said. "I had a lot on my mind. And I tried to fix it, tried to offer you membership on your own terms, but you didn't want it by then. If you had, then maybe you, Tori and I might have been able to turn the Club around."

"A little late for that, now."

"It doesn't have to be."

"What do you mean?"

Holly hesitated, and then handed over the second letter. Jade looked at it. The envelope was blank. "What's this?"

"This," Holly said, "represents my share of the Club. I'm giving it to you."

"What? Why?"

"Because it's the right thing to do. I've treated you badly, I've lied to you, and I've tried to use you for my own ends. This is by way of an apology."

"But this... this is everything you have," Jade said in astonishment. "Everything you own is tied up in the Club."

"Yes it is."

"But this is Tori's future, too. You can't just hand it over to me."

"Tori's future _is_ with you."

"I can't take this."

"I insist."

"Why?"

"Because," Holly said carefully, drawing the two letters side by side, "between this, and Caroline's money…" She paused, and took a deep breath. "You could own the Diamond Club completely."

"What?"

"Or at least hold a majority share, have total control."

"But-"

"Think about it, Jade," Holly said. "Think about what you could do. No more suffering, no more humiliation, no more pain for you. You can be the one in charge, you can be the one in the elegant dress, and the designer shoes, snapping your fingers so they all come running. And not just subs, the dommes, too. You could have them all in the palm of your hand."

"I could be Marla, in other words," Jade said, flatly.

"No, Jade. You'll never be Marla. If I thought you were, I wouldn't do this."

"And what makes you think I _want_ this, Holly? I can't stand the damned place."

"You couldn't stand it the way it was. But you could remake it the way you want."

"And if I refuse?"

Holly shrugged. "Then I'll give my share to Tori."

"So we'll never be free, is that it? We'll always be tied to the Club."

"It's freedom that I'm _giving_ you, Jade. Freedom from your memories. How do you want to remember this part of your life? As a dismal failure, something you'll always regret? Or as the prelude to something greater, the dark days before the dawn, the suffering made sweeter by the glory of victory?"

"Are you making this up, or did you write this little speech beforehand?"

"I'm just saying that there's a poetic justice here, a way of making it all worthwhile."

"You know, I've never heard anyone talk about opening a bondage club as a noble cause."

"Do it right, Jade, and it _is_ a noble cause. Make them do it right. Show them."

"What would _I_ know about it?"

"From what Tori said, you know plenty."

"Please don't say she-"

"You were born to it, Jade. Even I can see that. Caroline saw it too."

Jade exhaled, and leaned forward, head in her hands. For a while no one spoke. Eventually, she looked up at Holly.

"No," she said.

"No?"

"No. It's too much. I just can't do it, I can't bring myself to set foot in there again. So thank you, Holly, for your offer, but you can give your share to Tori, and she can do what she wants with it. She can run the place while I stay home and watch TV on a Friday night, if that's what she wants, but I'm done."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry, Holly, that's the way it is."

Holly's shoulders sagged. "I understand."

"Thank you."

"I'll have the office make arrangements for Caroline's money."

Jade nodded, and then something occurred to her.

 _Yes, you should. But you can't._

"Holly?"

"Yes?"

"There is something you can do for me."

.

.

.

It wasn't anyone's idea of a birthday party, but then nothing about the day had panned out the way Jade had expected. And now they stood, the three of them, beside the final resting place of Caroline Mulhearn. Tori had offered not to come, not wanting to intrude, but Jade had insisted, and now she slipped her hand into the other girl's and gave it a squeeze. Holly stood slightly apart from them, lost in her own reverie.

Jade cleared her throat. "I should have brought some flowers, or something," she said.

Tori hesitated, then reached into her pocket, and pressed something into Jade's palm. She saw what it was, and looked at Tori, questioningly.

"I don't need it," Tori said. "And I don't think you do, either. Maybe this is where it should be."

Jade nodded. She walked toward the gravestone, and knelt.

"I'm sorry, Caroline."

She could feel the tears welling up, but she tried to keep them back. "I'm sorry I lied to you. I'm sorry I let you believe I was something I wasn't. I wish I remembered more about you, but Holly says you were a good person. So this is for you."

She pulled out her scissors, and began to dig a small hole close to the stone. When she was finished, she took the little brass compass, and slipped it down into the earth.

"Tori says you can have it," she said, the tears flowing freely now. "She's like that. She's generous and she's kind, and…. You'd have liked her. She's one of you guys. One of the good ones."

She covered over the hole, patting down the soil.

"And it means the same thing to you as it did to her, you know?" she said, sniffing and wiping her eyes on her sleeve. "Anything. Anything you want. Wherever you are, Caroline, if you need me I'll come running. Just like I always did. Just like I did when I was…" Her voice cracked, and dwindled to a whisper. "When I was your Sally."

She leaned over, and pressed her lips gently to the smooth stone. "Goodbye, Caroline."

.

.

.


	65. Chapter 65 - Swan Song

**And so here it is, the concluding chapter of Power Play. It's been a long haul, but I hope it's been worth it. I must admit it feels a little strange coming to the end, I don't know what I'm going to do with all my spare time now. Maybe I'll take up gardening.**

.

.

.

They made their way back to the car in silence, Holly lingering behind to make her own peace. When she finally joined them, Jade and Tori were locked in a tight embrace, and she had to wait a few minutes until they noticed her. When they did, she raised an eyebrow, a silent question. Jade looked at Tori, and shook her head.

"What?" Tori said, her eyes flickering nervously between Holly and Jade. "What's going on?"

"There's something you need to know."

"Oh, great." Tori slumped back against the side of the car. "What? What is it now?" she said. "Please don't tell me there's something else. I'm not sure I can take any more surprises."

"It's not a bad thing," Jade said.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Okay, you can tell me. But if I start screaming, I'm not going to stop."

"Caroline... left me some money."

"Really?" Tori blinked in surprise, and then her face crumpled in sympathy. "Oh, Jade. That was really sweet of her."

"Yeah, it was." Jade said. "The thing is, it's quite a lot of money."

"How much?"

Jade looked at Holly. "I don't actually know."

"Enough to take a vacation?"

"Enough to buy the Diamond Club."

Jade waited patiently while Tori recovered from her coughing fit. "The Diamond Club?" she croaked.

"Yeah. The Diamond Club. Your mom wants me to buy it."

"Not all of it, Jade," Holly said. "Half of it."

"Whatever. But the point is, I want to know what you think of that."

Tori was still struggling to come to terms with Jade's windfall. "Do you _want_ to buy half of it?" she managed.

"No."

"Oh." Tori pulled herself up straight. "Okay. Then what's the problem?"

"The problem, Tori," Jade said, glaring at Holly, "is that you now own most of the other half."

"I... What?"

"I had hoped," Holly interrupted, "to discuss this elsewhere, in our own time. But it's true. I'm transferring my share in the Club to you as soon as you reach eighteen."

"But why?"

"Because I think you'll do a better job with it than I ever did."

"Me?"

"Well, you and… whoever else is involved."

"Whoever else? But Jade said she didn't want to do it."

"Yes, she did, didn't she?" Holly tapped her teeth, thoughtfully. "Quite a dilemma, isn't it? Quite the dilemma, indeed. Of course there's always Claudia, and Madison, and Catherine..." She shrugged. "Well, if you girls don't mind, I think I'll get in the car. It's getting cold."

She did so, and left the two girls stood facing each other, Jade grinding her teeth at the realization that somehow, in some way, she'd been shafted by Holly once again, Tori still reeling from the fact that she was now, if not cash-rich, at least the owner of something, and also that the girl in front of her was considerably richer.

"Did I ever tell you," Jade said, eventually, "how much I hate your mom?"

Tori though for a moment. "Yes," she said. "Yes you did."

"Good. Just checking. So?"

"So what?"

"So what do you want to do?"

"About what?"

"About the Club."

"I thought you didn't want to do it?"

"I don't. But I don't want to leave you on your own, either."

"But..." She looked at Jade, the other girl's eyes wide, searching, questioning, and it dawned on her.

 _Jade wanted it._ Somewhere inside, she wanted it. She just didn't _want_ to want it. She couldn't bear the guilt, the thought of giving in like this, indulging herself in the very thing she'd despised, walking through the halls of the Diamond Club as its mistress after everything she'd been through. She felt a sudden pang of sympathy for her, torn between her principles and her desires, standing out in the cold with her face pressed up against the window, desperate to join the party inside, but knowing she can't because it would be a betrayal of everything she thought was right. And yet she deserved it, and the irony was that if anyone could turn the Club around, if anyone could _make_ it right, it was her.

But more than that, she needed it. She needed to close this chapter out with her on top, otherwise she'd never get over it, just drift, rich and listless, letting the memory eat away at her. She needed the focus, she needed to… what was the phrase? Put right what once went wrong. She wouldn't accept it as a gift, she'd never take it as the victor's spoils. But if she could cast it as a sacrifice, a challenge, as _something she had to do..._

"But I'd appreciate any help," she said. "I'm mean, I know you wouldn't want to go or anything, but maybe just a little advice now and then, just for moral support…"

Jade puffed out her cheeks. "I don't know, Tori."

Tori thought about the names that her mom had reeled off, and realized she'd used them for a reason. "It's just I'm not sure I could stand being pushed around by Claudia..."

"Okay," Jade said, quickly. "I'll do it."

"... and having to put up with Madison Kentworth..."

"I said I'll _do_ it," Jade said.

"Are you sure? I don't want to pressure you into it."

"Anything for you."

"Obviously you can change your mind if it gets too much for you…"

"Don't push it, Tori, I know what you're doing."

"I don't know what you mean," Tori said, innocently.

"Yeah, right," Jade said, skeptically. "Look, I'll help you out, but I'm not going to run it. That's up to you."

"Okay."

"I mean I've got a few ideas, maybe, but that's all."

"I understand."

"I'll just be a silent partner."

"Got you."

"As long as we're clear on that."

"Absolutely."

"Right, let's get back in the car before I decide to dig another two holes in this graveyard and make it the Vega family resting place."

.

.

.

Six months later. The building had been restored, and renovated. The insurance had covered most of the structural work. What the insurance hadn't covered, of course, was what was actually in it. It had taken a lot of pressure from one of the members to ensure that the investigators hadn't looked too closely at what the Club was used for, the downside of which was that could hardly start filing a claim for the contents of the Red Room. The charred remains of the large wooden crosses had raised an eyebrow among the fire crew, but they'd passed the Club off as an amateur dramatics society, which struck Jade as apt. But still a large part of the refitting was going to have to come out of her money, which had at least solved the problem of having to explain any sudden wealth to her dad, she though, glumly, as between that and the cost of her investment, she was just as broke as she'd ever been. And also, somehow, she'd ended up in this damned place again. She wasn't sure exactly _when_ Tori had managed that little switcheroo, but she was beginning to feel that for all her determination, she'd pretty much met her match in Tori Vega.

And now she stood, as she had so many times, naked and afraid, before the women of the Diamond Club.

Not _actually_ naked, of course. She just felt that way. In reality she was wearing a smart, formal black dress, hair parted neatly, a touch of ruby on the lips. Tori on the other hand…

Jade had wanted Tori to stand beside her, to present a united front, but Tori had insisted on wearing what she called her 'dominission' outfit, the one she'd worn to the Club the night of the crucifixion, along with Jade's war paint and her hair piled high, shot through with the iron nails. And now she stood to the side of her, behind her shoulder, with an expression of cold disregard on her face, looking for all the world like an Amazonian bodyguard. Even Jade found her a little frightening. When she'd asked her why she wanted to do it, she'd simply said, '"It looks better."

And she was right. Instead of two teenaged girls on the stage, they were now a small taskforce, Jade front and center, flanked to her right by a stern and terrifying Tori, and to the left by a cool and businesslike Holly. The whole point was respect. If both Tori and Holly deferred to her, then there was a chance these women would, too.

Her palms were sweating.

"Ladies," she said. "Thank you for coming. Holly has asked me to speak to you as members of the Diamond Club."

They weren't all here, of course. Some had bailed the moment the Club had hit the news, fearing the worst. Some had found themselves bereft of a sub as soon as the drugs had worn off and the girls had come to their senses. And some, like Claudia, had been such awful human beings that they hadn't been invited at all, Holly had simply reimbursed their investment and told them it was over. She grimaced. That had cost a lot, too. So what was left was this, the rump, the remains, the people that Holly had judged could just, at a push, be considered redeemable.

She didn't like a lot of them. In fact, she didn't like any of them. But you had to work with what you'd got.

And it wasn't just the dommes. The subs were here, too. Holly had been very insistent about that when she'd made the phone calls. No sub, no dice.

Some of them were dressed in fetish gear, expecting the Diamond Club to be open for business, some were just in everyday clothes. All of them were looking at her.

She hadn't really planned what she was going to say.

"Many of you are expecting the reopening of the Diamond Club," she said. That's not going to happen. "

She paused, while they murmured among themselves. She waited until there a hush, and then she went on.

"What we play here is a game," she said. "It's about roles, and it's about choices. And this Club has, in the past, been guilty of enforcing those roles, and undermining those choices. It has lent its weight to bullying, and abuse, and it's no longer fit for purpose. The Diamond Club, as we know it, is over."

There was more muttering, and she moved on before it erupted into anger.

"I'd like to share something with you," she said. "I've played both sides of this game. I've been a sub in the name of the Sisterhood, and I've been a sub for love, and Tori here has very generously allowed me to be her domme. I've played the long game and the short game. I've lived it as a lifestyle, seven days a week. I've done it for fun, on the spur of the moment. I've been down on my knees with a lash on my back, I've been worshipped like a goddess. I've crossed the line, and I've blurred the boundaries. I've been top, and I've been bottom, I've done role-play, pet-play, power-play and the rest. And let me tell you what I've learned.

"There is a right way and a wrong way to do this," she said. "And it's not about technique, it's not about the rules. It's about attitude. It's about intention. The wrong way involves coercion, manipulation, and deceit. It involves exploiting someone else's weaknesses for your own benefit, it involves drip-feeding the tint of fantasy into the water of reality so slowly that they don't know the well is being poisoned until it's too late. It involves screwing with someone's mind, separating them from their friends, and family, and then telling them you'll be their world, their protector, that they don't need to think for themselves. The wrong way involves taking what you want at someone else's expense. That's the bottom line.

"But the right way... The right way involves _giving_. It involves care, and compassion. Tenderness. Laughter. It involves being able to step away from what you do once in a while and acknowledge that you're equals, that this is just a game, a triviality, a tale of sound and fury signifying nothing. And yes, I know Shakespeare might be a little surprised to find himself quoted in this context, but then who knows what the old coot got up to in his spare time."

There was a faint ripple of laughter.

"The thing is, the difference between the right way and the wrong way affects you in this room more than most. If you make a mistake in a session, then you can apologize, take a break, give it a rest for a while. But you guys play the long game. You're an anomaly in this world. You do what you do full-time, all the time. You live it. And that can be dangerous, because there's no space to readjust, no comeback, no downtime, and the apology becomes harder to make without breaking the spell, and eventually it becomes redundant. Human beings are malleable. They can be trained. It what makes us adaptable, survivors. People get used to things. And after a while they come to accept those things as the norm, and forget there was ever a choice. People stick with what they know, even if it starts to go bad, because change can be daunting. And that way lies madness.

"The shadow world is a construct, and if you let it bleed into the real world, if you let yourself go too far down the rabbit-hole, you'll find nothing but pain. For _both_ of you. It's often said that slavery diminishes both the slave and the slave-holder. The same holds true even when it's only make-believe, if you lose sight of your humanity. Because your humanity doesn't just belong to you. It's not yours to give away. You share it with the rest of the human race. So if you let someone grind your face in the dirt for the sake of a cheap thrill, we can all taste it. If you beat someone in anger because you've forgotten who they are, we can all feel it. We're in this together. If you go down, we go down, and the world gets just that little bit darker.

"So there you have it," she said. "That's what I've learned. There's a right way and a wrong way. It's black and white." She smiled, faintly. "There are no shades of gray."

There was a sea of stunned faces. She cleared her throat. "Anyway, given all that, and I'm sure you're all eager to find out what's going on, I'll come to the point. The Diamond Club is no more. It is tainted beyond redemption. But we, that is to say, Tori and I..." she half turned to Tori, who nodded, "would like to invite you to join a new club. A different club. And I'm not talking about some glorified gym bar like they have across town, I'm talking about the real deal. Just like the Diamond Club, it will be exclusive, discrete, you can still come and let your hair down, strut your stuff, make your deals and play your games, all in perfect privacy. But the difference is this. _Everyone_ will be a member. Subs and dommes alike. There will be no Sisterhood, no secret society, no power in the hands of the few. Everyone will hold a full, individual membership, and that membership will entitle them to an equal say in how the club is run. Straight down the line. There will be no underclass. This isn't a petting zoo or a dog show. If a sub is not your sub, then you keep your hands off her. If a domme is not your domme, then you don't need to bow and scrape unless that's your thing. You'll treat everyone you meet in here, sub or domme, with the same respect you would if you met them in the real world.

"And yes, I know for some of you that was the attraction. The secrecy. The Sisterhood. The idea of being part of something special, of being better than the rest. I'm not asking you to give that up. I'm just asking that you expand your idea of 'special' to include the girl standing beside you, the one who's been loyal to you. The one who's come here, night after night, when sometimes, let's face it, it hasn't been much fun for her.

"Because it _should_ be fun. That's what was missing from the Diamond Club. We were all so caught up in the idea of domination and submission, of trials and membership, of keeping up appearances, that we forgot that it's not a job, it's not a duty, it's not about your career. It's supposed to be _fun_. For everyone. So that's where we're going. That's what we're all about. We're going to lighten the fuck up, and we're going to have a whole bunch of fun. So," she said, "who's with me?"

There was a long silence, broken only by a few coughs.

"Right," Jade said, her mouth dry. "Okay. Well, in that case, are there any questions?"

"Yeah, I've got a question," a voice came from the back, which Jade recognized as Catherine Banks, the economics professor. "Where's my fucking money?"

 _Great_. Jade turned to Holly. "You want to answer that?"

Holly stepped forward. "The new club owns what remains of the Diamond Club," she said. "It holds all its assets, and it's bound to honor its debts. Your money's safe, our investments are still secure, and if you decide to become a member of the new club, you'll be allotted a proportional share. If you want to withdraw, you can do it under the same terms we agreed for the Diamond Club."

"A 'proportional share'?" Catherine said. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Jade and Tori hold the majority of the new club. You'll be given a pro-rata share of the remainder."

"Oh, will I? Well, that's very fucking generous of you. You can shove it up your ass. I'm not spending my time in some two-bit kindergarten club run by a couple of kids. Get me my money by tomorrow, Holly." She turned to the girl next to her. "Come on, you, we're leaving."

But the girl made no move to go. "I'd like to stay," she said, quietly.

The woman turned on her. "Oh, you would, would you?" she said, acidly. "I see. You think you deserve a membership all of your very own, is that it?"

"Well…"

"Do you have any idea how much membership actually _costs_?" she snapped. "No, of course you don't, because it's never fucking occurred to you, has it? You just come here to run around in your underwear, flirting with everyone, and fetching me a drink whenever you can be bothered to get your fat lazy ass to the bar. "

There were a few gasps at this, and the girl turned red. "I don't-"

"Where are you going to find that kind of money?" Caroline went on, savagely. "Hmm? 'Cause I ain't paying double, just so you can get fancy ideas about yourself. That's where the con is, isn't it, Holly?" She turned to Tori's mom. "Offer them membership like you're doing them a favor. _Poor little subs, boo hoo, what's to become of them?_ But it means double the revenue for you, and twice the cost for me, doesn't it?"

Jade's heart sank. This had never occurred to her. The club was exclusive because it was expensive, the dommes who came here had money. But the same couldn't necessarily be said for the subs. The girl that was looking so helplessly at Catherine was her student, there was no way she could-

"First year's free," Tori cut in, suddenly.

There was silence, as Holly and Jade turned to stare at her. Holly's business sense kicked into overdrive as she tried to calculate the cost of Tori's offer, while Tori and Jade engaged in a mute argument consisting entirely of facial expressions, which Tori final won by hoisting her eyebrow defiantly. Jade turned back quickly. "Absolutely," she said. "As Tori says, the first year's free. No fees until you settle in."

There was a long an uneasy silence, while this new gambit was considered. The girl was still looking at Catherine, pleadingly.

A hand went up. "I'm in." Jade peered into the crowd. _Trixie_. Thank you, Trixie. She almost winced at the dig in the ribs Danielle must have received, before she nodded stiffly, with a slightly pained expression, as though she were at an auction. And then there was another hand. "Me too." And another. And then the floodgates opened, as the younger girls, emboldened by Trixie's example, gleefully flung up their hands. "Me! Me!"

And not just the subs. There were dommes too - some because, despite appearances, there was simply nothing else they could do, others spurred, Jade suspected, by the sight of Catherine's behavior, at recognizing something of themselves in her attitude, something they didn't like. "Count us in."

"Me too." This was Madison Kentworth. Catherine stared at her betrayer, accusingly. "What?" Madison said, unconcerned. "It's free, for Christ's sake. You're the one with the degree, Poindexter, you figure it out."

Catherine stared at the sea of hands in disgust, gave one last glare at her recalcitrant sub, and stormed out of the room. The girl, whose name was Joanna, found herself reluctantly at the center of attention, as everyone watched to see if she'd follow.

She didn't. Instead, she half raised her hand. "I'm in?" she said, hopefully.

There was a cheer.

"All right!" Jade said, punching the air as Tori hugged her. "I mean, er, good. Very good. Ahem." She brushed her hair back from her face and smoothed down her dress. "So, we have a start. And it _is_ just a start. We will grow, ladies. This club will be a force to be reckoned with. We have money, we have members, and we have enough smarts in this room to make it work. Hell, we could even franchise it, have clubs all over the world, make ourselves a fortune. Any questions?"

One hand went up. "Will there be trials?"

"To get in? No. You can have trials if you want them, if it's something you all agree on. You can have trials, and games, and league tables, and Tori here will give away a golden dildo to the winner if that's what floats your boat, but there's only one test you'll have to face to get your membership."

"What's that?"

"Me."

"You?"

"Well, not just me. Me and Tori. And Holly. This isn't some free-for-all we're running here. It's not a drop-in center. Like I said, we're exclusive. Application is by invitation only, and you get in if, and only if, we think you've got what it takes."

Jade knew she had them here. Exclusivity was what it was all about. And now the clincher. Make them feel _special_. "Of course, you guys were all hand-picked by Holly to be here at the very beginning, so I guess we'll waive that in your case."

"What about the fees?"

"As Tori said, free for the first year, see if you like it. After that," she glanced at Holly, "half what they were before. So even if one of you has to pay for the other, you're no worse off than you were in the Diamond Club."

"Facilities?"

"Everything the old club had, but more. There'll be play rooms, quiet rooms, movie rooms, bars, you name it, we'll have it."

"And fire exits," Tori chimed in. "What?" she said, defensively, when they all looked at her. "It's important."

"Yes it is," Jade said, with a laugh. "Yes it is. You hear that, ladies? We'll have plenty of fire exits. Nothing says sexy like strict adherence to fire regulations. Anyone else?"

There were a few more questions, until finally, "What's the club going to be called?"

"I'm glad you asked me that," Jade said, relieved. She moved over to a flip-board covered with a sheet. "The new club will be called..." She whipped off the sheet with a flourish. "The Swan."

On the board was a logo - a stylized swan, bisected diagonally, half-black, half-white. She and Tori had been up most of last night making it. Under it there was a small Latin motto - _Demens, Maleficus, et Periculosus Agnosci_ \- which Jade would be willing to swear on her life, even to Tori, meant 'Safe, Sane and Consensual', but which really, _really_ didn't. Her distrust of ducks didn't quite extend to swans, but she knew they were dangerous little suckers.

"Duality," she said. "Partnership. Swans bond for life, they share their responsibilities, they learn from their mistakes. They're stronger together than apart, and they'll fight to defend one another. They make a pretty formidable team. And of course, in many ways," she added, with a grin, "the swan represents the perfect domme - elegant, calm and unruffled on the surface, but working like crazy underneath."

There was a flurry of further questions, some financial, some technical, and some directed at Tori, whose position and outfit seemed enticingly ambiguous, particularly to the subs. By the end of the session, they were exhausted, but jubilant. The club was viable. Just.

"Why don't you two head home," Holly said. "I'll finish up here. Take the car."

They nodded, and headed out to the parking lot. "I need a drink," Jade said.

"I know a place."

"Where?"

"Somewhere my mom told me about." Tori paused. "You might want to get changed first."

.

.

.

Holly gathered her papers together. She hadn't mentioned it to Jade or Tori, but there was still the small matter of Marla's shares. Her body hadn't been recovered, which she found troubling. Not least from a personal point of view - if the body had been reduced to ashes, it was probably now ingrained in the building itself, and the thought of being forever haunted by a vengeful Marla gave her sleepless nights. But it also meant she was officially a missing person, which raised all kinds of questions. She decided not to worry about it. There was time enough for that later.

.

.

.

 _The young woman pushed the wheelchair down the ramp and onto the concourse. The occupant of the chair was, despite the hot weather, wearing a hat and dark glasses, a large shawl covering her body and tucked up across her face, and from somewhere underneath there escaped a constant litany of muttered curses and criticism, most of it directed at the hapless girl herself. Despite her carefulness, the wheel of the chair caught in a rut, jolting the chair, and she winced as a gnarled hand shot out from under the shawl to grasp at the armrest. The skin was taut and yellow, like parchment, and the young woman shuddered. She'd never get used to the sight of the burns._

 _"Careful, you stupid girl! Now, do you have the tickets?"_

 _She sighed in resignation. "Yes, mom," she said. She looked back at the large black sedan now pulling away. "Are we really leaving for good?"_

 _"For now." The voice was dry, like the rustling of leaves._

 _"But we'll be back, Deborah. We'll be back."_

.

.

.

Lady Mary eased herself onto the piano stool. It was an indulgence, she knew, but the Green Door was still her club, and it had been a tradition for as long as she'd run it. Her eyesight wasn't what it was, but her wits were sharp, and her fingers found the keys of their own accord. The hush descended. She peered around the room, and her gaze fell on the couple in the corner. Something familiar about them. Two girls in matching outfits, giggling and nudging each other. Where had she seen them before?

 _When_ , not where. Of course. They were the pair who'd got themselves locked in the playroom that time. Their names were still scratched on the bar. Holly and... what was the other one? Caroline, that was it.

But it couldn't be them. That was over twenty years ago, and these two could be barely eighteen. But still, the similarity was striking. She felt for a moment as though she was twenty years younger, and smiled. She flexed her fingers and began to play, the song that the young man in the leather jacket had taught her all those years ago.

 _._

 _Shiny, shiny, shiny boots of leather..._

 _Whiplash girl-child in the dark..._

 _Come the bells, your servant don't forsake her..._

 _Strike dear mistress, and cure her heart..._

 _._

 _._

 _._

"I love this song," Jade said. "Hey, you still didn't give me the rest of my present."

"What present?"

"You said there was another part to my present. Apart from the scarf."

"Oh, that." Tori grinned. "I'll let you look for it later."

"Look for it? Is it hidden?"

"Kind of."

"Hidden where? In your room?"

"Not unless I'm in there too."

"So you've got it with you?"

"Yes."

"Can I have it?"

"It's not really something I can give you."

"Why?"

Tori told her. Jade stared in disbelief.

"You didn't," she said.

"I did."

"Tori!"

"What? It's very tasteful. You'll like it."

"Please tell me it doesn't say anything gross."

"It doesn't. It just says _'Jade'_. Kim did a really good job."

"Kim did it?"

"Yes. And I hope you appreciate how toe-curlingly embarrassing it was for me to have to go in there after the way you guys stitched me up."

"I'm really sorry about that."

"It's okay. We had a laugh about it in the end. She's interested in coming back to the club."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Says she'll offer us a deal if we recommend her to the members."

"That's cool." Jade sighed. "Have we done the right thing, Tori?"

Tori shrugged. "I dunno. Do we _ever_ do the right thing?"

"Who knows?" Jade played with her glass. "I'm sorry," she said.

"For what?"

"For everything. For turning your life upside down."

"Don't be. I told you to show me adventure, and you did."

"But-"

"No buts. A year ago I had no idea where my life was going. I was bored, and I couldn't see further than the end of a leash. And now, now I feel alive. I've got the most exciting girlfriend in the world, my family's back together, and I'm happier than I ever was. Plus I own my own bondage club," she added. "Which is nice."

"It's the simple things in life."

"Isn't it."

"I'm sorry about the compass, too," she said, after a moment. "I shouldn't have taken it from you."

"I told you, I don't need it."

"But maybe I need it."

" _You_ don't need it either. You're not the person you were. You've grown up. And if I ever feel you're going too far, I've got all the control I need."

"What control?"

Tori stuck her bottom lip out in a pout, and put on her best 'wounded puppy' expression. Jade laughed. "Yeah, that'll do it," she said. "That'll do it every time."

"Although there was one thing I was going to use the compass for," Tori said, stirring her drink, thoughtfully.

"What?"

She leaned across and whispered in Jade's ear.

"Really?"

"Uh huh."

"Wow." Jade blinked in shock. "Are you sure you'd want me to do that?"

"Yup."

"That's pretty extreme."

"Yeah, it is."

"I mean, I've never done that before."

"I would hope not."

Jade paused. "Okay."

"What?"

"I'll do it."

"You will? Even without the compass?"

"Even without the compass."

"Yay!"

"But on one condition."

"What's that?"

"We are not, repeat _not_ ," she said, "holding the wedding at the Club."

Tori grinned. "Spoilsport. Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"That's a shame. I could just see us now."

"No."

"You in a smart leather basque, with a riding crop in your hand."

"Stop that."

"Me in a white veil, and a collar..."

"Tori…"

"… and nothing else."

"Whoa. Right, that's it. Finish your drink."

"We're leaving?"

"No, we're going to see if that old broad over there has a key to the private room."

"Ooooh."

"And then I'm going to find that tattoo."

.

.

.

 _I am tired, I am weary..._

 _I could sleep for a thousand years..._

 _A thousand dreams, that would awake me..._

 _Different colors, made of tears._

 _._

And Lady Mary played on, long into the night.

.

.

.

 _And somewhere on a beach, a young woman lay, head propped on a beach bag, long, auburn hair drying in the sun. In the sea, her partner was still swimming, but the salt was making her skin prickle, and she was tired. She picked up the book by her side._

 _It was an airport novel, full of the terrible absurdities and far-fetched coincidences that made real life seem so tame at times. Secret societies. Shadowy conspiracies. Lurid sex scenes. The heroes win out, but the villain is never quite dead. Who writes this stuff?_

 _She opened it, and her bookmark slid down into her lap. She picked it up and studied it for the first time in years. A child's woven bracelet. Worn and faded. Too small for her to wear. She ran her fingers over it slowly, and remembered._

 _A family holiday. She'd been eight years old, but mature for her age, cocky, sure of herself - a real little bruiser, her grandmother had said, disapprovingly. Her parents had let her run freely across the holiday park, grateful for the peace and quiet inside the small cabin, and she'd found herself wandering, looking for mischief, idly swinging a small hammer that she'd found outside the maintenance shack._

 _And then she'd seen her. The little girl. She couldn't have been more than five or six, and yet her parents were nowhere to be seen. She was sat alone on a bench in the tiny playground, looking across, occasionally, longingly, towards the swings. But every time she did so, the older children gathered there would jeer, and throw things at her. And so she stayed where she was, head bowed, sullen, silent, the tears rolling down her face onto a pair of shiny new sneakers._

 _And she'd felt a sense of terrible injustice, and she'd taken the hammer and she'd taken her anger, and she'd chased the older kids away, sending them skittering in terror at this furious eight-year-old with the dangerous gleam in her eye. And then she'd taken the little girl by the hand, and led her to the swings, and they'd played there for the rest of the day, swinging back and forth, going higher and high, giggling and calling to each other over and over again._

 _"Who are you?" she'd shout._

 _And the little girl would yell out her name at the top of her voice._

 _"And what are you?"_

 _"I'm a big girl!"_

 _And later, when the girl's parents finally arrived to take her home for dinner, they'd exchanged bracelets, made a pact to be friends for life. Of course, she'd never seen her again - that was the nature of summer friendships, pledged eternally, fleeting as butterflies. But she sometimes hoped that she'd made a difference, that her small act of kindness might have touched the life of the strange little girl with the green eyes._

 _"Sally? Hey, Sally!"_

 _Her partner was calling her, wanting to go for ice-cream. She sighed, and began to close the book. "Coming, Michelle!"_

 _She paused, the bracelet still in her hand, and wondered._

 _Whatever happened to little Jadey West?_

.

.

.

 **And that concludes our little tale, as we return to the original story, with Tori and Jade opening The Swan with the help of a (sadly departed, in our version) Caroline. And we finally meet Sally, a childhood friend, the subconscious memory of whose kindness helped Jade through her darkest hours. We see an echo of her in 'Tori is Done'.**

 **I hope you've enjoyed it. It's been fun to write, although a little difficult at times. If you've made it this far, please let me know - I'd appreciate it.**

 **The young man in the leather jacket was Lou Reed. I'm sure he wouldn't mind - Lady Mary was probably quite something back in the day. The song was 'Venus in Furs', the lyrics of which opened our story.**

 **Jade's Latin motto, which I'm sure Holly will be furious about when she deciphers it, reads 'Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Know', a description of Lord Byron that Jade borrowed when they broke into the Diamond Club.**

 **At the risk of sounding like the Oscars, many thanks to Max Tomos for his invaluable assistance and advice. Sally's girlfriend Michelle comes from Max's story 'Love Cuffs', which shares its origin with this one. And thanks to all who reviewed. Special thanks to those who stuck with it and reviewed every chapter - you know who you are, and you deserve a medal.**

 **And many, many thanks to Quitting time for the kind loan of our cast and crew, and the events of the first half of this story. And also for showing a considerable amount of tolerance for where we went with it.**

 **And, of course, for the infamous Diamond Club itself.**

 **There will be an epilogue at some point, where we'll have a look at how the girls are getting on running the Swan. There may even be a sequel, if anyone wants it – Marla and Deborah are still at large. But for now I'm going to flag it as complete, and go and have a lie down. My brain hurts.**

 **Thanks for reading.**

 **Sev.**


End file.
